Krazy Truth #80 Jizz Etiquette

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I am your host with the most, I am Cole, and I and i'm here with the lovely lovely somewhat so tired from being road warrior miss amanda hey and we are here to titillate exasperate frustrate because we're fucking great for the show i'm getting for the show turning into an in excess song kind of they might sue us hopefully uh no i'm i'm giddy for this this show i'm this show is gonna be a good one got a good burp out got that done that's awesome that was come bubbles okay so by the way this is season two episode 80 yay episode 80 and i'm gonna tell you right now what the name of this episode is because this one's just awesome you'll see from there as we go this episode is entitled entitled or titled titled jizz etiquette so you guys are going to love this show's all about jizz but first before we get going we want to welcome our brand new uh sponsor one of our brand new sponsors uh sexy stripper clothing That's right, www.SexyStripperClothing.com. Quality, exotic, clothes, quality. They're going to love this. Quality clothes, great for exotic, raves, festivals, pole dancing clothing, specializing in sexy stripper clothing, footwear, dresses, lingerie, and much, much more. Great for adult-themed costumes. So many items for your next adult party. Visit them today at www.sexystripperclothing.com. And by the way, you will be able to find them live and in person at Crazy Winter Nights. I could actually make myself 5'6". You actually can make yourself a... And just as an added plug is right now, there's an excellent chance that Miss Amanda's formal gown will be provided to us by our sponsor, SexyStripperClothing.com, and also the sexy things she's going to wear at the ASN Awards the following Friday. So there you go. Okay. I got to lose weight. Oh, shit. Maybe tan a little, so not so pale little so yeah we're looking at colors that will fit with the uh with the uh pasty skin that we both have pasty skin uh-huh yep yep okay so uh we got that said so great cool sweet awesome so uh let's jump right into the show because I'm so fucking giddy for this. It's not even funny. Rock on. Okay. So this last week on Monday, Monday or Tuesday, I got a question from Steven, and I've got to tell you, look, we get literally hundreds of questions every week, and they're all very, very good. And we slowly try to get to them. We try to go through them, so we've kind of answered whatever the case may be uh but this one this one made me stop it caused me to have pause pause and laugh my fucking ass off for one but uh it because we've never dealt with this question before and i think it's an awesome awesome question okay okay so i do wanted to know right after oh my god i've got to read this to you i do to know right now, we've got to give credit where credit's due. The title of this episode being Jizz Etiquette, that's credit to Stephen because that's in this letter. So Stephen wrote to us, and a little bit of background. I'll kind of do the background to this a little bit different. Him and his wife have been in – they have dabbled in the lifestyle, okay, literally for about the last 12 years. So they've played here and there and off and on. They're not full-time into it. They've had some threesomes. They've had some experiences. It's been recently that they are really going to earn the title of swinger, so speak okay uh they have just started listening to our podcast uh which is awesome so now you know they're extra cool because they're listening to our show and they want to talk to you about this specific situation the situation is as follows so they were at an adult campground camping swinger event okay and there was another couple that they had met and that couple had a sibian back in their tent okay and they had been talking and hanging out and and great so what happened then was they went back to the tent and the other husband had kept control of the sibian and and there was no initial, there was no plan of any sex. It was just going to be, hey, we have this. Have you ever seen this done? Would your wife like to try it? So the other guy gets on first and starts riding it. And, of course, it's successful. Then the wife gets on it and rides it and it's successful so there's there's no talk of anything there was never anything discussed about being sex okay and then the wife's the other wife's back on the sibian and he's he's standing there and she's encouraging him to get his dick out so she starts sucking his dick while she's riding the sibian okay okay so and and. So, and of course, at this point in time, that's fucking awesome. The thing was, what started to happen, though, she's really getting the Sibian, and she's giving a great blow job, and guess what? He's getting ready to blow his load. Okay. So the thing was, is he put it, and this is where the line comes from, he goes, at that moment in time, I was ready to come come but i didn't know what to do because we hadn't talked about it so i didn't know what what was the proper jizz etiquette of what to do with it and he's like you know this might be a silly question number one that is not a silly question no that is a great a great question what he did so i'm gonna we're gonna kind of back door our way into this yeah back door uh is that he did not he did not jizz he he pulled it pull out and didn't come okay so him and his and and that was fun and then him and his wife later were talking about it and she goes well why didn't you just go ahead and come and he's like because i didn't know what proper jizz etiquette jizz etiquette was and so then she was nice and sucked him off and so i could come so the question is what is number one as i look at it is jizz etiquette important and the correct answer is definitely fuck yeah it is okay i i think people, and this is a challenge not just for new people. This is experienced people as well. Look, we know people that, we know girls that fucking, they don't want to waste a drop. No. They love to, whether it be that they love, come, or they love, they're in the mood and they're caught in the whole overall process but when they suck a dick they want you know they get that's part of the experience for them is getting off fucking getting every little gobble of every little gobble of goo see why i'm excited for this okay then we know we know people that uh to swallow is uh like a to even do even be well to swallow is is like that's a it's deeper that's something that's only between them and their spouse right we know some people that they think it's gross as fuck they don't want it in their mouth at all and then we know some people we know some people that literally looking at at jizz makes them throw up i mean we we have people that literally look at they don't you know even if it really isn't yeah even if it's something just look like jizz but it's not jizz it actually it actually uh it it just grosses them out. So I want to start. Obviously, as Shelly on our... For those of you who don't know, we obviously record live in front of our secret, secret Facebook page. Crazy Casper, which you can join. Shelly puts, if it wasn't discussed, he can't assume anything. He did the right thing.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Does that how you feel, too?
Speaker3: As a woman, because I'm a straight guy, I've never had that problem. Well, I've been at a camp out. Yes, you have. Bonfire. Totally hammered. Yes, you were. And I was kind of giving guys blowjobs. Yes, you were. Around the trampoline. And one guy did come in my mouth. And even though I was train was train wrecked i was spitting and normally you don't mind it when you're drunk right but i didn't know who that was well i knew who he was but i you didn't know it was coming i i didn't know and then when it shocked me I'm like spitting and spitting and spitting. And I went over to you and I was furious.
Speaker2: Yes, you were.
Speaker1: You were fucking, you were raging ass pest.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Here's the thing with it. I know people that, like, it is a hard and fast rule. You come in my mouth, I will bite your dick off.
Speaker2: Oof.
Speaker1: There are people that absolutely, look, even you and I, you don't, sometimes you'll swallow, sometimes you won't. Thank you. there are people that absolutely look even you and i you don't sometimes you'll swallow sometimes you won't it's usually a birthday present well i mean yeah usually usually it is as a general we usually don't go all the way to the point of where i'm coming in your mouth sometimes but most of them you know we've switched positions i'm i'm probing other places so So the thing is is that it is important to know where to put shit ahead of time because like i know that some women love it on their face all over them they love to be bathed in in jizz but like you don't no and the one thing the guy could have done in the heat of the moment since it it wasn't discussed, is announce that you're about to come. Yes. Because then she would have stopped and said, not in my mouth. Right. Or she would have grabbed your ass and kept... Right. Or the husband would have said, no, that's off limits. Right. Or, oh, she loves that. Right. Right. There could have been... And one of the things I asked you, I said, was there any discussion afterwards about like hey didn't you come or you know something like that and he said there wasn't and they would love to hook up with this couple again it wasn't so i we don't know necessarily how experienced the other couple was but i think it's easy for those that are experiencing the lifestyle to forget some people aren't and and or you get comfortable playing with with certain people and they know the rules but anytime you're somebody new you need to you need to let them know yes absolutely he did the right thing if he wasn't going to ask okay hey i'm about to come he did the exact right thing don't don't just assume you know like you really don't care if somebody's if somebody's doing that and they want to come on your tits you could really give two shits it doesn't buy but come on your face i don't even get to do that at birthdays i mean that's like i mean that will that will absolutely take and kill and ruin everything it takes one time in the eye and you'll never want to do it swimmers everywhere swimmers well and that and that's just it and a lot of people at least me a lot of people have different feelings about that and it's like Thank you. and you'll never want to do it swimmers everywhere swimmers well and that and that's just it and a lot of people at least me a lot of people have different feelings about that and it's like you know as we as steve and i talked via email back and forth you know for future things yeah obviously communication but that it was something that was totally caught off guard in the heat of the moment in the heat of the moment and that and that can happen and that's one of the big things is that look look, all of a sudden, you know, the intention was the girls were going to get off. There was no intention. And the other husband never got undressed, whatever. I mean, he had no problem with what was going on, but there was no intention of it. So there was no reason to discuss it ahead of time. But that's a really, that becomes a really big thing. There are people that, let's face it, even if don't yeah they don't they don't want you to just jizz anywhere on them i mean it's like it can totally ruin stuff and a lot of times people won't say anything but look my big thing is shout out to every woman out here because obviously it doesn't matter what your husband likes let me put this out there right now to every i'm not gonna say woman every person that uh likes to suck dick i'm gonna go that way every person that likes to suck dick it is 110 your choice where the jizz does or does not go okay so and the thing is don't ever be afraid don't take a load fuck I'm 13 again don't take a load somewhere you don't want it right if it's not okay on your face don't if it's not okay in your mouth don't if it's not okay on you don't you know or if it is something that is a couple you decide hey that's something strictly off limit whatever whatever but still it's ultimately it's your choice if you're the one sucking the dick it's your choice where or if jizz or cum gets to be anywhere on you because if he would have said it and she would have said no his wife could have gone over and finished him off yeah on the spot or a lot of times maybe she's not gonna say shit maybe she's just just going to grab his ass and fucking fucking shove that even further down or further down her throat could be uh okay so sheila but i spent so much shelly sheila i spent so much time uh beating beating my face to flawless perfection a face shot is never an option i would be interested if it had glitter i would be i would be yeah i would be interested to see as on the secret pages this is our own ladies or or guys if you're into it tell us scroll through just just put the answer of is it okay to come and have somebody come in your mouth?
Speaker2: I just want to get an opinion.
Speaker1: Or where is the appropriate spot to come?
Speaker2: Just so we can scroll through and we can see and watch that as it goes up. This is our non-scientific poll.
Speaker1: Non-scientific poll. On this thing. The reality of it is that it becomes a sticky subject. God, I've been waiting to use these all fucking weeks. Have you been thinking about this all week long? I have not laughed at it because here's the thing. This is part of swinging that people don't talk about. Okay, once again, I'm going to say this. I've said it before and I don't care because I'm going to keep saying it. If you just are talking about your conquest, this kind of shit doesn't come up. Okay, but the real this is real swinging okay this is the shit that really happens because you know what every guy has been there you didn't have the discussion you're fucking somebody either fucking them or or getting a blowjob or whatever and at some point time hopefully you're gonna shoot shoot your load but in the pre-talking stages it was tongues down throat groping having fun fucking the excitement everybody's hard let's go there was never any thought of hold on one minute wait everybody stop before we go any further where may i take and fucking blast you with my cum shot that never comes up for discussion you'll find that experience people will say hey here's the deal don't you know don't come in my mouth or don't don't come on my face did we one of our very first times the first threesome he said is he really all he really wanted to do is get a blowjob off you and he wanted to come in your mouth and he, was it okay to come in your mouth? How come I don't remember that? Because it was unmemorable and he was a tool. But that was beside the point. But he, because it wasn't what you dreamed your first threesome was going to be like. But you let him. Wow. What's that tell you, kids? Good God I did yeah yeah he asked you is it okay with coming he asked you like three times the one thing this fucktard did right in the whole experience was that he did ask at least three times to make sure it was alright before he shot his load in your mouth. Mm-hmm. Wow. We'll draw pictures later. Okay, so, yeah, I have been thinking about this all weekend because it's been funny as hell. So, like, Nancy on her secret page, she goes, I don't want to see it at all. Well, she's the one that gets sick of it. We had, you know, Spunk Lube. Our friends at Spunk Lube, it has lube that looks like spunk. Hence the title. And I had some of that on my hand one time. I was chasing Nancy around. And she's like, oh, my God. And she went in about threw up. But everybody's a little bit different with that. That kind of leads to the other part of it. Okay, so the situation with Stephen was we're talking about a blowjob. But let's talk about fucking coming in general okay first we're going to stick with the oral topic we're going to stick with oral because we're going to stick with oral but we're going to talk about with women because here's the big thing in the lifestyle right everybody wants oh do you squirt right people love a squirt and here's the deal it's fun don't get me wrong I'm all in I have no problem with that but there again communication is fucking key
Speaker2: yeah
Speaker1: because we have the first hand
Speaker3: personal
Speaker1: poor miss Amanda first hand personal knowledge that
Speaker2: okay
Speaker1: you are a boss at eating pussy we have documentation she's won awards
Speaker2: kids
Speaker1: I'll see you next time. Amanda firsthand personal knowledge that, okay, you are a boss at eating pussy. We have documentation. She's won awards, kids. It was a state fair. There's been a couple I haven't gotten off. But very fucking few. Very few. You're able to suck dick like a boss and you can eat pussy like a boss. She has very talent. Gemini's known for oral. That's what she does. But there was one gal. You got her off and you got her off really good and she blasted she squirted in my face in your face and she did not and she was like oh my god i'm so sorry because that doesn't usually happen and and but you're sitting there as as you picture the scene everybody for just a moment her boyfriend is is sitting there watching i'm watching there is moan lick moan lick explosion yep sounded like an ocean wave and amanda's hands come out to the side of her and like a little baby in the wind starts to shake just like oh and she pulls back I don't know. yep, sounded like an ocean wave. And Amanda's hands come out to the side of her and like a little baby in the wind starts to shake, just like, aww. And she pulls back and she can't even talk. And literally, it looks like someone... No, I said you squirted. Yeah, she goes, you squirted. But her face, you gotta... This is the mental picture you have to have. Okay, because she always... Her makeup is always nice and her hair is nice and everything. She looks like someone just took a garden hose and squirted her right in the face with it her hair is dripping her face is dripping and it you know it's women jizz all over and she's just like and and the gal of course all i can do yeah yeah she's going oh i'm so so sorry. That doesn't usually happen. I'm laughing hysterically, and her boyfriend is just sitting there like, sweet mother of Christ, the bedspread is fucking host. But just, man, she's still just standing there. We're at somebody else's house, and finally she goes to her boyfriend, slaps her boyfriend, and she's like, go get her a towel, goddammit. So he runs to get a towel to get a towel. Now, you've been with other people that squirt. I learned from that to say, I don't like to be squirted in the face, so if you're going to squirt, let me know. Right, and you've had great experiences with that. You're able to get them off. Certain people I can read going, oh, she's about to squirt and i back up well and and the one because you knew because you knew ahead of time she let you know she let you know some of the things to look for so that you were able to be out of the firing line because again now i realize some people want to they they get off on that and rock on if that's your thing if you love come on your face guy come chick come I don't rock on yeah kick ass but if you don't you hold on I'm reading the comment I know I just oh my god usually make sure everyone has a scuba diving certificate and breathe easily through their ears if they're going to do oral okay Thank you. everyone has a scuba diving certificate and can breathe easily through their ears if they're going to do oral okay see so but there you go again it's a warning thing right that's a warning because again not everybody wants to be hosed it's completely blasted so the thing is granted heat of the moment stuff happens but once it starts like there was no intentions of eating pussy but all of a sudden it started somebody needs to say something at that point in time okay yeah you need to say something and same with sucking dick you know say something so again we talk about the person who is the one getting hosed or getting come in on whatever has the final say if and when that goes anywhere okay but i can tell you nothing will ruin the mood of a couple playing than someone getting jizzed on that didn't want to be jizzed on
Speaker3: it didn't ruin it i i was wanted to be cleaned off and then we were laughing about it later right right it wasn't it no it didn't but it was it caught me by surprise and that was the first
Speaker1: time and i learned my lesson no but there are some people that if a guy comes in a girl's mouth that will that will kill well yeah that will absolutely that it's over and thanks for playing it's done so you want to communicate that okay so but let's let's move to the other the okay obviously oral that's kind of somewhat of a no-er, but now let's go to just regular fucking because he, again, I, so I did think of things other than just laughing all week about this question. Okay. I did think of other things that go right along with it. Just a, just a scotch. Right. Okay. There are a lot of different rules about where people can and can't come. And includes with condoms okay so the first thing we all like to do is we like to make assumptions well here's the deal you know if you don't like wearing condom you got to wear a condom whatever the case may be then all of a sudden it's like well then it's not a big deal well to some people to some couples it is it is still a big deal it is still a big deal that's that that takes in and and shoots over a line i can't wait to listen way i can't wait to listen to this one play on thursday uh but all hells regularly but the thing is is again, assuming there's a problem now, whose responsibility do you think it is? In your opinion, is it to figure that out ahead of time? Both. See, I don't think it's both. I don't, I don't think, I don't think it's equally both. Well, a lot of times if you're messaging people ahead of time... Yes. I've had guys ask me, so where do you like me to come? Yeah, in my ear. Oh, yeah. If you hold your dick up to your ears, you can hear the ocean. Under the sea. Stop it. No, yes. I've had guys message me asking me where would you like me to come yeah you know they think that's to some people that's sexy that's dirty talk oh yeah wherever the closest to the towel no but okay that you can that's a great way to bring up the conversation you can try to incorporate in dirty talk if you wanted to and that's cool that they're asking but i don't think see to me that falls on again if you have a rule against something you you need to verbalize you need to say look here's the deal you if you know you're wearing condom you can come at me or or i'm fixed you can can come on me. Whatever the case may be. I think it should go both ways. Yeah, probably. Because ultimately everybody should talk about it. I mean, whatever. It should be decided ahead of time a little bit. Because there's nothing more awkward than leading up to it. And all of a sudden you're right there and you're like, you don't know what to do. I've had guys do that. Panning. Where can I come? Here's the only thing that I say that can be awkward about not having that conversation ahead of time is that because, and you can relate to this. You can relate to this, I think. I think you and I can. Here's the deal. So let's hypothetically set this scenario, right?
Speaker2: Okay. Okay.
Speaker1: There's this couple and they're hot, right? And we're going to get to fuck them, okay? So it's not just the dude's hot for you, but she's hot.
Speaker2: Okay. Okay?
Speaker1: But they're younger, like 20-somethings.
Speaker2: Okay. Okay?
Speaker1: So, which instantly means that this is a rare occurrence for colon, whatever. So, in this case, obviously, we're using condoms, and she goes, yeah, you can fucking come in me. me we're getting ready to fuck and you can come in me exactly how exactly that moment in time be honest it's not be honest how are you going to feel about that i wouldn't be okay with it but i'm wearing a condom a condom i would be no you wouldn't bullshit bullshit you would be more okay with it but you would not tell it because we all know let's face it condoms don't fucking guarantee that you're not going to knock somebody up and there's the fear factor and and it's a legit look okay when i was younger i had i had manly sperm potent sperm wait i knock you up like no other right or you had eggs that were just grabbing everything aside one of the two the thing is is that but there's that fear factor so the problem is if you wait till that moment in time it didn't help that when we were on a certain website and we used to cam constantly we actually had people come to us going, this scenario happened.
Speaker3: They want me to help them get pregnant.
Speaker1: We had a show. We had basically had a show. We cammed and then we would spend another two hours doing just what we're doing now back then. And yes, we had somebody come to us.
Speaker3: A couple different people.
Speaker1: Yeah, come to us enough that we had to help direct them to lawyers and whatever because people wanted them. And we've since learned that that's actually a kink. It's actually a fetish to try to get pregnant. Which rock on only if everybody involved is into that. Right. And you're covering your ass for repercussions. If the ass isn't involved, there's no problem. Jack's no problem no but so the reality is you would have more of a problem with that because you know and and the fear factor becomes oh my god you know i'm 47 you're 48 we really don't want to have another child especially not with somebody that's not us we don't we't want one with us. How do you explain that to your parents? Hey, guess what? Nana. You adopted this kid. Looks just like Cole. Imagine that. Looks just like me. Really? Where'd you adopt him from? Well, we happen to know the adopted mother. She's the hottie right there. She's the 23-year-old. Yeah. No, I'm'm just kidding but the the thing is is okay so that but and for some couples that is a big deal no there is no coming allowed no coming inside allowed so it does have to be talked about but the point i wanted to make with that was even though i believe it's up to the other couple to inform you of their rules right as a couple well, you need to rule you need to be on the same page because here's the deal it doesn't matter if our rule is you ain't coming inside her because she's under fucking 40 and she has a uterus okay then you know what it doesn't matter at that point in time if our rules are i'm pulling the fuck out kind of guess what i better pull the fuck out or i'm gonna get it cut off i mean what what i do but i mean still and if and there are some people again they they like you know you they fuck with a condom but when it comes time for pop shots and for the whatever either they want to do the porn thing which i've yet to find somebody that's just when i say i'm going to come yanks the condom spins so I can shoot her in her face. If you're out there, please let us know. Send me an email. I'm kidding. No, you're not. Shut up, kind of. I mean, a little bit. But, I mean, there are some, you know, some people don't care. You go and come on my ass, go and do whatever. Rolling nose lines. Now, I'm going to throw, let's see. Now, look, let's see. I did think of some serious shit with this. I did. I've always thought about this. This is one of those things, again, go back to that young scenario again. Okay. Okay. And I look at this in porn all the time. I mean, I do research on porn. I don't look at it for anything. Strictly medicinal purposes. Okay. Anyway deal you know when you start shooting spoo around the room right you're shooting on her butt on her ass on her stomach whatever the case may be you're upping your risk just a little bit why are you just looking at me like that the page went quiet and you went quiet. This is where doing a podcast is really hard. The risk of what? Elaborate. Knocking a girl up. Coming on her ass and her chest? Not on her chest. I don't think it's going to run that far. That's a serious swimmer. When that motherfucker looks like a tadpole hopping down her chest into her pussy yeah that's right no like you'll see and they'll like come on her like come on her cooter on the outside or they'll come right out you know that look the bottom line is when you start spoo you're using a condom you're using a condom a to present diseases right right you're using a condom b to prevent pregnancy pregnancy so once you start taking off and whip and spoo around the room just saying yeah but i think the chances are pretty low on that well what the chances the chances of getting a disease using a condom is pretty low but it's still there true i i saw an interesting website uh this last week and i was looking at and and it's it's for a club whatever but the whole they did a big intro on their page about here's the deal about not being you know where like uh they're not responsible for what happens type shit okay and they put in there again about the that, remember, it's not completely safe sex. It's safer sex. Condoms do not prevent.
Speaker2: There are several other diseases they're not 100% to protection with.
Speaker1: So, granted, I understand that it becomes a long shot.
Speaker2: That's funny.
Speaker1: Are you even listening to me?
Speaker2: Yes, I was listening to you.
Speaker1: Okay, but it's a long shot, but it's still going to happen.
Speaker2: I've been working hard on these Yes, I was listening to you. Okay, but it's a long shot, but it's still good to have it.
Speaker1: I've been working hard on these fucking things all week long. What did Nancy have to say?
Speaker2: Hard.
Speaker3: I don't know. You won't let me finish reading it.
Speaker1: I won't finish reading it out loud. Read it to the class. Everyone wants to hear it.
Speaker3: Communication the day before.
Speaker1: You want to read it in the microphone?
Speaker3: No, because I can't see it.
Speaker1: Here. Oh. Okay. Communication. The day before I played with someone, after two weeks of chatting, realized we never covered the come question. I politely told him, hey, please no coming anywhere but inside. Thanks. Thank heavens, because he was used to pulling out and shooting and for everybody's information nancy's the one that will vomit at the sight of cum and that's a good thing because that would really ruin the moment wait a minute i gotta put this out nancy's a very good friend of ours so she can she she understands why right right now what she's about to say as soon as i say this next part is fuck you cole okay that's what she's saying i promise you but i gotta i gotta tell you please as for the love of everything good holy have a video camera set up for that because there would have been nothing funnier he pops off and you start viewing that would have been i sorry sorry i can't help myself that's funny uh no i mean but here's something And right now, right now i guarantee she can't type fuck you cold fast enough but it is a very serious it is a very real thing you have to know remember the okay here's here's the other argument i'm going to make about fucking spoo on the loose okay runaway spoo okay you're you're keeping things it's if you were in the medical if you were in a medical facility right and it and you and they had to collect a sample i mean then i just gonna do it bare-handed and fucking no big deal it's just come why because it's what it's bodily fluid it's a it's a bodily fluid beginning of that sorry it's going toizer. Wait a minute. What? Repeat that? It's a bodily fluid. It's a bodily fluid.
Speaker3: I didn't call it the beginning of that. Sorry.
Speaker1: It's going to the hospital and shooting cum. Okay, yes. All that shit's a long shot, long shot. God damn it. All that stuff is, it's things to be considered. It's food for thought if you swallow.
Speaker2: Would you please jump in and say anything and help me out of this mess? He turned 12 all over again. 12. Oh, God. I always said guys didn't mature until the age of at least 35, 40. And he reverted right back. Obviously at 47, we're still not close. Where are we at on time?
Speaker1: How are we doing?
Speaker3: That sure seems like a long first off. You got your fuck you, Cole.
Speaker1: There it is.
Speaker3: It's 33 minutes into it.
Speaker1: Oh, hey. Okay, so.
Speaker3: You want to do a half time?
Speaker1: Why don't we take a quick break? Take a quick.
Speaker2: Check out.
Speaker1: Let's ejaculate into the commercial. Oh, my God. Wait for you to spoon more knowledge you know what I don't know if anybody else is going to like the show but I sure had a fucking load of fun recording do you know how fun it is to raise three boys plus that okay so real quick hey again a couple of different things remember to get all of your Crazy Kazba and Crazy Truth group, make sure you visit us at www.crazykazba.com. Also, make sure that you take and vote for us. We're up for a couple of awards for the ASN Lifestyle Magazine Awards. We are up for Best Party Theme with Crazy Winter Nights. We are up for Sex sexiest meteor resource with crazy truth the show you're listening to now and we're up for rookie of the year we're not really rookies but we're up for it uh for changing lifestyle with crazy casbah so if you do us a huge favor and vote for us we would greatly appreciate it we will be in las vegas uh for the show for the awards you go to www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote crazy truth crazy winter nights crazy casbah we certainly appreciate it okay we're back we're back on track now you don't have anything you don't want to say anything with that i was trying to come up with something witty and i just don't have i don't know i you know the thing is is i know that question a lot of times people listen to our show right and they think that some of these questions they go oh well you've kind of covered it or you've covered parts of it or whatever the case may be because a lot of new people have similar questions and the thing is is why why do we cover things that are similar why do we cover why do i like like a question like that so much because legitimately it's a question that people don't feel comfortable asking as general when you're new who do you walk up to hey i know we just met you this meet and greet and we've been in this you know for you know a little while we don't know so uh what's the proper etiquette for what's proper jizz etiquette i mean that's not something you ask a lot of it you don't even know to ask and so even though sometimes i hear this i got an email uh this week that said that one of the questions we did i don't know two shows ago three shows ago whatever it was they're like well you kind of already touched on that yeah we did and we understand that but the thing is is that people when they have questions they may word it a little bit different i would rather i would much rather recover a topic versus versus not at all so that people get answers what fire away This is going to be good Okay So Shelly
Speaker3: Comments that she used to do semen analysis as part of her job in a medical lab okay and to get the specimen onto the slide to look at under a microscope they used to have to mouth pipe it so she had to blow the sperm no you suck it up into this pretty much like into a straw and drop it onto the boy you i bet you learned not to suck too hard i need another specimen oh my lord really shit that makes me gag i don't even gag on it Okay. See, there you go. Now, see, we learned stuff.
Speaker2: If only it just takes... Really? Shit, that makes me gag. I don't even gag on it. Okay. See, there you go. Now, see, we learned stuff. If only it just tasted sweeter.
Speaker1: How do you put that in your job description?
Speaker2: Semen analysis. That's it.
Speaker1: It doesn't mean you're going to be sucking on it with a straw.
Speaker2: I'm sorry. I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker3: When am I supposed to be doing what? I'm surprised I didn't use the little...
Speaker1: It probably doesn't want to come out. It's too sticky for that.
Speaker3: Eye dropper type of thing. Too sticky.
Speaker4: Hey, well, wait.
Speaker1: You know, here's what's funny, though. This is a great show because part of sex is cum. Go to any fucking hotel after a swinger party and walk to that motherfucker with a blacklight. It's about cumming. I mean, so why not have that honest discussion about... The i ever got to was biology and we had to dissect rats that had just been gassed and i happened to get the male rat and you know you see his testicles were like slicing it and the ta was like we'll put it on a slide so i took his nuts and went oh my lord you saw him swimming around and then fast forward 40 years later i shot a load and went in your eye and you basically saw it swimming across your eye that's pretty awesome we need to have people share those types of stories just for any knowledge i don't care to get my face wet even with water let alone let alone jizzlistic yeah have you ever seen someone take a shower and afraid they're not gonna be able to breathe so they're covering up their nose yes i have met somebody else that way yes no i know i'm not the only no and i know you don't but rain i like but but here's the thing that's why we talk about this kind of shit because look it this is real, is this is real swinging it's i mean this is the real deal this is what it's all fucking about i look we all have and we're going to do a show in the next couple in the next couple weeks because i've got a whole bunch of questions for it we're going to do like a show that that talks about highs and lows and best and whatever and most unique stuff that we've done okay and that and that's fucking cool but the reality is most people's swinging experience does not in or or not all of their swinging experience is in some exotic location uh in a tropical paradise type well it'd be awesome i mean maybe they have experience but look there's more shit that happens like uh that happens at like you know motel six on a weekend hookup i mean that's the that's the reality of it right what are you giggling about well nancy wants another topic jizz you know think about when ever you've gone, hey, can I come on you somewhere else? I'm like, okay, fine. Which, you know, not the face. Right. What do I do when you're done? I go. Yeah, which is awesome. Give me a towel. They just lay there frozen. Yeah. They sit there and get a drink of water. There was one time. Angie's going to hang up on us now. She's never going to listen to the rest of the show she's gonna hang up she's not on the phone she'll just you'll just hear about you you know tomorrow when she calls you fuck you cool but think about there was the one time that we had met the the guy cam guy yep and he used to be a swinger whether he knew or not we, I have no actual idea. We were too new into everything.
Speaker3: And I ended up sucking your dick and his dick at the same time.
Speaker1: And that was hot as fuck.
Speaker3: Y'all came on me.
Speaker2: We did.
Speaker3: But I can't remember. I think I just held my face up and y'all got my chest.
Speaker1: No, because you said, not the face. It was not the face. And he also used too much lube. Because you were like... Just that nasty lube case.
Speaker3: He jacked off the lube You're not normal
Speaker1: I don't jack off the lube
Speaker3: I know
Speaker1: Those guys do Seriously?
Speaker3: I think so Hell I don't know
Speaker1: I don't
Speaker2: I don't
Speaker1: I really
Speaker2: I never
Speaker1: I never have I don't know It doesn't do anything for me It just makes my hand slicker Slickery And it just slows down the process
Speaker3: I've jacked off the lube on my hand
Speaker1: Yeah I mean But You're touching my dick So I'm gonna come regardless It really doesn't Hey she's touching my dick Thank you. Slickery, and that just slows down the process. I've jacked you off with lube on my hand. Yeah, I mean, but you're touching my dick, so I'm going to come regardless. It really doesn't. Hey, she's touching my dick. Look. So, you know. See, this is the real type of shit that people need to know. There are people right now taking notes. Do we use lube? Not use lube. Do you lose lube? No. I had a neighbor that talked about her husband using up a whole bottle of lotion. Yeah. Hey, invest in lube. And one hand was felt like soft dick i know dicks are soft to begin with well that's just johnson johnson soft right there how do you explain that shit when one hand is fucking like a velvet glove and the other one's like sandpaper i don't know no i don don't know. Lube can. He was a carpenter, so. This is my working hand, and this is my playing hand. Maybe he switched. Ambidextrous. I wish I could do that. I can't, man. Seriously. Like, if I were to lose my dominant hand, I'm fucked. You would learn, just like you'd learn to write with the other hand. You'd learn to jack off with the other hand oh but the training it would take it'd be like it was like the rocky movie when he learned to switch to like a from a southpaw you know and added and mickey like taped his arm up who loves your rock and that'd be me stroking to be like fucking all fucked up and shit you You can find a rhythm. Seriously, I have tried. I have tried to expand my horizons and increase my jacking off ability. So because, you know, my one shoulder is kind of fucked up anyways. And so it gets tired. Like if it won't come right away, it's like, well, now my arm's fucking tired. Well, I can't, you know, tag in his little buddy because he's over here like the fucking kid that eats clay.
Speaker3: Any consolation with a vibrator, I'll always hold it with my right hand. I don't hold it with my left hand.
Speaker1: Yeah, but even with a vibrator, it takes you forever.
Speaker3: No, it doesn't depend on how horny I am.
Speaker1: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sometimes it's like... That's the battery going dead. Fuck! Clink, my God. Sometimes it's like, it's like.
Speaker3: That's the battery going dead.
Speaker2: Fuck.
Speaker1: Clink.
Speaker2: No, have it died. You click it back on and you click it off. You click it back on and going, come on, just a little bit more. It only seems to take a long time when like, like I'm waiting like on tune like yay.
Speaker1: And you're like, because you like, you like to get, after after you get fucked you like to do you like a clit stimulator thing and so and then if you want to like go from there then there's just waiting time and i'm kind of tired by that point in time and it's like holy fuck is this ever gonna be you know i'm trying to still stroke to keep it hard and then i just lose patience and my arm gets tired i can't use my other arm and like all hell breaks shelly goes well man now you know what cole does when you're not at home i already knew that why do you think i have sometimes he tells me sometimes i bitch at her for calling me one time i bitch at her for calling me could you not call me i was i found a great porn i was right in the middle of it she goes why did you answer the phone because it was you and i didn't want to i was just getting ready to come. Call me back when you're done. Call me back when you're done. Dirty talking, you can get off with that. No, because you're typing at the same time. It's not the same. You're doing work, and you hear your other office people. I want to suck your dick. What? What? I want to suck your dick. What? I want to suck your dick. I can't yell it. I want to suck your dick. What? I want to suck your dick. I can't yell it.
Speaker2: I want to suck it.
Speaker1: Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker2: Look.
Speaker1: Just say it. They know we're married.
Speaker2: It's okay.
Speaker1: You never know who's going to be behind you. So we're like, Amanda said she wants to suck my dick. And next thing you know, you're winning fucking employee of the month award like over, over and over again.
Speaker3: There's a couple.
Speaker1: Just the boss. Hey, about that raise. No. There's one salesperson that always tries to sneak up behind me. Yeah, I know. He's younger, but I do it. When are you going to fucking tap that? I don't know. He sat in my chair. I'm like, oh, fucking jump. Jesus, you're an experienced swinger. You're a chick. You have built in predatory abilities. Pussy, cats, pounce.
Speaker2: Hello?
Speaker1: Oh, my God. Okay, I don't even know what we're doing now. Can't talk about jizz anymore because we're making some of our customers. Not our customers. Kind of a customer. Not paying, but a customer. A listener, a listener's ill. Taking money would be bad. Now we're moving on to prostitution. Now tomorrow I have my employee appreciation meeting. And the last one I walked up behind this guy, older guy. And I leaned up up against him but it was my boob on his arm and he just went oh oh shit and he's been in the car business forever so then when he walked back around and I was leaning up against him and he rubbed my boob with his arm and I'm like dude you have no idea and I just kind of grin I didn't say anything if you only knew you would fucking keel over from a heart attack oh he'd love it no shit happy holidays yeah but he isn't like the most appealing but I'd do it not without signing a fucking waiver you want cause he's had a fucking heart transplant or some shit. He has not had a heart transplant. No, but no, he's had a massive heart thing and you do get a waiver for... Look, there are some things in the lifestyle you get waivers for, okay? If you were a shitty fucking... Yeah, don't worry about it. But you're a good fuck and the reality is you hop on top of somebody like that, you need a waiver sign. He's short.
Speaker3: We could sneak into a closet.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker3: Actually have sex standing up.
Speaker1: No, because, no, I'm telling you, as soon as that moment, when he sounds like a fucking, when he sounds like a seagull screeching, when the excitement of he's going to get to fuck you, I think people will know. They'll be like, ah!
Speaker2: It'll be like this thing, and then when he's having his heart attack afterwards yeah someone will probably know when you're trying to sneak out of there and everybody's standing there i i don't know what happened i heard red scream and i ran for help yeah okay hey that's a good actually that's a good topic what so okay so i'm which part well i i just i don't have a question with this one because I was worried about jizz stuff today. So, whatever. Fucking people at work. People that you work with that are non-swingers. That's what I'm putting out here. Would you seduce a non-swinger at work? Swingers don't count because they're one of us. We all wear a disguise or whatever, but they're one of us, so it's all good.
Speaker1: But non-swingers.
Speaker3: Would I?
Speaker2: Depend on the person.
Speaker3: Are you currently working on it? Dory.
Speaker2: Well, one's an ex-co-worker.
Speaker5: I don't work with him. Oh, but still.
Speaker3: Oh, but there's, okay. So the old guy, I'd probably do. Well, yeah, if it was approached, I probably would.
Speaker1: Guess who's going to the Christmas party this year?
Speaker3: The really young guy that asked me to go out.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker3: Even though, I don't know if he's married or not, but he has a girl, lady friend. Yeah, we don't know what that status is. But I don't't really know where he was going with asked me to go hang out well i know where i was going and then the other guy i think he he prefers tall women so i would not fit in his little scenario every guy prefers a lot of shit but when pants comes off they don't't care. Well, he's like 6'3", 6'4". But he prefers those tall girls, the way he goes after the volleyball players.
Speaker2: Fuck.
Speaker1: Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's like searching for unicorns.
Speaker3: I think he comes over and talks to me as the mom, because I'm the same age as his dad.
Speaker1: Well, maybe his dad doesn't look too bad. you ever think about that don't know yeah you never know the same age he could call you mommy do i what i need to read so the the thing okay Nancy put, she was waiting in line for a store to open yesterday,
Speaker3: and some older guy with bad hips said, come over here and I'll warm you up if you want to sit on my lap. Lord, I about fell over, and then he asked me if I was wearing a thong.
Speaker1: See, this is kind of the stuff. Wait a minute.
Speaker5: Wait.
Speaker1: We need to back that up a second. How did she know he had bad hips yeah that i don't know maybe that's why he was sitting down i don't know i did have a co-worker his since then left and we were trying to hook up he was cured he knew i was a swinger yes because i didn't hide well i kind of handed around to it so he'd find out right that was that was yeah but once he did there was a time he brushed across my ass to see if i had anything on yeah and i'm like i don't wear anything yeah yeah it's it look it's funny when a non-swinger finds out and and you can tell when they're interested most people people won't say, you know, they don't. But every now and then, it's funny. It's funny. Do I necessarily recommend it? No. It has a potential to go horribly south. It can, unless you know what intentions are, it can go very south. We live in a, you hit on the wrong person at work, that's just not appropriate. I had a co-worker that was a swinger that would take pictures in his office. Oh, yeah. I'm like, dude, you're hiring management. You're taking pictures of your dick hanging out of your pants. Somebody walks by that shit. Oh, fucking sweet mother of Christ. Yeah. So that's interesting. I would be interested to see what more people thought about that. Because, you know, in the swinging circles, you hear about hear about it all the time like you go out and go vanilla hunting you go to a bar and go vanilla hunting so how many people though have or would go vanilla hunting at their work because let's face it you spend more time with people at your job than anywhere else so i mean how many how many what because most of the guys i work with i'm more of a mother figure well okay and you you're in the new car business versus the old school way but i mean but you think about it i mean really that's an interesting an interesting concept because it's living double lives and this time if you're a new swinger it is challenging at times okay so see there is like a don't point to this whole thing there it it's it's challenging at times to keep your your swinger life and your weekends separate from your weekdays because you start to think about it you know or whatever you're talking to somebody or you're you know that on our page where people, we've always said the rule is you can't have super dirty pictures on the front page. It had to be in comments and shit. So otherwise people will look over your shoulder and start asking questions. But that's a huge challenge. And then one of the things that becomes, though, at times is the temptation. Look, every single person has somebody at their work they'd like to fuck. Or we can't everybody, but we'll say 90% of people have somebody at their work they would like to fuck. The thing is, is it a good idea of would you do it? Would you try to convert them? It depends if you think they can keep their mouth shut. Isn't that the game? And their behavior. Yeah. Yeah, well, it is. It opens a whole new set of- You did it. i didn't i didn't yeah that was a disaster to have not at my work i said it wasn't your work it wasn't a disaster my work it was a disaster in our lives but it wasn't just that it wasn't even it was your first it was a learning curve with female yeah it was a learning curve so it wasn't a disaster but it had the the degree of batshit crazy that was involved with that okay that's the whole different story had the potential to be uh really bad at work it could it could have been if anything and that's part of this i think come to find out she about fucked the whole sales team yeah well yeah i mean i you know i, you know, I was first in line, so rock on. It's all about where you fall in the order, the packing order. Wow. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm here all day, all week. So, yeah. I don't know. That's an interesting thing. We'll talk more about that. You're just like looking at me. Am I not supposed to? Well, I mean, I don I think it's Now I've told people I work well Okay a select few That I have swinger friends Yeah and you know what Nobody's buying that Well probably not It's only two people that I've said that to And one gal goes you know I have swinger friends and you know i can get you hooked up you know with some swinger people if you want to and she just kind of giggles she goes no that's okay like people there no you'd be popular no no look no one no one yeah our business is different though your that business is different than some the reality is like people we had we say that to everybody because some of them are very much prudes well everybody knows that there were swingers anyways because the one event where i invited my boss came out and then the drunk girl came up and fucking ran her mouth are you are you a swinger too i was like oh fuck my life he goes no but but you know oh it's all good yeah it was all good i guarantee you fucking told there's three different dealerships in the city that know fucking we're swingers it doesn't matter now we're out it i mean that's with all of our shit we don't really care but have the balls to confront me yeah exactly but that's something to be there there's the i think the biggest thing that stops people from stuff at work because that is that's that area that whole discretion and and what happens you know but if they're look again you know i'm talking vanilla hunting we're gonna have a whole show about vanilla hunting too that's on my list i'm i'm not good at that no we're neither one of us are we're not very good at but we need to have like we need to like put a call out you got the one co-worker that wasn't. Well, yeah.
Speaker2: Right, but one out of how many? I mean, you know, if we're going for like... I couldn't go to a bar and figure out who would be even vaguely interested in picking up. If we were having a vanilla hunt for food like to live, we'd have starved to death a long time ago. No, well, we need to... So here... Okay, so this is what we're going to... I'm putting a call out. If you are, if you or your spouse or whatever, if you consider yourselves expert vanilla hunters, send us an email. Converters? Yeah, if you have that kind of the conversion power, then send us an email. Okay, so we're going to do like at the end of like Jerry Springer's show. A couple things we're looking for. if you are a great conversion hunters vanilla hunter send us an email for an upcoming show okay if you have someone that i'm still looking for some vanilla that we can bring on an interview of vanilla it's hard to bring in one of our friends that are vanilla i don't care if it't bother me to tell them, but to get a vanilla's reaction to what the lifestyle is all about. If you had somebody that you would want to hear what their thought is,
Speaker1: let us know. And what else do we want? I got a pseudo thing on vanilla's on Facebook, on a group that I was on where someone asked if anybody in the group was a swinger, and I'm like, I am. Yeah, loud and proud enough. You go, girl. But there are some people, no, I'm only faithful to one. I only love one. I can only love one. Well, some of us only love one also, and that's not what it's about. I could never cheat. It's not cheating if he knows about it. You know, all the misconceptions. misconceptions exactly and that's one of the things i want that's that's why i want i want a vanilla on our show so that we can get the vanilla's perspective of of swinging because i think it's gonna be funny as shit because they think of porn swinging no one girl at work i could probably have her come in and give her conception, you know, her opinions about it. But she's like, no, swingers have sex for fun. Right. Well, still. And I'm like, from what I hear. And we don't want to convert her, so it's good. They only love one person, but they're like lots of dicks. Yeah. So, I mean, that's just something. So, if you know somebody that you'd like, would be willing to do that, let us know. And again, if you're a great vanilla, a vanilla owner. Okay, that's a good place to stop. All right, again, don't forget this episode. Episode 80, it's going to be out this Thursday. And again, it is jizz etiquette. But let's give another shout out again to our newest sponsors, SexyStripperClothing.com. Quality clothing that's exotic for raise festivals pole dancing clothing accessories shoes so much more visit them at www.sexystripperclothing.com also don't forget about our crazy winter nights uh coming up and january 17th to the 19th get your tickets kids this is the event you don't want to miss www.crazywinternightscom to get your tickets we're so excited good friends at sls radio are going to be out there uh broadcasting live from the event and we've we've there's so much stuff going on that you want to be there and please vote for us if you get a chance www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote all right right, kids, until next week, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only fucking way I ever will.