Krazy Truth #69 Damn those Emotions

Transcript

Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth.

I am the host with the most, I am Cole i'm here with the lovely lovely and wonderfully titted miss amanda hey and we are here to spew i don't know what the fuck we're gonna spew today so far today we're just spewing shit everywhere god you ever know there's a time you probably shouldn't record a podcast when when you fucking dump shit all over the bucket. He dumped his water on the table. In my command center for Crazy Water. Yeah, it made a mess. That was sweet. I'm so smooth. Way to go, pumpkin. Yeah.

So, hey, you know, we haven't done something kind of weird we haven't done for a long, long time. It's crazy sex news.

And what are you ready for this i'm not gonna do it again tonight either no actually there was a story well here's then there was a story circulating around on uh on facebook about like the whole bunch of seniors that got fucked you got popped having sex so there you go so look at it for it on facebook good grief yeah somebody's still recovering from a late night had a great night last night at one of our many uh meet and greets that we go and attend and we're invited to and had a great time and uh it was relatively close enough to home so we made the decision that we could drive home And we're not 20 Hey, I think we did pretty damn good We did great, but we pay for it today.

Yes, hence the, like, two-hour nap, three-hour nap, whatever it was in the middle of the day. Hence the complete chaos in my studio and everything else. Now it becomes well aware of why we do that way. If everything is too hot. Oh, that was me laughing probably. Anyways, okay. So, hey, so let's, well, first of all, I haven't done this for a while. I'm going to do this a little bit different. I'm just going to do whatever the fuck I want. It's like it's the Casimo way. Seriously? You can't change shit now. So here's the deal.

Obviously, for those of you who don't know, we do record our show live in front of a distant audience. So on Facebook, we need a laugh track. We record live on our secret Facebook page. So we will take questions as you guys go through today. Feel free to join in, chime in, say something, whatever. Hey, if you happen to be a hater on our page, say something too. That makes it way more fun and interesting. It's a little more challenging. Wait, what? It's more challenging. We have haters? We do. Okay, so I'm going to tell this story because I don't fucking care. Okay, it's your thing.

So last night was really awesome, right? So we're at the event, whatever, and this happened. So, we've been giving away, we've been, why did stuff change in my head? It's like, it's when you leaned in my head, anyways. So, what's funny is we've been giving away. It's the voices. No, it's like, well, it's the one that's just going, oh, we give stuff away on our, we've been giving crazy winter night tickets away, right?

So, there's nothing more fun than watching the haters just dread that their number's going to be called to be the one to win the crazy winter night tickets, because they hate us, so they don't want to go to our shit. I fucking love it. Yeah, so that happened. But actually, I got to tell you, last night we had a... Back up a smidge, you're a little loud. Last night, we had a couple that won the tickets. They were super excited. We were super excited to give them away. Actually, we're giving them away at a couple other events, too.

So they were super excited to win, and we're really excited about that. And I was going to say, we're really...

Well, it's not an exciting thing but uh we had a member that recently had their child have a get hit by a car and passed away and we are giving away uh they're we're going to be doing that but i think we're they've decided we've let the people put it on decide i want to but we're giving away two of our vip passes with a hotel room for the crazy one of nights and two of the kink dinner passes with hotel room for the crazy oh okay so we are we're happy to try to help out with that kind of stuff remember kids it's about community that's what it's all about try to help out your community and your lifestyle community and obviously giving free passes to a party doesn't uh can't take away people's pain in any way shape, or form, but it's our little part to help to...

Help raise funds, yeah. Raise funds. And one of the cool things about our Crazy Chasm page is that the members are always there to step right up. So that's a big kudos. See, we have quality people on our page that give a shit. And I think that says a ton, so there you go.

All right, so let's get on with our shall we shall we dove dive dove oh look at the pretty doves above that would be does should we dive right into uh to our our shit today I don't care to dive into shit but if you want to dive into other things then that would be fantastic into the pussy pool of life okay so so why do you keep looking at because when i talk it goes because you're you're vocal you should hear in bed kids we'll record an episode when we're fucking sometimes yeah and the people that have actually had sex with me would go bullshit no the people that actually have sex with me would be afraid she's going to die on the air.

She holds her breath. No, you never know. We should try that. That'll be fun. We could go wrong. We'll have to fuck on it for an episode one time. That'll be great. Not on Facebook. No, not on Facebook. You know what's going to make that fun? What? Because where I'm a smoker, a dirty, dirty smoker, and I already have that rasp a little bit into the microphone, boy, this way they can just hear that. I'd sound like Darth Vader for the podcast. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Yeah, anyways. All right, so onward and upward to spew we go. I'm going to take a drink. Are you spewing?

I have about half a glass of water left. Imagine that, dumbass. It's because you dumped it all over the table. I'll lick the studio later. Anyways, okay, so the first question, you know, the first question is more of a, it's not a specific question from a specific person. Because we actually got this question from a whole bunch of people. It came in from all realms of the country this week.

And one of the questions is, how do you deal with emotions in the lifestyle so and we had varying themes to this question varying topics so we had people that how do you avoid having emotions or getting emotions in the lifestyle how do you deal with when you have emotions in the lifestyle how do you deal with you know when those emotions can overcome and be too big and and is it we had questions is it okay to have emotions in lifestyle so it's kind of like a blanket thing right so let's start with the general thing we always tell people hey there's no right or wrong way to do the lifestyle right no and and we truly believe that that look this is not this is not a fucking onesie from sears where one size fits all this shit is you know it's it's i just made that up i was gonna say i don't think what the onesies is a one size fits all no i was trying to think shut up it's not pantyhose either well something that one size fits all my microphone is like hot i'll stand way back here that's awesome uh so anyway so it's it's not there's not like a right way okay everybody's a little bit different and how they how they do and and don't do the lifestyle that's it's it's a choose your own adventure right okay so i'm going to kind of break this down so let's start with are emotions good or bad in the lifestyle okay and again because it's a choose your own adventure you can't say it's not it's not black and white no right look it depends what you're looking for okay for some people yes it is there are some people there's a lot of people that have been on the lifestyle and they were single and they found love and they they got married out of the lifestyle some continue to swing some didn't there are different types of relationships obviously we you know we touch on briefly we're not experts but poly and triads and you know quadruple ads and you know uh whatever there there's a whole range of different scenarios that go through with it okay when it comes to the question of whether or not our emotions good or bad you can't look at emotions that way it doesn't work that way just like in real life we have to understand when you swing is you have to know going into it the more realistic thing i don't think any of us did it we didn't when we first got into it that emotions are going to happen in the lifestyle okay so here's a question though are we talking like emotions towards another person outside of the relationship or emotions between the couple both all the above okay because here's the thing again why you got into the lifestyle makes a big difference if you get in the lifestyle to fix your marriage a you fucked it up uh don't do that but if you get in the lifestyle to fix your marriage okay and it causes a greater emotional attachment to each other that that it can happen in in the lifestyle i think it should be it should be an enhancer it should have some effect on your emotions with each other if you're if you're with somebody else but i think the people that people are more afraid of emotions from the outside coming in okay so the problem is when people don't when you don't anticipate that that could happen okay we went into it with the concept of we're doing this just for fun we're just it's it's sex it's just right emotions are sneaky little okay emotions are like ninjas right so when you least expect it all of a sudden these little things are like yeah and they're like that might be louder recording and they're like and all of a sudden boom they got you okay you you have to be prepared for it you have to understand that it's a a great a great potential that it's going to happen if you're not prepared prepared for it, that's where it causes issues.

That's where it causes issues. And where no one is prepared for it when they first begin, you have to be willing to acknowledge once they emerge. So good or bad, it's like anything else. It's what you do with it that determines if it's good or bad.

Look, here deal it's people talk about it with guns they talk about it with with cars with drinking with drugs with everything is it good or bad it's all what you do with it look if you take a cute go to the store and you buy a zucchini a big fatty hard zucchini and you come home and you turn it into zucchini bread then it's good if you take that same zucchini and you go and buy it at the store and as an old woman is like with a walker is is making her way into the store and you use it to club her okay at that point in time then the zucchini is bad i was wondering where you're gonna go with that i don't want to use seals So, okay, so then the zucchini is bad.

I was wondering where you were going to go with that. I didn't want to use seals. So, okay, so is the zucchini bad? No, the zucchini is just a zucchini. Right? It's what you do with it. So the emotions, it's the same thing. Are the emotions bad? Well, fuck no, the emotions aren't bad. It's just what you do with those emotions. Okay?

And so you're going to hear me say this a lot in this episode communication and and here's the thing i don't mean the typical husband and wife the wife squawks the husband goes and doesn't listen or the husband talks and the wife's like uh-huh uh-huh uh-, uh-huh, and doesn't listen. I'm talking like real, honest, hardcore communication. Okay, I'm going to back out. I'm going to do something really different here. Okay, this is going to be weird. Part of the reason why these series of questions, we get these questions all the time, right?

And part of the reason that I decided to go ahead and tackle these questions today is because I can relate, we can relate directly to this. Because last night we had a two and a half hour road trip one way, right? And so what did we do that whole time? Talk. Right. And here's the thing. We have a million things we can talk about. In the lifestyle, what we're going to do for a podcast, this thing going on in Kaz Bank, this thing going on in Kaz Bank, whatever. Just we'll talk about.

In the lifestyle, what we're going to do for a podcast, this thing going on in Kaz Bank, this thing going on in Kaz Bank, whatever. Just what's going on at Life Plus. You have your Reiki business. You know, what's going on with that? Plus, I'm an efficient. What's going on? We have a million things we can talk about.

But what we talked about after 27 years of being together, 25 years of marriage, 27 years of being together with a strong relationship we talked about feelings and emotions that i'm dealing with right that tie into a previous relationship within the lifestyle and we talked about it we we didn't solve any great world problems no at all but the lines of communication state are open because it because that's what we do things right so it was important for me to make sure that you knew where my brain was at right and it was important to you because you want to know where my brain's at and and even what led a little bit further a little bit further back with this and we cracked the joke okay you have some potential suitors okay you have some potential suitors uh coming up in the next week week and a half whatever you dirty dirty girl anyways uh and i made the comment i said it's really funny it makes me jealous makes me jealous as fuck, but it's hot, but it's hot, but it's jealous, but it's hot, so it's more hot than jealous, but you know what I mean, so the thing is, is that, that's two people that have been in the lifestyle almost a decade, been together 27 years, communicate like motherfuckers.

We do, I don't think we're normal.

No, normal no we're not and you know what but we still talk about those little things why do we do it because when you don't talk about it then at least in our world we feel like that it becomes it's like you're sneaking around but here's also a key when you communicate one person has to be willing to listen yes and just listen yes in an understanding manner not in judgmental yes you have to look there's two types of ways to listen in this world okay you can listen to respond or you can listen to hear okay and then i do motivational and sales training and speaking like that and we talk about this all the time you have to be willing to listen to hear because when you listen to respond you're just like you listen so you know what to hurry and slam back or say back quick i'm fortunate we're fortunate we have that relationship with each other we always have we always have mm-hmm but the thing is is that when I tell you when I say to you good what was the joke I said as we were talking last night hey promise you don't get a divorce but but when I'm sitting here don't take this the wrong way don't take this our own way and I'm sitting there explaining to you you know how I don't know that some things Thank you very much.

but but when i'm sitting here don't take this the wrong way don't take this the wrong way and i'm sitting there explaining to you you know how i don't know that some things will ever be repaired or how that will ever you know okay that's a pretty heavy thing for a husband to say to a wife or or vice versa i'm able to have that level of communication with you because we've always had we've worked on on it. It's a daily skill we've worked on. It didn't magically happen. But we were able to have that communication because you're willing to listen to hear.

And then we talk about it, and we process stuff together.

Just like when I cracked the joke about the whole being jealous but horny, jealous horny thing then it sparked a conversation because you're like well I don't feel that way when I when I was on my little excursions you know and again does that make me right and you wrong or vice versa no but we both understand and we had a conversation and communication about it okay so you have to be willing to communicate if you start thinking you're having feelings or you or you are having you have to communicate it because i'm gonna say if you don't communicate it when it stays inside here's the deal kids believe it or not people can tell when something's going through your fucking brain and you're not sharing it okay as a wife what would you say to that i mean i mean you just look at me well can't you i mean i guess i was jumping in as you were talking but wouldn't you say though as a wife if a husband is is is she his mind, but not saying anything, can you see through that?

I don't know. For the people at home. Boy. Like, I can't read you anyway. Well, right. But some people, but, well, that's what I'm just saying. Everybody thinks that they can hide their emotions. Look, it's not being a fucking empath. Everybody's an empath. Okay, no, they're not. But everybody thinks they are, right? Everybody thinks they have this great ability to hide their emotions. And you're not. You're not. And you don't want to, you know. You shouldn't. No, no. Well, with your spouse.

When you're out in public, you you know do hide it because then you draw other people into your drama exactly okay so now jr off of our secret caspo page how come i'm not getting most emotions happen spontaneously and disappear just as fast but either way must openly be discussed with your partner especially if certain emotions remain present. It may constitute a need to reevaluate rules and possibly the no-fuck list. That is an awesome point right there. J.R. has a great point.

Most emotions do, whether it be jealousy, whether it be lust, whether it be whatever, tend to have like they're there and then, you know, and then they dissipate and go away. When you're new, the one thing I would add to that with JR is when you're new, you need to talk about all of them right away. You need to get in the habit of talking about your emotions, right? When you're experienced, you need to still be in the habit of talking about your emotions. Some shit never changes. Look, your minds can meander in a very dangerous way left to their own fucking devices, you know?

So, but definitely he's right in that it can change the no fuck list it can change rules how you text or don't text how you communicate how you interact at a party you know we've talked about it before on here at the world famous bonfire we had the point where we had to get to where we had the touch rule we had to you know to make sure there was no confusion and know, you know, that nothing went south. So, communication. It's a huge part of it. People are going to be so fucking tireless when you say communication. We got it, dumbass. Communicate. We got it.

But I think it's a message that can't be fucking said enough. Communication is always a learning process regardless. you can feel like you have the best communication in the world but it will constantly grow if you allow it that's right or it will constantly wither away if you don't practice it just like there was the one time you were playing at the house that's's right. And it was fun. You don't even know which time I'm talking about it, dork. But we have that little Amazon device. Poor little Alexa. And I dropped it.

I'm like, well, I might drop in wait pause one second the person that i was that i was playing with knew that we had that yeah and knew that knew that and had permission we joked around about before yeah so just nobody thinks that we're doing something fucking weird we had permission no yeah thank you because then that sounds kind of creepy and then because i'm not that type of person in the basement well well because the first time you hooked up with her i didn't even think about it right and i wouldn't have done it anyway no because i'm not gonna snoop like that but it was close for you to time for you to come get me at work so i'm just like well i wonder if he's done i got massive anxiety and i came back i said i don't have a problem with you fucking her.

Nope, nope. But just for some reason, I just got massive anxiety. And you didn't end up doing that. And you weren't doing anything. Right. No, it wouldn't connect. Yeah, it wouldn't connect. And that was totally, and that was for you, that usually doesn't bother you. But for whatever reason, it did.

I don't know why communicated about it we talked about it because this this whole lifestyle is no fun if everybody's on eggshells like if you're on eggshells at a party an event or if you're feeling guilty or dirty or well dirty can sometimes feel good just fucking just actually just saying but if you're feeling guilty or you know your partners have an issue and you're playing it takes the fun out of this whole thing okay i mean that you just can't do that right so you have to you have to put it out there you have to talk about it and you have to be honest okay so let's hit real quick on a second of honestly listening because we talked about a little bit but the initial reaction we're humans right so we want to it's like there's a it's tensions arguments blah if you're listening if your spouse is opening up to you and look i don't give two fucks if it's your wife or if it's your husband whatever the rule whichever that is or if you're just boyfriend girlfriend when your significant other is opening up to you if you instantly start bagging on them or bitching or shutting them down or whatever you're doomed you're doomed because here's the deal at that point in time you're not going to come to them again and this isn't even just about emotions in life so this is about wanting to try different things we've talked about that look if you the first time i covered your mouth when we fucked okay and i said i was gonna do it and we talked if you'd go what the fuck do you want to do that for you fucking sick twisted bastard i'd have been like well because i really don't i'm just gonna fuck you vanilla and and uh and you know how about we just do missionary for the rest of our lives very true so because guess what there's gonna have people it's there's gonna be feelings about coming out by there's gonna be things about not being by there's gonna be different positions there's gonna be a lot of things but if you if you automatically go on the fucking attack your partner is going to shut the fuck down and they're gonna be like you know what i'm not saying shit if you hadn't said to me that it was okay you're like okay and you didn't even hesitate okay you didn't judge you didn't anything that would have been something i never would have done again otherwise and that would have been like a mind fuck how's that getting the max out of the lifestyle or your life in general right so okay so i mean it's totally just ween us completely fucking south yeah so the innocent our emotions good or bad they're going to happen you have to be ready for them okay and and you know i gotta tell you some person and i told you this last night i told you but i didn't tell them they weren't in the car with us we need to have the podcast just where it's 24 hours a day they can just ride with us there you go 24 hours with cole and avanda except we name drop a lot yeah we do yeah we do uh if you're if you like cussing it's a good place to be uh anyway so was that somebody had told me at one point in time uh when we were talking about poly uh stuff for us and was helping me to under kind of understand my this person has a lot of experience in Bali and was helping me to kind of understand how why some things have changed for me when I was in that when we're in when we're in that uh made the comment about say she said you are just not wanting to go you're not letting your mind go where where it needs to go you know you're not being honest with yourself it was about emotions and uh it's no no that's not the case so i wouldn't do that she goes you got in the lifestyle because it was going to be fun that's why you and amanda got in the lifestyle yep we got in fun we weren't trying to fix a marriage nothing she goes why would you test your marriage that way and that hit home now i mean that hit home like a fucking sledgehammer because as she said there's been a lot of people that had long-term marriages that were became victims of the lifestyle that went into it for all the right reason you you it is again why would you test why would you test your marriage and that's kind of what it is but and right now a whole bunch of people are going, that's it, we're out of the lifestyle.

A whole bunch of guys are going, I hate you, Cole. You're a son of a bitch. No, we're not telling you don't get out of the lifestyle. What we're telling you is understand what it is and work on your communication skills. Then it doesn't have to be a test. It can be a test, but it's one that helps you grow further. So can you avoid emotions? No. Well, now bringing a third party into it, it depends on what you're looking for. If you want to develop emotions with another person, if you don't, if that's forbidden, that's y'all's thing.

I don't if that's like forbidden that's y'all's thing but you know if you don't want to develop emotions then sometimes people on the outside can see better than you can okay so let's go ahead and tell the story with that if you're gonna notice the theme here uh cole's a big dummy animal sometimes no no no well seriously so the very first time that we started to play with a a unicorn single girl well she was a single girl she wasn't bi and she was young she was young she was in her she was in her but she wasn't in the lifestyle either. No, she was in her 20s. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyways, and I worked with her. Anyways, and this little fucking thing progressed, and we were all having fun, except Cole couldn't see... I wasn't good at having that much fun.

No of it it was amanda was not having fun well and because part of what you saw what was going on you you saw that she was using she was someone who wanted a husband right wanted a lot of what we had in a relationship and everything else and you saw through and our kids who are older saw through that she used the concept of a friendship with you to get close to me i being a dude was like this is awesome probably if it were a weaker couple than we are it would have torn it would have broke us up torn a couple apart it it it was it was very bad because when it finally came to a head when it finally came to not the good type head that came really early on when it finally came to a head i mean it was literally you said it and and our oldest two kids said it to me that what are you doing you know you're you're this is't right and i fought you guys on it i argued with you i said i did not have emotions i didn't know that's not what's going on and now i blatantly said to you you've fallen in love with her yeah you yeah uh our oldest one said the same thing to me too did he yep took me and we went for a garden somewhere and and read me the right action he said you said you would never this wasn't about love and and i didn't you know i'm going no that's not that's not happening of course not that's happened not happening and all of a sudden then you start to point out examples and also i'm sitting there going and i was horrified because it started to hit me and i'm realizing wait a minute this is going somewhere i didn't want it to go it had never it had never meant to go that way at all now that's a that's an extreme situation because again she was not in the lifestyle and there was a lot of other manipulating factors that were involved there and we were very we were very very new in the lifestyle at that point oh somebody didn't turn their sound uh but we were very very new in the lifestyle and and you know so but it can happen to anybody well i think that's how some some i'm trying to think of a nice way to put it how some marriages get broken up home workers well i'll say it fucking home workers come in and fucking wreak havoc on the fuckers because we've seen it we've seen it and it's and and seriously again we're okay on this fucking show we're a little bit different we're fucking honest and we we we call shit out we're willing to just like that i'm willing to admit that that almost happened to me.

Well, it wouldn't have ripped our marriage apart, but... It put a strain on it for a little while. It changed how we operated within the lifestyle for quite a while, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

But going back to what JR said, it did change our rules it did change how we dealt with shit okay yeah we did we created some rules out of it we created a lot of rules and and you know what there was a shit ton of guilt on i felt a shit ton of guilt not because you shut up jack that's right she was a good fuck so shut up i know it was your first threesome with a female yeah well it was everybody else like we're searching for the magical unicorn i'm like well fucking call me lucky charms because i got that shit every night of the week i mean and i did for a while and you do lose fucking it's like i just i wasn't having emotions i just had vertigo no but i mean i you know it it did change how we did shit and it it it could have been a disaster and there was guilt on my part not because you made me feel guilty because once you saw that the light bulb went on you know it's not like then you were just like every time well i had to point out cheating dick no no no i didn't cheat you would show me her text and it's just like you know she's trying to guilt you into something yeah Wait dumbass you're a dumbass no it didn't change us plain in the life so it just changed how we did it just changed some of the rules but i felt guilty because that was not somewhere where i had ever wanted this shit to go that had never been part of the plan at all when i had hounded and begged for fucking to be in the lifestyle those years it was not for that so so when it happens you have to be you have to deal with it you have to and, it does sometimes take a third party to get into it.

Now, there's a huge thing. There was a difference of about six and a half, seven years between when that happened and before we ended up in a poly. And here's the thing. I want to be known right now. I want to say this right now, so it's perfect. Poly is not a bad thing.

Poly is not, there's nothing wrong with poly at all uh we said we would never do it we'll never say never because it what happens is emotions see how this works just happen that you know we didn't go looking for it now uh right now it's easy to go well we probably wouldn't do it again we can't honestly say that because who who knows if you're in a poly relationship rock on and what i say to people that are that are looking at paulie from the outside looking in and all they want to see is the you know that chick's got two guys or that dude's got two chicks understand their relationship is not that simplistic and show them the respect of not acting like it's that simplistic because it is a relationship amongst multiple people and you and and there's a lot of respect in there and you know understand it and and the other thing is don't look you have to be you have to know where you and your your significant other are before you should bring somebody else into that mix because it's not right to mind fuck the innocent person.

Right. Okay. So it's not, you know, we are huge fans and supporters of the poly community. And, and we have a lot of respect for people that are in poly relationships. Really do.

And, and better, even more understanding knowledge since we've been there and we were just poly light you know i mean we were i mean we're no experts we don't claim to be but it's but it's something that you have to fucking you know have a have a little bit of a grasp on as you do that you do have a responsibility understand the same things that it takes for a relationship like husband and wife boyfriend girlfriend you know boyfriend boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend whatever the case may be relationship work it's the same thing with poly it's just there's other people there also community again communication okay so the first original question were our emotions good or bad they're neither just.

Just know they're coming. Okay? No, they can happen. They can happen. And you need to address them all the way through. Big old drink of water. Wow. Did you want to take a halftime or no? Mm-hmm. Wow. Fuck halftime. Halftime? The last time I watched the team take a halftime, that was yesterday with my Huskers, and we know what happened after that. Anyways, okay. So the next part of that, though, is, and we kind of touched on this, how do you deal with emotions when they come up? Or when do you acknowledge them? You know, communication again. So we've talked about that a little bit.

How you deal with an open and honest listening to listen and and non-judgmental when it comes to when emotions come up and addressing them right away just this this fucking look waiting to do shit you know what waiting to address emotions is a lot like i don't know it's like if you when you were in high school and you had you're out you took mom and dad's car out and you got in a wreck with the car right the sooner you went home and just said fuck eat eat you admit it got it over with versus you know piling boxes and making three and four days later and trying to hide it only made it worse okay it's the same thing with thing with emotions.

Waiting to fuck around and get to them at some point in time and just ignoring it or thinking it'll get better, that is not going to work. What the fuck does that look for? Seven months? What do you mean seven months? What the fuck are you talking about? When you're finally sharing yours with me.

I have, no, I have that i waited seven months to share it's that they have been evolving yeah because i've been honest with you no you have i was just okay no not completely because there was a part there no you hit it for quite a while because i was more pissed off i was processing you were processing well i was because i really didn't know what the fuck i felt no that's true i mean and i still totally don't completely so that's okay see kids in listening land this is why this happens this is why you have to continually address it even if it even if it's shit that maybe stings a little bit and you have to continually address it even if it even if it's it's shit that maybe stings a little bit and you have to continually address it until you get it resolved right and as it changes and as it look we all wish that you could just have a single conversation about whatever it is and that was magically solved from there right it doesn't fucking work that way look new swingers out there that are listening this going God, maybe we shouldn't be in the lifestyle.

Don't get freaked out. Yeah, no. But understand, this also applies to you brand new. Look, maybe the emotions that you're talking about are not like, we're kind of talking about deep fucking emotions like love, the L word.

You know, we're talking about love and and things like that those aren't the only emotions in the fucking lifestyle you're gonna have to deal with no okay so you need if you're new and you haven't done it yet i promise you right now right now well not right now because well maybe on our page but definitely on thursday when this show comes out there are going to be people that are going to listen to this podcast they haven't hooked up with anybody yet but they're already starting to feel emotions like guilt because they want to excitement horniness uh uh fear dread you know all the the entire skittles of fucking emotions, they're going to taste the rainbow.

They're going to start to feel these things ahead of time because guess what, young swingers? You that have yet to dip your magic wands into the magic vaginas of others or vice versa or have had a magic wand stuck in your magic vagina, here's the deal. Let me help you out with this. Right now, the moment before it happens, when you're walking up to that meet and greet, when you are walking up to that party, when you are getting ready, you are going to have a moment of fucking doubt. You are going to have a moment of guilt. Because guess what?

I bet some people might have been raised this way but 99 of us were raised that going and fucking somebody else when you're married is wrong and for just a brief second in time you're going to be like i am about to get railed by some guy that i don't know his name and my husband's gonna watch i'm so dirty okay and you're going to have that but you're all drippy and wet and the dick's hard and it's already been your mouth oh fuck it and then you'll deal with it later and as a guy you're gonna sit there and you're gonna be like oh my god my wife is right there with the getting slapped in the chin with balls and i'm about to fuck this other girl oh my god you have to deal with it believe it or not if you don't that's not going to go away because when you get in the car to go home you can sit in silence a happy glow she's still kind of drippy your dick's been glazed her makeup's all a mess your hair's all a mess but just know this when you get home when you crawl into bed and you get ready to go to bed and you lean over to kiss each other there's a smell you're going to remember you've got pussy on your breath and she's got balls on hers and you're going to have to deal with it and okay.

You know what? Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean that the dick wasn't in her mouth. Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean that you didn't have your tongue halfway up in your stomach if you have her pussy. It is what it is. If you don't deal with it, shit's going to get fucked up.

Here's a horrible, horrible analogy and gross way to put it think of it this way you guys go out and do that she sucks it you eat pussy rock on everybody has a good time don't brush your teeth again until you finally deal with it yeah yeah you want to wait three days because guess what pussy on lips three days later it's a little ripe just saying you know you wouldn't wait right that's gross i'm just going oh my god people right now would throw it on america well it's the same thing it's right there deal with it you have to so new people look when you're here look if you're brand new and the very first person you touch you fall in love with the lifestyle is not for you just i'm just saying but you're gonna have emotions and shit you have to deal with okay now there's another part of this that goes in this goes both for the new people and experienced people who you're fucking has a huge can make a difference on what type of emotions i think this almost affects new people more.

What do you mean? I love that. What? A lot of people start off with a friend. A lot of new people. You read all the time. Do they? A lot of people start off with, they had this, it was her friend or it was his friend. A lot of people use, you know, three ways as the gateway of sex to the gangbang. God, we're not normal. No, we're not. But, I mean, or it's another couple they've known and there was too much booze and whatever. Don't think just because you were friends, you're not going to have to deal. There's not going to be emotional aspects that go with it. I would think there'd be more.

There could be. There could be. It's a whole new dynamic. If you don't know them, then you'll never have to see them again. That's it. Don't use your real name. Don't use your life. No, I'm not saying that. But, well, I mean. No, I guess you told the truth when you met me. Oh, shit. I knew I wanted you forever and ever, baby. So, and I did. But, okay, so my fear here is that i'm scaring people from from the lifestyle and that's not the case i mean i don't even know you could be emotions don't have to be involved they don't have to be you have to.

No, your internal emotions are always, there's going to be something. Well, yes. But, okay, external emotions, that becomes a choice. I mean, again. Oh, internal. We had a lot at the beginning. Yes. But we, a lot of times we played an hour away. So we had an hour car ride home, which felt like five minutes. Yeah.

Well, and let's face it sundays were usually spent still talking about it sometimes going over what was really hot and you get turned on and then you take a break so you have to go have sex then you come back and then you start talking about it again right you know you talk about the good the bad and Yeah, you do. Internal emotions are going to happen. External emotions, I guess, I don't know. Again, everybody's a little bit different. We look at it different. Like, I don't need to know your name to fuck you. And look, some couples are like, we don't fucking plan on the first date.

Rock on, you know, teacher.

teach her we're not that way look if the connection's there you know let's go fuck right we're we're okay with that everybody's a little different i don't need to know very much about you to know you very long to know whether or not i i want i you know i want to bang you i i just i just don't mm-hmm i i know that just beat and greets right right away right away just saying anyway so um that's a story we're not sharing uh anyway so uh i mean i could i met a lot of people so anyways you're a social butterfly i am social and by the end i was a horny social butterfly to say it I was buzzing with a boner anyway so uh but we don't need to know a lot about you to you know either we click or we don't mm-hmm and that works for us right so emotions with an honest couple does not have to be there if we really it's not a prerequisite for us one of the things i think the reason a it's our personality types to you know we're one night stand that stayed together 27 years so it's it's in our dna kids uh but i mean i knew your name yeah he did and i remembered it that tells you how good i was uh anyway no i'm just kidding but i think not getting to know people is it was it was an easy way to make sure that that didn't happen you know it it gave you a safe distance a little bit to just have sex and have fun if you're not comfortable that well then obviously you shouldn't do that again what key to understanding here we talk crazy truth but we don't tell you how you're supposed to do it so it's whatever works because everybody has their own process they have to go through right it's whatever works best but there's the key it's a process you know let me go back when i talk about people feeling all the feelings they had before they hooked up i kind of said we did not have that conversation before the very first time we hooked up because i didn't want to do anything to fucking jinx it i had been waiting so many lines one fucking yeah let's make this happen after that though we had we did we do a lot of times beforehand we talk about even if we're going to play alone wow you're feeling you're stoked you're excited you know whatever we we talk about it ahead of time we we continuously we don't always talk about the lifestyle which is funny because this is what i do full-time is is chasma but we still don't talk about the lifestyle all the time but before we're going to an event or before we're going to have a hookup or something it's pretty pretty much the main topic of conversation.

It saves a whole lot of bullshit if everything's worked out ahead of time. When I had somebody play over here at our house, which is the first time I'd ever done that, we had a lot of conversation about that.

We had conversation about the rules which they're really our rules we're at a point in our life our rules are pretty simple but you're a big rule for you is not my bed you know our bed is our bed i have an office that has a bed it's not an office it's a spare bedroom but you know that that you know that was like the that was like the rule i mean which we already knew and we already agreed on and that one single female created that rule yeah yeah and the very first single female yeah guys we learned the hard way the very first single female created that rule so but we still talked about it we still i still made sure you were okay with stuff you still made sure i was okay with stuff before i went and picked the young lady up i talked to you and said you know basically always giving that at that any point in time you could hit the object the abort button you know so we still talked about but if you talk about when you learn to do that ahead of time then what was the conversation when i picked you up did you have fun you know how was it and just the regular normal stuff we talked about for probably 20 minutes and then we're talking about your day at work okay your day was much more exciting than mine but i mean you know so seriously and here i was just envious because i wish i weren't wasn't at work and he was playing.

He was like, this sucks, I mean, you know, so seriously. And here I was just envious because I wish I wasn't at work and was playing. You're just like, this sucks. I hate my job. That's happened twice now. Damn it. Quit doing that. Hey, one, I was paying off. There was an ode factor. It was wonderful.

There was like three weeks in a row, two weeks in a row that I was a big fan of Mondays and Tuesdays ins and a week it was three weeks in a row that's okay who's counting but see that's the kind of stuff see we can laugh and joke about it because we communicate about it okay so because i don't know where we're out of time so i want i guess i should look at that you have five minutes okay real quick i want to hit on the last part of it which is what do you do when emotions have when emotions run wild on you when emotions when you have the emotions and maybe you know there they are and and now we have basically and now we have an issue because that's the last part of the questions i get all the time is you know i think he is i think she is you know it usually involves the l word uh whatever the fortunately ours have never went to that point that we had to step in with that.

Okay. I will say this on, as I said to you last night when we were driving, on the other part, on the poly relationship, communication. Running away is never an option. Communication is the right way to go okay even with three people even if it involves you know l words and q words and p words and stuff um i don't know what a q word could be i just made that up anyways uh quiver quiver uh anyways when it when it's reached that point it is seriously you have to be willing you have to stop you you when it has reached that We'll be right back.

it when it's reached that point it is seriously you have to be willing you have to stop you you when it has reached that point you have to stop you have to address it i mean the my biggest thing and honesty is a big key yes honesty as a couple with another couple with another single person And everybody has to be honest. Lying to one person and then lying to another person, it just causes a disaster in very awkward situations. And even there's one other person you've got to say with that. The person in the mirror. Yes.

You have to look when emotions get to that point, you have to start with the person in the mirror, and you have to be honest. And you know what? Here's the deal. Could it be painful? It very well could be. That happens. But you have to be honest. And at that point in time, the honesty, the honest conversations have to come out.

At that point in time, you have to put away the just wanting to get your your junk wet and that part of it okay and you have to put all that away and you have to go to what is really really most important you know which is hopefully your relationship or or you know with your significant other or whatever your dynamics i'm not we're not we don't judge that as far as that goes but you have to be honest you have to come at that point in time there's no longer any waiting we don't judge on anything no we don't but it's not going to look it's not going to get any easier and and if you just continue to you know pile more shit on top of it it it's not going to solve itself it's not magic you have to go and you have to address it and it is about honesty you know all the way i know what i'm gonna name this show honest emotions because that's really really the key all the way through with this at all points in the lifestyle and in and when you're dealing with other people look we feel emotions all the time we feel emotions with people you work you don't have to fuck somebody to get emotions from that's how affairs happen every fucking day let alone when you start putting sex involved with it but you have to communicate you have to be honest you have to be willing to look and see and see when shit is starting to go.

When you're starting to feel different, whatever. You have to be honest. You have to address it. And you have to be willing to listen. And you have to be willing to be rational. These are all keys that, look, if you do these things, the lifestyle can be a blast. Okay. Yes. There's always a disclaimer out there that there are victims of the lifestyle every single day. The roadway, the roadway of swinging is littered with, with shattered couples that were the lifestyle or victims of lifestyle. It doesn't have to be that way.

Sometimes it's just a matter of knowing when you need to take the exit and get off the ramp or get off the interstate. But if you will communicate and you will work and strive to have that, you're going to find that your swinging experience is going to be way better. The more you communicate, your swinging experience is going to rock. And number two, your relationship is going to kick ass. All the way through.

Well, that was just a fucking deep show, wasn't it what the hell happened man i don't know oh quick here i'll try to lighten up pussy pussy dick penis now stop it schlong stop anal beads you still have to drive your little anal anal plugs yeah i haven't done that anyways all right so with that with that i'm being communicated with that i need to get off the air all right, so with that, I'm being communicated with it. I need to fucking get off the air. Weird. All right, so with that, again, thank you so very much for listening.

Don't forget to visit us at www.crazykazba.com or to get tickets for the big Crazy Winter Nights party that you don't want to miss, www.crazy, that's crazy with a K, crazywinternights..com Get your tickets January 17th through the 19th. You don't want to miss it. So, for the time being, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever will, Kazma Style, out.