Krazy Truth #62 Diving into Polyamory

Transcript

Speaker1: people used our stupid shit hey kids the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations adult language themes and other adult topics if you're easily offended this show's not for you natural pines resort the adult playground over 120 acres for your nudist lifestyle fun go out each week and see their different themes and activities they've got going on visit them at www.naturalpinesresort.com let them know your good friend casbah sent you and don't forget august 2nd through the 4th we're having our big crazy summer nights out at natural pines resort see you then hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth i am your host with the most i am cole i'm here with the lovely lovely miss amanda hey and we've got sound guy trying all kinds of new shit so we're driving him absolutely insane they should with us too no shit that's what are you Are you deferring me? I bet you have a big white scuffs on your sunglasses. Well, it's because I grabbed the wrong pair. My other pair is somewhere else. I don't know where they're at. The nice thing is when you have 250 pairs of sunglasses floating around your house, you always have a pair handy. Fuck the bat single, man. I got shades at the ready. So I'm like, ah. Okay. All ah okay uh all right so hey so here's the deal uh this would be season two episode 30 or in real life it is actually season two episode 62 uh of the crazy truth why are you looking at me like that how are you remembering that because i'm smart as a fucking whip the whole first season you couldn't remember what number you look i'm happy just to be here because i do the other stuff and if you're watching so you see us on these videos uh that we'll be posting soon uh you see our new window stickers our our show your crazy casbah pride fuck off window stickers uh and oh here there you hold this up yeah hold this up we've got the crazy casbah uh shirts first round of shirts are in so show your pride tell the rest world to suck it and um do the casbah way that's what it's all about higher my arms are short quick quick stat somebody hurry and get the somebody hurry and get the fucking studio the step stool you know we need to have in here we're gonna have to pin some of this stuff up on our wall back here somewhere so we need to get a shirt for our uh mascot there our our kangaroo the closest thing i'm allowed to get a real kangaroo the stuff it is the closest thing it's so awesome okay so uh here's the deal i there was there sex stories sure, probably. What the hell? Oh, hell is broken. The sound guy.
Speaker2: Oh, that's bad.
Speaker3: There we go.
Speaker1: There's our good buddy, the kangaroo. This is the closest thing I'm ever going to get to a real kangaroo right here. Still miss Amanda.
Speaker3: Thanks.
Speaker2: No, I know.
Speaker3: Hoppy.
Speaker1: We need to come up with a good sexual name for him. Like a porn name for the kangaroo.
Speaker3: Now nobody can see me. Okay, sit here hey look pito's starting to listen to our show gosh what is a good name somebody help us come up with a good name somebody so hey here's the if you help us name the kangaroo it's got to be a good name help us name the kangaroo you get a free a free patch we'll send you a free crazy casper patch that's what we'll do for the best name okay i keep thinking boinging it's boinger uh all right so somewhere there was something fucked up that happened involved somebody's pussy or penis if it was really fucked up it was probably Florida uh but anyway so cough gags butter so hey we got a couple really good questions though tonight and so uh and actually either one of these questions I don't know if we're even gonna get to both of them tonight that show that's how good the questions are okay so here's the deal again I'm going to start this off we talk about serious subjects right and sometimes we crack jokes so uh it just no we're laughing with you not at you uh but so it is what it is okay and away we go okay so the first question comes to us from t and t and they're in iowa I almost started singing, but that'd be copyright infringement. No, it's not copyright infringement if you say. No, because no one wants to hear me sing. It's all good. It can be scary. Oh, hey, you know what? I actually saw a total side note before we get to the question from Tnt so we're on i'm on the swing stock page okay okay so somebody put hey does anybody know who the two uh who the professional wrestlers were that were at swing stock and so somebody else put on there hey look what happens at swing stock stays at swing stock so what i'm doing is i'm putting out there right now look if you're one of the professional wrestlers uh that were there and you're a swinger get a hold of us we we want to we want to talk to you rock on so that would be i i know we have some people like that we have some a-listers on our page our secret page shh crazy caspa facebook uh anyway so i know we have they have to email you first right but uh yeah so to let us know so that's pretty cool okay so let's get back to the question from tnt uh in iowa and this is a really this is should have come over the different one this is a really this is a really unique question okay uh so the question is this they are having they are experiencing some new challenges okay so let me give you the background because i've talked to these folks and so i've got the background story so they are a relatively new couple okay okay so they're dating uh one of them is a very very experienced swinger in the lifestyle okay uh 15 plus years okay the other one is brand new to swinging has some kink experience but is brand new to swinging okay okay experience and so the challenge that they are having is there is a uh is is how to uh one partner totally is is so they're both very supportive of each other, and they're communicating well, which is awesome. But one is all in on – she's all in on him playing, okay? She's still going through the newbie swinger things of her plane okay and so how how do you deal with how do you how do you work with that and and people go well well that seems like an odd question it's really not because it happens all the time in the lifestyle if you go to most any uh websites uh whether it be paid sites whether it be like our secret page whether it be reddit you name it you will see a lot of times where we're in there's a relationship where one person's been in the lifestyle for a long time or it has experience in the lifestyle and the other person doesn't so this is a very real thing that people deal with okay out there okay so i think for me the first part of this whole thing is step one that they're doing really really well is they're communicating about it okay so what you have here is you have a couple that understands this is something that you can't just ignore you can't just like hope it magically solves itself this is not lucky fucking charms this is you know you have to talk about it uh whatever now here's this couple doesn't live together no so so you know they're having to communicate they're having to they're having to work to communicate so hey kids let's take just a second and throw this out here part of a successful relationship is it takes work right so they're literally having to work to communicate with this because we had phone calls and texts and plus in-person stuff as they go. Right.
Speaker1: Okay? So to me, the first thing is you have to communicate. You have to be very, very honest about the concerns and the fears.
Speaker3: And feelings.
Speaker1: And the feelings. Okay?
Speaker3: So I guess the first part of this would be how i want your opinion as a woman yeah okay yep you're a woman checking your boobs uh so the uh the first thing with it is because in this case the guy is the more experienced okay how much should how much is too much on trying on his part of trying to work through this in terms of typical guy thing is to just go, I'm trying to see how to do this. I want to make sure we're married 26 years too. Is to go, you want to take in and you want to make somebody understand, but you don't want to take in and try to. Sometimes it's just easier to just go well fuck it never mind let's go that way so so how how much how much do you think is too much for a guy to try to make sure that a woman understands their point of view and tries to get across that message which message well okay number one i think the first that's a great question the first question is what's the message you're trying to get across i think the first message that you have to get across to the new person is it's okay to be feeling that way i mean really when you think about it we were all new at one point in time. I think that it is, my personal opinion, it's probably easier, right,
Speaker1: to have went through all these steps that you go through together as a couple versus when one's ahead of the other.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: Okay, let me back up. I'm not doing this right. Jeez, it's like my first fucking time.
Speaker3: God.
Speaker1: Okay, for those of you that don't know, there are steps that every single couple goes through when you start swinging yes okay there is there is jealousy there is guilt there is confusion there is there is all kinds of shit right that's more leading up to it though no no well i mean yes okay expand no okay
Speaker2: with certain aspects of it okay jealousy yeah that's gonna come and go until you're extremely comfortable and then sometimes it can still creep up when you least expect it and all of a sudden Squirt.
Speaker3: There's jealousy.
Speaker2: You're a dork.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker2: But then yet,
Speaker1: there's other things that are like initial like the guilt you move past the guilt right but you move past it together right because you both feel it i i mean i'm sure i can't speak for you but i'm sure some swingers right now are going, I never felt guilty about it at all. She said it was okay. He said it was okay. We fucked. It was awesome. Playing alone, yes, I think there would be more guilt. Well, but I mean, I think initially there's a little bit of you. You sit there after the first time and go, I just had sex with somebody else. Yeah, she was there, but I just, you know, fuck somebody else. I mean, I think there can be guilt. Maybe not guilt so much, but there is jealousy. There is, I think some people go through a form of guilt. I think that it's just weird is what it is. It's a weird feeling the first time. Look, the first time you fuck somebody else or you watch your significant other fuck somebody else, there's a part of you that goes, that's fucking hot, but that's my wife, or that's fucking hot, but that's my husband, and that's confusing, right? But when you go through it together at the same pace, the things you're talking about are the same, right? So when I when i'm going hey this is how i felt i mean
Speaker2: it was hot but it was like you were getting hammered by this dude and it wasn't me now has this have have they played as a couple they have played as a couple one time now okay so suggestion is right after you play for the first time is to sit down and go minute by minute over details and communicate feelings and concerns and, you know, your thought about the whole thing. Very true. Play it out. Because I remember our first time hooking up with somebody and we got in the car and the hour ride home seemed like five minutes because we went through every detail there was and talked about how we felt about it, what our concerns were, you know, were you okay with this? Were you okay with that? Right. And so I agree with you 100%. So in this case, the advantage of having one person having been in a lifestyle longer is, here's the deal, you can instigate some of those questions. What you have to do is you have to think back to what you went through when you were new so maybe if if the other partner doesn't bring up a question or doesn't bring up a point maybe steer them in that direction okay so from your standpoint being that first time because that was such a memorable occasion it was fucking let's take take a nail and shove it i thought it was hot and you come out five years later and say you know if you would have said it was horrible we would have never gone back because i did not like it at all so you know maybe that's i don't know if that's a common first time type of thing i don't but it's possibility i don't know if it's common but i think that i think it's for a guy but see they have something similar with this because she has said i want you to go it she did say it was hot watching him with another girl okay okay so that's that's good because if if that hadn't been hot at all then you need to consider is this the right thing to do that was hot so that's a plus and she wants him to continue she she knew all the way through he was in the lifestyle and all you know wants that to continue all the way through so i just like i didn't say oh my god i hated it i think some people instead of saying i hated it they say i want you to go ahead and do it okay so from your standpoint of being the one that wasn't necessarily well i can't say hated it because it was hot but then yet it was awkward and it was a bad it was a bad first experience for you so yeah so what how what made you want to do it the second time well okay and that's an awesome that's an awesome question because that's the really key point the our first experience sucked ass for me not because of sex okay this is the part where it gets all fucking mind fucked in here
Speaker1: a my dick never got hard it just got yanked off so i never stuck my dick in anything other than you okay the sex and you fucking the other guy or what i perceived or whatever that part was hot it was the rest of the bullshit around it that made it a shitty experience so the first thing Thank you. that part was hot it was the rest of the bullshit around it that made it a shitty experience so the first thing i would post to them is okay if if the watching the sex was was hot right then you know what here's the deal that's the part that's supposed to be hot that that's the part that you're you're in the right frame of it it's having the proper effect if that part makes you nauseous or that part you go oh my god i don't ever want to see that again that's where the lifestyle is not for you so now you have to take a look at what are the other outside things that is that's really you need to analyze to see where the actual issue is yes you had to look you have to analyze the shit out of it. For the person that has experience, you have to be patient as fuck. Okay? You have to be patient. You have got to go back and look at and think back. Think hard and remember your first time and all those first time emotions.'s a challenge we have anyway okay we play we play alone right so now and we didn't start playing until we've been in it seven years you still had to go back to the very how it began because that was such a change to rethink about those emotions because we get just so used to it so if you've been in a while you have to think about it you have to really go back there and you have to be you have to be patient you have to I'm sorry.
Speaker2: I'm sorry.
Speaker1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker3: I'm sorry. get just so used to it so if you've been a while you have to think about it you have to really
Speaker1: go back there and you have to be you have to be patient you have to revisit it you've got to watch your partner for like how they're actually perceiving shit you know what i mean because just because okay yeah yeah i get it well you got to read people and go yeah no they really don't yet you know but nancy says i think the important thing is to let her take her time don't pressure her to do it and nancy you are absolutely 100 correct i okay i think that you have to well i'm gonna say you're 99.999 well pressure you pressure too much, you pressure too much, they're really going to back off. Right, but I think that you have to, I think that you absolutely don't, no one should do anything they're not comfortable with. But I think you should look for maybe some other alternatives. Let me give you a little more of the backstory with this, with TNT. One of the biggest challenges that one of the tees is having is having never been in a swinger had been kinkster a little bit had come out of the kink side which is totally different ball game everybody knows that that's totally different ball game but to to the to the swinger side is they still feel like if if she's getting laid bucked by somebody else, that's cheating. Okay. That's cheating. So, and she's, we're going to try to, how to, you know, overcome that. It's easy when you're 20 years old to change is easy. When you're our age, it's not as easy, right? You know, I mean, it's, it's all new learned new learned experiences my phrase is always it's not cheating if he knows right exactly or she knows right so but my thing would be is okay so the first thing you tried was a full swab maybe look at trying uh maybe look at at trying something different like my suggestion is try threesome with another guy so you have two so you have two guys I don't know. trying something different like my suggestion is try threesome with another guy so you have two so you have two guys right he's but he's involved with the touching right and the and and to help reassure now here's a here's a thought now quick we need a joke in here real quick no no not not everybody does it but i'm a big advocate in it is you're you're fucking the other person the other you switched but occasionally go back so there's reassurance and then go back right yeah some sometimes switching back doesn't just have to be because somebody's having an issue you know know, so there's more like interaction. Maybe be a little closer to each other. Maybe so that there can be actual physical contact. So while I'm fucking her and you're getting fucked by him. Were they doing the same room? I believe so. Okay. They were doing the same room, but maybe be closer. I mean, look, to some people this is going going to sound stupid but it's after 27 years of being together in a relationship swinging and a relationship there's not that much difference not really so there are times that the power of of of contact of skin on skin right is super powerful for us so here's the if if and we've had that where you're having sex super close to each other and doesn't mean you both have to be within you know that you're just like fucking rubbing non-stop but there's something to be said that you've done to me will be with another couple and just you touching my arm it's not just taking away you're not not paying attention to the guy that you're having sex with or vice versa just that that contact again reassurance little little reassurance things are like huge and i think that's great switch back switch take a second so alternate you know do for so long and then let's switch and then let's switch back well and and here's the thing you don't have to if if the full swap if you have to talk about it and and the key is one party can't come up with all the the ideas of how to try stuff you know i mean yeah so like and the reason i say is because as like as a guy right i want to be a fixer right so if there's some guy that you're really interested in and you don't feel like he's fucking giving you enough attention or you know i've been tempted to and i have sent a message saying hey here's the deal right so the thing is is again communicate it let's try what if we tried this what do you think that goes? What if we tried this? What do you think? That goes a long fucking ways. So maybe there's some things she goes, well, okay, we could try that. But you want to make sure, just like anything else, you both are equally involved in the decision. One of the challenges TNT has is they're a brand new couple. Okay, so we had been together 18, 19 years before we ever made the decision before we ever tried this so we had a history of us before we started going us plus penis or us plus penis and pussy you know we had we had to get we had us so we knew us so when you're still trying to learn the other person yeah you're still trying to learn us make sure that everybody's inclusive in the decision now i reached out to him and obviously i talked to to one of the t's and uh one of the big things that i said because again one of the t's is coming from an experience of it's cheating and like more the kink, which is a totally different mindset than a swinger, is talking about to take, well, if you take emotion out, it's just sex, but how you do that, whatever the case may be. It's like, okay, if you go back to think about sex, and I don't care how long you've been doing this. Everybody should do this. Everybody actually, here's your homework, kids. No care how long you've been doing this everybody should do this everybody actually here's your homework kids no matter how long you've been swinging them how long you've been together you should all take at least like once a year it's like getting a free credit report you know you check your credit once a year right you know you you do you do regular routine maintenance on your car you do you go to the doctor for an annual physical okay you should do you should really do in lifestyle like a an annual or semi-annual like sex check that's what it's called sex check which is actually it's a mental check okay okay i mean the sex check is you know do i get wet yep do i get hard yep okay that part works good but the the mental part of it is where it is. And here's how you do this. You take and use the sales rules. Okay. And when you sell stuff, it's the, the 10, 80, 10 rule. All right. If you're selling like cars, like I might know about this. 10% of the people are going to walk in and just fucking buy anything you say. Oh my God, I got to have it. to be douche fucks and not buy it no matter if you gave it away for free you worry about the 80 in the middle okay so it's the same thing with the sex check so as you do throw out your greatest sexual experience just throw it out disregard it throw out your worst sexual experience get rid throw it out. Disregard it. Throw out your worst sexual experience. Get rid of it. Okay. Now, how were the other 80% of the sexual experiences? And here's the key that you check on. This is how you can gauge how you're doing in the lifestyle. Were the other 80% where they equally did it feel equally good with your partner as it did with somebody else because here's why i say this sex feels the same i don't care what anybody says look you've got a hole it's wet for the most part it's going to feel the same for the most part there's minimal mineral minerals there's minerals in there it's mineral water there's minimal changes okay for a woman as a general rule a dick is a dick some might be small you might not get as much some might be big might stretch out kind of weird right but most part average sex is sex so how did it feel look if all of a sudden you start going well it always feels better with the the best ones are all with somebody else you might have a problem in your relationship you know what i mean because i'm telling you telling you, a pussy's a pussy, a dick's a dick. It is what it is. There's not that much that tells you there's something else going on there. But if you go, yeah, the sex in my life is good, okay? In fact, my best sex is still, the sex I enjoy the most is still with my partner. Why? Because you still have the connections and all the other part of it. This is sport fucking. This is real life. And I do this enough. It's like jacking off. Okay, so, I mean, the thing is, and that's key. So do that. If you're new in a relationship, and in this case, helping TNT to understand the difference, have them do a sex check. Because when they really realize the fact that when they can see that a dick's a dick, it's going to feel, it's pretty much going to feel the same. It's the emotion, it's in the head. That's the difference. Then it's easier to understand why swinging when both people know what's going on is not cheating you know that's when they get in okay so last week i had a fun week right yep i had a fun week you were at your job making money being responsible doing what you're supposed to do i was at my job which is out of the house and i had playtime Thank you. job making money being responsible doing what you're supposed to do i was at my job which is out of the house and i had play time did it and and it was on it was on a monday i love mondays anyways didn't know but did you knew when it was starting and everything else even though you knew when it was going to start did it it did it affect you at work no because we had communicated we knew what was going on with it right okay take that same scenario back seven years ago what would you have got accomplished at work nothing not a goddamn thing but it's a but it's about that communication and that understanding and all the rest now had you met the person no that i was playing with on monday no still did it bother you no i was jealous i couldn't be home right exactly there was jealousy because you had to be at work and you couldn't be able to play play. I want to be home playing. But that comes with time because here's the thing. We have that. We do the sex checkup. Okay, so we know that that sex is fucking. That's sport fucking. That's not relationship sex. But we also, you, after everything was done, you gave me a play-by-play yes i did which is awkward when you're at work and people can overhear you and i was not talking quietly give signals and i can't answer all the way i want to i can't tell you that right now right but it but it was and that's the thing so we but we communicate but that's when i knew how we communicated after the fact and that's the key so you know again it it's not an easy path but it is what it is okay so real quick we're going to take a quick break and hear from our second sponsor uh and then we'll be right back we're gonna keep talking about this question okay hey folks have you ever wanted to get to proudly show off your support for the crazy truth and crazy casbah now's your chance visit us online at www.crazycasbah.com you can learn about the on-air talent miss amanda and that other guy cole you can learn about the sound guy learn where we came from and why is our theme, fuck off You can get merchandise And so much more Learn about our crazy winter nights That's coming up very, very soon And even submit your application Or someone that you know That deserves to win The Casbah Lifestyle of the Year award Visit us today www.crazycasbah.com And. Okay, so. Why do you say that this whole way? So, you know, as we've talked about TNT and kind of all those things, I guess the biggest thing I want people to know is that if you communicate completely and if you take however much time it takes to get so everybody truly understands, you can overcome any problem or challenge. Well, and then another suggestion is don't give up after just one try. That is exactly it. I say try things at least twice before you say absolutely not. Well, and try a different setting. I mean, there's so many. Look, there's so many things in life. And this is where, again, for whoever is the more experienced of the two, keep that in mind. There's all these different things that happen, different experiences. Look, some people, a group of people around, they're just not going to perform or they're not going to feel as comfortable it's not going to be as good some people want people around some people you know some people need more to a dinner and to get more comfortable with the other couple ahead of time there's so many different scenarios just remember we were all new ones right so you have to take and try to kind of find that happy medium now maybe it won't ever work there's no guarantees in this whole thing yeah you have no right but it's worth a shot to get to to find out but keep trying and here's the thing tnt uh i know you guys are listening give us an update let us know you know that well seriously i want to i want to know you know if anything we say helps if not well then you know send us notes tell us to fuck off it wouldn't be the first time no who wouldn't that's a good one yeah it was a good one all right are you ready are you ready for round two ding ding i don't know am i no probably not actually okay
Speaker2: see some some shows are lighter than others i i don't know the questions and you're awfully antsy
Speaker1: Thank you. Okay. See, some shows are lighter than others. I don't know the questions, and you're awfully antsy. No, this is a good one. This is going to push us, make us better as people. Okay. All right, so this question comes to us from a newer couple out of New York. Okay they didn't want initials they didn't want anything okay uh they they have been they have been in the lifestyle for about six months okay okay so their question uh is about they are contemplating uh becoming or being in a polyamorous relationship and so what they wanted to know was they wanted to know if they should I don't know. becoming or being in a polyamorous relationship. And so what they wanted to know was they wanted to know if they should, if they should, why or why not, and what they should watch out for or what they should look forward to. Okay, number one, before we go any further with this, there's a couple things that people we are very honest about hence why it's the crazy truth because we tell the truth okay we are not experts on poly relationships nor do we claim to be and when you're talking about poly relationships truly polyamorous relationships there are a shit ton of different definitions okay we are not qualified in any way shape or form to even list off all the different types of relationships there are okay so the biggest thing is we know what we don't know okay and this is something that this question sperm that we will have shows down the road that have folks that do understand are in poly relationships on the show that can actually answer these questions better so my thought was we have a little i'm gonna i'm gonna steer this towards kind of more what we know or more of the what the base swinger the swingers would know or how the swingers would relate to this okay which is a triad okay okay so before we go any further I think it's only for that we give our background a little bit okay okay yeah so we we had always said we would never be in a triad right okay uh never say never to anything no okay so we were in a triad in fact we we just within it's been this year within the last three months ish that that we ended that or that that ended it this is but it ended. ended okay so understand as we talk about this our number one goal is going to be to keep this on like any form of relationships out there there are positives there are negatives okay so the biggest thing we're not you know this we're not gonna bash we're not gonna do no we're not gonna we're not gonna yell false praises we're not gonna bash uh understand we can only talk based somewhat on our experience right of this okay so that's why that's why we can't even talk about a tribe because we've been in in it now depending on the day there are some days in the past couple months that we'd said we'd never do it again again never say never we didn't my biggest my first concern with the young couple from new york was and i wasn't able to get a hold of them okay so i wasn't able to get out a lot more detail to even research, like, depending on what type of polyrelationship they were talking about.
Speaker3: Mm-hmm. Okay?
Speaker1: It almost sounded like they were, like, looking for a polyrelationship. They were looking for that triad.
Speaker3: Okay. Okay?
Speaker1: The one thing I believe, at least, going out and looking for it is a really bad fucking idea. And it's not just a triad. Look at that. the one thing i believe at least going out looking for it is a really bad fucking idea and it's not just a triad look if you're single and it's been a long time since i've been single but if you're single and you are desperately looking for a girlfriend you will not find one look you can go and look for a puppy you can go and look for a car you can go and look for a house Let's go.
Speaker4: Let's go.
Speaker1: Let's go and look for a car you can go and look for a house if you go and look for a significant other nothing good happens that's something that just kind of has to just it just kind of has to happen okay for one so that's a dangerous what you're going to do and when you go out and you look for a significant other, you end up grabbing the first significant other, the first, you know, whether you're looking for a guy or girl, whatever it is, the first one you see that gives you an attention, you latch onto them like a fucking leech, and you're just like, I love you, never go away. And then that's bad. I mean, that's the potential for it to happen. Roundabout. I mean, I always tell always tell people you know when you talk to singles and they're all like gosh i wish i could find somebody quit looking you quit looking they're probably right underneath your nose no no shit and then they'll be right underneath you well here's the thing if you're out somewhere and if you're busy looking for the next possible boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, then your true personality is not showing. If you're just out having a great time, then all of your best qualities are going to show, in theory, are going to show. And all of a sudden, like you said, boom, there you go. There's that person and then the magic's in the air and blah, that would be a horse race bring it home for daddy uh no but then but then you know that when you're a triad when you're looking for that again it's not gonna be very real you know because your real personality isn't showing you're not just having fun whatever if if you let things just naturally occur as they're supposed to occur that's gonna be a huge plus for you right so that's my first thing don't i don't go searching i don't think okay let it find you let it let it just happen let naturally let it happen okay the next thing is and this is a big one and i think that we can we can appreciate this a lot for some reason in the swinging community and in the lifestyle there's like this huge fucking desire to label everything yeah label everything you know everything is we are a uh or you know we're all into uh bbw or this or that or we're a couple that exclusively does this or we only want that or you know and we label down and narrow down and narrow down we want to label everything so it happened with us there was a for quite a long time of the of of our of our poly experience we all all three avoided labels we refused to put labels on stuff and then we kind of caved and then because everybody else started putting labels on for us right so then all of a sudden the other person became uh our girlfriend or whatever or you know there also there was all these labels and it was just like that that creates an added weight i i think that was something that I can honestly say we thought we were ready for in terms of labels, but we weren't. Because all of a sudden it just went from just we're all having fun to all of a sudden it's like you felt like there was responsibility. It's like all of a sudden you got a business card made or some shit. i mean seriously like if you know as soon as somebody gets a little bit of a managerial title you know like it's like selling in sales as soon as you go from a salesperson to senior sales all of a sudden that like this that that word senior all of a sudden puts some added sort of goo into the fucking mix right so i guess the biggest thing is don't rush to put a title on it don't rush to be the first one to be to have to yell from mountaintops we're gonna try it don't i mean i mean if that's what you all want great but when you are ready to put titles on it or if you're ever ready to put titles on it then go with it six months into it why you know why rush into it well yeah look not saying that they aren't ready for it or not saying anything else but six months into it i don't know if you've really experienced that much to bring another person in and whether it's a male or a female right would depend but then yet you're gonna probably have some jealousy issues and you're gonna but maybe they're comfortable with it and that's okay well and and that's part of two is maybe it's not so much there are a lot of poly couples that are not swingers. There's one of the things that goes with the confusion of it. Poly does not necessarily equal swingers. Just like, okay, it's a form, polyamorous lifestyle, kinkster lifestyle, swinger lifestyle. The rest of the world goes, oh, it's all the same. No, it's not. Okay, there's lot of of polyamorous relationships that they are not swingers right they are not kinksters they would be highly offended they have the same issues hold the hang-ups whatever the case may be out against swingers that that your quote-unquote regular couple would okay so i think one thing the young couple has to decide is are you are you looking at it from a swinger standpoint or from a polyamorous standpoint if you're out looking really you don't want to swing you want a polyamorous relationship there are groups out there that can help you and and really give you great insight with that kind of stuff because just assume somebody else, like to be on a polyamorous group and to help that relationship form and think, oh, by the way, we're swingers. There could be some people going, wait a minute, what? You know, so you have to, you have to understand.
Speaker2: Because what ours had some label of because we were open.
Speaker1: Because we were.
Speaker2: And she was open.
Speaker1: Right. And we allowed everybody else to have sex with somebody else it was totally it was totally uh one of our friends says cracks the joke that with polyamorous relationships you need a whiteboard because there's so many different things and and that's why again we say we're not experts but it's true i i guess my my if you are a swinger wanting to add a third okay number one swing a little bit and give yourself some time i okay my first thought that kicks in at that point in time is every dude's fantasy right every guy's fantasy would go man it would be awesome a threesome is awesome every guy wants a threesome with two girls, right? That's what every guy wants. Not every guy, but 99.99%, whatever. And then you have that. And it fucking rocks. I mean, it rocks. I could have one every day. I won't grow tired of it. I thoroughly enjoy that. That kicks ass. But then it goes to the assumption, wouldn't it be awesome if that was your life if okay so all of a sudden we're going from like the pages of a magazine to like real life that you have this is your relationship like any relationship there's good and there's bad okay when you have another person's emotion into a relationship uh look that's another level of responsibility and and understand please make sure you're getting it that everybody gets this we're not saying poly is good or bad we have a very good very good friends of ours that have been in poly relationships for a long time they're currently in one that's been a long long time and very successful they love it it's great rock on but even he well even they will say there are challenges there okay it just is what it is i know from a a movie standpoint swinger sex not swinger but porn thought process the fact of every night you know i'm in the middle of a giant fucking bed and i lean over and give miss amanda a kiss good night and i lean over and give fucking you know suzy a kiss good night and i sit back naked and i just go oh seems perfect but there's more hours to the day than that right so you you have to as you get into something like that you need to understand that we have also seen what started off as a triad and here's the from here on i'm going to refer to as poly because i don't think that's fair to the community again going back to a triad the swinger version or what we know we have seen triad situations go horribly fucking south okay because of jealousy and shit like that because all of a sudden what started out as a triad situation in theory turned into a home wrecking situation yeah not just once we've seen this multiple times we have seen multiple times and here's the thing nobody that was not the plan of anybody in the beginning well and there was also one that had a young female brought in yes and i had to do some counseling of you can't expect her to just clinch on and not want to carry on
Speaker2: a different, you know.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: We just, you can't expect her to just clinch on and not want to carry on a different, you know. Yeah. We joke all the time. We joke all the time and say, if we got divorced right now, which would be funny as fuck, but if we got divorced right now, neither one of us would start fucking dating a 20-something. No. Because neither one of us want to re-break somebody in. We broke each other and're good we're in our 40s i don't want that shit so yeah when you you know we've seen it where where it ended just literally just like that you when you start bringing somebody in and just like the ones that went horribly south again it was nobody's intention that's the thing is is everybody starts off with great intentions with these but when it goes south or if it goes south it can have some serious consequences and you need to know and understand that the one person that we know that has uh that's been in a polyamorous relationship for years, how many third girl, second girl has there been? You know, I don't honestly know. I don't know. Because I'd be curious to know that number. Because, you know, well, how many girlfriends have you had? Well, and I don't think it's super many. I think they've been pretty long-term. But they're also, they came through the kink side and through the polyamorous side of the lifestyle. So when, as those developed, they had the resources there to understand it and the education. And it sounds because you know well we don't need education for sex but yeah when you get into triads and you get into some of those things it's more than just sex that's that's the part people don't get is that it's more than just sex so you know when when and again it's hard because i you we fully on our page and everything we do we're we are totally supportive of polyamorous and we're totally supportive of kinksters and totally life swingers in the whole nine yards so but it's just i think that so many people at least in the swingers standpoint of it they have this false sense of what it is right and they they have this false sense of what it's sense of what you're going to do or how this is magically going to happen. And you have to keep that in mind. I guess the thing is, there is no easy answer. And again, they want to know what should we do or shouldn't we do it. Nobody can answer that for you. No one can answer that answer that no nobody can answer for you whether or not
Speaker2: it's right for you that's communication between you two and well and and there's a thing possibly
Speaker1: you three and that's the other part of this it's about communication and it has to be very very honest communication uh are there things to look out for we can't tell you what the things are to look out for everybody's situation is completely different what the things are to look out for. Everybody's situation is completely different. What all the parties want is completely different. What you're looking for, what, you know, is there, is there a kink aspect to it? Is it just a swinger aspect to it? Is there, you know, whatever the case may be. So we can't tell you if there is a, you know, what to look out for uh is it positive or negative nobody can tell you that either again those are all that's the thing with it that's i guess the biggest word of caution i would throw out to the young couple from new york is you're asking a lot of questions hoping for someone else to give you answers that when you're dealing with humans and human emotions and other people nobody can give you those answers those are all things that you have to discover on your own and you and your partner and and in this case if you're gonna make somebody else in them as well have to discover and work through there is no set manual that goes oh well page 12 yep we're compatible great it doesn't work like that you know it just doesn't it's like any other I don't know. set manual that goes oh well page 12 yep we're compatible great it doesn't work like that you know it just doesn't it's like any other relationship look if relationships were easy there would never be divorces okay and that's a relationship between two people so how many couples have we seen become victims of the lifestyle a fucking lot right because and that's just spending one night or one time fucking somebody else so you know when you bring in a third person uh look some of the greatest bands in in modern rock history they'll talk about it all the time interviews with david lee roth and van halen with kiss they all they've said it before a band is like marriage but try to imagine making a marriage work with four people well it Van Halen, with Kiss. They all, they've said it before, a band is like a marriage, but try to imagine making a marriage work with four people. Well, it's the same thing with polyamorous relationship. Try to imagine, you know, taking all the regular shit of a relationship and making it work with another person. That has to be included in all parts of it because it does affect all parts of their life as well. So if you don't know, if you're asking those types of questions, I strongly encourage and invite you to do more research. Do more research. Reach out to other polyamorous groups and educators in your area that can probably provide way better examples, way more examples, and maybe help guide you and things to look for and not look for whatever the case may be i i think you should do that right uh if you're just looking at it from porn sex standpoint okay have a threes have a threesome have friends with benefits have fun don't put a label on it and still and but i mean still. But just have fun with it a little bit. You know, and that's the way it should have to go that way. So, oh, looky there. What, we're done? Really? How long did we go tonight? Is this like 60 minutes? Is it 50, 51? Can we go longer? Can we go longer? Harder? Can we talk for a quick second? Longer, harder. Hey, real quick, I want to talk about we are doing Crazy Summer Nights. It'll be about a week away when this show is aired. I just said summer, right?
Speaker4: Yeah, you did say summer.
Speaker3: Sweet.
Speaker1: So make sure you check out. Hey, join our page, man. Send us an email at crazy.casba at gmail.com if you want to be part of our secret Facebook page. We really would like to have more people. We are closing on 3,000 members on that page. We're almost at 13,000 followers on another page. We've got a lot of people talking to us. And we'd like you to be a part of the family as well. And throwing a quick thing out here. Hey, if you are a business, Crazy Winter Nights, we are about to raise the bar. It's uh to be the largest party in the midwest and probably the largest party in the country this winter uh we're gonna hear january 17th to the 19th if you're a business and you would like an opportunity uh to make a huge impact and reach out to the kink and uh swearing community then you need to let us know we want to talk to you and we want you all there because it's going to be a blast. A hotel with 80,000 square feet of space, we have it all. There's not a single vanilla anywhere to be seen. Anyways, so we'll be making more announcements about those. It's coming through. But we love you guys all. We appreciate all the support. Don't forget to get us. Find all the places you can follow us twitter uh facebook all the places there's a whole list i'm coming up make sure you do all those uh so a quick shout out to our sponsors again uh natural pines resorts the adult playground remember they have theme weekends every single weekend you can visit them at www.naturalpinesresort.com make sure you go check them out not. Not just at our event on August 2nd through the 4th. It's also my birthday weekend. Birthday. But you can check them out. They have events all year long. Make sure you do. Over 120 acres of pure adult fun. Nah. And also, don't forget that you can check us out as well. Learn more about us at www.crazykazba.com. Buy merch, please. And learn about some of our newsletter and all the insanity that goes with it. That's all I got. So, until next time, do it the only way I know how. The only way I want to. The only way I ever fucking will. Kazba Style, out.
Speaker3: Bye.