Krazy Truth about Swinging #292 Stop you Suck at this!!

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole, and I'm here with Minnie, Mickey, and Sneezy over here next to me, Miss Amanda. Hey, I'm what? Well, one time you're like, eeeh, and you're making all kinds of weird noises. You're like a rabbit in a dog's mouth getting slobbered on. Was I making weird noises? But that's all right. Worried about protecting your ears. Anywho, we're here to Tantelate and Tittleate. We have lots of valuable information that will help you in your lifestyle and journey. I know it's hard to believe, but it's really true. Are you sure about that? No, I'm not. I'm just making that up. Anyways, for those of you who follow along at home, this will be Season 7, Episode 292. We are so close to 300. We are close to 300, but to 300. And that's scary as fuck. Spartans! What is your profession? No, profession. There you go now. Go, go. Oh, oh, no. Hoff. We'll do that. Are we hoffing? We'll do that on the 300th. Well, no, we'll do that on the 300th episode. Oh, there you go. I'll remember that. Probably not. Right now, people completely know the show's over. And stop. You would think they did that the first last 15 minutes because you were just sitting here. But we weren't on the air then. We were just chatting. We were just talking. We weren't recording officially. That was behind-the-scene banter. By the way, I figured out what we're going to be following next year from uh smoking the bandit we're going to be big enus and little enus so for somebody right now that's watching some of our facebook folks at home uh go ahead and google that and put a picture so amanda knows what i'm talking about because she doesn I'm talking about. A picture of Big Enus and Little Enus because that's going to be our Halloween costume for next year. Anyway, so we do have a good show for you. Quick shout out to our sponsors, which we sincerely appreciate as Amanda's busily Googling away. We do appreciate our sponsors. ASN Lifestyle Magazine. We're proud to say that they're one of our primary corporate partners in most everything that we do ASN Lifestyle Magazine get ready, new episodes get ready to drop make it a habit to read your new episode 3 million subscribers or readers cannot be wrong ASNLifestyleMagazine.com today and SmokeAndMeatsBBQTreats.com let me spell that for you s-m-o-k-i-n-m-e-a-t-s b-b-q-t-r-e-a-t-s dot com you don't hurry and get their stuff before uh spring gets here and get ready guess what's coming out that's right we've just closed the deal no you're've got to make sure we go with Smoking the Bandit. Big Enos, Little Enos. Anyways, it's coming soon. We have just cemented a deal, a sponsorship deal, where we will have our own Casbah Signature Blend. That's right. You're going to be able to get our special Signature Blend meat rub now for all of your meats. And there she found the she found the big units and little units uh so make sure you check them out as well as the blue suits are the more iconic one uh also if you want the top name in quality sex toys uh then you want to make sure that you get your very own motor bunny that's right quality product quality service name that you know you can trust motorbunny.com get the original or the brand new buck make sure that your favorite vagina gets off each and every time motorbunny.com we could totally do that yeah we could do that big units little units yep just saying stick with me kid we might go places we'll do that. Bigginess, little weakness. Yep. Just saying. Stick with me, kid. We'll go places. We'll do things. Oh, the places we'll go. So we're getting ready for a big weekend. We actually had a weekend off, which we were sick. So all we did was lay around the house and snot on each other. But we're better now. And we're ready to rip and roar into the weekend of insanity that's going to be happening. I have a little drainage yet. We'll get the rest of it out of our system. It wasn't COVID. We'll get the rest of it out of our system between now and tomorrow. As we head down to Stopping Thursday in St. Louis. Louis. In St. Louis. Where you're going to spit and slob. We're going to spit in Thursday in St. Louis, where you're going to spit and slobber all over somebody for money. Yeah, and then slap their penis around a little bit and do some things like that. And then we're on to Kentucky from there, where we have been informed just earlier. I don't know if he's still on or if he meandered off, that we are that we need to be hydrated and that they're awfully excited to apparently get a succeedingly drunk, so but we've taken a vow of health and so we'll just do the best we can, anyways so yeah, so we'll be at Club Tempted, for those of you listening, because the show will come out tomorrow night. Club Tempted, if you're in the Louisville, Kentucky area, and would like to come out, you certainly can. You do not have to be a member. You can have to buy a one-night membership. We will be out there both nights, both Friday and Saturday night, and coming back on Monday. So we have to party with everybody. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm excited for it it you're excited for it uh our bodies are not excited for it but they'll get over it a little bastard just saying but it should be a good time are we stopping somewhere getting our noses pierced didn't we talk about that didn't you didn't you talk about that the other day you thought about maybe you and i go get our noses pierced i didn't necessarily say like on the way are there oh okay i mean if you really wanted to well i didn't know say, like, on the way or there. Oh, okay.
Speaker2: I mean, if you really wanted to.
Speaker3: Well, I didn't know. I just didn't.
Speaker1: I mean, I don't know. Next day you see me, I could have a nose ring.
Speaker3: Just saying.
Speaker1: We both could. Then we make out. We have to make sure we're on opposite sides. Because what if we make out and got hooked?
Speaker2: It wouldn't work that way.
Speaker1: Are you sure?
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: How do you know?
Speaker4: If it didn't work with braces, it sure as fuck isn't going to work when those rings uh you know what yeah well you know i don't know what are you getting some luby thing uh yeah probably not initially oh yeah i would i hate i hate studs i absolutely despise studs the only thing i fear is the snot thing but i thing. And the only thing you have to fear is fear itself.
Speaker3: Thank you for that political reference.
Speaker1: This is a show where you get edumacated.
Speaker3: So, the thing is is that
Speaker1: what president said that?
Speaker2: We're not
Speaker1: going to do this. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself. He had another relative that was president also. Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Thank you very much. See, look at that. Jot that down. That'll be on the quiz, kids. So, yeah. It's like the cult of personality. Anywho. You've had it. You're going to make fun of me about presidents. When I met you 32 years ago, it was your, it was your, this wasn't voicemail back then. What the fuck was it? It was your answering machine. My answering machine. Yeah. That's a, no, I, you know, what, the cold of personality was on my answering machine. But what my answering machine that I used, the one I really liked was I used the movie clip from Cool Hand Luke and it was off the song Civil War but it was the movie clip and it's where the warden actually re-arrest Cool Hand Luke keeps getting bust down and they catch him and it's like some, you just can't reach.
Speaker4: That's the way they want it.
Speaker1: So they get it.
Speaker4: I don't like it any more than you do.
Speaker3: It goes in the Civil War.
Speaker5: My mom and dad hated that answer machine.
Speaker1: Hated when I had messages like that on there.
Speaker3: Just saying. There you go. I know when I called you, it was the other one. But that's okay.
Speaker1: Well, yeah, I've changed around. I was a poli-sci major. I know. So I put cool stuff on there. Intelligence for your brain. I made you think when you called me. If you weren't going to talk to me, you were going to have to think. If you actually answered, you have probably no thinking required. Just saying.
Speaker2: What the fuck? That's before caller ID.
Speaker3: Uh-huh.
Speaker1: It was.
Speaker4: It was.
Speaker1: But you never had to call me because all you had to do was roll over and go, hey.
Speaker2: That's not true because I've called you or else I wouldn't have known that was on your phone.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: A couple of times. That was when I was off drinking and you were giving birth to our first child and I wasn't there.
Speaker2: There was that.
Speaker1: There was that whole, that whole, that was a lot of, I made it when I was off drinking and you were giving birth to our first child and I wasn't there. There was that. There was that whole that was a lot of it. I made it before the little fucker popped out.
Speaker2: Yeah, you did.
Speaker3: Shwoo.
Speaker1: That was fun. That's a great story. We'll share that sometime. Won't make you want to have sex with other people, but it sure is
Speaker3: funny.
Speaker2: Funny for you.
Speaker1: Well, I think we can all these years all sit back and laugh about it now i mean there's less anger and animosity now that i wasn't there for the first 13 hours you were in labor because i was off drinking but i think we're better now i don't think it was that long five in the morning was the first message I got. Well, that's because it wasn't. I don't feel right. And the last message I got was, you son of a bitch, I'm at the hospital. George is taking me here. Are you ever going to get up here at the birth of your own fucking kid, you piece of shit? No, it wasn't quite like that. Shit. It was close. Oh, I'm sorry. I hope you make it. Love you. It was not like that. I can tell you that. No. You can't remember what you say two days ago. Don't tell me what the fuck the message said 32 years ago. Because I remember it vividly as all my friends were standing there looking at me going, oh, fuck. And we just had a blizzard. I couldn't find my fucking car under a foot and a half of snow. That's why somebody else took me to the hospital. Right. But I found my car. Yeah, well, I'm excited to drink it. was drinking anyways it happens okay we done that's what built our relationship to what it is today um uh anyway so there you go hey so you know first thing we're going to talk about tonight uh is we're going to talk about the power of a kiss the power of a kiss. The power of a lip lock. The complete and oh my god, unimaginable ability that one single kiss can have on a lifestyle and an event because at a party we were at a couple weeks ago you were tongue attacked out of the blue all of a sudden this tongue just went No, it's like There was a rash Do you have glitter on your face? I did, I was fucking around but rolling with strippers After, later, there was a rash of flu that floated around. Now, here's the unique thing about Miss Amanda. If you give Miss Amanda weed and she's drunk, it will sober her right the fuck up. Drugs do not have the same effect on her. So, like, if you give me weed, I get all, like, munchy and fucking mellow.
Speaker2: And giggly.
Speaker3: And giggly.
Speaker1: I get giggly with that thing because I'm a happy person. I'm like a big, fat penguin. Right. Drugs don't do that with her. Her new nickname is Mosquito. Here's why. Mosquitoes can go and suck the blood of somebody with malaria. They don't get malaria, but the next person they go suck blood to, they give them the malaria. It's kind of the same thing with Miss Amanda. So she gets a little drainage. She proceeds to pass, not once, but twice twice pass on said said tongue or allegedly we don't know for a fact we're gonna go allegedly so here's a very important thing when you want to tongue fuck somebody or you want to want to tongue slobber them sneak attacks are not an okay thing the way to do that because that wouldn't have happened if there'd been if there'd been asking whatever so please don't underestimate the power the power of your slobber.
Speaker2: And here I thought you were going to get into the passionate.
Speaker1: I was, but I thought we'd start with the first one.
Speaker2: Make your heart fucking drop.
Speaker1: Well, let's get through the bad part first.
Speaker3: Four?
Speaker1: Well, you, him, me, her. I didn't know she got it. I don't know. I don't know. You're the mosquito. I don't know what you do. I'm just saying. No, okay, you want to talk about the power of kids. Yes, we will talk about that. Your phone's dirty and it has this black thing on my forehead. That's a duck. Anyway, so we will talk about the power of kids. But I wanted to talk about that part first. Okay. Because we probably should talk about proper kissing and not proper kissing. To a degree. Okay. Because kissing is a huge part of the lifestyle. For some people, maybe that's against your rules. That's fine. That's how big a video kissing is. For some people maybe that's against your rules that's fine that's how big a video cast is for some people it's totally against their rules so keep your lips to yourself the ones up above keep those to yourself i i can't i look everybody has their own rules but i always i think that's funny because i don't get it to me sticking my dick in something that's more passionate or more intimate but yeah maybe not i don't know it is what it is so here's the thing but there's porn kissing and now wait a minute but here's the thing now that you you're shooting you can actually explain why they kiss that way no i came up with with a reason of why they kiss that way so they don't mess up their makeup and yes there's that and just like why do they use healing for the camera it isn't to get you they don't fucking bury their head in your pussy like i do your pussy because the camera doesn't want to see my big fat forehead a pair of eyes like ziggy over your fucking over your clit they want to see more than that because that's not people jack off to so it's it's that same thing it's about angles it's about look but now so it's great when somebody eats your pussy in porn and you get now you get off fucking super easy having your pussy eaten, correct?
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: Like, it's just like, we're ready to go. Not quite that easy, but we're ready to go.
Speaker2: I was going to say, it takes a little bit more effort.
Speaker1: Not much. For 30 years, my tongue would go numb, my jaw would hurt, my neck would kink, and maybe she'd be like, well, that feels really good. And if I actually had to swallow or breathe, we had to start all the way over again. And she wasn't shaved back then, so then it was like cat on fur. It was not. And you weren't really getting that much out of it. No. All you were getting was a matted down like a wet shag carpet, and I was getting fucking numb lips. But now, because of testosterone and things you're you get it get you off when when you were shooting lawsuits and they licked your pussy how many times of the three dudes that ate your pussy how many times did you get off with them zero exactly because it's not designed that way the The reason I'm saying this is, so think about this in your real life fucking thing because remember, in swinging, the goal isn't for the angles, it's to actually, for everybody to ideally get off. So doing the... Stick your tongue out. So doing, for those who aren't watching, we're doing... Stick your tongue out. So, doing... For those who aren't watching, we're doing... Stick your tongue out. It's not going to fucking do it. Don't do that. You flobbered on me, you fucking ass. Don't do that. Remember, there's a couple things that girls don't want. They don't want... I can say as a guy with a beard, because beard because it holds water i don't need from ear to ear to be a fucking sloppy pool of slobber i'll get that when i go down on you i don't need a sloppy pool like that right and most women don't really want to have their fucking makeup and everything just a slobbering mess. Some probably do. You find me, somebody goes, you know how I want to be kissed? I want to be kissed like as if you were a cow or a giraffe wrapping their tongue around your head. If you can find me five people, you know what, now we're going to have a goal. At this weekend, if we can find five people that just want to be
Speaker2: Oh my God, you're closing me out.
Speaker1: And have me fucking slobbered all over on kissing. I'll buy you a coach purse.
Speaker3: I'll buy you
Speaker2: What money?
Speaker1: Yours. Seriously. You're not going to find anybody who wants that. No one wants that. I can't speak for everybody. I don't necessarily care for my makeup. My makeup is my safety blanket. You actually believe. I want to make sure we're getting this out there so I understand. You actually believe that there's somebody out there that they just want the messiest fucking dip in your head in the cake fucking kiss out there. Yeah, I'm sure there are. You've lost your fucking mind. Why? You've lost your mind. No way. No way. There's kinks for everything. The one who's asking me that question, who's asking me how was your kiss, it was very, very good. Just so you know. And that's when we go with kinks. Maybe, but I'm not buying it. I'm not buying that there's a million people that are just like, I want to be waterboarded. So do we take a poll on guys versus girls? I'm going to be honest. Yeah, we can. I'm going to tell you, I understand there are great kissers. There are shitty kissers. There are okay kissers. And here's's the thing there's a general can here's what i have found through through 13 years multiple people age ranges sexes only have all said the same about you you're a great kisser so there must be something that makes predominantly a great kisser there There has to be. There has to be. Have you ever just slobbered profusely all over somebody's face? Not for money. I had a girl lick my beard. And I almost threw up. I can't. I'm just not. There are people that have. You have dogs. You're a fur baby mom. And you're like, we don't lick mom's face. I understand. Like, it doesn't bother me because, you know, it's an animal pet thing. They're showing you love. Exactly. And we're getting reports that Miss Amanda is an amazing kisser. She is an amazing kisser. I like it soft. Soft and gentle, but with... I can say with passion. I am going to go out on a limb, and I'm just going to say, if you feel like if you open your eyes for a brief second
Speaker3: when you're kissing I am going to go out on a limb, and I'm just going to say, if you feel like, if you open
Speaker1: your eyes for a brief second when you're kissing, picture what you're seeing, go to YouTube and fucking pull up a video of a cow's tongue, and if it's similar. You're doing it wrong. Look. I have seen a giraffe. Look. I had a girlfriend. One time we went to the zoo. And the giraffes. At Henry Dora Zoo at that time. You could feed the giraffes. Like outside. I met him. And she bent over. And the giraffe had this huge long green tongue. And wrapped around her hair. And started eating her hair. And about tongue this this long and it would just slobber everywhere. If that is what the person you just got done kissing looks like afterwards. If they need a squeegee. Okay, so I met up with this one guy. Right. We didn't do anything but make out. Aww. Thank God I was going home afterwards because he had this big wide tongue he's just like all over my face i'm just like but then it wasn't like a dry tongue like let's just tease with the tongue it was like just slobber i don't know it was he also let you squirt on his crush floor seats they weren't crushed floor it was cloth seats but that's besides still flavor savers uh look everybody some people do kiss harder some people kiss softer some people whatever some people have the gentle some people which which this, now I don't know, but this would be an answer. This is just a total conjecture on my part. Total conjecture. Part of me thinks that for some people, the reason the act of kissing is off limits, and I would love to hear people's feedback on this, is because if you run into somebody that kisses like we do, right? Okay. Because i think you and i kiss very similar it can look very very passionate so if you're somebody if if you're not you're like stiff you're a stiff kisser nothing wrong with that but it's like and you're like like stiff and then you see somebody kiss your significant other that's not, I could see how that could then appear too passionate. Totally understand. So that rule can make sense to me. But we also know somebody that she judges a person by their kiss. If they don't kiss good, she will not hook up with them. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, here's the, I've seen this question on Reddit before and other places. How do you tell someone they're a bad kisser? And I don't, you know, I don't know that you can actually tell anybody they're a bad kisser they may not be your style of kisser but it doesn't necessarily mean i was gonna say everybody likes it a bad a bad kisser some people like that form of like aggressive or at least i would think it would be aggressive to them you can be aggressive and still have a soft time me up to a wall hold my hands up and just kiss me like crazy and i will melt like a congratulations for saying that and now we'll need security for that because there'll be a lineup it'll be ride the miss amanda ride well i didn't say ram me up against the wall back me up into against against the wall i'm just i'll melt into a puddle but if you spin her around you can ram her and then kiss her neck real soft She likes that. Just saying. I'm just out melting to a puddle. But if you spin her around, you can ram her and then kiss her neck real soft. She likes that.
Speaker3: I'm just saying.
Speaker1: Okay, so how do you help somebody? If somebody sits down here, they need help on being a better kisser. How would you help somebody to be a better kisser? well first of all do you as a female, that you could say to a guy, Hey, I really like you. Hey, we're having a lot of fun. Hey, you're kind of a shitty kisser. Or, hey, that's a wrong word. or whatever, word or hey hey as all of you that are agreeing with miss amanda i'm duly noting all that just so you fucking know okay and i don't forget shit it's it's just that is just like this form of passion but with assertion i've always had great intentions with different girls when I was hooked up with them when we were going to meet in a hotel room. I had this planned out that that was my plan. Actually, I've done it
Speaker3: with one girl.
Speaker1: As soon as the elevator
Speaker3: went closed,
Speaker1: as soon as the hotel room
Speaker3: went closed.
Speaker2: Remember you told me about that.
Speaker1: Yeah, that was hot as fuck. Anyways, but can you say that? Can you say that I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know if you tell me about that. Yeah, that was not as good. Anyways, but can you say that? Can you say that? Or would that be too mean? I mean, you can't be like a cunt about it and be like, hey, you know what? You suck at kissing until you get it right. No, but you could somewhat lead them, I believe. You don't necessarily, if someone comes at you with just a tear, a tear, tongue, shoving down it, you know, kiss me a little bit first, then tease with the tongue to see what I'm going to do. But if I don't stick my tongue out, I wouldn't stick your tongue out.
Speaker1: So mirror you.
Speaker2: It should be, you should read off of it.
Speaker1: But could you ever say this? Could you ever say? If I was really into something.
Speaker3: Well.
Speaker1: For those of you not watching this, I have a notepad and a pen. I'm making notes with names.
Speaker2: Got it. You're so funny.
Speaker3: Anyway.
Speaker1: You questioning me? Pull hair.
Speaker2: I'm sorry.
Speaker3: And.
Speaker1: Keep talking. I gotta keep writing.
Speaker2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker1: I have a photograph in memory i'll remember don't
Speaker2: worry i'll think about what i'm jacking off like anyways go ahead just see if you're listening but if you're really into somebody and you think it'll work out for more than a hookup or something then you know you can probably go hey can you be a little gentler on your kisses or something Or I like kisses more gentle
Speaker3: So Ellen puts people sometimes very fast hey, can you be a little gentler on your kisses or something? Or I like kisses more gentle.
Speaker1: So Ellen puts people sometimes right past the kissing part. The reason why I ask that is that, okay, as a guy, okay, there becomes a... Here's an interesting part of the lifestyle, okay? And kissing is a really good, easy way to get into this. It's a broader example of this. The first time you gave me a blowjob, you were new at it, and it was fucking hot. Never done it before. Never done it before. It was hot because you instigated it, and you were willing to do it i mean the whole nine yards and the blow job the blow job itself was horrible i know and at 20 years old i was like appreciate stop appreciate the effort but no you you when we got to the car you go i appreciate what you did, but I think you need to watch some videos. And I want to do a note to all you motherfuckers that I did say, my star, that I really appreciated what you did.
Speaker3: Yeah. Okay?
Speaker2: You could use some practice. You might watch some videos.
Speaker1: In the lifestyle, there's a lot of times if a girl is not very good at sucking dick, you will tolerate it for a while, right? Because until – but eventually it's easy to make the transition. Okay, pop them off of the hat and transition to something else. And I know, I know 100% that for girls, most guys suck at eating them out so i'm sure it's like okay let's stop it well if you don't like something then you can rush into the next but i think there's a lot of times again that we go longer because we are afraid it's funny funny. There's not an emotional attachment most of these situations, and yet we are afraid to say, stop. True. I'm going to put it just out there, okay? By the way, all of you that do OnlyFans, you're all fucking sex workers, so you get here. This is not an offensive thing. But if you're paying somebody, if you're paying a sex worker hooker, whatever you want to call them, escort if I'm paying for a blowjob and she sucks at it I'm going to say stop you're horrible at that. Yeah well I'd hope so, you're paying for it. But we won't do that. And we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. And except, if you throw it in, it's not supposed to be very feeling tied into this. Even for people that want to get to know each other and need to be friends first. The emotional thing of being afraid to hurt someone's feelings why why do we feel that way what's wrong with saying hey i stop that that doesn't feel good hey don't do that that way i don't like that that hurts like if certainly if you're getting an angle that hurts on how you're you're getting fucked or Eldon put, I love instructions. It's all about the pleasing instructions. Make it seem hotter to me. Jessica put, I stop people in swinging. If they suck, I don't care about feelings. I guess
Speaker2: I do because we're all different and just because somebody likes
Speaker1: to be eaten at a certain way, the next person might not like it. So kissing could be the same. But I'm just overall, I think that when we first got into it, you weren't as apt to tell somebody to stop. Unless it really hurt. Have I ever told somebody to stop? Yes, you have. You have. When have when we first gotten from lifestyle you would find creative ways to tell people to stop well yeah i'm oh the booze is hitting me wrong yeah right you know and but the thing is i guess my question is what's wrong with just saying okay hey that's not feeling good we stop if if someone gets offended about that should we care it's a hookup should we care i mean it's it's different okay and take the poly part out take Take the continuous play partner out. You know, that long-term friend of the benefit that you have a different relationship with. I'm talking about that you finally hooked up, whether you've become friends first or sport fuckers. Should you really care or worry about saying, okay, stop. I'm sorry. I don't like how that feels stop
Speaker2: well even if it offends them okay but wait what if you're friends with them like we're friends with a couple and he i don't care for his kissing the the sex is awesome but
Speaker1: i didn't care for his kissing the thing as a friend if if i don't want to hurt a friend because but if you lose them for good then you don't but at that point in time would there be you can
Speaker3: That's it. I don't want to hurt a friend, but if you lose them for good, then you don't...
Speaker1: But at that point in time, you can either A, steer it away so it doesn't have to be about a lot of kissing, or there's nothing wrong. I think at that point in time, women can sometimes have more power there, because if you don't like the kissing, well, once you head south, I'm going to stop kissing not gonna go no no no no we have to finish kissing get away from my penis with your mouth no get back up here young lady right i'm not done making out not very many guys are like four four play only get your dick out of my mouth we're gonna be like okay i i mean that i i guess my question is and if your friend's too degree to go to be able to say i love fucking you it's incredible it's awesome dude you i i hate making out with you but i love fucking you you. I mean, as friends, can't you... You think about some of the things we have said and said to friends, naked. And I think that we put it in our own mind, we as just people in general, that a friend is going to be offended by that. When you're laying there naked going, that was incredible sex. The kissing, I'm I'm not in but the sex is incredible it's probably I don't think it's going to be as big a deal as it is part of the reason you are so tremendous and and honestly here's if you're listening to this and you want to figure out how to be good at eating a girl out guys and girls you are my idol when it comes to this you're my idol when it comes to this and i've taken a lot of cues from you with this because you've taught me a lot because i'm like they keep squirming to get away you're like they're squirming to try to find the spot quit fighting you know i'm like pinning them down you're like you don't listen to that now i'm like going oh and then you're like, now because I know I can chill forever. And now because you say fucking damn it, part of the time you're trying to not squirt. But the thing is, is that what has always been so impressive is that I have watched you. If you're not getting a reaction or you don't feel like you're getting a reaction, you stop. And it's like a little, it's like a whack-a-mole. And you're like, pop up and you're like, do you like it above the clit, below the clit? What? Do you like it above the clit, below the clit? You ask them exactly what they want, and then dive right back in. Where most of us, as guys especially, we're idiots. We don't want to ask for directions. Where is that gas station? Licking her knees. But you ask. Everybody's different. And then the other thing you've done, and there's very few girls I've seen you not get off there's been a few yeah and i'm not talking like like uh nazi doesn't count because that's was that was work that was porn yeah but there's been a couple girls that you have not gotten off but you realize that once you realize it i stop you stop yeah you know you stop and things move on from there and and i think that it's like okay that's like that's really cool i i honest god believe at some point i'm kidding we should have a fucking pussy eating fucking class because seriously the most important some of the things that you have told me you know the most valuable golden piece of information ever is it doesn't matter how I like it just because I like it a certain way doesn't mean that she likes it that way right but my thing overall is I think so many, I think in the lifestyle there are a lot of and I'm willing to do whatever works to find out how much it takes I think that there's a lot of people that are afraid to say I'll see you next time. And I'm willing to do whatever works to find out how much it takes, just so you know. I think that there's a lot of people that are afraid to say what they like or don't like, right? And in turn, then they don't, their experience is shitty, right? Because I think the problem becomes, like, there's like a script in our mind and we've talked about this before so you know i'd rather have a girl i guess i'm to the point now where i'd rather have a girl say i don't like dog here i don't i look i don't want to fucking get a leg cramp doing something that I think she wants, when in reality she hates that position. Like that, you know, I don't know. To me, that's being honest. So if a girl says that they don't care to be eaten out, do you give it a try, or do you just skip that and go right down to the sex? Okay, I'm going to have somebody right now that's going to fucking yip at this and say, nah, but no, then I skip it. Now, if I've known him for a while and we've been friends with benefits for a while, I'm going to be a fucking dick and push it sometime and go, come on, at least give me a shot. You don't know if you like it or not for me. It's like a different type of yeah but as a general no because they don't like it then fine then you know no i don't you know because before before testosterone it's like why even try yes why even try to get me off you're not going to oh i'm sure i can make can make you happen. So I let guys do it. And I go, all right, I'm done. Yeah. Tapping out. Yeah. I don't think. If that offends some people, I'm sorry. The thing is, is that I feel like there's a point. and there's a point, fair enough, that you reach in this where it's like, I don't care what the script is supposed to be. I want it to be, I just want everybody to have fun. I want everybody to have a good time. Look, you reach a certain age, I don't care what drugs you're taking, I don don't care what you're doing where it's a hit and miss if shit's gonna work for men and women for one it's your odds of fucking leg cramps foot cramps god knows what cramps substantially whatever you're researching i don't want to dick around doing shit what we're supposed to do and it should shit nobody likes. Lately I've been getting the cramp along the arch of my foot. Oh my god. Oh that is horrible. I am paying dearly for the first event we went to camp out we went to and I was getting more booze out of our tent and the guy came rolling out of the tent yelling leg cramp when I went down and told everybody we were laughing.
Speaker3: Yeah, real fucking funny.
Speaker2: Karma has come back and fucked me.
Speaker1: Good. But it's like, okay, no, let's just do what everybody's like. I think that one of the coolest parts of getting older in the lifestyle and becoming more honest is a willingness to just fucking be honest about everything. Here's the deal. We have always been, we will always be, partner's choice on condoms different if it depends on shoots and stuff like that, obviously. I don't care who you are. If you would like me to wear a condom, I'm 100% in with that. And now I'm finally smart enough that 51, almost 52 years old, I'm going to tell you straight up, there's only one way that's going to work. You have to put it on me. Because, quite honestly, I look like a monkey fucking a football trying to open the motherfucker. I'm going to get sweaty and I'll Jojo the Circus Monkey. And you know what? By the time I finally get that fucker open and on, I'm trying to shove a deflated balloon in another balloon. It ain't going to work. There's no shame in going okay this is what i need there's no shame in going you're gonna have to suck it for a little bit we're gonna you're gonna have to do something with it you're gonna have to give me a minute to before it's gonna get there uh one of the biggest mistakes and a lot of guys do this our go-to move when our dick doesn't work I don't know. one of the biggest mistakes, and a lot of guys do this, our go-to move when our dick doesn't work is to eat pussy. It's to eat pussy. So here's what we do. Think about this, guys. Sorry if you think I'm letting a guy secret out. I'm not. They've already figured it out. So immediately, we panic. Our dick's not hard. Fuck.
Speaker2: So we immediately drop down and start doing the one sect act that we're the worst at. That's the dumbest fucking thing you could possibly do. What am I probably not going to hit the right spot on and do it completely wrong? I know, eat her pussy. She'll never know my dick's not not hard now and and the whole time you're what you do shitty when you're focused on it you're gonna do even worse because you're not even focusing on it you could be licking her fucking kneecap you don't know because all you're thinking about is your dick not working at some point in time when she goes you're licking the bed what you're not even you're like she's over on the other side and you're just like ah licking a pillow because you're thinking about your dick not working why not instead just go okay she ain't working yet so I know where probably one of my hangups on being mean to her because you said when I was explaining when okay when i first moved to omaha i was what 18 we went camping with me and a girl i work with went camping with these two guys i actually used a covered wagon to get out to the camp shut up so i ended up staying in the tent with this one guy well i didn't know him that well but that didn't didn't stop you. I never did. Precursor! But I couldn't feel anything. I don't know if it was size. I don't know if I was really wet. I don't know what the case was, but I asked him to stop because I couldn't feel it. And you're like, wow, what a bitch. And fast forward 32 years later, and you know what? what and so i'm like now paranoid i don't want to come off as a bitch and hurt somebody's feelings no but if he found out you're in porn now he's probably like come on bitch we're gonna do content now i'll show you your feelings oh no so i don't want to do that because you know that was it was mean i'm not so so let me ask this to the ladies as a guy if you get super wet guess what i'm gonna stop you are some people like i'm gonna stop because at that point in time i'm not feeling anything and. And my dick's going to go soft. I've actually had situations now. And again, this is getting older age and go, hold on one second. One gal that came over who was a fucking waterworks. Like, oh, look, you touched her arm. Yeah. Okay. Didn't have enough towels in the house. I finally got with her i would stop and she's like i'm gonna grab one of the towels on the other side of the bin and dry my dick off and i'd fucking dry her pussy off and i'm like i'm like i can't feel anything and and she started getting but she was embarrassed. Not you. It's a compliment because you're obviously enjoying it. Rock on. It's me, but it's going to go down. I guess I've reached that point in my 50s where I'm willing to say, you know what, we're going to have to lay here a minute. We're just going to hang out for a minute. It's going to take a minute. It's still embarrassing when shit doesn't work, but trying to fucking take and wad your penis up and shove it in and hoping it'll go like you can blow in your butthole, it'll get hard. It ain't going to work. Right. And when you finally realize as a guy, when you go, I've wadded my dick up like a man bun and shoved it under her pussy. She knows it's not hard. If I shoved a balloon full of cocaine up her ass, it'd feel better than this. I'm not sneaking anything by her. When you finally realize that, you're willing to go, hey, we've got to get in time. Okay, if it's partially, sometimes I can't tell. I'm saying when you have to wad it up. I know. When you're stuffing it with two hands, like trying to refill a stuffed animal with the stuff and the dog's ripped out. She knows you're stuffing a limp dick in her pussy. And you can go like this all you want. And all you're doing is wad it up right at the end. It's like a spit water twat. And she ain't fucking buying it. Oh, my God. The thing is, is, you know what? What I didn't understand when we first got into this was trying to fake that shit was like going, I'm assuming you're so fucking stupid, you won't know. Well, when you're new, though, you don't. But now, I'd rather say, shit ain't working. Give me a minute.
Speaker1: Either give it a minute, and if shit ain't going to work, to go, I'm really sorry, shit ain't working. There are people currently that will hear this show, or currently, whatever, that have been friends with Benefit with me for a long time, that I've had to say, in the last two months sorry she didn't work in today i've done it you know i've done the same thing with you've done it to me to you uh you know it's the same it's the same thing so we just got asked what about when we dry up you know what here's what if you're a female and you're with me at least and and it starts to dry one usually guys can feel it well you didn't with me a couple times when i was having the dry issues and i'm like it's dry and we need some lube and you're like well it still feels wet to me to me it doesn't we need some and once i understood that concept better now it's like i would much rather i will never be offended if somebody says stop here i need some lube new or stop that that's it because when as guys when we finally get mature a little bit and we go, you know what? When you actually, you look at the girl and you're having sex with her, and all of a sudden that look on her face is obviously pain. You know, that's, that's, no, that's not a win situation. You know what? Here's the deal. if that part's done you know what if you want to help me out toggle away a little bit help me out kick ass super appreciate it just like as guys don't be offended i used to be offended when we when you would get out of dildo because i didn't understand the difference between a clitoral uh orgasm and a fucking orgasm or if i can't get it feels better then don't worry about it you know what if if you can't go but you can help get her off by a lot of girls talking about why they're holding their throat or sucking a nibble while she gets off then appreciate the moment if you if you dry out and it's starting to hurt and you're done and you can help him you know pull one and finish help him manually get off then rock on that's super cool to do it's so much better to just be honest than try to bullshit i mean we talk about all the time we don't want to hurt people's feelings yet when we're not honest when we don't say it's not working or i'm not feeling or ouch it hurts or whatever the case may be we're actually then it almost can come across that's when the conversation when people leave and go their separate way goes what do you think i was a fucking idiot you know I can't tell the difference between three fingers and a fucking soggy dick shoving up my cooter you know or I mean my god I you know yeah now that my fucking cooter is just shredded because he just kept fucking hurt I mean it those types of things that is the lifestyle is actually way more fun when everybody's honest. I can tell you, you can have way more fun if shit ain't working, laying there naked, talking, joking, cracking jokes, and then all of a sudden, it's really weird. All of a sudden, shit just kind of starts to work. Not every time, but a lot of the time. Because all of a sudden, there's no pressure. You're not in your own head about your shit. Everybody's having fun. And it's amazing. if you're new and you haven't had one of these nights yet, when you have one, you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you're in this middle line, you've had one of these nights where that fucking night, the night where you have, you and another couple have hooked up, or a couple of couples, whatever the case may be. And there's a whole lot of fucking, but there's a whole lot of fucking around in between. And it's like this, everybody's fucking and then everybody's sitting there talking. And all of a sudden one couple starts fucking around again and then it dries dries up. And then people are cracking jokes and laughing and having fun. And it's truly like a naked party. When you have that night, you'll understand why swinging is so fucking awesome. And it's because everybody was just being fucking real. That's the best part of it. And that's the part that I think too many people miss and and get away from when you have lost the ability to get to do that so you and i are a perfect example of this right we don't fuck at our events or rarely because not that we haven't had a lot of people that we were really interested in want to fuck.
Speaker2: Or wanted to, or planned on it. It just gets too busy.
Speaker1: It's, we're, we feel we have a responsibility. And we don't want to hurt other people's feelings by hooking up with one couple and that other couple's and whatever. As we, we found it how much fun it was in Wichita to get to go and just be us. Yes, there are people that know us. Anywhere we go because of what we do, people know us. That's all right, but it's not the same as it's not our event. So for us to go to Kentucky this weekend, who knows if we will or won't hook up. There's no expectations because that's still the best way to go to any event but it's really cool to know that if we want to if the opportunity presents itself we can't and and i think we're more appreciative of that now because it's been so many years that hasn't been the case when it's just our events. That's really the whole thing. That's the part that makes it, you know, and now we're willing to be fucking on it. We don't do anything anymore we don't want to. No. The days of us like, well, we just have to tolerate it. We don't have to tolerate shit. And that's not because of anything special that we are. That's because we've learned we don't have to tolerate shit.
Speaker3: And that's what everybody has to learn.
Speaker1: Every single one, whether it's your very first experience or it's your 10,000th experience, you don't have to tolerate anything.
Speaker3: You don't have to just have to, well, because we have to.
Speaker1: No, that's not how this works. And being honest is huge.
Speaker4: Wow, you'd totally talk through an hour of this shit. Well, if somebody else would fucking go to some of the planning meetings, they could talk about shit, too.
Speaker3: You actually were busy today. You were very busy today. Today, like, flew by. Well, you were busy. You were busy getting busy today. Today, like, flew by. Well, you were busy.
Speaker4: You were busy getting outfits ready for Exotica and this weekend.
Speaker1: And you were busy, and you were busy working on logos and stuff because we got new, we got really, really cool new backdrops and some really cool shit being made, being done. I mean, badass shit. And then just, we haven't even started to pack yet.
Speaker3: Thank you. made being done i mean badass shit and then just we haven't even started to pack yet ish i mean a little bit but we got to start packing because we will be on the road and stuff so we will try to go live we will not be able to go live in the club i don't believe unless we go in before hours right i mean there may be some area that we'll be able to go to, and hopefully we can go live on a couple of things to share,
Speaker1: because we are super excited about. We're excited because we're going both nights. So the Friday night, excuse me, is the Fun Pineapples. It's their event. And then Saturday is just regular night at the club. So we we're gonna get to see the club in a private event setting and then we're also going to get to go and the club is being very attempt it's tempted and they're being very cool they're giving us free tickets so we can come back saturday and just come be guests at the club saturday night which is their busy night of the week obviously so it's super cool so we're gonna get to see people it's like three floors it's yeah there's vip sections there's playrooms there's it's it's byob uh very very classy very it's gonna be a lot of fun and we're getting to see and what's really cool so we've been talking to the owners a little bit and a bunch of people have already commented on some of our other things that they're excited to meet us. We've got some people going to meet us. We're going to be down there with ASN. So with Michael Ramos and Bex and crew, they're going to be there. And dear Nikki's going to be there and she's got a bunch of people that are coming to meet her. And so we're going to have a bunch of people excited when they found out that you're coming, when they put two and two together. So we're going to get to meet some people and I don't know. And so we're going to have a bunch of people excited when they found out that you're coming when they put two and two together. So we're going to get to meet some people. And, yeah, two nights of just getting to fucking have fun. And it's supposed to be nice weather. And we're going to explore Louisville, Kentucky a little bit during the day, I think. And we're going to be in St. Louis Thursday. So Thursday night we're looking looking for something to do in st louis so i put some feelers out to see if maybe there's anything i've heard in st louis that there is a really cool uh lifestyle coffee shop really to go to so i'm hoping to get some information on that so maybe we can check that out or if somebody knows there's something cool to do st louis or some people want to get a hold of us to go do dinner or something okay we're gonna have an airbnb we're gonna have an airbnb we're excited so cool but all right so with that being said wow we did talk our way through uh hey make sure you check out make sure you check out our events don't forget about vegas crazy vegas nights crazy summer nights the june edition is coming up really fucking quick uh make sure you go to CrazyCasbah.com and get tickets. Shout out to our sponsors again. You can say the fucking sponsors. Damn it. Smokin' Meats, Barbecue Treats. That's S-M-O-K-I-N M-E-A-T-S B-B-Q-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. Casbah 15, you can get a discount on all of their flavors. We will be announcing soon when our special blend is coming out, the special Casbah blend. You'll want to get that. Motorbunny.com, the most trusted name in sex toys. Absolutely, yeah, we're going to be hydrating like motherfuckers. And ASNLifestyleMagazine.com, 3 million readers, can't be wrong. Check them out. The newest episode or edition of ASNLifestyleMagazine.com is going to drop in two days, three days, the 1st of March. And be watching because they're going to be talking about their new, the nominations are coming up to nominate. We've got a couple things we want to get the nominators for for some ASN awards, KWN and whatnot. So, that being said, don't forget to follow Miss Amanda again on, follow us on Twitter and follow us everywhere. Visit Miss Amanda's site, missamanda.net You want to visit Honeybee honeybee.net Also, we're helping another one Fuck I'm tired There you go And so somebody Fuck she's tired That means she just came Let's check Yep Drip Alright That being said kids Doing it the only way I know how The only way I want to The only way I ever Motherfucking will We'll be going live While we're on the road down there Why would someone beat the shit out of each other
Speaker2: That's how we fight out information along the way
Speaker1: We'll be showing titties and stuff We'll be posting dirty shit on Twitter And then kids can't post it on Facebook
Speaker3: Just there
Speaker2: Wait, what? Is that what you're doing? Is that how you're doing it? Bye!