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Transcript
Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Be sure to like and follow Crazy Truth on Swingtowns.
Swingtowns has been around for 20 years, so they're an established, well well-known site with lots of users so you'll be able to easily find people you're interested in and unlike other big sites on swing towns you don't have to worry about being bombarded with messages from people you're not interested in because only people you're interested in can message you and the best part is you can message those people for free on swing towns hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth this is episode number eight we're so excited to be here uh i am your host with the most cole with the lovely miss amanda hey looky there here we go we are ready to go hope you are too we got all kinds of exciting things to talk about we're gonna take your questions tonight we've got some good ones uh we've actually do i'm gonna do a little bit different tonight and i'll explain that in just a second but we're gonna start the show the way we always start the show that's right uh we're gonna start with some from some sex news because that's the way to roll so all right kids get out uh your wallets get ready for the uh the latest greatest high-end sex toys that's right there's a new company out it is called mystery vibe this is three engineers that have taken the leap to get into the sex business and the toy business because kind of like building a better mousetrap they believe they could build a better vibrator now that's pretty damn exciting so uh they actually released a vibrator uh a little while back it's called the crescendo for women and the big thing with this vibrator was that it actually took and it bends in over a hundred different positions so you can curve the vibrator to the person's body okay so that's pretty damn exciting right off the bat that's what we need so you can bend it all the way around you can make it however you want to fit everything you need to make it fit now that's not the exciting part what's exciting is uh they have come out or they're getting ready to release uh what is called the tenuto uh and this is a male vibrator there we go a male vibrator so what this does is it takes and it wraps around your penis and it's got a total of six vibrators in this so the goal is as they put it themselves It's going to provide you a longer harder more intense sexual experience than anything you've ever had so what's really cool with that is is that it is supposed it's designed so both the guy is going to get off with it and also the girl is going to get off with it now before you go oh yeah great oh, yeah, great, another sex story, wow, neat, whatever.
These guys took and they went to a tech show, and for newest design, they actually beat out the Apple Watch. They picked up an additional 1.5 million pounds of funding. The investors right now, they've raised over $13 million in capital for this company. So get ready, get watched. And their whole thing is to provide a high-end, a high-end Vildo? A Vildo? What the fuck's a Vildo? God, it's going to be a good show. A high-end vibrator for men, and it's going to be released this fall.
So now, unlike the sex toy we talked about last week that was the sex doll that was designed to crush your ego, this I might want. This can go on my wish list, my Christmas wish list. I want the vibrator ring around my neck. But it's the whole shaft, right? Well, I mean, they didn't have any pictures. They didn't show if it was like a sleeve.
Is it like a cock cock ring that vibrates or are we talking like a whole sleeve along i don't think it's a whole sleeve they didn't have pictures they did say pre-orders are available i could not find where to do a pre-order or how much they're going to cost uh so i didn't even know if it's the whole sleeve i'm going to do more research on this because here's the thing if it's the whole sleeve is it shaped like a hand? The fingers bend around? Because then that would be like visually, you know, hot as well as, visually hot as well as, you know, shaking your dick hot.
It can't be the whole sleeve because it's supposed to be for you and your partner. So if I'm wearing this and we're having sex, you're going to get vibrated while I vibrated so then it wouldn't be a hand unless it's a really small small tiny hand little fingers a thin one little bitty fingers how neat dwarf fingers hey that'd be all right make my dick look bigger wait a minute see i think another marketing thing here with that. All right, so make sure you put that on my wish list. Anybody out there, what do you get the host with the most? You get them a vibrator for their penis.
Well, that'll be fun at Thanksgiving to go through the Christmas list with mom and dad. All right, anyways, so moving right along.
All right, so tonight we're going to do something a little bit different today today whatever now on this show and that normally we always answer questions from our viewers and we're going to continue to do that now what's cool is we actually got a whole bunch of questions we actually have three questions they all kind of relate to each other uh from three different people okay so what we're going to do is we're going to change we're going to change up the game a little bit. That's the way we roll around here. We're going to get unique, crazy, wild.
And we're going to answer all three of these questions and how they tie in. All right. Are you ready? Sure. What could possibly go fucking wrong? All right. It's you and I. We can't go wrong here. So, all right. So we're going to start with this is from a listener. They asked to remain anonymous.
They are a relatively new couple in the lifestyle okay all right so they're new they've been listening they feel like they learned a lot so they're turning to us as the possible experts there you go here we go all right so their question is is uh to understand better the importance of understanding each other's rules and then properly interpretation of the boundaries and what to do together after a rule has been broken now that's just one that's just one of the three okay so so we've talked about this before a little bit communication right if you can't communicate in this lifestyle you are fucked and not in the good way you're absolutely you go both ways but then you'll end up getting really screwed in the long run it's gonna be a good fuck turned into a bad fuck it's weird how that works so okay when you when you talk about the importance of understanding each other's rules okay the rules here rules, here's the deal.
You have to, there can be no gray area in the lifestyle. No. Right. Okay. We've tried that. How'd that work out? Mistakes happen though. Yeah, that was, that was definitely, yeah, it was, it was definitely a mistake. Here's the thing. You're not going to know every rule you need to have when you first start. No. Okay. So rules are kind of like anything else. It's like a living, breathing, constantly changing, constantly adapting thing. You have to understand that you're never going to necessarily have the exact same rules.
We don't have the same rules today that we did eight years ago when we first started. No.
Because if I tried to pull some of the shit or you tried to pull some of the shit uh eight years ago that we do today yeah no that was that was not gonna be that is not the way they're gonna go we can even talk about that from saturday a little bit remember what happened saturday well you weren't there you didn't get to see i told you about it though like getting mauled coming out of the bathroom randomly just making out with a girl that came out i well i was already go into the mauled, coming out of the bathroom. Randomly just making out with a girl that came out.
Well, I was already going to go into the bathroom. She was coming out of the bathroom. That wouldn't have faced me eight years ago. Oh, the hell it wouldn't have. No, no. Are you okay? Wait a minute. See, this is going to be a long one.
You're telling me that it would not have been vaguely bothered you eight years ago if I had just come up and said this random girl just started making out with me or that well that i started making out back damn it we should have went through the rules better eight years ago oh shit okay so well for some people though some couples that would be a big thing when you're new if all of a sudden i go to the bathroom and then i don't come back for like i don't know know, 20 minutes, 30 minutes just to go pee. Some couples, it's going to be like, what's going on?
And for some couples, they're going to pop around that corner and all of a sudden there's your partner making out with somebody and that's against the rules. You weren't gone that long. Well, yeah, but I mean, the band was really good, so that's why.
I made out with with her before it's not a big deal yeah so but still the thing is so you you have to understand your rules and boundaries are going to continue to change so you have to be willing and ready to let them change you can't be so set that it's like these are set in concrete these are never going to change because as you get more familiar with the lifestyle this shit's going to change there's no way around it so but when you're deciding upon the rules the thing is it takes time and discussion i mean you have to have a pretty solid set of basic rules before you go to your first event yes because we did i mean we didn't know what to expect when you're new you don't well okay so what were our rules when we first started we didn't really have one for the first meet and greet the first meet and greet we just were like what are we gonna do if everybody gets naked and starts fucking i don't know but which did not happen but no but after that i mean as the rules were kind of we kind of played them by ear as we went really which i don't know if that's necessarily the best way to do it but we didn't dabble our toes in the lifestyle either no we went we went all in our first hookup was we were like we're gonna full swap So, let's go.
know if that's necessarily the best way to do it but we didn't dabble our toes in the lifestyle either no we went we went all in our first hookup was we were like we're gonna full swap either do it or don't no middle ground but if you're if you're gonna if you're gonna take and dabble your toes a little bit i don't know that's right but anyways dip your toes dabble your finger whatever the fuck you're gonna do you're just gonna try it a little bit you need to sit down and you need to understand hey is kissing okay for some couples kissing is not okay at all all right whatever uh that works out but sure but you know kissing is that okay does the other person have to be present do you have to go get permission first you have to go through all those basics and the thing is is that if when you're sitting down the rules if you can't talk honestly with your spouse or your significant other when you're setting the rules that's the first red fucking flag that you should not be in the lifestyle i mean because here's the thing you have to be able you have to be able to to say i want to do this is this okay and you have to be okay with them turning around saying no no, and vice versa.
So, first, when you go through the rules, you set the rules. It's up to each of you to make damn sure that you're actually, you're clear. I mean, number one, this isn't as hard. You shouldn't, I mean, kissing is loud or it's not. This is like a yes or no thing.
If you get confused on again this probably is the lifestyle is not for you i can't even what would be a rule that people get confused on that could be gray area i don't even know maybe if somebody if they're in the room or you got to know them first or i don't even know i can't even think of one right outside my head that would be like an easily to be gray area but let's just say you find one for somehow some way i don't know it's it's you have to you have to get permission first there you go we'll do that one you have to get permission first if you don't know exactly what you have to get permission to do you need to ask you need to clarify before you go in because the worst time to realize to clarify a rule is after it's been broken because at that point in time you're not clarifying a rule you're covering your ass that's all you're or begging for forgiveness right okay so make your make your rules set them up make sure you understand there's nothing wrong with writing down your rules no i mean realistically you don't need to have so many fucking rules that it's a book remember this is not an employee manual okay so you don't you know you need to have your basic rule oh that was says you don't agree with that do you think no no i well i don't know if it necessarily has to be written down i mean if you're confused Maybe But I don't think it has to be written down It's just things that you talk about That you're okay with or you're not okay with Do you think there can be too many rules?
Yes, sometimes I think you can overthink it Absolutely Okay, so good, we're on the same page with that Basic rules Because you might go, well, I'm not okay with X And then when it happens, go okay that wasn't so bad okay you can do that that's true well and let's face it some rules like we're going to a meet and greet now that you've listened to our podcast and you know what meet and greets are you know they're not turning into wild orgy you probably don't need to have a rule about anal sex right off the bat we know anal sex okay great so the first thing i do when i walk up i should not fist somebody gotcha okay i'm down with that some rules you don't necessarily need to have you don't need to have that until maybe for separate parties separate occasions okay so there's no such thing as there's no such thing as too much discussion about the rules though No.
You're going to keep having talks about it, yeah. Yeah, you need to have as many talks and as many discussions about the rules until everybody's 100% sure. Because here's the reality of it. The rules can change like two minutes before you get out of the car to go to the event.
And you have to remember that if the rules change at that point in time if somebody if all of a sudden i go well by the way nobody can touch your nipples like through your shirt or nobody can grab your ass there you go that'd be better well not that but he's gonna be groping off but just saying you got a nice badonkadonk anyway so you just say i say all of a sudden's nobody you can't have people grabbing your ass as the partner you have a responsibility to a either finish talking about if you don't agree or agree and go with it just because it was a last second add-on doesn't mean that you don't have to it doesn't count right so especially your first couple times you've got to know the rules might change because your comfort level, when you're sitting at your kitchen table talking about what you're okay with and what you're not, it's a far fucking cry from what you're going to be okay with and what you're not when you're standing at the bar with a cocktail in your hand.
Yeah. And you know what? As a guy, you can be okay with all kinds of shit. You can say, oh, I don't care if somebody slaps your ass.
Wait until the first time you're in a bar and somebody slaps your ass then you'll know whether or not you're truly okay with how that's a rule because not like you have control over that a lot of times no but you never rule like you're sticking your ass out there hell yeah you could have a rule about if she goes is that all you got that you just let it slide and go well it's on you that might happen that's a story for a different show anyway so okay so you we want you to have clear rules and that's okay so you have the clear rules Thank you.
and go well it's on you that might happen that's a story for a different show anyway so okay so you once you have clear rules and that's okay so you have the clear rules you've made sure everybody understands them right now the here's the thing here's why you cannot have too much discussion about the rules it is not fair for either party to come back after the event and say you didn't listen to the rules the. You didn't understand the rules. You should have that all worked out ahead of time. I do not buy, I mean, I don't know.
Do you buy into the fact that just because I didn't like it when I saw it, that means that you broke the rule? No. No. So there's no way.
It may mean you changed the rule, but you cannot be pissed pissed you cannot be pissed if the rule was you were okay with kissing and that's not a problem and then all of a sudden we get to the bar and i look over and they say no this dude's got his tongue halfway down your throat i can't be pissed you going you know you broke the rule no you didn't break the rule we said we're okay with kissing now that may change now so there has to be honest discussion about that see this is all shit that's red flags if you don't if you don't have these discussions well ahead of time this shit's going to be red flagged okay so that's something you're going to know so so once you've got you went through it and the rules are all good okay we went to the event and and probably more...
You not gonna break a lot of rules initially i think most people when they're new don't break rules they're scared i mean pretty much we were like attached the first couple ones you didn't venture too fucking far away from me and i didn't venture too fucking far away from you do i now well you do we do more now but as i we were pretty much like you know we were like hansel and gretel going through the forest we were holding each other's hands and and leaving breadcrumbs on how the fuck to get out of there in case shit went south okay we well we didn't know i mean i didn't know the first one we were sitting in the car we knew if it was going to turn on an orgy let alone if you went you were going to be like, gangbang.
We didn't have any fucking clue what was going on. Because no one told us what a mean greet was. Weird how that works. So, you know, so the first time it's not going to be. Where the rules come into being, I think, in a big issue is the first time you go to, like, a house party. The first time you go to a hotel party. The world famous bone stock. You know, some of those different events like that, that's where you're going to have the possibility of breaking of the rules, like actual where there's going to be or a good potential to be sex.
And I think that you have to totally, I think you have to totally, you have to look at your basic rules at that point in time and you have to adjust them and adapt them to what's going on when you're actually having sex. Because the reality is at that point in time, it's a whole new world. Okay. You can go to, I don't care if you go to fucking meet and greets for seven years and that's all you do. You will not be prepared and ready for the first time you look over and your spouse is getting the shit fucked out of them. You just won't be. It does not work that way.
Because you're going to look over and you're like, that's hot. But that's my old lady. But that's hot. But that's my old lady. And then she's going to sneeze and you're like, what the fuck was that?
And then shit gets weird then shit gets weird we've talked about that so you have to understand so when you go into a situation where there's absolutely going to be sex you need to sit down and have a very serious it's hard to believe we don't do very much shit serious no i mean we're always fucking around but we had a pretty serious when it came to like time for fucking because it was like the first time we were going to an event that there was gonna be multiple people multiple rooms and areas you need to have it clear clearly understood is it okay is it gonna be same room is it gonna be soft swap is it gonna be full swap here's the deal you want to talk about someone will piss your spouse off let them think that you're going in and it's going to be soft swap and the next thing you know you know she's sucking the guy's dick because that's soft swap and you're banging the girl somewhere there are the lines got crossed somewhere someone's rules were broken yes and at that point in time that is when freak outs occur so you you need to make sure that you have real set, you know, what you're going to do or pretty good, damn good idea.
That is not the place or the time for rules to change. No. That is how many times in the moment? No. How many times have we seen that? I mean, we've seen that at multiple events. Yeah. A few. Here's how you can, for those of you that haven't seen this before, here's how you can tell when a couple's rules have been broken at an event causing sex. There is usually yelling. There's usually tears. There's usually doors slamming. Trying to stop fistfights. Possible fistfights.
People calling other people motherfuckers and people running out of said building that is a pretty good indication that shit has went somewhere south along the line so no you need to have those rules and you don't break you don't alter the rules when it's actual play time that is just a bad idea and no let's put it clearly out there booze is not an excuse oh i was so drunk i wouldn't have done it normally no it doesn't work that way at all you didn't we have not done anything on booze that we weren't pretty much okay with at a time no okay with but yeah we might have executed we might have executed it a little bit differently okay but we were still okay with it it wasn't it's not like all of a sudden you know i don't know i don't even you know next thing i know you know we were all drunk and you were getting gangbanged yeah no it wasn't like that i mean it was all stuff we'd already talked about we were okay with it's just the execution was different i'll agree so so the thing is okay so you want to make sure you you have the rules and you do need to have those rules are you okay does it need to be same room does it need to be soft swap hearts or full swap what are the limitations you need to have that spelled out if you go into an event and you don't have that that spelled, you are asking for disaster.
I know one time initially we were same room only, and there was one time that y'all got kicked out of the room for laughing and stuff. Okay, yes. But we were okay with that. But we knew them. Okay, but you have to understand.
Now, one, remember there was a near-death experience involved.death experience involved okay quick story time all right so we were getting ready to hook up with a couple we'd hooked up with them before so we we knew them we had a little bit of history we did a lot of trust there uh and there was a sex swing involved and so they had like a bunch of uh a room in there not a dungeon but a room in their basement that's where they had like a sex swing and some things like that set up well they didn't leave it set up all the time there were two hooks hung up on the ceiling okay one hook was for the sex swing one hook was not the husband uh hooked the sex swing to the wrong to the wrong hook and we'd all been on the bar and we were whatever.
And that was the first time you were tied up to the wall, blindfolded. Yep. And, and so you're, you were experimenting a little bit with the BDSM and this is my first time using a sex wing. And so her and I are going at it and all of a sudden the fucking hook gave way.
And I'm telling you what, you have not seen a penis go soft so fast as when the hook goes just breaks her head slams into a cement wall and she falls into a bucket and i was like oh my god and and you know when little those of you that have little kids you know like when a little kid they're like their body's shaking but you don't know if they're laughing or crying and there's no sound and there's no sound that's what she was doing i'm just like oh my god is she dead and and she was laughing but i we almost had like an emergency i don't know i couldn't see i was playing for it yeah and and miss amanda's going what's going on what's going on is everybody okay we didn't even bother to unt?
We didn't even bother to untie her until after we made sure everything was okay. So after that, we decided we needed another beer, which we did have another beer. And then her and I, we were a little drunk. We were a little drunk and a little giggly. So when we all went upstairs, we decided no more sex in the room with the cinder block walls for safety, for safety's sakes only. When we went upstairs, we were a little giggly, and we were just trying to lighten the mood, and we kept cracking jokes, and we were disrupting because we were throwing off the pattern.
And that was, you and him both told at the same time to get the fuck out. Get out, get out. And so we continued to laugh. We went out and had sex in the living room uh we were allowed back in yeah we were allowed back in and we started cracking jokes again yeah thank you very much we're good that way god i swear to god i thought she died i'll never forget that sound that was the sound of her head and then into the bucket. She went right into the bucket when they kept the sex swing. At least it didn't completely kill her. God, thank God. When there was no trip to the emergency room, hallelujah.
But yeah, we still laugh about that. We still laugh about that today. That was like what? God, that had been seven years ago. Yeah, that was a long time ago. That's still one of the things. We still laugh about that today.
All right, that today all right so how can you forget it no shit i know that has nothing to do with rules at all well it did it did because we kicked y'all out of the room and that's not something we ever did right or discussed for that matter well and but even you being tied up we hadn't discussed that ahead of time we hadn't no but there was trust but there was trust there and so it was one of those things that was like okay yeah we're good yeah no worries so but again that was somebody we were more experienced with so as a general see here's one of those shows do as we say not as we do don't change the rules don't change the rules as you're actual as you're actually doing stuff uh okay so let's say the rules got broken i mean we we've had that happen we've we've had that happen we've instigated new rules because of because of confusion right so we were at the we were at a party and uh you were involved with a guy i was involved with a gal and the guy invited you we were pretty new still invited you back to their camper and you and you specifically told me you told me you were going but i was really focused and i didn't hear you and then all of a sudden i was finished up here and i turned around and all i see was you guys headed off to the camper and so guess who got all kinds of of like upset and and like like all fucked up about it and that was me right so uh i remember because i paced around outside the camera deciding if i can come in or not finally i'm like i was just i was like livid yeah and i was like uh do you mind if i come in and fucking watch i was kind of a dick about it too yeah you were i was pretty pissed i was pretty pissed but because of that we changed our rule so now we have a rule we have the touch rule so if if i want your attention i want to tell you something that's important involved fucking or going to have play time or whatever you want to say we literally have to walk up touch the other person this way we know that they we have their attention and tell them what's going on so even all these years our rules continue to evolve and change right yes okay so the next part of that question though is what do you do after a rule has been broken we talk about it we talk about it okay no let's let's no that's what we're supposed to do we didn't always talk about it.
Okay. No, let's... No, that's what we're supposed to do. We didn't always talk about shit calmly. And totally... If I remember it, on the way home from that event where that happened, we did not... I don't know if it was talking. It was talking with vigor and enthusiasm. Well, it started off with a silent treatment. Yeah, it was kind of quiet for the first little bit. And then it got crescendoed and got kind of loud, like real loud. Okay, so again, do as we say, not as we've done. Yelling and screaming is not,... No. Because here's the thing. It was an accident.
As a general rule, when people break rules, it's an accident. I think. I mean, that's why... Look, if somebody's going out specifically trying to break the rules, that's a whole different ballgame. Okay, I think 99% of the time, a rule's broken, somebody, you know, they made an assumption, and we know what making an assumption does, makes an ass out of me and you, you know. So they made an assumption, and they do something along those lines, and that's how a rule gets broken. So after a rule gets broken, and they have a great part with this.
Number one, it is you have to work through it together. Right. You cannot put it off. Okay, if a rule is broken, no, I don't think busting through the door and being like, is the correct answer. Okay. But as soon as it's over, when you guys leave the event, which after a rule is broken, I don't care what stage the event is.
I don't care if it's early early in the event I don't care if it's midway or if it's the end I personally believe You have a responsibility As a couple To get the fuck out Because if you sit around and wait Everybody else is going to sense your attention And that's I don't care if it's a hotel party I don't care if it's a house party people are going to sense it so so once a rule has been broken if you hang out in there and keep chatting keep like partying like nothing's going on another fucking rule is going to get broken and another one then what's going to start happening then you've got revenge fucks happening and then and that's when shit really takes a turn and you do not have the the right to take and uh you don't have the right to take and involve innocent bystanders no okay because the person that you went and broke the rule with it's not their fault that you broke your rule okay it's not it's not your fault with that at all so uh so you know know, you want to keep that in mind.
So you need to you need to take and leave at that point in time. It's going to be that's going to be a key. OK, I want to take a quick second here because, boy, we're running through time. So I want to take a quick second here, a quick break and give a shout out to the sponsor of the second half of our show. the American dream half concert hall, half gentlemen's club, one hell of a party with live music every Thursday through Saturday and adult entertainment every night, never recover, but always a great time. The American dream, 7402 F street in Omaha, Nebraska. Okay.
Back to what we were talking about okay so once you have taken you you have a responsibility to take and leave and get out you need to start talking immediately you need to go you need to go home or go somewhere and you need to start hashing out and talk about it and why did it happen and your feelings because the one thing is for sure if you wait till the next day if you wait till the next day if you wait until a couple of days later or something along those lines guess what's gonna happen it's gonna fester it's gonna fester and you know what a big old nasty pus ridden sore looks like you that's what it's gonna be you're gonna be spewing that shit out when when i think you didn't like that reference hell no gross well that's what it is then it's not a discussion that comes out as complete anger.
You're not going to solve anything unless you talk. You have to communicate. And the thing is, I personally believe you need to not go to another lifestyle event until you get your shit worked out. Yeah. I mean, you just have to.
You have to take, if it takes two weeks to work it out, if it takes two months to work it out, if it takes two weeks to work it out if it takes two months to work it out if it takes two days to work it out whatever it takes you have to work it out because otherwise it's going to spill over and and you have to make sure that it's completely and totally works all the way through before you do that i mean that's just absolutely imperative that make sense i don't know it works for us the way we roll okay so this kind of leads right into I'll see you next time.
you do that i mean that's just absolutely imperative that make sense i don't know it works for us the way we roll okay so this kind of leads right into our next question uh and this comes from ben and he asks transparency in communication do you keep your communications private from your spouse or share it and what he means by it, what that question means is like Texas private messages on Facebook communication that you have with either another individual, another couple all the way across the board. I'm going to defer that to you. You get more messages. You're way more popular than I am.
Oh, I don't think so. No, you do. No, I don't. You can't prove it. You haven't seen shit. Do I personally go, Oh my gosh, someone. So just text me. You want to hear what I said? Yeah, no, I don't do that. No. Um, is my phone open? Do you know the passwords and everything else to go looking at it? Absolutely. You. Yeah, absolutely. I have nothing to hide. Do you want to look at it? Look at it. Right, right. Am I going to go out of my way to tell you about it? Or, you know. Unless it was funny. Unless it was something good or I thought you should know about it.
That's the only time you're going to hear about it. Well, and that's the way I'm with you. I mean on the phone that you know about.
The one I keep in the car is totally different i'm just kidding no i no we we know each other's passwords we sit here and 90 percent of the time we're communicating with people we're like sitting next to each other when we're texting people so i mean that in and of itself is is like a big non a non-issue i think that when you start hiding stuff which which in our world okay for our communication it doesn't have to be hey guess what i just got a text from this person we're not like that we're past that point in our relationship so it but especially when you're new.
There is nothing looks more guilty than when you hide the fact that you communicated with somebody. When you hide the fact that you texted somebody or that somebody was texting you. Instantly, it just looks guilty. And again, if you're comfortable with the fact that, hey, I get text messages. And of course, we're a little bit different story with the page and with the podcast and whatever else do. I do get a ton of day. You get a lot. You get a lot of text messages today. Instant messages. You get a lot of instant. Well, fuck you. You get a lot of instant messages. I do not.
We put a fucking post on the page today that fucking asks how many people jack off thinking about me versus you, Miss Amanda. And I believe that at the last count, it was like 27 to 3, your favorite. And most of those fucking guys text you. No, they don't. No. They do not. I was trying to prove a point that there's girls that think about you too. Jesus. I lost it. I was trying to prove a point that there's girls that think about you too. Jesus. I lost it. I'm sorry. God. Okay, so you don't get a ton, but you do get some. Do you want to see?
I look through your phone when you go to the bathroom. It's all good.
The thing is, actually, we generally do tell each other, even when it's oh hey by the way i got a text from whatever hey i got a private message from whoever i mean i do i mean i don't know if it's like stupid page crap that nobody cares about well even then i do generally i mean you do too i eventually hear about it yeah the thing is is that yes you need to have transparency it's not that you have to that you have to show every single person that every text but it's more just knowing it's just acknowledgement that it's going on yeah at least for us i mean every couple is different look i know there are some couples that when they play alone when they come home the other the other significant other doesn't want to know a fucking thing they're gonna ask did you have fun yes or no that's all i want to know that's it for me if you play alone i want details play by play and i didn't undid the shirt button and then the shirt button the shirt, and then we had dinner.
Oh, wait, that's a date. Sorry, my bad. Anyway, so the different topic. But, you know, I want play-by-play. You're kind of in the middle. I mean, you've been that way with me. There's times I want plays-by-plays, but there's times. Yeah, it just kind of hurts.
So for us, it's not not a big deal so if you're a couple that that part of your kink is that you don't know anything about you don't want to know anything about it that's fine as long as that is predetermined by you together see here's the overall thing and this is the theme i think of the show is like really when you're talking about couples obviously if you're a single single female single male none of this fucking applies to you because you're single you don't have to answer anybody let your pets know what you're doing hey fido i'm gonna go fuck a girl talk to you later okay nobody okay you don't have that but for couples out there or people that are playing as couples, because motherfucker, I don't care if you've got a ring on it or not.
If you're playing as a couple, couple rules apply. The thing is that you have to take and everything has to be decided ahead of time. It's a mutual communication sort of situation. The reality of it is that we have helicopters.
The reality of is is that uh if if you know something and i don't know it you know how i'm gonna react you know that if you don't if you leave out a pertinent piece and everybody's like hey i went to lunch today and i happened to see blah at lunch and i sucked his dick and you don't tell me now that hasn't happened i don't think and you don't tell me that okay and i find out like later when they come to tell me thank you that you know that all of a sudden they go hey by the way thanks for letting me you know get my dick sucked at lunch i'm probably gonna lose my shit right just like you would like i know that if all of a sudden i was like you know hey went to homeaha to help with a doctor's appointment by the way i fucked a girl and i didn't tell you you found later you're gonna lose your shit right so you know how this shit works as a couple you know what are the things that are going to that your partner is going to feel are a violation of trust so you have to establish it ahead of time if you make the assumption well they should be okay with it well no that's being selfish there there is no being okay you can't assume to be okay with anything you need to communicate it once it's laid out there and the ground rules are laid out there do you think it's the responsibility like you know a state of the year that every so often i have to come back and go so you okay with all the rules or should we change anything no they just change as you go they change as you go i agree sometimes it's by things that happen and you go um no i'm not okay with that hey next time you're gonna suck dick at lunch let me know they got nowhere hey next time i'm gonna go i'm off her doctor's appointment you're gonna get laid let me know yeah no i mean most of it's it doesn't have to be a constant like you know Boop, with the rule that was set up if you if we had a rule that every time i went to omar to help with a doctor's appointment i could go have sex with somebody, we can put that rule in at any point in time if you want to.
I'm kind of waiting for a pause there. Thuner out there. Fishing. Checking. Okay. But if we had that rule and you were getting to feel like that I was sure had to help with a lot of doctor's appointments. Motherfucker, you know a lot of sick people.
uh and you feel uncomfortable with it i believe it's your responsibility then to say cole oh we got to talk about this this isn't okay anymore and and not just let it fester to the point of then all of a sudden one day you're just like you're not sick motherfucker quit going home or you know i mean and the same with me we have a responsibility to be adult it's hard to say that sometimes it's lifestyle be adult and communicate that hey we're starting to feel uncomfortable with a certain role it's the same with communication if you start to feel look at any point in time if you come to me and you say, hey, I really want to look at your phone.
I know, you know, yeah, you told me you've been texting this person, but I want to see the text. I should not have a problem handing you the phone. No. Because if I have a problem handing you the phone, why? Why do I have a problem handing you the phone?
you know but I also think that you you or I in the role reversal you know but i also think that you you or i in the role reversal you know i cracked a joke earlier about don't worry i look at your phone when you go to the bathroom okay i don't i've got another phone for that no just kidding i know but i but i just say you have access to my facebook constantly i do wait what oh shut up but i but i think by the same token if if if one partner's sneaking around to try to find i mean that's like breaking the rules if the rules you're okay with how that is with communication and then i'm sneaking around trying to break that or i'm trying to sneak around to find that without just asking you that's the equivalent of me breaking the rules do you think i mean you've got this look on your face like like i would be i mean isn't it kind of shouldn't we be able to just say hey yeah you've been texting her all i want what's going on yeah no i was thinking about no i have another thought going into my head because we know a couple that he would always run off and play and it would make her mad and it took several years before we went um i think they do that on purpose that was their kink that was their kink yeah that their kink.
It was like they wanted to get around to make up sex. Yeah. It took a while to figure that out. And it's just like, why? Every time we're around you, it has the same old flipping drama. Does he not catch on? Well, because the thing was, part of it, the problem was they were including us in their kink. Yeah. Without telling us. I was not okay with that. Well, because they're saying every time they would set up. Well, no, he wasn't having sex with me.
No, but they wouldn't no and nor i but they would set up every time oh we want to you know all of a sudden she would start contacting me we want to hook up and and would set it up every time so it looked like the four of us were going to hook up and then every time the same thing happened it was like wait a minute and and here's the thing kids again you know what we don't kink shame whatever is cool uh and whatever you're into whatever your rules are when you include innocent people gosh at least let them know yeah you have it look you don't have a right to fuck up my night okay and three different times you know because they were in a track code that was going to be a win-win you do not have the right to fuck up our night because it gets you off okay now without telling you need to allow us the option to know whether or not we want to play your your little reindeer games or not just just saying okay so all right so we're both in agreement that that transparency in the transparency in communication in terms of predetermined levels is is what we what we vote for like a game show and survey says pretty much well i mean the thing is again as long as if you have it predetermined that here's the deal you're not looking at my fucking phone that's between me and whoever and vice versa and we're okay with that before it starts then no worries but you you have to have that has to be a very clear a very clear definition of that and and there needs to be a thing here's part of it swinging is supposed to be fun and as a couple whether you swing alone whether you guys play alone whether you play as a couple however you play it's still supposed to be a thing.
Here's part of it. Swinging is supposed to be fun. And as a couple, whether you swing alone, whether you guys play alone, whether you play as a couple, however you play, it's still supposed to be fun. And as a couple or as someone that snive together, part of the fun is sharing in that. Even if you're playing, you guys play alone, there's still supposed to be a thing of sharing and enjoyment out of that. So if somebody feels like somebody else is either taking advantage of the rules, abusing the rules, or lying about the rules, then that's not fun. And at that point in time, that becomes crap.
I hope that answered that question. It kind of did. Well, we share a lot of opinions, don't we? You're opinionated. I'm talking about a son of a bitch. That's part of the rule. And understand, again, that's just what these are. These are our opinions, right? But the one thing I don't think you'll ever go wrong with, I feel 100% confident saying is communication, proper communication will never lead to bad things. Proper communication. I was going to say, the other person has to respond by listening. It's a given. Both sides have to compromise.
You have to compromise, and you have to keep asking until you know, until you're 100% sure that you both understand. That can be tricky on the communication because a lot of times you don't have control. You don't have control if some stalker is that person or creeper is texting you every morning. Good morning, love you. You don't have control over that.
I don't have control if somebody is texting me you know every day with you know what outfit outfit should i wear to work or whatever we we don't have control over that we can't you know there's limits you know you can block it on facebook but you can't change your phone number every time something happens or whatever so there's a degree of having to be understanding with your significant other when it comes to that because, again, it's not something that we can tell people to please stop. We can tell people a million times, but it doesn't mean it will. And you don't have control over it.
So remember, you can't get all bent out of shape if all of a sudden your significant other is getting dick pics and she's not asking for them, but she's dick pics you can't be pissed or going what do you have all these dick pics because dudes are needy and they send them i mean it is what it is you have some girls that send you just the same well right exactly and that's insane vice versa you can't be pissed if there's boot pics or cooter pictures on my phone because they send because we don't necessarily we don't ask for them it just happens so you have to be understanding you have to work with that okay so this leads right into the to the the great part of the question a great question this is from d uh at what point does something become cheating that with that look you've got to have something you want to say there Are we having a rules review after this podcast?
That's slippery Yeah It is slippery It depends on your rules it depends on yeah it depends on your rules it that's going to be a case-by-case situation to a large degree yeah i mean okay so there's a crazy factor that gets involved with the whole thing too right you're like okay i'm gonna let you hang yourself on where are you no Thank you.
crazy factor that gets involved with the whole thing too right you're like okay i'm gonna let you hang yourself on where are you no no no no well there is it's like okay obviously it depends on how you're playing if you're playing as a if you're playing as a couple if you're playing alone i mean okay you hear horror stories we've heard horror stories seen them whatever where you have two couples they play together all the time uh they're good friends blah and all of a sudden either the guy or the gal out of that couple contacts the significant other accordingly and it's like hey i really want to play this up but i don't want anybody else to know or you know and then all of a sudden it's like, well, we're friends, so it's okay, so, and it starts to go into a gray area.
I mean, we've seen and heard those type of things happening. We've seen and heard.
It's very easy to all of a sudden, if you're not careful, get emotional attachment I mean that becomes that becomes a dangerous game feel free you can interject wherever you want to on that one no when been there when emotions get involved and you're not okay with it yeah that happens but you also listen when i said you need to uh cool it yes and that and here's what you're doing do you see this this is what she's doing do you see this yes and and that obviously that leads to a personal story weird uh yes so when we were when we were we were still pretty new in in the lifestyle uh i'd say We'd probably, I don't know, we were probably been in it a little over a year, right around there.
And we had our first threesome with another chick. And it was a gal that I worked with.
So the challenge was, is that the gal that I worked with was substantially younger than we were and what she wanted out of the what she wanted out of out of the whole situation was completely different from what we wanted out of the situation so what she wanted was she was jealous she wanted to have she wished she'd had a husband and all these different different things like like what miss amanda had so the problem became was that you know obviously this is my first experience with uh having a threesome and it was it was fucking awesome is what it was it was awesome but in in besides just being awesome it was also very easy to to get butterflied and to to not see that that she was actually uh shooting for something totally different she was manipulating the situation she was manipulating the friendship uh with She was manipulating me, and there started to be emotions going there.
And I didn't even see them coming at all. So that was a damn scary thing. That was a damn scary thing. Because when you finally brought it to my attention, it was like, oh, wait a minute. And so we vowed that that would never happen again. But that's part of the learning curve. So was it cheating? No. No, it never got to that point. But it can happen to anybody. I mean, we have always had a super strong marriage. And not everybody has the same intentions and shit.
So that starts to become a real greyer.er and you have to watch and you have to trust in your spouse you have to a number one you have a responsibility to trust that your spouse is not cheating on you for first part but you have to trust when your spouse comes to you and goes hey wait a minute i'm starting to see things that are not not right you know you're you. You're altering your behavior. You have a responsibility to listen to that. Because what starts off as innocent fun and enjoyment can very quickly and very easily cross that line into cheating.
Now, I'll put a fucking asterisk behind this shit.
See, I love telling that personal story and this is where cole was a complete and total tool uh anyways so it happens but we we were we weren't knew it was the first time we'd experienced anything like that yeah yeah and you know what there's gonna be a million of course we're going to want to know what all those looks are for uh the thing is is that and you know what there's gonna be a million follow-up questions we're gonna want to know what all those looks are for uh the thing is is that i lost my train of thought actually that's kind of weird it well i know what i was going so every situation is different and it starts with who you're playing with okay everybody's definition of cheating is different very much so very.
Very much so. Yeah, completely different. So, one, you better be on the same fucking page as that shit. Because that's really important. And you better, this is where, okay, here's the deal. If your spouse is not comfortable, not comfortable with you playing with somebody. Okay, every couple usually has the no-fly list. The absolute unequivocal no. If you break that rule, that's fucking cheating in my opinion. That is straight up cheating.
If you know that if you, as a guy, you go stick your dick in that girl and your significant others always told you, don't touch that bitch, that is straight up cheating. Yeah. There's no way around that. Okay. My thing, I would take it a step further. Now, is if you have somebody that is the iffy list, because we all got the iffy list Admit it Admit it No, no, don't even Sit all fucking quiet We all have the iffy list You have a list of girls Just like I have a list of guys That I'm like Yeah, exactly And maybe Okay, maybe those people Will eventually make it on the Go have fun list.
Maybe it's because, you know, you got to get to know her better. I got to get to know him better. Or we need to play as a couple first or whatever the case may be. If they're on the iffy list, iffy list leads to feeling like cheating. Can pretty damn quick. It can. It just depends.
It means you have some sort of reservation yeah so if you have a reservation if there's a specific girl and you have a reservation about that person and conveniently enough the only time i'm around that person is when you're not there how convenient and look our mind wanders right i mean it's gonna be the it it's gonna be the same thing if there's a guy that the only time he's talking to you is when i'm conveniently not there or when i'm tied you know tied not tied up when i'm when i'm you know preoccupied right it's ought to get automatically going to lead to suspicion and here becomes the challenge.
When something is suspicious, again, it goes back to communication, but it goes back to effective communication, right? Because I know that that's an area where I sometimes fail, is that I have a message that I want to get out, but my delivery might be a scotch off, just a little bit off. So if it's somebody that's iffy, I'm more apt to go, instead of going, hey, we need to talk about this. I'm more apt to go, what the fuck? How come every fucking time I'm gone, that's when the sun is inside you? Motherfucker's coming right around. Right?
Okay, so at which point point in time your response is going to be what the fuck don't you fucking trust me jesus christ you think i do that okay and then it goes from a discussion to all hell breaks loose then people end up on the no fly list you know and it's probably not justified but if you know that someone is in that iffy category, that iffy list, me personally, I would say if you're communicating with that person, you make sure your significant other sees everything that's being communicated back and forth. I would personally say, Hey, you know what? I've got to go to this function.
I got to go to a doctor's appointment? I've got to go to this function. I got to go to a doctor's appointment. This person wants to go to lunch. Are you okay with that? You know, and then when you leave lunch, you need to text your neighbor and say, hey, we're done with lunch.
It's keeping, if you keep your significant other in the loop all the way around on that type of a situation, you're going to avoid a whole lot of misunderstandings about what is or is not cheating because once the suspicion of cheating once that goes into the human mind i don't care if you're a guy i don't care if you're a woman it doesn't matter once you get that little that little itch scratching the back of your brain going they're Fucking around on the side, what the fuck, it is. Your mind's going to play games. Yeah, and it's damn near impossible to get rid of.
I mean, it takes a long, long time to actually take and approach it from a more rational look and to actually understand and actually take a look at it and to see now you're agreeing a lot with me that's why i'm glad we have these things on tape so okay so with that being said again remember here's the deal none of us can read fucking minds no although you're very close dear that's kind of the bond we have okay none of us can actually read minds so if you have a problem with someone that you're sitting with another is chatting with or you have a gut feel or if you have a random hair up your ass it doesn't matter if you don't communicate that to your significant other they're not going to know and then what happens is it's going to fester and remember that big ugly pus sore that we talked about earlier guess what that motherfucker is 20 times bigger now okay and and it becomes a huge soupy swampy mess okay it is it is what it is well that's what when you start talking cheating that's what it is at that point in time when somebody thinks that they're being cheated on their brain becomes complete swamp mess of anger hatred and fire and uh yeah i mean it just it it is it is what it is so if you want that faster okay you do not have a right to not say anything for fucking three weeks or four weeks as this little you know torrid setup getting horny to go fucking hook up or whatever is headed towards that screaming down the rails to that point and then right before it happened go you motherfucker and lose your shit and go i haven't agreed with this since the very beginning what the fuck why did you not know why didn't i know because you did not tell me now we've been fortunate we haven't had that no i mean we we haven't we haven't had that so you know and we'll always keep it that way again just keep reading my mind good that so you know and we'll always keep it that way again just keep reading my mind all right and remember all we want to do is stay out of that swampy soupy mess all right everybody well i'll tell you what we are coming to the close uh of another one of our shows we are so excited to have you listen and uh want to take a quick second here to, again, thank our sponsors for the show.
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