Krazy Truth #75 Keyboard Porn star

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I am your host with the most, I am Cole, and I'm here with the lovely, the lovely lovely and slightly chilly miss amanda hey and we are here to spew our knowledge all upon you about everything that is fun and real and i got some great fucking questions tonight just so you know uh but before we before we go there this would be episode or see a fuck season two episode 75 and i already know what the name of this one's going to be that's scary believe it or not i don't usually name stuff ahead of time but the questions that we got this week i've been dying to do this show all week long uh the the name of this episode so everybody's going to want to let everybody know to hear it uh is called keyboard porn stars all right so keep that in mind a little bit you'll see as we go through the questions but i want to take an opportunity before we get started uh because a lot of our listeners are don't touch my stick oh why why do you do that because i fuck with it and i feel like it's up my nose oh my god jesus fucking anyways a lot of our listeners uh a lot of our folks listen to us uh are truck drivers or they listen to us while they're on the road or while they commute whatever the case may be so i want to give a shout out my whole family is truck drivers so or was so i want to give a huge shout out to all the guys and gals that listen to our podcast out on the road uh i know it can be kind of lonely. It can be kind of, it's not an easy thing to drive. And no, it's more than that. Be safe out there. We're glad that we can be hopefully bringing some laughs and some titillating moments. We start getting hearts as soon as you start on your shirt.
Speaker2: Weird.
Speaker1: Some titillating moments out on the road today and, and today and every day. So there you go. Shout out to all of the truck drivers across America that are listening to us dreaming about your tits, dear. They can't see. I feel like if it's up so high that I feel like it picks up all my nose work. Quit doing that. Okay, quit breathing. Seriously. You fucking goof-ass. So, anyways, hey, so, you know, also, I'm going to get this plug in quick. Again, this show is brought to you, our sponsors, ourselves, for this next couple of weeks leading up to this, a couple of months, which is Crazy Winter Nights. Don't forget, our party is coming up January 17th through the 19th. You are going to want to get your tickets ASAP because, guess what, you're going to want to get your room. Rooms are going to fill up because in Omaha, where the event is, there's a whole bunch of events going on, so hotels are filling up all across the city. So January 17th through the 19th, look, you can go to a poser wannabe party somewhere in January, or you can go to a kick-ass party, which would be ours. Totally your choice. But if you want tickets and you want to know more about it, go to www.crazywinternights.com also that's how you get tickets also that's where we're gonna be putting some more announcements of our guest speakers and some all kinds of shit coming up so you're gonna want to uh check that out bookmark that as the kids say don't fucking look at me like that with your fucking do you know that bookmarking has been around for a long time hey look man we had a news station do a story that a girl solved a family mystery using google translate like it was this brand new fucking thing are you kidding me so yeah i know i gotta be a smart ass okay so shall we uh well first and foremost for those of you that don't know uh that means you haven't been listening to us long enough we're not paying attention fuckers i'm just kidding uh we also do this live in front of our large large secret facebook page crazy casbah if you want to be a part of it we can certainly make that happen or one of our many we actually have several pages out there we have a fucking me we group we have pages we have all kinds of shit you know why because we're the shit that's why and that's the one i'm sticking with i guess i shouldn't look at my phone while we're doing this stuff huh okay should we get to the questions yeah okay so i'm excited about the questions tonight uh so we're going to start with the first question we start we're going to start with is fucking awesome. Okay, so the question does not come to us from an individual. Okay. The question comes from us. This question was signed, Wives of Wine. W-I-N-E. Wives of Wine. I need to be a part of that group. Yeah, Ie wives of wine uh what they are part of that yeah i think you do because what they are is they are a group of ladies in the uh back back in new york state they're all swingers they're all friends and they're all part of couples that play in the lifestyle not necessarily just together and they have their own little get together once a week where they sit there
Speaker2: And I'll see you next time. They're all swingers. They're all friends. And they're all part of couples that play in the lifestyle.
Speaker1: Not necessarily just together. And they have their own little get together once a week where they sit there and they're drinking booze and just hanging out and talking to shit and whatever.
Speaker3: We need to do this.
Speaker1: And they actually listen to our show. So they listen to our show every week together. That's how their thing started is listen to the crazy truth. And so they decided to get together and write a letter a question to us okay and then i'm like well already you guys are the coolest thing ever so their question is they wanted to know why what they started with what the fuck is wrong with all the guys that's how they started that's how they started this off i'm like oh boy they're like what is what's wrong with all the guys? That's how they started this off. I'm like, oh boy. They're like, what's wrong with all the guys? Why are guys always going after the easy girls and not just part of couples? Why are guys taking the easy path? So I got a hold of them because I got a hold of their leader to find out more what they meant by that. And what they're talking about is is that it seems like this is a problem that i've heard in my own life and and every guy that's married has heard this as well of there's somebody comes in and they're bouncing all over the fucking place and guys are going it's new meat usually and they're trying to figure out why do the guys always go after these these fucking people which turn out most time what they're talking about is in their little group they've got three not within their little group but in their i was gonna say they talk about this no but when they go out where they go the club that they go to they said there's like three gals that are just as to quote them and i quote just fucking whores so i'm like awesome i actually talked to this guy on the phone and i'm pretty sure that they were getting ready to there were a couple of them over there because they were there there was a lot of giggling there was a lot of clinking and giggling so i think they were drinking uh but anyways that there's three that are just Fucking whores that will fuck anybody And that every guy still wants to Wants to stick their dick in them And they're like So they're like what the fuck is wrong with guys Why can't they figure this out That you know why do they go after somebody That's just a fucking whore So and this is why I love this show Do that or no i i okay i don't know that is not the right way that's not the right way to phrase it well but just taking it off of them yeah this is this is that's that's the women of wine that's their their quote and uh and i'm here's the thing i get it or they made more just talking about the girls that are a little bit more easy their biggest thing is they're talking about the girls that are easy or not a challenge they're not a challenge that's just that these girls there as they said these girls are ones that will that will just they in their opinion they have no they have no standards or ethics it doesn't matter like if there's if there's a dick to be had they're gonna jump on it like a hero jumping on a grenade okay okay so and the problem is is that everybody seems to want them right and so they're just and they are just fucking pouncing on every cock that's possible.
Speaker3: And so their question, their bigger thing is,
Speaker1: why are guys just like,
Speaker2: as she said, why can't they see that, and again, to quote them, that they're whores?
Speaker1: And I'm like, okay.
Speaker2: Okay, so let's start this off a little bit. We're all kind of whores. Well, here's the thing. In the lifestyle, we all know,
Speaker1: being a whore is bad, being a slut is not. A slut is bad to honor, okay? So I want to start with saying this. Look, everybody has to understand one thing. We're all in this lifestyle in some degree, and we've had this argument before, but some degree to fuck, right? I mean, ultimately, that's the thing. We want to fuck. We want to have sex, okay? Nobody is in it to not. I i mean there may be some people that are in it too they want to watch their partner fuck but there's some form of sexual activity that is the underlining theme of being in this lifestyle right so number one there's there's nothing wrong with someone that is is i don't believe that there's anybody that's a whore i don't believe anybody just because they're fucking everybody hey you know what everybody's life lifestyle experience is different now how they're doing that now that's a different ball game my motherfucking phone some douchebag forgot to shut their fucking phone off before they started doing the show i wonder who that dick was me okay so the the thing is how they're doing that now that i might have a problem with okay okay because here's the difference look you can have sex with as many people as you want okay left to my own device if i'd have been a swinger in college you know what my dick would have i would have fucked my dick right off i mean i literally i yeah i did and i wasn't even a lifestyle but it's how you go about it okay so it's how you go about it it how it's how are you and we've talked about this before are you being braggy about it are you are you having to make sure everybody else knows that you're fucking looking fucking him now looking fucking her now looking fucking him now you know you're it a show. Are you doing it safe? Obviously, that's a big part of it. That was one of their concerns they brought up. Are you doing it safe? Because they're like, you know, if these three are infecting the population, you know, and so there's a lot of outside factors. But number one, how much fucking sex one person has, you know what? Get over it. Okay? So ladies, get over it. Have another glass wine, get over it. That's what the lifestyle is about. Some people only want to find a couple or two or a person or two to have friends with benefits with. That's how they want to live the lifestyle. Rock on. Some people want quality over quantity. It is what it is is that's how they want to live the lifestyle so fucking leave them alone let them do it that way some people want a happy medium some people just hope till we get laid again no but i mean you know everybody's different so so to me it's the equivalent of saying you can't say that um you don't do anal sex with other people i'm the only person that's kind of our role that anal sex with me at least at this point now we haven't changed it right okay so it but it doesn't mean that if somebody who loves it up the butt and loves anal sex doesn't make them wrong because they like to have anal sex no it's their choice on how they want to live the lifestyle right and that's the same kind of thing the way this works but how you go about it is huge okay so so how you go about it what you do is just insert a into slot b you know i think the biggest thing is it's it's presentation is everything okay shelly you can appreciate this you're a baker you're on she's on her secret page she's listening right now look if you take and make the greatest tasting cake in the world i mean it just tastes like fucking orgasm in your mouth it's just like but it comes out and it's all fucking but it looks like a giant pile of turd or like a big pile of shit on a plate, then you have a problem. No one's going to ever get past the fact that it looks like it's been fucked by a raccoon to eat it. Does that make sense? You're looking at me right now like I've lost my ever-loving fucking mind. Well, you kind of have. Okay, let okay let's try this a different way shall we you can you can be a dude and be the greatest lover in the world the biggest dick a big old rock hard cockaroo and and everything else but if you smell like ass and you look like a bum like maybe you just came in off the street no chick's gonna taste you to find out no one's gonna take that chance is that a better analogy yeah okay so it's the same thing with this look if you're coming across as a complete and total fucking hoe you know where you're just like you know you look like you're in a competition or you look like you're just you know you look easy and and it's questionable your motives are questionable eventually eventually and i say that that's key word phraser eventually you're not gonna be welcome around we've seen that in groups that we've hung out with eventually that is going to bite you in the ass and not in the way that you hope okay and the word of caution i will have and this applies to both fucking dudes and chicks okay so this is not just a chick thing this is guys who look dude if you're a guy and you look like a fucking you know walking male prostitute and you act like it okay eventually there's going to start to be issues the issue is initially going to come from the spouses okay look when you're fucking singles you can run them out however you want to really because ultimately fucking singles is like just picking up strange pussy down at a bar or strange dick at a bar right but when you start fucking with couples oh boy so for all you girls listening out here that have not figured this out yet have your eyes and ears open if every time you come up and talk to a guy watch out of the corner of your eye what his wife does okay because? Because I'm going to tell you what. She rolls her fucking eyes or turns away pissed off, you're in trouble. You're in trouble because it's going to get around. If you're a dude and every time you come up all Rico Suave in on a chick and the husband steps a little closer, kind of bristles, kind of gets kind of dickish, dude you're in trouble because once you once you start pressing that boundary with couples then you got a problem you got a real problem uh okay she only had a good point there it's not not challenging to anyone, so you'll be an option, but maybe not a first option. That's very correct.
Speaker2: That's the other thing.
Speaker1: And you need to jump in here. You're a chick, so you've got a pussy. I've seen it. I've tasted it. I've been there before. What do you, I mean, what do you, from a woman's perspective, what do you think?
Speaker3: Well, obviously they wanted a male's perspective on it.
Speaker1: I wanted to give them to a group meeting.
Speaker3: Jesus.
Speaker1: Sorry, ladies.
Speaker3: From a female standpoint, I've been the female that has rolled her eyes.
Speaker1: Yeah, well, yeah. And it's mainly because, like, that one person was needy and always called upon other guys to give her sympathy, even though there was nothing that they could do to help her. It was to give her shit. There was the problem. It was she wanted the attention she wanted. Or at least it seemed that way. I mean, maybe it wasn't, but that's the way it it always appeared and sometimes it can come across as as a guy giving you know all these guys give one female attention and all the rest of them just have to sit there and go great which okay now i'm gonna address it and i'm gonna be a douche when i do it okay okay i know i am i'm just gonna Look, part of that, and I'm just going to say, and I'm going to be a douche when I do it. Oh, God. Okay. Okay, I know why I am. I'm just going to, look, part of that, and I'm just going to say it, I'm going to get, this will give me hate mail all over the place. There's a degree. Might be from your wife. Might be from your wife. There's a degree of that, which is, that's your problem, and your problem only, as in females. It's a female problem. It's, it's, and that i'm not i'm not trying to say i'm not trying to say anything bad about females i love you all but what i'm saying is is that i think that the way females deal with insecurities is much much different than the way guys do we have them also okay we get all stupid because we think that the dude's got a bigger dick. But the way you deal with insecurities is different. And the thing is, is that here's the deal. Instantly, you all believe every chick I've ever talked to, same thing. You're beautiful. You're just saying that. You've got a nice ass. You're just saying that. You've got this. You're just saying that. No, motherfucker, I'm not just saying that you've got this you're just saying that no motherfucker i'm not just saying i'm not under contract or some law that i have to say those things at all look we yeah i mean it just it it is what it is so some of that to a large degree is that's that's how you that's your insecurities with it we deal with a little bit different okay we have them look when you get uh you get a hot new girl in the group okay claws and fangs come out immediately females in general it's like it's i don't know if your ovaries just kick into like monster mode i don't know what it is for guys oh fuck shit let's look at it from this standpoint a new female comes into the room they're all touchy-feely jumping all over the place touching every guy and trying to get every guy's attention and and hang on them and all this stuff and the wife is going you don't do that do that with me. Okay, well, but here's the thing. Maybe we could go back to the Stone Age and we can do it like dogs. And what we'll do is every time that a new guy comes in the room that's hot or whatever you think is hot, I'll just go and pee on you in front of him to mark you. And when a girl comes in, you can just piss on me and you can mark me. No here's the thing you're not wrong okay we joke about this i'm not wrong and i can actually give you an example when we first started off in the lifestyle of another male oh okay of another male oh wait a minute yeah this is gonna be a time i got jealous this is gonna make you look like a dick oh perfect sweet man loves it when she gets there was one couple that were looking to hook up okay and we were sitting at a bar outside and we were talking about sex and he goes i've never had a problem getting it up oh fuck and you turned we got in the car and you're like you we are not hooking up with them yes excuse me but there are some guys that don't have issues now granted there wasn't a mutual interest on all parties so oh i remember that yeah how much of an asshole was that so you can sit there and go you're not hooking up with them but we see on the side going oh my god no no no wait a minute wait a minute there's a difference here there's a difference here at least as a guy i manned up i balled up and i said we ain't doing it now we also all know that if you go the fuck we're not you'd have won but i may end up what women like to do is just bitch about it okay there's a difference she's a fucking whore she's no there's a difference there now okay and we joke here's it we joke about this but it but it is guys are just as bad okay i know you you could tell a thousand stories of times where i fucking I don't know. are just as bad okay i know you you could tell a thousand stories of times where i've fucking poofed up like a fucking bullfrog because you're talking to a dude and i'm like hovering like like what up motherfucker you know type type thing because i went through those stages also i'm just as bad i think though the, though, the thing that both parties, you know, I'm trying to back to cover my ass, both parties are guilty of, though, is that you've said it to me before. Well, it's a problem because she doesn't look anything like me. I mean, she's, you know, you're short. You're short and fucking curvy and sexy as fuck even though you don't believe me but you have a thing for blondes and uh tall blondes long legs i don't have either one right but the thing is is here's the deal we're swinging okay so when we're swinging the idea is we're we're getting something strange different whatever obviously the initial goal is different pussy different dick but so why wouldn't i want to fuck something different than what i have do you remember what what our oldest son said to us when when we were in our triad remember what he said to me he turned to me and he goes dad she's super cool and she's super hot i get that why the fuck did you get a girlfriend that's almost identical to mom okay because you guys were a lot alike right so the thing is is here's the thing i get it i'm kind of fucking pudgy and balding you know whatever i get if there's a dude that's six eight and fucking ripped you know what he doesn't look anything like me i understand you want You want something different. You dig fucking short guys. A couple reasons. One, you found short guys generally have big dicks, right? Generally. And it's different in how positions and stuff work. Okay, so the thing is, it's not that I want to trade you in, but yeah, you're 4'11", you're sexy as fuck, and you're an awesome fuck.
Speaker2: But you know what?
Speaker1: It's fun to occasionally stick your dick in something that's six foot.
Speaker2: It's different, but I'm still, I'm not shopping. It's not like I'm taking them for a test drive to see if I can bring them home and fucking, you know, I'll tell you what, we're not doing, like, Pokemon cards. I'll trade you one fucking almost midget for your almost giant.
Speaker1: I mean, we're not doing that. You know what I so but but i get it that we've totally fucking brain here here's part of the here's that something new well and this is going to go back to the other theme though my theme of of keyboard porn stars one of the other problems that the gals had okay and and we're going to talk a lot about this tonight is is the fucking bullshit not bullshit but the the how it's how social media has fucking absolutely changed the game on the lifestyle because one of their things is they bitch about is in their groups that there are different groups they're on different uh pages not facebook because obviously they are dealing with the same rules we are but the different groups is the same problem of guess who was always posting the pictures that's who's always fucking all over the button you need to be part of the group no but they the girls that these three women that are the ones that are they think are just hoe bags right and they feel like everywhere you look, bam, there they are. Flirting online. Look, and I get the frustration with that, okay? And that part's a different ballgame that before social media, the lifestyle didn't have to deal with that crap, right? But with guys, we're very simple animals, okay? sleep eat fuck sleep and shit that's what we like to do okay so but it's like a high school thing when you found when somebody found the girl that fucked in high school right guess what and she instantly became of interest to every other guy because like there's her chance to get pussy yes it is less work right so we're automatically going to go to where the easiest the easiest access is and it's the same thing in the lifestyle yeah if look if I have if I know it look if I really want to sleep with you I don't know you I really want to fuck you okay I'm gonna do whatever i need to do to get there okay but in the meantime if i know that it's gonna take three different times at the bar and going out dinner and going out to dinner and then maybe we're finally gonna hook up and maybe then it'll work that my wife and your husband will get along enough so we can actually do this but it's gonna be a month month and a half process okay great i really want to see we'll figure it out or i can go and just say hey you want to fuck well where am i going to go i mean one of the biggest complaints you've dealt with it as being part of casbah is that how many guys are and we're going to talk about this because it ties in in a little bit what one of my questions actually getting a guy to say i want to fuck come on let's go fuck so it's like if we're going to take the path of least resistance we really are the the problem with it is is that it's a couple okay well holy shit there's gonna be a lot of guys and and i've made that mistake when we were first in it of totally not thinking about and remembering your spouse and and how they might feel right but you know when you start getting into the couples with single guys number one couples quit worrying about what the singles are doing okay don't worry about who the single guys are fucking don't worry about who the single girls are fucking the singles are a totally different monster you know in and of themselves excuse me when they start dealing with couples that's when it becomes more of a combined issue okay but just but just know look if you as a female and a couple want to get more dick i'm not saying you have to just walk around and you know it's not like you're on fire stop drop and spread your legs but i mean you can also there are things you can do to make it easier for guys.
Speaker2: I mean, we. OK, what's that?
Speaker1: Well, OK, we know that I know that a lot of women would prefer a guy that walks up and goes, hey, I'm really interested.
Speaker3: You want to hook up?
Speaker2: It's a different world.
Speaker1: Ain't gonna fucking happen.
Speaker2: OK, this is this is a modern world now. Right.
Speaker1: Where women ask guys to marry him and vice versa and the whole nine yards. welcome to to the modern age you want to fuck a dude tell him hey i want to fuck i mean that that's part of it you want a dude pursue him you you have to make you have to make the the move don't assume or imagine that that the dude is going to pick up subtle hints okay there was a time when guys still like you know i was raised to still open doors for ladies and and you know ladies first and and that whole concept i still practice that i mean that's still important to me okay that's not the world that we live in now okay it's really not so so a guy like where i was raised you could do subtle flirty hints and things with and we would be looking for those things you know the casual brush the casual whatever in a grand scheme of things we're just stupid we don't you know guys don't get that you you have to if you want it go out and get it and you have to say now by the same token what i did not say in all this shit was lower your standards no but we have to change who we are no you don't you don't no look you are not normally a touchy-feely who won't get drunk enough you get a couple shots you'll suck a cock no no i know you're not normally touchy-feely you don't be touchy-feely allergies i tell you i want an allergy sponsor for this show so i get free pills uh no no doubt the thing is is you don't have to become change a touchy-feely person but okay like for you as That's it. shows i get free pills uh no no doubt the thing is is you don't have to become change a touchy feely person but okay like for you as an example 20 years ago 20 27 years ago you were shy you you were not you were not going to be the aggressor you were you were not going to do that okay that's not who you are now i've seen you in the fucking car when somebody cuts you off you may be small but you are out the fucking window screaming them motherfuckers ready to fucking go straight up pissed off rage it's inside a car where people can't angry elf mode so i'm just saying you don't have to change yourself but you just have to understand that You can't rely on someone else. You got to say, hey, I want to fuck. I want to hook up. And the other part that goes with it is ladies and guys we we stress on this all the time fucking communication communication with your spouse look we you and i've had this conversation where cole because i'm kind of a big guy i'm not a huge guy you know I'm six foot tall 250 pounds so but I can come across kind of a big guy that you said look you know you looked intimidating the way you know I was zoning out one night you carry yourself intimidating well there was there was one night I was zoning out right I wasn't even thinking but you were flirting with a guy but it i had i had resting bitch face i looked pissed off and and the dude i didn't even notice it which i felt horrible after the fact i didn't even notice it but the dude was like constantly looking at me like all nervous because he thought i was pissed off and he ended up like okay well you know yeah i'll talk to you and couldn't get away from you fast enough. And it wasn't until months later that we found out the dude thought I was pissed off at him and didn't want him talking to you. And I literally was just kind of drunk and spacing off. So, but you had to, we had to have that conversation where you had to say, look, you know, you can't stand there like that. You're standing there. You look pissed as fuck. No one's going to come fucking talk to me. So ladies, have that communication with your spouse. Guys, I understand that it's exciting when you know somebody is going to put out. All of our fucking divining rods can sense loose pussy just like that. We're all, pussy. We know it. We get we get it we can sense it but keep in mind how your wives and your significant others feel you know don't have them being left out you know don't join the circle jerk to sit there and stare and everybody ignore who you're going home with and then the whole time talk to them and for god fucking sakes when you're online with them with whatever groups you're in you know what control yourself on what you post and what i'm talking about is response back to certain people look every single time you put a lot of pictures on and they're hot pictures I do just to keep it active whatever and a lot of people do you know what a lot of people's posts i like and i either like their picture or make a comment but i don't necessarily do it on every single picture they put on okay so dudes you know what if a chick is hot no matter what and she puts on 50 pictures a day you do not need to come and i want to lick your pussy your titties are so hot your ass is so great you know you don't have to fucking control yourself for christ's sake just a little bit because guess what all the other chicks are seeing that every other woman on there seeing that including your spouse dumbass is seeing that And then all of a sudden Well when that
Speaker2: When you
Speaker1: When the next Fresh fucking I don't know. every other woman on there seeing that including your spouse dumbass is seeing that and then all of a sudden well when that when you when the next fresh fucking puss comes on the page and the fresh meat comes on and you do it again and you do it every time somebody new comes on you want to know what now chicks are going well it's just fucking thirsty and it doesn't mean shit so have a little fucking just like pull thy head from thy ass a little bit remember social media it will come back to bite you in the ass if you're not careful it will come back to bite you in the ass you know i had a gal say to me um one time about one of our pages that uh they thought it was interesting because obviously we're big on we don't allow body shame we don't even have fucking bullshit because that's stupid there's somebody for everybody but thought it was interesting that you will watch guys comment on women of completely opposite ends of the spectrum for age body type the whole nine yards now that's not a bad thing because you know what here's the deal there's a lot of a lot of people will post pictures on there i i they're good pictures and and i'll tell them nice pictures or heart the picture like the picture it doesn't mean i want to fuck him just like it doesn't mean that you know every girl that likes anything i put wants to fuck me it's the thirsty comments that go with it so here's the thing if you have a a you know you have one end of the spectrum and again i don't want to say this a little i don't want it to be like i'm slamming anybody i don't know how to how to phrase this but you have you have well we'll use heights there we go you have you at 411 okay and then you've got this girl at 6 6 right so two separate ends of the spectrum and if as a guy you put oh there's nothing hotter than fucking short girls it's so awesome oh and then they turn around at the 6 6 girl would oh the best fucks are tall girls it's so fucking awesome oh there's some people that like all ends right but how you communicate that if you do it for both and not everybody's that way and so what happens is if you do like it both ends of the spectrum rock on your comments come across as disingenuous it comes so you know change it up i mean make it because then they go well you're just saying that for anything because it's got fucking tits ass and a pussy well and maybe that's not what you're trying to do at all you know but that's one thing people notice and and from a woman's perspective you tell me if i'm wrong because you're a woman all of a sudden all of sudden that compliment if it was meant as a compliment just appears thirsty as fuck and the First thing then Women start to go is Oh yeah well that dude Just gonna fuck anything that moves You know And instantly it loses that credibility Do you agree with that? You're being awfully quiet Why am I doing all the talking? Don't you always? Yeah Way to take the label off dork butt you know what if we get sued we get sued they can't see it on the radio yeah there we go I'm just saying alright so how are we doing time where are we at actually it's beyond half time are you shitting me fuck no I'm not I don't do that I'm sorry so i'm not into it okay so here's the idea i'm gonna do harder than i want to keep moving because i don't want to fucking get to miss this other part quit crying it's not what we're crying amanda miss amanda's eyes all fucked up allergy that is just like so she's so she's sitting here all day and it's water and she's consecrating a cloth around to dab her tears. I turn into an old lady, Carrie, a tissue with me to dabble my eye. Two of our kids came over today. All of our kids are adults and two of our kids stopped over today and they're like, geez, dad, what are you going to make a mom cry? I'm like, fuck no, it's allergies. I didn't do shit. It's not my fault. God damn it. They did not. They did. Then she beats me and I'm trying i don't know okay so moving on with our theme you like it you know it yes i do just remember if you're gonna pinch the nipple softly and give him a kiss depends on the day well yeah but when i yell don't do it anymore i'm just saying pinching my nipples are hot clamping down on them like a fucking raccoon Going for a nut Not so much That'd be a squirrel Going for a nut I'm just saying Wow Okay Now my nipples are hard What the fuck No they're always hard It's cause it's Flipping cold in here No it's not Fuck no Are you kidding me I had turned on An electric blanket. No, Jesus Christ. And had it heating up. Miss Amanda's the greatest swinger in the world, as long as you're in fucking the equator. She does get naked when it's cold, but she needs bodies rubbing up against her fast, or she will freeze. Otherwise, she can rock a parka. Nah, nook. She's so fucking sexy. One year, we're going to have crazy winter nights in Alaska, just because that's going be funny uh anyways all right yeah no no actually one thing we're gonna do the one i'm real quick and i gotta get on this other question is that we uh there it's in finland where you can go up and see that they have like not igloos but like igloos the dome thing so you can watch the northern lights and stuff we're gonna do that and i all i gotta do is be able to get her mismanaged to get off the plane and get into somewhere warm and then then we're you know then we'll be fine if she doesn't freeze it up to in here and there as long as it has heat inside the little dome thing i'm fine hey guess what we don't do on the holidays we don't take sleigh rides anywhere just just saying i don't take her snowmobiling she said that'd be fun I'm like it's outside and cold that would suck I'm like okay anyways we gotta keep moving there's no positive way around that one fucking in the snow you might think it's hot just make sure don't lick his pole because your tongue will get stuck no it'd be cold it shouldn't't sting unless it was a metal dick.
Speaker3: It wouldn't be the same as having sex in the sand. I've done that, and that's not overrated.
Speaker1: Well, yeah, this will just melt. It won't leave things for you to make pearls in weird places in your body. Total difference.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker3: Clans stand out for days.
Speaker1: Now it really is like a clam.
Speaker2: Oh.
Speaker1: A whole new meaning to pearl necklace. Hard to believe. For the snow thing, you can hook me up for the snow thing. Seriously? We're in fuck yeah. Okay, so I'm going to move on and get to the next question real quick. If I have enough alcohol, I'm good. Yeah.
Speaker2: Frosty becomes Frosty the drunk snowman roaming around out there.
Speaker1: It'll be perfect.
Speaker2: It'll be, yeah. I heard someone complain about rumplements. And I said, yeah, but if you're cold, one shot at that, and you can just feel it warm through your body.
Speaker1: This is why we don't take a man out in the winter without, like, you know, some adult supervision, because she'd be all warm laying down at a snowbank. We'd find her drunk and frozen.
Speaker3: I've taken a picture in the snow.
Speaker2: You have. Yeah.
Speaker1: I don't know how come off a fucking polar bear, but I'm willing to go to Shari. All right. So... Water? Penguin slip and slide. Okay. So... Do your halftime. You're getting past it now. Fuck my halftime. We're moving on. Yeah, you have like 20 minutes. Okay. All right so so all of our questions all of uh uh all of our questions came from uh chicks today from women and i purposely did it because i think it's funny as shit uh so and this goes along with that no this goes along with no because number one they're they're 100 valid questions i think that first was very valid. Yeah. I still want you to be a part of that group because I think that sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah, it does. We need to start one. Yeah. Now, the next question, it's also extremely valid. Extremely valid question, okay? And I laugh because this stuff... We've had this conversation because we've dealt with it. You've with it anyways so this question comes to us from nicole this comes to us uh also from the east coast from pennsylvania as well and her question is and again it started about the same way why are guys such idiots i'm just like i love getting our mail i'm so depressed like a mail bashing session yeah i love it and her thing was was the whole question why do guys go online okay that's why i can't see how we got the keyboard porn star go online and brag about how great they are at sex and in either flake or such a disappointment why not shut your fucking mouth was exactly how she put it so so i i reached out i mean pretty much i had a pretty good understand what she was talking about and and she was talking about the general thing of guys that will you know whether it be in on social media uh texting sexting whatever i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that oh you ain't never had it like this you're never gonna eat now like this you know no one's gonna fuck you as good as i am you know i'll fuck you for hours baby all this crap you know i gotta send you a big dick whatever and then if they do hook up with them it's a complete fucking disappointment and a joke anywhere from they can't get it up to it's like well wait what happened to this i'm gonna fuck you so long and you know 10 minutes later we're done the you know oh i can eat pussy like a boss and then they're like you know like a little kid fucking you know licking a lollipop lick lick all the typical shit and and or or they just the deal never gets closed they talk a good game and then they never then when they go out and she said there's guys like okay then when you run into parties or events they all of a sudden are like this totally different person that they're just like you can't they can't hardly even have a conversation and they run away from you. And I laughed, and I laughed because we, for all the years we've been in the lifestyle, you've lived, you've dealt with it. And we've watched it. So that's why I was like, I wanted to get, what would you say to her? Get used to it. No. Let's start off with one aspect of it. There are a lot of guys that are, that brag up their oral skills. Okay. Well, here's the deal. I have one guy, oh, you know, you'll'll you just love my oral oh i just i'll make you come like none other a i'm not easy to get off worldly i love when you get those by the way um one well a couple different ones they do this light little flick well your wife might like that and it probably gets your wife off really well but every woman is different either above the clit below the clit hard soft it some people just don't get off at all on it so don't just assume because your wife says that you're fantastic at it that you're going to get everybody off and you're going to be the best person to give it orally I'm not one to hurt people's feelings so I tap out and move on okay wait a minute probably just a second Shelly has the greatest thing she's listening on our crazy CASBA page. She goes, my over 20 years in here, I have found if you brag, you need to. If you talk yourself down, it's because you can deliver it then. So basically, those who talk shit, it's the pickup truck. I have said, no, I've said this many, many times. Guys that that go oh i i always thought i had a small dick um no you don't honey and those that go oh i have this big dick and you're gonna love it oh please don't say that okay great look i love i love when you get guys that say how much they're gonna eat you you out and how they're going to make you cum. Because we've been together 27 years. And I'm, I don't know. I know what you like. I know what you like. I trained you well. You did. You did. You trained me. Padawan. Well, that's where communication comes in. No, I like it here. Okay. Use the force, young Skywalker. My tongue makes the same sound as a lightsaber.
Speaker3: Anyways, even with me doing it to you,
Speaker2: if we start off and I'm eating you out to begin with,
Speaker1: I can't get you off of that.
Speaker2: Sometimes, rarely. Rarely.
Speaker1: I have a better shot after we've been, guys, take'm giving you all a secret secret code if you think you want to get a miss amanda off with oral start fucking her first and when she's into it stop then go hit it then go hit it with your because at that point in time the sensitivity is up but. Because at that point in time, the sensitivity is up. But even then, by that point in time, you're not going to like, you don't want a lot of it. You're ready to fucking keep the date going. But if you really want to do something, that's, you know. One of them, yeah. You had to train me when we got in the lifestyle on how to eat other girls out. mm-hmm because by the way let me put this apology out to all the girls that the couples and girls that we were with before i said to you god they squirm so much because i didn't say that to you for like two years there's two or three years so let me apologize because i thought you were squirming because you were excited so when i grabbed your hips and held you in place i thought it was because we had a girl that tried to get away from me every time she'd come and i won't i don't think that's fun to not let him get away but i didn't realize that what you were trying to do was move your hips you weren't trying to move your hips because you were excited you were trying to move your cooter so i would hit the right spot so i apologize but it but it was because you had to tell me you go wait a minute i think i think what it was you were with a couple and you saw me clamp down on her hips no one time we were in the bedroom shock i know what and then i was rocking my hips i was kind of just enjoying the motion right and you go oh my god can you quit moving i'm like i want it where i want it not where you want to give it to me the spot moved a little bit i want it over here i don't want it right there shall i put i'll get it in the right place well but i and i didn't and dumb guy yeah i i didn't know because let's face it sucking a dick is a little different ball game don't use teeth no but some guys like it slow some guys like it hard some like it just the tip if you really but we all like it in your mouth and that's what's really most important because that dawned on me you know i've i've had guys go oh go slower huh yeah yeah okay i i can do that and then you follow the moans and you go they're moaning. Ooh, they must really like this then because they're moaning a lot. Right, right. Kind of less on oral sex. Well, but the thing is, here's the deal. So number one, I can say this completely. Guys, you're not going to wow her. I'm now to the point that I will ask because you said, if you want to know, just ask the girl. So I'll ask the question.
Speaker3: Because some like it above the clit and some like it below.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker3: And if you're going constant,
Speaker2: I've,
Speaker3: I've had to learn it. If you're going constantly above the clit and they're like, I'm not getting off,
Speaker2: go, well, well,
Speaker3: maybe you don't like, maybe you like it there.
Speaker2: Oh, you do. Right.
Speaker1: Well, and, and so now I've learned to go ahead and ask because it makes sense. But here's the thing. Look, you don't have a pussy. No matter what that one chick told you, you're not the greatest. Okay? I know that at some point in time in your life, some girl told you, you eat pussy the best of anybody in the world. She lying now do some have better oral skills than others yeah yeah but that's with everybody but it even even then it doesn't mean that you actually even ate that girl's pussy the best some girls will say it because well they don't want to hurt your feelings okay and and guys it look when it comes to dick size here's the deal I was stupid when I first got in the lifestyle. I was one of them that was like, well, he's got a way bigger dick than me. How long does it take before you feel my dick again? Not understanding basic human anatomy like a tool. But don't brag about it. Look, because here's the thing thing this is like any other fact they say average i think you can find things that say an average size dick is anywhere from six to seven inches actually there's some that say five and a half say it's not even it's like five and a half to six and a half okay there are some that there's some that the sizing's all over so what is average is is anybody's guess the one thing you've taught me and and i've heard this from a lot of girls in the lifestyles we went through you can have a seal killer you can have a big old fatty you know nine and a half ten inch fucking monster cock that's the same size as a pop bottle. And it can get as hard as Mount Rushmore. But if you don't know how to use it and you just slam it in there, okay, you're not the best fuck she's ever had. You're just tearing her up and she's just hoping you'd be done. Or if you're a lazy fuck, just because you got a big dick and you think that means you get to be a lazy fuck you're a lazy fuck okay and i do not i have will not and have never bragged about what i will or will not do to a girl in bed because because i learned this a long time under promise over deliver look if i don't tell you that i'm going to be the greatest fuck in the world then you're not going to be comparing me to your greatest fuck so i can't disappoint you at that point in time i'm going to do it the best i can i'm going to give it the old college try and i'm going to hammer as best i can and do the best i can but i'm not going to sit there and say i'm the best at anything there's been no contest i have I have no award. I have no proof. I didn't win like Mr. Dick Olympia. You know, I didn't win the fucker of the year award, whatever the case may be. That is not how this fucking works. And these guys get on there and they promise this stuff. Guys, we're stupid. Okay. We're dumb because we don't understand. Look, send in a dick picture, no matter matter how big your dick is bragging about how good you're gonna eat pussy fuck whatever the case is bragging about how much money you have that's not going to get you laid okay so what about for women pussies the pussies no I'm talking about a woman
Speaker3: saying that she'll give you the best blowjob bullshit I've talked about how I like to deep throat
Speaker1: look
Speaker3: and I have a special little tongue thing I do
Speaker1: every girl again it applies both ways okay look even you I would absolutely if there was a contest I would put you in the contest for best dick sucker Here we go. applies both ways okay look even you i i i would absolutely if there was a contest i would put you in the contest for best dick sucker okay because because you give blowjobs at rock everybody can wrong angle catch a tooth you know catch it catch it just just wrong a little bit and put all sense happens. Uh, there are some girls that it's like sticking your dick in a blender. Okay. And I know that there's some guys that like a little bit of teeth with it, whatever. Uh, I'm a guy that I, I like to feel there are some girls out there that will suck your dick. And the only part of it that they touch is that is they're going all the way down but they're only touching like the mushroomy rim coming out look i don't i don't want to just feel your breath on the rest of it i like to feel your lips i like to feel your turn i like to you know so again until you win a contest as best dick sucker and best cock sucker you shouldn't you shouldn't say that and for guys i to me a pussy's pussy's pussy there's some differences some are kind of if they're gaping that's a big difference okay it's a little bit different every girl on on when how you hit bones or or whatever can be a little bit different but even even that you know the the thing is is that who's to say who is the best and who is not the best everybody likes different things okay so i'll give you an example this here's here's a here's a cold thing i don't know why but it is what it is it and it doesn't matter if it's you or somebody else if if you get super super wet what happens go limp i go limp i literally will have to stop and like dry off dry off a little bit because it doesn't have the same it doesn't have the same friction it doesn't mean that you became a better or worse fuck it just it just is what it is it's just a different thing and and this is where, you know, these fucking people, look, the keyboard porn star. It's like being a tough guy on the keyboard. I'm going to kick your fucking ass, man. Okay. Don't put it on social media. Prove it. So instead of being a porn star on the keyboard about you, I'm going to eat your pussy and I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: Why don't you fucking sack up and fucking actually follow through and meet up and then prove it? Because that, that's, you know,
Speaker2: that's,
Speaker3: that's part of it. Some people send messages via social media or text or whatever
Speaker1: to feel out to see if they're going to get rejected yeah i think so i think that's also part of the reason why people will sext and brag i think that's why people will brag is that they're they we all hate to be disappointed guys we're we're simple creatures again I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know. people will sext and brag i think that's why people will brag is that they're they we all hate to be disappointed guys we're simple creatures again look i'm 47 years old and and there there are people listening right now to our podcast on our station on our channel on our page that know that i am was shy to come up and talk to them the first time and ask them
Speaker1: to hook up because i still remember the first time i got shot down as a guy and i think they're really attractive i really want to hook up with them and i was afraid of being rejected at 47 years old and pretty outgoing for the most part i'm pretty confident so it's easy to want to take and brag your way into success. To get a shot? If I talk good enough game without understanding that then you got to back it up or then or then it's really going to backfire on you you know and so i think that people they do do that to take in and sound to get a shot and sound hotter and to sound more confident here's one of the other problems though with being a keyboard porn star okay let's take you for example and of course i'm advanced because i know what you like and what you don't like so you got a guy he wants to fuck you right you actually have several guys i want to fuck you some that balls don't talk to some that don't uh anyways you got a guy who wants to fuck you and so he wants to fuck you, right? You actually have several guys that want to fuck you. Some that have balls that don't talk to you. Some that don't. Anyways, you got a guy that wants to fuck you and so he wants to try to, he doesn't want to actually sext completely but he wants to start talking dirty a little bit. Okay? Okay. Keep the scenario in mind. So, he starts talking about he can't wait to eat your pussy. You're going to love his tongue. Send you a picture of his tongue. He's got a great cock. Send you a picture of his cock. And, you know, I just can't wait. I'm going to eat you out you're gonna love his tongue send your picture of his tongue he's got a great cock send your picture of his cock and you know i just can't wait i'm gonna eat you out flip you over and gnaw your ass right out and what do you do immediately at that point in time abort because you're not into eating out ass no and you don't really particularly want a guy to eat your ass no so instantly so he's trying to talk all sexy and whatever he doesn't know what you're into or what you're not completely and so just because he's because he read about it in penthouse fucking forum doesn't mean that every chick wants their ass licked and eaten out you know what hey girls if you're a chick and you want to fucking and and you you want to bag me it don't be like i can't wait for you to just munch my ass i ain't gonna do it and not gonna happen you know what i mean so that's one of the other other dangers of of of talking too much is that look just be normal and talk don't don't be a porn star fucking before we were in the lifestyle we had this old neighbor that talked about who lived in the house oh god and he goes you know I'd really like to eat her ass and we looked at each other and went holy shit seriously good job you fucking by the way hey we want to send a huge shout out to everybody this week we want you all to send Amanda good vibes and, and, seriously. Good job, you fucking dole. By the way, hey, we want to send a huge shout-out to everybody this week. We want you all to send Amanda good vibes and prayers this week so she can bag the 27-year-old at her work that wants to fuck her. Just saying. Oh, my God. Wanted to put that out there for you. Asshole. Hey, he fits all the criteria. He's a handsome young man man it's cougar season he's old enough god anyways we gotta go that's fucking weird all right so here's a don't be a fucking don't be a fucking keyboard porn star uh just keep it real kids that's all to do. So real quick again, I want to shout out. Thank you very much for listening. We appreciate it. This is our, like I said, like our 77th total episode. So feel free to catch us on Thursdays. Don't forget to catch us on Mondays on SLS Radio at 3 p.m. Central Standard Time, 4 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
Speaker2: And don't forget January 17th through the 19th, kids. I'm telling you, don't fuck around. If you want to be at the party of a lifetime, and this is going to be the party.
Speaker3: There's never been one like it.
Speaker2: You need to get your tickets today to get your hotel room. You want to go to www.crazywinternights.com.
Speaker1: You can either be there or you can spend the next year hearing about what the fuck you missed so please make sure you're there visit there today we appreciate it and that's it i think right all right so doing it the only way i know how the only way i want to and the only fucking way i ever will casbah style out bye