Krazy truth #87 Holiday Party nightmares

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I am your extremely tired but host with the most coal and i'm here with the lovely lovely and uh geographically geographically confused miss amanda hey or hey there we go exactly and you are listening to crazy truth i know that's odd uh this is episode 87 season three episode 87 now uh to tell you what here, before we get rolling along too far, are you fucking serious? Miss Amanda's over here practicing her fucking gobbling cock move. So before we get going too far, it is very rare. It is very rare. Put that finger away before you poke an eye out. It's very, very rare that I have an episode named when we start. But this one's a fucking good one. So I actually have this one named. Okay. So this one's actually, this is actually holiday horror stories. There you go. Holiday party horror stories. Because these are not our story. These are people that have sent stuff into us. But I digressress uh before i get ahead of myself now last week i fucked up and i said that that was the last show that people would hear before crazy one of nights i was lying rawr it's this show oh that's so it is yes you'll hear this so wow you were wrong if you have not signed up to go to our crazy one of nights party what the the fuck's the matter with you? Sign the hell up and get in here. It's going to be a party of a lifetime. You're going to want to be a part of it. I know we sure are. I mean, we're going to be there. So just saying. And obviously, Miss Amanda's practicing her cock guzzling. So you want to be a part of the show. But before we get there, shall we say a quick word to our sponsor? Say a word. Hi, sponsors. A shout out to our sponsors. www.sexystripperclothing.com. Quality, exotica, rave, festival, pole dancing, clothing, specializing in sexy stripper clothing, footwear, dresses, lingerie, and much, much more. Again, you can visit them at www.sexystripperclothing.com. And don't forget will be at crazy one of nights you can come out and get some stuff right there and remember when you try on the shoes make them clack clack that's my own personal thing i get off on that anyways uh also we're coming to the final of the stretch go see biscuit go baby uh we need your vote still don't forget to go to www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote vote for miss amanda's ass that's in one of the categories vote that ends like wednesday or something ends the 15th yeah no it ends the 15th so they when they hear this show they can that was wednesday oh i don't know what 12 5 7 tuesday wednesday i don't know it's soon if you're listening at home go vote uh so the thing is is we are in there for uh amanda's ass is in there, and it's soon, if you're listening at home, go vote So the thing is We are in there for Amanda's ass And it's a sexy ass And also for podcasts That would be us, Crazy Truth Party theme, Crazy Winter Nights In case you haven't heard of that before Because we keep running into that How the fuck, I have no idea And also And also for Newcomer of the Year Which is the Crazy Casual organization So vote Alright, there we go I'll see you next time. I have no idea. And also for Newcomer of the Year, which is the Crazy Casual organization. So vote. All right. There we go. Are we ready to begin? Yes. Shall we start? Now, for those of you that don't know, again, and it's your first time listener, we also record this live in front of our large, large, huge, enormous, with girth, Facebook crowd at home crazy casbah it's a secret group don't tell the others if you'd like to join that secret group let me know send us an email what you're just loopy look man i've slept a total of like well today was the one exception i think i got what four hours four or five hours yeah okay so up until then over the last week and a half i've slept uh in a week probably 14 hours i keep waking up in my chair and i keep waking up when i like i'm looking at my phone and last night i woke up when i dropped my phone and my head hit the desk is that when you came out for dinner because he does off and goes i i just hit my head i just knock myself silly so i'm not actually tired uh i'm just uh concussion protocol there you go oh fuck okay so let's begin shall we we shall okay so here's the thing all of these letters and i've been saving these we've been getting for the last couple uh about oh i don't know a couple weeks now and and you have this happens all the time this time of year so we all know people go to holiday parties right before you get going on the holiday parties let's
Speaker2: continue the holiday okay so our own holiday party ish it wasn't really a party but sure we'll go with it okay so we know from the last show or show before two shows before your parents were asking
Speaker1: I don't ask questions basically we were out it ish not completely well we solved that fucking but on thursday she needed help yes you need help putting away christmas decorations so cole helped her. Yes. And what happened? We were sitting down to dinner. And in my family, the dynamic's very simple. If mom wants to ask a question that she thinks is going to upset us or not give the desired response of myself or my brother, dad has to do it. So we're sitting there eating dinner, just sitting there eating dinner dinner having a great conversation about nothing to do with anything in particular when my dad goes so what's this big event you're doing this weekend can you tell us about it and my mom was just intently staring i'm like so i took about 15 seconds in my mind i'm just went well i gave them gave them every opportunity to let it drop. They did not take that opportunity. So at this point in time, I went, well, go big or go home. They're going to find out sooner or later. And so, yeah. So for the next two hours, we sat and talked about crazy winter nights. We talked about swinging and kinksters and poly and hotels when they work with you and when they when they don't let me tell you something until you've had the opportunity to sit down with 270 plus year olds and try to explain a kinkster uh you just haven't fucking lived that is great they had no idea poly they kept uh so that means whole groups of people just go have sex with other groups of people. No, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, so we went through the whole long, arduous process. And so I told them all about Crazy Casman, how long we've had it and everything. Boy, look at all the fucking smiley, laughy faces. Yeah, it's great. And they're just badgering, hammering me with questions. My mom keeps trying to interject. And my dad a couple of times is like, Linda, shut shut up you don't know what he's talking about let him finish and uh so you know and and so finally they're like so i told him about crazy summer nights and you know and some of the good things that we do and whatever and somebody i go so so you guys been doing this about three years i go no we've had the group years. I said, we've been in this about nine years. Ooh, talk about hearing a pin drop. Nobody was eating the dessert at that moment in time. And they're kind of sitting there. And I let the silence just simmer, you know, just kind of let it stew in its own juices for a minute. And I just you know but here's the thing i would put the quality of our marriage against any other marriage out there and my mom begrudgingly said boy i agree with that i agree with that so now they have lots of questions about the hotel takeover is it legal you know uh and once we got past the initial parts of no we don't just randomly fuck everything that moves and everybody doesn't just fuck everything that moves i think we're i think we're okay now Now, let's go. we got past the initial parts of no, we don't just randomly fuck everything that moves and everybody doesn't just fuck everything that moves. I think we're I think we're okay. Now whether or not this has spurred my mom going ahead and tuning in to shit she wasn't supposed to, I have no fucking idea. But so yeah, now we are officially outed. As long as your dad didn't grope me. You never know. I found it funny you had to explain BDSM because she didn't even get it. Oh, my God. So I'm like, well, gosh, did you at least bring up Fifty Shades of Grey? It's a horrible reference. I did. But. And she goes, I never read that. Have you ever seen somebody walking around with a collar? No. Have you ever? They were around in the 60s and 70s. I mean, I don't think they're as fucking naive as they want but the thing was i never even broke a sweat i even turned red i'm like you know fuck it you want to know now they didn't ask me how many people we fucked i'd have spurted that off without even thinking i'd be like fucking bam i don't care at this point in time now it's pretty much fair game so i'm sure knowing my my mother i will at some point she's gonna ask me questions and i'll have to be like little kid shut up so you know whatever but yeah so now i didn't think about it but you know when they went to jamaica or wherever they went your mom actually felt compelled to take her top of her bathing suit yeah go well what did you see around you yeah there was probably some of our friends are actually just just saying uh yeah and if they did that trip now they'd see my underwear it makes it that way about once a year so uh yeah so that's so you got did your mom and dad buy tickets to crazy no but i tried to sell let me tell you if you if she goes well we want to come see it just to see you in action because we know how good you are i I'd let them. They'd come in a heartbeat. And I wouldn't fucking bat an eye. I'd charge them the $51 to get to the door and make them book a fucking room, too. I've never met. She is supportive. No, she's supportive of you. But how to explain your mother in a term that's not so derogative. Bat crazy but not a swinger no she's on the prude side oh yeah fuck yeah so i can't even picture that your dad's ever got his dick sucked yeah i don't probably i don't know i don't want to ask i don't want to find out that would be gross to stick that in your mouth is what i can see your mom saying and i'm not kidding well you know now that we've had that we've had this new bridge opened and whatever i guess we can have those maybe the nipple piercing nails makes sense to her yeah we've you know look there's here's what's really funny do that i know here's what's really funny is as at christmas before the discussion or no it was we had we did a pseudo christmas a week early they always have me say grace because i'm efficient and so my mom always is saying how much i should be a minister and she had said again you know cole i just think you've missed you should be a minister and i said then i go i think there's a few other things i might need to work on before i go jumping out you know to become a minister i have a feeling now she might she might get it a little bit more but look here's i told her about our article in asn magazine she didn't say it but you could see she was like well i want to see it i mean she said kudos god love my parents because they are that type of game like supportive of whatever we do even if after you left they went oh my god can you believe yeah but but you know my mom and the fact that we were on an article in a magazine. I mean, I guarantee she wants to see it. Now she's going to read it and be like, sport fucking? What? I mean, you know, it is what it is. But, you know, she's still supportive and God love her for it. And it's awesome. So, you know, and I made sure. And I'm going to put this out here. I threw my fucking kids under the bus, too, the little fucked sticks. Because, you know and i made sure and and i'm gonna put this out here i threw my fucking kids under the bus too the little fucked sticks because you know they all ditched me everybody ditched me at christmas day when this came up and i made sure to throw my kids under the bus that they all knew and they've seen you know and they have their opinions and whatever you little fuckers ain't escaping this shit jackasses anyway so two hours later we finished putting away the christmas direct decorations and i got to go home and i just texted me and i said I'm putting it on the page mom and dad asking about kwn we're out now for sure so there we go so you know and we are so there we go might make holidays a little more awkward not for me you whore. No. But I don't know. Maybe it'll be way more popular. It depends which family members they tell. I'm just saying. We could have some of my aunts and uncles and be like, I'd like to come over for Christmas. Anyway. That's horrible. But, you know, I mean, hopefully now they've picked up the thing let's's not ask any more questions because i didn't hesitate so that might stop them from asking anything else maybe you should give your parents some crazy casbah t-shirts well they had seen them i you know hey mom would you like a thong the the flipping off finger your mom i'm not wearing that out in public oh wear it on a thong. You know, Mom, if you take a picture of that and send it in, you could win a VIP package. Ew. Do you really want to see that? Hold on. Let me think about it. No. But you know what? That's more people at Crazy Winter Nights. And you know what? Hey, look. We don't kink shame. We don't body shame, we don't age shame. So you know what, if my fucking 70 plus year old parents want to go to crazy winter nights and run around and fucking boink people and whatever, I don't want to share a room with them, but I'm not going to stop them from doing it. I mean, it is what it is. Oh, hey, I think I just saw your mom and dad. You want to tell me? You have known my dad for a long time. Do you think my dad wouldn't laugh his ass off finding a 20-something with daddy issues? He'd be all over. And my mother would be like, ah.
Speaker2: You're just like your dad.
Speaker3: I know.
Speaker1: And you know what?
Speaker4: I'm 47.
Speaker1: And you know what I'm looking for? A 20-something with daddy issues. He would need grandpa issues.
Speaker2: Okay, so if you really don't, my grandpa has Parkinson's. My grandpa, my dad. My dad has Parkinson's. And so, but my dad has a fucking incredible sense of humor. He has a hilarious sense of humor. My dad would be the first one that would make the joke, like, you know, make some comment about, like, you know, if you fuck me, it's like fucking a big dildo. I mean, he would make that kind of a comment, you know, I'll shake and get you know i'll shake and get you off multiple he would totally do that shit because he's just like me so or i'm just like all crap yeah my mom would be more like my mom would want everybody you know she'd be she'd be to get her not have a phone when anytime i was talking to take videos would be impossible that would be everything well you want to get pictures you can't get pictures at least now you have an excuse to be on your phone when you're around them It's work stuff It's work stuff Somebody's got a dick or pussy issue And I need to solve it now To the cooter cave So yeah Good grief So there you go See welcome to my world So this is why a lot of times we fucking bag, you know, a lot of the other things out there are all about having to be secret and they can't be added. Look, you know what? Here's what didn't happen. We didn't die or nothing. At 47 years old, you know what? I'm almost 50 years old. I'm going to stick my dick where I'm going to stick my dick, regardless with without mom and dad's permission I haven't I wouldn't want to just come out and blatantly tell my dad your dad would be way cooler with it than my parents would just randomly just bring it up he's 81 granted if he asked me I'd tell him because I'm pretty sure he probably was when I was younger. And, you know.
Speaker1: How do you think that's going to come up? Hey, Amanda, quick question for you. Do you fuck other people?
Speaker2: They saw drinking pictures from the bar. My brother thought I was an alcoholic.
Speaker1: Your brother's a fucking tool. So there's a huge difference. We can agree upon that. Your brother tried to say that he was not. He tried to accuse us of being a swingers when he was the one that told me a story about being drunk and not being able to tell which one was his wife. And it was a happy accident. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It was. And his wife at that point in time came out lesbian. Yeah. Left him for another girl. I wonder if he got to watch some bi-action. He very, he very might have. And, but he did run to your dad and try to fucking, I think that we have a drinking problem. We don't have a drinking problem. We have a fucking sex problem. There's a total difference. We can drink just fine. We're just horny as fuck all the time. Leave us alone. Your dad would give two shits, man. No. He called you a pussy whipped hippie. Yeah, day two of knowing me. Yeah. Yeah, so in a public place. So I don't think he's really going to care at all.
Speaker2: No, well, I didn't say he'd care. I'm just saying I'm not going to just go, Hey, Dad, hey, guess what? We're swingers. Now, if he were to ask me, I'd tell him.
Speaker1: Yeah, even your 100-year-old grandmother would just go,
Speaker4: Oh, well, that's neat.
Speaker1: She wouldn't care.
Speaker2: No, and then the next time you see her, she goes, Well, did you meet anybody new?
Speaker1: Yeah, she'd be like, So, have you had any quality playtime?
Speaker4: She would.
Speaker2: Oh, my God.
Speaker1: Yeah, and you know what, rock on, and that's totally the way she would do it. She'd be like, oh, yeah. The thing is, is when we're out there and the house is 180 degrees and stuff, it's like, Grandma, we need to go to the bar so we can hook up. Okay, have fun.
Speaker3: Yeah. Bring him back, I'll cook cook him dinner i can hear it now we wouldn't do that yeah no no but we would take her along with us she likes her beer this is you know it is what it is okay should okay now that we've digressed yes are we at halftime rn jesus christ what is what is buzzing all is fucking phone? Probably your phone. Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell's wrong with these people? Don't touch my phone. You can't look through there. There might be shit from girls. Jesus. Oh, wait. We have an open relationship. My bad. Oh, I did that big sniff on the air. Oh, don't do that. I'm sorry, everybody. You'll start getting lectures from me. I'm sorry. I will quit doing coke right before we go on. Okay. The stripper left. What do you care? But her ass lingers. Okay, should we go ahead with the topic at hand? There was a topic. What the hell's going on? What day is it? Blue Bayou. Okay, let's go. So the first So, what this show was originally going to be about,
Speaker1: other than my own personal family fucking jack-offery... Is that a word? Wasn't he the Toys R Us giraffe? No, it wasn't Jack Offery.
Speaker3: It was God. Jeffrey.
Speaker2: God.
Speaker3: Really?
Speaker1: He had a big hard neck. That shaft's got ears. Anyways, okay, so they're bankrupt. They can't sue us. That's horrible. Yeah, yeah. We're going to be popular in Vegas. By the way, we're going to Vegas. In a couple weeks, we're going to go to Vegas and fuck shit up in Vegas. Let's see if we can get banned from that city okay so the topic at hand that we haven't actually started with yet was christmas horror stories or not christmas but just holiday holiday party horror stories okay okay so as i've gotten some of these in i've been kind of waiting to put some of these together because now please we are deeply caring individuals and we care deeply for all the people that are listeners and we don't wish ill or anything bad upon anybody. Please understand, as we start laughing through these because they're fucking hilarious, we're not laughing at anyone, we're laughing with you. And our heart goes out to each and every one of you just saying okay so you got a comment of i like sleep deprived cole you do shall we ah all right wait give me another week take them home you ain't seen nothing yet bumpkin okay so the first the first uh the first story comes i'm trying which one I don't know. wait give me another week you can take them home you ain't seen nothing yet pumpkin okay so the first the first uh the first story comes i'm trying which one do i want to do that i've got a couple i do i yeah i haven't told you about any of them no you haven't so just pick one okay so the first one uh comes from dnd ironically, they did not want to give their real names.
Speaker5: D&D, they are out of Denver.
Speaker1: I think that's how they came up with a D.
Speaker5: So I'm not for sure.
Speaker2: Anyways, the letter states,
Speaker1: Love your show.
Speaker3: Didn't know where else to turn.
Speaker1: Thought you guys could help us. Oh, goody.
Speaker4: Maybe.
Speaker1: Anyways, we are a relatively new couple, about three months in the lifestyle.
Speaker3: And we had a Christmas party for my work.
Speaker5: And this is when things went wrong.
Speaker3: I was like, okay.
Speaker1: So, short version of what went wrong. There was another couple at the Christmas party that they were at. Everybody was drinking heavily, profusely. They're new swingers. The other couple is not swingers. But they were drinking at the Christmas party. After the Christmas party was over, we decided to go to a bar next door and continue to have some nightcaps, but it didn't end there. And after a few more discussions, we decided it would be really fun to all go back and pile in our hot tub. Was their goal to turn a vanilla couple? That was not their goal to turn to turn a vanilla couple that was not their goal okay the goal but as the night progressed and as everybody had been talking everybody was hitting off very very well everybody was having a lot of fun there was a lot of alcohol consumed when we got back to the to their house they went back to their house uh and as they got into we're getting the hot tub it became a big funny thing that nobody had swimsuits and so why not you know obviously we're all adults we can get in without swimsuits and and needless to say once they got in without swimsuits. All hell broke loose.
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: Everything else happened. And so they played for quite a while in the hot tub, then were out of the hot tub playing. And then as the alcohol started to wear off, uh-oh, yep, as the alcohol started to wear off, Uh, the other couple got really uncomfortable and all of a sudden had to go really, really quickly. And you could just tell it did not leave all. The husbands worked together. Okay. Okay. The husbands worked together. And since then, it has been extremely awkward at work. They want to try to apologize apologize and because now it's starting to interfere with work what should they do did the other couple did the vanilla couple know that they were swingers not in the beginning well if they didn't know they were swingers then all parties are guilty yes well and you're exactly right because they did not know. Now, when I reached out to them, which I do, I try to reach out to them, there's a lot of gray areas in this because with the amount of booze that was consumed, there was Ubers involved. That's how drunk everybody was getting. There were Ubers to get to the next locations and stuff, and so there is parts of the conversation they don't remember because my thing was did you explain that you were swingers did this come up what was going on in the ubers well we're pretty sure there was a little bit of touchy-feely going on in the ubers already uh because when they had an uber that was like a van one that was gonna be like a minivan, of course, his wife and the other guy's husband and the other husband got in the backseat. You know, so they didn't sit like with their appropriate couples to begin with. So there's a lot of gray areas of exactly what happened, how it happened, or what was ever said. So they don't really know. And my question was, have you or you and your wife made the effort to reach out and like tackle this have you invited him over for the hot tub party again just saying did you have what do you do new year's no but i mean did you have you reached out and and tried to address the situation and they have not well obviously that needs to happen. Well, yeah. Just to lessen the awkwardness at work. Well, and that was the other thing. I said, how do you mean it's starting to affect work? Well, the two husbands were pretty good friends. We're pretty good friends at work. Obviously, they became closer for a moment in a hot tub, but they friends they were friends at work and they worked they work on a lot of projects i didn't ask him what they what type probably what they do i thought no that's important but it's now there's like an avoidance so my first question my first thing would be this is as much as the the people writing dnd writing us may think the other people are doing all the avoiding but I would say there's probably more mutual going on than one might think and exactly I agree there has to be there has to be a degree of you're going to have to take this bull by the horns. Sober. Start with a dinner date and invite them over for a fine glass of water with their dinner. Well, if you... A, why are y'all doing things that drunk that is so because very correct and mature but you've got to admit that's funny as fuck no it's funny it's good look okay as new swingers there's mistake number one as swingers one is that everybody was really trashed it should be you know maybe so drunk that you can't remember part of it. Which, that's on the swinger couple. That's on the swinger couple because they should know about our swingers. The other couple, the vanilla couple, doesn't understand those rules. A lot of vanillas have turned into other things based on too much alcohol in a hot tub. Okay? But the swingers should know. know i agree 100 but there has to be also some curiosity on the vanilla couple to act upon what they did because even if you're extremely drunk yes it's not that you you know what you're doing well you should you just are a little bit more comfortable to do it the problem is is we can't necessarily help because we don't know is like look if midway through at the second bar or at the when you left the party went to the bar you started saying hey we're swingers and you start talking about it at that point in time it very well could have been the curiosity thing and they've always considered or we don't know so we we can't i mean there's no way guilt well with the vanilla couple they didn't here's the deal no matter where they are in the process even if they were just if they had ever pondered it at one point in time all the other things they'd not done rules and all that shit so and as and then as a sober the sobriety started to kick back in i get it the here Here's the reality, though. D&D, what you have to do, as painful as it may be, you're going to have to address the situation. You're going to have to address it. You're going to have to, if you feel like there needs to be apologies made, only you know that part. You can say, hey, let's go to a coffee. Let's go to the bar. No. I was going no no i was gonna say the bar but i'm like no let's go and even dinner's a little too formal i'd almost say let's go to a coffee house and let's discuss this a little bit because we at least need to i i think the husbands as the friends at work that where it's affecting work need to be the ones to start it yes i think that you should at some point in time i think you should the wives need to be involved in that discussion also as couples to correct it just for a comfort level but initially you've got to solve the problem at work which is look come on bro code you know i apologize you need to make apologies as necessary you need to you know you need to fix that because you have to work with that person jumping into a hot tub naked where'd you think it was well and that okay because even the person's house they have more than one swim trunk right well but i mean let's face it there's a lot of people that you know some people say oh we can do that we can just be naked hot tub nothing happens well then you're fucking doing it wrong but i mean no i i get it i've never jumped in well i was at a swinger thing to jump in a hot tub but i've never jumped into gone to another person's house and gotten a hot tub yeah no i mean it's just one of those things and but the thing is the bottom line is you're going to have to address this issue you're going to have to you can't you can't dance around it look the relationship at work with with you and and the other husband is only going to get worse okay and it's going to continue to affect and then then you're going to have other people asking questions so you cannot do that you have to have that discussion uh but as swingers dnd you need to take a look at some of the shit of just like like we talked about about being super drunk. Look, I'm notorious for running my fucking mouth when I'm, when I'm drunk. If somebody, if I start flirting with somebody, you've taken my phone away on more than one occasion. Okay. But you need to, you guys need to reexamine how that's all worked out. The other thing that they never told me, I tried to get back to him again and I never heard back but was what has it done in dnd's relationship because that's true new swingers okay i can see that having when you and i were brand new if something like that would have happened why didn't something like that happen if something that would have happened uh it could have really fucked with us for a couple months like made, made us really be like, uh, I don't know if we want to do this. Oh, my God. So, not only do you need to confront the situation at your work and with, you know, to get that stopped. You might think about having some conversations with each other as well. Because you need to make sure that you need to look at this and decide, hey what what went wrong here you know i mean merry christmas i'm all god tried and tried to look for that kind of shit when i was before we were into the lifestyle i would have killed if something like that happened like sweet here we go here we tried to make moves on the neighbors no we didn't it didn't work no it didn't work no obviously but we weren't fucking train wrecked either no it's like but wow so yeah you got a fucking yeah you have got to address it though i'm telling you at the work situation you're going to see a theme in a lot of these stories these these things i'm going through today at the in the work situation if you do not address it it will only fester it will it will turn from a beautiful beautiful flower to a festering pus-filled sore if you're not careful i mean and that sounds gross because that's exactly what it will turn into because you don't here's the thing you don't need him as he gets more and more it's more and more awkward to have him start running his mouth about well you know what they do because he'll Because he'll tell the story that you're swingers. He'll just leave off the part about him and his wife fucking you. That's how that works. Yeah. So you want to solve that thing. It's just halftime. It's halftime. Okay. Hey, great. Hey, once again, halftime, because this is the last show before Crazy Winter Nights. If you have not had a chance, sign up. Come check us out, www.crazywinternights.com. See what all the hubbub is all about. And also, get your Crazy Truth and Crazy Kazba merchandise today. We got some new stuff coming here in 2020. But go to www.crazykazba, K-R-A-Z-Y-K-A-S-B-H.com and get your merchandise. Don't forget also to to visit our Patreon we had a new Patreon sign up to get a special picture and a special text once a week from Miss Amanda at www.patreon.com backslash crazy Kazma hey take a picture for our Twitter account why are we doing this would you take a picture let's take a selfie you should be a bitch about that anyway so visit us today and if you have questions or topics you'd like us to talk about send us an email at crazy.casba at gmail.com and and taking a picture and we'll answer those questions for you on the air you look goofy you do your do your head down thing. Oh, yeah, you know, I'm hiding shit. That's okay. Okay. All right, back to the show. You're hiding shit? I'm hiding shit. Okay. You're not supposed to hide stuff. You know what sound that is? That's me drinking water. See, there you go. This way you know. Okay. Why don't you just sit quiet when I do that?
Speaker3: Do what?
Speaker1: Drink water. You're supposed to, like, fill in. There's not supposed to be dead air. Nobody likes dead air.
Speaker3: Dead air. Dead air.
Speaker1: Dead air. Who wants another story?
Speaker4: I do, Uncle Cole. I do, Uncle Cole.
Speaker2: Fucking loopy.
Speaker1: Yeah, we're going to record another one of these at 3 in the morning. We're going to see how that one fucking goes.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So, all right.
Speaker2: I get my sleep.
Speaker3: I need it.
Speaker1: It's all right, pumpkin. Send you rally. Send you rally. Okay, so.
Speaker2: I worked like 56 hours this week.
Speaker1: I know you did, and you do a damn good job, and I'm damn proud of it. You can bring home the bacon. You can fry it up in a pan. And I'll never let you forget you're my man. For those of you that are not young enough to know that reference, Google it. What commercial was that for? It was like either pantyhose or Maybelline. No, it wasn't Maybelline. It was like... I'm a woman. If you know what commercial it was for, it was like rubber gloves or some shit. Is it rubber gloves or panties? I don't know. Anyways, now we're definitely going to get sued. Okay, so let's go to the next story. Because this one's fucking hilarious. I love this next story.
Speaker2: Someone's going to have to tell me what the hell that was from.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker2: Because I remember her walking around in some, like, 50s outfit.
Speaker1: I just remember Nair.
Speaker2: She had a frying pan.
Speaker1: I just remember Nair. Who wears short shorts? I wear short. Because I was a little kid, and I was like, that commercial's fucking hot.
Speaker3: Perfume. Perfume. There you go.
Speaker1: Was it bacon-centered perfume?
Speaker3: Just saying.
Speaker2: Oh, Jesus. Stop it. Anyways. Yeah, Nair. Look itume. There you go. Was it bacon-centered perfume? Just saying. Oh, Jesus. Stop it. Anyways, yeah, there. Look it up. Google that commercial. That was a young man's first vision of possible cooters on TV. What? Okay, so we got it. It was Giovan perfume, and then someone else's. I think it was Anjali or Injali.
Speaker3: That's kind of, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker2: Why don't you Google it? I'll have to look it up.
Speaker1: Okay, I'm going to go to this next story. This next story is fucking funny as fuck.
Speaker3: Go for it.
Speaker1: Okay, so this next story, when I opened this email, I was so fucking giddy to put this one on. Actually, the next two two but this one is just I fucking love this one. It's just priceless. Okay, so this one comes to us from Jim. Okay. It's about a couple but it's only from Jim.
Speaker2: Okay. Okay.
Speaker1: Jim and the other half of this couple do listen to our
Speaker2: show. Okay. Okay. But only Jim wrote the letter. Okay. Okay. Jim and the other half of this couple do listen to our show. Okay.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: But only Jim wrote the letter.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker3: Jim.
Speaker2: There must be a significance behind that. I guess we'll find out.
Speaker1: Oh, yes, there is. Jim is from Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker3: Hey. Hey.
Speaker1: And Jim's letter starts off with, I'm so fucking pissed, I don't know what to do. And I was like, well, I'll be damned. Here we go. So Jim works for a large company in Atlanta.
Speaker2: That narrows it down.
Speaker1: It does, and it's probably better that way. It works for a large company, and he's worked there for several, several years, and he is a middle management type person with the opportunity to advance and continue to grow and their christmas parties and their parties are very big affairs except the last couple of years in the interest of political correctness because they are a multinational company they no longer do a christmas party it's a holiday party nope they do a new year's party oh what a great idea it's still everybody's dressed up everybody likes it and the whole nine yards okay the holiday party they rent out a big ballroom they do they they no expense is spared according to jim it is an incredible event every year and everybody looks forward to it every single year excellent they have all different levels of staff there okay so fucking awesome anywho so jim and his wife are new swingers new new he goes as you would, as you would say, we're really new.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: On further investigation, they're like a month and a half, two months new. They're like new, new swingers.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: And swinging has opened up, has totally broadened their horizons and tapped into, as he put it, whole new levels of fantasy and sexual adventure for us. Okay. At no point in time does this sound like why Jim is so fucking angry, right? Nope. So apparently... Well, first time things is what I'm thinking. They've had some tremendous success and tremendous luck and have been hitting it hard right out of the gate. So they've been hooking up with people right out of the gate. They are, as he put it, they are financially well off. They're able to go to the higher-end clubs and whatever, and they've had tremendous success. They don't look their age. Well, kudos. Good job. Good job, Jim. Okay. And when I got a hold of Jim, I asked him what Jim's's wife name was and uh he goes bitch okay so jim and bitch go out and are having a lot of fun what an introduction one of the things is is that uh this has opened their things to role playing and talking about deeper fantasies and activities okay now this is the part where it gets really funny jim's boss is a 53 year old man in excellent shape single has that grain hair not totally gray you know the salt and pepper in really good shape and as Jim said himself, looks damn good in his $3,000 Armani suits.
Speaker4: Of course.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: And his wife, a.k.a. to quote him, bitch, had been recently talking about the fact that she was definitely attracted to the boss and would love to fuck his boss. And so they did some role playing about activities happening with the boss and would love to fuck his boss and so they did some role-playing about activities happening with the boss okay so fast forward we're to the new year's eve party the night before they had been to a swingers event okay and got laid and there was some fantasy stuff going on they did not party hard because they knew they knew they were going to be drinking the next night, but still, were pretty revved up, and it had been a great experience for them. A great experience. They were super revved up about it. Fast forward to the New Year's Eve party, and there's lots of booze. There's lots of drinking. There's lots of encouraged drinking the whole nine yards, and as it worked out, when the mighty ball dropped so to speak at midnight it was unplanned but having to be their table was they were right by the boss's table okay as he puts it his career he is not at that level but he works directly that his boss does know who he is and it's not like a nameless person knows him and the whole nine yards and i've met them at other functions before needless to say when the ball drops him people were doing the hugging and normally there's you know appropriate kisses on the cheek his his wife was again extremely intoxicated and planted one on him and i said oh and he goes and planted one on him. And I said, oh, and he goes, no, planted one on him and proceeded to grab his dick on his suit and say, let's fuck.
Speaker2: Nice.
Speaker1: The boss was not impressed, needless to say. Neither was the boss's date, apparently. The Monk Brothers and the Monk Brothers and the was not impressed and tried to politely push her away and then much more firmly get her hand off of his dick and turn to Jim and say, do you find this appropriate? At which point Jim is obviously apologizing profusely and the boss turned around to walk away and so Jim was dragging her out of their party. So what he wants does do is how should he handle this at work because now he's afraid that his career is totally derailed after he's been with his company for 15 plus years and his wife does not was trying to say it was an accident and does not see him the harm in it because she's pretty sure his dick got hard while he grabbed it I couldn't make this shit if i wanted this is so awesome i was just like oh fuck yeah this is i and i said do you care if i do something he goes no i we i really want to know too i'm ready to leave her because of this so it's not funny but it is really funny and i did get jim reaching out to him we actually talked on the phone i did get him to laugh about it I did explain that there's no way I could do this without giggling so he knew that he's gonna hear this he's not gonna be like oh my god from a woman's perspective would you like to start well if I was the date I I'd been pissed off. Oh, fuck yeah. Your new new, that new, you're going to have some shit to work out. Well, that's a little more than shit to work out, isn't it? You know, I have a thing where I'm not not gonna have sex with anybody at work with so i'm not even gonna fantasize about it i might after they quit okay all right we'll go yes okay yes you have yes i have uh-huh you key point here she knew about it and was involved. Yes. Yeah. So, but let's put that out there. Well, no, I was reading, so I didn't really hear what you said. Jesus fucking Christ. Because Shelly said it too, the wife needs to apologize. Yes. Granted, as the wife that was so intoxicated and doing something that inappropriate i'd be too embarrassed too okay i don't i don't believe that the wife the wife has done all she needs to do in the corporate office setting the wife needs to stay the fuck away yeah because okay number one is again to see with this theme with being too drunk. That's number one. Number two for Jim in this situation. Buddy. See, we have this theme with being too drunk. That's number one. Number two, for Jim in this situation, buddy, anybody, when you're at an event, any event, and you're with your spouse, you got to keep an eye on your spouse. If your spouse starts to seem too drunk, whether it's a swinger event, a vanilla event, going to the grocery store, I don't care what it is. You should be keeping an eye on your spouse or your significant other, okay? So there's a little bit of that. She needs to figure out what the fuck she's doing and apologize to Jim, to the husband. Yeah. But as much as this is going to be painful and to do, because it is going to be painful. And there's not necessarily any way that you can salvage this completely uh jim you're gonna have to go in and sit down and and you know profusely apologize to the boss and you know that should that change those parties where they're not going to be allowed that much alcohol well i mean you know what at this point in time i'd lie i'd be like i put her in rehab i mean so something i mean something i mean something and you can apologize and go i did not realize she was that drunk i am so sorry yeah you know we i will never bring her to another because the last time we were out you kept saying i'm fine and you did all the eye gestures and everything else that said that you usually do when you're just i was fine until the last thing to be drunk but you were hammered well when the last drink hit me it but still but yes i mean you're gonna have to apologize at work uh for that and quite honestly here's the reality of this you don't know for sure here this is where for new people listening mixing i know this wasn't a design mixer between trying to mix your swinging life and your vanilla life but you know what you have to be careful that you really do because some of the shit that we do again obviously hate new people consent okay so she has jim's wife has some other issues they need to talk about being hammered and consent okay those are those are two big ones but i get new and i get over zelson and get all that stuff but that kind of that kind of stuff you can't you just you just can't you can't you can't do that kind of shit you just can't you have to fucking but again you're gonna have to address it uh because you know what jim thanks to your wife there may not be any more company parties i mean if this is this look every rule that's ever been put into a fucking employee handbook if they're employee handbook says, and you're not allowed to fuck toasters at work. The reason that's in there is because at some point in time, somebody was fucking a toaster at work. Okay, you have to understand that. Yeah, but the wife is an employee. No, but you look, when you're at that level, you're supposed to be somewhat accountable. And if you can't control your spouse, I mean, it could have very easily have been tables turn. But they will say, OK, people know more. You know, that's when you start getting drink tickets, no max and all that kind of crap. So, yeah, I mean, plus for the boss. You talk about a potential situation we live in a me too world uh where stuff goes on all the time and you know what here's the thing uh and he's getting groped by an employee's spouse that's a fucking real serious problem or or certainly can be in a big hurry so yeah this is something that again don't mix it and and you've got to watch the booze intake you just i can't stress how much if you notice again this theme liquor okay that tends to be this constant constant uh thing so yeah in terms of jim and his wife's and i'm not gonna keep calling her a bitch although that's funny that's really, in terms of Jim and his wife, and I'm not going to keep calling her a bitch, although that's funny. That's really funny. In terms of you guys' relationship, now, I don't know because we didn't discuss this, him and I, when I was reaching out to him. But my gut tells me there might be some other issues in that relationship. that maybe you might not be quite ready to fucking swing just a little bit yeah i mean this is this should be used as a huge red flag don't let and don't let the situation of when my wife broke my boss just go well it could happen to anybody no it couldn So you might want to keep that in mind. You might want to do some other checking and figuring out what, you know, what's going on just a little bit. Just a little bit. I hope that helps, Jim. And I hope, Jim, I hope you and Bitch can get back together again and spend many years of bliss. And I'll definitely let you know the next time we're having a New Year's Eve party because I'd like the ball to drop like that. I was so excited for that one. I can't even wait. How are we doing on time? Because I've got to know on this one. You've got 10 minutes. A little under to do an ending. Real quick one. Okay. We got a ton of these. Okay but because a lot of people had some shit fucked up this uh this comes to us from this comes from boston massachusetts i didn't get to do a follow up with them because they they just it was from where it was from they did all the techie stuff so i couldn't find their you know follow trace and whatever anyways uh husband and wife they went their company has a holiday party it's between christmas and new year's every year a holiday We'll be right back. and whatever anyways uh husband and wife they went to their company has a holiday party it's between christmas and new year's every year a holiday party there's another couple there that they had always had thoughts that they were also swingers okay okay so the couple that that wrote us this have been swingers they put we've been swingers for about a year now and we're pretty sure that this other couple that work was swingers also excellent okay purposely made sure that they could be at the same table with them and hung out with them and that would open itself up to conversation and guess what there was drinking i'll be damned uh anyways so there was drinking and everything was going along great and it comes out that, yes, the other couple is also swingers. They're newer in the lifestyle. Okay. So they were all excited, and as they were sitting there talking, they were going to take the party and move it somewhere a little more private. Excellent choice. So I'm reading this going, where's the issue with this? And then somebody pulled the call.
Speaker5: And then somebody thought they were talking about how hot sex in public and possibly getting caught is.
Speaker1: Okay. And so the wife of one and the husband of the other one went to snuck into a bathroom off the ballroom, okay? And the other couple snuck into a different bathroom and where they were giving each other blowjobs, you know, doing oral sex, except for the fact that one couple did get caught. The problem was they got caught by the human resource department manager that walked in and caught him so uh as it as as it turns out the couple that got caught are it's the uh one husband and one wife that work together so the two people that are the employees of the company were the ones that got caught
Speaker3: I'm going to go ahead. one husband and one wife that worked together so the two people that are the employees of the
Speaker1: company were the ones that got caught at which point in time they were escorted by security out of the party and about the same time the other couple was coming out of the other bathroom. So they were all escorted out of the party by security. And they apparently have a long break. But they've been told that both the two people that work there have meetings scheduled with HR when they get back. They have like a long break afterwards. So I don't know what they do up there. But anyways, and they're scared. How should we handle this?
Speaker2: Quit sucking cock in the bathroom i'm just i'm just saying uh yeah by the way the end part of that was too they did go ahead and go somewhere else and fucking have a good time but now after the fact now that everybody's concerned about their jobs a little bit for those of you that are just listening to the podcast if you could see the look on amanda's face just like what the fuck and i'm just sitting there i okay i get it it's hot it's kinky oh my god pull your fucking head go to a different bar go to a bar or something and do it hey you know what i'm lucky i work in the car business they don't give a don't. No, they don't. But if I were to get caught by human resources, even though she doesn't believe that anybody should have naked pictures on their phone,
Speaker3: whatever,
Speaker2: I would blatantly go, we're swingers.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker2: Do you want to call our spouses in? They'll tell you the same thing.
Speaker1: They're in the other bathroom sucking off each other too. But to be dragged out of a party just because of that. Yeah. Were you on premises? At work? No's tickable offense that's not only just public nudity that's a lewd act so i mean okay and the thing is is they didn't say was this like a family christmas party was it you know no that part was never said it's true here's the thing i get the kink factor but you're exactly right why not go to a bar not right at the party and do that right i mean because because now here's the thing so they haven't met with their hr department at according to time to do this because I don't think they go back to work. In fact, I don't think they go back to work until Monday. It was that time they get so many weeks off at the end of the year. So they don't know. They're going to start 2020 without a job. That could be. They don't know. Now, that's an expensive fucking blowjob. Yeah, it is. Okay, an expensive sexcapade. And that's probably not going to look good. This is going on your permanent record, junior. This could be.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: I mean, so I guess the biggest advice when they said what you do is, I don't know, you know, you can't lie. You were caught with a dick in your mouth. I dropped a contact and I thought he was trying to use his penis to find it. I mean, I guess all you can do probably is come clean stop it that's enough i don't know if they got to come at all actually i don't know if that well if we're gonna get thrown out anyways can i at least shoot my load no it's causing the pretty quick so that i mean i guess the thing is is you just have to be honest at this point in time and say yeah we're swingers i mean this is totally you know and and take whatever sort of i was gonna say take your licks but that's probably a bad example take whatever punishment whatever punishment comes down and and learn from it look don't until when shit involves your work you have to remember it's your work. You spend more time at your work than you do at your house. So if it involves your work, think twice. So where are we at? Almost done. All right. Now, see, at my work party, there was another couple that sat at the table with us. Uh-huh. But you used to work there, and you used to work with him. And he knew that we were swingers. And he'd like to fuck you. Him and his wife have talked about maybe doing it, but they haven't done it. And she knows that we're swingers, too. And she knows. No discussion was ever brought up at the work party. No. He has invited us to go out twice to a bar since but we it just hasn't come up and we haven't been able to go and she did tell us what what she likes to drink and do shots and we do know that they both like to get fucking they like to cut loose and have some fun yes so lube and chassis can i see that happen probably i don't work directly with him, so I'm like... Well, that's a little different story. It's a car business. We don't care in that industry.
Speaker2: But I'd also have a discussion with him about how this doesn't go to work.
Speaker1: Yeah, and that discussion would take place before there was insertion of penises.
Speaker2: Before there was massive intoxication.
Speaker1: Yeah, I mean...
Speaker2: Well, there wouldn't be massive intoxication.
Speaker1: Way to plan ahead there. No, but I mean, that's just it. You know, that's the conversation that has to happen ahead of time. So just, kids, keep sending us those stories because we love them. What's more important, your job or extra activities? It depends on how hot they are. What? No, I'm just kidding. It's all in the need. Stop it. Hey, my job, I can fuck whoever I want on the couch, just saying. All right, so with that, we're going to go. Keep sending us your stories. Again, we hope that helps. Guys, again, big shout-out to our sponsors, Sexy Stripper Clothing. Again, www.sexystripperclothing.com. Get your adult play party wear from them. They'll be at Crazy Winter Nights or visit them online. Don't forget to vote for us. Don't forget to go to crazycasba.com and get your crazy truth and crazy casba merch or if you like us go ahead and hit our patreon www.patreon.com backslash crazy casba everything's with a k in our world just so you know kids uh I forget anything of importance oh send us your emails we want to hear we want to hear your topics your questions whatever 2020 keep sending it in to us uh you can send to it crazy k-r-a-z-y dot casbah at gmail.com so that can spell casbah oh yeah k-a-s-b-h crazy k-r-a-z-y dot casbah k-S-B-H at gmail.com. With that being said, it's time for us to go.
Speaker3: Good night.
Speaker1: The only way I know how, the only way we want to, and the only way we ever fucking will. Kasma Style, out.
Speaker2: Bye.