Krazy Truth about Swinging #265 The perfect imperfections

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and not tired until we get into the room, Miss Amanda. Hey. We're here to chant it late and titillate. We're just glad everything's working because we love our studio. Anywho, for those of you following along, you may be seeing us on Facebook. You may be listening to us on Thursday. You may be on YouTube live with us right now. We don't really know. But wherever you are, we're sure glad you're here. Thanks for being here. This is Season 6, Episode 265 for those of you following along at home. Anything you want to say yet? Hey. No, you already said that. Anything else you want to say? No, you're good. Okay, perfect. Awesome. You need to practice. I need to practice what? Give it a try.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: Just keep going. You've got to be able to do it with people with boom operators and somebody with a meat tray.
Speaker2: Come on, give it a try.
Speaker3: I'll be getting fucked in the process, so it's all good.
Speaker2: Just go. Not necessarily. Keep going.
Speaker1: Maybe we'll be flaccid. Maybe we'll just be being slapped around with a flaccid wiener.
Speaker3: I can fake it.
Speaker2: Keep going.
Speaker1: Well, we want to hear it. I make people practice a kiss.
Speaker2: Fake it.
Speaker1: Practice it.
Speaker2: We did that last week. Go. No, we didn't. Yeah, we did. What? Slapping around with a falacid wiener? Why the hell was I? Anyways. All right. Whatever. Shout out to our sponsors because that's what pays the bills as we get going on this little shenanigan. Hey, do you want the top quality sex toy? One with a well-known name. Known for quality, longevity, and so much more. Of course you do. That's why you're going to go to visit MotorBunny.com. You can get a MotorBunny original or the new Buck. I want to try it out. If you want to tune in, in the near future we'll have some videos of Miss Amanda trying the Buck and riding the original MotorBunny on her OnlyFans page. So check that out. We're super excited to have Motor Bunny with us. Also, you know what time of year it is. I sure do. It's meat rubbing time. Smokinmeatsbbqtreats.com are good friends. It's a swinger business, but it's not just for swingers. If you love quality meats and meat rubs, you'll want to check them outickory dust lemon pepper sbg orange mango habanero or their their swinger delight pineapple paradise check it out the rubs we've used their meat rubs multiple times for ksn we'll be using again this year as well and don't forget you know what sex is good sex is fun we all enjoy it but nobody likes to splash around in the kiddie pool of cum that ends the night now you don't have to with your no more wet spots blanket that's right no more wet spots specifically designed for bodily fluids designed to be machine washable machine dryable no crinkle sound effects put it in your sex bag for everywhere you go today and don't forget to use full swap in the promo code and get 10% off of your next No More White Spot blanket. They're also a sponsor and will be out at KSN as well. So there you go. Awesome. So we're getting all ready. You said that really fast. I said what really fast? All that. Go ahead. I did. I talk fast. It's what I do. I fuck fast, too, sometimes i go slow sometimes i go fast i'm like an album sometimes i'm like oh oh sometimes it just kind of depends sometimes it's just right in the middle wow wow you just never know what you're gonna get turn the needle see what it in. Who knows? Hopefully it doesn't scratch or miss a beat. Anyways. So, yeah. There you go. So, we're getting all excited. We're trying to pack. We haven't started packing yet. But we're getting excited because, hey, KSN is coming up. It's my birthday. That means I'm getting older. So, yeah. There you go. Imagine that. But also, so KSN is coming up in like a month, because today is July 5th, so it's actually just, yeah, we're in the 20 days now away. Shwoot, that'll cut me not gray up. Anywho, but between now and then, we leave in a week from yesterday. We leave to go to head down to Exotica. Yeah, today's Wednesday. I'm confused on my days. No shit. Well, I'm recording wrong. Because last night we had panicked dogs, and the dogs were drugged, and I should have drugged myself. It would have been so much easier. Right. We should have just let the dogs run amok, and we should have just drugged ourselves. Wouldn't have bothered us in the least. Anyways, but we leave. We're going to Miami for Exotica, which is going to be a weekend of silliness. So, A, a we're partying with a bunch of people uh you're gonna get fucked by a bunch of people and just work fucked and then we'll also probably have sex fuck fun fuck as well uh and party sense as well your vag is gonna be fucking on fire um and and but we're taking a couple days to drive down there so that's cool taking our time so if you're on the route and to, you know, I don't know, fuck us for a room, we sure would, we'll fuck you for spaces. I'm just kidding. We don't fuck for things. That's not how this works. But if you're on the path, we'd love to visit people. We want to stop and see people. Or cool things to see between Nebraska and Miami. Just saying. So anyway, but we're going to be recording next week's show because we record on Tuesday. So we're going to record next week's show.
Speaker4: We don't know where.
Speaker1: We don't know where we're going to be at when we record. And we may record the week after early because we may record it at Exotica. Like maybe Sunday, see if there's somebody you want to have on the show or something. So maybe we'll record it or something. So I don't know, but it's going to be on location, on the road.
Speaker2: That's what we're going to be doing. So the show, we're traveling, and it's going to be cool, and it's going to be fun, and we don't have to worry about dogs. But, you know, I'm sure the technology could possibly go wrong. I think we now have time to take four laptops, three laptops, our two phones, another phone, another camera, microphone. Yeah, so we're going to have some, we're going to have some gear.
Speaker4: We're going to have some gear.
Speaker2: That's just, that's just for, just for this little part of the festivities. Wow, is there an easier way to do that? Yeah, there is, but we can't afford that.
Speaker1: So we're going to take all of our shit instead. Well, I don't want to take necessarily a sound thingy. We can take a video and still be able to... Edit it? No, change it over to an MP3 versus an MP4. Okay. We sure can. We'll figure it out. We'll work it out. Oh my oh my god oh my gosh i'll have the pile of stuff where and the old tetris at the end of the car like we always do it'll it'll work out perfectly because i still have to get business cards made for you i've got to get we've got to get more pictures printed time's a tick and no shit i got so much to do it's not even funny uh but we're excited and it's gonna be a good time we'll give you a full update of everything going on. We're excited to meet a whole bunch of people. Run amok. So I've got a whole list of people that I want to meet. I'm like, I want to meet this person, and yeah. Yeah, Tina, there'll be no clothes. So I'm the only one that's going to need clothes, ideally. So pretty much. Well, I'll need clothes. It'll just be for the buffet breakfast. Very minimal. On again, off again. On off. Well, like, I'm not huge for, like, skimpy dresses and shit, even though I do have some. Which is good, because you might need some. Because I think each night we're going to hit some of the big clubs down in Miami. So we're going clubbing with the group. So here's what's basically going to happen. Our junk is going to be worn out. Our livers are going to be worn out. My vocal cords will be worn out. And it's going to be a fucking blast. This is going to be like, we're going to test the limits and skill set of our age. Can still party like rock stars which the answer is fuck yeah just saying plus i gotta get my nails in before we go so it's important i get all nice i want to make a good first impression when we get to florida anyways so this show because okay so again now look we're got some cool some cool sexy shows coming up because we'll talk about all the people you're getting fucking walloped and waylaid by and whatnot as that happens. But because in between time, we talk about other stuff that actually affects people, right? That's what we do. Right. Right. And so here's the reality. This is, we are in swimsuit season, bikini season, swimsuit season, and less season in the lifestyle, right? There's people talking about pool parties, there's campouts like ours that are coming up, there's events all over. And a lot of these events have a whole lot of no clothes. and so the reality what I what you know we always joke we always talk about
Speaker2: the fact that there's
Speaker1: there's point have a whole lot of no clothes and so the reality what i what you know we always joke we always talk about the fact that there's there's porn swinging right which is what everybody envisions when you first get in the lifestyle where everybody's perfect and nobody has wrinkles or blemishes or gray hairs or anything you know porn swinging and then there's real swinging, right? And so we're going to talk about that because obviously there's a couple other things that deal, go directly with that. And part of it is we get our demographics continue to go up as you take more things, as you take, you're taking testosterone, I'm taking testosterone, and we're taking blockers and we're doing stuff to alter i'm not taking blocking anything well we're doing stuff to alter our bodies and basically make our bodies younger and we're not the only ones out there that are doing all this there are certain challenges that we face that honestly we haven't faced since we were in high school and that's the reality of it and that's what we want to talk about because honestly i hear this a ton especially with ksn the one we had in june but especially the one coming up in august because it's so much hotter that there are people legitimately nervous about coming to an event because of life basically because of they don't fit the what they would deem the quality of porn swinging right so we want to talk about it because it's a very real thing and it's it's just you know it's part of it right so uh so let's start with cooters no i i want i got one yeah i want to no we're gonna go and hit going to go and hit the things that you hear about the most, right? Topic of conversation you hear about all the time. Waxing, shaving, trimming, and just guys and gals. And you see it come up all the time that with that, when you shave, wax, or whatever, bumps. Yeah. Right? So let's talk about that. Let's start there because I think that's a, I think that is, that's not so much age specific. Like when we were younger, when we were younger, that was, yeah, when we were younger, that was, we were dealing with that younger before we were doing any other
Speaker3: supplements to fuck with our bodies so what's something you always you do or have done what what do you do after after you shave because you shave you don't wax because you you're very your skin is super sensitive apparently my skin is super sensitive because i tried waxing for like six months right maybe even a year and i get burned i'm burned yeah so so you and i know they put stuff on afterwards that's supposed to either help remove wax and soothe the skin and prevents break out and all that stuff it didn't necessarily work but i did take a tip from a stripper that says you put deodorant on after you get done shaving and has that worked for you yes when i remember to do it because you even had me do it because i don't i don't shave as often probably as i should but my junk's not out as much i don't get it i get it like about you know above is where i where i'll get the bumps and you told me to do the same thing. So. It works for me. Different things work for different people. Someone told one gal one time to use baby oil. Okay. So let me ask this. It doesn't work for me. For a girl, how big of a deal is the bumps? Well, it makes you extremely self-conscious. Okay. Because they're bright red bumps where you just shaved everything clean so it's nice and smooth and then you have these bright red bumps everywhere. And I can remember times you go, I feel like I've got something when I know I don't have anything. Right. So the, the thing, the thing is, is that. I've never, I used Nair once and I bit burn. And, and that's the thing. Part of this is you folks, as you're listening to this, you're going to try different things that'll work because just like that, that's three people that said Nair, absolutely Nair. And for you, Nair did burn. Nair was like. It was like chemical burn. It was like, oof. Yeah. So, I mean, it's different. And even like the waxing. For some people, some people love to have it waxed. I liked having it waxed. I just hated having a week of a burn. Right. And that's part of it. So, for me, like for guys, or one of the things that like, if you shave is that if you get a neck. And obviously, part of one of the things, you know, everybody's conscious of, how can an STD spread? Fluid to fluid comment. An open sore. So, that's always been something that, like, I try not to, okay, because I'm a fat guy and my gut gets in the way, it's hard for me to see. So you're, like, stretching and pulling or whatever. So a lot of times I'm always will tend to shave, try to shave a day or two ahead of time so that if I were to nick myself because it has happened, then I don't have an open sore. Right? So, I mean, that's something to consider as you go through as well. And some people get razor burn some people are totally different on what what they they get part of it is every single person when you when you shave especially okay so like for me because i'm not super hairy i'm kind of fuzzy right but look the triangle stands out when i shave it's like fur no fur kind of stands out so everybody's that way to a degree so you're not the only one that's self-conscious about it right so it's okay and it's okay to ask to this is not like some like weird question to ask in lifestyle you know if it's something you not, if you don't know or you want ideas, ask people what they use. Guys, too. Guys, look, there's a lot of guys that get waxed. There's a lot of guys that have different things. We all try different, do things that are different. A good buddy of mine, he actually, his wife will shave him before events. Because then you don't have missed spots. Because there's just nothing sexier than a little cuff of hair popping off to the side. Trust me. We understand that. Don't mind that tickle spot. We all have them. I know, but okay. So we got in there and there. One had to go to three different salons before she found a wax that she didn't react to. And also, wax techs. W all of them will do it a little bit different so you may find one you're more comfortable with well there's different things sugaring which i wouldn't mind trying at some point but i'm not in a hurry to try it according to race for jason laser hair removal is great but expensive and painful i've thought about that but there's always the option of what about when i'm 80 and I really don't give a fuck and I don't care if it's going down my legs anymore. Nobody wants little troll swing sets on your legs. What if it becomes popular? Good for the younger generation. The homo sapien look. Yeah, perfect. No. But try so. Here's the other thing thing is even there's the other thing is a lot of people don't want to and when i get to hear my fucking nose hair itch so it looks like we just made a little bit lines of coke and we're just well mine is just i refuse to scratch it because i'm pretty sure it's a dog hair because i was brushing all the fur off mine's cocaine uh so the the uh the thing is is that grooming here here's the wrong answer the wrong answer is i don't want anything to show is to do nothing well if people want to be naturalists that's up to them that's fine but some sort of grooming is still appreciated it's appreciated regardless so keep that So keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that if you're like me and have curly hair and you shave, occasionally you get ingrown hairs. I fucking hate that. That actually always causes you to go into a complete panic. Because you're terrified that someone's going to misinterpret. They're going to see it and you're going to be like, oh my God. And you're like, it's. It's one little dot. Leave me alone. Yeah, exactly. But I refuse to play because it's a sore. It's a sore. And that's the one thing. Those are a bitch. Be smart. I will say this. Guys, you know, don't be afraid to ask women advice when it comes to ways to take care of or ways, different things to use or try down in your junk. because the reality of it is, historically, women have more history and more experience
Speaker1: with what they're doing and can give you advice on how to... Shaving your balls is not like shaving your fucking face except for the fact that you can nick it and you look really stupid with 75,000 pounds of toilet paper with little dabs all over your nutsack. So keep that in mind as you're doing that. There's a lot of products out there now that are made specifically for your genitals to be shaved be shaved men and women they can be pricey but there are a lot of options out there so check your options okay so that's the first one so here's here's the million dollar question has has how whether it be waxing shaving has, after doing it, has it ever caused you to not play because it went awry? Well, someone told me that their wax technician told them that they can't play for 24 hours after, they can't have sex for 24 hours after being waxed. Because their pores are so open. Well, no, I never paid attention to it i because by the time i got home i was all wet because for some reason some chick was rubbing your cooter uh eldon uh i'm a hairy sasquatch but i'm also old and not as flexible as i used to be i understand completely jamie truly beauty truly beauty makes a coconut whipped shaving cream that is fucking amazing on everything okay rock, rock on. There you go. I may actually, I've never had you actually. Does it taste like coconuts too? I've never actually had you shave me before. But before we go to Miami. You're terrified because one time I said, here, let me get a razor. And you go, you are not bringing that by my dick. I'm like. Yeah, well, because if I'm going to cut my one ball out, I'd rather it be me than you. But I will most likely this time have you help me a little bit for Miami. Really? Just because the bottom line is I can't, you know, for a bowl full of jelly, the whole Santa thing, you can't just swing that fucker off to the side so you can get a good shot and whatever. And like Eldon, I'm not as flexible to do, likestand and stuff. You need to learn to hold a mirror. I have one ball, so I have a parasail, so I have to stretch my nutsack this far out. I was being a smartass. But you can sharpen a blade on it. Girls, you have to hold lips and hold them flat. You don't have to. You don't have to. I've missed tfts of hair, and I'm like, oh, my God. Look, you know how I can always tell if I've missed a spot? How? When a girl's giving me a blowjob, and all of a sudden she turns around a certain way, and then comes up going, like, because it tickled her nose. And they're always like, oh, I'm missing a spot. Sorry. My bad. That's not necessarily the case, but whatever. Could be. Well, that's the story I like to stick with i hope that they didn't just like run into a spot that was like weird they get with one nut you got to be careful so i can't take much of the bag anyways okay so i don't know it's like getting a charley horse when you're trying to shave down there yeah i can actually relate to that i can i'm sure you can okay so so that's pretty so you have had times where it has stopped you from playing and and that's not true so again the other big piece of advice is timing is everything i think obviously everybody's hair goes back at a different speed a little bit so well but all i'm saying no i'm laughing because
Speaker3: i used to shave like once every week and then you get on lovely testosterone and you're like going oh my god one day and i stole stumbling what the fuck and and you know yeah there's there's the There's the concept of the cat licking sandpaper.
Speaker2: But it's not something... And, you know, yeah, there's the whole, there's the concept of the cat licking sandpaper. But it's not something that anybody can help. But it's something to keep in mind. I know. I warn people going, you know, it's been a couple of days since I shaved. That's okay. Well, you knew it was stubbly.
Speaker3: Just saying.
Speaker2: I like to, I put, I put little warning signs on this patch of the hairs I'm seeing.
Speaker4: You know when I can always find the missed spots on my nutsack? Seriously.
Speaker5: When a girl's about to fucking suck my neck and also it's like,
Speaker2: the light will always catch it just right.
Speaker4: It's like, fuck!
Speaker2: Yeah, there's a spot. There's a spot.
Speaker4: There's a spot.
Speaker1: So just so you know, ladies, I hide Skittles in it so that you get a treat.
Speaker3: I just made that up. I don't hide Skittles. But I might. If you want Skittles in it so that you get a treat i just made that up i don't hate skittles but i might if you want skittles in it just let me know and i won't do chocolate but i'll do skittles uh okay so just a god damn chocolate melts i know and it wouldn't necessarily be i'm thinking melting your dick hole not in your hand. Wow, that'd be horrible.
Speaker2: Wow, good lord.
Speaker1: Okay, this is why we make sure we thank our sponsors to start each show.
Speaker3: Oh my gosh. How the fuck did he come up with that shit?
Speaker1: Well, you know, if you suck it all the way through, it's milk chocolate. Kate, have you had something called the rainbow? I like it. We can do that. And our next week's sponsor Is Skittles Anyways Chewy sweet tarts No, we don't put any sweet tarts Because here's the thing, I don't want anybody To get a big lick of my dick and go Oh, it's a tart I don't want them Anybody walks out after a second Have you day going, ah. Have you ever eaten a sweet tart?
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: I mean, not off a penis or anything.
Speaker2: Are they tart?
Speaker1: They can be. Those sour ones that have the squirty sour thing. I don't want somebody to bite into that and get a mouthful of lemon juice and be like, his dick tastes like, ah, that'd be horrible.
Speaker2: Anyways.
Speaker1: Okay, wow. See, we've upgraded from the horrible. Anyways. Ah, okay.
Speaker2: Wow.
Speaker3: See, we've upgraded from the fruit roll-up blowjobs.
Speaker2: Yes. Wow.
Speaker3: Because that was a discussion one day.
Speaker1: It was.
Speaker2: It was.
Speaker1: We'll move past that.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: So, wow, how do I even go there? Want to suck my dum-dum? You already went there. There's no turning back. Suck my dum-dum. It's awesome. I love those, but it's pottery. Dum-dums? Yeah, they're like a big Smarties, but one just solid thing, the dum-dums. No, dum-dums are a lollipop. Right, but there's ones that are... They're fun dip. No. There's ones that look like a fucking Pokemon ball thing. But they're like chalky looking like a fucking sweet tart.
Speaker3: I don't know what those are because I didn't eat those.
Speaker1: You would see them when you got them.
Speaker3: Like a sweet tart.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker3: A sweet tart with a stick.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Sort of. Yeah, exactly. I just have a candy cigarette. Smoke? It's made out of the same chalky crap. Exactly. When chalk was good, those kids were fucking... You have like this chalky sugar chalk little fetish. Look, if anybody wants to fucking suck my dick with... I'll put a pixie stick across my dick. That's fucking fine. Ooh. Mm-hmm. Wet it down a little bit. Yeah. Sprinkle to... Yeah. And here's the fucking... Ready whip? Sprinkle that. No, fuck ready whips. We're going straight. We'll go. Look, here's the... If you... I'll provide the pixie sticks if you just want to eat a pixie stick off my dick. It won't stick to it. Lick it once, it will. If you want to fucking... If you snort a line a pixie stick off my dick. It won't stick to it. Like at once, it will. If you want to fucking, if you snort a line of pixie stick off my cock, I will fucking get you a shirt. Because that would be funny as hell. Actually, in college, we got drunk one time and we snorted pixie sticks. Hurts like hell. Just saying. Smarties double lollies. There it is. Yes, there. See? There it is. Pop rocks back in the day. Well, people still use pop rocks if you can find... Well, I guess they kind of are in the store. You can, but you've got to be careful because a pop rock in the dick hole can be a fucking horrible experience. Every time you pee... Pop. We should pee it out pretty quick then. You would hope, but if it gets stuck in there, just saying. Yeah, there's no body of the dick. Somebody's going to fucking snort a line of pixie stick off my dick. It'll be a short line. You said nothing about snorting. You said lick. No, if they lick it, I'll provide the pixie stick. If they snort a line of pixie stick off my dick, I'll give them a free shirt. It's only because you've snorted pixie sticks before. And it burns like a motherfucker, but it will be funny as hell. Look, we may know, nobody may come, but we're going to laugh our asses off regardless. That's all I'm going to say. Trust me. Once you snort pixie sticks off a
Speaker3: cock, it will never be the same. I must be rare. I never played with
Speaker1: food. I will bet you this next weekend when we're in Miami or whenever that is, I'll bet you with some of the folks that are going to be there that I can probably get somebody to fucking put a line of pixie stick on their dick. Now, some of those guys are probably big enough. You're going to get the whole pixie stick. Mine's just going to be a dab, but just saying. Oh, see? We got people in. There we go. Now it's going to be a party. Oh, yeah. We'll do fun dip. Fuck yeah, lick the tip, stick it in there. I will absolutely stick in my dick. All right, KS and I got to get a whole bunch of candy, I guess. I will absolutely stick the tip of my dick in the Fun Dip package for... It'll be taste the flavors. Taste the flavor. A little water, once your mouth out, spit it out so you can try the next flavor. This will be awesome. Spit it out. Why would you spit it out? Because you want to wash your palate for the next one. But just know the final flavor is going to be cum and that will be salty. That won't be just like eating a pretzel. Maybe it will make the cum taste better, though. Maybe. And maybe I'll be... Sprinkle the rest of the powder in your mouth when you eat it. Maybe I'll be peeing sugar for a week. I don't know. That will be weird. I don't know what happened, it seemed all weird natural candy roulette this is gonna be awesome i gotta change the waivers again hey real quick before we go to the next spot because really pixie six was not on my list of things to talk about imagine that we got butterflied this quick into it uh quick midway point already halfway through it what are you talking about oh shit everything i've done today has gone super fast oh shit if if we fuck your badge will be on fire uh hey you know what if you want to know what's going on in the adult world whether it be the swinging world or the porn world you'll find an article about pixie sticks i'm sure uh make it a habit to read asnlifestylemagazine.com three million readers can't be wrong you want to Check out our day. You know what you'll find ads for? You'll find an article about pixie sticks, I'm sure. Make it a habit to read asnlifestylemagazine.com. Three million readers can't be wrong. You want to check it out today? You know what you'll find ads for? You'll find ads for us in there. That is a huge fucking spider. Wow, that was gross. Anywho, you'll find ads for us in there as well as... I thought they didn't need to hear you scream. Oh, that'd been awesome. As well as Full Swap Shop. Also, safety, it's a thing. Be in charge of your own safety. When you go to a club or bar, don't take a chance of becoming a statistic. One or four people have been drugged without their knowledge. My Cup Condoms. Absolutely great little product to make sure that, A, you don't spill your drink, B, bugs don't get your drink, but most importantly, that you don't get roofied. So check them out today. Go to mycupcondom.com backslash discount backslash casbah10. Order yours. You can get them in three packs, six packs, up to a 50 pack of them as well. If you're a business that would like more information on how you could possibly have these to sell, shoot us an email. We'll be able to help you out with that as well. Oh my god, my fucking nuts are going fucking nuts. Okay, so let's move up a little bit now, away from wow, this show has just so went off the fucking rails. I can't even believe it. Let's move up. So is there a point to the whole topic of just grooming? My thing is this. Or being self-conscious about it. Being self-conscious, because here's the reality of it. Now, the next part of this really is anybody that is dealing with fucking hormone replacement or just the reality of getting older, shit is changing. And we're all taking these things to try to help make shit work. Right? And we're trying to go back in time, basically. And so when we go back in time, we have things like zits start to happen again. We haven't had those for years. And I'm talking. Well, yeah, I have. Right, but with the increase in testosterone, I'm having it too. Everybody says this. You hear it all the time. I hear it from you, I think it's more predominant in women in some areas, but it's just like, oh my god, I've got a zit on my ass, or for me, I hate when I get a zit on my chest, you know, or you get a zit, for me, my beard covers a lot of the shit, right? But it's a common fact, and the thing is, is what's really really the reason I want to talk about it is because just like back in high school, when we were all trying to impress and date and whatever. Right. We hated that. That was the thing. That was the fucking that was the thing. The universe is cruel joke. Wrinkles and acne. Fuck all. Absolutely.
Speaker2: And that's where we're at now.
Speaker1: And that's part of it is that, so now we haven't had to deal with this for years and years and years. It hasn't to have gotten a cut or a wrinkle or gray hairs. It was a big deal, but it wasn't. But now it is again. And the sad reality of it it is is that these types of things are stopping people from taking advantage of of events of this season of of everything gray hairs it destroys your self-confidence it does and and the the first thing is is just like the teenagers there's a lot of similarities between people when they're teenagers and now you know what everybody on fucking hormone replacements and on shit to try to get our bodies to be young again just like when they're teenagers we're all dealing with it well everybody i think deals with it to some degree well they do and the the thing is is that that's that's the whole Thank you. we're all dealing with it well everybody i think deals with it to some degree well they do and the the thing is is that that's that's the whole the whole thing there is a huge market out there for products to lighten stretch marks and that's not a woman's only issue at all. There is, for the hair dyes, I've dyed my eyebrows in the past years because when I was on the sun, they'd bleach out so bad. The different types of makeup, the thousands upon thousands of dollars that you can spend on makeup to try to cover men and women, to cover lines and to cover ble know blemishes to basically cover life but the reality is we're all there okay so tina i've totally embraced the silvers let that shit shine yeah absolutely i i'm lucky because i'm so blonde that it blends in. My thing is thinning versus the gray. Wrinkles don't bother me. They really don't faze me much. But the loss of hair does. So, I mean, I've got my own things. I'm constantly worried about how my hair looks. I have a laser that I use on my hair all the time. Lightening dark spots, too. Absolutely. My mom got dark spots for some reason i don't and i don't know why well it's like stretch marks i'm gonna i guess i'm you and i are both lucky because i've got stretch marks too mine's not from giving birth to children mine's from not being able to stop eating but everybody's are different clear. You can't see them, but I also don't go out in the sun very much to have them tan or anything. This is the bigger message that we want to get out there and through to folks is that life is actually sexy. Yeah. Because we all talk about it. Yes, obviously you're going to do things to try to look the very best, whether it be dealing with acne, whether it be dealing with grays, whether it be dealing with whatever is your thing that it wrinkles, whatever it may be. Like I hate my crow's feet. I smoked for 30 years. But you just said wrinkles didn't bother you. My crow's feet do a little bit. But at some point in time, I'm going to look like a raisin because all the years at some point but you just said wrinkles didn't bother you oh my crows we do a little bit but at some point in time i'm gonna look like a raisin because all the years i smoked but when we all say personality is what's most important it actually really is we just have to learn to trust that part of it like because here's the thing if you're a girl that I want to hook up with and you have, you have laugh wrinkles, right? Because you're smiley and your personality is funny and bubbly. You know what? I don't see wrinkles. That's sexy. That's, that's, I see your personality and I hope that's what people see with me right and life is sexy even even the things that don't i look at my hands okay so if you if you can see me if you were watching this on our youtube channel next time you see me now people gonna look at my hands when you look at my hands i have no idea what the fuck it is or why. I have a shit ton of, I don't know what the fuck they are. Bumps. Bumps on my hands. Like, if you feel gross, they're not smooth. It could be Braille, and it could be a map to millions of dollars, but I don't think so. But the reality is, a lot of times, if I'm hot or been out in the sun or something, they'll be white. And honestly, they stand out. I don't have sexy hands. But it is what it is. If someone isn't going to be okay with you because of life, whether that be whatever it is, that's on them, not you you and that's the thing that becomes so important yes are there things that you can do to help just like when you were a teenager where the things you could do to help deal with acne or like i use a laser for my gray hair or for my thinning hair gray hair and just. I don't think the laser's going to do much for gray. No, but are there things that you can do? Are there lotions you can put on that it's going to help rehydrate your skin? Yes. There's things that you can do. Look, wearing sunglasses is a huge fucking way, is a huge protector of a lot of things, okay? So there's a lot of things that you can do and that's okay but the the we have to learn how to be okay to not be the person that actually hates our bodies the most right because okay i'm going to use you as an example i'm going to use you as an example because you're getting ready to go to miami let's always honest with our people, right? Yeah. What is one thing that's kind of intimidating to you or what's something that you're kind of feeling compared to the other girls when you go down there? Old, for one. Yeah. That's one. That's one. I've got a handful of stuff that I'm just like, fuck. Put some out there. Tell them what they are.
Speaker2: Let's see.
Speaker3: I'm old. Heavier than most because they're going to be super skinny.
Speaker2: Majority.
Speaker1: Anyways, go ahead. You don't have fake boobs.
Speaker3: No, I don't have fake boobs, but that's not a hangover of mine because I really don't care.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker3: Keep going. Of course, I'll color my hair before I go. To hide the gray that's popping out, even though I really don't have that much. No, you don't. Cursing fucking acne that popped out because the doctor's like, double your testosterone, huh? Okay, great, thanks, okay. So, but as you're going, but here's, okay, so you, and every one of those are very legitimate concerns. Because, one, okay, A, I think that this is just my thought. You feel like you started noticing you hide your age very well your
Speaker1: whole family hides their age well anyways you don't look your age but there are some things that you have started to notice yourself that you feel like show your age more because every morning i could hear it man i can really see my age now right but the the reality of it is you really can't all those fears
Speaker3: when you get down there, and this will be exciting to report back to everybody, when you get down there, all those people, and you see all those people in live reel, like real time, it's not going to be any different. Maybe it won won't I don't know how much is edited It's the magic of electronics Yeah I don't know Tell me how to hide a pimple Tell me You know Okay so Cole laughs at me Because I've been trying to find a makeup that won't smear off. Doesn't exist, but I was hoping to find something because if you really saw my face without makeup, it's splotchy red. And I wear makeup to hide that. Grow a beard. No, I tried to shave that off
Speaker2: the spot.
Speaker1: What's going to be funny is that the fears that you have are the exact same fears that everybody has. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think it is. I think mine are kind of unique. I don't know why. And here's how I know they're the exact same fears. Because there's a billion dollar industry to cover every one of the things that you have fears with. That means, and we don't have a billion dollars, so that means there's a lot of other people spending the same amount of money because they have the exact same fears. The challenge is, and it's not just a woman thing. I think that it's, ladies, I will say this. It's very easy to take and assume that your husband or a student together doesn't feel the exact same way. Not about you, but about themselves. Because they do. Look, I have been staring at a fucking ad of a Facebook for fuck's sakes for a skin tap remover that for $24.95 is going to do some magical thing and I've almost convinced myself to go ahead and waste $24.95 to buy it. Because it's just... It is what it is. We all have it, men and women, what Elton said. With my weight loss, Elton said, with my weight loss, I went from fat and firm to flabby and loose skin. I look better clothed than naked. In the back of my mind, I think that'll be a potential turnoff to a partner. Right there is the perfect... That sums it up perfectly. Sometimes we have to shut off the voice in the back of our head. And look, I'm the world's worst at doing it. Right? I would fucking take full ownership of the fact that that is probably one of the hardest challenges for me in the world to do. Because I have totally altered my look since I got out of the real world. And it's totally to fight aging as close as I can possibly get it. And we don't have to roll our fucking eyes.
Speaker3: I didn't roll my eyes.
Speaker1: I looked at the camera. Anyways, but that's the reality. We have to roll our fucking eyes i didn't roll my eyes i looked at the camera anyways but that's the reality we have to fight it right because really i don't think people see it uh brian i get these damn uh back pimples that hurt so bad and definitely make me self conscious since being on on testosterone shots yeah we i get them too and honestly i really truly believe if if i was at a swinger event or a lifestyle event and someone that was our age our age range will go 30 to 30 to 65 right and walked up and they had perfect skin perfect hair like like perfect
Speaker2: everything
Speaker3: perfect perfect
Speaker1: I don't think I could actually
Speaker2: talk to them
Speaker1: and keep a straight face why? because it'd all be fake
Speaker3: not necessarily there has to be somebody that has it
Speaker2: naturally
Speaker1: you're talking to the hugest straight Cher fan out there. Right? Right. Cher looks fucking amazing at almost 80. I would fuck Cher in front of my mom on the hood of a car if the opportunity was herself. Now, it's just the equivalent of having sex with a doll because none of it's fucking real. None of it's real. And the reality is there's nobody that is going to have is going to be absolutely perfect at R.H. It's just going to have no moments. It's not going to happen. Not naturally. No way. I'm all natural. Jamie, no one could, but I'd want to meet the plastic surgeon. They're banging. Okay. Yeah. Absolutely. The challenge is we do all this stuff. You mean I could do that? Fuck yeah, for free work. Fuck yeah. Give me some shit too. I got jowls. I mean, they need to go away. Anyways, the thing is, is that it's funny. We do the naked walk, because that's my hang-up with naked, right? Well, what's really my hang-up with being naked? I mean, seriously. Because I could be a grown-up show, but if I was fucking buff and fucking ripped, I'd be like, ooh, ooh. You know, I would, okay. I mean, that's the reality of it. So the thing is, is that it's the same logic that we have to do with the rest of our bodies. Like, can you picture, seriously, picture a swinger event, okay, where everybody there, KSN, we're going to have 150, 160 people there, whatever we're going to have, right? Picture every single person there being 100% completely comfortable in who they are, as they are, fully embraced of all of their life, you know, the roadmap of life that is their body. Can you imagine how, what a chill, relaxed, badass time that would be, seriously. I mean, think about that for a minute. Think about walking into a room. Think about walking into a room of 30 people where every single person, not bullshit, not fake it until they make it, none of that bullshit, legitimately, 100%, love who they are, love what they're about, love where they're at, and they're just, all that worry, anxiety, stress, wonder, self-consciousness is gone. What would that event look like? I mean, seriously, can you picture that?
Speaker3: Non-existent.
Speaker1: Well, I know it's non-existent, but how incredible would that be? If the first hour, two hours, half the event, two days, whatever it might be,
Speaker3: We'll be right back. I know it's non-existent, but how incredible would that be if the first hour, two hours, half the event, two days, whatever it might be, wasn't spent with people getting comfortable in their own skin, was just spent in getting to know all the people that were there.
Speaker1: That would be amazing. And that's why shows like this are so important, because this is the one where it's like we all have it. You know what? Good.
Speaker4: Good.
Speaker1: Good.
Speaker2: Good. And that's why shows like this are so important, because this is the one where it's like, we all have it.
Speaker1: You know what? You're going to see everybody that's on your OnlyFans page, or that will be on your OnlyFans page, after Miami, they're going to see you having made movies where you're going to look, you're going to have that perfect look because it's going to be edited. Look, the one that's on there right now, the video that's on there right now, one of the things that they would edit out, you had a bra strap. That'll be gone. That'll be edited out. It wasn't a bra strap. It was a line from it. Well, but you know what I'm saying? All that will be edited out. That's the magic of TV, right? That's the whole fucking thing. So that's what everybody's going to see. But that's... Now that's my fucking train of thought. I had a really good train of thought, and also you corrected me on what that was, and totally fucking butterfied me. You get the point. No, you don't get the point. You don't even get the point, you're just, the point of it is, now I kind of found it back in a little bit. The point of it is, is that although that's super cool, okay, and the people that don't know you that are only watching it because they're gonna they're watching it to lust after you accordingly whatever they'll lust after you they'll they won't lust after you anymore because it's edited than if it wasn't edited that's more for you that's more for the people you're fucking it's more for the perception of it for the people in it. Because the dude that's going to sit there or the girl that's going to sit there and jack off watching you do it doesn't give two flying fucks about whether or not you're perfect. That's the reality of it. And there's not a single person that will watch any of those videos, right, that wouldn't if they met you and went, wait a minute, it's not like a soft, fuzzy thing like it was in a movie that's going to go, well, fuck that, who's that bitch, I don't want to fuck her, no one's going to say that, that's the reality of it, want to interject, what the fuck nothing thank you Jamie jumped in I'm not wrong but here's the thing the point is that everybody that's listening to this you have to understand it's you you guys are all the the exact same rules concepts whatever apply to each and every one of you to every single person listen man or woman it doesn't matter if you have it doesn't matter if if you're a guy it doesn't matter if you have a fucking 10 inch dick or you have a fucking two inch dick it doesn't matter if you have a fucking six inch hangover like i do or if my mind but could be a little bigger than that actually or fucking a flat so it doesn't matter it doesn't matter that's the part that's so cool and the thing that people have to understand and part of what's so cool like part of what there's a lot of nerves and i'll talk about those next week going into this into miami okay because there's a there's a lot of nerves for i think for me and whatever but the cool part of it is is that we're just like regular kind of old people right we're just regular 50 somethings and we're getting to do that and that just like when you just like when you danced when you did the stripper dance if you can do it you're just a regular person if you can do it every single person out there can do it anybody can do it the only obstacle they have to get over is themselves it is a dog hair I swear to god it is could be a mustache it's out control but that that's the thing and it's something that i think guys and what the fuck are you doing looking out in the light it is your mustache awesome i'm a walrus every single every single both guy and girl and And seriously, ladies, this is a huge one. this is for you too like we are our own worst enemy how what is the guaranteed way to make sure no matter how much drugs sticks and tape you use whatever to get your dick hard what is the one guaranteed way to make sure that your dick will not get hard that it will hide and never come out start thinking about your dick not working if you think about your dick not working guaranteed you just won the lottery it won't work right so it's the same thing so as much as as you get older and we start mind tricking ourselves going yeah uh yeah i've got a dad bod i'm kind of past dad bot. And we start fucking mind-fucking ourselves into what that no one will want us. And again, I'm just 100% just as bad as anybody else with this. But that's the battle we have to wage. Like we have to figure out a way to like fight that little voice, which part of it is if you have a significant other or you have a spouse is to be aware of and responsive to your spouse because, and this goes both ways, even though every freaking wife in the world, when you tell her she's beautiful, doesn't believe you because it's coming from you because they think it's required right it's not keep saying it keep don't just say the general statements though point out the little things like we scoop a lot scoop because i like your boobs right we the thing is is make it specific talk about specific things that are sexy that are hot that look good that day whatever i i try in the mornings i always say you're pretty or you look sexier i like your outfit because if they if if your spouse gets here the specifics it helps build it up ladies it's the same thing same thing for guys okay for guys we want to feel like men and as you get older you don't feel as much like a guy have have three young workhorse sons that just because you just feel like about as worthless as tits on a boar it's pretty fucking bad because i can't do what they did i still can't i can't work them if i really put my mind to it but they don't believe that You know but be aware and conscient and and compliment a guy you know your significant other you know the things that he was proud of or used to be real proud of or feels real confident about compliment accordingly it if we will do that for each other and if you're a single do it with your. Do it with, you know, find a pump-up buddy, so to speak, okay? It's about being cool in human nature and being supportive to each other, but if we will find a way to reach out to each other, this is not just, you know, if you have a friend, a male friend or a female friend, compliment him every day and return to vice versa. If we can find a way, the ultimate goal in the lifestyle needs to be not to have the greatest orgy in the world, not to have the greatest sex in the world, not to have the most kinky thing in the world. The number one goal in the lifestyle for the best event, like the one that we will win and I will get out of this forever when we have this event, is when we have the event, like I described earlier, where every single person in the room is totally okay with who they are. Because the other shit, the sex and the relationship, all that shit will just fall in place. Like that will be that. That's the the goal that's the one to reach for it's okay to not be okay with getting older it's okay to not be willing to just go well there's just nothing i can do it's okay not to be all right with that it is 100 awesome and the way it should be to go i'm going to embrace like tina said i'm going to embrace the silvers let them shine i'm going to embrace the stretch marks i'm going to embrace the gray in my beard i'm going to embrace whatever it is it's okay to embrace it find the strength it, and not be complacent to just go, well, there's nothing I can do with anything, so I just have to just get old. My grandpa always said, my grandpa lived to be 96. Something like that, I believe, 96. My grandpa always said, he lived in a senior living center, a retirement community, and there were people that were 20 years younger than him that, as he said said they're already dead it's just they're getting old so they just don't do anything he goes I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead and he lived accordingly and if we would learn to do that with everything about us that's how we make the adventure crazy I'm so glad you interjected so much on this episode after Miami she'll be able to talk more because her vag will hurt and so well maybe her jaw will too she'll just sit there all wired up I don't know we'll see it from there Thank you. I'm so glad you interjected so much on this episode. After Miami, she'll be able to talk more because her vag will hurt. And so, well, maybe her jaw will too. She'll just sit there all wired up. I don't know. We'll see from there. But that's about it. So shout out to our sponsors, ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. Check them out. Again, Forrest, please. Smoking Meats, BBQTreats.com. Make your next barbecue and your meat incredible. And when you fuck afterwards after with that incredible meat, clean it up, make cleanup nice and easy with a no more wet spots blanket. That's right. Grab the goo, throw it in the washer, throw it in the dryer, and you're ready to go again. Splish splash. We're not splashing or taking a bath. Finally, keep yourself safe. How? Why? When? What? That's right. MyCupCondom. MyCupCondom.com backslash discount, backslash Casbah10. Hey, you don't have to be a swinger. If you know other people, daughters, nieces, nieces, sisters, friends, whatever, co-workers, safety. MyCupCondom. And finally, if you want the ride of your life electronically, MotorBunny.com Hop on, nothing will thump you like a rabbit MotorBunny.com You can follow us at Twitter, at TruthCrazy You can still buy tickets for Crazy Summer Nights in August That's my birthday, I like to party, you like to party Let's come party Go to CrazyKazba.com Also, don't forget to listen to us on Full Swap Radio. Check out all of our merch on Full Swap Shop. And I don't know, there's some other stuff that we do, too.
Speaker2: TikTok.
Speaker1: I'm on TikTok a lot.
Speaker2: TikTok.
Speaker1: I have another video on TikTok.
Speaker2: Kazba.
Speaker1: Everything's Kazba. So, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will, Kazba Style, out.
Speaker2: Bye.