Krazy Truth about Swinging #295 Frigging stop already

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host with the most cowboy hat and all. I'm Cole, and I'm here with the lovely, lovely and always cold. Check out she's nipping Miss Amanda. Hey. And we're here to tantalate and titillate. Don't even give me a chance to say hey, dickhead. Okay, we'll go ahead and say it now. I already did. We'll say it again just so we make sure. I didn't know if you'd remember that line. We've only been doing it seven years. For those of you who have fallen along at home, and this is special for our good friends at the Fun Pineapple Group, don't be haters. Someday you'll grow up and get as many episodes as we have. This is season seven. Which means year number seven. Year number seven, episode 295. Well, that's just keep counting. And our seasons end at the end of each year. Fuck cards. We just started a new one a couple of months ago. Give a shit. The haters, because we're going to be at 300. And yes, I can't wait for show 300. Oh. There's one fucking show with more out there, which is by the by. They've got us by 100 shows. They're like 401. So're like so they've been doing eight years so seven years yeah we we are fucking hard-working podcasters why don't why don't this fucking every six or seven months say let's do a show no we're fucking hard-working which is good we're not just fucking for content like some of the retards because then your pussy would be destroyed we can see them at exotic i'm sure anyways that's horrible i don't think those are real. They make shit up.otic, I'm sure. Anyways, that's horrible.
Speaker2: I don't think those are real. They make shit up.
Speaker3: Well, I know. But you never know.
Speaker1: Her pussy could currently look like a fucking manta ray.
Speaker2: It wouldn't surprise me anyway.
Speaker1: It wouldn't surprise me. Yeah, it wouldn't. Yeah, no shit. Hey, it's going to eat you.
Speaker3: Anyways.
Speaker2: I get a look at my hair and I'm like, holy shit, I didn't do anything with it. I've been a lazy day today. No today no no you want to try that again i didn't do anything with it that's not a lie no that's no that part's not a lie you said it's been a lazy day today for me today okay some more than one day so how was yesterday i actually worked out twice i did two workouts. You did two workouts that was productive okay and then i started at three o'clock and made from scratch chicken and noodles which i made the noodles from scratch and i made all of that and slaved over a hot stove you wanted to because it was cold in our house so okay and so then the day before that how was that day i don't remember what was that that was sunday that was sunday remember when you said man i haven't done anything all day today remember that just saying yeah well at least you're consistent pumpkin that's all that matters i try to be you you go girl so uh listen to the listen to the boys coming through wow
Speaker1: wait a minute So, listen to the voice coming through. Wow. I've had actual legitimate workouts. Here's the fucking thing. I'm going to say this now because the fun pineapples, because Josh, or some call them Joshua, Josh and TC have been just fucking giving us shit, me shit, non--shot stop on their show when they just released now we love these guys that yep friends for life but i'm going to tell you why i love these guys and why we tolerate their bullshit you ready for this okay sure you'll agree with me on it okay we just want to fuck their wives really look here's the deal what what this is all about your wives we are 100 going to see if we can bag your wives and after that then we'll go I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know. I don't take this the wrong way. I mean, their wives. But obviously, if they're with those two fucktards, then obviously their standards are really fucking low. So that means we have a hell of a chance. I'll bet their wives won't make fun of my cowboy hat and say I look like a fat old Alan Jackson. Actually, they probably would because they think it's funny. But that's just it. I was going to say, one works in the prison system and can kick your ass. Fuck yeah. Rock on.
Speaker3: You almost took a dog home so you could get a chance to fuck her,
Speaker1: and you don't want another dog, so I don't want to hear your shit at all.
Speaker3: That's not quite how that went.
Speaker1: But you would have. Probably.
Speaker3: There's no probably about it. I would have just brought it back here and sold it, and it's all good.
Speaker1: Right, but still, the fact that we would have traveled all those hours with the dog so you could fuck her yeah as listen to science go over no actually these guys are awesome and if you get down to they uh do a ton of shit and we are gonna go down we're gonna go in christmas or on christmas time because i'm going in dirty santa this is my big chance because everybody wants to fuck santa uh but no actually probably in september we're gonna do something with them one weekend attempted I don't know. This is my big chance Because everybody wants to fuck Santa But no, actually probably in September We're going to do something with them One weekend attempted There in Louisville, Kentucky So no, check those guys out Fun pineapples, they're a lot of fun No, listen to them You're giving them all Oh yeah, Louisville Look, when they're working on this for certain things, since they're very Southern, they're working on like a, there'll be like an interpreter that you can help listen to
Speaker4: for those of us from the North.
Speaker2: Oh, I can understand them.
Speaker1: Well, that's because you're from there. You grew up around.
Speaker2: I'm not from Kentucky.
Speaker1: Now, see, now I'm going to shit. I'm just opening this war that is just a horrible idea all the way across the board. Now they know we're funning.
Speaker2: But the next time y'all call Cole to talk during your podcast, we have a surprise.
Speaker1: Yeah, we do. So just know. So, anywho, no, but they're great, guys. So, hey, so one of the things, real quick, before we do our sponsors, is obviously ASL Awards are up. It's through the end of this week. So starting, right now, the top ten in each category has been released. was released and holy shit were we shocked on sunday yes and and the top five the finalists come out april one and that's when the voting starts and i'm going to tell you right now uh in the categories and we need your help best retail outlet uh our full swap shop we need your vote uh best new business under a year miss amanda.net uh best supporting business both we have both full swap radio and full swap shop are in the top 10 we need your help there uh best trans content creator wasn't that what oh who were we supposed to put with that I'm just kidding that's an inside joke for some folks best trade show expo convention we're there we're going to bring the award back home again crazy winter nights best content creator performer Amanda Snuggers Miss Amanda and best entertainment someone put in my real name, Best Entertainment Podcast. We don't want you to vote for our podcast. We actually want you, the podcast we want you to vote for is Fun Pineapple Podcast. Vote for those guys. They are incredible. I want you to vote for them. But wait, there's a few more categories that we're up for some shit. It's not shit. We're up for awards. And where is it? Best Adult Takeover. Crazyover crazy winter nights so help us bring some awards back home with us we really need to we want to we're going to be out there we're going to be presenters out there at the poconos and so uh vote now the top five move on and then april 1st to the end of April is when the votes so we need you to help us bring some trophies
Speaker2: that's when it's super important
Speaker3: you know
Speaker1: so yeah absolutely uh it's gonna start calling they're gonna start calling if you gave them your phone number
Speaker2: you're in the house they do not have my phone number
Speaker1: I'll text it to you anyways
Speaker3: okay
Speaker1: quick shout out from our sponsors
Speaker3: real quick
Speaker1: before we get going on stuff motorbunny.com obviously if you want the top name in sex toys you want someone reliable dependable that's been around I'll see you next time. Okay, a quick shout-out from our sponsors real quick before we get going on stuff. Motorbunny.com. Obviously, if you want the top name in sex toys, you want someone reliable, dependable that's been around, motorbunny.com is the way to go. Go to their website and get $50 off either one of their originals or their new buck. Don't forget to go to our Casbah porn page and see Miss Amanda having written that if she can stay awake for the show uh and then also asn lifestyle magazine we just talked about the awards but asnlifestylemagazine.com three million readers can't be wrong if you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle world asn lifestyle magazine is your source for all things information and finally smokingmeatsbbqtreats.com I'm going to spell this for you, S-M-O-K-I-N-M-E-A-T-S-BBQ-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. They're lifetime sponsors of our event. It's barbecue season, best meat rubber rounds, a company of swingers, for swingers. You can get their Hickory Dust, Lemon Pepper, SBG, Orange Mango, Habanero, or Pineapple Paradise, or also Cinecue. If you use Casbah 15, you get a 15% discount. The cool thing is we've cut a deal with them, and we now have our very own Casbah Special Blend Meat Rub. So make your grilling season extraordinary. So there you go. Okay, do you want to talk about... Those are attached. Let's not pull those. No, they weren't. Do you want to talk about what you want to talk about first? What do you want to do? You talk about what you want to talk about. I don't know what I want to talk about. I didn't think anything. I just had to see if we could just sit and flounder together. It'd be fun. Okay, rock on. You're a fucking bitch. God is my witness. Fucking... Just... Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that that let's talk about all the shit i let you get let you do you make me want to start singing no what do you mean i make you won't start want to sing what are you talking about let's talk about sex baby i i am in a curtain beacon of encouragement What were we talking about earlier? Well, your cold fucking feet when I tried to cuddle with you, which that failed at that. I tried, but apparently I snore too loud, so that didn't. So I get told no. That was awesome.
Speaker2: We cuddled for a while.
Speaker1: And then you pushed me away and said no because you snore too fucking loud. Okay. Okay, that's what I'm saying. It happens. You are tired. God. Anyways, again, my job is to carry stuff and chauffeur. That's what I do. That's my job. Don't fucking shake your head. No, the fuck it's not. Who carries stuff? Who chauffeurs?
Speaker4: Well, it depends.
Speaker2: The last time I'm like, no, I need to help you carry this because you shouldn't be lifting it.
Speaker1: Yeah, but I do anyways, and I'm just fine. Who's getting you gigs? That's what I do. I'm support staff. I'm like the unimportant nasa people somebody's gotta polish the rocket that's my fucking job anywho and that's what it is it's all fun uh so yeah cold feet motherfucker anyways just saying they i said i was cold i've been and i but i let you because i let that's the way i go that's the way i roll and i appreciate it unless i'm too loud you know when i'm dead you'll miss that i know you say you won't you're just like oh great yeah but you'll miss even your grandma said that one time just saying 30 years married and still treated like a hubby no shit ain't that the fucking truth rent a hubby just saying that's what it is it's all good just saying up getting you fucking gigs all over the place pimping you out i'm trying to that's what we're doing. Comfy, warm heart. Let's not get carried away. It depends. I got shut down
Speaker2: because I... place pimping you out i'm trying to that's what we're doing comfy warm heart let's not get carried away it depends i got shut down because i snored too loud it was right in my ear i at one point i don't like when you breathe right on me did you not say that don't just shake your head for the people that only have the audio did you not say that that? I did say that. And what did I do? You moved your head. I moved my head so it wouldn't breathe on you. At first you were a smartass and buried your head in the pillow. No, well, but it still didn't know I wouldn't breathe, but then I couldn't breathe, so I moved my head. What did I do last night? I hung in like a champ, standing in bed. You started coughing and left. But I hung in like a champ as long as I could, but then I didn't want to wake up because I was just hacking up a fucking storm. And I quietly pittle-platted into my office. But as he pulled the blanket, you could hear all the static. I wanted to be warm. I'm such a dick. So other than that, right? Snoring blocks the sound of the raccoons. No shit, exactly. Earlier this, what was it, Sunday? Monday. We woke up, and I'm like, the little dog starts, he has a CPAP. He just hasn't been using it because he had been sick. But he does have one. But anyway, so the little dog starts barking. I'm like, what are you barking at? That's just the wind howling, and it was just like a whistle. No, that was raccoon. And you didn't wake me up. All of a sudden, I stood up. I'm like, what the fuck? And you're like, it's the wind. I'm like, that is not fucking wind. And I was actually walking around waiting to find a paw going through the ceiling. Because they were raccooning. It sounded like a raccoon got stuck and... Was pissed off, yeah.
Speaker1: Yeah.
Speaker3: Anyways.
Speaker2: We think when they come catch the raccoons that they let them go not too far away as they come back.
Speaker3: They come back.
Speaker1: Everybody says that.
Speaker3: What?
Speaker1: Jay, Cole, you're one lucky man. And I agree with that. You don't know what ever says...
Speaker2: You know you're a lucky man.
Speaker3: What?
Speaker1: No one ever says...
Speaker3: What?
Speaker2: Well, I'm the only one of the two of us that's lucky that's not true i've had girls really try to butt in and get in the way butt in and get in the way maybe they thought i had money dumbasses they thought i had power or something but how often do people walk in and go you know you just need to understand how, I get this. I wish I could find somebody like you. That doesn't mean they're saying that you're lucky. Just saying. Well, what the fuck do you think it means? It's an evil mom lucky. I don't know what it means. They make me think I have a huge dick. Maybe they think I have money. Remember, I used to have a Beamer. I couldn't afford it, but I had one. We could afford it at the time. Well, still, just saying. Can't now, but we could afford it at the time. We're just going to hit the billion today. Have you listened to my rant? No, but you told me about it. That's why I don't tell you about them, goddammit. Because then I give you your excuse not to listen to my shit. I asked you and you told me what it was about, and I still can't. No. I gave you, I didn't even give you the
Speaker1: Cliff Notes version. I said like three words. It's about justification. But it was a long one. It went over 30 minutes. That was the entire length of
Speaker2: the conversation. Oh, so that must mean it was about me. No.
Speaker1: It's actually really, I'm actually really proud of that rant. That's actually a really good one.
Speaker2: Okay. I'll have to listen to it.
Speaker3: Okay. Okay.
Speaker1: Are we making a bet on this? Are we starting to pool?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: That's what I thought. Hey, you know what? So for those of you who keep track at home, we are on season five of Kazma's Rants. Episode 154 is the one that we just did.
Speaker2: I used to.
Speaker1: The one that we just did. You. That I did. And so after about episode 30 is when you quit sitting in here when I recorded him. Because I used to help him record it. So after episode three, so 124 episodes of Kazma's Rants. She has no fucking idea. I've listened to a couple. So there's only 120 rants that she has no idea about in any way, shape, or form. It's something fun, I do. At least you know what the booth will look like. You'll be able to find your way home at Exotica because you've seen pictures of our booth so you know what it'll look like when we've bread comes for you guys. What do you mean I need a 70s camera with this haircut? This is not a mullet, motherfucker. It's all long, what I have of it.
Speaker2: Oh, so I haven't been paying attention. Supposedly, there's a drinking game that when he pulls his hair or touches his hair like that, well, he already just did it and I just caught it. So, some girls were talking at the birthday bash about how they do shots. One girl started off doing a shot every time you did that and not even halfway through she was hammered she was trying she was like yeah she was trying very often i don't i don't do it very often so now that i'm thinking about it it's like yeah my hair keeps doing it saying but yeah so we're going to come out with the actual an actual official drinking game with that it'll be fun whatever okay so let's talk let's's talk about it because you have a very valid thing that you want to talk about because obviously, well, before we get to yours, actually, if you follow us on Twitter, if you don't do, if you have Twitter or X, whatever, follow us because there's been, I started to follow this new this, this new page and it's fucking awesome. Fucking awesome. Because what it is, it's all showing clips like hidden cameras, video clips, yeah, you know, clips from gym and shit like that of women sexually assaulting men. Really? And I guess sexually assaulting is kind of hard, so yeah it's sexual assault like there's just one of the guys it's uh you know like he's just he's working on equipment you can tell it's a gym like a an overhead like a security camera and these two girls are kind of standing behind one girl walks up and grabs his ass wow and he turns around and looks at them they're like what and and there's multiple ones and i've been trying to make sure when those when i see those that i uh reshare them because the whole thing is this if if the sex was reversed people would lose their mind stop sexual assault and i and i try to share them because that's in the lifestyle too i mean that's that's a huge thing. So I think it's, and this ties somewhat into what you're going to talk about, but I think it's a huge, it's cool to see people outside in the real world talking about this also. Having been somebody who had their nut blown up because of it, I have a special place in my heart and an empty spot in my nutsack because of it. So I appreciate it. So I think it's cool to start to see that all the way through because, like, the only way we can stop this kind of shit is education. Yours is not a woman, but yours, you have a go ahead with what you're going to talk about. I just wanted to throw that out there because I think it's really cool. I don't even really know how to even talk about it. You know, how much do you let alcohol factor into it? Right. Okay. So, I had a guy at the bar that kept giving me kisses. He was part of our group. Now, needless to say, you know, for the most part, I don't mind it. You want a kiss? I'll give you a kiss. Really not a big deal. But after a while with this guy, he kept getting drunker and drunker and kept giving me kisses, and I was kind of sick of it. So I put my hand up on his mouth, and I said no. Now, for me to tell somebody no. And firmly. It wasn't like a jokey, like, ha, no. I said no now for me to tell somebody no and firmly it wasn't like a jokey like no no it was said no you're done and he's like oh i know consent and then not five minutes later he was trying to do it again it's like stop it so how much do you let alcohol factor into that you know granted you should understand and pick up on no because i blatantly said no yeah and this was and that's a key point of this
Speaker1: this was an example of where where there was no not oh stop that yeah not like trying to be turn my head nothing i blatantly you blatantly saided his lips and said no. And it's a very real, it's important because now that it's starting to get nice weather, we're headed for summer, we're headed, you know, there's more activities, more events, more everything going on, people are getting out. It's a very real fucking thing and booze and drugs are a huge part of it so we're kind of wearing this in a new unique factor because we have both cut down on our drinking like you've went to like one drink, maybe two on a Friday night at the bar. And I've cut down substantially. I'm not leaving the bar train. I'm not leaving the bar drunk. I mean, my cut down is a little different because I can still have seven shots and three rum and Cokes, and I'm fine. But still.
Speaker3: I can't.
Speaker1: But we've both cut down because we've realized, for a lot of reasons, not judging people, just for a lot of reasons not judging people just for a lot of reasons whether it be partially both for our health and just because of who we are and because of things like consent and how easy it is to fucking forget when you have too much booze right but
Speaker2: the part that's interesting as we have reined our drinking in, and you start to see it out, you get to see it without those fucking booze glasses on, it's amazing how much different it looks. And that's something, I mean, wow, is it fucking amazingly different. But I don't have any interest in this guy anyway. I'm just nice. Right. Here's the thing. There was a time that he did get to kiss you. The first time he got to kiss you, because you and your wife were kind of back around, and everybody was drunk. And the thing's you know again it goes back to that consent thing consent's not a it's not a blanket approval there's no such thing as a blanket approval just because you have consent this time just because well right because you know months ago he asked me if he could kiss me that's fine i will give people i grew up where you greeted somebody and you said your salutations or whatever with a kiss that's how i grew up in a place where that was a blowjob instead that'd be really creepy and gross depends not not really i guess it depends on who you were giving it to oh well yeah i guess yeah, I guess. We need to clarify the culture.
Speaker3: Just saying. Anyways, go ahead. Don't mind me. Right. Just saying. Right. Don't.
Speaker4: Shut up.
Speaker2: But, you know, I don't have a problem. I don't know. It's petty, but it just crossed the line when I told him no. But see, that's just it.
Speaker1: It's not petty. That's the whole thing with all of this. It's the biggest challenge in a lifestyle. This is the fucking, okay, so my rant, for those that listen to it, and I talk about justification, okay, and it's a huge factor in the lifestyle. Look, in real life, justification is important, okay? If you are in a business situation, right, and you have an idea or you're trying to solve a problem or your strategy or whatever the case may be here you come up with an answer and then you justify your reasoning but what you use is you use logic that's what makes justification official a good thing in the lifestyle use emotion. And there is no, emotion is not, justification doesn't happen off a gut feel. Justification happens off of facts. So the problem is, is that there is not a single, not a single time, and I challenge somebody to show me otherwise not a single time that justification in any form of the lifestyle is is for the positive because it's not justification is used for breaking rules justification is used for convincing your partner to to take one for the team or to do something that they don't necessarily want to do. Justification is used to get into the lifestyle. Justification is used to go to a party or an event that your partner, similar to another, doesn't want to go to. Justification is a way to convince your partner, similar to another, to participate in something they're not comfortable with. And not only do you have justification that does that, what's even worse is you have reverse justification. And reverse justification runs absolutely rampant in the lifestyle. And reverse justification, the best analogy I can give for reverse justification, and I use this in my rant. You still have to listen to it to get the full gist of my rant. If you take and you know that your kid has a band concert and it is so important for them it's like the most important thing in the world for them right and you know the band concert is going to suck because 99 of our kids band concerts do suck it's one of the curses of being a parent you go and listen to kids sound like they're killing cats i sounded perfect until they reach a certain agent and and but that goes with it right but what it is is but if you know this event is so important to your kid but if you purposely schedule a meeting a whatever so you can't attend knowing that it's going to cause pain and then you reverse justify it well but this can really this can really help the career. This can help pay for a vacation. This could do this. Reverse justification is so shitty because you know that it's causing pain. And you're justifying causing somebody else pain. You're justifying going, hey, I have this hammer in my hand. Hey, they're just sitting there. And you justify walking up and sledgehammering with it. And in the lifestyle, that runs rampant. And part of the way things are justified in the lifestyle horribly is just exactly what you said there. It's just a minor thing. But that's just it. It's not. That's the problem. A minor thing, if it would happen one time, one time in the night, the problem a minor thing if it would happen one time one time in the night that's a minor thing but it didn't happen one time it he wasn't stopping it wasn't quitting you know and and the fact that it's the alcohol factor or the drug factor or the just uncooling factor that happens every fucking single event every time, every single week, every single month, every single fucking year. It's not minor, but we've justified it as being minor, a one-time situation, but it's not. Look at the fucking, if you think and look at the, wherever you're at in the world and you're listening to this, of the events you go to and I'm going to put fucking money I'd put a million dollars that you can walk into an event and you could if I walked in with you
Speaker3: you could go
Speaker1: him, her are the people that are going to be the problem child and you're going to be able to tell me exactly what they do because they do the same fucking shit every single time and we haven't put a stop to it because we justified it as it's just minor Here we go. because they do the same fucking shit every single time and we haven't put a stop to it because we've justified it as it's just minor and it's not and that's the fundamental problem and that's that's where right now the lifestyle has a huge fucking we we have a huge problem on our hands because everything is when does it it switch? When does it go from minor to major? What degree of fucked up has to happen for us to go, this is a major fucking problem. And what degree of fucked up has to kick in to make us go, we are not going to tolerate this anymore as a community, as a whole.
Speaker3: That becomes the problem, and that's the challenge.
Speaker1: Because if you make that next step, then that means there's consequences. That means somebody has to step up and go, no, I ain't going to fly. No, you're gone.
Speaker3: And who's going to do that? Who's willing to be the asshole?
Speaker1: Who's willing to be the bad guy, the bad girl, whatever, to do that? Who's willing to be hated? That's the game. And that's the way all the way through. And Michael fucking Ramos, as God is my witness, call me during my fucking podcast. You've got to be shitting me, dude. I'm going to give you all kinds of shit for that. Anyways. Give me a text to me. Yes. So it's an interesting thing and what's really really interesting is when you talk to people you know like with the booze and the drugs and everything else it's like you start talking to people and that don't drink and you go and you get their perspective and then your perspective You get to see it a little bit. You're like, wow, it just makes way more sense. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do about them. It was more I was just annoyed. Right. Because I was done with it. You were justifiably annoyed. Yeah. So now when I see him, it's do you give the... He left you a voicemail. But, you know, do you still give a typical greeting of a kiss and move on with life, and then if he starts bugging you again, then get on him? Or do you stop him from the get-go and say i don't appreciate what you did one i think that as an overall lifestyle i think we need and and i'm a hugger which it more is i think about how terrifying that's got to be
Speaker2: that you're a hugger oh yeah how's that terrifying well think about it for a minute let's
Speaker1: use let's use tina as an example our friend i'm sorry you know okay right tina's like you I don't know. terrifying well think about it for a minute let's use let's use tina as an example our friend tina i'm sorry tina okay right tina's like you she's she's small she's she's a little girl she's little she's smaller than i am okay and all of a sudden you've got fucking a goddamn grizzly bear come up going raw okay if you're new i forget that apparently i can be intimidating i'm not intimidating man i'm not i look in a bear i don't i'm not intimidating so i forget that but how terrifying that's got to be it's like oh my good god what's this fat guy doing get away from me ah and with all my hair it's probably about half like a sasquatch it's all right michael we love you anyways uh so but the thing is probably what the lifestyle partially needs to do is we we need to stop it we we need to you don't walk in our culture in this country you don't walk into people who work the first time you meet them and and hug true and maybe and because here's the thing at plant seed now i absolutely think if you have an issue with somebody then yeah keep don't if if you do a standard green includes a kiss it's sending a mixed signal now the dog don't know, because Denise says, give him a kiss.
Speaker2: Hello, if that's what you normally do, and then immediately put your finger up and tell him that's it for tonight because of last time's behavior.
Speaker1: And that's not a bad option. That's not bad. You just have to make sure it doesn't come mixed. It can't be like, you know, the dog sits on the floor and yell at the dog, and then, you know, as you're cleaning it up, you're kind of like, oh, buddy. I mean, you can't.
Speaker2: Oh, no, he gets smacked.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: But, I mean, you can't fucking, I mean. And it's a challenge how not to send mixed signals, you know. The thing is, okay, Larry, everyone's different. If it makes you uncomfortable, stop it then. Here's the thing. I don't think about it. Do you know when i realize that it's probably uncomfortable for people with me is when i'm hugging and you as you you're almost right there you look down and there's a terror in their eyes you're like oh fuck but now you got all this weight moving in one direction you're like fuck no know, and you try to do the, like, side hug, not as intimidating. I swear to God, you know.
Speaker2: Well, because we saw him there last week.
Speaker1: And, yeah.
Speaker2: And he pretty much kept to himself. I think I gave him, I don't remember if I gave him a kiss hello or not.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker2: But I didn't purposely go up and say anything to him.
Speaker3: Mm-mm.
Speaker2: No, because I didn't talk to his wife either.
Speaker3: Mm-mm.
Speaker1: Nope. Yeah. because you said something i i were a partnership we're a team that's how this works i look i'm a firm fucking believer in that part of part of the reality of it is I can't go up and smack a bitch, okay? But you can walk up to a girl and get in her face and go, don't, when it comes to me, right? And most wife-satisfying others can't. That's an acceptable option. If it's a dude, I don't have it on because I don't wear it anymore because it hurts my hands, but that whole fucking piece of paper, that goes along with it. So you said stop. It didn't stop. You told me about it. My job is to make sure that the message was relayed clearly that it stops and then there's not a problem and there wasn't see how that works okay so there's guys listening right now that can absolutely relate to this right we'll tell their story huh we'll tell their story a guy at a club did something stupid to one of their wives yeah yeah and what happened they went and took they did they took care of it to make sure that the problem stopped there's nothing wrong with that that's part of what that's part of what it's the one thing i always feel bad for singles in right because singles don't have guys don't have the girl that can step up and do that for them I don't have, guys don't have the girl that can step up and do that for them, the stiff and the other, and women don't have the guy that can step up and do that for them. You know, like for women, I can only go from that type of perspective, you know, like one of our cadets, somebody fucked with her, they dealt with me. But that's still not the same. That's a little protective. That's still not the same as, I mean, I'm pretty sure that that gentleman thought his life was going to end, which it was. It came very close. Yeah. Right? But that's not the same as, we have a different bond. So when I step up to the plate there, there's a whole different level of like if it's somebody else i probably won't have to fucking find somebody to bury the body but if it's you there's a bigger chance i would right and so and that that's that it's in the vows that's why i do weddings it's part of the secret code shit we sign it you do you have your own copy you sign we sign our own copy it's just trust me on this it's one of those things i also i'll see shelly yep there we go now wait a minute hold on uh cole's a big guy i'm always worried about hugging smaller women big guy problems it's really true because we feel like we swallow them up uh ah being a lifestyle shelly being a lifestyle for over 30 years things have changed so much it's hard for me to remember to ask for permission before hugging. Yeah, but sometimes I think it's just understood. Well, yeah. I mean, you know people. It's all good. Part of it's reading the room. I've had some people when they've met me. Granted, they know who I am before I know who they are. But they go, I'm a hugger. I'm sorry. I'm like,'m a hugger too see i do that because it's my thing is like if i can show that i'm a teddy bear right off the bat then you know or the other problem is is so many times i don't remember if i've met the people okay so anybody who meets me that doesn't know just so you know i'm going to be completely honest probably the reason you get a hug from me, because they'll come up and say, hi. And so I'm running, sitting through my brain, trying to, like, do I know, don't know him. And so in lieu of, because I've had this happen, I'd be like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. And they're like, we've met. Don't I get a hug?
Speaker3: Fuck.
Speaker1: So my go-to thing is move in for the hugs. And if they're like, oh, I'm so excited to get to meet you. Oh, I'm a hug fuck so my go-to thing is move in for the hugs like and if they're like like oh i'm so excited to get to me oh i'm a hugger sorry yeah so you know but there's got to be a better way because yes i quite honestly this is the reason why i watch my drinking now i know that it's no big deal but when i come in and if i got a slight stumble or a slight slur when i'm coming in that's probably even more intelligent it's terrifying then it's like a drunken fucking polar bear coming in right and it's like so i don't want to do that i think you have done that i yes i have and i i have done that and that's why I've tried to change. And you have too, drunkie. Do what? Have I done that? Yeah, yes, yes. My wife would think you're upset if she didn't get a hug from Cole. Yeah, well, once I know you, then I'm hugging you. If I've made you pass out, I'm hugging you. That is what it is. i'm hugging you that is what it is and yes you have okay no one ever fights hugs away from me so well no one ever actually fights hugs no one's actually like peppily pewed the cat thing like trying to get away from me type thing it just you know it's a little shudder when they even drank polar bear. It isn't all that scary. Okay, but, okay, so it was like going to be upset if they needed hugs for me. But that's because you guys know me. If you don't know me, think this through. Okay, think about your job right now. Think about all the guys you know at your job. Close your eyes for a minute. Put your mental picture. I don't have a job. Yours doesn't count because you need me to think about bigger dicks. Anyways, close your eyes. Picture it. Picture the most of the guys that are going to get your work right now, okay? Now, this very moment, keep that mental picture in your head and put a metal picture of me on a regular Saturday, Friday, or Saturday night. Nails done, long hair flowing, beard, scarves probably on, outdated clothing according to my wife. Compare the two side by side. Now can you see why it might be a little more intimidating when I'm coming in than the average dude in a shirt and tie or a polo? Oh yeah, and even if I have a polo, my nipples are hard. I can't help it.
Speaker3: Sorry.
Speaker1: And you're short, so I'm poking your eye with a nipple. I didn't mean to. It happens. You've done it too you need to acknowledge i've had hard nipples you need to acknowledge more things you've done when you're drunk i always admit to all this shit that i've done and no we won't admit to the shit i've done when i'm drunk because apparently i don't remember it and i'm told about it the next day some of the shit you remembered through the years i mean it's sketchy but even in my even in my rant i use another example of time where i fucked up and used justification and how it went totally south i do that in all my shit just fyi for you to know that i always whatever i'm usually lecturing about in my rants I usually put examples of how I have fucked up and learned from that those mistakes that I've made with it because all my you know just saying I've had to peel you off of kids because you come home drunk and crawl in bed with them telling them how much you love love them I didn't crawl in bed with them Alright and this is for you pineapple fuckers too You're the ones that said I was like an older brother to you An older more mature brother to you Although it's really scary That you guys make me feel more mature That's fucked up Now I'm going to act all stupid around you the next time This is going to be fucking weird I just want you to know I'm going to fucking pour pixie sticks on one of your wife's asses and do it off of her ass. Just saying. Bam! Just saying. I could take an eye out with my nipples. What was that? I'm sorry. I looked over and just caught the upper flick there. Do that again. I was pretending like I was licking pixie sticks. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Do it again. Why? Do it again. You'd make such a great cat for Halloween. Hey, do you have your bunny pictures done for Easter? Like a picture. I'll have to take more. You don't know how much fun we have now going to the store, buying candy, and everything we go for every holiday. We're buying all this shit like we have with little kids. No, no. You can get some eggs so they can come out of your cooter. No. I was thinking of the Cadbury commercial. It said, you know, like the line, like, bonk.
Speaker3: You'd be like, dropping colored eggs out of your cooter.
Speaker1: That'd be funny as shit. That would be fucking hilarious. It's just funny when we have a cart full of stuff, like we have these little kids for all these holidays, but it's not. It's all props for you to take dirty
Speaker2: pictures with. We need to get some ears. They're huge. I'm like, oh, I can't even get them
Speaker1: in the picture. It's fucking awesome. It actually... I could have worn
Speaker3: I don't even get them in the picture.
Speaker4: It's fucking awesome.
Speaker1: It actually.
Speaker2: I could have worn them since Easter's this weekend.
Speaker3: You know what? It is.
Speaker1: And maybe if we go to church, you could wear them in. Just saying. I had other ideas for Easter pictures that you didn't like something about lightning and striking just you know chocolate crosses just saying going to hell it is what it is just going to run away what are you doing? yawning sorry why? do you know how many people I had comment to me after last week's show wishing that the cops would have fucking pulled me over? I know, a lot. I was hearing some of it. Mm-hmm. Yep. That's awesome. I would have thought it was funny. No way, really? Yeah. I'd have been shocked and surprised. You want to know what would have been funny? I know how this would have worked. I would be just not getting home from fucking getting out of jail because you just cruised on home. No. You just got to take it. Wait a minute. So, wait. What an interesting comment you make there. This goes along with a conversation we had last week, and I need our friends and family and listeners to give us their opinions. Oh, God. what? If you were to be out somewhere, say on a beach, anywhere, in a certain place here, and have your top office get a sexy picture, like when we're going to go do the car wash pictures that we are going to do when it's warmer, and you were to get a ticket, is that a big deal? Because you're going to make out of it get an indecent exposure ticket. And the funny, the hottest part of the whole thing would be standing there, me videoing, why you're getting a ticket with your tits hanging out. For one, that would be fucking hilarious and priceless. And number two, using that ticket as a fucking pasty. Just saying. It's a fucking $200 fucking indecent exposure ticket Who fucking cares? Seriously. Who gives two fucks? Okay, Tina's all in. So the car wash picture, here's what's going to happen for the car wash picture. And I told her, the car doesn't have to be clean when it's done. Okay? Just saying. Well, but she's old enough. She's a sex offender. Yeah, Iowa, you can get put on the sex offender list. No, you can only get put on the sex offenders list in Iowa if somebody calls the police on you. If the police roll up on you, then it's not. There's the difference. The car wash picture is going to be hot. So we're going to go to one of the car washes, like not the roller ones because that would look weird. I'm walking through and getting slapped around by rollers. But one with the wand. So we're going to go. Larry, don't hate for the fun for the fun we're gonna go I'll get it all lined up get it all the the wand going have you hop out of the car and we'll have a picture like wow I was spraying up so the mist is coming out and spraying the car wand naked like real quick like we'll get like you know five ten pictures you don't actually have to wash the car. I mean, if we can get you with a foam brush once, it'd be cute. But it's not, but, like, spraying where the mist is coming down and you're naked in the car wash. That will be so fucking hot. Just naked or topless? Naked. Those pictures will be fucking hot. So you'll be out exposed for, like, three minutes. Because we'll go, like, two or three in the morning. So it's not like, you know, hey, it's 10 o'clock and everybody's there and and get those pictures. And you know what? If we get if a fucking cop rolls up on us and we get a ticket, we get a ticket. So what? We'll fucking put a plea out to you on Twitter for your fans to fucking pitch him to pay or Larry can help pay.
Speaker3: Okay?
Speaker1: Who fucking cares? Those pictures will be hot because it's the... You say, where do you like to have sex? Say it.
Speaker2: Outdoor.
Speaker1: Why? Because it's hot. Why? Because it's public. What she said is outdoors, because it's hot, because it's public. So people that know that about you, then when they see the cool fucking, the picture, yes, it'll be obvious it wasn't during the middle of the day i mean we can go to small town and do one during the day if you want but yes it's obviously it won't be during the day but it's hot because it shows you doing what you talk about which is true what you like and what you think is hot they'll think it's hot too and if the cost of that is a fucking indecent exposure ticket who fucking cares oh no at the next parent teacher conferences oh wait that doesn't affect us oh no at the next pto meeting oh wait that doesn't affect us oh no but your job that doesn't affect us who fucking cares oh no my family's gonna find out my mom found out after our phone call on sunday you do porn so ta-da i told her she didn't want a calendar just saying so i mean you know it'd be even hotter if the cop participated it fucking would be your back here or put handcuffs on you you want to know what i guarantee you we can find a cop for a calendar it would do it Yep Abso-fucking-lutely
Speaker3: And we tell them, look, yep.
Speaker1: Abso-fucking-lutely. And we tell him, look, all we do is we blur him. So it couldn't see, you know, him. Just so you can see a dude or a chick in a uniform. But it would blur it. And, yeah, that would be fucking. I would jack up under the table right now, but it would cause the dogs to go nuts. But we get the idea. Yeah, that would be. Anyways, so. I don't know. I would jack up under the table right now, but it would cause dogs to go nuts. But we get the idea. That would be. Anyways, so. Ew.
Speaker2: What is ew about it? Are you making that noise? Look at what it did on the screen.
Speaker1: I've seen what it's done to your chest before, too. Just saying. So I need people to encourage her to quit being a puss And show her puss in public
Speaker4: Pussy
Speaker1: Public pussy That's what we need Public pussy Miss Amanda's public pussy Oh and we'll also be making Because this week we've got to make your We're going to Exotic in two weeks Two weeks
Speaker3: Two weeks Two weeks
Speaker1: We're going to make And I'm not going to go to this So this could be a disaster But we're going to make a wooden Five foot tall penis
Speaker2: Ish
Speaker4: Ish
Speaker1: I'll see you next time. make and i'm not gonna go to this so this could be a disaster but we're gonna make a wooden five foot tall penis ish ish well no it'll be no i i ordered a big ruler that hangs up so i can paint little penises on it oh where are you hanging it so we just have well regardless so we're gonna have it so that you can get your picture taken to prove that Miss Amanda the 5-foot firecracker is really. So I'm not going to be able to wear shoes. Well, yeah, you can. You can take them off for that. Okay. Unless it's like a heel factor. You know, they won't care. No one's going to be looking at your feet. Well, some might, and that's all right, too. Rock on. We love that, too. We're all cross-bored, just saying. So much exciting.
Speaker2: They have flooring on the...
Speaker1: Not carpet, not for an extra fee they do. We can bring carpeting. We can bring whatever we want in there.
Speaker2: No, we're not bringing shit like that. Can you put, like, a cloth down?
Speaker1: You can put whatever you want down.
Speaker2: So you're not standing on cement?
Speaker1: You can do whatever you want in your booth as long as you don't spill out outside of your booth. You stay in your lane, so to speak. Stay in your lane. Yeah, stay in your lane. Otherwise, you can do whatever you want. Yeah, so there you go. So, yeah. I don't know if we actually accomplished anything tonight, really, particularly. You know, sort of. Kind of. It was fun. It went fast. Well, it does. It goes fast. Yep.
Speaker3: That means we're done.
Speaker1: People are excited about you, and that's all that matters.
Speaker3: Just glad that you're here.
Speaker1: I'm so glad that you're here for the show to carry us. Why does that feel so smart-ass?
Speaker3: I have no idea. I'm just happy to be here. Oh, you're a dick.
Speaker1: I'm not a dick. I'm a stunt dick. I'm your stunt dick. I'm your stunt cock. I'm like your practice cock is what I am. Breakfast cock? What? I'm your stunt cock. I got that one. What did you say? Your practice cock. Practice. I was getting breakfast. I don't know how. Don't ask. Yeah, that's it. Tell people it's small like a sausage. Thanks. Great. Appreciate that. Hey, we just watched a video with a dude that ate big sausages, and they weren't little. Well, but you didn't specify that part. The pineapple guys are going to instantly go, I mean, he's got a small dick. Miss Amanda said so. So, yeah, I know how this goes. So, anyways. No, and you were going to pick on them. I did pick on them a little bit. Not a lot. A little bit. I don't want to fire the shots too much. We've got to work our way into it. They said next week's going to be better, so I'll see what they come up with next week. No, I'm just happy to be here. I'm glad that you allow me to carry your stuff and be on your support team. It's like being the pit crew boss type thing. I get a special hat for that like pit crew i'll fucking make you one you know i will and i'll wear it because you know that's what it is i am the fluffer i am the i'm the business fluffer that's that's my job i'm merely i'm merely here and support i'm a support vehicle i get snacks i carry shit make sure that you you are places you need to be at where you need to be there get you through the crowd get you to your sessions and whatever you need to do that's that's what i do yeah that's what you do and i don't get paid for it it's all right it's all right. It's all fun. That's what happens.
Speaker4: I'm just saying.
Speaker2: That's gross.
Speaker3: What?
Speaker1: Of all the shit you'll have stuck in you, that's the grossest thing that's going to be here?
Speaker2: No one sticks a tongue in my ear.
Speaker1: Guess what? Cole's on a mission to find now somebody's take a tiny there's fetish shoots you better be careful or you'll be fucking oh my god you'll look like the little salty what's the Epsom salt no what was the salt the salt with the little girl Morton Morton salt you'll look like the Morton Salt girl Doing a shoot Holding an umbrella Getting fucking Reined on If you're not careful Just
Speaker2: Say it
Speaker4: Skippity skoo
Speaker1: Anyways that being said Hey great times So Another shout out to our sponsor Again don't forget to keep voting We will absolutely Yeah I know shit Come and save her When she's at Walgreens I'll see you next time. Another shout-out to our sponsor. Again, don't forget to keep voting. We will absolutely – yeah, no shit. Come and save her when she's at Walgreens. Only to just go, open. Look at her. Magic. Don't forget to vote for us on ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. And we'll let everybody know because the top fives will come out on the 1st, on April 1st, which is, I believe, Monday. And that's when the footage is. Hopefully we'll be on some of those as well. So, yeah, check it out. We appreciate it. But do check out our sponsors, ASNLivestowemagazine.com. Three million readers. Can't be wrong. Make sure that you visit them today. Make it a habit each and every month to read the latest edition of the mag as it comes out. Motor Bunny. That top quality sex brand uh toy one that's known for years and years top quality quality product quality service quality company check them out motorbunny.com get the original or the new buck don't forget to go to caswell on porn hub and check out miss amanda as she rides the uh new buck and you can watch her reaction she was was a happy girl. And finally, SmokinMeatsBBQTreats.com, S-M-O-K-I-N-M-E-A-T-S-B-B-Q-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. Get all the flavors. You can use Casbah 15, get a 15% discount, and coming very, very soon, just in time for your barbecue, will be our very own special Casbah blend of meat rub. You won't want to miss that as well. You're going to want that. I promise to make all your barbecue meat taste special. And you can follow us at TruthCrazy on X. Send us emails at crazy.casbah.com. No, crazy.casbah.gmail. Don't forget, you can still sign up for Crazy Summer Nights and Crazy Vegas Nights. We'll be talking more about those. That's coming up. You go to CrazyCasbah.com. Please. These events are going to be off, though. We hope to see you at either the events as well as the crazy Vegas. A link to ASN. It is www.asnlifestylemagazinawards.com awards.com is the link to get and you can vote
Speaker2: and the menu bars nominations
Speaker1: yep and the menu bars nominations so please go check them out so with all that being said kids doing it the only way I know how the only way I want to and the only way I ever motherfucking well Casbah Style
Speaker4: out
Speaker1: bye