Send us Fan MailThis week we talk about the communications after the hook up. We have all dealt with it or will, how does the conversation go after the weeks of excited flirting, to we have done it now what. Many feelings can be hurt when the heat cools down after the full swap, or soft swap, or playing along or just playing. The Swingers lifestyle can get real confusing real fast. We also hit on Social anxiety in the lifestyle, both for a member of a couple or a single. How do you over come it? How do you avoid a situation. Give it us a listen to learn more.Check out all our shows at: http://www.buzzsprout.com/181336Visit us at: http://www.krazykasbh.comfollow us on twitter @TruthKrazySubscribe to our YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/kasbhSend us an email at [email protected] Support the show
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with most, I am Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and didn't get a nap, Miss Amanda. Hey. Like I always get a nap or something. No, but a lot of times you get a nap, but the kids are over and didn't get a nap. I was falling asleep at one point. And this is Season 2, Episode 79. Not as much fun as 69, but it means you're moving on to the next great thing. Speaker2: Anywho, we are ready to roll. We got all kinds of shit going on. Speaker3: You know that? Speaker2: Do we? Speaker1: This is weird. My chaos of a studio is not near as chaotic since we have taken and now got my office more set up. Of course, my office is a complete and total fucking disaster. Speaker4: Actually, it looks pretty decent. Speaker1: There is a couch there. If you can find it. You still have paper strewed around here. I have paper strewed in multiple rooms in an organized, chaotic fashion. Just saying. Hey, so before we get on the road today, before we get moving into the show, so to speak, a couple of cool things. Number one, hey, do not forget, please, we're sponsored by ourselves. Actually, we've got a couple of sponsors. But anyways, so if you've not gotten a chance, get your Crazy Casbah merchandise and your Crazy Casbah panties, shirts, boy shorts, stickers, you name it. Visit us at CrazyKazba, www.CrazyKazba.com. Get yours today. Sign up. You can have those, and you can also find links to our Crazy Winter Nights, and you can find out more about us and about the start of the page. Hey, Travis. So, yeah, we're pretty damn excited about that. So make sure you get those things. Our patches, Crazy Truth patches or Crazy Casper patches are on there. So buy your merch from there. Number two, if you're a Twitter, if you have Twitter, then please follow us at Truth Crazy. Just saying. So that's the first part of what we're going to talk about. And, hey, for those of you who do not know, you noticed I just shouted out to somebody. We are live. We always record our shows live on our secret, secret Facebook page, Crazy Casbahs. Crazy Casbah. What the fuck? I know. I'm making shit up as I go. It's only been that way for three years. Let's add another episode. Fucking Christ. Anyway, so we are ready. We are ready to rock and roll and see what we can come up with here today. All night? All night. Party every day is what we'd fucking do. Oh, you know what? First I'm going to do, though. Shit, shit, fuck shit, son of a bitch. Uh, because we did have the children over the house all fucking day today. They just came dropping in like fucking flies. It's like one will leave and the next one and then fucking, I was like, yay. Anyways, yay anyways so we went out last night with some friends of ours and had a nice lovely evening they cooked dinner for us
Speaker4:
it's good
Speaker1:
it was good and it was Troy and Don God's honest truth all of a sudden I was like what the fuck's their name again
Speaker4:
I didn't know why you were pausing
Speaker1:
no I didn't get drunk anyways so we had a great time thank you very much Troy and Don for inviting us over I don't know.
Speaker2:
I don't know. I don't know. I don't again? I didn't know why you were pausing. No, I didn't get drunk.
Speaker1:
Anyway, so we had a great time. Thank you very much, Troy and Dunn, for inviting us over. Thank you for cooking for us. It was good food, good time, good friends. And now they gave me, and I don't have this up yet in the studio. This is going up because I didn't get a chance to do it. This is one of, they make, well, Troy makes paddles. So he's going to be at the big Crazy Winter Nights party event extraordinaire and they're gonna have a booth there and uh so they gave us the paddle you see behind me there is one he made especially for us they are a strong arm supply company is named and they gave me a cool uh vehicle they gave me two actually decals one for that you put on stickers, one for the car, and then they gave me one that we're going to put up here in the studio, and I apologize, I did not get that done in time, so the next time you see us live, this will be part of our collection. I have to figure out how I have to stick it on there. Yeah, exactly. But thank you very much, we sincerely appreciate that, it's always very nice when people cook for us and whatever. So we appreciate that. All right. So look at me giving shout outs all over the place. We got all kinds of cool stuff going on. You know that? It's been a good week this week. We're making new friends from North Carolina. One of our people that are going to be at Crazy Winter Nights. I think i think stripperclothing.com and they seem really really cool sassy assy no that's one of their yeah sassy assy dresses club wear club wear but theirs is also the stripper or yeah stripper stuff but it's sexy outfit it's damn cool we're gonna have them on the page here and not too short of an order and hey another super super exciting thing a big shout out we're super excited our good friends at sls uh sls.com and sls radio uh they are uh going to be at crazy winter nights so our good our good buddy uh rick is going to be there they're going to be recording they're going to be going live from the rate both the website and the radio station is going to be at Crazy Winter Nights. They're going to be going live at different times during the event throughout the whole weekend and doing interviews and all kinds of shit. So thank you very much. We are super jazzed out there. They get thousands of requests to come to thousands of parties every year. And so the fact, but they obviously can't go to thousands of parties every year. So, you know, the fact that we were, that they said, hey, yeah, well, let's come to Nebraska in January. Fuck yeah, you know it's a party now, bitches. Woo-woo. So we're ready to roll. There you go. Okay. God, that's, I'm already tired. Well, great show, folks. Thanks for playing. We got to go. No, so we probably should get on with the show, right? So, okay, I have to say this, though, first or second or third or whatever number I'm on now. I have no idea. 12th. I'm not keeping track. Good day and welcome to day 12. This is too hard for us, man. Okay, so anywho, so a key to remember with our show is if you notice notice, it's the lovely Miss Amanda, Cole, the host of the most, notice there's no initials after our names, such as doctor, or that'd be before our names. There's no like doctor, or there's no PhDs or anything like that after our names. Okay? So the reason why I point that out is we are very, very honored and flattered of the fact fact we have people come and ask us questions all the time to get our advice on all kinds of different things uh from the lifestyle and beyond but again we always want to stress hey look we are not medical or psychology doctors nor do we play play them on tv uh these are our opinions if you don't like our opinion suck my dick i'm just kidding uh, if you don't like our opinions, whatever, but they are just opinions. Right. Okay. All right. Swoo. Can't sue us now, motherfuckers. Woo. Okay. So let's move on. Shall we? Are you going to say anything this episode? Well, I'm trying to debate if I have to. We're like 10 minutes in and I'm fucking, I haven't heard you except, yeah. Yeah. Manamana. It's because you you talk a lot i don't know what you're talking about all right so let's get going so the first question uh comes to us from walla walla washington and uh it does okay you're looking at me like there's no fucking there's no fucking way my brain is slow right now. We got people giving us shout outs from where they're at today, too. Hey, Eric. What up? Okay, so it comes to us from Walla Walla, Washington. It came to us via Anonymous. I'm hoping over the Christmas holidays we'll get letters from Santa. Letters to Santa. Ho. Anyways, what do you want? Fucking hot blonde that's married to somebody else. Anyways, okay, so this letter, and this is kind of an interesting one, and this is one that I think happens a lot, and that's why I'm excited to tackle and take on this issue. So now I'm going to think about his hot blonde.
Speaker4:
Isn't that a drink?
Speaker1:
Oh, fuck.
Speaker4:
Talk to you next week. this the uh the uh i know i'm thinking about his hot blonde isn't that a drink oh fuck told drink water okay so the um that it wasn't so much of a question okay okay what what the the person wrote in and the anonymous wrote in was the fact that they said they wanted us to talk about the fact to make sure that we're careful what we say to people after an initial hookup okay okay so and i'm like okay well that's kind of vague what you know what i mean i need you know so i got i got back to them they were very hesitant it took all week to get back to get the information because They're they're being very very vague and i can appreciate that what it boiled down to was it wasn't so much what was said right after the hookup it was what it was what was and was not said over the next couple of days couple of weeks so it was like a two, two and a half week time period there. What was and what was not said. Okay. Okay. And so here's kind of the overall scenario. So this person had a hookup and of course they had the pre-hookup jizz, which we all know about, right? You know, you're getting ready to- The flirting almost a daily thing you know and it's just like because everybody's excited and that shit just ramps up the closer it gets to the closer penetration becomes the more exciting that everybody gets and and so and that's what happened right and then yes there's going to be the initial, you know, the post just let down. It's not a let down, but it's like, okay, you know, you've been there. You've hit the promised land, and so now you kind of go back to a normal life. It's almost like we go from being, like like giddy teenagers to back to our adult selves okay you know you know what i'm saying a little bit right i kind of sort of maybe ish okay so the problem with that is though and and this happens a lot we've heard this a lot not only does the communication change the type of communication changes the volume of the communication changes and then people start reading how they read into the communication changes okay and so what basically happened was there was kind of a concept of they had talked about how this was going to go and what kind of the rules they did a great job communicating what the rules were with this that wasn't just a one and done sort of thing okay but what happens so many times is we don't communicate how we're going to deal with the uh the aftermath how how are we going to do it moving forward from there because well we're just excited about you know the basic shit and the problem is what started to happen was people started to get paranoid okay people started to get busy people started to get get all those things so you were having uh hey we got someone from dallas texas hey y'all uh so you had people you had you had no one wants to be too clutchy no one wants to be too overly aggressive and i think i believe that there's a degree of kind of like an awkwardness of how to deal with that i mean yes we're all adults nobody was adult about it but it's kind of like you're not going to go back to flirting like the school the school girl and school boy type thing does that make sense ish okay explain your ish dear ish ish um sometimes there's still if it was like this chemical attraction so to speak where it was so hot you're thinking about it days and it makes you hot it makes you wet thinking about it for days afterwards because it was such a hot experience right right with that being said you know you can keep that going and teasing a little bit more right granted have i actually had that happen i don't know not that i can recall it doesn't mean it didn't i mean i've had some people go oh did you really like that oh i guess i should have asked this and i should going, okay, I would have stopped you if it wasn't something I agreed with, for one.
Speaker1:
Right, right.
Speaker4:
But, you know, and some people...
Speaker1:
So, but here's the thing, you're sitting here right now, and you've never really had it
Speaker2:
happen. Uh-uh.
Speaker1:
Not memorable enough to stick with you.
Speaker4:
I didn't have massive communication afterwards.
Speaker1:
Okay, but let me ask you this.
Speaker4:
Have you ever not had massive communication afterwards, and had second guesses about how the other person felt well of course and then and that there be in light you have insecure well it depends because you shouldn't expect it depends on how you view swinging swinging right and what the expectations were if you were looking for a friend with benefits to have all the time or if you were just looking for a one-and-done hookup it that all depends because if it's a one-and-done hookup well you really don't expect to hear from them if you do hey great oh it's so awesome we have such a great time right okay yeah you know type of thing so in this situation it was kind of the expectation was that there was going to be more involved there's going to be more activity down the road then yes i would be i would be very self-conscious that maybe they didn't enjoy themselves or it wasn't and it wasn't what they were expecting and and well and that and that's where it came into the problem, is that what happened is, is that... Was I not good enough?
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
Basically, it became a mindfuck. And it wasn't meant to be. And that's the thing. Nobody, that was not the intention. But you had a situation where when you have people, according to Anonymous, neither of the people are what what you called super players you know okay they're they're this is not something they they you know they're not like on the prowl most of the time and that kind of stuff so they're not super players so the thing was is that it went from mega flirty mega fucking to instant normal day-to-day and it created confusion okay because it's it all sudden one side's going was i not good enough did i should i never should i never have you know did did the other person lie to me there's instantly questions of lying because it was like it's such an abrupt thing and night okay let me preface it with this 99 of this shit in the lifestyle i don't care who the fuck you are when you start when shit gets all twisted and fucked 99 of this bullshit you think in your own head okay most of the time people are not trying to ghost you most of the time people are not trying to fucking are not lying and trying to screw you over but it doesn't matter your perception is your reality okay and you start to get mind fucked on that uh big time and so you start to get twisted on whether or not you know what's real how do you really feel and you start the the problem in the modern world of electronic communication is you don't know how something's written until you read into it okay now when i talked to anonymous more and and the challenge became when you have inexperience and not mega players their mind really tend to race all over the place and and it really what it broke down to be was a total miss just a misunderstanding and everything's good but what they wanted to convey was to remember think about how think about how the other person might perceive that complete change or that difference in communication. We have had that similarly happen. If you remember the very first couple that we met with, we didn't play with them. She was busy chasing crickets, and they were acting terrified. That was the second couple. They were terrified. That was the second couple. The first couple was the one where she ripped my dick off like a lawnmower. They were the second couple. Okay, the second couple. We thought they were going to be the first normal couple. We were wrong. Yeah. Well, leading up to it, you and her were flirting like crazy. We weren't flirting. We were sexting. Yes. It was hot and munching. and me and the guy we were just kind of just having a typical conversation because i suck at doing that but we met with them and then we're like all right we've had enough it's time to go home we went home put the car in the ditch but that's that's beside That wasn't my fault. I didn't hear from him for over a week. No. So I'm just like, well, I guess I must have been his type. But he could have told me that. But no, but she got a hold of me. I'm sorry. Were you guys interested? No, fucking bitch. We weren't. We just sent two weeks texting what you were going to do to my dick and what I was going to do to your pussy. And that was all just made up. Fucking but that was the right i was broken but so we couldn't do anything anyway but you could have and that wasn't trust me that was not the reason anything stopped but no it wasn't the reality of it is is that we all do it it's the challenge we have in this lifestyle is how to deal with the aftermath it really is look it's not cheating obviously we understand that but there's a degree of cheating it's almost like cheating it's almost like it's almost like we you know everybody fucks and everybody has fun and then we give each other big hugs and have a safe trip and whatever and then it's like okay how do we go from here so the next time you see him do you are you know is it gonna be hot is it gonna be is it gonna be nothing is it gonna be what's it nobody knows there's a sense of unknown with it and and my big thing is is that if depending if look if it's just a one and done thing you know i'm gonna give you a hug patch on the ass tell you it was great we're gonna have a good time and you know don't let the door hit you on the way out rock on that's if that's what the original setup was right i'm okay with that sweet if it's something more than that or the plan is it for it to be more than that communication is a key and and even if it it's not ever going to be the same as as like you know just fucking goo goo eyes bullshit because now it's not brand new okay but it still needs to be more than just like you've been doing this for 20 years right you know what i mean and that's the key and i mean anonymous makes a great point with that you've got to let people know you have again i as god is my fucking witness i swear swear we say this all the time. Communication. Okay? That's what we can see. Now, I want to put a sub-note in with this, though. Okay? This is where Cole starts going on a little bit of a rant. Just as coach. I know that's so fucking unusual. Cole going on a rant, right? Okay, here's the deal. Yeah, and we wonder why I can't get a word in it twice. Would you like to go on a i'll be quiet now no okay all right boys and girls every man woman and child that's listening to our show hopefully no children they're 18 if they got daddy issues whatever anyway no yeah no kids anyways everybody listening to our show understand the words i'm about to say and i know other podcasts don't do this because you know they don't talk about this kind of shit because it's kind of hard to talk about this shit when you're reveling in your latest conquest but anyways for those that are actually trying to make a difference in the world uh here's the deal don't let your fucking mind play trick on you seriously and and i'm saying that now i'm saying this message to all you listening i'm saying it to myself as well okay we all have to do this for whatever reason we we get our junk wet and then we become fucking morons this is what happens it's like through my penis out goes my brain you know if you squirt you just squirted your brains out whatever the case may be okay no look all of a sudden there's not 17 meanings to every word that's said to you by the other person there's not a million different meanings by silence there's not okay and the thing is is every single one of us have done it i've done it i have done it i did it with a with a girl that we were in it ended up being in a uh what's that poly situation with after the first time after the first time we fucked her totally you know there was some text back and forth that all of a sudden i'm like oh fuck did i fuck this up up what's you know allowed myself to just totally become a complete and blubbering idiot okay don't do that don't mind fuck yourself any more than necessary if we're mature enough to sticketh thy dicketh in another person or to receive thy dicketh of another person then you know what fucking ask him if you're not sure ask him seriously that's that's the best way to do it it's not easy and look i again i'm saying this to everybody else but it's i'm right there i'm the first one you put me you put me from the like you go to bed about 10 39 right i do so you know ladies sneak up to the door then no i'm just kidding okay you go to bed about 10 sneak no shit i might even stay up and listen join in at 10 39 you go to bed you leave me from 10 30 to 11 45 and my brain can conjure up all kinds of stupid shit i mean I can just totally run rampant on just fucking stupid shit. So don't give in and do that. Say, hi, hey, Gene, hey, Leah, hey, how's everybody doing? Woo-woo. But don't do that to yourselves. That's the biggest thing, seriously. We mindfuck ourselves more times than not. Because I'm a Gemini. Yes, you are. We're known for overthinking. Wait, what? I know. It's funny, but we're known for overthinking. I did not even know that every woman in the world was a Gemini. Oh, my God. That is so totally. See, I learned something right now. No,think bad yes we do and and uh my mind will
Speaker4:
just sit there and just overplay and play the same scenario over and every different outcome every single time you're like fucking marvel in the end game there's only one solution maybe it meant this well it could have meant this well huh i wonder well and i'm totally gone.
Speaker2:
By the way, Leah, I completely agree with you.
Speaker1:
This is where I love that we have the page going.
Speaker2:
Leah, who's part of our secret Facebook group, because they're watching it live, says, Amanda, your cleavage looks amazing tonight,
Speaker4:
and I agree 100%. That's thanks to a female named store
Speaker1:
that has these push-up bras. It's Victoria's Secrets. They won't fucking sponsor us, but we'll still help them. They're going out of business anyways. You know what really looks amazing? They better not because they're the only one that carry my size. You know what really looks amazing? What? When a dick's in between them. Just saying. I'm not out there. So if anybody wants to volunteer for that duty, let us know. Somebody's got to take pictures. Yeah. Okay. So there you go. So I hope that kind of i you know i i appreciate anonymous's warning because i think it is important to get out there and i think it is important for people to know and and i i think we all need to do a better job again i'm gonna harp this shit till the day i fucking die in this lifestyle people still need to do better communicating they just have to okay it just fucking it is well but there's those people still need to do better at communicating. They just have to.
Speaker2:
Okay?
Speaker1:
It just fucking, it is what it is.
Speaker4:
Well, but there's those people that want to be liked and don't want to hurt people's feelings. And so they might tend to. I wouldn't say lie, but bend it or avoid.
Speaker1:
You're going to be nice.
Speaker2:
Yes.
Speaker1:
Well, and I, okay, here's a lie to say this. to get me to be brutal you got to piss me off a lot now once you piss me off then i'm gonna tell you a fucking pound sand i don't give a fuck oh hi that's your mother and grandmother that's great by the way you're a douchebag and hey then i won't care but i mean you know if you know i'm not gonna go to one guy and go oh my god the way you just talk to her while you're fucking me, I can't stand that. Please quit saying, oh, honey, oh, honey, you like it? Oh, honey, pay attention to me, not her. I mean, you can pay attention to her, but am I just like this object there? You're not auditioning for a porn tape. Shut the fuck up. Not everybody gets into all that. Well, you would have got it from the dirty talk if they didn't have a small penis. Not a small penis, but if it was worth a shit. Yeah, it's okay. All right, but it could have been focused more on his own activities. Yes. Are you going to do this? I don't know what I'm going to do. Fucking shut up and fuck me. We'll figure it out. Duh. Jesus Christ. Okay. How are we doing on time? Where are we at? You're at 26 minutes already. Are you fucking kidding me? We talk a lot. Jesus Christ. We need to get a fucking, we need to fucking get, yeah. Okay. Hey, so Eric actually makes a good point though. Good advice, but also quit ghosting. You know what? Hey, that's absolutely true, by the way. If you're not interested in someone, just to quick throw this in. If you're not interested in somebody after the fact or whatever, be honest. Just be honest. Don't just disappear. Don't just, like, run away. Ooh, no, I'm never. Because you're going to run into their ass again somewhere. And trust me, you don't want the reputation of somebody that ghosts people. Just saying. Ghosting in terms of meeting up again or communication? Communication of any kind. Don't just fuck them and then, you know. No, even the most disappointing hookup, I still chatted with them afterwards. Will I give them another chance? Probably not. No, but there's still a common, there's a common courtesy thing that goes with it you know i mean that that's just it there's a common courtesy we're adults again and he's not on the page so don't take that offensive to anybody yeah you know but i mean seriously yeah it is what it is okay uh all right So, so that's almost, so fuck 26 minutes. That's like, um, half time.
Speaker2:
Motherfuck.
Speaker1:
Okay. All right. So that's almost, so fuck, 26 minutes. That's like a half-time. Motherfuck. Okay. It's at 27 now, so you're at halftime, buddy boy. Fuck. Okay, so we got two different things to cover at halftime today. Halftime. The first thing is, hey, you know what? We are. I need signs. No shit. We need ring girls. You can like them and I can like them. Yay. There him yay um we have been honored to have been nominated for and the asn magazine uh asn lifestyle magazine uh we have been nominated in a couple of different categories for some uh awards so we've actually been nominated our crazy truth that show you're listening to right to right now, the Crazy Truth has been nominated to our podcast in the media, sexiest media category. And Crazy Winter Nights last year, 2019, was actually nominated for Best Theme Party. And then Crazy Casbah, our organization, we've been nominated as leaders in the community and trying to do things to change the community, the lifestyle community, to make it better. So here's the deal. The voting, you can vote on these things. You vote until January 15th. And you can only vote one time, one time per email. and so the thing is we are asking we'd love all of you guys vote we're going to some some of the biggest names in the out there uh we would love to have you vote for us if you ever would on all three categories crazy truth crazy casbah and crazy winter nights you'll see them towards the bottom you just go to www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote so that's www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote. So that's www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote. And we would so appreciate your support. We would love to run all through this. Their awards are the Weekend After Crazy Winter Nights. So Crazy Winter Nights is the 17th. Seven days later after that would be the 24th, 25th, 24th. And we are actually going to be in Vegas. We're actually going to the award show. So we'll actually be in Vegas. So we certainly hope we would love your support and appreciate anything you can do for us there. Let your friends know everything you vote for us, and that would be awesome. So that's the first part. The second part is don't forget our big Crazy Winter Nights Party, January 17th through the 19th in Omaha, Nebraska. That's for Peyton Manning's fan. If you're a Peyton Manning fan. Anyways, it's going to be a huge event. We've got a giant dungeon. We've got Leather and Lace Party Friday night huge fender fair the the our own awards saturday night uh and the formal saturday night guest uh panelists and speakers some of the top experts in the world so make sure you're there you can buy your tickets today www.crazy crazies with a k crazy winter nights.com you need to do some of those Because I don't ever get to break rest during halftime Welcome to being the quarterback Alright, shall we move along? What was your question that you had? I totally just did that to mess her up Like we did that last week Excuse me, I'm a dick. I had a question and I told you about it. Yeah. We were all over it. Well, maybe we didn't. No, you didn't, but that's all right. Okay. Okay. See how you feel. All right. Okay, so the next... The cord's tickling my boobs my boobs so booby tickle uh you know there's the challenge i'm at right now with this part of the show because i've got some questions that i could that we could throw out there okay i mean i got several i have a plethora of questions i don't but the people sent to us which we appreciate. We also had a situation that got acknowledged today that I could tackle that. Well, that doesn't sound like a lot of fun, does it? No. You'd think we'd be more organized. It never made it nationwide. I wouldn't worry about it. That's true. And then, you know, I mean, I don't know. We can talk about my penis if we want it to. We can talk about whatever we want it to, I guess. Did you just say your penis? I was just saying if you were listening, just see if you're paying any attention. Yeah. It's hard. It's kind of got a mushroom in my head and yeah, please light up. Anyways. Okay. Oh no, I just picked my nose. Yep. i just picked my nose right on the video hey everybody all right so so okay so the next question the next question comes to us from george uh he's not in the jungle right you got that reference thank you very much i'll be here all day Wow George is in the desert George is in Arizona Phoenix to be exact So Very much, I'll be here all day. Wow. George is in the desert. George is in Arizona, Phoenix, to be exact. So there's no jungle there. Anyways, George's question. George says, I'm very, very shy. I'm a very nice guy, and I'm very, very shy. I'm a single male. Once you get to know me, I'm outgoing. But the challenge I have at swinger clubs and activities is I tend to be a wallflower i don't want to be a problem how can i make more friends and contacts that's a really good question george george the answer is very simple it's hopeless no i'm kidding george no no it's never hopeless no no okay here's the social anxiety and nervousness and i mean obviously i've been fortunate and you've been fortunate we have been that situation alone we were a couple right okay so there is always that thing there is a safety thing when you go in as a couple because you know that no matter what else yes somebody talks you have each other right and you can make the most of it and you don't ever feel like like you know like you stand out and remember that whole thing about not letting stuff mind fuck you this is that thing believe it or not everybody is really not staring at you going what's what what's what's up with that yeah unless you're really really hot and all the girls are going who's that yeah no i've seen him before then they're just checking out your package just saying uh i've done that once well exactly but you know i mean unless you're just standing there just fucking beating your meat looking at everybody going and they're like oh my god you know i mean it's but if you're just being to yourself no look you're you're okay okay you're gonna make it through the show and i'm gonna fucking yawn Yo, I don't need you make it sound like i have a nap all night anyways uh so here's the thing social anxiety for people who don't have it uh it is a very fucking real thing okay and social anxiety can be some people just initially it can be in small groups it can be in large groups some people have social anxiety they'll be doing fine and then stuff can get kind of sensory overload and they've got to get away for a minute they got to step away they got to kind of relax uh it's not they're trying to run away or anything else but but that stress and anxiety builds and and i'm telling you if you've ever had a panic attack you can kind of feel what they're feeling like you know a little bit so you know when you have social anxiety you want to meet people you want to be part of the group just like everybody else swinging can be a damn intimidating thing and i don't care if you're a single female or a single male okay or or part of a couple even it It can be a really, really big deal. So the first thing is, you know, George, one of the things I'd recommend is if you have a friend that's in the lifestyle, whether it's another male or whether it's a female, if you can go initially to a club with someone else there with you as a friend, that's okay. You know, just again, for nothing more than to have somebody to kind of a comfort zone a little bit the other thing is social media use social media i you know we have a son that has social anxiety really really badly and and social media can be such you know there's a lot of part of facebook and and all this shit that sucks cock i mean let's face it but there's also a really good part of it for the lifestyle and swinging you can kind of start to interact with people you recognize them a little bit you know be active on some of those pages in in a good way i mean let's not be fucking herb tarlik out here being a dumb ass but you know in a good way be active comments on you know participate in in group posts dumbass. But, you know, in a good way, be active, comment, you know, participate in group posts and post pictures, you know, things along those lines to take and get yourself known a little bit. That can go a really long way. That gives you a chance to have some of those initial conversations online. Now, I understand if you have social anxiety, the first time you're going to meet somebody somewhere you still have it well even if you don't have social anxiety it's still a hang-up yes we went to the one party out west for halloween there was a single male that was there he didn't know anybody but he knew us yep that's right yep so and knew well he knew a couple of people right right yeah but i stood by his side and when there were people that were in the same kit groups or stuff like that i would go hey you know this person they're so and so on oh so i was introducing him to all the people i knew because i knew way more than he did and and by the end nine he was off talking with people in multiple groups yeah and he apologized because i don't mean to be clean i said you're not clinging around i'm introducing you to people that you don't know right and that's the thing if you're gonna be at an event or something put it out there say hey look i'm thinking about coming to this event i one of the things that we see a lot of we sit on our page i see it on a lot of pages and i would i would seriously say don't do this or or or really think this through is hey i'm going to this event i need a date you know skip that shit a date has its own whole set of social fucking norms values and shit why not just set up instead and say i'm going to hear who else is going to be here or hey i'm going here you know do you want to meet there just so we know a couple people have that use social media to your advantage that way so that you can and most of them have pre-parties right a lot well a lot of the big parties but even if just meet and greet at a at a vanilla bar or whatever still let people know you're going to be there you know put it out there and then the next step and and this is hard especially again for people with social anxiety this is why it's so important to be cool with everybody when somebody walks up to you okay this is huge because you don't Somebody could have, it could be a huge deal to have balls enough to come up and talk to you. Okay. But when somebody, but if you see somebody that you've been communicating online with, there's not a single thing wrong with walking up and going, hey, aren't you Amanda? I'm Cole. We've chatted a little bit online. It's great to put a name with a face. Even if it isn't that person, what a great icebreaker. What a great icebreaker. Oh, I thought you were so-and-so. What's your name? Oh, okay. Right, and here's the thing. Maybe it doesn't mean now that you've talked to somebody, you've got to be like, and suction to them the rest of the night. But you know what? As a general rule, it's going to give you a few minutes of conversation. If they're with other it's a great chance to introduce yourself or have them introduce you oh by the way well this so so you know yes now they oh well it's great to see and then they go about their business well then yeah you're going to need to go to the next person but the one thing i do know with social anxiety is you can start to build a little bit of confidence okay you you made that contact you did that and that's fucking a great job and i'm not being a smart ass or a dick here at all you know maybe you fucking you did that that's a huge step you go outside you get some fresh air you have a confidence a vote to a positive to build on and move forward so you can go back in uh another place this is this is going to be for people if you're really kind of uncomfortable a great place to meet people and just say hi to someone is out where everybody's smoking yeah here's the even if you're not a smoker even if you're not a smoker convenientlycatching a breath of fresh air when there's a group of smokers around. We're the friendliest motherfuckers you'll ever meet. Give us a couple drinks. We're giving you smokes. We're lighting cigarettes for you. But, I mean, seriously, anybody, it's a great time because here's the deal. You don't smoke very often. Rarely, right? Unless you've been drinking a lot in your chimney. But if it's cold, you're go out and smoke as much no i'm gonna go smoke a cigarette i don't give two fucks if it's a blizzard when i'm ready to you know i'm gonna go off a cigarette now that uh so we don't go out together with every time for a cigarette break so what you have is you have all these people that are like either singles or people that are a part of a couple, but only half the couple's there. So we all don't know anybody. It's a great time. Well, I'm like, hey, what's up? You know, hey, there's been through the years and I'm not, okay, look, I'm not advocating to start smoking cigarettes if you haven't. You know, what a great time. Hey, kids, are you smoking yet? Marlboro Lights, the smoke a champion a champion no i'm not saying that but i'm you know it is some of this is it's it's tricking and selling yourself how to overcome your own nervousness and your own whatever okay by myself i'm terrified to go up to people and introduce myself no you're not're not. I used to be. You used to be. You're not going to just fucking come running in unless you've been drinking, right? But, I mean, you're not like terror. I don't know what happened. Oh, my God, I almost drowned. You're not completely terrorized. But, no, it's not your favorite thing to do to do okay here's the other thing i'm going to say with the social anxiety and the nervousness and whatever guys and gals there is nothing wrong this this comes from somebody who does a shit ton of public speaking okay and and even after oh fuck i've been doing public speaking for i'm 47 so oh i don't know 38 39 years that i've been doing public speaking now uh the thing is is that i still get nervous before every speech i ever do and i've spoken in front of 10 000 people but i still get nervous before every speech i ever do okay and nervousness is part of it but you know you know when that anxiety is higher than others okay and here's the deal sometimes you just live to fight another day i mean it really is what it is look if you go somewhere and that anxiety is just really kicking your ass i mean it's just like you can't get relaxed you can't get comfortable you know whatever the case look the worst mistake you can do is go try to drink your way through it okay because then you're going to be socially awkward and drunk and then you're gonna be like it might make you a little bit more sociable but well a shot or two for anybody is one thing but if you're in one of those things you're just not fucking feeling it you know where you're just like no this is too much do yourself a favor bolt look no no one's gonna think anything bad about it you know you okay it is much better you only get one chance to make a first impression it's much better to wait until you're more comfortable you know and you know what areas you're more comfortable in are you more comfortable in a some people if you put them in a hotel takeover fucking whatever setting they are that is their that is their world uh some people if you put them in that world that's just it's sensory overload it is what it is but if you put them in a 20 30 person crowd they do really really good there okay so know your strengths know your weaknesses and i know some people are going to listen to everything's done some people are just shy and it's not social anxiety let me help you out with this being shy is a form of social anxiety okay and it it really is okay and and i'm going to take it a step further because having done with all the speeches and the stuff that I do, I have a really firm understanding of shyness and social anxiety and all the rest. If you're part of a couple and half of your couple is super, super shy or however you want to say it, okay, that presents its own set of unique challenges because you were never look you were never we're different in that some situations you take the lead some situations i take that's true okay so that's a little bit different but one of the key things is how you handle how the outgoing half handles it is the biggest key with with a couple that if one side is really shy right i mean I'm going to take a cigarette you're pretty much doing that wait just so you know wait i know what sometimes i go to have a cigarette because i saw a piece of ass go out that way i'm like oh i want to meet them i feel the need for nicotine no i'm just kidding i've never done that i've never i've never done that in my life i haven't and you're like that's why i've walked out with you to go have a cigarette and you're macking on somebody you've done that too but that wasn't an awkward situation for me so it's okay um no but okay so but the thing is is that there is a degree of try to help it i don't try to come on yawn a big one let the ghost stick his dick right in there jesus we're gonna start recording earlier nobody needs a nappy poo uh no you actually you went up all morning so i'll give you some slack i slept in later you did i know you did not on purpose no but you were up like a boss and you kicked ass and took names so the the thing is though i mean seriously seriously, when it comes to a partner, you know, and if you know that you're shy, have a strategy, man. I mean, that's part of it. Look, you didn't just magically become, you weren't like, I'm outgoing as fuck. And all of a sudden we pulled up to the bar and we got there and I just became like, and I hate people. No, it doesn't work that that way you knew you were shy ahead of time so have a strategy you know try to don't don't put yourself in like this i have no idea type things going on have a strategy just if you can't tell who's the more outgoing one between you and i you are i as fuck. Think about when we go to restaurants or meet and greets or bar or whatever, who walks in the door first? You do. You do. What did I just say? Yeah. And I'm telling you, think it through now. Now who does't walk in first? No, I say you walk in first.
Speaker2:
But I don't usually do that.
Speaker1:
Why? By the way, this is a shameless plug for Cole and old school generational thought process. Because I opened the door for a lady.
Speaker4:
No, there is times I make you go in first.
Speaker1:
Yeah, actually you have pushed me in first. No, yeah, you do.
Speaker2:
You do.
Speaker1:
There are times you have literally hidden behind me. There are times I go, you go in first because you can see over everybody and I can't. So you can spot people faster than I can. Yes. Yes, that's very true. That's very true. Okay, wait a minute. I want to read this real quick from Eric. This is from our secret page, Crazy Casbah. Eric has a unique point. Wife is very shy, but has no problem getting naked. Does not enjoy the communication part of swinging. And Ms. Amanda, for those of you who are just listening and can't see, she raised her hand. Because, yeah, you don't. I can communicate with people. I can carry on a conversation. You don't mind the communication part, but you are. you ever ever since we first started you have no problem when it's time to get naked you're like let's go let's go and i mean that you've always been really confident with that part you might not be confident like parading around we first got in this you were not confident parading around like a super skimpy outfit no but when it came time to you're like i'd never wear that nope but it came time to get naked with strangers you were like yeah i mean i and what it is eric and what i would guess is it's it's about a thing of you there's certain activities that you uh you had planned to do you're mentally prepared to do and so it's like let's go i i mean i can see where some people the communication part can kind of get in the way with the whole uh with the whole thing to a degree i mean talking people because let's face it we've had people it's like oh i really would have really liked to hook up with them and they talked you're I'm like, yeah. And then they stupided their way right out of a chance. I mean, that's you know that's just uh to be okay so marshall from her secret page says what about the people who are shy but they have to be under alcohol and then become twat waffles okay so and that's a great point look we've said this before if you can't swing uh if you have to be train wreck drunk to swing that's gonna say it doesn't hurt to have somewhat liquid courage to go up and talk to people right and and that's the huge difference look if you know a couple cocktails and you're feeling good and you're feeling relaxed problem, no harm, no foul. If you have to be like I was two weeks ago and just fucking train wrecked, wasted, then no, it's not for you. That is not, that is, you're not drinking your way out of social anxiety or social or out of shyness. You're drinking yourself out of control. And that becomes a totally different thing and and here's what's really funny it's for people that think that's the ultimate way to do and that's the answer i can tell you everything that you work so hard in your day-to-day life to portray or to to show to the world that your sexiness your beauty your strength your whatever okay as soon as as soon as it goes to train wreck drunk that's all thrown out the window because now you just look like a fucking train wreck drunk and there's there's no way to hide that it kills me and i think women have a disadvantage because of makeup right so you can see some there's gold pictures that are just fucking hot as shit but but they were there's something funny where you were do you remember the night okay let's do a story god we went to see uh midnight devils the boys in the band okay right and and it was your night i mean because you i had been my night the night before and you were fucking drunk that narrows it down no no no no i mean you were taking pictures yeah and they gave us some stickers you know give me two of those because i said you'll put you'll take pictures of those over your over your boobs and over your over your cooter and you're like fuck. Yeah. And I got all right here, whatever. And those pictures were horrible. And you were draw. boobs and over your over your cooter and you're like fuck yeah and i got all right here whatever and those pictures were horrible and you were drunk and we took those pictures and okay so this is that disadvantage that women have because your makeup was just like i mean it looked like you know you'd been through a sprinkler and you're there was just you know i don't know why that happened i don't't... And you guys, we... But there's pictures of me when I'm just that train wreck. There are pictures of me singing where I'm just that train wreck drunk that you can see even with my shades on, with my sunglasses on. I'm just fucking sick. I'm still fucking drunk. I have no idea what's going on. And the thing is, so what you should do, anybody who's trying to... And where this was going with that story, A, you want to see those pictures. In 1995...
Speaker2:
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker1:
We'll maybe put those out sometime. But the thing is, I don't know. you should do anybody who's trying to where this was going with that story a you want to see those pictures in 1995 no i'm just kidding uh i mean we'll maybe we'll put those out sometime but the thing is is if you want for people that are going to try to drink their way through shyness you need to get a picture taken of you when you're just fucking wasted and you need to keep that with you because that is what when you go from a couple of cocktails to just fucking that's what you look like if you know at that point that's not beautiful that's not hot that's not you know as a guy that's not masculine or tough you just look fucking dumb and and that's the thing so a way to eliminate that just as a side note, to this, is that if you want to play with somebody and they're super shy and they think they have to drink their way to that, don't play with them when they're that drunk. No. You shouldn't anyway. That's an absolute no. But, you know, if somebody's really shy and you're interested, make the first move. Make it a little bit easier for them. I mean, it's not, again, it's not that hard. But, you know, that shyness, you know, don't, if you're a wallflower, I'm kind of bouncing around this because there's so many other things. This is hard for me because that's not how I am. But if you're a wall wallflower when somebody comes up when when miss amanda because if she sees you stand over on the wall she's going to come over and she's going to make an effort to talk to you because we've all been new but if you're standing there and kind of bobbing and she comes grabs you to dance then come go dance oh i'll try to go then go dance you can't complain about never meeting but i'm being super shy and going oh no no no no then jump on when somebody does come over and and talk to you or reaches out to you then then engage i mean no matter and it doesn't mean you have to have sex with no it doesn't mean you have to fuck him but you definitely aren't going to fuck him if you don't engage with him and and you know what here's what's weird uh we know this because when you when you have a podcast and a big page and put on parties you don't get to like you don't get laid anymore but uh so you can still have fun with these events without having sex i mean it it's happened we've lived it i've seen it so you know just have okay so to recap uh have a plan if you're a couple or a single on how you're going to deal with your shyness or social anxiety.
Speaker4:
Try to meet some people ahead of time, whether if they announce it, they're going to have dinner at some, so go have dinner.
Speaker1:
Yeah, you got to eat. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Speaker4:
And let whoever's putting it on or suggesting the dinner say, I'm going to be there, look for me. Yeah, exactly. Let people know you're going to attend. Participate. Use social media to your advantage. And when you see somebody you know from that you've been chatting with, have the courage. Don't look at the big group. Just have the courage to introduce yourself to one person, right, to try to do with one person and number three know your limitations know your limitations and number four the smoking joke room the smoking joking the smoking area is a great beast place peace fuck me running the smoking area is a great is a great place to to meet people i'm telling you look you're not going to get that advice anywhere else everybody else we live in a like pc world you dirty smoker go vape go fucking whatever go make a snowball i don't care what the fuck you do but the reality of it is the smoking place is a great place to meet people think and you know and i'm gonna because again no everyone's like well that's just wrong in today environment you're encouraging i don't fucking care when you start a new job think about that halloween party there was probably 10 people out there visiting with each other yeah and how many people knew each other think of it this way when you go start a job you okay for non-smokers you don't know this you know the easiest way to meet people when you go start a new job it's fine okay where where are we allowed to smoke smoking is the easiest way to find a new job so you know stand there have a candy cigarette i don't fucking care if you're willing to stand out in the cold us smokers will talk to you well we will true i'm just i'm just saying how are we doing on time where are we we at? What's going on? What day is it? Jesus Christ. You have probably about two minutes. Two minutes? That's it? Yes. Babs. I'm not babbling. Why is that what I talk about? It's important. Okay. So I don't know if I have anything I can answer in two minutes. Jeez. The way you talk. No, you can't. Seriously. Okay. Hey, so I'm going to, I'm just going to use this as another push. Here's what I need. Twitter followers. If you tweet, I need you because I fucked it up when I made it. It's atcrazy. Yeah, I'm a moron. Whatever. I need you to follow us. Because we reach all these people, and yet I don't have very many Twitter. I don't have like, I don't have under 600 Twitter followers. Do you know how often I go on Twitter? I know, but some people, there's somebody getting a lot of Twitter or tweeting a lot. Because some people have like fucking 15,000. I want more. I want more people to tweet with. I try to be, like, I put funny stuff. I put pictures. You know, I mean, I do a lot of different things. You know, I put stuff like the shows up and shit like that, because I guess you can tell them, oh, I'm using it for, like, as a source of information and informing people. People are like, well, okay. Can I put more naked pictures of you on there uh how many of my relatives are you friends with i don't know because they can use different
Speaker1:
names i don't know who cares do you think they're really gonna care i'm just saying yeah probably not enough two minutes enough time for amanda to speak really take another one out me flicking off so i can put it on other sources too dumb. Dumbass. Dumas to you. Dumas. Smile for the camera, kids. See, you get to see the behind stuff. So, hey, maybe this next week I'll take and put some stuff on, you know, pictures of my office and stuff. Maybe we can do that. There you go. I don't know. All right. Well, we can actually wrap you up early. Anyways, so I hope you had fun, kids. We've worked for two minutes. I hope you had fun. We sure did. We always do. We love you guys. We appreciate it. Again, don't forget. Hey, get your crazy cask of merchandise. It's cool. It's awesome. It's fun. I like to have my pulse on the pussy of America. You can get your panties, boy shorts, shirts, patches, you name it, we got it. Go to www.crazykazbah.com. Don't forget your tickets to come to the party of the year, 2020, January 17th through the 19th. I'll go to friends at sls.com and slsradio will be there and so many more. You can buy your tickets at www.crazy.com. That's crazy with a K. Winternights.com. And please, if you like us, you know, and vote for us, please. I'll bet you if you vote for us, I'll bet we can do something like sending pictures of me in his titties. anyways uh you can vote for us please we like that i'll bet i'll bet you if you vote for us i'll bet we can do something like sending pictures of me in his titties anyways uh you can vote for us at www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote maybe we'll send like vote stickers anyways all right so with that being said hey we're gonna let you go we're doing it the only way I know how, the only way I ever want to, and the only motherfucking way we ever will. Casbah Style, out.
