Krazy Truth about Swinging #296 The big announcement

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition and an exciting edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. For those of you following follow along at home, if you're not, you should be. You've got some makeup to do. This is Season 7, Episode 296. We are screaming towards 300 like a boss. And we get made fun of for counting. And we get made fun of for counting. But you know why? Because we know how to count. Pineapples make fun of us counting. Because we know how to count. That's what it is. Haters only hate because they can't do what we can do. One. That's going to be two. Anyways. So. Wow. Quick, first, before we get started. Before we get started, I'll never hear the end of that shit. Actually, what I'm going to do is give a shit because here's the weird. Remember we were laughing about one of the pineapples posts today? Our world consists of, eh, we should just lay around, in your case, do nothing. There it consists of taking the kid to kindergarten. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, have fun with that. Congratulations. Glad it's not us. Been there, done that. Okay. So, anywho, sponsors, we got them. Yep. Shout out to Motorbunny. Make your clit or cooter the happy. Motorbunny.com. You can go and get $50 off at the first Motor Bunny when you see one. You can get the original or the new buck. It'll beat your clit into a happy submission. Want to see more? Go to CASBA on Pornhub and watch Amanda's clit get beat. Also, ASN Lifestyle Magazine. That's right. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world or the swinging world, where do you turn? Where? ASN Lifestyle Magazine, 3 million readers can't be wrong. Check it out. Make it a habit. And don't forget, kids, guess what? We have made the top five in two categories for best trade show, expo, convention. Go to crazy winter nights. Vote for us every day in April. And also Best Adult Takeover. Help us bring home more of the hardware that's like behind me because it's where it should be with us with Crazy Winter Nights. And finally... What's the website they go to? ASNLivestileMagazineAwards.com once a day. No, Awards.com or just... Awards.com. Every single day, vote. Tell your friends to vote. Have your friends that you don't know vote. Anybody you know, vote. Are you voting yet? Anywho, make sure you do that for us. We really appreciate it. KWN, we're going to bring home the gold because that's what we do. We own that shit. Yeah. Anyways, so also, hey, would you like to put some meat in your mouth? Would you? She wouldn't, but she might someday. You know want to make her put meat hurt in her mouth a meat rub that's right a quality meat rub so get your quality meat rubs at smoking meats barbecue treats.com let me spell it for you shall i s-m-o-k-i-n-m-e-a-t-s b-b-q-t- Smokin' Meats, B-B-Q-Treats.com. Get your favorite flavor, Hickory Dust, Lemon Pepper, SBG, Orange Mango, Habanero, Pineapple Paradise, Sinecune, and coming soon, your very only special Casbah Special Blend. Pause. You cheated because I'm watching that and you keep looking up at you it's not like you knew it by hand even though you said it 15 million times but you kept you know why they're a lifetime sponsor okay great but you kept i haven't memorized their shit yet but they're a lifetime sponsor but i like i like me no i haven't i spell horribly but i love their meat rubs It's okay Just saying I don't like blah meat
Speaker2: I don't either
Speaker1: I want their meat rubs. Okay. Just saying. I don't like blah meat. I don't either. I want spicy meat. I want orange mango habanero meat. That's what I want. Nothing says meat like a little bit of SBG in your mouth. Just saying. I will make sure I get out the... SBG and spread it on my cock. Orange mango habanero. Let's see how that feels. I will lick it right off your clit. If you've got balls enough to put it on your clit, I will lick... Well, if you have balls enough, now it won't have a clit. Shit's going to get weird. But trust me on this, we'll figure it out. Just saying. Right now, this is the part of the show where I get criticized. Cole gets off the rails. Cole doesn't talk about shit. This is for why. I was talking about her clit again. Yeah, it is what it is. An exciting fucking announcement. So, Michael's not on you. Michael, don't give his ass on to listen to the show. So, here's the deal, kids, ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, probably 19 and plus. Anywho, you know we do this little thing every year, a little get-together, a gathering of sorts, a group of like-minded people getting together to celebrate one another and all things fun and good. Possibly holy, but not really. Anywho, we do this little thing, and it's called Crazy Winter Nights. Shall I say it again? Okay, Crazy Winter Nights. Now, the thing with Crazy Winter Nights is we used to have them in the deep, dark days of winter.
Speaker3: January.
Speaker1: In the cold and blissfully fucking blah state of Nebraska. But no more, that's right, KC-bound kids. And tonight we are making the announcement. Everybody knew we were going to KC. You can say stuff so so it doesn't sound like I'm just talking nonstop. Okay, feel free to jump in there. No, you've got this energy that you have to realize. I have no idea what you're talking about. Right. I'll get to run around the yard in a few minutes. Anyways, so the thing is, everybody knew we were in KC. What? Just don't bark. Can't hear you. Thanks, We'll be here all day. That's seven shots if you're doing the drinking game. So the thing is, is that it is, we're in Kansas City. Everybody knows that. But what we hadn't said is when, where, and all that, right? Well, guess what, kids? The wait is motherfucking over. That's right. You thought we were dead. You thought we were buried. You thought we were gone. Fuck you. We're back, bitches. We are going to be in Kansas City, February. Get your calendars out. I'll pause a second. You're such a dick. Get your calendars out Here we go February 21st Through the 23rd Crazy Winter Nights 2025 Kansas City, Missouri That is correct Now you're probably going Holy fuck Cole Are you shitting me? Wow As well you should And. And you're going, but Cole, it's in Kansas City.
Speaker3: Will it be worth it?
Speaker1: Should we go?
Speaker3: Should we? Huh. Guess what?
Speaker1: 24,000 square feet of ballroom space. 1,000 of your closest friends from around the country.
Speaker2: Vendor fair.
Speaker1: Seminars. We already have seven seminars set up. vendor fair, but wait, but wait, there's more. How much would you pay for all of this for one weekend, Miss Amanda? $75? $80? $110 a person? Well, you sure could. Well, it'd be well worth it, but you don't have to because we're doing it because we love you first year in kansas city kansas city bound ticket prices have not went up ticket prices are the same it's 50 a person for the entire weekend for all the events going on now here's the really cool thing we're working on some other really big parts of crazy winter nights that could very well it's gonna include some serious BDSM activities. Do you remember that one year we had a dungeon? Just saying. As well as some of the top class world experts, quite literally world experts to come in and teach seminars on a wide range of topics. We will have obviously again, Dance Friday Night, we'll have Dance Saturday night which is obviously the black tie optional gala we'll have our awards uh we are so incredibly excited now you can go online and get tickets tickets are now available 50 a person january February 21st through the 23rd. The Host Hotel, this is an important note. The Host Hotel, there's 150 rooms in the Host Hotel. There's 200 rooms in the Spillover Hotel, the secondary hotel. When the Host Hotel rooms are gone, they are gone. We do this year, we've done a couple of different things. It is a two-night minimum. You have to get Friday and Saturday night if you're going to be in the host hotel. And that's to make sure to people that want to be there, obviously. Folks that are listening to this, you have an advantage because it's going to be released nationally in the coming days. So you have an advantage to go there. You're going, what hotel is it? I'm not telling you what hotel it is. Once you buy tickets, you'll be given, sent an email on how to get hotel rooms. I will tell you this. Cost of hotel rooms. Everybody's going, oh, fuck, but it's Kansas City. This is going to cost a fortune. How much would you pay for a hotel room in Kansas City this weekend? My best. A hotel room in Kansas City at this hotel this weekend is, it is actually $199 a night. But this is crazy winter nights, and I'm cold. So there is a huge difference. Hotel rooms will run between $149 a night plus tax, and the suites will be $189 a night plus tax. So they have given us a discount, which we are excited and happy to pass along to you as well. The secondary hotel, the rates will be very similar to that as well. So the hotel room, you will get all of your hotel rooms will be bought through us, as well as the tickets. You have to buy tickets first. But once that first, those 150 rooms of the host hotel are gone they're gone the spillover hotel just so you know is about a mile away so it's very close it's a part of kansas city that has tons of food tons of shopping it's a beautiful section a very safe section kansas city a heated indoor outdoor pool they keep degrees year-round. It felt wonderful when I put my feet in. So the outside is actually open also? We will have a pool party?
Speaker2: The part that goes outside isn't huge, but with it being heated in the pool, it would be awesome to go out there.
Speaker1: It has a pretty waterfall.
Speaker2: It's a really nice hotel.
Speaker1: We will have a pool party. We will have some food for Friday night and also Saturday. We haven't worked on all the details yet. No, but we know we're having that. There are some rooms that there are a few hot tub rooms, and the hot tubs are big, big enough. They're not like, it's not like a hose in a little tub. The showers are awesome. awesome we are yeah get your cameras ready kids there there are very picture worthy there there is absolutely this is going to be a great time and i've got to tell you we are i know i'm over the top excited but i legitimately is we have we have worked a lot of years to get to this point i want to give a shout out right now right off the bat to some of the people that we are already working with uh the the uh juicy debauchery those guys have done a ton of work for us and are are partnered up we are working with all the groups in kansas city and around because this is something that we we want to we're about supporting the other groups down there in kansas city and um it's gonna be over the top this is gonna be the hotel is so nice that i think anytime we go stay in kansas city we go stay there we'll stay there plus they have a presidential suite with a pool table yeah so that's the one i want but i wouldn't have time during crazy winter nights but no but the ballroom again it it's it's gonna the host hotel will sell very, very quickly, and quite honestly, if once it spills But the ballroom, again, the host hotel will sell very, very quickly. And quite honestly, once a spillover hotel fills, there's a second spillover hotel right next to it as well. So, I mean, there's a lot of – everything is very, very close. So we're going to be able to have all 1,000 people now. I'm going to be completely upfront and honest with everybody here. We are going to Exotica next week, which we are going to be unleashing. This is Exotica, so if you're interested in being a vendor, let us know, because these spots are going to fill quickly as well. Folks, this is going to be a hard cutoff at 1,000. So when we hit 1,000 tickets sold, we're cut off. So there will be, that's max. So please don't put it around you go to crazy casbah.com you can get the tickets you can see right now we are 322 days away from crazy winter nights and i'm so fucking excited i can't see straight uh so make sure you check it out this is gonna be a ton of fun let us know if you have questions uh we'll go from there so that was that's the big announcement a pretty big one and we've got more stuff coming uh look we're the the other things we're working on with this with with some of the things with the bdsm community is going to be uh this is going to be like something you ain't ever seen before so busy this is going to be this is going to be uh uh yes brenda you will be so this is going to be this is going to be over the top type stuff uh and a lot of things that we dealt with last year we won't have to deal with i mean drink prices are are we already have drink prices we know what they are they're they're correct They're the staff. And here's the other thing that's really exciting. The hotels are excited to have us. They know what our groups are, and they're super excited to have us. And they're excited in being our partners and working with us. And that always makes everything great. So we are going to – we will still be doing the casual lifestyle of the year award we still will be doing we will still be doing ernie's award as well uh those things and we're going to get to introduce a whole bunch of new people and more people to the casbah family and the casbah way so we certainly hope that you can that that you will attend, again, February 21st to the 23rd. February, not January, so you're also farther away from the holidays now. Holy shit. But once you buy your tickets, you'll get a link to the hotel. You'll get a link on how to do the hotels and everything like that. So you see what it looks like and the pictures on their website do not do it justice no way it's incredible but but again we can't stress enough we certainly hope that our friends you know we're excited for all the new people that we're going to get to meet uh but and and again we are we're doing just like we've done in the past like we did did last year. You can sign up to volunteer. We will do a volunteer ticket exchange process. So if you're interested in volunteering and being part of what is incredibly crazy magic, then let us know. And I've got to tell you, this is really funny that uh we just sold our first ticket to kwn it just came up on screen we just sold our first ticket to kwn so uh we are there you go so we are super excited uh to have everybody so we can't wait so there you go thanks for a great show everybody no. Oh, actually, I want to put that. One of the other cool things is we have, we're obviously going to have our friends, the Juicy Debauchery will be there. And we'll have our friends, the Fun Pineapples will be there. I do believe our good friend Leanne with Hustlers to Housewives will be there. And we will have our friends, Kinky Frame of Mind and Sinful Ladies will both be there. They're all going to be recording. They're going to be doing shows. I think we'll be talking to some others as well. So there's going to be opportunity. Going to be a lot of press. Again, industry press. Opportunities to get to meet a lot of people. And I think you're going to really enjoy some of the people that we will have coming in. And there will be a huge mix, not just lifestyle, but the adult side. One of the joys of our world as we've expanded is obviously Miss Amanda will be there. Honeybee will be there.
Speaker2: No, I'm going to be there.
Speaker1: And you're on a bunk bed, bitch. Honeybee will be there, and we will have several.
Speaker2: We'll get closer up with somebody.
Speaker3: There you go.
Speaker2: A bunk bed because they're smaller. Don't you remember when we were in college, we shared a twin-size bed, and we both fit on it, and we both survived.
Speaker1: But we were also. We had sex a lot. We had sex a lot to make sure. Larry, you said it right. Big step moving forward for Caswell. I have to tell you, this is a huge step. This, like, emotionally for me is, like, big. And for this all to be, like, cemented this early in the year. This is a lot of years of coming to this. And, again, a huge shout-out to Casey and to Will because for those of you who know me and know that I'm a control freak, that I learned from the last KWN, and I did good, didn't I? You did. You did very good. Those guys said they would take care of it. I stayed the fuck out of the way. And they knocked it out. Not like he didn't go a little stir crazy. It was getting close. I was nervous. But they knocked it out of the park. And so one of the things you're going to find with what we're super excited about this one is there will be more time for us to get to interact with you guys because we will have the staff that we're putting together to be able to make it so that we have more time to actually interact and function. We're to be in the middle of everything. So we can have fun and stuff. So this way, we won't have a podcast about Cole almost dying at crazy winter nights. Right. Yay. But thank you. So anyways, I know you guys will get tired of hearing about it. Don't forget, we do still have a camp out coming up in 63 days. We still have crazy Vegas nights coming up in 90 some days. Wait a minute. That's my birthday. Yeah, birthday yeah your birthday's coming fuck if you count the rings around the tree you know how how old it is for us we use crow's feet around our eyes for eyes because my more me than you have more wrinkles than i do yeah botox anyway so uh but we still have those coming up we have crazy winter crazy summer nights in j crazy summer nights in June, crazy Vegas nights, and also crazy summer nights in August. So don't forget about those because those are very important and a great time also. So we look forward to everybody being able to do as much stuff and see you guys as much. Plus, I know there is meet and greets coming up. We've got folks, Jessica's putting one on for us, and we're on Moonshinineers on Friday nights. And so we've got a lot of stuff. You can see a lot of people and we're stoked about it. I'm going to hack for a second. He needs to cough. Usually when he takes drinks, I make noises and laugh about it. Oh, 420. Is that Jessica's thing? Yep, 420. In Bellevue. In Bellevue, yep. Oh, you got another ticket sold. Oh, you blew your nose. I'm sitting next to me. You're using the video up there to see what I'm doing? Fuck me. Anyways, that's all right. Also, it dawned on me that you're blowing your ass. Yeah. So, all right. At the alley. At the alley is where the meet and greet on 420. Meet and greet? The meet and greet. What did I say? You said it funny. I'm stroking out. It's okay. I'm having my event now. I guess we're so used to calling it meet and greet that you said meet and greet. I'll work on it. I'll do better. I got to practice. I wonder how emotional i'll be during my presentation this year the first year in kc i'll be a fucking train wreck you better hold it together nope we're gonna leave you to the wolves and here's miss mayda i'll get somebody else to stand up with me wow you are getting one of the bunk beds just saying Oh, Oh, got another one. Yeah. There it goes. Yep. So that rocks. Okay, so now we probably should get on with like a show or something, I suppose. Yeah, you still have 40 minutes to go. What do you mean I? How about we? How about we? Yes, we. Wow, that is convincing as fuck.
Speaker2: Shut up. Remember? I'm blonde and slow. I'm not really
Speaker1: blonde, but I'm slow. Let's talk about work ethic. No. Let's not. Let's talk about work ethic and the lifestyle, shall we?
Speaker2: I've worked really hard today. You haven't worked
Speaker1: really hard. You know what? Miss Amanda's on a fucking roll this week of absolutely like. That's not true. Oh, here we go. This is going to be good. Let's lay it out. What's today? Thursday? On Tuesday, I baked two loaves of bread. You did, baby. Let's just say hypothetically, this has not been Miss Amanda's most productive of all weeks that she's ever had. Pretty much. But there's still tomorrow. I've done some stuff together for Exotica. And I've gone through my lingerie clothes on what I need. Have even put your daily picture out yet on i did yes i did do you not believe me no i believe you i'm just asking i hadn't seen it i didn't know i just i'm just was just curious i i don't know your copies of any of this shit that's what oh yep there was there we go see yep your vaginal look is angry there no it doesn't you did get waxed this week i do yeah she got waxed yeah monday i was busy i had a doctor's appointment at a waxing appointment so i was busy i had to sit there while they pulled my pussy hair off that fucking hurts i i i'm not doubting that it did her i guarantee that gavin it did it was angry it looked angry it looked red and mean and fucking satanic and shit actually felt bad. It's like, maybe we'll look into laser. I'm like, what if I want to grow it back someday? Yeah. That was the last time I could get to touch it. Anyway, so, yeah, no. I get to touch it this morning. You did concede and have sex this morning with me, so that worked out. That was fun. That was, you squirted three times so obviously little did i know that was going to wear out and kill her for the rest of the day so all right no you actually you actually designed a card and stuff this week oh i did do that and i also like woke up yesterday at three o'clock in the morning so i was pretty exhausted he's talking to me last night and i'm like she's sitting up and her eyes are like one eyes she's like a lizard one eyes half open now he's rolling back in the back of her head it wasn't you it's not like i go get your ass up at three and start doing your chores no i what do i tell you what do i tell you when the dogs wake you up to To get you up, the dogs didn't wake me up. I woke myself up. So now I'm really supposed to feel bad that you were up at three? You went in to take a nap. It was probably the sleep after you. You went in to take a nap today. And I turned on a movie for background noise. For background noise. I always fall asleep during movies. Not that one. Nope. Instead, she gets in. I walk in. I'm like, peek in. And she's like, wide awake, watching the movie. I didn't know if I got involved in the movie. Pick a different movie. Yeah. I was just like, okay. Oh, Beth came over and I helped her. So I did some things. You did so many things that you're having to have other people help come up with shit. This is like...
Speaker2: I cooked you dinner.
Speaker1: No, this is like when we were little kids in the summer. And your parents come up like, what the fuck did you do all day? And you and your friends are standing there and you're like... And your friends are like, we swept one thing.
Speaker4: Yeah.
Speaker3: We swept.
Speaker2: I swept the hallway. Did you even notice that?
Speaker1: I did notice that.
Speaker2: No, you didn't.
Speaker1: Yes, I did. How do you know I didn't notice it?
Speaker2: Because I've been looking shit up, like printing companies and stuff to get all that stuff ordered yesterday.
Speaker1: Like, I'm like... You have been in... You know what? My God, you deserve a vacation. I think you should do nothing tomorrow.
Speaker2: I need a vacay.
Speaker1: Oh, my fucking Lord. Yes, that is exactly it. You need a vacay. I feel like I should order out for a cocktail for you now. Your little body's on fire for working so hard. What? I just need to sleep for a couple of days. It's like lack of energy. I don't know. Well, this will be great at Exotica. The stories coming from there will be awesome. Just saying. I will be awake for that. I have that i have to well you sleep all the way out there in the car yeah because i'm one that sleeps in a car we'll just pack you in the back and leave you out there so just apparently we're selling tickets left and right the crazy one tonight it's awesome so uh anywho so yeah so any good tips on how to fucking stay awake You got people we're going to see That's right
Speaker3: Miss me So any good tips on how to fucking stay awake? We've got people we're going to see.
Speaker1: That's right.
Speaker3: Miss McChrystal is going to be there. We're going to see us at Exotica.
Speaker1: Booth 306 is where we will be.
Speaker4: Amanda will have her titties hanging out. He should go out tomorrow night.
Speaker2: I think that's the plan.
Speaker1: Yeah, you've earned it. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker3: Absolutely.
Speaker1: My body isn't tolerating pop, so that'll be fun. So water. If you put liquor in, it seems to tolerate it okay. Oh, yes. Actually, okay. Courtney makes a good point. Yes. So there was a challenge. One of the things that happened this last week was apparently. Was it a challenge? Well, sort of. There was barbs being traded back and forth, and I don't know how it happened. Needless to say, I made the thing that if we got 25 – some of the girls maintained that I should do a calendar, that I should do a calendar like you do, because you do the sexy calendar, and then there's, you know, me. And so – and I'm like – and you're sort of like, you need to do a calendar. I'm like, no. They're like, yes. I'm like, no. And they're like, yes. I'm like, no. And finally, I'm just like, if you can actually find, I don't, how many did I say, Corinne? 25. 25 people. If you got 25 pre-orders, I would do a calendar. Well, they go bouncing around the bar. They just attack the bar like fucking banshees. And they had the numbers. But my thing is, it's one thing to have 25 people say yes. It's another thing to have 25 people actually prepay for the calendar. Because I've been down this path before. I'm rolling around in the hay with my dick flopping around and fucking trying to be decorative with one nut. And then nobody wants a calendar. I have a whole bunch of them. So, if you want a calendar, a calendar's for $19.95, all money's going to go to Casbaharris. So he's already gotten requests of the bib overalls. I've got lots of girls want the sexy bib pictures. A sexy Santa picture. Uh-huh. Shannon, I was asked six times for writing that. It's a drinker, but it got the more we were getting people up. What else did you do? Sexy Santa, bib overalls, just my hat, just my hat and my boots. And boots, yes. Uh-huh, yep. So, yep, and we've got, so apparently.
Speaker2: And already a gal volunteered to be the photographer.
Speaker1: If she could get one, yep. So, do not do a nude with a baby calf. No, no, there will be no bottle feeding baby calves naked.
Speaker2: But Bob said that we could go.
Speaker1: I'm not bottle feeding a calf naked.
Speaker2: It's like, so another trip to the farm.
Speaker1: Oh, that's right, my robe and my scarves, yep, yep. And so, I mean, I'm all in on naked pictures. With the Caswell one? Yeah. Okay. And then with my scarf. We'll probably have to do one with my coat. Here's the thing. So, you know, most likely I'm going to cover my junk. Just saying. Just saying. Because, well, you know, I will. Because I'm, you know, kind of shy like that. Get the kilt. Oh, yeah. Put the kilt in. Thanks, Patrick.
Speaker3: Damn it.
Speaker1: Yeah, no, I'll have to do that. But so here's the thing. I don't think, I don't know what. These girls want to see pictures of me. It's like they said with the bibs, I have to have them down with just like it hints at my dick. Everything is just going to hint at my dick. I'm going to have to have a flopper. If anybody, if my dick's in any picture.
Speaker2: You already had a couple people volunteer, didn't you?
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: And that's just it. They have to be fluffed. Because we're not doing like, oh, look at Cole's little penis. We're not doing that. It's got to be fluffed accordingly. So, just saying. I don't think pictures of my nutsack and my dick hanging out is what girls want. I think, although most of the time in those minutes. You can show the empty one. Show the empty side. Hold like an Easter egg. There you go for Easter. The thing is, is most of those like beefcake counters, the guys aren't showing much of their topless, you know, they're shirtless. And I'm like, I will look at The muscular guys. You want to keep adding into this? No, keep going. So I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I look different than most of those guys. Besides being a little bit older, I don't think anybody's going to want to actually see me. I can't why anybody's going to going to see me shirtless. Just saying. I mean. Just go with it. Okay. Yes, dear. Yeah. I can't imagine if I want to buy mine, but. Yeah, but yours says slut. That's because when I sold them, I said that it came with a free blowjob. By the way, I've got some places you need to go to for the years out. Just say. Remember where they signed the month? That's the day you're actually supposed to show up at your house. I do a lot of those. I know. Those are the days you're supposed to show up at their house. They're like, just saying. That's when their service due date is. You'll be sore soon. Anywho. So there's that. So yeah, whatever. I don't know why.
Speaker2: It'll be fun.
Speaker1: You did give me the idea according to how to wear my bibobo. So I'm going to practice that at the store and stuff like that.
Speaker2: I have an apron for you to wear.
Speaker1: I'm not wearing a fucking apron. I'll wear a kiss the cook apron. And stand up by the grill. Bob works on his fucking dragster naked. You know, like grilling naked. I don you know.
Speaker2: Grilling naked.
Speaker1: Flipping a burger by the fire, that'd be horrible. Just what a horrible idea. Let's say it. Anyways, this is going to be a counter of how much shit can Cole put in front of his dick. That's what this is going to be.
Speaker3: No, no.
Speaker1: It'll just be conveniently located. Oh, oh look I can borrow Brian's fire gear I'm gonna say this as nice as can be wow here we go Brian's tall and skinny Is it a one size fits all Fuck you Is he not like this big Yes but we don't have to point that out Does anybody think you're this big around Well Well, they just want to see my hose. We're not getting a back picture of my nutsack dangling out. I'm 51 years old. If we do a shot of me shooting pool from behind, it'll look like I got truck nuts hanging off of a bumper. Only on one side's empty. It'll be really weird.
Speaker2: What's turnout gear? Huh? What's turnout gear? I have no idea, But if it's hot, it probably won't fit me. Just saying. That's not true. We have to find things. I didn't say it wouldn't fit. You just have to, Brian. You know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to put a fire extinguisher in front of my cock. You could do that, too. Hold up the hose. See who wants to come. No, that's not the hose I want to hose up. Oh, fire gear is called turnout gear. I want to hold the big hose. I don't want to hold a little hose in front of my hose. I just hold my real thing in that case. It's a long one. I don't want it to be long and skinny. I want it to be fat and skinny. You can just hold it and shoot it. No, I'm kidding. In my eye. Ow! Swimmers everywhere. I waterported myself. That would be fucking awesome, just saying. So, yeah. So, we're going to do this. So, I don't know when we're going to shoot this shit, but, you know, see chaps, there we go. I'll fucking, I'm telling you, I'm going to have like an 18 month counter. There's a lot of motherfuckers with a lot of ideas on what I should be doing with my fucking. I need to go back to this and write them all down. No shit on what I should be doing for pictures. I'm going to have to... My calendar's going to have like three pictures per month. So are we going to have to catch a snowstorm? I do have snow pictures of you doing... We're going to screen those fucking pictures. My dick, when it's not hard, isn't impressive. You had on. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Remember when you were making the naked snowing? Well, you're not completely naked.
Speaker1: As long as it felt naked. As long as we screened according to... I love cold-toes, really. So, just saying.
Speaker3: Ugh. Anywho.
Speaker2: Because that would be January, February. What can we do for Valentine's Day?
Speaker1: Like, a bloody heart on my dick. Just saying.
Speaker3: Ugh. Just saying. We just just here's what you do send your picture selection plus plus twenty dollars got a motorcycle i got a motorcycle i got fluffers i got motorcycles i got chat i'm gonna need like this calendar is a seven-year calendar. No itch involved. Just saying thanks so much. Oh, my gosh. We can do probably, like, four pictures. If you have an overabundance of pictures, we can probably do, like, four pictures. And you know what? My dick doesn't have shown any of them. I mean, you want my sexy legs and all these. Yeah, actually, on Ernie's birthday month, I wear the kilt.
Speaker2: That'd be, yeah. Okay, that's a good idea.
Speaker1: Although, I saw what was under Ernie's kilt, and it's not the same. Just saying. Just saying. So, yeah, you know, so just send your picture idea. 20 bucks. It's going to Kaz McHarris. And, you know, ooh, a collage of pictures for each. Now everybody's all excited. I'm going to need 107 pictures.
Speaker2: We'll be able to come up with plenty.
Speaker1: Telling you what, here's the deal. For an extra $5.
Speaker2: What do you want for your birthday month?
Speaker3: Hold on.
Speaker1: For an extra $5, I'll get my dick semi-hard, dip it in ink, and slap it on the picture. So it's like it was signed by my cock.
Speaker3: How about a big desk calendar with one picture every day of the year that's a lot of pictures that's a lot of that's a lot of cold cock i don't know if i have that much creativity to come up with that many what do i want for my birthday yeah what kind of picture you want for your birthday just my dick's buried in something thank you i'll be here all luck. Yeah, probably. And it'll be like behind a candle. I'll have to have a heart on so it looks like my dick's got a flame on it. So it looks like a candle. And my dick heart. So I'll have to be laying down. I'll be laying down. I was just thinking you're holding a cake in front of your dick is all. I wasn't thinking anything. Oh, my God. Yes, I want a cogsciant calendar. I can't say anything because somebody's, like, excited about it. No. You wouldn't be able to read a small signature, small stamp. Actually, I'll need one of those big calendar tests. And for a special fee, he'll stain them. Just saying. He'll come on it. Oh, yeah. If you want it, I'll'll jizz mark your date i'll make your month sticky for an extra fee i'll make your month sticky it's all in the name of charity hey you can wear those thongs what is it with everybody's so excited to put me in the do you mean people want me to put on those fucking bikini bottoms again for a picture There you go and find out when Amanda's birthday is, and you can have a picture in that. Jesus.
Speaker1: Good. those fucking bikini bottoms again for a picture? There you go and find out when Amanda's birthday is and you can have a picture in that. Jesus. Good Lord. Her and I are supposed to get a picture together the next time we're together. She's wearing the tops and you're wearing the bottoms. Uh-huh. Yep. Give me a good picture. Just saying. Fourth of July, we can wrap you in a flag. Don't't forget you have a calendar you need to come up with the pictures for as well mine look my my calendar i was wearing the thong at karen it was awesome my god cole cole's calendar is more like i'm like the gag gift calendar old 70s calendar Well I Wow, I forgot those existed. Okay, that'd be funny. Because if we do that, then I'll make the pins that, like, have me nude when you come upside down and the bathing suit comes off. I would do that because that'd be funny. How would you even have that done? I don't know because my dick would be so long I couldn't see. Santa Mankini again. I have a picture of you in it. Yes, we'll do some naked Santa pictures and whatever. The thing is, is that Cole's calendar is like the gag gift calendar. Your calendar is like the legit calendar. Mine's what you give your buddy at work, the fat guy picture to hang up on his stool. Hey, I thought of you, you know, in this day and age, I know just what you want in And it's a cold calendar. That's what you get in somebody. In fact, their 50th or some shit like that. Your calendar is a legit calendar. Because no one's jacking off to my calendar. I guarantee it. I tell you what, if you jack off to my calendar and send me a video of this. This would be funny as shit. It could be a gag. It's not a gag gift. It could be. It's big enough. I'm just kidding. If you send a video jacking off to my calendar, we'll send you a picture with a crop on your ass. No. Will you stop it? If you send a video jacking off to my calendar, we'll send you, like... A picture with a crop on your ass. No, will you stop it? If you send a video jacking off to my calendar, I'll send you, like... I don't know. We'll send you, like... I'll send you, like, some underwear. I'll jizz in some underwear, wear it around all day and send it to you. Well, guys buy girls underwear. Maybe they want to fucking... I don't know. That's true. I don't know if girls want, like, nut juice so it seals the flavor better or what. I don't know if girls like that shit. If I can sell one pair. Some people probably do. If I can sell a pair of my underwear where the girl goes, wear it around all day for me, I'll be like, fuck yeah, let's go mow the yard, bitches. Ew. Because I get extra. Why? Because one side bounces back and forth. Because the other side just smick into the skin and collects. You know, there's nothing better than when you take your nut sack, take a shot, and you go... And peel that empty side off and let it go back. Oh, there it went.
Speaker3: Ew. That's insane.
Speaker1: So if you'd like some sealed...
Speaker2: I'm supposed to smack you.
Speaker1: It's not your ass, but you're sitting on it. If you'd like some sealed in nut flavor, send me 1995 today. That is so gross. So gross. You might be yucking somebody else's yum. Oh, my God. I can't believe I just said that. That is true. Somebody. That could be somebody's yum. That could be somebody's yum. And if it's somebody's yum, I want to meet him. I want to be able to sell packs of nut butter. One time we had a guy on when we used to cam on Adult Friend Finder. And this dude bought a pair of my underwear that I wore all day. And then the next time we were camming, he goes, I've got them on my head. I want to sell packs of Kohl's nut butter. Ew. Don't look at my penis. I didn't look at your penis your penis is blocked by your elbow I thought you were going to say bitch here we go that's how the fight started your elbow you know what you could do as an? As an awesome, loving wife.
Speaker3: Get closer.
Speaker1: Don't tell me.
Speaker3: That would have been horrible. My look right before Exotica. Crack with the son of a bitch. Thank God for fucking makeup.
Speaker1: I'm like, oh, fuck. You could get closer and look at it.
Speaker5: Check it out.
Speaker1: Taste test it. I haven't done anything bad on it. I like earlier. So here's an interesting question. This podcast is no value at all. Interesting question. We fucked earlier today. Amanda, I'm like, you should suck my dick later. And she's like, eh. And she was toying with the idea, I think. She was giving me hope for gain, I guess. Whatever.'s gonna go no you just kept saying suck my dick it may go in your mouth i don't know if you'll be awake for or not but it'll get there anyway so but then you she asked me she goes no wait a minute did we fuck around before you took a shower or after i'm like what differences make it's yours and i get this ew i don't want old pussy even if it's my pussy. I did. I'm like, okay. So, ladies, here's an important question. If you're buying you like pussy, is old pussy, if it's yours, is it a problem? Is it okay because it's yours? I've sucked it after sex after a while and went, oh, that's me, isn't it? Flavor fresh. Maybe it's a mood. Maybe I'm not in the mood for old pussy. So why do you get mad if I don't want to have sex with you? I don't get mad at you if you don't want sex. That was such a great joke in there. I hope you're going to. I tried to set up, but it failed. I was going to find it. You were like, what do you mean when you don't want to have sex? Maybe I'm not in the mood for old pussy. But it's all about timing on that one. I'm proud of you. You didn't take the bait. Well, you can say the same thing about old dick.
Speaker3: Sometimes I don't want an old hot dog. I want a wrinkly wiener. Wow. Don't yawn. You yawn, it's going right in there. Right in there. A ghost already stuck it in. Yeah, that ghost is me. Have another drink. Roofie. Just saying. It's all about, sometimes, asthma is okay.
Speaker1: It's all about the mood. I'm in the mood for, mmm, old pussy.
Speaker3: It's like day-old donuts.
Speaker1: Okay, so the next time I'll suck your dick and then go give you a kiss and see if you like it. I don't care. I don't care. Here's the thing. Look, sometimes day-old donuts taste great. I squirted on you three times. You said you didn't really care for that one. I don't mind it. I mean, you know. The taste. Oh, okay. Sometimes when you squirt, it's a little bitter. Just saying. I don't like it. I wouldn't taste it. Why have you been squirted in the face like three times? You kiss me in the beard. You know how long it takes to get liquid out of my beard? It takes hours. I can be like a blow dryer. It's like, fucking still damn. If I slobber when I sleep, I'm like, fuck this. It's still sticky and wet. Anyways. You know what it's like when I... The thing is, is day-old donuts sometimes taste good. If you want a donut bad enough, day-old donut, eh, all right. But if you only kind of want a day-old donut, well, then you want one that's fresh. You don't want one that's chewy and kind of crunchy and tastes funny. That's got an odd scent to it. Well, we'll just eat it anyway. If you really want a donut, you'll pick one above your floorboard of your car. Same with Dick. I really want Dick.
Speaker2: I thought Amanda was going to smack you Friday night when you gave her a kiss after the shot of Patron.
Speaker3: That's because
Speaker1: she was being a pussy.
Speaker2: Because I don't like it.
Speaker1: You like it better than the pickle juice.
Speaker2: But then when Courtney kissed me afterwards.
Speaker1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker3: Fuck you.
Speaker1: This is this double standard bullshit in her lifestyle.
Speaker2: She didn't taste it but it caught me so off guard and I was just enjoying the moment
Speaker1: I tried to sneak up and catch and give you just a catch in the moment she didn't come up to me and shove
Speaker2: a tongue down my throat I didn't
Speaker1: tongue rape you we talk about this all the time we talk about you like the touching and the affection and the attention you love it so then when I come up and fucking I walk up without being asked, without being provoked, without being like I wish you'd kiss me. Just I'm there and I'm like oh my god there's my wife. I want to love on her. And then I was like, If you probably wouldn't have gone, hey, watch this.
Speaker3: No, you would have figured out once I actually kissed you,
Speaker1: you would have figured out you got all fucking pissed off. I was just saying that because I wanted to show how much of a loving relationship we have that at the drop of a hat, I could go, hey, watch this, because we love each other.
Speaker2: No, that is not the intention.
Speaker4: Yes, it was.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: And then I was so, i want you to know i was hurt oh you should be humiliated because you're like oh that's gross uh and i was like i actually went out to the car and cried a little bit no you didn't i did too i was like fuck this bitch i don't love me anymore can't't kiss me. Has to be special. So now I'm carrying like a special, like a scope with me so that I can kiss you whenever the mood strikes me instead of having to be lonely and sad.
Speaker3: I need help.
Speaker2: I'm hurt.
Speaker3: 32 years. This is how a relationship ends. It's all over kissed. That's not good enough.
Speaker1: You're not fresh. Yeah. I'm like,
Speaker2: I'm like,
Speaker1: I'm like,
Speaker2: I'm like,
Speaker4: I'm like,
Speaker1: I'm like, I'm up, Mr. Hallmark. You know, and here's the thing. She didn't kiss it both, even with tequila. Here's the thing. She likes tequila. You don't appreciate that sometimes. Like, I mean, seriously, if it was poetic and from the heart and caring, which we know it was. We know it was. Instead of embracing and going, oh, gub. You told me to shut up, Mr. Hallmark. Shut up, Mr. Hallmark. Do you see why I'm in therapy now? Has it become clear to you yet? Me yawning has nothing to do with you. Obviously, I bore you. I bore you with my poetic. And I say, I want to hear poetry. Read me poetry now, Sir Ulrich. Your breast. So most people would love this. They're below your throat. Below your throat. Most people would love being poetic. And you're like, shut up. I'm sitting here talking. Most people would love the attention and you're like shut up i'm sitting here talking most people would love the attention you're like oh i go up to give you a kiss and and most people would be excited about that their husband after 30 years so loves you that much you're like ew i think i'm doing damn good as a husband to hang in there for this long to to be perfectly honest with you. At this point in time, I'm available for adoption. I'd like to go to a loving home. I'm like a lot of puppies. I'm loving. I'm caring. I just want to be loved back. That's all I really want. I have for sweat on me. Oh, you weren't sweating. Right there there it is and there's a perfect thing instead of embracing this moment oh you sweated on me you fucking pig no they were cuddling she's slapping me to get off of her because i'm snoring i'm like someday i'm gonna be dead and you're gonna miss that she's, no. I'll sleep great. It'll be so quiet. It was right by my ear. It's the sound of me. Someday I'm going to drop dead and the bedroom will be completely silent. And you'll lay there. The lights will be off. There won't be a sound to be heard. And the tears will well in your eyes. And you slowly but surely miss your husband of all those years i used to be so annoyed by his snoring now i'm so alone are you fucking serious what do you want to say smart ass you want to say something i actually know what you want to say, smartass? You want to say something. I actually know what you want to say. I'll say it for you.
Speaker2: You always anticipate and you always get it wrong.
Speaker1: I'll say it for you.
Speaker2: What's that?
Speaker1: Eric snores too. It'll be okay. Was I right? Did I get it wrong?
Speaker2: No, you didn't get it wrong.
Speaker1: Thank you very much. I have options. They snore also. I have a CPAC machine. You'll miss this. It's not that loud. I'm sorry. No, but when you're cuddling, it blows air at me, and I can't stand that. I'm sorry. It's keeping me alive. But I just block it with blankets. He'll be dead soon. He'll be dead soon. I block the air
Speaker2: with blankets. Because we cuddle
Speaker1: so much. I only eat like one meal a day. I'm potty trained. You can abuse me and I'll still love you.
Speaker5: Does that mean
Speaker2: I can abuse you?
Speaker1: They're watching it live
Speaker3: I don't know. You can abuse me and I'll still love you.
Speaker1: Does that mean I can abuse you?
Speaker3: They're watching it live as it's happening.
Speaker4: How am I not abusing you?
Speaker2: When we're not in the air, she hits me.
Speaker3: And you know it because she's like, how about a crop across your ass? I've got a ball gag.
Speaker2: She fucking admitted it. I already smacked you, so you didn't need to tell I missed it.
Speaker1: Just saying. Just saying. You've got 130 pounds on me. I think you can take me out. You know what? That is a horrible thought process. Men can be physically abused, too. This is why men don't report it, because they're belittled about it. You can push me over and get and leave. Rodriguez. Baseball player. Fucking. He dated Tawny Matane. For those of you who don't know, which would be you with a blank stare on your face right now. Tawny McTain was the hot girl in the White Snake videos that did the splits on the hood. She dated David Coverdale also for quite a while. She abused him. Physically abused him. Beat the shit out of him. She dated Rodriguez. I can't think of his first name. Baseball player. Somebody help me that's listening for fuck's sakes. Aaron or something? No, not football. It came out that a professional, she abused him. She physically beat him. Physically abused him. So just because you're a woman, I, unlike some men, I don't. A-Rod, yeah. I don't. I don't. Well, that's what I was thinking in that, Aaron. Because I'm not a sexist pig. I don't believe that women are the weaker sex. Another selling feature to have. Don't roll your fucking. I could hear your eyes roll over here. I'm just saying. So, yes. You are so full of shit please don't hurt me just saying please but yeah the baseball player yes it was Aaron so please don't yeah Alex okay just just because you're small doesn't mean you don't use implements. She has a baseball bat. It hurts so bad. I'm so afraid. We have the conversation before every show. If you say anything, I'm going to beat you. Help. Help. Anyways, if you listen to our sponsors, actually, it spells out help. I didn't know that. Anyway, so we're not making light of domestic violence, just saying, but it can happen. Guys can be sexually, can be abused sexually and mentally and physically by smaller women. Like yourself. In-shape women. In-shape women, not somebody who is out of shape like myself and has gimpy old person things. Actually, it's elderly. Would you like to adopt an elder? I'm older than you. Fuck off. We need special care. Just saying. I'm kidding. Some people adopt older dogs. Are you just a control freak? You are. I do whatever you tell me. People have seen you in public. That's in public. That's the show. That's behind the scenes. Right. I'm that powerful man that behind the scenes want you to beat me and whip me and shit. Shackle me. I'm just kidding. Please don't do that to me. I hate pain. Anyways, okay. What a great show. I've been given lessons. I know you have. When we were watching the ball-kicking thing, like, I do, I need bubble wrap and help. We were watching that ball kicking thing. Luckily, you only have like, I want to agree with all trouble. Todd will bring you a helmet. The bubble, or the ball kicking thing, you only have a 50 cent shot hitting me. I'm counting you not having your glass. Oh, what? I'm hitting balls. I'm counting you not having your glasses on. I can't get into ball kicking. I think that's just mean. How about for $1,000? Okay. I can probably do it for $1,000. Just so you all know, she can say that. I can guarantee that I can probably go through a calendar and mark days that she would have ball kicked me without a moment's hesitation. Actually, the only thing that stopped her was she couldn't find steel-toed boots to do it with. Just saying. I get it. It's all good. She is a five-foot firecracker. She explodes everywhere. And not just jizzes on your face. Well, what a great show. Right? Kind of, wow, went off the rails. It kind of did. Was it but it seemed that we're on the rails no no no no we never um don't even think we made it to the station i don't think we found a damn thing uh so uh next week we will be recording from tuesday and we all be back right yeah well because we're going to exotica this week so we'll be back on tuesday we'll be tired Oh, my God, it is this weekend. Yeah, we'll be tired, but we'll be be back, right? Yeah. Because we're going to Exotica this week, so we'll be back on Tuesday. We'll be tired. Oh, my God, it is this week. Yeah, we'll be tired. No. The 9th, we will be here. Yes, we'll be here the 9th. Yes, I will just have a CT scan. Yes. So we'll record normal. Yes. And then the following one will also record normal. Supposedly. Yes. Great show, everybody. Thanks so much. A huge shout-out to our sponsors sponsors again Motorbunny.com Seriously check them out For if you want a top quality name in sex toys Motorbunny.com is the way to go ASN Lifestyle Magazine That's right ASNLifestyleMagazine.com Make it a habit to read each month's edition As it comes out Don't forget to vote for us please Every day every day in April, ASN Lifestyle Magazine Awards.com. We are in the best Expo trade show convention for Crazy Winter Nights and also the best adult takeover for Crazy Winter Nights. We would appreciate your vote. Don't forget to vote for our friends, the Juicy Debauchery for Best New Business and the Fun Pineapple Group for Fun Pineapple Podcast. Fun Pineapple Podcast for Best Podcast. Check them out as well. With that being said, kids, you can follow us on Twitter at Truth Crazy. Follow Miss Amanda on our OnlyFans, Miss Amanda Casba. That's also on her Twitter. Check us out. Check out her site. Don't forget, Crazy Winter Nights, man. We're back. We're ready. We're going. We can't wait to see you guys all there. CrazyKazma.com. Get your tickets for Crazy Summer Nights, Crazy Vegas Nights, and Crazy Winter Nights. Crazy Summer Nights, too. I just said Crazy Summer Nights, Crazy Vegas. You said it from one. That was June. Yeah, that's right. June, Crazy Summer Nights, Vegas nights, crazy summer nights in August, crazy winter nights in February in Kansas City. That being said, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever motherfucking will.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: Kansas style.
Speaker3: Bye.