Send us Fan MailThis week we tackle questions from some almost newbie swingers, is this right for them. How do make sure we don t wreck our marriage. We give advice for the newbies but also for the experienced couple to make sure you are still on track. Once you have a 3-sum or 4-sum or more sum you can t make it not have happened. Kole also goes on a rant about the profile pictures. You will die laughing listening to his opinion. If we didn t want you to be successful with your kink, soft swap, full swap or what every we wouldn t say a word.Check out all our shows at: http://www.buzzsprout.com/181336Visit us at: http://www.krazykasbh.comfollow us on twitter @TruthKrazySubscribe to our YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/kasbhSend us an email at [email protected] Support the show
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole, and I'm here with the lovely but somewhat sloth like miss amanda hey we are here in season three to ejaculate new word our knowledge upon all of our unsuspecting listeners out there quit yawning during the show and uh we're ready to oh my lord we're ready to go can you tell uh this season three. It's this room. Yeah, it's the ambiance. Oh, this is season. Yeah, don't set the kangaroo on fire. That would be totally politically incorrect right now. So this this is where was that? Oh, yeah. This is season three, episode number 86 86 I don't know I think okay and and we're well rehearsed and ready to go for the show and away and away we go but first before we begin let's take a quick moment shall we all of us bow our heads and listen to the sponsor www.sexystripperclothing.com. Quality, exotic, rave, festival, pole dancing clothing, specializing in sexy stripper clothing, footwear, dresses, lingerie, and much, much more. So many items for your next adult party. Hey, there's one of those coming up. You can visit them at www.sexystripperclothing.com. Don't forget also come see them when you are at crazy winter nights they will be there as one of our vendors we're super excited to for them to come in it's going to be a great a great time while i've got you on while you're still listening uh before we bore you to death later uh don't forget we are trying to kick ass and take names and show all the experienced big name fucktards out there uh the little crazy truth and cas was here to stay so help us win the uh some asn lifestyle magazine awards if you would we've got four of them one is your ass uh but you need to go to www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote now this is important we important. We're in the homestretch of this. So we really need your help. We are in for the sexiest media with the crazy truth. That would be this podcast that you're listening to here now. As well as we are in for best party theme, crazy winter nights. And we're also in for newcomer of the year, which is our crazy CASBA organization. Please vote us. Let's send a message to the rest of the world. Fuck y'all. We're here to stay. And there's a picture of my ass that's up for best booty pic. This is how come we're so popular. We're like the fucking stoner kids in school running for class office. That's really what we are. You were a class officer. I was. I was class president. Well, so was I. I was class president. Do you know what I was? What were you? Most talented. You know what? You were also in the band and dated a football player. Now that title makes way more sense. You could blow on wood. It wasn't for oral. What do you do with the reading? You don't blow on it you don't lick it what do you do with the wooden reed you just put your lips on it and how's that work well you have to wet it with your tongue first then you stick your mouth on it and then she wins an award weird uh so talented who knew it was gonna be that so anyway, so now, of course, now we're just, we went, we left our goody two-shoes roots of high school and became, yeah, pervs. So, and here we are. Speak for yourself. I'm innocent. Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah. Oh, by the way, also, if you'd like to get dirty pictures and text messages from Miss Innocent Miss Amanda, you can actually go to our Patreon and be a subscriber. That would be at www.patreon.com backslash crazy casbah. And that's one of the options that you can get a special once a week, a special picture just for you and special text messages just for you from Miss Amanda. So if you would like some, I'm sure there'll be Bible quotes is what will be coming out of those. Just saying, just ask all of Europe. Anyways, so let's keep moving, shall we? So I have my newest hi from another person in the UK. I think it's a girl, though. Well, you know what? If you're going to go over there, you might as well make the trip worthwhile.
Speaker2:
That's a big trip of it.
Speaker1:
There's going to be a little Miss Muppet over here who's going to have her curds in her
Speaker2:
way. Anyways.
Speaker3:
I'm going to sit on what the hell you're talking about.
Speaker1:
I hope you come back.
Speaker2:
Do you?
Speaker3:
Do you, really? You think you'd miss me?
Speaker1:
Well, it depends. I mean, some days, no. Some days I'd be like, fuck yeah. But most of the time, yeah. Really? You can be kind of mean to me sometimes. She hurts me. Send help. What? I would miss you. I would miss you a ton if you were across the pond. But I would call all kinds of weird hours just to fuck with you when you're trying to fuck your dude over there. anyways just saying well i know what time he goes to bed i know what time he wakes up because he texts me yeah but see good morning but but see here's the thing you need to add him to the page like right now i don't know if he's even on facebook he's getting ready for work what do they call facebook over there because it's only me well i'm just saying though but i would i know that but i would purposely knowing what time he gets home and knowing what time he goes to to work i would call it weird times because those would be the times you'd be trying to fuck and i would be like hey you know what so it's 7 30 so it's actually like 1 30 there casbah the international pleasure organization it's what One moment, please. Oh, Jesus. So she can stop and text him right now. Hey, baby. He gets a good morning. I'll bet he does. Then he gets a howless work when I wake up. This is what our world is actually really like. See? We're an international organization. We aim to please. Okay. Well, while you're a Texan lover boy in the UK.
Speaker2:
Whatever.
Speaker1:
Why he has his toast and crumpets for breakfast or whatever they have over there.
Speaker3:
Yeah, they have like beans on toast, which is absolutely.
Speaker2:
Fucking good.
Speaker3:
Not like I don't like them, but together in the morning.
Speaker1:
I'm willing to try anything for a free trip to Europe. Throwing that out there to our European listeners.
Speaker3:
Okay, this is true.
Speaker1:
Just saying. Okay, so I do have actually some questions. I got all kinds of stuff to cover tonight no boy yeah all right fuck yeah uh so i'm thinking should we do which question do you want to do first to do let's do this question first okay so this question comes to us from a brand new listener yay yay and they like us a brand new listener they've been listening to us about a month and a half two months you okay there yeah i typed hood morning instead of good morning oh lord anyways and you want you can send them a picture while you're recording i'm sure you'd like to see a picture of you with your husband. Probably not. I haven't sent him one. Well, you fucking. Anyways, so they've just started listening. They are at the stage of swinging. They are not even dipping. They haven't even dipped a toe in yet. The toe is hovering above the water. Okay. Okay. So their question that came came into us is i've been drinking uh we are a brand new couple how do we know if the lifestyle will be a good thing or a bad thing for our marriage so i reached out to him because anytime somebody says they're new there's a lot of different things when you're talking about new right i am so sorry that was sort of dr horrible. Dr. Pepper, it's their fault. Asshole. Don't worry about bleeping it out. It's fine. Anyways, so when I found out they have been considering the lifestyle, they've been seriously considering it for about six to eight weeks. Okay. Okay. So then now here's the other part of it. The idea was it came, it was both their idea. It was a a mutual thing it wasn't just one person's or the other you know like trying to convince the other side to become a swinger they were sitting there it was after apparently after sex and something kind of came up and they both kind of same time said would you ever consider so their challenge though is because they're brand new the only fear that they have they've been married uh 14 15 years have a couple of kids they're younger they're younger than we are obviously but uh so they're like mid or early 30s i believe yeah it's like mid 30s anyways the concern is is that would it they don't want to become they've heard the horror stories which everybody has they don't want it to become a victim of the lifestyle basically so and i thought that was interesting because obviously well first and foremost we all know there's no way 100 for sure to tell whether or not the lifestyle is going to be a good thing or a bad thing right so the first part of it is obviously why and that's why asking why are you looking at it why why are you looking to get in a lifestyle because we've talked about this on the show a million times the reason you're looking to get into the lifestyle is a huge determining factor of what kind of success rate you will or will not have, right? And again, their whole thing is there. It's not to try to fix a marriage. It's just they think it sounds fun. They think it sounds kind of hot. You know, it's the typical couple they've watched porn and that's kind of hot. And they finally found the courage to maybe voice that a little bit. They travel a lot. Their schedules are a little bit hectic. So I think that's part of it too, how to spice it up a little bit they travel a lot their schedules are a little bit hectic so i think that's part of it too how to spice it up a little bit along those same lines so the next question though that i asked them was and and this is a question okay kids get out your electronic device or your pen and paper if you're old school like i am get it get out your writing utensils your handy dandy notebook what was that off of oh my god we'll have a song in a bit anyways uh get that out and because write this down this is huge this is huge wisdom coming here okay and what you need to do is you need to go on a scale first of of all, on a scale of one to ten, one being the worst, ten being the best. If you are married or in a serious relationship, you each need to do this separately. You each need to rate what you think your level of communication as a couple is. Because this is going to tell you a ton right off the bat. Yeah, but there's a lot of people that think that they have great communication and they don't and that's okay that's okay but it will still granted it's still going to plant the seed a little bit and let's face it if you've been that long term of a relationship and your answer is six and my answer is ten you're probably going and me, well, what about all these times you don't listen? What the fuck? You know, I mean, you're going to you're going to go, wait a minute. What now? One of us is going to say, no, that's not right. But if your answers are probably going to be relatively close or should be should be. OK, so number one, when you ask that question question if your answers are miles to fucking part right off the bat put the brakes on you're not ready for the lifestyle then you need to talk more about well because that's the first thing your level of communication needs to be on the same page if the very first question you ask you say a one and i say a 10 we have a problem here we are not communicating and you will not be the lifestyle will be a disaster for you then it comes into a heart hot conversation of why did you put a one what do you think we don't communicate on exactly so then you can start then you can start really looking at are you really getting the lifestyle to like we did for fun or are you getting a lifestyle because there's another problem okay so that's the first thing you need to do and you know what here's the deal i recommend you do that even as experienced swingers you don't have to be you don't have to be new you know we talk about doing like state of the unions you know check up on your relationship thing and you should you should be constantly checking your relationship it's a relationship is like a fucking car right you don't just take it in when it's broken you still do routine maintenance and part of that is doing a diagnosis of your relationship so i really right now i challenge every single one of you listening do do that. Do it tonight. Sit down and see where you fall. You might be fucking surprised. And even if you're experienced swingers, you might be able to, you know, what do they say the best way to prevent a disease for health? Catch it early. You might be able to catch what could be a potential problem. Could I say more P's? Potential problem before it turns into something major. So that's the first thing. Okay. Everybody got that down? We shouldn't do the Blue's Clues song right now. Oh, my God. My handy dandy notebook. And the paw prints all over. Okay. Back to the seriousness of the show. We're about serious. Oh, by the way, for those of you who don't know, because you've been hiding under some sort of scary, scary distant rock, we record this live in front of our secret, secret Facebook group. Don't tell the others. Crazy Casbah, which if you'd like to be a part of, let us know and we'll get you added right away. So we will take comments. So feel free, as some of you guys, you can see comments because I can't. So as you can see some of these, if there's comments that should be interjected, jump in. Right. Okay, I'm just checking. I'm making sure you're awake. Do I need to pinch you? For those listening at home. So help me. I may kick you in the nuts next time you start doing something. No, you won't. You'll like my nuts. Anyways, okay. So, it keeps you awake. Like I said, good thing it's padded. Yeah, no shit. Same way I feel about my gut. You can't flick my nipples. That hurts so bad. Don't go back to that. That was a sad incident. It was a fetish thing that went south. It is not a fetish thing. Okay. All right. So, let's go on. Now, the other piece of advice I'm going to give, again, don't put away your handy-dandy notebooks yet. Because here's the next thing that I recommend that a new couple that's toe-dangling, or even ones that have already dipped their toes just a little bit, plunk, plunk, that'd be like just a tip, plunk, plunk. Maybe there's a little bit of dick licking at somebody else or making out or whatever it can be they could have happened upon a threesome right well i mean it could have just been they watched live sex with somebody else for the first time because that can be very fucking hot yeah it can be but here's the next thing that i would strongly recommend to do and again the key with this the key with these things okay see we're not just spewing our opinion we're actually giving you practical shit you can do to actually make this shit better so the next thing that i would say you do is again you have to do this separately to begin with okay no sharing answers right you need to take and grab a piece of paper yes a piece of paper write it down it still fucking works assholes a piece of paper and you need to write your top 10 concerns about swinging about the lifestyle just general concerns top 10 concerns about what it will do to your relationship and top 10 things that you think it value that it will add do you think some of this is overthinking though no not when you're new well it can be because a lot of people don't even we didn't do any of it we also thought that the first time we went to a meet and greet it was probably going to turn into an orgy and well i mean some of it look i know that a lot of people now are into the the thinking thing we didn didn't start SoftSwap. No. Not everybody was like, okay, we're ready. We're going to go for it. We don't know if we're ready for this. We're going to fucking do it, and we're going to fuck somebody else and go. Most people don't do that. I mean, I think some do, but I think that if maybe we would have done this now, you know, this is like what we used to do kids say as i do or do as i say not as i did some of this could be a good idea to me look some people know they go you know what i'm in it let's try it so maybe you don't need to take the same steps but when if you're a couple that are sitting out here and you're talking about it for weeks upon weeks upon weeks what that says to me is somebody who's done sales all my life is that there's a hidden there's something scratching at the back of your brain like a little alien trying to get out and that fucker is going to keep scratching until it gets out but if you try to take and go stick your dick in somebody else's pussy or have somebody else's dick in your pussy or a pussy in your pussy or a dick in a dick, whatever you're whatever you wanted to go try and do before that little alien gets that question answered. Then your head is just going to go and explode. And at that point in time here's the deal once your genitals i can't even say right once you're fucking naked in front of another couple or another another person you can't put that genie back in the bottle you know what i mean it's it's kind of like it's like when you're sitting in a meeting okay picture, picture this if you go. You're sitting in a meeting with your boss, right? And you're getting pissed off. And you're getting pissed off. The boss is driving you nuts, driving you nuts. And that idiot that asks all the stupid questions, they'll go, blah. And the one guy that always sucks cock, they'll go, blah. And you're about to just lose your shit. And all of a sudden, you just go, holy fucking shit, you're all a bunch of fucking morons. And the room goes deathly silent, silent. There's no coming back from that. You cannot take that back. Okay. So it's the same thing with sex. Once you just have a threesome, once you just make out with somebody else once you just suck a random cock eat a random pussy get randomly fucked there's no way to go back from that so if you're somebody that you really need if you've got that little scratch going if you're not like you know what fuck yeah let's do it some people will be like hey you know what let's jump out of a plane fuck yeah let's go jump out of a plane well then you don't need to make let's go jump out of a fucking plane but if you need this you sit down if you if you will each take and write those those that list of 30 things down alone and then sit down fucking put the list out there flip them over and start going what you're probably gonna find if you're truly in a lot of relationships you're gonna fucking find some of the concerns are gonna be the same okay great if the concerns the same those are pretty easy fucking things to talk about but the ones that are gonna be a little more of a kick in the nut sack which are the ones that will cause you to be a victim of the lifestyle if you're not careful are the ones where you say i'm afraid of losing intimacy with you and i say i'm afraid of not getting enough strange pussy okay you now obviously obviously that's an extreme kids but but you you see what i mean there okay because all of a sudden there's a topic of conversation we have to have well what is intimacy what's defined as it what do you mean i'm afraid of losing it because i need to know that because that means when i come home fucking pounding my chest because i just fucked a girl that probably ain't gonna fly real well no and if if you know so what it's gonna do is it's going to steer you the other thing it's going to do remember we talked about communication yes okay i'm gonna call it out there because remember this is the crazy truth so this may piss some people off i don't care most people in the world today suck cock at communicating most married couples are about have the ability to communicate like a fucking person talking to a dolphin because one person's going and the other person's going i don't understand i don't understand okay so the generations out there now our generation and below and newer communicate like fucking tards they're idiots they don't know how to communicate this isn't like the greatest generation that most people made it to 50 years of marriage okay so except to deal with it they all have these exactly i mean you do better texting than actually talking and guess what here's the deal you cannot text your way out of pissing your wife or your husband off by who you fuck it doesn't work that way so if you don't have that communication skill set it is going to come really clear and you're going to be able to go oh fuck we need to talk about this some more it doesn't mean that you're never going to get there it's not the whole thing it's not like well you know what we're fucked okay i'm your we're never gonna have sex no it doesn't mean that at all it just means you need to work through some of the the kinks not that type you need to work through some of the the bumps in the road ahead of time well some of like some of ours at the beginning there was the don't call her babe while you're fucking her yep my fault didn't even think about it didn't even know i had done it till you pointed it out to me nope and now it wouldn't faze me but then it did yep um let's see there was the you had the concern of well i feel like i have to fuck hard because fucking slow is our thing no you can fuck slow it's not gonna bother me at all oh well i thought it would okay make an assumption what does that do it makes an ass out of me and you um let's see what there was there was the no he couldn't still be in you done fucking and still in you and talking yeah that's fucked up i mean that because then that was like that was like one of our first hookups i think you were and i'm like he wasn't but that's okay but i didn't i didn't know but right now i'm the same way would it bother me now now no fucking have donuts tea and coffee i don't care um let's see then there's the um it got a little bit more deeper with the huh with the because he was bigger the first single female when i'm like you are being taken for a ride no i'm not yes i was look at it from my standpoint she is manipulating you through and through oh she is you know she'll say this and it will guilt you oh she did that oh yeah and that would and that was a that was a that was not a one-time conversation that Mm-mm, no, that was multiple. That took like probably a good two weeks. That led to actual fighting. Mm-hmm. That led to actual fighting. And now she's a big-ass thorn in your sidewall. No, fucking hell. One more time, I stuck my dick into crazy. Well, but the thing- But that can destroy relationships if you're not- But it did lead to fighting, and I don't mean bad fighting. was it was you were fighting to get me to see and i was i was so hurt and offended that you would think i didn't that you know that i could be taken that way and we had to keep communicating until we got on the same page and that's if that meant a daily fight until you saw it the way i see it or here let me give you some pointers of next time she'll do this and you went she did that and we had the same thing we had it with the camming with a guy remember with the australian guy i'm like quit yeah quit camming with him you're like no it's innocent isn't it quit fucking doing it and that led to a couple days of fights because it was like you're just being jealous no i don't think we actually hooked up with anybody yet but no but but we but what it was was we have very strong communication skills skills that let me say this we work on every single day okay they're not it's not like it's not like magic but sometimes if you're not willing to fight like that that's how you that's one way to become a victim of the lifestyle exactly and what we want to do is look i'm not telling people look you need to sit down have a seven week course and two interventions and fucking all kinds of shit before you can go have fun in the lifestyle i'm just saying you need to make sure you're ready so that when you're sitting there doing a podcast your wife is texting her boyfriend in london it doesn't piss you off i'm kidding i don't care. I have to get to the point where I say have a good day at work. I do. Absolutely. What did he get you for Christmas? How much did I spend to ship that fucking package over there? Is there anything breakable or perfume or anything like that? I'm like, no. He just smells it. And she goes, well, you can smell the perfume. I said, it's for my sister's special friend. That's i told her that i told her because it just the scarf and teddy bear just smelled of your perfume don't worry it's not a bomb we're just morons anywho so i'm sorry so the the key with it is though i'm just make fun of me when this couple when i went through and i and i talked to this couple a lot i actually ended up being on the phone with them and so they've already heard all this stuff once but they made the decision they were going to go ahead and and do those things like what we talked about i have talked to them since they are still going to continue to talk about the lifestyle and look at some things. But they also found some things that maybe they decided, let's slow down. Let's slow our roll instead of trying to hurry and find somebody to fuck. Let's observe some more stuff first. So it's not that they'll never be ready, but they determined they don't want to jump into it too fast. And again, I know everybody's different. So I'm not saying if you're somebody who wants to just fucking go, let's bang.
Speaker2:
I'm going to show you're somebody who wants to just fucking go let's bang okay that's fine but if you're not don't cheat yourself of having a good lifestyle experience right right by rushing into something because again i can't stress this enough there is no oh I'm sorry about that look at look at watch Dr. Phil look at all the people that have ever had affairs okay and after the affair ended and it was solved and whatever and years and years later there's still a degree of it doesn't just magically go away okay this is the same thing you want this is not like when you tell your parents about the vase you broke or the fact you stole the car one night or had a party 20 years later at christmas and everybody laughs about it at no point in time are you gonna you know is your wife gonna giggle at christmas when you tell the story remember that time we all got drunk and i fucked your friend that that is not gonna be a humorous story now if you know if we're all in on it she may be sitting there and she's gonna go yeah and i'm really glad because i gotta fuck my friend too then it's a different ball game but once once nudity comes out it is how are we doing on time i just fucking fucking you're almost halftime look at me go jesus fucking shit's hot do we have anybody saying anything of value No, they got quiet for a little bit. Did they get tired of listening to me? Eh, probably. Okay.
Speaker1:
Anyways, all right. So let's take a... We're close to halftime or we're at halftime? Close. You're close enough. I'm close enough? Yeah. I don't want to run too short. We ran kind of short on last week's show. I don't want to cheat the listeners of the opportunity that you get all the time to hear me babble. Okay. You are such a Leo. Okay, so we're going to go into halftime. Hey, guess what, kids? This will be the last show that you will hear before Crazy Winter Nights. Okay. So if you have not signed up for Crazy Winter Nights, what in the fuck are you waiting for uh go to www.crazywinternights.com we are so very excited it's close uh we have the speakers we have cooper beckett is headlining uh the the just the events are so often off the hook we cannot wait make sure you're there go to www.crazywinternights.com uh get your tickets today once you get your tickets we'll help you get your hotel room and uh be there you're not going to want to miss this it's so exciting tickets right now are 55 a person for an entire weekend no vanillas 8 000 square foot dungeon adult playrooms leather lace party friday night sls radio is going to be there uh saturday night is the formal with the caswell awards uh we're going to have demonstrations miss amanda's getting tied up shackled up and all that fun shackled i don't think so she's getting tied up i'm getting tied up with rope and then suspended you know yeah she's getting suspended uh there's going to know, yeah, she's getting suspended. There's going to be an adult game. And I've never done either one before. There's going to be an adult game room going on, a huge vendor fair. Man, I'm telling you what, there is something for everybody. Don't miss this opportunity. Life is too short. Don't miss it. Because what if you're dead tomorrow? You don't want to miss the greatest party on earth. So, again,zywaternights.com sign up today what am i reading i could be a complete smart ass and say if you're dead tomorrow you still wouldn't make it to crazy when's your plane leave again uh you keep saying that if you bought me plane tickets and i'll go no it's he just sent you a heart message you might want to give him his good morning kiss there. No, it's not my job to fucking get. Look, how does that work? I am not going to pay for the plane tickets for you to go fuck your boyfriend in England. I was told the first day I would just stay in bed all day. Well, great. Well, you're going to have jet lag, so of course you will. So the thing is, I think that he can pay for his own. I's when it's here i think he can i think he can pay to ship his pussy there i think wow it's does he have a sister do we have he's offered to play pay for a plane ticket and we've said i hope yes is there two involved i was kind of in shock at that point went oh you don't have to do that you're such a dumbass well i should at least pay for half okay which what that equates to is hey go on he works for the airport he gets a discount yeah so you know what's gonna happen the ticket's gonna be half price and i'm gonna be the only one one paying for an airplane ticket Awesome Does he have a sister? Um Does he have a female friend? Does he have someone over there that I could fuck? I have no idea Have you even bothered to ask? Do you really care? I haven't asked Maybe his mother Oh, gross You know what? Give me a little milf gilf G-g-g-gilf action. Well, he's not overly old by any stretch. Only that doesn't surprise me. Does he call you mommy? Does he call you mom? We actually have fans that listen to our show in England, and you know we're fun with you guys. We love you guys over there. We actually just added a couple from... Fuck. Starts with a D. Denmark. Starts with what? Starts with a D. Yeah. So, yeah, anyways. Okay, we're going to move along here. Once he figures out how to... I've been to Denmark. I'm not even going to go there. Not going to go there not gonna we had a layover we left the airport we went back to the airport and flew on have you told have you told him how to listen to our show yet he has the internet no he's listening to ones on youtube because he knows youtube okay yeah great but I said it's on podcast, and he goes, I don't have podcasts.
Speaker3:
Yeah, you do.
Speaker1:
You can pick them. Okay, so let's move along, shall we?
Speaker3:
I'm not going to rag on it.
Speaker1:
You should call him on the telly.
Speaker3:
No, that's phoning. You don't call you phone.
Speaker1:
Yes, but what do you phone on The tele The tele No that's the television Tele is a television Okay That's right I'm trying to learn this shit Okay A jumper Is a shirt Stop You're killing me A jumper Okay Thank God you didn't send me to the store to buy him a jumper. Because I tried to find a giant onesie. Because I wouldn't have known. I'm an idiot. Okay. Shall we move along? This is digressive. Horrible. Yes, you're picking on me. Yeah, I'm going to pick on you. Absolutely, I'm going to. Look, you're the head of chasm international division obviously i haven't heard from the greek guy for a while wonder why well you're gonna have to work on that i think when he realized that i'm really not gonna be submissive to him well he doesn't know what he's missing. Anyways, all right, let's move along. Well, any other countries you'd hope to get to make new friends in, maybe they'll be listening. We have people all over the world. Well, I have a dude from Africa that messages me. Right, okay. Occasionally, not very often. He puts abbreviations. I'm like, what does that mean? We've got several, a A big fan base in Australia We've got a big fan base in Russia
Speaker3:
They have too many bugs and spiders
Speaker1:
Look here's the thing
Speaker2:
There's nothing
Speaker1:
I love people in Australia And I would love to go Except everything there can kill you So I just And I hate fucking spiders And the only pair
Speaker3:
You're not supposed to fuck the spiders
Speaker1:
Well that's good Because all them legs You'll never catch them I hate spiders You're a bitch And the only snake that I like
Speaker2:
Is like
Speaker1:
Snake skin boots Thank you. Fuck the spiders. Well, that's good, because all them legs, you'll never catch them. I hate spiders. You're a bitch. And the only snake that I like is, like, snakeskin boots. So I don't really know that Australia is the country for me to go to. I'd want to hold a koala bear. Yeah. I'd be smuggling a kangaroo out. I don't even care. Just saying. Oh, you and damn kangaroos. Or a dingo. All right here let's go let's go with our next question before we cause an international incident on the air uh okay so i got this one came off what paused what paused i don't know it shows me standing up it's frozen i don't know keep going okay we're gonna keep going anyways all right so uh next, and this was an interesting question, too. All of our questions are good questions. Just saying. This one is, this is from a female. By the way, the other one, I'm not even going to say names. They offered full names, so I'm not going to put full names on the other ones. Don't need to. This one is from Miss Icy Hot. Okay? Okay. All right. I am single and i want to start dating a single guy also in the lifestyle i currently have a play partner uh and the new guy in the lifestyle is wanting me to maybe cut it off with a play partner until they get to know each other a little better.
Speaker2:
And I thought this was an interesting question for a couple of reasons.
Speaker1:
One, I think it's a great question because there are a lot of singles.
Speaker2:
And I mean, okay, dating and lifestyle in general, there's a lot of options.
Speaker1:
I mean, because you do have the poly option, you do have, and the different variations, you have a lot of same-sex dating that can happen that maybe you don't see necessarily just out in the outside world then as well as just regular dating also and it's a challenge and we've seen this from other friends of ours as well the challenge to go from a single to a couple in the lifestyle number one is there anything wrong with that no not at all no not in the least uh there's nothing wrong with dating someone not in the lifestyle if you and you know either if they choose to get in or you choose it out whatever there's that love is love that that happens right so we have different views on this yes we do you go talked. Yeah, we talked a little bit last night. A little bit on the way home. We did. Yeah. So you go first. Why do I have to suffer? Because I always talk. Okay, you do always talk because you're a babble monster. My opinion is it's not wrong for him to ask her. Okay, A, it depends on how much she's hooking up with this friend with benefits okay if she's hooking up like every other day or if it's even weekly for that matter okay it's not in my opinion wrong for him to ask if if she wants a relationship with this other single guy it's not wrong for him to ask her to slow down or step back from this other guy so they can get to know each other okay but if you know if they're only meeting like once a month right for a hookup there's nothing wrong with that and that guy should understand what what if they're friends what if they're they have developed yes, it's a play partner, but they're friends. Who, the new guy that wants her to? No, the play partner and the single female. What if they've developed a friendship? Just a friend, I mean, yes, they play, but just a friendship. If you're just a friendship and, you know, he could ask her to refrain from playing X amount of times or whatever and just maybe once a month until they get to know each other. But she can still talk to him or visit. The new guy has no right to try to dictate any contact. No, it's still establishing trust. Right. Okay, so my get that and that makes sense my my view is though or to play devil's advocate whether i guess more than anything else is the new guys in the lifestyle also you shouldn't be threatened by somebody else you know another another play partner in the lifestyle you should be able to understand that there's a difference there and because of some of our own personal experiences i think that's very easy to lead into where all of a sudden they go okay just take a step back from the play partner and then also it's like well i don't want you to have anything to do with them at all because it was previous and and at that point in time you know obviously that's not to me that's not right or fair to the and again based on our own world experiences i think of the play partner guy that's who i think of somewhat to a degree i go that's fucking fair to him. He didn't do anything wrong. And the single lady is not doing anything wrong either. Nobody is doing anything wrong, but there is still a dynamic there. But the other guy didn't trust the girl to not play with you. Right. Even though. And he's a fucking moron. And that's right. That's how you really feel. Well, but I mean, seriously, because, and granted, our situation was different because you had a vanilla influence in there. He's still a fucking moron. But that's beside the point. But the thing is, is that I think that, I think it would at least be, granted, okay, let's back this up so I can avoid hate mail. Number one, the young lady that's single, you need to do whatever is in your heart. Because, look, when we swing, and as swingers, and when we get in any type of relationship with swinging, with Polly, with friends with benefits. In my opinion, did you hear that, everybody? This is just my opinion. In my opinion, that person, and a very good friend of mine, a friend of ours, actually pointed this out to me when we were going through some stuff of our own.
Speaker2:
Okay.
Speaker1:
That person fills or scratches a certain itch, fills a certain something in you when it's a friend with benefit. Maybe it is purely just sexual, but maybe it's something else. Maybe it's a companionship thing, and that's not a bad thing, okay, especially where one person's single, but they fulfill a niche, a need of some variety there. There's something that they add to your personal makeup that makes you feel better. That's why you continue to do that. And you can have, look, there's a lot of people that have female or male friends or opposite-sex friends that are really, really good friends and maybe don't fuck them, but that fill some sort of need. It doesn't mean they don't love their significant other or anything else. It just, it is what it is. So, you know, what you have to decide is, is the new person going to fulfill those needs? Is this new person... How are you going to know if you don't let them in? Well, and that you're exactly right you have to you have to let them in but by the same token how you slow down cut off eliminate or whatever you want to say this other relationship because it is a form of a relationship okay becomes very important because i can tell you if you take and just go whack and cut it off uh what happens is that's going to bleed like a motherfucker okay and if this other person doesn't fulfill those needs or whatever what ends up happening is you're making it so there's no going back now there's ways to handle that that are appropriate and correct obviously the friends with benefit needs to be understanding because as a friend see there's the key see how this fucking works kids it's not just dude with benefits or bitch with benefits it's friend with benefits so the whole thing is is the friend part of that person should always understand and be a friend. The benefits is secondary. Okay. So in this situation, the friend should, uh, should want a similar thing for you, want you to be happy, want you to, to find everything you want in your life. That's what a friend does. I want you, you're my friend. I want you to have everything you want so they should be willing to take and and kind of adjust accordingly but you the the single that you're also their friend with benefits and that's where it comes in key uh you need to remember that as well because you're not going to purposely go out and try to hurt your friend and if somebody new if somebody new comes in and they want you to completely cut off to completely cut off any type of relationship i don't give two fucks i don't care if it's family if it's friends if it's classmate you knew 50 years ago i don't give two flying fucks if someone else wants to fucking come in and take and dictate who you should be who you can and can't be friends with you need to tell that person to go fuck themselves well but i don't think that's necessarily you don't that could be one option of something that's going on but it doesn't mean necessarily mean that's what's happening right i've seen this with other things that's where i was going with that you know you're right in this case that might not be the case but with other things i've we've seen it before with other things not even involving us we've seen with other things where there's i mean there's communication even with you know especially with the friend with benefits and they should be understanding to know okay so he says it's acceptable to to meet up with you like once a month well and and i because how can you establish a relationship if you're giving this little itch to this guy and not even giving this one? You shouldn't be giving the itch to anybody. Fulfilling the itch. Whatever. With this one guy, how are you giving the new guy the opportunity to fill in? No, and you're very right. And the other thing I guess I would say with that is because where everybody is involved in the lifestyle, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take, and everybody gets meet and and just get to meet each other not to do anything other than just meet i mean that shouldn't be a problem in any way shape or form how am i doing on time you're doing fine because i want to make sure i have time for my rant too i know that almost turned into one didn't it yeah a little bit you have 15 minutes i don't know more like 13 it's a challenge when you're dealing with relationships in life so number one you have to make yourself happy look when this is all said and done in this world uh whether you're going together as a couple or a single or whatever the only people you have to be okay with is yourselves right that's it so you know be fuck what other people think that we've made we've built our company off of that concept I don't know.
Speaker3:
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker1:
I don't know. I don live and be afraid of someone's gonna judge me you know what yeah they're gonna judge it people judge you all the time and you just gotta be willing to go here's the big fuck off and you don't like it suck my dick and move on i mean that's what that's what we do i mean you don't you're like suck my clit no you gotta have the right wording no i'd say suck my dick okay uh so thank you very much for that question hope that helps sorry i got a little rant but now i'm gonna go on to what is truly a big rant there's a man and i have no man just looks over with a fucking total shock and horror on her face. Okay. So by the nature of my job, which my job is CASBA, obviously, and CASBA Inc. And all the stuff we do, Crazy Winter Nights, and our podcasts, and our shows, and our adventures. I spend a lot of time looking at... Tell Jay I said, have a good day. I spend a lot of time looking at tell jay i said have a good day i spend a lot of time i'm just fine i spend a lot of times looking at profiles of people now this one okay here here's here's my fucking thing okay there's two points with this rant number one any of you who have not watched our, seen our YouTube channel or seen us on our whatever. Look, I am no beautiful person. I am no fucking God by any stretch. Okay, I feel like I am. I'm happy with who I am. And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick. But am I a little pudgy? Yeah, I sure fucking am. Am I kind of balding? A little bit. Not bad. Great. Yeah, I hate that guy. A few crows feet. Whatever. I'm no fucking, like, everybody's going to go, oh, God, did you see him walking? No, I'm not dreamy, okay? But I'm also not a fucking moron, okay? So, look, there's two points with this that I have got to stress. Number one, to all of the beautiful people out there, you're truly beautiful. I get it. Wonderful. It is so fucking awesome that you have a job or whatever is in your world that you can make huge bucks, be in a mansion, be on all your vacation trip photos, whatever the case may be. And obviously, the only thing you have to do other than that is go to the gym and get pictures taken. Rock on that, that kicks ass. Okay. But a couple of things. Number one, if every fucking picture you have on your profile, you have to strike a pose to look natural, like a goddamn JC Penance catalog. All the message comes across to the people that are not just so shallowly enamored by absolute basic human instinct is, oh, my God, what a douche. Okay, see, that's what's amazing about this kind of shit, right, is the douche factor. So this little rant is about how to eliminate the douche factor off your fucking profiles. Okay, and this is not just attack on the beautiful people. Okay, but the deal dudes you have a hot bitch your wife is fucking hot the primary picture on your profile should not be you flexing like you're in the fucking arnold schwarzenegger bodybuilding contest okay because you know what my wife can suck dick like a fucking queen fuck like a boss and leave you crying in the corner begging for more, and she's going to look at your picture and go, you ain't got a chance, douchebag. That's how that's going to work, and I want to tell you what, I know that us old people are kind of old and wrinkly and whatever. We will fuck your brains out six ways to Tuesday because we know how to do it, and I know you think you do in your 20s. You don't. You'll figure it out soon enough, okay? That's number one. It's like the duck lips shit from a while back.
Speaker2:
Thank you. it and no i know you think you do in your 20s you don't you'll figure it out soon enough okay that's number one don't it's like the duck lips shit from a while back put your fucking just be a fucking person you know what it's okay to have pictures of you being silly you want to know what's hot and sexy is a young couple a middle-aged couple an old couple with cute pictures where they're fucking around on one of the our websites on one of the sites that we're on we put one of our pictures we put on was the one of you and i where we're going to the store and you're right on the cart it's not sexy at all but we're having a blast and it totally screams who we are as people that's sexy you know what i put a picture on there on one of them remember the time when i was taking the shower and and i popped out and made horns with the shampoo and it was in new years just fucking around you know what but that's who i am yes you'll see pictures of me with straws up my nose i know it's not as sexy as me covering my covering a tiny penis because it's hidden and i'm not all ripped, but you know what? It's who I am.
Speaker1:
It's who we are. We are real. That is what a profile is supposed to be. Okay. That's number one. Ladies, believe it or not, you don't have to strike a pose. You're not fucking Madonna. Quit it. Every single time you walk, you know what? Just get funny pictures. It's okay to have a picture where your hair is fucked up. It's okay to have a picture where you're out doing something, but you're having fun and you don't look dolled up for the evening. That's okay. It's okay to Thank you. okay to have a picture where your hair is fucked up it's okay to have a picture where you're out doing something but you're having fun and you don't look dolled up for the evening that's okay it's okay to have a shirt that doesn't have a tit poking out of it it can still be sexy it can still be hot going to the grocery store is is it sexy or not that's up here in your brain that's a choice you make so make the right fucking one seriously you know have some fun loosen up just a little bit also de-doucherize your fucking wording of your fucking of your of your profiles if you start off your profile with all the shit you won't tolerate and we won't do this and we won't do that and you better be this and you better be that and don't bug us too much and height weight proportion and blah and then you try to end it with we're fun loving people bullshit you're a fucking dick there's a difference look if we want to go find a fucking bitch and a cunt to go fuck we can do that easily that's not appealing now i understand that somebody like us that's going to talk about being freewheeling and fun and drinking and partying and just being us may be just too wild and crazy for you. I understand that, and I get that we're not everybody's cup of tea. And quite honestly, here's the deal. If you can't hang with me because I paint my nails black when we go out and wear sunglasses and we'll get up and sing with the band, you know what? I don't want you hanging with us anyways because that means you won't have fun now if you want to come and laugh and till you are almost in tears because it's so much fun so much fun and somebody that will do anything and leave the charge and go have a blast we may be fatter or heavier or older we're a couple for you and it's not just us it's i'm talking couples all over okay enough about on the on the beautiful people now for the rest of you people jesus christ man okay here's the deal with technology and cameras it's the damnedest fucking thing you can now take a picture and look at that picture immediately you don't have to wait to have it fucking developed three weeks later you don't have to blindly put it on hoping and be just as surprised as everybody else with what it shows up you can you can look at the fucking picture and see it right here right now now look every single one of us have taken a picture at one point time or another trying to be sexy but then we looked at the picture and we realized it didn't look sexy. For the love of fuck, use a mirror and use your fucking eyes. You know what? Not every girl's picture looks hot with her ass in the air. Sometimes if you have the wrong angle, you don't see the slope of the back. It just looks like a big butt. Okay? I'm sorry. You know what? Pick and choose your underwear wisely. I'm going to give you a huge hint and I'm not a fashion guy by any stretch of the imagination, but let me just put it out here for a second. Don't wear a brown pair of thong type thing and take that ass picture because it kind of looks like you've got shit smeared up your ass crack. It's not sexy. Take at the picture you know what i understand that the fucking supermodel that is paid to do nothing but twist her body in some sort of gumby sort of position looks sexy as fuck when it's photoshopped all over the place in a magazine guess what it's okay we're in our 40s you know what it doesn't look the same use a fucking mirror check it the fuck out just for a second you know what i'm gonna post some of the pictures i did as a smart ass you know the picture where the chickens got her leg kicked up kicked back and and hooked her her g-string i did that with my cowboy boots with one of amanda's g-strings just to prove a point it was a thong a thong now here's the thing this is not just for women guys okay back to the bodybuilders for a second if you're ripped like a motherfucker and your profile says you're six eight whatever and can bench press two cars don't have your girlfriend with her tiny little hands covering your junk guess what everybody knows what's up or what's not up if every picture of your body has you turned so conveniently enough there's not a single dick picture anywhere guess what all the other women are gonna think big muscles tiny dick i'm not saying you have to flaunt it but you might want to think that through just a little bit you can have pecs the size of fucking my head but if your dick can't be found in there there might be a problem just saying the rest of us guys listen to your wife about angles think before you put your dick compared to some things don't put your dick to compare a size next to something that's way bigger than your dick that's dumb don't do that okay don't take and put your dick look i know there's different opinions on hair and stuff like that and that's okay but you know what if it looks like you're petting the fur back off of your cock so you can find it like you're pulling the head out of a dog from a dog so you can see it like one of the dogs was all like a sheep dog shave that shit up just saying just a little bit don't take a picture head on seriously no one wants to look down the barrel of a gun and as much as you might think it's cute to get that picture with a little bit of cum dripping off of it, it looks stupid. Quit it. Stop. Stop. Some people don't mind that. You know what? There is nothing sexy about a dick goobed, you can tell you just jacked off and you're sitting with your hand still covered in the cum. It doesn't look like you fucked somebody. It looks like you just jacked off and dribbled yourself. You know what? Think a little bit. What would be something a little bit sexier? If you will do those sorts of things.
Speaker3:
Nancy said don't wear socks.
Speaker1:
Don't wear socks. The thing is, I would rather have people wear socks if it's funny. Just be you. You know what? Here's the deal. A profile doesn't need to have pictures of just your wife guys that's the other thing get in the picture with them and it doesn't have to just be pictures where they're fucking you know what show what you're like as a couple together show some personality because here's the reality of it my time is limited your time is limited i'm not going to go out of my way to meet with somebody that I feel like I'm going to be judged whether or not I meet their fucking standards. Okay. I'm 47 years old. Fuck you. It don't work that way. Okay. And I'm sure as fuck not going to go out of my way to meet somebody that looks like about as much fun as paint drying. Now you got a couple that fun pictures and they look fun and they're laughing and they're having a good time. You know what? I'm interested. And I'll bet I'm not the only one. So there's my rant. And here comes the hate mail. Tell us how you really feel. Well, I just. Okay, I have to pee. And I'm just like, oh my God, don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh. me laugh don't make me laugh don't make me laugh we're not perfect but you know when we first started off on an adult website yes we had one picture of you and the rest of them were me we did but we we sent but it was a picture of we didn't have any face pics no we did there was like one of us fully dressed one of us fully dressed and then one what had my dick pic but all our faces our pictures were our faces were cut off we have since learned and that's it i'm not trying to ram slam anybody i'm trying to help people that really that's all i know that everybody thinks their pictures are the best but you know what what do you want i i mean we could be if you wanted to know how much of a dick I could be, I wouldn't have done that rant because I don't just let people flounder. But instead I'm looking at this going, here's a couple trying to, they want to do something lifestyle. Look, here's some different ideas to maybe whether you're the young super in shape couple rock on or whether you're not, here's some ideas to actually maybe up how many many hits you get look we're like your parents if we didn't love you we wouldn't try to help you we just know fuck they're idiots we wouldn't do but we're now you guys we want maximize it by the way send me workout tips anyways all right hey so there you go that's where we that's where we're in today what a great show this is so much fun alright so again thank you very much want to thank our sponsors really quick www.sexystripperclothing.com again quality exotic rave festival pole dancing clothing they've got clothing footwear dresses lingerie and more make sure you check them out online or at crazy winter nights don't forget to vote for us www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote don't forget to get our merchandise for your great pictures at www.crazykazba.com and finally check out our patreon so you too can get text messages from miss amanda uh at uh www.patreon.com backslash crazy casbah until next time doing it the only way i know how the only way i want to and the only fucking way we ever fucking will casbah style out bye
