Krazy Truth about Swinging #325 Two Paths Cross

Transcript

hey kids the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations adult language themes and other adult topics if you're easily offended this show's not for you hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth about swinging i'm the host with most colon here with the lovely lovely and highly bundled up miss amanda Hey. We're going to tantalize to. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host with Mos Cole, and I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and highly bundled up Miss Amanda. Hey.

We're here to tantalate, titillate, and freeze your titties off today in the studio. Full of exciting information, words, verbiage, other things that sound like some sort of communication. Lots of clicks. For those of you following along at home, this is Season 8, Episode 325, 3, 2, 5, and we're ready to roll. Quick shout out from our sponsors, because everybody likes this part. Why? Because they pay our bills. Motor Bunny, don't trust your cooter to just anybody.

Motor Bunny, top quality names, top quality product, a sex toy you can depend on that will help you come over and over again for as long as you have it. Get the original or the brand new buck, either one, and ride your way into a happy, happy world. Also, smokingmeatsbarbecuetreats.com.

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Also, you can also get our special blend that we've worked with them as well for Casbah's special blend. Where you can get that? At our website. CrazyCasbah.com. We'll have them at Crazy Winter Nights. We will. We'll have them at Crazy Winter Nights. Not the penguins. Not the walrus meat, but we will have the meat rub. And asnlifestylemagazine.com. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle, make it a habit each and every month to read asnlifestylemagazine.com. Hey, guess what? Award nominations start next month. Hint. Do they really? Yep.

And one of the things you can have is best group. Best lifestyle group. So Crazy Kazma could win a group. Hint. Anyways, you're going to want to check it out next month anyways. It's really badass. You can find our ad in there. Just saying.

And finally, don't let your dick fall off or your cl clip fall off get tested uh safety i hope they don't listen to this one safety first it's all of our responsibility to be tested in lifestyle and you know what all the excuses of being tested are eliminated if you use the official testing agency of casbah inc basis dx it's at home it, it's cost-effective, it's quick, it's easy, and it's effective. Make testing a responsibility both for your health and for the rest of the lifestyle. You can find on our show notes how all the websites get to BasisDX.

So several of our sponsors are actually going to be at Crazy Wonder Nights. Awesome. ASN will most likely be there. Smoking Meets BBQ Treats will be there. Motor Bunny will have a present there. They are sponsoring the raffle. Because we're giving away two Motor Bunnies. And Basis DX will also be there as well. Plus, you've got a couple of those. Cap Condoms will be there, but Nightcaps is one of our sponsors for the safe table. They're going to be there. They're not going to be there, but they have stuff there. We've got all kinds of cool stuff.

Finally, Courtney is on here to remind me, we still have calendars. I can't get banned off my shit. Miss Amanda is hot and sexy. Kohl's, yeah. Anyway, so Dee just messaged me for mine. You can go on Miss Amanda's website, find hers. And you need to go on there anyways and go vote for you on mini-vids. So you can watch her buck. It's hot. I was there. I recorded all of them. Anyways, or most of them. So there we go. Most of them. So, yeah, Crazy Wonder Nights is coming up really, really fucking quick. We had a fun weekend. We're out at Island Riders for their Valentine's Day party.

We just spent a tour. And really, Crazy Winter Nights is like this huge. If you do Crazy Winter Nights, then we will take a short four-day hiatus. And we have like a week. And we take it. No. Yeah. One week we're home for a week. Then we take a short four-day hiatus. Six days. And then we are, after we've gone 40, then we are back and we are on the road. And shit starts going crazy. We're in the travel schedule. I think, I don't know. I think we're putting your shit together. And I think it's something like, we're gone. We're gone every month. April, May, June. July, no.

We don't have anything in July August, a couple we have two in June we have two in August we have nothing in September two in May, don't we? two in May and one in October right now, so far so we're going to be on the road so it's going to be an exciting time. So, we've got all this fun stuff going on. So, yeah. There you go. Anything you want to talk about? Yeah, I said it was season. Anything you want to talk about? Start with? Anything you want to add, interject, otherwise? Not yet. Alright, perfect. I'm pretty sure I'll think of something. I doubt it. You're quiet. You think of stuff.

I doubt it. You're quiet. You think of stuff out of the factory. We should have talked about that. Well, fuck. Maybe we should have. Yeah. Okay. It's always a last minute. So. You done? I didn't do it. Fucking thing never works for me. Anyways, okay, so.

I never went like this to get it to go i don't know how you do that anyway for those of you listening over here trying to fucking make the so uh okay so it and we had an interesting we had an interesting thing i wanted to bring up because i think it's such a great fucking topic To talk about In a roundabout sort of way And so we actually had So we were talking to some folks that are friends of ours That have been lots of You want to try that again?

And this time without the stroke I have lots of folks That would I'm just going to lick the meat rub Folks that have been to to several of our KWNs. No, thank you. I'll choke. KWNs, and they're not able to come this year. And they were explaining to me why. And I thought it was so – I thought it was a great topic because the reason why is that they are taking a break from big events because it's not – for them, they don't have as much fun at the big events. It hasn't been – it hasn't met their expectations, okay, for whatever those are.

And I didn't ask what those are, but it hasn't met their expectations. The reason that's such a unique concept is it made me think about the fact of how much our lifestyle journey changes.

And the fact that so many times as we go through the process, you know, when start off and we when we first get in the lifestyle it's like we really don't know we don't know where it's gonna go we don't know what what exciting thing the lifestyle is gonna take it's just kind of like wow here we go we're kind of just along for the ride right I mean that's pretty pretty standard way that works we're just we don't know it's new it's exciting so we don't necessarily try to plot a course with it which is totally uh an awesome thing but as we get more experience just like anything in life we start to apply direction right so i mean we do that let's when you're young and you start a career you it's kind of like let's see where it goes or you you know whatever but eventually you start to apply direction because your experiences you figure out some things you like and don't like like when you're first new you don't have a clue what the fuck you like and you don't have a clue what the fuck you don't like and you don't really care you really just want to experience it all right i actually come to find out you don't want to experience it all but you don't know that yet right so which is which is why it's so fun exciting plus things are going to change as you go anyway exactly you're going to the reasons why you did it your previous experiences are going to shape your feelings on different things, on different, whether it be different types of events, for example, you know, like, and it's always funny because where we do like the, the camping and the, the, you know, the hotel takeover and there's meet and greets out there and there's there's a million one as you look around the country lots of groups do all kinds of cool different things and you're gonna find certain things that you know if you're not into camping for example for us crazy summer nights is probably not going to be the event for you right right because it just isn't so you you discover and you start to steer same with meet and greets every part of it but as you start to develop your path the reality of it is you can start in the lifestyle at the exact same time with five other couples and your experiences can be pretty similar but you're going to find that your paths are going to vary off differently.

And that's the part I think sometimes that confuses, because when you get older, it's like you start looking at other people and we start to get set in that our path is the right path. Okay. I mean, I think it can happen. I don't think it's like vindictively done that way right but somebody else's path doesn't make sense to us and so in turn i think that sometimes that can create a unless it falls through to be a guest i think think that that can create a, like, almost a click of its own type thing in the lifestyle. Because we're always talking about trying to avoid clicks.

But that kind of can create one all on its own. True.

because you're going to start to gravitate towards people with similar interests or things that look familiar to you and that's the part that i think is really interesting and and but the bigger thing is how do we respond to other people's unique path because I think that we can get in a lifestyle it's hard to believe we can be judgy i know there's judgmental there's judge i know i'm just as surprised as you are absolutely shocked and and but how do we avoid that and maybe are we that right i mean i think because i know that when you the first time when you let's use something let's use a concept of drinking you go party with people party and all of a sudden they choose out of the blue for whatever reason to stop drinking for a while whatever don't i don't know why whatever just Okay.

party, and all of a sudden they choose out of the blue for whatever reason to stop drinking for a while, whatever I don't know why, whatever I'm not going to, we judge we're like, what the what the fuck are you doing, why?

right, I mean, we judge instead of just going, okay, cool it's the same thing in the lifestyle so to give use the example of the one couple well what kind of expectations are you setting that's a natural reaction when actually the thing is stop here's the correct answer oh cool and that becomes the thing how do how do we battle that to make sure that we do not either consciously or subconsciously start to get judgy that's like a question i know i was just waiting for you to follow up with something because you usually do nope you have to change the way you respond do do think Do you see that though As Or has it become Just because you question it doesn't mean you're judgy about it though No but as we've gotten older Is it more obvious Because the change happens It's happening the whole time you're in the lifestyle.

It's generally pretty gradual, but is it something? Why is it that you, you hear about this kind of stuff and see this kind of stuff more now that we're like in our fifties than we were in our forties. The change was happening, right? The steering was happening.

But maybe in your forties, you were so concentrated on what because you you're fairly new some people whatever you're at one stage of your life that you don't notice it very well could be i i think that it i think that it's interesting because because i thought a lot about it and i think that And I think that the shift becomes more extreme as we get older ourselves. I think when we're younger, just most things we do in life, it is more of a gradual because it's like, well, maybe we'll give things more of a chance or we're not for sure we want to get out of that lane, so to speak.

And so we just kind of gradually drift over where you reach a certain point where you're just like, I don't want to do that. I mean, it's like hard stop. I don't want to do that. And I wonder if it's not more of a thing of, because it's a maturity level and how we do deal with a lot of parts of our lives, right? Because how many people, again, let's go back to the example of drinking or diet or smoking or whatever.

How many people have you known that have smoked, drank, whatever, eaten shitty for years and years and all of a sudden they reach this age in their life where all of a sudden they're like, I don't want to smoke anymore. And they quit smoking or Or I don't want to drink anymore. Or I want to start working out. It's like the changes in our life become more drastic and more, fuck, we've got to stop this right now type of thing. And so does that correlate over into the lifestyle that we do the same type of concept? It can.

Well, most likely likely it would but you also have different scenarios of someone could have been following along with whatever the other spouse or significant other was doing that they finally finally put their foot down and go you know what i'm tired of going out every night very much so which actually brings me to my next point which is So we know that couples or individuals, you know, can, will shift course. Like as they.

Which actually brings me to my next point, which is, so we know that couples or individuals, you know, can, will shift course, like is the example I was going to start with. But how does it play into, as couples, do, do couples also have, does their path vary? And what is. You mean individually? Yeah and the bigger question With it is the bigger question of all is What is The response, reward, consequence Whatever you want to say Of the variation whether it be The couple complete Stop or whether individuals, what's the bigger ramifications?

Because ultimately in the lifestyle, that's everything we look at. What are the ramifications? You know, when we first got in this, it was like, we're going to flirt, to fuck. So the whole ramification was to get laid. As we go along further along, it changes. It shifts. So now it's still looking at what are the ramifications. But we have to go back. So does it affect couples? It's the same concept, the same type of scenario where now all of a sudden you have the couple's path diverges in the woods, so to speak. It could. It very well could.

Do you think it's more predominant in dating couples versus married couples? My gut would say it's more acknowledged in dating couples, but it's not more predominant in dating couples. That would be my thought. Yeah, I never really thought about it. I mean, because ultimately I I think that if you're in a dating couple's relationship, sometimes there are some things like that that are easier to actually acknowledge because it's a dating thing than when it is a married thing because there's other ramifications.

I mean, again, the perspective changes because the dynamics are different for a lot of people. I'm sure some long-term dating couples would probably say no, are probably very similar. But there's a difference in dynamics with that shift, if that shift happens, if that shift is occurring right and that's that's the part that's interesting is that okay so what are the ramifications of that shift insert blank here they can be anything i mean seriously it can be anything. I mean, seriously, it can be anywhere from... Great show, everybody. Thanks for having us.

It can be anywhere from cheating to stopping the lifestyle to continuing on. You know, if one person convinces the other one to keep going or, you know, it just depends. You know, if someone goes, yeah, but I really like this party, then they would give in to go to a party, even though they didn't like it. See, to me, I think that that's a very valid point, but I think that that it's I think it's deeper than that. See, to me, I feel like that's the sacrifices and the game, so to speak, that everybody plays when you're first into it.

Well, I don't really like that party, but the type of scenario. To me, the changes are different and have higher significance Thank you. To me, the changes are different and have higher significance later on. Well, yeah, there's all different kinds of things that could curtail people from doing stuff. I was just going based upon your original couple that weren't going to big parties anymore. Right.

You it's it's everybody's path is different maybe at some point in time they go you know what i don't i don't want to do this anymore which which makes sense but that becomes a whole new that opens up a whole new challenge because that opens up a whole new a whole new can of worms within within which is funny so basically to a degree then the lifestyle becomes becomes circular because that's what so many people have in the very beginning you know how many times do you see how do you convince my partner how do you convince my partner or unsure of so then it goes completely full circle but can that be avoided only the couple can answer that well but i mean i i'm just saying it's like the thing is is that the reality of it is that goes to the point of of the subject of am i too old at some point in time you're going to think that you're not going to be able to find anybody to hook up with you know you're not going to be doing it in your 90s are you well i don't so you know i don't necessarily think that that's where that goes to i don't think that that's i think what people want the old issue yes is eventually everybody's gonna get there i think if you're if you this long enough, you're all going to get it at some point in time.

But I don't think that, to me, I'm talking about, I guess, that's not the veering, that I'm trying to explain. I'm trying to figure out where you're. It's that, to me, some of that shit, I'm talking about the deeper, the, I don't believe that, I mean, I guess everything does come down to either you're in or you're out. I guess it ultimately comes down to either you, if as a couple, that path of what the adventure looks like, what you want varies. You either, one side either just gives in or you get out altogether. Or you find a compromise.

Well, but that's's it just depends on the depth of what you're experiencing to me that's what that's what i'm talking about is the deeper the deeper things that where there's a huge i don't think it has to even necessarily be that huge to make a huge difference ripple in in the concept of of how much of a difference it plays for a couple. I don't, I mean, the analogy I would use is it's like a steering wheel in a car that's really tight. You know, you don't have to, like, go, you know, all the way over to get the car to do this.

If you have a steering wheel, you go like that just a jerk will will throws everything all ski jawed so and that's the the part that it's like okay so where does that how does that happen there's the thing is is we always say that communication is the key to everything but it's not that's the challenging part with this because i don't feel So some things i don't think you can you it becomes a sell job you're trying to sell you're trying to sell what your vision of this adventure is going to look like versus and and that and that becomes that becomes a problem in some instances yeah I don't think all of them would be that way.

I think it becomes an issue if... If you got into it jointly. I mean, let's face it, it was kind of a sell job with ours because you kept pounding for a long time. Right.

But when we got got in we had one path right so do we still have one path i think so well i mean i don't know i mean that that's it's a great thing because some of the people don't ever examine i don't know that i don't know that i can't say 100 we do do or 100% we don't we don't ever examine it because the path the overall the shift in lanes has always been both there's never been there's never been like a like a you know twins trying to pull each other apart going the opposite direction it's never been like that so but does that does that shift does that change How many times, How many times did you take one for the team?

How many times did I take one for the team? How much of it gets disguised as compromise when it's actually, it's not compromise, it's giving in.

And the reason I think that's important is that as the really as other parts of the lifestyle slow down it becomes harder to hide the flaws so when you're new yeah I took one for the team but there's a group sex thing and so just kind of like it just blurs over right because that's the joy of anything being new it's like being new to a job well this part sucks but there's enough other parts that that's all good after as you've been there been there like the fluff wears off it's harder and harder to hide the the flaws well as we get older that the old age concept comes in there of you know you and I as a couple aren't as desirable to a 20-something couple as we were when we were late 30s.

I mean, we're just not. It is what it is. Obviously, we're okay with that. We understand that.

But the fluff to hide the flaws, there's not as much fluff there.'s like the bubbles it's you're at you're at the end of the bubble bath there's less bubbles to hide it so how do you deal with that how do you deal with it to make it that it's it doesn't become one side on any given on everything or sometimes how do you make it so it doesn't go back to somebody taking one for the team because we did that shit we all do that shit when we're first in it because we don't know any better I'll see you next time.

or sometimes how do you make it so it doesn't go back to somebody taking one for the team because we did that shit we all do that shit when we're first in it because we don't know any better for the most part i mean because we're just like hey well this is our only chance because we don't do it right now we're never gonna be able to have sex again ever no one will ever talk to us again or if you start your own page no one will ever talk to you i'm just saying just saying. So, you know, we panic flex when you're new. But we know that's not true now, I would hope.

If you've been there as long as we have, you know that, you know what, you can say no and it's okay. Like, you know, you won't be ostracized unless you start your own page. And that's a totally different show, just you know and as we get older how do we how do you talk about it how do you talk about it in an honest way that's not that's not trying to protect or sway. Because to me, that's the interesting point. That's one of the biggest challenges. We get older in the lifestyle or more time in the lifestyle and older. I mean, if you started in 20, you've been as long as we have.

Then you'd only be in your fucking late 30s. And then it wouldn't even fucking matter because you still don't even know what fucking old is. you know but as as as you but when you have older age with it as well how do you how do you manipulate not manipulate how do you know no manipulation the word i was looking for was navigate how do you navigate that which is the right way to do it i don know. Hopefully one of the partners has the courage to say something. I mean, I don't know. Is there really an answer? I don't know. There kind of has to be somewhere.

Because I think that's part of the problem as we see people. When we were younger, I didn't like going out twice a weekend, but I did it. Yes, I know. Because you worked long and hard and you should get a break. I'm so fucking. Put the lipstick down. Quit trying to decorate the pig. you did it fucking to humor me because I was fucking in the fucking complete search prowl mode, and it was easier than listening to me, bitch. No. It's like letting the dog out, even though the dog just was out. It's eventually just like, will you quit whining and barking? You will? He didn't whine and bark.

There was a couple of times where I go, I don't want to go out, so I'll wear this. And I'm not getting ready. And then one time you did it, smart ass. You got hit on more than ever before. Mm-hmm. Yep. Who knew? Camo pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Drell Mellon. And combat boots. Combat boots. Mm-hmm. That was my go-to outfit at the time. Yeah. And people loved it. Weird. And I just got this, oh, my God, you're such a badass. I'm like, I wasn't intending on that. I know I'm mumbling. Well, I'm just watching.

I'm just making sure that people, the 12 people that listen to the show on tape when it releases actually can hear us. That's all. Is it on tape? Probably. Or is it digital? No, it's on tape. It's on tape.

anyways release it actually can hear us that's all is it on tape or is it digital no it's on tape it's on tape anyways but okay so that's just it then how do we get so all those times that you just gave in how do you not go back to that that's that it becomes the challenge And I think you see as older couples navigate the lifestyle this becomes a very real thing well i'd like to think the more that they're in it the more they're willing to put their foot down as they got more experienced here's the thing i don't but that's just it it's not so much about putting their foot down see to me it's that was it's it's two extremes you didn't put your foot down at all when you we first got into it and and we weren't the only couple that you that just watch people just give in you know you didn't put your foot down at all and then you can go to the extreme the other direction which is it is just about putting your foot down which is no that's not that's not a compromise either that's not a discussion that's not using any of the skill sets that supposedly you should have learned all the way through the lifestyle that's fucking digging your heels in that's being a horse that won't cross a fucking wooden branch and there's a difference and how do you avoid how do you avoid the extremes to me it's like bowling how do you stay those are your two fucking gutters how the fuck do you stay out of the gutters because they're gutter extremes and neither one is right giving in is not right fucking just going it's not right like how do you stay in the middle and that's the part that to get there how do you get there and is is it do you reach a point that it's too late to get there it's like if you're in it 25 years do you reach this point where it's like you're fucked like you know like timed out i i mean i don't know we haven't been in 25 years obviously but how But how does that go?

Because you see this problem more and more. You can watch it. You can watch it with older couples. The value of being that having been in this this long is that you can watch the dynamics change from the outside looking in. And watching how much it's changed with couples that we've known for however many fucking eternity, because we're old, years. They're not. We are just saying, you know, and that, and that's the, and, and that's the, that becomes the challenge. And I think that it's important to talk about it because I think that people don't even understand.

they understand something's happening, but they don't understand what it is, and it's happening, and it is, it causes stress, it causes anxiety, it causes the same type of an emotional response, or the same emotions that you had when you first got in the lifestyle the response is different because some of those were new and excited and whatever but it has still causes stress before it was excitement now it's dread still causes animosity because you didn't know what was going on because you're dreading what the fuck's going to happen you know i mean it's the the both the gutters on a bowling alley look identical.

They both look identical. And that's what, it's still the exact same emotions, but the response with them is way different. And I think the other thing is, is that I think the, it seemed, the perception to me would be looking from the outside in that gutter that that not the young gutter the old gutter the consequences are way more severe because when you're new you can just go fuck it we don't want to do this anymore anyways you know i knew a guy that I worked with at a car dealership who talked about that they were swingers.

This was before we got in the lifestyle when I worked at the old Jim Arps.

They were swingers for a short time because he was talking about the only time his dick was anywhere that his wife approved because they had had like two or three hookups and and it didn't work for them right so it's one of those things that when you're younger if if all these emotions pile up and are too fucking much ultimately you can just go we're gonna be that's what we're done and you just walk away and which is fine you still have there's residual shit to deal with but it's minor maybe it's six months maybe it's a couple of experience maybe it's six months maybe it's a year experience versus here you can walk away you're walking away from if you just if you just hop out and go we're done most people have been in the ceiling time don't have shit for fucking vanilla friends.

Don't have a fucking vanilla life. Odds are they're both not on the same fucking page with the whole fucking thing. And there's other issues going through and you're not fucking 20, 30, 40 years old anymore. So the consequences over here are way more severe. We all understand you're not gonna fuck as much because you're old ta-da i mean it's just you're gonna find your group and you find your your tribe and rock on but just to sport fuck or go on the prowl is probably gonna be less as you get over here you can can deal with that part, but cut it all off.

And if everybody wasn't, like, absolutely diehard set on it and starting to look at each other, and that's going to be a fucking problem. That's going to be a whole new baggage of shit going on with that. So how do you avoid it? Mind you, again, if you both reach the point where neither one of you want anything to do with it, then getting out is getting out. Hey, that was a great time in our lives, whatever. And I have no doubt there are some people out there that that's absolutely what they can do.

I'm sure there's some people out there that have been in the lifestyle a long time to still have vanilla friends. I don't know any of them. But, you know, I know there's some out there that still have that. Well, just because if you decide to leave, does that mean you have to leave your friends? Yes. Why? Because part of that is that, oh, okay, so you're leaving the, we're not going to play anymore. You weren't playing. That wasn't what was causing the animosity to begin with at that point in time. That's part of it to me. I don't playing.

That wasn't what was causing the animosity to begin with at that point in time. That's part of it to me. I mean, maybe I guess I suppose you could, but it's, you know, if you were part of a smoking club and you, you went and smoked cigars every, every week, that's where you went and did and you quit smoking cigars. Would it be fun to go to the cigar place again? Well, we hang out with people all the time that we've never had sex with or that we don't have sex with anymore. Does that make them not friends?

You can't be friends or it has to be sexually related i'm confused it's it's not no i guess i believe you still can where are you gonna go hang out at are you gonna go to a swinger event well is that the only place you hang out with people that are swingers when was the last time we went and hung out with swingers that wasn't some form of swingers? Yes, it's at a vanilla bar where we do the Friday night bar thing. But it's just sitting at a bar talking with people just because they're swingers.

It doesn't mean they're talking about sex or hooking up with people or they're only going there to hook up with people that's we're on different wavelengths on that one because no i you're always gonna we don't have any vanilla friends hell we don't have very many friends but i don't really care no i probably i but yeah well there's part, there's part of the gutter. There's part of the gutter. Because it's like, okay, so this goes back to the show three shows ago. Are you still a swinger? I mean, yeah, I suppose you could. I would think it would be awkward.

I don't understand people who are recovering alcoholics, how they can do it to go hang out in a bar. I think it's the most amazing thing in the world. I think it's a tremendous skill set, to be honest with you. I think that's amazing. Not everybody can do that. I think that, well, but every swinger should be able to, right? Because it's not talking about sex. It's not sexually charged. I mean, at that point in time is so, what, I mean, yeah. It would, I guess it would give you the fix. I think that it would be, you know. What fix? The somewhat of a concept of still being a swinger.

I guess to me, if people come out with, if you have a whole bunch of people come out that aren't really swingers that want to hang out with swingers part of me goes why because some people feel like they can be themselves without being judged we know that's the biggest bunch of bullshit known to man not really because really you know you don't think that you don't think that that's that's crap okay well maybe in a perfect world some people want to be perverted and crack jokes and stuff and they don't feel like they can do that about everybody because you don't know if you're going to offend somebody well swingers not going to offend them by any stretch doesn't mean you can't hang out with them so then how do you know when this is where we do not how do you how do you know when you reach that point, then what's the reason you're going?

How do you know when you've reached that session? How do you know when you're both at that point? It's a personal discussion between you two well how how does that discussion start that's that's the part i'm trying to help there are people out here that are in that boat boat so that's what i'm trying to figure out how do you how do you get to that If you're both not on the same page, let me ask this because I'm curious. If you're both not on the same page at all. Okay. Great. We're over here.

Is it all right for one to not be in that mindset and one to be in that mindset is it okay i heard what you said i'm just trying to figure out what mindset you're talking about if you're talking about being a swing even if you decide to never play again does that mean you can't hang out with the same people? No. What I'm asking is, if you're both not in the same spot, how does it work? Well, that takes serious discussion of going, you know what? I'm really not feeling it anymore. I really don't want to do it anymore. Okay, great.

But we're going to still go because that's our only friends and we can go, and that's not a problem. So you can go to a bar and hang out with them. Does that mean if someone goes, hey, let's go have sex, no, we're good. Okay, but if we aren't good, if I'm good, but you're not good, or vice versa, how do you deal with that? Well, it depends on the dynamic.

I tell you, if you want to go play go fucking play i'm not but that okay that i suppose but you have an obligation to make sure that who you're going to play with is okay with your dynamic with that right so that changes it and we know in the lifestyle if you look through the history how how much are people okay with that when When was the last time we played as a couple? Not us playing as a couple is different than my spouse isn't in the lifestyle. That's a totally different ballgame.

How people respond to that is totally different than we don't play together as a couple as a couple but to me it's kind of same thing but it doesn't matter if it's to you but it's to the rest of the people how does that work because that's the challenge is that think about the people we've known through the years that have had that legitimately had that scenario and the issues that went with that or the bullshit that went with that for them. Cause it would be easy to go. You can talk to her. Maybe. Some people don't give two shits. I suppose.

I don't think i think that it creates i think it creates an awkward dynamic for other people probably some well and the thing is is the attitude would be of the person who's not involved doesn't give a shit if it does or not because it doesn't create an awkward situation for them so then then the role becomes, because that's, I think that older swingers get to that point. I think that's part of the challenge is that they're not on the same fucking page.

And how then in turn, do you manipulate, how do you maneuver those waters so that you don't take and one alienate a potential play partner because that's your it's not you don't want to drag them into your bullshit how do you make it so that it's still a win-win situation or a situation that that as a couple you're okay with and that it's that it doesn't become more of a hassle i mean more of a problem because i think that it can i think that it can create a huge situation each couple is going to be different you can't base it on one one thought process because nothing in the lifestyle is based upon one life one thought process everything in the lifestyle is baseball's communication everything in the lifestyle is based upon one thought process.

Everything in the lifestyle is based upon communication. Everything in the lifestyle is based off of basic standards, basic set things. Now, where they go off from there goes different. And what my thing is is that how do you make communication work in this?

That's the part that i think is the most challenging that i see it i think if you're right every couple is going to be different i think that it's going to be i think that if i have a couple that approaches me that has that dynamic it's going to be it's like a drama thing yeah that's just no no and i don't i i think that i think that the shitty part of it is and it with any part of life and anything in life is that you know if one half of of a couple still believes in you know most most couples at least say they get into it as a couple for enjoyment as a couple.

If one half still enjoys that and that part's gone, it doesn't matter if they have permission to fuck. You reach a point in the lifestyle, at least it appears that most people do, that's more than that. That's more than just fucking. So if part of the, if part of the enjoyment of that, of the lifestyle is that, is that the couple concept, how do you do that as it splits? And maybe there is no answer. And maybe it's just, well, you just don't and move on with life. And that very well could be. I mean, that's, I don't know.

But I think that's a very real problem that you see with couples as they manipulate and maneuver throughout the lifestyle as they get older, trying to figure that out. Because we're not the young hardcore parties anymore. You're not that group.

There's a whole new group of generation that does that now and we're all fine with that because we can't but there's still there's still rocky waters that you have to try to plow through to make it work and to figure it out and that's part that i think is interesting to see how how you can even how you can even do it how you even make make it work I should have brought a glass of windows a lot probably you know so I don't know that's it's it's the very real problems of aging in the lifestyle and it it the the consequences are huge and you and i think i'm more in tune to seeing that now than i was when i was younger like i i i see that i see i see the the storm below the calm like you got the outer layer and you see the you can see the lava flowing underneath because i think it creates incredible strife i think it creates i think it creates incredible stress because it's almost like people don't know how to they so don't know how to maneuver it it's hot it hurts it burns it's it's like nope and they don't know how to do it so they try to hop around it I can't read that I can't read that even more now You have to get up closer to it If I ever left the lifestyle I would hope I would still have the friendships I've made.

So many I've never played with, but still are friends. And exactly, yeah, I mean. That's why I think you can still, what, you squinting at it? Watching me fucking do this. I think you can still remain, you know, still remain the friendships you had.

You know, if you say, hey, we're getting out, people aren't going to just ditch you and go you and go well fuck you then i don't ever want to talk to you again that's not gonna happen i think that i think that if you if it's hey we are getting out that's yes that that's easier but if it's not hey we are getting out that is a whole new dynamic so the one time that you said when we first got in and said anytime that you don't want to do this anymore we're out are you saying that that was a lie then no i'm saying i would still i would still adhere to it to this day i would say i would still adhere to it to this day because the concept was we were doing this together and i would still adhere to this today right Thank you.

because the concept was we were doing this together, and I would still adhere to this today. Right. Would I be overly thrilled? No. Would I do it? Yeah. Maybe there's a lot of couples like that.

There is, and that part's the easiest part of doing that part's easy that's no different than getting up and fucking commuting to go to work that's just what you do it it doesn't mean i gotta go into work and fucking throw the commute to work i hated it but i still did it that would that would never that when when i said that to you when we started this when we said that it wasn't just me when we both said that and both agreed with that that was a that was like doing in my mind that was like doing a vow right okay so that is that is what it is and that's not something that i would be that i would be willing to break right but the thing is it doesn't mean that i should be thrilled about it because and it definitely for me it would be it would be I would figure out how and probably no one would be able to tell it around me because I can do that.

But it would be, it would be, for me, shitty to sit there and then still go to swinger events and you know i mean most of me don't play anyway that but yeah no shit you don't say but that's not that that's not that we didn't when it was parties anyway it was no we didn't once we started when your idiot husband started a page we didn't we didn't at our parties we did used to play there was a time we did at parties very often at parties uh we we we did play some parties there we did actually do that you get what you can't think back to any times that we ever fucking played at parties or anything like that?

A few. Not very many, but a few. So we played, what, three times in the last fucking 14 years? Or how did that work? We know several couples in the lifestyle for reasons... And, of course, it comes away right when I started reading it. For reasons of their own, they're no longer in the lifestyle. We're still great friends with them. We still get together and do things. Yes, I couldn't imagine just not talking to 90% of my friends because I wasn't a swinger anymore.

It would, the thing is, it would change the dynamic in my mind It would change the dynamic in my mind I'd do it I'd still do it It's no different than anything else I would still do it I guess I don't have as much of a A bleak remembrance of all the years before we ever started CASBA, but I would do it. But I think that to me there would be a part of it that's just like, you know, so if we don't play anyways, why would we need to get out type thing would be my thought process. But again, I would absolutely honor it because that to me was the most important thing.

If there was a rule that we made that was the most important rule we ever made, that was it. So I wouldn't break that rule. We never broke that rule, I wouldn't break it. Would I still go and, yeah, sure, absolutely. You know, because, but would it make it stressful for me to alter my behavior? Yeah. How would you have to alter your behavior? Seriously? Seriously. How would I have to alter my behavior?

What, not sticking your tongue down somebody's well okay yeah you say that and you fucking giggle but yeah what you do you think that some of that shit would have to change i mean if you notice anything the way i am out and with people do you think any of that would have to change okay do you think that it would have to change because I'm touchy? Next time we're out, watch the fucking girls and see how many times I'm touchy. It's all part of that as I'm going. Yes, that would fucking, a huge part of that would change. A huge part of that would change.

And in my mind, there are things like that. It would be not because I wouldn't be allowed to. It's about fucking having a little bit of respect and going, I'm not a fucking swinger. There is shit that we did as swingers that was swinger accepted. And I would absolutely not do that because you know what? If somebody comes up to me and tells me, a husband and wife, and they're not a fucking swinger, and then they're pawing all over you, well, then I'm going to do what I would do to a non-swinger that pawed all over you. If you're not a swinger, look with your eyes, not your hands.

So it would absolutely alter it. so for me that's why it wouldn't be that I wouldn't want to see people. Picture me trying to make that adjustment, because I'm not the one that sits quietly and sits on my hands. That's not me. You actually got to see me this weekend move the least that I have moved at an event in five years. I pretty much stayed right there by the table and chatted and whatever. How often have you ever seen me be like that?

In the last three meet and greens that we've went to, have you even me sit down I don't and I'm touching I'm feeling and it would be like I would literally feel like I would need to take and have a little velcro thing I had to keep my hands on in my pocket so like make sure you can feel the velcro because I know me I'm touching I'm pulling And I do it all the time And I've done it that way For years For years That's part of why I've even cut back on my drinking, because I want to make sure I never wanted to be, as I've gotten older and smarter, to realize to not be out of control in those situations, so for me, going there, it wouldn't be about, I didn't want to see the people or anything else.

It would be exceedingly hard for me to make that transition. And on top of it, I would actually be concerned about being a killjoy to other people's time because of being quiet or reserved or as I try to figure out how to find that middle fucking ground. Because we also know that that would happen. That can affect. And I would be terrified because it's not fair for anybody else to come in and fuck everybody else's mood up as I'm trying to figure out how the fuck to be a normal person again. Because let's face it, for the last 10 years, I haven't given a fuck where the fuck we're at.

Who we are, it is what it is. We're swingers and I don't care. So it would be like, it would probably be one of the most frustrating things in the world for me. Could I eventually figure it out? Probably. I mean, I could I absolutely would not do a fucking shot of anything other than water for total fear that I would that I totally you know and it would be it would for me, it would be stressful. It would give me massive anxiety. It would give me massive, my social anxiety would go through the fucking roof. Because I'm not one of them anymore at this point in time.

And there's certain things that if you're not one of them, you don't have the right to do. But that's just because of the way I am with people, I would imagine. And the thing is, is that, and that I would be super concerned that it would fuck up anybody else's good time. Seriously would. I would probably be much more apt to find the furthest part of the group but distant corner that I could possibly find so as to not do what I feel would be inappropriate or not correct or to fuck somebody else up. Shut up.

So do you feel like you'd actually need to tell people i don't need to tell people but i the no i don't have to tell you who you are as a person i'd have to change my behaviors i don't tell people i didn't go to fucking my job and do the same act the same way with people in my mannerisms as i did out at the bar like you know like when i was having customers and selling cars and people come to my office i wasn't touchy it was a different there's a different way that that you did things than when you went out with your friends and your swinger friends on top But there's a totally different way that that you did things than when you went out with your friends and your swinger friends on top of it there's a totally different way that that I behaved it was a totally different way if I would be out with you know there's a very few times but people I knew from high school or something like that you know that I would do things completely different so it's not it's not about announcing I've never walked on and announced it might when i was really drunk but that's not the point but i've you know not i didn't walk on announce it but the reality of it is is that if you have any inkling of social values and norms the shit that i would do or do when i'm out in public and i'm in that environment is not the social values and norms that are acceptable in the real world.

They're just not. It's not acceptable to fucking start at the lower back and have your hand go down on a girl's hat. It's not acceptable. That's not how this works. And in today's age, it's even less acceptable to be as touchy-feely as most swingers are in the real world. It's okay in our world it's socially acceptable. Outside of it, it's not. Give it a few years, it might. No, it's kind of going the other way. But, I mean, that's the thing. So it would absolutely have an effect. That's the part that it's.

on top of it to go back to your point of we never fuck anyways what do you think is the closest thing I get to that sort of fucking that high like seriously what do I get where does it come from it's that I don't know how to flirt i'm just being funny and just going to that place but you know okay so all the the bdsm kink world and the headspace stuff whatever what the fuck do you think that is if we don't ever fuck anyways what do you think that is for me? That's it. So it... How did I get balloons? The fuck did we get balloons? It didn't show up on there, but it showed up on the screen.

Don't knock it over. The fuck did... I don't know what you did to get balloons. Fucking wow. You're out of time. You're over an hour. I don't know. We showed up on the screen that balloons go popping and we have no earthly idea. It's all good. All right. Well, great show. Well, don't panic. We're not leaving the lifestyle. I just want the balloons to come back. How the fuck did I get balloons? I don't know. I don't know. Blow. Blow hard. Blow. All right. Great show. Don't know what the fuck happened or how we got the pyrotechnics.

I don't know if that's pyrotechnics, but sure, we'll go with it. Oh, that's not even the camera there. No, I'm like, what the hell are you doing? Anyways, all right. Well, shout out to our sponsors, ASNLifestyleMagazine.com, MotorBunny.com, SmokingMeatsBBQTreats.com. I almost said the wrong one because I need to get it off my whiteboard. And BasisDX. Don't forget, you still have time to get your test. Get tested before KWN. And make sure when you come up, if you're coming to KWN, and say hi to some of these folks. They like to meet our people and like to meet you guys. So come on up.

You can still get tickets for KWN at crazycasma.com. Check it out today if you would like. Check out the updates to Miss Amanda's website, missamanda.net. They did a great job. They're pretty cool with those. Don't forget, you can still get calendars. Yeah, the first month, two months are gone, but you know what? There's still titties and twat pictures, so it works out. And then there's that one, too. Okay. It's got a dick in the ass face. Yeah, it's awesome.

With that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will, Casbah Style, out. Bye.