Krazy Truth about Swinging #324 CRAMP!!!!!!!

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth about swinging. I'm the host with the most, Fuck off. I'm the host with the most. Come on. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and talented. See, now I can't redo the joke. Miss Amanda. I'm all fucking discombobled because I tried to record this out of microphone. I'm here to tantalate. Well, we're here to tantalate, titillate, and otherwise. Oh, my lungs can turn into a drinking game. Probably can. Basically, we're here to tantalate, titillate, and otherwise. Oh, my lawns can turn into a drinking game. Probably can. Basically, we're here to toggle your nuts. So this is Season 8, Episode 324. Actually, it would be Episode 385. I'll just start over through the years. No, 324 is your following.
Speaker2: We've had to start over that many times.
Speaker1: Oh, yeah, we have.
Speaker3: Yeah. Probably.
Speaker1: You're on now. It's okay. Check it. Anyways, all right. So, hey, quick shout out to our sponsors. This first shot.
Speaker3: Shancer?
Speaker2: I have no idea what you're saying.
Speaker3: E-I-E-I-O.
Speaker1: Make sure that you start checking this out over the next couple months. Just saying. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle world, Thank you. that you start checking this out over the next couple months. Just saying. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com If you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle world, where do you go? I know. Go ahead, Cole. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com You can see our ads. Keep up to date with the latest and greatest news and information. We're having a good ad next month. Yes. Yes, we are. We are having a couple of very, very good ads. Actually, we're very excited. Smokingmeatsbbqtreats.com. You know, it's cold as fuck out. But you know what? Your meat still should not be unrubbed. So make sure you rub your meat, even if it's not going on a grill. Just in the stove, in the oven, the frying pan. Maybe your neighbor's house. Maybe you're going to slap the dog with it it should still be rubbed or in your mouth it should still be rubbed smokingmeatsbbqtreats.com that's s-m-o-k-i-n-m-e-a-t-s b-b-b-q-t-r-e-a-t-s dot com you can get their lovely flavors hickory dust, lemon pepper, s-b-g, orange mango habanero, pineapple paradise sine sinecue, and we've got our own special one. That's right Casbah's special blend. You can get that on our website as well, crazycasbah.com Don't trust your vagina just to anybody. I'll just do all of them because you're never going to learn them in eight years. At motorbunny.com, don't trust your vagina just to any fucking fake dick. Only have the top quality of the best quality products at all times. Motorbunny.com You can get the original or the I don't listen to it. It's like, would you ever know? Oh, if they listened to it, either they'd be paying me way more or they'd be pulling. No, they actually do check it out to make sure we're doing it. Motorbunny.com, check it out. They are a top quality product. Check them out today. And finally, on a completely serious note with it, don't forget, especially with KWN coming up and just the swinger season at hand, we have a responsibility to be safe. You have a responsibility to say get tested. The official testing agency of Casbah, Inc., BasisDX, they are going to be at Crazy Winter Nights, actually. And whether you're doing protests like what we do for the adult world or just a regular swinger test, tests start at $59. It's safe. It's easy. It's convenient. It's delivered right to your tour. Cost effective. There's no longer an excuse not to be tested. Basis DX. Look in the show notes, and you can find the links today. And they're going to be at KWN. They're going to be be at KWN, that's right. And Courtney, I'm going to beat you to it. Don't forget the calendars for the love of fucking God. Before 2025 is up, get your calendars. Obviously, there's the good calendar, Miss Amanda, her boobies and cooters are in here, and then there's the other one, Kohl's. So, make sure you get those. You can get the... You to email me for mine. But for a man, you can go on our website, missamanda.net. Just saying. Okay, so we got – I actually have a good show planned for you tonight. So it's all about what we did last night. So I went to the bar and hung out with with a friend i'm just kidding no what tonight is is about being old tonight's show because we're we're now what seriously so we've had a theme we've been sticking with elderly we've been sticking with a theme as we're talking about shows of dealing with parts of the lifestyle from our standpoint now I mean, when the show first started eight long years ago, eight years later, we were talking about things we were going through at that time, right? So, obviously, we're eight years older, and you can hear it every morning. Snap, crackle, pop. I did a workout yesterday. I can hardly move. Right. So, that's why. So, did So did I so she had to ride on top tonight So But That's one of the things that I want to talk about Because So in the last Month Call month I finally had a hook up again I mean I had one of those in fucking, like, six months. So, I mean, I had a work one, but that doesn't count. So, well, it doesn't. Porn, shooting a porn doesn't count. But I actually had a hookup, right? And so this show, and I'm going to call the, we're going to name the show, Cramps. Okay. Seriously. Okay, so if you know anything about our page, we have a a lot of different pages like you know our crazy ladies page or basic page healthy casbah and the the healthy casbah page and that part of it is a huge part as you get older in the lifestyle yeah feel free to jump in i'm just listening don't just listen i want you to exercise your mouth i can't believe i'm saying that live in words i cramps your new nickname fuck off and by the way we're hiring a new event coordinator i'm kidding no uh but the the reality of it is let's face it we used to be able to take and we could go to the bar, right? Because how did we get our nickname? The crazy couple from Nebraska, right? Because we would party fucking insanely long. We'd party till the bar closed. And then the second party started, which was the fuck party. And we would fuck all night long. Look, here's the reality of it. Last Friday night, we went to the bar. It had been a long fucking week. And there was, I had made the decision, we're going to town. Now, if anybody who knows me or has known me for any number of years knows, I can drink. I don't drink near as much as I used to, but I can drink. And know that what it used to take to get me to puke was a lot of booze. It did not take near as much booze for me to end up puking Friday night when we got home. No. Like, I only had like a drink and a half and like eight shots. I mean, granted, they were all fucking not coming out of the park shots, but for the most part. They weren't gentle shots. No, I had eight or nine shots. There was a time that that would have been a really good warm-up. That had me literally yanking the, this here's the old factor yanking the CPAP machine off stumbling into the bathroom no no no as you're walking down the hallway you hear and I'm listening and I'm like, I better go check. You okay? Uh-uh. Do you need a pan? Uh-uh. All I needed was a cigarette and driving down the air chair and rolling the window down. It was bad. Okay. That was 15 minutes after we got home. Yeah, it took a whole not long to get to that point. So if you'd asked me an hour before we left the bar, 45 minutes before we left the bar, I felt fine. I was starting to hit. You could see it. Well, you could see it, but I wasn't to the point of acknowledging that it was hitting me. So this is a reality of getting older. But the thing is, there's more to it than just that. I mean that that story fucking so fucking shows where we're at but how many times and the girl that i hooked up with is fucking 34 years old the last time i hooked up with her she was fucking 22 years old and you know older than that that's okay and the thing is is that at one point in time when you have to have a discussion about i know you were getting a cramp and trying to fuck through it but that position felt kind of good that is a fucking problem and the reality is i wasn't just having a single cramp my one leg started to cramp my calf started to camp We were doing a it doggy my calf started to cramp on one leg I went to like get up like position put the weight on my other leg to try to stop the crap and the cramp and not stop and my hip on the other leg like just went out and I'm like ah I'm rolling up that was the most noise we made we we were there for four that was the most noise we made was me yelping as i rolled off of her trying to like fucking breathe because i had just cramped like a motherfucker it's the reality of getting older can you say can you fuck as long now as you used to and When we first got in the lifestyle? No, I dry out. Joy of getting older. Can you be twisted in many positions now as when we first got in the lifestyle? I don't know. The porn world's putting me into paces on that one. But you also now do yoga. I didn't do a bunch of weird poses to begin with, or positions. I shouldn't say poses. Right, but. I didn't have somebody like, here, let's twist. Lift the leg up. But now that you're in the corner, you have to. And I guess the question is this. Do you now, and I kind of gave it away because you do yoga, you do things to make it so that when you shoot, you can be more flexible a little bit, wouldn't you say? Well, that's just the benefit of it. That wasn't why I started doing yoga. Here, let's do yoga so we can be more flexible. No, I did it because I wanted more stability because as you get older, you lose stability. Yeah, we don't know where we're at and we we stumble and fall it it's amazes me like we used to make fun of the naked by nine people because that was not us it still isn't no it's still not but honestly i think back we would get to the bar, 8 o'clock, and start hitting it like a fucking boss. I'd be, everybody knew, right? Bacardi and Coke, tall, double, burnt. So every bar I went to, they made my drinks strong and wharf. I'm hammering drinks, and I'm hammering shots. And everybody is.
Speaker2: I remember doing a whole lot of shots.
Speaker3: I do.
Speaker1: And we were partying, and we were just fucking go.
Speaker3: Right?
Speaker1: And, yeah, it was like, okay, we're headed to the hotel. Fucking rock the fuck on. And then we fucked till 4 or 5 in the morning, not later now i'm just like that almost just fucking scares me i don't think i could stay awake that late no you can't stay awake for a podcast well the difference is we could party like that one night come home at four or five laugh about me in the summer sleep and then go do it the next night there's no way we could do that two nights in a row now. Like, Friday, I stayed up and I didn't go to sleep until 10 a.m. Right. Right. And then I only slept for a couple hours. So, did we go out Saturday? Okay, this is the other kind of thing. You forget what the fuck you even did. No, we went somewhere. We made an appearance because there was a meet and greet. We we made an appearance because I drank soda. Oh, that's right. We had a meet and greet with Cody and Amanda. Okay. Yep. We went there, and I'm fucking exhausted because I haven't slept. I'm like, okay, I'm ready to go. Is it time to go yet? Yeah, and what did we stay out? Maybe 11? Maybe. I don't even think of that. 10, 30, or 11.
Speaker3: But the thing is, the reason I want to talk about it is that this is one of the changes that happen when you're in the lifestyle for a long time or for a length of time.
Speaker1: So it's like it's kind of one of those things where you – we went out every weekend, two nights a week, sometimes Thursday, Friday, Saturday. We had some Thursdays in there. Okay. We could go like it was nothing and – No, it was something because I'd be sleeping all the next day because I can't do by sunday by sunday you there's a lot of pictures you like curled up on the couch on sunday fucking yeah i couldn't toast it i'm not but we could we still had real jobs then too so during the week we still had real jobs when we first got in it no you worked i didn't oh shit i had jobs then i got a job i'm like oh this sucks i had jobs where i had to get up on saturday so we'd party all night get home i'd get like i remember the one night that i fucking was in the shower i got like an hour of sleep and i was literally like in the shower sweating room out but there was also one of the best nights ever because that was a friday was that a friday that was a night that was an unexpected night and that was fucking the thing is that event now would give me a heart attack and i die just saying so but i think the thing is is as as i think for guys at least it's like we start so i keep going like this we start we start putting more pressure on ourselves so let's face here are the things that start to happen testosterone drops right so things like pills testosterone replacement the shots now become it you know when you're younger for a start it may miss if you have issues. Like, there are a lot of people that have actual ED, right? So that's a totally different thing. I mean, that's medical, right? But if you, it'd be hit and miss, but now it's not a... Naturally, as a man gets older, his testosterone drops. So does a woman. There's no miss anymore. It's a constant hit that you're going to need a hit. It's the tone that it goes down. So, and then it's amazing how being tired, like, wears you the fuck out and goes, you know, I could go home and go to bed. Or we could, you know, try to drink more and fuck, well, we'll see you next week. It's just the reality of it.
Speaker3: I mean,
Speaker1: I don't think, I'm trying to think today, we fucked and I didn't get a crap. And I hate bananas, by the way, so don't anybody should eat.
Speaker3: Anyway. But
Speaker1: it's pretty fucking common anymore.
Speaker2: I mean, you can take magnesium.
Speaker3: I think that's true. by the way so don't anybody says anyway but it's pretty fucking common anymore i mean you can take magnesium i take magnesium and still get a cramp but if i don't have magnesium i can't stretch without cramping up okay i'm gonna tell a little bit about our sex life just because people are used to us it is very fucking random it is very rare anymore this is a reality it's because we're willing to admit shit, right? It is very fucking it is very rare anymore this is a reality just cause we're willing to admit shit right it is very rare anymore where us fucking ends with both of us coming like in intercourse like a cream pie that's very very rare anymore most of the time our sex ends up and we may fuck for a while and then usually by the end of either the reality is i'm having to fucking finish it by hand it's just it's me it's i can't help it you know and part of the time if you had cramps or whatever had a cr a cramp, but I'm down. So it's like I'm gasping for wind.
Speaker1: So it's that way. And you're starting to dry out and you're finishing with a dildo. It's become the new vibrator. It's become a new norm. And it's not about a choice necessarily. Can you read? I'm going to sneeze.
Speaker3: How loud, bitch? How loud? You fucking... Oh, God. What the fuck? Never in a million years did I ever have issues, if you asked me 10 years ago. I probably missed the beginning of that, because that really didn't make a whole lot of sense. Never in a million years Did I think I'd have issues If you asked me ten years ago Yep Halloween party was Drinking Friday night Stayed up Oh thank you Stayed up late Slept through breakfast in the morning Took a nap late afternoon so I could stay up for Saturday night no shame in resting when you need to absolutely you look funny oh hey I do that looks and with that we'll give you cookies and a pat on the bed goodnight sweetie thank grandma it's oh the reason though it needs to about, quite honestly, is that it's kind of like that – it's hard to admit that, right? Sometimes it's hard to admit getting old because – or older. Because ultimately, kind of your adventure and lifestyle changes a little bit let's give another example so when when we're exotic for example and you're shooting i get tested too so we could actually have sex whatever afterwards or whatever but we're shooting whether i'm just shooting it or you're fucking or both or whatever we're doing it there a time when we first got on the lifestyle when we went to bed at night we would have fucked we don't, that conversation doesn't even happen and no, it's not like either one of us is pissed or angry, it's just like alright, I'm I'm tired. Yeah, it's like night, love you, see you.
Speaker1: I mean, it's just the reality of it. And I think, to me, I think, like, for couples and stuff, this can be a problem. Because part of it is having to be able to admit, as you get older, shit changes. So, okay. So. I don't know what it is. I always tell all this shit about me, and I don't know. I don't want to fucking have you say shit if you don't want to say shit about you or not. I don't care. Okay, so. Say shit about me. Well, no, I'm just, I'm trying to respect your fucking privacy, clunt.'m not just kidding wow no so there are times now because here's the other thing that i think people young people listening to this get ready this is gonna hit you someday too it's not just guy's shit that doesn't work right all the time oh hell no there are times now we're older we fuck and i'll be like i'm just going away grunting and moaning making all kinds of ways sound like fucking sound like fucking sim bugs and also i love you and you're like and and god love you because you're like you're like uh you're being involved, and you can tell it, you're trying to be involved for me. I mean, let's face it, you're not faking, you're like, ah, or some stupid shit, but you're like, you're not just laying there like, and I'm playing on my phone you still going or anything like that but I mean but you after 32 years I can look and go is this doing anything for you and we're luckily we're at a point in our relationship where we can go no and usually I have a conversation no but I mean you can keep going it's fine or you know I mean it but i mean well it does feel good it doesn't mean it's going to get me off right i think we all have our moments and it's all hormone fluctuations and whatnot that it does nothing for you and the thing is it's not a bad thing it just doesn't, well, you know, if he really wants it, you know, we'll just kind of go along with it.
Speaker2: And it's like, okay, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker4: Hey, fatty, get off me.
Speaker1: You're crushing me.
Speaker2: Never said that. Well, one time, but you were really drunk and you flopped on me and I'm like, get the fuck off. That was a long time ago. That was one of those drunk party all night.
Speaker1: But you've thought it a couple times. Stay in a hotel. I guarantee you've thought it. Just like I don't call you a cum dumpster when you're there, you don't like it. Doesn't mean I have in my mind cum slut, cum dumpster. I just don't sit. I was like, are we done yet? Are we done yet? Come on. Hurry up. Get down there. It's just. Now I'd rather just toggle. There's times it it's like just let me toggle your nuts and you jack on here you go come here talk to her and I'll talk to her and you and toggle your nutsack but here's what's funny the other part of that whole thing is shit I laugh anymore okay because we started especially shooting certain late shoot porn whatever i take a fucking pill that's designed so to help help my prostate so i can pee better at night but the side effect is you don't care you come inside not outside so it's like it goes back ah it's just like ta-da ta-da the thing is is that it's just like, ta-da, ta-da. The thing is, is that it's, oh, when I was younger and you would use a vibrator after we had sex. It would drive me insane. It was just like, because I would let it get on my head. That's like, well, what the fuck? It's like, no, this feels different. It feels better. No, it doesn't feel better. It feels different. And I want to get off that way, too, along with. I just want to get off really light once so I can maybe go twice. But by the time I finally come or attempt to come. You used to. I used to. Now by the time I do that, my arm hurts. I'm just tired. I just rather fall asleep. Hey, Papa. I just fucking. Every time I'll be like, don't stop. Whatever you do, when I come. How many years have you heard this? When I come like don't stop whatever you do when I come how many years have you heard this when I come don't stop and then I come and I'm like alright I'm not going to go a second time I mean in my mind I have dreams of grandeur
Speaker2: but there was one time I was at the doctor and I'm like it's just not getting wet and he's just like well you know are you stressed that can cause it
Speaker1: no stress here
Speaker3: Here we go. I'm like, it's just not getting wet. And he's just like, well, you know, are you stressed?
Speaker2: That can cause it.
Speaker1: No stress here.
Speaker2: Oh, that's a little stressful at home.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker2: Well, you know, if there's, you know, is there issues between you and Cole?
Speaker1: There sure is.
Speaker3: Sometimes.
Speaker2: Well, you know, that can cause it too. It's just not going to turn you on.
Speaker1: What the fuck are we having? We ever having issues. Because we're this perfect, happy little thing. We are. Except when she's being a bitch. Just saying. But he said all that plays into a role. It's all because I hate his facial hair. If you'd play your cards right you could have a snack in my beard when i fuck you could reach up and like how you could start off ahead of time if you did it right when i was still asleep you could stuff m&ms in my beard and we'd be like oh an m&m oh an m&m that is so gross you know what i've got to find a girl that wants to do that because I will stuff M&M's in. Would you like to eat M&M's while you're fucking?
Speaker3: Let us know and I'll stuff some of my beard. This would be awesome. That is so gross. Why? Because it's just gross.
Speaker1: What?
Speaker3: You put dicks in your mouth and pussies in your mouth and M&M's out of a beard is fucking gross?
Speaker1: Are you shitting me? Seriously?
Speaker2: Of all the shit that we do in the lifestyle, I have watched you use a dildo and go,
Speaker3: and we're put away. And that's okay. I don't put it away like that, but sure. Well, whatever. That's okay.
Speaker1: But a fucking Eminem. Oh, no. There's a big difference. I pee out of my my dick i don't pee out of my beard just oh my god that's funny as hell that is that's just she likes skittles so that'd be either skittles just saying so then does this bother you just because i can put my beard in my mouth. Ooh, now it's damp. It's moist. Think of it this way. We both used to have full bush. How much difference is taking an M&M out of my beard as to trying to find my dick in a big fucking thing of pubes? Big difference. Yeah, there was no fucking chocolatey treat at the end of that, just a dick. Alright, well fine. It didn't mean I, like, touched the hair. I guarantee that if a Skittle accidentally falls out in the heat of the moment, you'll be like, oh, Skittle. You never noticed if a guy had hair, I'd put my hand down at the base of his dick so his hair didn't get in my face. That's because you don't like to be tickled. If you liked to have been tickled, you'd have been like, just saying. This has so nothing to do with being old. It's because you're fucking getting squirrel. It kind of is because I'm old and so now I have this old man beard. So it's different. Because you choose to have it. Look, there's a lot of people that want to fuck Santa Claus and it'd be sexy that Santa had cookie crumbs in his beard. It would be like the part. No. I didn't say old cookie crumbs. I'm just you know fresh cookie crumbs. Anyways. That's likely to be soggy what? He didn't dump his milk. I don't dip my beard in the milk. I deserve that. Well, then think about that the next time you want me to eat you out. If you think milk in my beard might be gross, imagine what pussy juice did in my beard about two hours later is like. well, that's why that ringlet tastes like that. Just saying. Anyways. God. Oh, my God. I had such a good show plan that was so mature, and we're going to stay on top of it. You still have a half hour to recoup. Hey, here's a chance. Do a midway plug. We haven't done that for a while. Go. You go for it. No, you do it this time. I don't talk, remember? M&M's. The chocolate cheese and mouth in your mouth, not your hand. No, I'm kidding. I'm sorry that was... I don't know. Mouth in your mouth, not your beard. Wow. He's in a different world today. All right. okay so if you just do something about hey in case y'all haven't heard we have an event in three weeks who'd want to miss that after this the first part of the show no shit in kansas city City. Missouri. Two hotel two hotel fuck you. Two hotel takeover. Are you going? Do you not know anything about us three weeks fucking away? I don't know. I might. I might not. I'm pretty sure I'll be dragging. Come visit us at Crazy Winter Nights. Vendor Fair. Seminars. 8,000-foot dungeon. Crasby, crazycrasby.com. Crazycrasby.com, meet and greets, all kinds of events. It will be an absolute blast. Check it out. You will have so much fun. I promise. It's our seventh year, first year in Kansas City, and we are super stoked to be there. No, not larry don't even go there just because you shaved your beard off fucker uh okay so back to okay so and i'm using you as some examples i apologize because i look i have nothing to hide let's talk about like your shoulder for example here's how much again no seriously the the reality of it is right as we get older the part of the reason we're we're the healthy casket is so important is literally it will make a difference in a lot of areas of your life your sex life is one of them i need to do it because you know what i can tell the difference in being winded quite literally i can't fuck as good not being in shape I'll see you next time. of them I need to do it because you know what I can tell the difference in being winded quite literally I can't fuck as good not being in shape and I was no fucking like you know celebrity at it to begin with but I'm not happy with my performance being out of shape you're one that you don't like to be like sweated all over anyway but that so because of our years together i'm pretty conscious of that right but i'm conscious of that i'm conscious of the fact that that i feel i don't feel as good about myself naked which means i don't have as much confidence when I'm in a situation to hook up, that honestly, it would be harder. I can say with complete honesty, it would be harder for me to hook up in a group sex situation because of how I feel about my current health status, health or looks so like when uh mr l meet and savory center flower and yourself and the other people did the did the scene and i was just videotaping and and honestly if i would have said and thought about the concept of joining in it actually would have caused me anxiety because I don't feel like i'm not as happy with health-wise where i'm at so that my performance could be you know quality so that's part of why we do that but i use like your shoulder you know you it looked like when you tried to be 11 years old again and fell on your ass in roller skates that you fucked up your shoulder a little bit. Enough so that, you know, there was a chance we were looking at rotator cuff surgery. Nothing sexier than a chick like this. Just saying. Or like this for, like, the first so many weeks. But, I mean, that's the reality of getting older. There's nothing sexier than when I have to pull off my fucking, my, what do you call those fucking socks? These fucking compression socks. Pretty fucking sexy.
Speaker2: No one knows their compression socks unless you say something. Good grief.
Speaker1: How many men do you know have socks that go up to their knees currently?
Speaker2: You wear boots.
Speaker1: Well, yeah. People that wear boots wear long socks. That's what it is. They're not compression socks but I actually haven't matched it anymore. It's just one of those things. But I know what they are. So for me I can it affects me. Okay. You know. Yeah. So it's just – and I think that it's very common in the lifestyle. Well, everybody's self-conscious on the way they look. The majority of people are self-conscious on how they look. I think it's more as they get older. Let's face it. No, but okay lot of the under no i was insecure as fuck when we started right but a lot of the under 30 crowd some of them that that is is is like you know a lot of silicone in the process are pretty common they're hard bodies still they haven't you know they don't know what it is to like look at a piece of cake and be like, man, there's a new fucking weird spot. They don't have dick bumpers because they're fucking 50 and everything's fucking flabby. They just don't. Okay. For those of you, if you don't know what a dick bumper is, he created this word of dick bumper. He goes, I have dick bumpers. What it is, it's a layer. I just saw it. It's fat deposits on your inner thighs that your dick will bounce off of it. Because when I was in the car business wearing cowboy boots, my legs have always, no matter how big I've been, my legs have always been super muscular. Because I'm walking around in high heels and cowboy boots for years and years running around. So, like, my calves are, like, stupid fucking muscular and shit. My entire life, even at 50 pounds, had dick bumpers. But I don't have a dick, so what would that be? Right, a clit slapper. So, the thing is, is that as I, when I got out of the car business or when I went into the finance office, i wasn't out on the lot anymore literally i have like the it's like a flying squirrel that but has these little fat boxes so i kind of look like they look like a orangutan you know orangutan's face is like their face and their cheeks are like that's what it looks like and so to me i'm like super paranoid that some girl is going to like, if she goes to give me a blowjob, she's going to grab my dick bumpers to hold me. No one's looking at your fucking thighs. Well, there's not a lot of places. They're looking at a dick. If it's in their mouth, it's kind of right there in their, here, turn towards me. Oh my God. Turn towards me. We're not going to go through this. They're right there slapping you around no they're not just just you know why don't you read some i'm gonna quit talking um well you have some that um i don't like my weight so there's that um there's no um you're not alone. Um, and some biggest insecurities are teeth showing the way your teeth are. Um, I've had four major surgeries. Occasionally the injury stops the fun right then and there for me, a wrong movement can definitely ruin the moment. And I can believe that, um, we're also insecure about something, which is what I've said. Yeah, no, it's very true. But I think that it's just a topic that the lifestyle. I always thought I had a gigantic ass. Now, I did for a while have a gigantic ass, but everybody freaking loved it, and it was the part of my body I hated the most. No, here's the thing. perfect bubble button yeah it's flat you know it's not your ass is fine but you had a bubble butt girls now you see see young girls now that are getting implants to try to make their ass look like what yours just in natural shape of yours true the funny The funny thing is, is that as this is the part of the lifestyle,
Speaker3: like so many other issues in the lifestyle, when the truth comes out, if you actually boil them down, have more things to do with self-esteem,
Speaker1: what we like, what we don't like, things that are happening to us as we're're getting older things that are out of our control it's just not talked about it's like well why is my sex drive down well maybe it's your testosterone maybe it's your maybe for me if my testosterone super low and my estrogen was super high or maybe it's you're getting older you know i mean whatever it effect, you know, you can't party like the rock star that you thought you were or doing like you were when you were younger, and so mentally, it becomes a mind fuck for you, you know, and what happens is if you try to take someone who's tried before, okay, just fucking saying, is that if you try to recapture, like, how you partied and how you did things when you were younger, what happens is you probably should be in the hospital having your stomach pumped.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: I mean, literally, because that's the problem is that you can't go back. I can't go back to turn 40 years old and and doing what we did i wish i could i can drop 70 pounds i can get incredible shape but you know it's like getting a car it's like repainting a car and re-pulstering the seats
Speaker2: everything it's still an x-year-old car it's the same thing with a person so the problem is is when you go why i can still do that Thanks for fucking chak-barrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarrarr it's horrible so that's you know okay so brian said if we it would be great if we lived in a perfect world where we all loved ourselves for who we are and others loved us the same instead of so much hate that brings the insecurities to a head. I don't know if it's that or you see somebody else and you go, oh, my gosh, I wish I looked like that.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: Or when you first start off and you go, wow, she's hot. And you go, I don't look anything like that.
Speaker1: See, what's.
Speaker2: I mean, past that now. But initially, when you got into it, you're like, OK okay so you like blondes and you want me to go red see this is what's interesting this is what's interesting to me and i i have a feeling a lot of guys would agree with me on this when we first got into the lifestyle if a girl came in and she was fucking banging ass hot, just smoking hot, obviously I'm like, I'm seeing that shit immediately. And you and every other wife was like, go fucking like that bitch, because she's fucking... Every fucking woman would just get like fucking instantly jealous, pissy, fucking whatever. Every fucking time, without exception. If if they did anything it was like see as we've gotten older and super sexy is that for you and a lot of women i've noticed you quit worrying about fucking that shit i don't know which you go yeah and if you think If you think that that you got a chance for that go get him tiger she'll shoot your fucking ass i don't know if that's what it is but that that same scenario you're not that bitch walks in and you go go fuck her if you think he can i mean you don't say that i mean but i think in your mind looks like i'm going come slut come dumpster you're going yeah go get her fucking dopey. Okay, so let's put you in your place a little bit. And I'm not being derogatory. When we first started, and you think all these women have hatred towards other women because guys are staring at them. No, that's not what it is. They wish they were getting that attention. Like the one person that walks in the room that everybody's just oogling over and their jaws drooling all over themselves, whatever the case may be. It isn't that we have hatred and what a bitch and oh my God, I can't believe. No, we're wishing we were getting that attention. Right. So don't think that we're some angry batch of women. Because the difference is you take that anger out on your husbands and your boyfriends.
Speaker1: And what you're actually pissed about is if we're all swingers, you shouldn't be pissed at your husband who's interested in fucking somebody else that walks in the hot. Because that's what we're there to do. You should then turn around and be pissed off at all the other guys and go, fuck you all you're not giving me the attention i wish i had who said we were pissed off you should share your feelings of lack of of of lack of attention not with your husband or boyfriend because here's the deal you didn't turn and we have people listen that we're friends with then too you didn't turn to the one of the other our friends one of the other guys and go you know i would love to get that attention that'd be great no that's not who you turn to to say that to and their wives didn't either because i'm not going to vocalize my feelings to some random dude but what happens is sweetie is that when you turn to me and say it and then and then husband, we're like, oh. And so because we're big, dumb animals and fully willing to admit that because we are, it appears in our little pea brains that you're mad and angry with us. And so then we're like, I guarantee you, I don't know if any other guys will actually have balls enough to agree with me on this if their wives are sitting close to them but the reality is then we feel like we're in trouble because we're looking at the hot girl that walks in just because i love i was i was one of the first ones to go, look at that one. Sometimes. Yeah. No, you were. Wow. So I was an absolute cunt, apparently. No, I never said that. Sometimes, but sometimes you would, and I understand you're exactly right, feeling like not getting attention. I totally understand that. But there were times that, because yes, I like, I have a thing for blondes, and I have a thing for tall girls. Long legs. I do have a thing. So why marry a person that's under five feet tall with dark hair? Because the reason we're in that lifestyle is we're not trying to find a carbon copy of the person that's most important to us in our lives we love more than any of the world to fuck it's like i like hamburgers and cheeseburgers and you know what when i try when i eat something different i'm not trying to find something just like i'm trying to find something different for just that one meal it's that's the thing it's like you know what i don't want some bitch that's telling me get out of your fucking giraffe i don't know what you want me to say but it's like i like blondes too but i still had a variety look just because you settled for other pieces of me at the time too that's you i'm just saying but i never got pissed when you if you like there's a dude that looks italian and it's got the fucking dark scruff that i could never grow and the jet black hair i wasn't like fucking okay that's my style what i'm just smack in the table i'm just saying you know whatever it's like i was never like that i never had that well that's of course what you like in return though there was times where i got that well of course you'd like her because she's six foot tall because her legs are taller than i am yeah i do i do you know what i love you no matter what you do you were never a nurse i still have a nurse fucking fetish and one time i said you know i should become a nurse and this was after like maybe like two years ago i said you know what i should become a nurse no you're not i never have told you no you can't do anything i have never like you are not going to become a nurse okay i have never really not that's it you don't need to put yourself in that yes i'm sorry because who was here when you got fucking stuck as a dental assistant when you got poked and and by fucking somebody that had shit that we're having to go get hepatitis shots and all kinds of shit no all i did was get tested for because you got fucking stuck and he didn't have anything but that's beside the point don't bring that up yeah i got i ever told you like, here, that career choice is wrong. Take your shoes off and get pregnant, bitch. I mean, that's not who I am. I've never said anything. No, I'm saying that I've never done that. Nowadays, as an older woman, you oogle a young'un, and I go. Because I don't stand as... Go for it. You have to retrain all over again. Because you know, A, I don't stand as snowball stands in hell. B, you know, I don't have the money to fucking, any way vaguely to afford it if they did say yes anyways. You know what? My heart's not healthy for that, and you know it. I mean, that's, you know, look, if the opportunity came up to bang a 22-year-old, I am so fucking in. And you know what? Part of the reason I'd be in, because I don't give two fucks if she gets off or not at that point in time. It's going to be the best two and a half minutes of my fucking life. Other than that, you want to know the highlight of that it's going to be? Walking out of the fucking hotel room, whether or walking to or going to get in the clothing. Thanks, Daddy. No shit. No shit. Call me Daddy, I'm in. It's, I mean, you know, it's just, it is what it is. It's just, the point where this totally went off the rails again is that it's sexy because it appears it appears and again big dumb animal guy so we're probably wrong that as a lot of the women that we have known in the last show you included your confidence it it doesn't the young girl coming and getting all that attention, for whatever the reason might be, no longer has the same effect that it did. Because we're older and wiser. I think it's because you just don't give a fuck. You know that they're not going to stick with you long enough anyways. Even if they did, if you dumped me for that, fuck you. They'll be disappointed when they see your bank account just saying i mean you know i yeah i just it's just interesting see there's still a level of pissiness with it no it's because it's because men and women think nothing alike and you go based upon this assumption of what our reaction was when that wasn't our reaction. You sure that my reaction wasn't fucking hormonal? I have not answered that fucking question. You have lost your fucking mind if you think I'm going to answer that fucking question. I mean, my God, back then I had a period. I could have been hormonal and bitchy as fuck. Maybe I didn't want to go out that night. I don't know. What? You were ever bitchy or hormonal? Oh, fuck you. I have no idea what you're talking about. Right. Just say it. Right. I don't. Look, I'm not going down that fucking rabbit hole. Look, I was more up when you were in menopause to go, have you taken a fucking mito or something? I was much more up to call you out for being. need a bitchy pill bitchy pill because by then i didn't give a fuck either before a hysterectomy you're like do you need a bitchy pill probably that's because we'd reached that point in our life where i was like i'm not afraid to say you're being a cunt okay and and you it's kind of like you always tell me if i'm wearing something stupid don't let me go out in public tell me well i didn't want you to go out in public and just being a complete and credible cunt so i'd be like hey would you like a bitchy bill just stay home today just just fucking say just yeah just you know bless you the the squared why do you have to wait and have it be all noisy you want me to cover your square fucker i didn't fuck her yeah you did no i didn't maybe so the thing is the point that i'm trying to make with all with all of the you might have been but the reality of it is cube now knocking the fuck off no more so the reality of it is is that it's just that it has changed great you got rid of your uterus you're no longer bitchy you've never been bitchy since and i feel blessed and hope that every guy gets to experience what i do. That's such a fucking lie. It's not. No. Look, the amount of days that you're bitchy is probably less than later now, so it works out. This is like a story problem. How many apples are on the train from Detroit if she leaves now and she's kind of a bitch? No, it's, you know, it's okay. It's all good. Good lord. We all hate that people have...
Speaker2: Thank you. No, it's, you know, it's okay. It's all good. Good Lord. We all hate that people have uteruses. Just saying. I hate how I had a uterus. There was times, I'm not going to lie, that I was probably going, I wish when you were just yanking it out, and you go, oh, you might want to have other kids. No, she's not going to. Send her to your house. Should have sent you over to his his house. Why Amanda? Why are you here? I don't know. My husband said I need to come over here. I got kicked out because I still have my odors. It's just saying, well. But I got it taken out and I still had my ovaries. So it still made me moody anyway. Up until menopause. Maybe. What? I didn't even notice You're such a fucking liar Are they acting up now? Occasionally Poke Let me poke at your one testicle And tell you me about it My testicle doesn't make me bitchy What make a bad? That. Oh, that's just the rest of it. That's the estrogen. Ironically enough, it's the oversupply of estrogen in my body. So when he has to start taking his estrogen blockers, he goes through menopause. Oh, it's fucking awesome. I hate hot flashes. Literally. He has all the symptoms. Hot flashes. I don't have hot flashes. I've never had hot flashes. No. Well, I had them for like a period of like three weeks and that was it. I have them. It's awesome. And he gets hot flashes. I don't have hot flashes. I've never had hot flashes. I had them for a period of three weeks, and that was it. I have them. It's awesome. He gets hot flashes. He gets moody and irritable. 290 fucking one pounds of fucking sweating like a stuck pig. It's like, oh my god, it's so hot. Black co-host of course. Where's the might all? Okay. Well, I don't know if this show helped me, but the plan was it was supposed to. We covered unique stuff. I just have such good ideas with these fuckers. Men do have one. I agree. She said, I think men have a monthly. And I'm like, I think they do. They have hormone fluctuations just like we do. We do. Ironically enough, they tend to be on the same cycle as our wives. I'll be damned. Who knew? Larry, I am not reading that out loud. All right, no fucking one. Larry can. No, you can. You can read his comment. I'm not.. No, I'm not getting involved in that. Nope. Nope. Just saying. Sometimes we think you should be able to read our minds, though, because, well, you've been around us for so long, you should know what we like and stuff, you know. But, yeah. For the sex that has all the answers, you sure as fuck hasn't figured out how to read ours yet. for us being the simpler sex
Speaker1: you guys sure as fuck have not figured out how to get into ours yet. Ours is pretty fucking simple. That is a lie. The fuck it is. It's not that hard. According to you guys, we're big dumb animals. It's not hard hard at all Courtney hates it when I call her my little
Speaker2: ketchup packet why do you call her a ketchup packet
Speaker1: that's fucking funny
Speaker2: oh my god
Speaker1: that's fucking funny shit that should be a t-shirt just saying wow wow anyways that's a great one I don't know. Wow. Wow. Anyways. That's a great way to end the show. I'll agree with her on that one, though. That's a great way to end the show. There you go. All right. Well, this was a great time. Fun was had by all. Didn't learn a fucking thing. We're getting old. We're getting old. Luckily, we won't remember the show tomorrow. So, again, to our sponsors, ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. Start checking it out. Just saying. MotorBunny.com. This show brought to you by lack of air and this man in your yawns. SmokinMeetsBBQTreats.com and BasisDX. Don't forget about Crazy Winter Nights. Seriously, there's still tickets available. We have a few rooms left. It's going to be a great time. Come help us celebrate our seventh year in Kansas City as we take them in and our new home in KC with Crazy Winter Nights. We're very excited for the first of what
Speaker2: proves to be many, many years of awesome KWNs. What do you think? Mm-hmm. That's the story we're sticking with. Anyways, so with that being said, kids. Oh, you know what? The other thing. Don't forget to check out MissAmanda.net. You can get her calendar. You can go see a lot of her vids and all kinds of shit on there. Oh, speaking of vids, I'll put a plug. Okay. If any of y'all are on mini-vids, go to Miss Amanda Casbah and vote for me before February 14th. There you go. There's like, if you go to my page, there's like a little thing that says vote. And it's for the February 14th Valentine something. And it's free. But they're like giving away money. So I want to win they can sign up for many vids for free i do believe you can sign up so it won't cost you anything so please voting for me doesn't cost anything but i make money if i get if you get so high up so yeah help her out thank you i'm glad you remember that because they're like giving away like ten thousand dollars in prizes or some shit. I want some money. No shit. More money. Not for me. Can we get a dollar sign tattooed on your cooter if you win $10,000? Maybe. Where on my cooter? Where? I don't know. Wait a minute. Are you going to go get the Lucky Charms tattoo? Seriously. I can't. Doesn't faze me much. Okay. I'm going to get it. Because I got to get swing therapy. So you're going to get a Lucky Charms tattoo to bite your pussy. I mean, that wasn't the first thing I was thinking of when it came to ink. Well, you know, sometimes you got to do stuff for other people. What were you thinking of the first thing? What do you want? Dick? Penis? Cold aid here? Arrow? No, it had nothing to do with my crotch area, but thanks. USDA prime choice on your butt? No. Well, what did you want? Like flowers or some shit. Yeah, stick with Lucky Charms things. If you think she should have her pussy tattooed, vote yes. Not her pussy tattooed, but, like, just buy. Anyways, that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how,
Speaker1: the only way I want to, and the only way I ever will. Kazma Style, out.
Speaker3: Bye.