Krazy Truth #94 Whipping a dick at the club

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole, and I'm here with here with the lovely lovely and slightly sober miss amanda not for long hey and we are here to spew and share our knowledge of the world that we know is sex craziness swinging genitalia fucking friends friends fucking friends it's what we do kids it's. Sport fucking it is. Let's fire up the old sports machine. You know, that's from an old 80s reference.
Speaker2: But you can, like, become friends after you.
Speaker1: Well, yeah, you can just be casual acquaintances and then grow into something deeper. You need to talk louder.
Speaker2: I know I'm not close enough to my microphone.
Speaker1: You can get that fucker up in your mouth. Get it like a dick up there. Get it in there.
Speaker3: Just go.
Speaker1: Oh, God, they're going to love that on the fucking live. All right. So, anywho. So, first, though, before we get started, we need to do what we usually do. We do what we do. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. First of all, we're going to give a big shout out to Lanny Hicks. Lanny Hicks is not on our page, and Lanny is not a swinger. Lanny is my best friend from high school, and we want to give Lanny a shout out because i was on the wrong fucking page for those of you that are listening that don't know we have a secret secret facebook group called crazy casbah don't tell the others and so i was on my regular facebook wall the vanilla world and just about did our podcast but thank god my buddy from high school it was like a dude and i'm like because he knows what we do and yeah so thank you all right but first let's give a shout out to our sponsors uh panda seduction they've got they have products galore for all of your adult fun they've got lubes toys educational things clothing novelties so much more, animal beads, you name it, they've got it. What you need to do is you need to visit them today, after the show, of course. Visit them today at pandaseductions.ca, and they'll have your stuff drop shipped right to your door. So they're our friends from the Great White North, so visit them today, pandaseductions.ca. And also.ca..ca. That's it. Okay. Good day. Welcome to day 12A. They know it's good in nature and fun. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure they've heard it before. Yeah, a couple times. Anyways, so the other thing is, don't forget, now, for those of you watching, you'll see we're we're sucking uh booze actually out of some of our new new merch let's see hold up your new merch for those you don't know check out our own website www.crazykazba.com uh you can see some of our badass new coffee mugs which we're drinking mixed drinks out of tonight shot glasses uh you name it we got it yeah somebody somebody power these fuckers right the fuck up. Okay, so make that crazycasma.com. Yeah, crazy with a K. K-R-A-Z-Y, Casma, K-A-S-B-H. Okay, so we thought real quick, before we get into it, we've got new questions. We've got a really good show for you tonight. A really, really good show for you. Where Sullivan It's Elvis Some of these people might not know who he is No shit Google it if you don't know who he is Thank you now I need to dye my hair too Fucking A Anyways So we thought it was only fair That we should probably give an update A nut update Because we A nut update. Because we hadn't done it on the show. So, for those of you that's the first time you heard us, I had two nuts. One nut was hurting. They took a nut. It was testicular cancer. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Now, sometimes I feel like a nut. Sometimes I don't. Now, I have but we just got we went through all the rest of the tests and stuff and it came back all clear so they got the test the testicular cancer they got it with my orgology which is orchiectomy yeah basically when they took my nut they got it so i don't have to have any other treatments or chemo or radiation no you must share that it is very rare oh yeah yeah mine was very rare mine was i'm number case number 121 in the world ever to have this so this type of tumor so uh unusual call that's where i roll so but my nut is is uh my nut is gone and so is the cancer so all i gotta do is once a year for the next five years go get some blood work on a ct scan so we are very very excited about that we've shared all the way to toast again again this is a reminder to everybody get checked know your bodies guys don't be so fucking too cool to go get your nuts checked or something doesn't feel right ladies get checked if something doesn't feel right get checked but uh so we are for those of you listening at, we're about to have a shot in the Crazy Casper shot glasses. Yay! And for those of you at home, that would be fire. That would be Jack Daniels. Tennessee fire. We're chilling and wash that down with some rum. Fuck. Whew.
Speaker3: All right.
Speaker1: One of the things I've stopped doing is smoking.
Speaker2: Wow, you can't handle it, but you made me almost nose blow alcohol.
Speaker1: Well, I don't smoke anymore now either. I quit smoking this whole thing, and I normally would have had a cigarette to help everything, just kind of, so we're good.
Speaker3: All right.
Speaker1: Onward and upward with the show.
Speaker2: Anyway, about smoking.
Speaker1: Yeah, so I quit smoking, so that would have been a smoke moment, but now I'm just sweating instead. So it's all, holy fucking shit. I'll be nice and warm and tasty. I'll bet you will. And on another update, on another note, Amanda's probably going to get laid at working tomorrow. So just saying. We record on Sundays. Anyways, all right. So let's move right along. Are you going to be drinking at work tomorrow? Maybe? No, I probably could. Let's double down on this shit. Since you actually have to do your shit right. My important part of the role of the whole thing. I kind of have to be on my game. Well, you're going to be on something. You're going to be on somebody's game. The game of boinking. Boink. Okay. It's kind of awkward. Look, I keep dying to get rooms. I don't understand. If you want to go fucking have, like... Sitting on a table, it's not really a whole lot of... I'm trying to be quiet. Bend over a cubicle. The desk. That made my arms sore for a couple oh poor baby you had sore arms from fucking at work that's horrible he's a good fuck well i i feel horrible for you i you know that do you think that could be work wins comp i would I would like to file a workman's comp claim. I hit my head on the cubicle and I got a concussion. Oh, my God. What happened? I was fucking.
Speaker2: You're a dork.
Speaker1: Yes, I am. Definitely getting great pictures. I don't call it lunch, though. What'd you have? A shake and a cock. I'm Aaron.
Speaker3: Fair enough. That's the way you're all all right tissue massage yeah i'm gonna meditate i'll bet you are uh anyways um so yeah all right so we have a show to do and we're live and we're gonna do a show and stuff and ask questions so okay so we have a good question uh and uh i'm getting mentioned in comments i didn't do it i swear to god uh okay so here is uh the question now now already see this is that this lady is new on our page but they're a listener of our show and you can tell they're good listeners of the show you know why yeah i know why because they have they don't have a thing for nurses uh-huh and so so she signed this is amber lpn so that automatically guess what got my attention well no way i'll be damned all right so amber sends this question uh this may be for miss amanda but what is etiquette in a club setting or even in general? If he whips it out and is it too big or too small or just not what you're looking for? Has this happened to you?
Speaker1: Can it happen for a guy too?
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So, there's a couple of questions in there.
Speaker3: There's multiple. There's multiple questions, much like orgasms. There's multiple. But we have some experiences that we can go along with. I bet we do. Ish.
Speaker1: We'll see you next time. There's multiple. There's multiple questions, much like orgasms. There's multiple. But we have some experiences that we can go along with. I bet we do. Ish. But, okay, well, hold that thought, pumpkin. Because you reached out to Amber. Because I reached out to Amber. I did. I did reach out to Amber. And now I've got to find out where I want to. Okay, so Amber, they are new. They're pretty new in the lifestyle. They've been in for about a year and a half. They had a girlfriend that they played with that they had known for a while. And they've also had a couple of interactions with some guys they've met online. Some good, some bad. Okay, all the way through. Happens
Speaker2: to all of us. Everybody.
Speaker1: Had some fun and failures while you watch. I'm curious as to, in a club setting, what is the etiquette? If y'all click, we'll find out he has a micropenis or a king slong. I love that king slong. That will be a shirt. Just saying. Do you ask to see before? Also, just to know some simple club etiquette, help me through my first time. That's what we like. We like to help people through their first time. We love to help give you information and pop your cherry. Information cherry. That's what we do. I wonder if that's what librarians do. Pop cherries? The first time a little kid comes in at school, they pop their educational cherry. Shut up. Shut up. God. You're the one giving me shots, damn it. Okay, so how do we want to... It's too nice than you have.
Speaker4: So why do you have your shots?
Speaker1: To make it more fun.
Speaker3: Make me more talkative.
Speaker1: You bitch about that all the time.
Speaker3: So, okay, so... I have more.
Speaker1: Good, perfect. So, okay, so how do you want to start with this? Because this is kind of a... There's a degree of a Miss Amanda question.
Speaker2: Well, because there's multiple questions. There's a degree of a Miss Amanda question. Well, because there's multiple questions. There is whipping dicks out. Whipping dicks. Whipping dicks out. It's a dick whipping event. At a club setting. Right. That's one question. Another question is about size. Right. And then another one is, does it happen to guys also? Right. And if you keep looking over there, now i understand why i said you used to get pissed off when you were chasing he was chasing with the microphone i'm funning with you don't don't you hurt my feelings i only have one nut leave me alone jesus christ anyways uh okay so let's let's start, let's start with club setting first.
Speaker3: Okay. Don't you think? Yes. Okay, so we're going to talk a little bit about club etiquette and the club setting.
Speaker1: Because, okay, for those of you that are long-time listeners, you know how all the concerns we had when we first started. Because you don't know. You don't know what any event's going to be like. You don't know if it's going to be just a fucking mad ass orgy you just don't you don't really know and there's like this degree of not it's not a concern you're just nervous because you don't you don't want to be the unknown right you don't want to be the one person that has it's down there going wait we're supposed to be doing what you know nobody wants to be it's like it it's like going to a dance and and you've been well practiced up on the like the macarena and everybody else is doing the hokey pokey but you don't know how you stand there and you're all like ready and you're like oh fuck around yeah no shit you're like oh fuck me so general rule in club etiquette true club etiquette is that there shouldn't be any whipping dicks there shouldn't be any whipping anything out that's not in the appropriate marked area of a club right i mean that's generally there should be a certain area that that's like that's like it's the dick whipping area no but i mean it's an area where there's
Speaker2: play or on premise right so they have playrooms designated for that but you do see
Speaker1: We'll see you next time. It's the dick-whipping area. No, but I mean, it's an area where it's play or... No, there's some that have on-premise play. Right. So they have playrooms designated for that. But you do see women dancing topless, naked. Right, right. Not very often do you see a guy. No, and part of the reason is because most of us are growers, not showers. So, you know, you get a slight breeze and the turtle effect happens. It's just, it little more well it is what it is we don't have anything to distract you we don't have boobs to distract you no i get all that don't look at me like i'm just saying but so but generally club etiquette though would say even if you guys are getting close to going to go play or whatever, no one should just be whipping it out. Really. I think if it does happen, usually something that's going to happen, somebody's had too much booze. Right. I mean, that's. Well, think back to all the different clubs and events that we've been to. Mm-hmm. I don't recall a guy ever whipping his dick out no now i've seen a girl whip yours out and start sucking it on the dance floor yes and i did not fight her i'm not i'm not even gonna lie no but it didn't happen the other way around of a guy going here look or suck it or no no he really didn't and i think there's there's a lot of time when you're leading up to the it's about time to go play like everything's going pretty good and and I can on and out everybody's different I know some people have kissing rules and and things like that we don't but generally there's a lot of there's a lot of petting and touching and usually some making out going on when you're getting to that point it's like those are some of the dead signs that okay we're all it's like well why don't we take this where we can go and do more somewhere else so a for for ladies okay it kind of gives you a chance to get some feels in there a little bit i mean you know hopefully if the guy's getting jazzed up you're going to be able to tell i mean obviously everybody's different remember and we're not judging accordingly but you're there's going to be some other things to get a feel for maybe what you're walking into size wise whatever and i think that's plus it's a good way to know that it's it's a great sign of, hey, it's time to let's take this from the general area too if they have playrooms or a part of the club that's a play-designated area or whatever the case may be. As a general rule, you know, again, even then it's probably not going to get whipped out at that point in time. It's not you know but you know i mean whatever if if you want to pull it out then that's a different story usually i've never seen a guy just pulled on his pants and go look you know no i think i know i think a lot of guys a lot of guys will talk a good game like they would yeah i'll whip it right out right here uh-huh but they don't yeah look it's kind of like wanting to be a porn star when you talk to people in the porn business like true in the porn business they go okay you want to be a porn star sweet get it up on command get if you want to be in the porn star you want to be a male in the porn business get like 15 or 20 of your of your closest friends and stand in the middle of them and take your pants down and get a hard on immediately on command, jack off, come on command, uh, you know, sit there and get it up again and do it again on command. Okay. So turning it around on a guy. Yes. I mean, obviously you've never had the urge to just whip it out no you only had the one girl at the club pull your pants i've had a couple girls do it i've had a couple girls do it and actually i fought against a couple girls from doing it because the one the one girl she got mad at me she goes after she kind of got my hands back she said don't ever fight me i promise you i i get it and she did as soon as like my pants were done she was on it like a fucking hungry snake on her mouth afterwards i'll have to ask you who that was oh i can tell you that was uh but anyways she's a part owner of one now anyway so uh uh she helped uh we had an insurance claim in her car anyways so but but she because she recognized the fact she goes i know that guys are growers not showers so when she did it she was on it really really quick right it was in her mouth almost immediately so that so that it did not so no one else could see so it was not like anybody else is a part of any anything going on with it right the other time i've had a couple a girl try to and she was drunk and i was like no because i knew that i was fucking turtled and i was embarrassed as fuck i mean look you're talking about a guy who at our own event news thing was a huge deal to get in the pool naked so i'm uber paranoid about that shit so you know no i mean i've seen one Thank you. our own event news thing was a huge deal to get in the pool naked so i'm uber paranoid about that shit so you don't know i mean i've seen one guy drunk semi like get bad he's like i will i will a bunch of girls all right you're fucking talking such a good game do it and it still took him a lot to do it and he he i mean wasn't a small guy well but if you're gonna talk shit but even once shit. But once he started talking shit, then it was like, oh, fuck. Because I'm sorry, it is true. We have nothing as guys that we can hide behind. Look, we can't distract you. Look, if a girl's got, I don't know, if she's got like a bizarre pussy. I don't even know what a bizarre pussy would be. Whatever. the pussy talks it has teeth right but but the so her pussy's got teeth but you know she's got a super sexy rack she can get naked and be distracted and you can be distracted by her booze you don't even notice that her her badge is gonna bite you whatever i don't know with a guy all you've got is your dick so here's the deal you're real careful about just whipping that shit out because okay i'm seven and a half inches i'm not small right i'm above average substantially above average a little lacking in the girth but not bad it is what it is i need a little more girth girth me baby anyways but you never know when the dude next to you as a guy your worst fear is you know also we have a dick whipping out contest and that's when i promise you some motherfucker next to you is going to whip out this 11 fucking inch 200 pound fucking seal killer bap that that you can feel the shockwave as it slaps the table and half the chicks go oh and pass out from the size of it for fear that they're going to stretch their vag so far up that they'll be like a manta ray for the rest of their life. You know, I mean, and that's just a guy, your most horrible fear, right? So you keep your dick kind of under wraps until it's time to get it out. And it can be, you know, your own personal private seal killer. Well, you're not saying anything, but it's fucking true. No, it's true. The show is Crazy Truth. It's crazy, but it's the truth, I'm telling you. I know, I know, I get it, I get it. I've never had a guy just go, here, look, wham. I haven't. And your vagina does not have teeth, and it's never tried to bite anybody ever. God, I hope not. Now drunk, I've whipped a guy's dick out of the bar. No, you whipped a vanilla guy's dick out and that was in the parking lot outside in front of the bar. Total difference. It's not back. It was out front. Yeah. Just in the camera. Just in the parking lot. Just in the parking lot. Right by the door. We had to go in. Oh. Whatever. Anyway, okay. We're totally. No, it's still on. Amber has a serious question. And we're being serious. What? Okay, moving on. I can honestly say this question is even better. That part of the question is awesome because this whole nut thing. I've had more fucking more fucking nurses god hot nurses have to look at my junk in rooms that are cold that i have told more fucking complete strangers hey hey just so you know i'm a grower not a shower it can be more impressive the ultrasound tech oh fuck it was swollen so it was really it was my dick wasn't swollen my nuts were the size of a fucking house, so it looked like I didn't even have a fucking dick. And he's like, I'm a grown-up to show her. Yeah, and she's like, okay, whatever. She fit all the criteria. Yes, she did. I'm just like, fuck me running. Yeah, it happened. Yeah, and every room was cold. Fuck. Hey, it's great white north. Great, it's Arctic. In case you're freaking out,'re gonna be sweating so i can i get the opposite well and it's i mean mind you getting a boner at that moment in time would probably be just as awkward be like hey just work around my big hard cock you were in pain you weren't gonna get a boner i don't know there's a couple of them kind of hot that i might it was early in the process they were kind of hot the one at the last doctor's office, I wasn't in pain. I'd have got a bone. I'd have fucked her right then and there. Mom, I'll be right back.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So, anywho. Where'd Cole go? Where'd Cole go? I think he went to bang the receptionist. I think he'll be right back really cool. Well, she knows they're swingers. Them scrubs are tight, man.
Speaker2: She didn't know we were, oh, your mom did.
Speaker1: My mom, yeah. No, the other gal didn't. I wanted her to know they were swingers.
Speaker3: Oh, my God.
Speaker2: You were just looking past me, looking at him like, are you done?
Speaker1: She didn't even have scrubs on by the time I got on. I burned right through those motherfuckers.
Speaker2: Those things were tight.
Speaker1: I don't know how she could sit down without them or bust them. Neither do I, but I sure wanted to find out. I need a closer examination of these. Boy, yeah, that's the one time that my dick would have been hard easily, just like that. I'm still trying to figure out how I can stop back in for something. I think I left my pen here. come back and visit drive to schedule an appointment drive drive about 100 miles just to fucking flirt with a chick that's married and had tight scrubs on was she married yeah i should have written oh i was checking i did not that that like stopped or means anything yeah you never know i can. I can go fucking vanilla hunting, too.
Speaker3: She took a long time getting coffee, and I guarantee she knew from me going,
Speaker4: from across the room, she knew that I was staring at her ass.
Speaker2: No chick is that, is so oblivious she didn't know. Work boy wears a ring. He's not married.
Speaker3: See?
Speaker1: And that's the bad thing I was going off of. You weren't vanilla hunting. Look how that came out for you. Hey, I know some of the fucks at work. She can give us some tips. Oh go. It's not uncommon. Somebody walks in and I don't have pants on while I'm there getting checked for testicular. Yeah, but she's a receptionist. It might look kind of odd. It'd look funny with her scrubs in the corner. I don't think that's how you're supposed to take his temperature.
Speaker2: It might.
Speaker1: I was taking her temperature.
Speaker2: Anyway, now you're digressing.
Speaker3: Jeez.
Speaker1: I have no idea. How are we doing on time?
Speaker2: Why did you pick that back up?
Speaker1: Because I wanted to play with him.
Speaker2: Oh, my God.
Speaker1: You drive me nuts. How are we doing on time? Where are we at? Why did you pick that back up? Because I wanted to play with him. Oh, my God. You drive me nuts. How are we doing on time? What are we doing? We're doing just fine. Okay. 23. What? 23. Okay. 23. Did you get that? Let me say it again. Fuck you. Okay. So, there's the first part of that question. So, okay. To reiterate, if you're at a club and you're new as a guy keep keep your back in your pants until the appropriate time somebody whips it out in front of you yeah if you happen to be at a party with us bring jack daniels no no if you had a circumstance where some guy goes here look you know i'd go awesome and then carry on with whatever i was doing or if i'm really interested i might go oh i'd like to try that out well let's move to a different room you know sometimes i just go oh that's nice what inside joke they're not gonna get that other appropriate things to say when a guy whips his penis out, if you're interested. Yummy. Oh, that's always a given. I'll bet I could deep throat that. I'd love to put my mouth on that. That's usually what I think. I used to be in band. Let me blow your member. Can I touch it? Is it real? I'd love to shove that thing down my throat. You know, it just happens to be that time of year where usually we go to a rodeo and it's rodeo night that's what you say you've always said that i can hang on for more than eight seconds it's when you had to describe your work people what that meant yeah that was awkward she gets on and she rides i know she didn't slap her ass and There goes the buzzer, kids, and out of the gate we go. So there's any, now, okay, inappropriate things to say, even if you're not interested, is laughing is not appropriate. I would never laugh at somebody if I wasn't interested. No, wait, no, wait a minute. Take that back. There is a time it's appropriate to laugh at somebody wouldn't regardless how big or small their dick is if someone's being a drunk idiot and being inappropriate like just whipping their dick like you're just sitting there having a conversation all of a sudden somebody whips their dick because you're sitting down right by their your face or you know something like that it's as a chick it's absolutely appropriate to burn that dude and turn and say something like oh oh, I'm sorry, I don't put small things in my mouth, or, you know. I would never do something like that. If somebody was being a dick. Even if somebody's being a dick. If some bitch was being just fucking, just out of control, stupid, and shitty, and all of a sudden just whipped their fucking cooter in my face, I would just be like, I would be like, oh my God, put those meat flaps away. I don't know, I'd say something. Wow! If someone's being a dick, oh, hell yes, I would. Well like i would be like oh my god put those meat flaps away i you know i don't know i'd say something wow if someone's being oh hell yes i would well you would i would not i would say i did not come planning to go splunking tonight so i would say something like that if they were being an asshole even if they were being an asshole i would still just go no i'm not interested and that's why you have some guys that will not not quit texting you all the time because you are nice to them when they're a tool bag. Is that not correct? Yep. It is correct. Absolutely. You know it's fucking true. Look, ladies, experienced swingers, if somebody's being a dick, I think it's okay to put them in their place. But if they send me a dick pic, I just don't respond. Yeah, but this is live and in in person so if they just sit there and keep poking you upside the head with it hey look at my unit look at my dick and i'd probably turn around and go i can't bite okay see that's not there you go that's inappropriate if someone does it and it's not welcome it's okay you shove it in my face or you smack my head with it i will tell you i'll By the way, if anybody wants to have a lot of fun when they're drunk. Do you want to tell that story? No, because you shouldn't do that to your husband. Look, it was a long time ago and we were young. We were vanilla and very young. We were very young. And this one, you were telling a story about a co-worker who they had woken up. The co-worker woke up when her boyfriend stuck his dick in her mouth and she bit it but you'd left off the bit it part with me so i was worked at a bar back then and we would drink sometimes after hours so i came home a little toasty and i thought this will be funny which is generally my kiss of death with most things by the way if you ever party with us and i say hey you want to see something funny you do because it's probably going to be hilarious and i'm going to look dumb but so i went sneaking in and i fucking put my dick in your in your mouth while you're sleeping and i woke you woke up and you bit not hard but it was enough of a warning shot that that was like 23 years ago and guess what Cole has never done again
Speaker3: he's never just You bet. Not hard, but it was enough of a warning shot that that was like 23 years ago, and guess
Speaker1: what Cole has never done again? He's never just randomly put his dick secretly in your mouth.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: I never surprised you with that.
Speaker3: Fucking vampire.
Speaker2: I didn't bite down hard. I didn't even bite down, really. I had enough teeth to where you jerked it out and scraped your dick on my teeth.
Speaker1: Look what happened. Look where I am now.
Speaker3: All her fucking... Some people get tetanus. Nope, I got testicular canter. Not from my bed, your dick. Oh, my God. Anywho. Jeez. Okay, so number one, Amber, I hope that answered the first part of your question. The first part. It is halftime. Oh, it's halftime.
Speaker1: Well, I'll be damned.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker4: So, hey, don't forget.
Speaker3: Apparently, we're drinking some more. Do you want some more? Why the fuck not?
Speaker1: Not at this point in time.
Speaker3: Show's going downhill from here, kids. No, we're having fun. So, okay. So, don't forget about. I forgot what we're doing.
Speaker1: Crazy summer nights. That's right. Let me get one of those shit we're drinking. Hold on, everybody. This is our halftime toast.
Speaker3: Thank you. Uh, so, okay. So don't forget about, I forgot what we're doing. Crazy summer nights. That's right. We're no shit. We're drinking. Hold on, everybody. This is our halftime toast. Oh my gosh. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready. Suck my dick away.
Speaker2: We go.
Speaker1: Oh my God.
Speaker3: Quit making me laugh. I have a mouth full of booze.
Speaker4: Better than dick.
Speaker1: I blew a cock out my nose.
Speaker3: All right.
Speaker1: How come I can take that shot better than you? Oh, my God. laugh i have a mouth full of booze better than dick i blew a cock out my nose how come i can take that shot better than you huh because i'm only half the man i used to be anyways okay so uh what the halftime uh part of this show fuck don't forget uh we've got the world famous bone stock coming up it's an exclusive event and if you don't go it, you're a fucking pussy and you're messing up. So you need to go to that event. We've got all kinds of shit coming up for the Bone Stock. Also, don't forget Crazy Summer Nights. That's right, we're teaming up with Two Greeks Campground, the home of the world-famous Swing Stock. These guys kick-ass take names just like us, and we're going to have Crazy Summer Nights up there where you can be as naked as you want to be, bitches, or as dressed as you want to be, and it's going to be a fucking partay and a half. So make sure you go to www.crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y, summer, S-U-M-M-E-R, nights, N-I-G-H-T-S.com. That's crazysevernights.com. Actually, I'm just seeing how drunk I am right now. So make sure you go and get your tickets there. We're running out of cabins quickly. We're going to be fun. Miss Amanda will be naked there. I will probably somewhat be naked. We'll be drinking. Who knows what will happen, but you need to be there with us. Same at Bonstock. And, dude, get some of our cool shit. I got new shirts. We got mugs. We got shot glasses. Fucking A, man. Oh, we got Frisbees. I got Frisbees coming, too. Crazy Casper Frisbee. So, fuck yeah, man. Oh, we got Frisbees. I got Frisbees coming too. Crazy Casper Frisbee. So, fuck yeah, man. You want...
Speaker3: Yeah. Fuck yeah. Okay.
Speaker1: Back to the fucking show. Wait till our 100th episode. It's coming up. It is going to be awesome. You know what's going to happen? Amanda's having a gangbang on air.
Speaker2: I am.
Speaker1: Oh, surprise. No, I don't know what she's doing. We'll go with... don't tell him not. It'll get him to tune in. Then he'll hear Amanda go, don't make me nose blow cum. And ladies, remember, what's the sexiest sound you can make when you're with a new lover for the first time? You choose their dick over air. Just keep that in mind.
Speaker3: God.
Speaker1: I don't like to gag on dicks. I just don't. Anyways. I don't like the sound of it. I don't like the feel of it. I don't like any of it. But she was. But I can deep throw. She can deep throw like a boss. Don't worry. You can tickle the back of her fucking tonsils It's awesome She may be short, you may feel the bottom of her feet It's ticklish if your dick's big enough But it'll get there Okay, let's go on and answer the next part of the question, shall we? Okay, so it comes down to size Right Yeah, sure Uh-huh Go. Where do you start on size? Probably at the tip. Is it okay to ask? If you're really interested in somebody, shut up. If you're really interested in somebody, you can ask them what size they are. Okay, you've got to have, look, there's some lead-in with that. I kind of throw it as a joke occasionally if you're chatting back and forth. Okay, well, put it this way. Think about this for just a minute. So you go, so, you know, how big are you? And they go, well, you know, I'm pretty average. How deep are you? Olympic pool size. I mean, you see what I mean? Let me ask you this question. I have no idea.
Speaker2: No one's ever said it.
Speaker1: Do I need a snorkel? Let me ask the scuba tanks, please.
Speaker3: Oh, whatever.
Speaker1: The question would be is, that I would ask you is, does it matter if everything else is a click? Everything else is a go? Is it really, I mean, great personality, you're having a lot of fun? For me, no. Why? Because it's the personality that makes it hot. It's the foreplay, it's the passion, it's the sensualness that makes it hot for me. Right. Have I had some that are too big? Not too big, per but it's usage with it right comes with it right right have i had some that are really that are micro i have yes some have supplemented with oral that were badass at oral there um have been some that have played with toys along with it that was different i'd never experienced that before right right and then there's some that you just wasn't let down but that's what when you're with your spouse they can come in and supplement right or if you're with other people and you're going if if the gal happens to be bi also i guess the point that i wanted to make with that is i understand there are a lot in the lifestyle guys okay this isn't just ladies that have this question because guys deal with this all the time too you're gonna run into some guys that are bigger than you you're gonna run into some guys that are bigger than you. You're going to run into some guys that are the same size as you. You're going to run into some guys that are different, that are smaller than you. You're going to run into people that fuck really hard unless they're told otherwise. That's generally how I like to fuck. That's how we fuck. You're going to run into some guys that are slow because that's... We end up fucking the way we fuck our spouse a lot. Right. Okay, so you're going to see different things. So here's the thing. For the guys, don't be intimidated by the size factor. It's not intimidation. Don't judge them by the size. Don't judge it. You're not in a contest. You're still going home with home with your spouse i guess i would say to the ladies give all the guys a chance if if everything else is right i mean if the personality you enjoy their company the personality because yes we've seen guys i've seen guys that was just like oh fuck this is gonna be bad and on the way home we've had the conversation the actual fucking part left something to be desired but you're very hard to get off orally but he actually did a good job with you orally like you had you were like you were still ready to fuck me when we got home because you were ready for dick but you had had a great time the making out and him eating out he did fucking that was hot that was killer you know you've had guys that had had the same size dick to me but they you like to be pounded and they fucking harden and stop and and you know it was a different style well no because that that guy in particular was like oh i know how they like it slow, and then you go fast, and you go slow.
Speaker2: No, honey, that's your wife. I want to get pounded.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: And then you've had a guy the same size as me that fucked you very, very hard, but you did not like how the style of it. You'd had sex with him, and when he fucked, he found a new move, which happens.
Speaker3: We all find. He found a new move, and when he used he he found a new move which happens we all find
Speaker1: he found a new move and when he used the new move it didn't work with you you've had guys with big dicks like substantially bigger dicks than mine enough that it's like i you know i'm sitting like i'm gonna go fuck and and my first thought is i go she's gonna have a blast with that and then afterwards you they were it was either okay or you've had some that it was really good they knew how to use it and you and it was an awesome enjoying time and some guys that didn't know how to use it so it went keep in mind it's also our mood too right right exactly because if you're just kind of like eh and you're not really feeling it but you kind of are yeah that's going to play into the fact of how you judge their performance oh absolutely because there's a degree of super horny okay so for like amber where you guys are new in in the lifestyle here's the reality there's going to be sometimes you're going to go and you're're gonna be oh let's have fun and whatever happens happens and when when and if the hookup happens it's like okay cool that'll be fun and then there's times you're gonna be like the night was just fucking awesome from the time you walked in there was it was for whatever reason it was hot you were dancing with all the guys you really all the guys you really thought were hot were there or you know whatever just some reason by the time the hookup gets there you're just fucking horny and that's fucking killer intense and that's awesome and then there's sometimes that the the best part of the hookup is to sit around naked cracking jokes and laughing and and having fun before during and after and that's something when you tell people that are new that they're like well how can that be fun i don't know there's just something when you can sit around when you can sit around naked with people you don't know very well and crack jokes that's that's like a whole different level of that's something vanilla of people will never never understand like they think we just do it for the sex i think some of the some of the best sex we've had has been sex that was you know the sex was i don't know i don't even remember the sex was that great or not but we sure it's a lot of fucking fun in between times and we were there all night and it was the laughing and joking between times one there was the hot tub one it was good there was the one uh where they were from iowa and we went over and and we hung out with them all night we like we're switched back and forth and kind of laughing and joking in between yeah i know who you're talking about. I mean, it was good sex, but it was everything around that made it fun. And that's just a couple. So anybody that's listening going, well, I thought we were, no, there was a, we could list a shit ton of nights in different places with different people. We could give out a- When you're coming home at seven o'clock in the morning, it's a fucking good night. And we could if we wanted to start naming names we'd have a long list names of people that were just awesome that if if you were going to give a recommendation we'd be like fuck yeah and and some of it's the sex some of it's just the overall thing but here's the other part lazy lovers lazy lovers make a huge difference but for both guys and girls as a husband right it pisses me off when i see a dude if we hook up with a couple and i see the dude just want you to be on top they want you to suck his dick he wants you to suck his dick he wants you to be on top he wants you to do all the work okay because that's not how we do things i get because you're under five foot tall it's hot as fuck you do the fucking squat thing on top and that's sexy as fuck okay that's some hot fucking sex but the reality of it is is that i see that and i go that dude's just being lazy like that's not okay and usually nine out of ten times on the way home that we have that exact same conversation and it's like okay guys i understand that it's awesome that it's new pussy and it's all that but you you can't be lazy. By the same token, hey, ladies, you know what? We kind of know, unless we're totally just being clueless, if you're faking it. Look, you can make every porn queen sound in the world, but if you're laying there and you're just frigid, look, I'm looking at your face, okay? Because I've got that stupid cum face on my, like, I'm looking at your fucking face. I can see, if you're just sitting there going, Oh was faking it you're different you're my spouse i'm listening when we were new, I'm listening for shit that you'd never done with me because I'm so paranoid that you're going to fall in love with this dude's dick because it's got a different fucking vein in it than mine does. I'm still believing something stupid like that. There's a total difference. If you sneezed, I'd be like, you never sneezed when you fucked.
Speaker2: No, there's been times where you'd come home on ride home and you go, okay, when you made that noise, was that real?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Because, well, part of it is okay, I take pride in the fact that one of the things that has been cool about swinging, and I don't give two fucks what anybody says, okay? Granted, we now play alone also. Which is hot and has its own degree of hot not gonna and you know what and would i ever go back to just playing as a couple no i i mean if that's what we both said we really wanted sure but most likely not okay be like going back to being a soft swap couple or whatever that just i can't see us doing that but we never were no no but i'm just mean but one of the things that is one of the things that was has been hot about swinging as a couple is okay you i saw guys do things to you that i didn't do to you and then if you made a different noise or i'm watching your body language because it's like I asked because if you really liked it, I want to know. What did they do? I want to do it. I want to do it. You do the same thing with me because you make sure that like you make sure that you take and you're like, oh, man, when you we first okay you were not a big dick sucker till you got me right okay okay but you weren't initially into like you didn't lick balls and stuff i mean we when you started to learn how to suck dick which you are fucking the queen of it now without a doubt but i can remember the kind of what who we were with the first time though a chick like fucking went up my nuts back when i had two uh what i mean but i mean it was like looking and and the fucking my eyes rolled in the back of my head and i hit fucking factory retard stupid mode it was just like well i didn't know that was a thing right but also and i became like paralyzed and like and you're like uh what was that one porn star we watched that one porn and he was hooking up with that that one girl and said sick she wasn't into sucking oh ed powers in the power plungeunge at this moment time naomi had never sucked dick but the ball licking was okay and i just kind of went oh because all you ever hear is guys talk about having swampy balls well right but but remember also it wasn't until we had started swinging that i ever shaved yes okay so and and looking back now you know what putting a fucking hairy fucking sandwich in your mouth as you pick up the floor you know if a piece of meat drops on the floor and you have dogs and you do the five second rule and you pick it up and you try to blow it off and not all the dog hair comes off but you still eat it it's kind of gross because it's got hair and shit all over you're like and then you're picking hair on your teeth so sucking a hairy ball sack in there probably same type of thing i get it right but once my balls were shaved the first time that happened because i did i was just like ah i sound like sasquatch for the first time and you're like uh did you like that i'm like did i like it i fucking had cum shooting out my toes for christ's sakes And you're like, huh. did you like that? I'm like, did I like it? I fucking had cum shooting out my toes, for Christ's sakes. And you're like, huh. And I remember, like, two nights later, we're fucking all of a sudden, you're like, you're going to give me a blowjob, I'm like, sweet. And then all of a sudden, you're like, lick, lick, and I'm just like, ah, factory reset mode, because it was even hotter still, because you were doing it. But was because of swinging we we learned from each other or we learned from other people what we learned what other what our partners really like because we didn't even know we didn't know to have the conversation because i didn't know how much i like my balls being licked look i was not that geeky kid that spread peanut butter and called the pooch over or anything weird so i didn't know how much i never had a girl in high school lick my balls so when this chick just did it for the first time i mean i was as surprised as anybody it's like you're gonna do what whoa it was just like when you were getting spit roast by two guys and neither one of them was me and your head was over the edge of the bed oh my god that was fucking hot i had a boner thinking about that my dick wasn't involved but it was hot and that's when we found out you you also there's a harness with the hand on the throat and shit you can learn a ton swinging as a couple if you look and listen you don't have to like stare intently it doesn't have to be like you know like a cuckold type situation but you can learn a lot about yourself to go hey you know what by the way i kind of like when you like tweak my butthole you know or whatever you can learn a lot about yourself but you can learn a lot about your spouse And how to help Get your spouse off And what you'll find is When you're getting Your spouse off better You get off better I will come seven times I can shoot a load Through a wall When you're like Way into it Challenge accepted Oh god Alright you hear that on, motherfucker. No, I can't hear. I know. Now I really wish my high school buddy would have stayed tuned in. Oh, God. The shit we, you know, when we were in high school, we used to, here's what's funny. He didn't want to tune into the page. He's like, no, I'm good. And I'm sitting here thinking of this right now, and I'm going to get a hold of him later and go, dude, you're a pussy. Because this is the same type of conversations we would have had in high school but it was like you know juvenile high school guys talking about shit for those of you who are just turning in cole goes live on facebook on his regular facebook wall whoops we hadn't said anything we hadn't even started doing anything yet but all of a sudden his best friend from high school it pops up and i'm like oh fuck and we're like oh shit hey you know you know think about this right now i want everybody that's listening to this show to think about this when you hear this you're all gonna laugh about you know me almost fucking that up and you're gonna think about the conversations you had with your best friends in high school okay how much really different is it than the conversations you have with your swinger friends my best friend in high school told me i'll never forget it was a monday he'd been out with his girlfriend and he's like it's fucking sucks fucking her. I said, why? Because he's too big, and so it hurt her for him to move. So all he could do was stick it in and just keep it there. Until he came. But back then, we were young. It was in something, so we could come. Talking about banging her with a Tootsie Roll. And eating the Tootsie Roll afterwards.
Speaker2: I don't like Tootsie Rolls, but I mean, I do it.
Speaker1: I also do telling him about stopping always to get a pop for my girlfriend. She could never figure out why. Because she always wanted to kiss me after she sucked my dick. And she always swallowed him. I always like grabbed the pop and made her take a drink of pop first.
Speaker3: Always.
Speaker1: Now that doesn't faze me. Now I'm like, oh, you've been sucking another guy's dick?
Speaker2: See, I was the opposite. I didn't talk about sex or anything But you were doing it more Because I didn't know I was doing it You were doing it a lot Because girls back then You're a slut Now it's a thing of pride Of course now it's a good thing to be a slut. Well, okay, think about this.
Speaker1: It's still that, this is that whole difference of, it was back when we were kids, it was more socially acceptable to fuck than to do oral sex.
Speaker2: My world is front upon to do all the above.
Speaker1: Well, yeah, nobody's parents were sitting there going, go nail a chick, but don't fucking, you know, eat her pussy. How many guys did you ever have offered to eat your pussy in high school? That was from the drinking, not my fault. Sponsored by Jack Daniels. Oh, great. I don't think I ever had a guy eat me out. No. Here's the thing. When I was in high school, God's honest truth, sophomore year, there was a senior. He was a real popular football player. He was going out with the head cheerleader, okay? It was after homecoming. He couldn't wait to get to school to tell everybody. It wasn't that he'd fucked her because that was nothing new. It was that he got to eat her out at homecoming, and we were all fucking just mesmerized as he's explaining, you know, the whole fucking concept of fucking going muff diving, you know, I mean, because that was way more bizarre. This is why I hope hair doesn't come back. I'm just serious. It will make a full circle. And it ain't going to make that much of a full circle. If it ever comes all the way back to Chewbacca shit. Oh, my God.'t remember the first guy to eat me out probably me it might be yes it was thank you very much so we totally got off since we're getting close to being done I think we answered the question I think so I don't think it's necessary to ask a guy his size I think bottom line, what you were saying, and you correct me if I'm wrong, is more, if everything else is right, don't let size be the deciding factor. I didn't say that, but pretty much I agree with that. Seriously. But by the same token, if everything is not, if shit doesn't feel right, don't let size be the deciding factor. No. If you've had a run of bad luck with small dicks and all of a sudden a douchebag comes by, don't fuck him just because it's a big cock. Now, you know, I'll give a guy at least two times, two tries. I will. You will. I will. Yes. Because they could be having issues. Yes. They could be nervous. Yes. There's a whole lot of deciding factors in that. Yes. So I buy a rule, give them at least two tries. As long as they're cool. Well, duh. If they're not a millionite. No, you have to say that. If they're arrogant, they're not going to get a chance anyway. Okay, right there. This kind of ties into the first part of Amber's question. I'm going tell you i'm going to say this in my opinion as a guy if you're a guy and you walk up i'm like hey baby and whip a cock out you know what i don't care if that motherfucker says spalding on the sides and you can go kill baby seals with that cocksucker you know what great news fuck you you're a douchebag i'm going to be pretty turned off on letting you fuck my wife And here's the thing And that's not gonna be Everybody's gonna go You can't control her No I won't have to Because you're gonna see The same thing You're gonna go Oh really Well that's really impressive Go away There's been a couple times I went No he didn't mean that I quit it Yeah But not very often But I'm like going When you go No you are not I'm like I was young We were younger in it I don't mean that I quit it. Yeah. But not very often. But I'm like going, when you go, no, you are not. I'm like. I was young. We were younger in it. I don't do that now. Now I'm like fucking bang whoever you want. Do whatever now. No shit. Don't get, don't. Just don't get fired. Don't get fired. And did they have anything for lunch that you can bring home? That's all. Take, I think the big requirement now is take pictures. Take pictures. Yeah. Take pictures. And also try to sell merch. Okay, so kids, how close are we to the end? How are we doing? You have about four or five minutes. Okay, so thank you so much, Amber, for the questions, actually. And I know you only originally thought you had one question, but thank you for the questions. you for listening you know i want to tell everybody really quick uh thank you to everybody as the show continues to grow and we are getting more and more popularity or more and more popular have another cocktail cole um here's this uh we appreciate everybody coming in we appreciate you guys visiting our sponsors and and that means a ton to us we appreciate all that shit and just you know uh this is a lot of fun we love what we do i mean it's hard to believe the 100th episode is coming up as quick as it is this is like oh by the way this is season three episode 94 oh way to say that's beginning so we're we're like six away uh we do appreciate we do appreciate it very much and uh i don't know so probably the next time you're's here, I'm probably this next week going to go out and get my ears pierced. I've always wanted to do that. You said long hair since now. Why? So have her. He's always wanted to do it. And this is like a little awakening that he should go ahead and do it. Yeah. So we're going to go ahead. We're going to go ahead and probably pierce my ears this next week. So, yeah, I'm just going all in. That's what we do. uh here's the thing if you like what you hear make sure you're checking us out leave comments on whatever whatever uh uh where you hear our podcast whether it's pod beam or pod bean or apple or wherever wherever you hear us at uh leave comments uh if you really like whatever feel free to go to to uh our patreon www.patreon.com backslash crazy casbah send us emails uh send us uh your notes love mail hate mail we don't care we're all we're all good uh come to our events we want to meet people this summer we are getting ready we're going to go on tour so uh look if you're part of a club or a group and you go hey we you guys need to come out and visit us this summer and come party with it We like getting ready. We're going to go on tour. So, look, if you're part of a club or a group and you go, hey, you guys need to come out and visit us this summer and come party with us. We like to party. Yeah. Just saying. So, if you have one of those, let us know. I got booze. We'll travel. Yeah, no shit. And if you've got liquor in a place for us to crash, we're there. So, you know, let us know. And because this summer, we are going to be on the road because we're like empty nesters. We have a dog. We have a dog. That's all we've got, so we're ready to go. So, how are we doing? I probably should have been in my head. Yeah, I'm just close enough. Do your little closing sponsor thing. Okay. All right, yeah, so again, I want to take a quick minute to thank our sponsors so very much. Again, Panda Seduction, they have thousands of products, uh, for all of your adult fun. So seriously toys, uh, they've got clothing, novelties, uh, lubes, you name it, uh, educational things. If you need those as well. And so much more, their website is huge. Visit them at pandaseduction.ca. Uh, they'll have your product drop shipped right to your door. Uh don't forget to visit our own website www.crazykazbah K-A-S-B-H at gmail.com and get all your cool merch. Don't worry all of our merch. You gave the email to visit. Yes you did. No it's.com. CrazyKazbah.com Okay Okay. Anyways, well, it's CrazyKazba.com. The email is Gmail. Anyways, all of our stuff, just so you know, now I've got to say this real quick. All of our stuff, some of it says Crazy Kazba. We have some new stuff coming up that says Crazy Truth, the name of the show, for those just figuring that out. And we have stuff with just the middle finger. So if you don't want to explain what Crazy Kazba is, but you just want to have the big fuck off,
Speaker3: we've got stuff for you. We've got shirts and all that stuff for you that just says fuck off uh so anyways it doesn't say it doesn't say fuck off it's a non-verbal gesture it'll show your love to your co-workers first good morning fuck off anyways all right kids we are out of here doing it the only way i know how the only way i want to and the only fucking way we ever will casbah style out bye