Krazy Truth #53 Can you get enough?

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Natural Pines Resort, the adult playground. Over 120 acres to enjoy and relax. Whether you're a nudist or whether you're in your lifestyle visit our good friends at natural pines resort at www.naturalpinesresort.com make sure you let them know that casbah sent you and don't forget we'll see you all at the big casbah birthday bash weekend august 2nd through the 4th. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. We're recording on a special day. I'm your host with the most. I am Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and chilly Miss Amanda.
Speaker2: Hey.
Speaker3: It's cold.
Speaker1: It's not cold.
Speaker3: It's always cold.
Speaker1: You're wearing a coat. Well, and I'm still sweating. Of course you are. That's the way we roll because I'm hot. Hot, baby. Tssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss be fun. It's a different night. It gets us all excited. It gets us pumped up, rammed up, jacked up. Lots of ups in there. I guess so. Okay. So, you know, there's been all kinds of weird sex stuff coming out in the news. I don't even have a list of all of it. There's been stories coming out. You have to watch because there are so many cool new things. Using droid. These are not the drones you were looking for. Drones. Droids's not a droid it's a drone a drone is a dildo that was something i saw this week i saw that that's an old one though i saw that jacking off at work during taking breaks makes you healthier i haven't so you know here's something there's all kinds of cool stuff like that uh hey you know now the thing is is we did not get uh anything really good on hate mail this week which is disappointing uh but we we did get another letter why do you want people to hate you yeah you know it's fun uh it gives us something to talk about okay you know it is what it is but we did get a couple of nice letters from some different folks around the country that said we do a good job so there you go so hey tim in pennsylvania fuck you people like us all right uh so we're gonna get we're gonna delve right into the heart the meat and potatoes of the show okay ready are you ready all right so the first question comes to us from anonymous we have a lot of you can tell they're good questions when they're anonymous. But this one comes to us actually from Wyoming. This is our first question from Wyoming that we've had. I know, something new. We need a big map we can pin stuff on. Anyway, so the question is, in the lifestyle, is there such a thing as too much playing? Is there such a thing as too much playing is there such a thing as too many playmates and it's like now that's a damn good question right there so uh when i got a hold of anonymous it is it's a him i hope i didn't give too much away anyways when i got a hold of him uh mr anonymous the the crutch of the question is is that in a groups and stuff that they're involved there's some people that play a lot and is there is there is at some point in time does it go from fun sex to just being a dirty whore is basically the question so i thought well you know what that's an excellent thing so let's address that on the show today shall we sure okay so my thing is obviously we all know what the lifestyle is supposed to be about we say it all the time it's the magic words sport fucking right i mean we're in the lifestyle overall the concept of the at least the swinger part of a lifestyle is to have sex whether it be individuals one-on-one threesomes gang bangs couples you know hanging from ropes whatever the fuck it is i don't care what whatever you're into uh that's the idea of it which is a little bit different obviously from other areas like kingsters where it's not about you know different people it's it's just different ball game so i guess the first part of it is is there is there a set right number of times or people to hook up no no and there's not because here's the deal everybody's lifetime lifetime what that would be a movie everybody's lifestyle experience is going to be different okay There are going to be some people we've talked about before. They're never going to fully hook up. They're only going to do soft swap.
Speaker2: Right. Or, or, you know, maybe,
Speaker1: maybe they're more into voyeurism. And if they like to be around other people having sex, but they only want to have sex with their own partner, their own spouse or significant other, whatever, there's going to be some people that are going to hook up a lot. And some people that aren't going to hook up very much at all. And it obviously it varies person to person. I don't know. or their own spouse or significant other, whatever. There's going to be some people that are going to hook up a lot and some people that aren't going to hook up very much at all. And obviously it varies person to person and a streak of luck. Just throwing it out there. I think the bigger question, is there... Wrong. Now I can keep going? Okay, awesome. So I think the bigger question is, is there too few people to have sex with i'd say yes god damn you need to have more sex no the thing is is that okay there's no right and wrong answer for how much sex that you should have or any one person or or group of people should have would you agree with that statement agreed okay but i okay like everything else in life okay everything in life is like timing branding presentation presentation is a lot okay presentation is a huge goes a long long ways in determining what other people's perception is because here's the deal i say this all the time your perception is my reality right that's a coalism it's it's copyrighted so don't steal that shit it'll be on shirts soon anyways and that's true so here's the deal if you perceive that i'm having sex with every single thing that moves all the time and your perception is is that I'm kind of quote-unquote dirty I know it's funny to think that other swingers would think that but swingers are some of the most closed-minded motherfuckers you'll ever meet right okay so that perception is is that becomes the reality of it so I think the bigger thing is it's it's about how much do you need to advertise what you're doing now it becomes more of a challenge on social media right because on on like on everybody knows we have the world famous secret uh giant facebook page crazy casbah which we'll be happy to add you to but you're you get on social media and there's memes there's all these different things you know like if you think i'm fuckable comment or whatever the case may be and everybody's you're playing these memes you're playing it's flirting online basically and you put out there hey you know what hey is anybody doing anything this weekend i mean obviously like for us right now it's a it's a wednesday night right it's wednesday it's wednesday okay it's wednesday night so people are already starting to post on our page so hey what's everybody doing this weekend so what starts happening so if you see the same people continuously like what are you doing what's going on you know we laugh we say that people are thirsty right so there's this it becomes this perception that people are doing maybe doing more than what they really are for one let me say this though okay when you think about sex baby what no when you're when you're in high school and a guy sleeps with a bunch of women he's just lucky and brags about it when a girl does it she's a slut seriously so if you have as an adult on a swingers page or just in general or on a website doesn't matter however you communicate if you have a man, he's just a thirsty male. Right. But if you have a female, she's a slut. She's a slut. And here's the thing. We know in the lifestyle, sluts are good. Sluts are, seriously, and I'm not even that smart enough, sluts are good. But there's a difference between being a slut and a whore. When you get paid for it. When you get paid for it. Well, partially, but the thing is, again, again it comes down to perception i think we live in a world and we get comfortable especially on social media right we get comfortable that we start to share too much that becomes a huge issue there's even though we're swingers and we're all in the lifestyle we're all doing we for the same reason, discretion is still the better part of valor, right? You want to take in, maybe not, look, we all say we hate bed notchers. And to a degree, that's kind of what it comes down to is people start to perceive it as your bed notching, right? And so, look look i know people in the lifestyle that have slept with a lot of people put our numbers like to nothing okay and we've been in the lifestyle almost 10 years so we we you know we we visited some strange nah but okay but would put our numbers to shame like probably triple and if you were to go on and ask 50 of the people that know them the best and say who's someone that you know that slept with the most people i guarantee that person's name would never come up it would never come up because that person does not advertise it at all it's all on the down low i mean she's not this person's not hiding in a corner somewhere at parties or anything else but it's just how that presentation is you just you don't put that together i know other people that have not slept with as many people as we have but based upon presentation they would be dubbed oh yeah they get around they're fucking everybody so it goes a long ways and people go well isn't it a good thing to know that you you play because yes okay can it hurt you if people think you don't play yes yeah it can really hurt a couple i mean it probably a couple more than anything else but yes it can hurt hurt if people think you don't play because then they start to wonder are you really in the lifestyle it can hurt a hell of a lot more if people think that you play too much because instantly what comes to what comes to mind well are they being safe well you know we obviously all know you run an inherent risk the more people you have sex with anyways and then it becomes are they playing safe are they playing safe every single time and then you start going well this one time i saw or i heard and then the old rumor mill gets going and then it takes on again remember your perspective your perception is my reality and instantly becomes whole thing. And now all of a sudden people are starting to get, they're afraid. How often is a person tested? And some of that's legitimate fears. I mean, it really is. I mean, look, if you're going to be someone that's very open and out there about how much you play, you also need to be really open and out there about how often you're getting tested. You need to be open and out there about how much you play you also need to be really open and out there about how often you're getting tested you need to be open and out there about playing safe i mean here's the deal we all know and we're not going to judge everybody has everything some people use condoms some people don't obviously that's a choice but a really good friend of mine uh we're talking about today made the comment, this person's been in the lifestyle for almost 17 years, okay? So everybody goes, oh, no, I play safe, I play safe. And he said an interesting thing. He goes, in 17 years, he has never once seen a girl require a guy to put a condom on to give her a blowjob or seen a dental dam used i believe it and it's like oh and hey remember kids condoms aren't 100 no so again so now if you have the perception that you that somebody's really active in the. And do they play safe or not? Now, guess where that leads? Eventually, what that's going to lead is you're going to be ostracized from the lifestyle. People are not going to want you to play. They're not going to want to be a subject to that. There's a health risk and health factors there. Now, obviously, there's great things out there like SafeMate where you can get tested and literally carry your results on the phone which i encourage everybody to do look hey i'm tested the more active you are okay here we go we're going to use this analogy again we did the golf analogy one time and it's true if your hobby is golf and you need a new driver and it costs 300 bucks you'll go spend that all day long if your hobby is sticking your dick in other people's pussies okay or fucking other people and you need to go get tested and it costs 300 why wouldn't you do that it's you don't want a broken driver you don't you don't want a drippy driver nobody nobody wants a drippy driver or you know a driver with weird grips on the handle nobody wants that right so it it goes with that's part of your hobby so so get get your shit tested right and and the more active you are look if every month we'll just say not that anybody has quotas i don't know anybody that has a quota if anybody has a quota a sex quota please let us know right away because i want to interview on this interview on the show but if you're fucking i don't know let's say you're fucking there's four weekends in a in a month right typically typically and there's two days in each two days in each weekend. So let's just say hypothetically, you're fucking eight different people every month. Lucky motherfucker. Just saying, share, goddammit. That would be the first thing. No. If you're fucking eight people, but you only get tested every six months, let's do the math we this is like a story problem the train leaves detroit at five o'clock it's carrying 17 apples it's traveling at a rate of 180 miles an hour okay you following with me you need paper no okay 180 miles an hour well you don't expect me to get math like i'm paying attention no seriously, seriously. This is important, okay? There's 15 passengers on board, okay? How big will the crabs be? Okay, this is kind of one of those things. So if you're doing this every six months, you might want to get tested a little more often than that, right? Because remember, okay, so here's seriously doing math eight times six is 48 if you wait every 49th person before you go get tested well you just upped your odds to pick up some something somewhere along the way so you might want to get tested a little more and and if people know you're that active you might want to show people the results i don't know now do you think that's being sex is that being wrong i mean because okay it is unfair that a girl gets dubbed a slut or whore and a guy is just freewheeling well you know some people have to realize that you know it's okay for a gangbang but it's not okay to hook up with you know if if a girl goes oh i want to have a gang bang of eight guys um we're all going to meet on this night but it's not okay to hook up with eight guys in the course of a month no it's still it's a different i mean it's no different it's no different and and the thing is is that again by the way when did you want to schedule that it's just throwing that out there so but i mean here's the thing again if you're going to do something like that this is a great example goes back to the testing thing okay actually let me back up first because that's a big a big part that comes up with shaming certain things like gang bangs and stuff like that people get shamed horribly because of gang bangs okay but you'll go to a house party with nine couples and have sex with all of them. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, okay. So understand there's no, so there's no, there's no right to be, to be slut shaming. No. Okay. And all we're saying is be tested. Right. Okay. Be safe, Be smart. But understand, if you're known as someone that really likes gangbanks, and there are certain women and certain spouses that love gangbanks, okay, rock on. Then make sure that that perception is also that you're being tested accordingly, right? And that your gangbanks are known as safe gangbangs where hey look you have test results that show that are no older than seven days old to show that everybody involved in that is clean you know make make sure you have those types of things so we've talked about presentation okay but let's talk about the people that are doing the judging for just a quick sec okay look here's the deal in this lifestyle nobody has any fucking we all live in a glass house that is really god's honest truth we all live in a glass house i mean let's be real for just one second none of us are going to want to walk into our church our synagogue um our place of employment if it's just or at our school a kid's function at a school Thank you. None of us are going to want to walk into our church, our synagogue, our place of employment, or at our school, a kid's function at a school, and say, hey, can I have all your attention? Is this thing on? Hey, what we do is we have sex with other people. We're swingers. Nobody's going to do that, right? So what that means is none of us really have any right or room to fucking throw any damn stones at somebody else because of what they like to do within the lifestyle and i'm and this is not just talking about just volume okay and i know everybody goes oh i i don't do volume i do i do quality over quantity well what if you get lucky one month and you have some you have 10 high quality people that want to fuck you i'm i'm sorry i've already done two i can't do anymore no you're gonna fuck them so shut up okay i'm not talking about that but i'm talking about we're not just talking about volume we're talking about uh bisexual guys there's one there or or a gay a gay couple okay you want to know what i dare most swingers because most most swingers are pretty close-minded i and i encourage our listeners not to be those types of douchebags that if you see two guys making out at a swingers party uh and they're picking up a third guy that you go hey rock on that's them okay you're not one of the douchebags but uh we shame over homosexuality we shame over bisexual guys we shame over gang bangs we shame shame over, yeah, I don't, I mean, and when you start adding kinks to it, the list goes a mile fucking long. You know, people that like golden showers, people that want to have ponytails stuck up their butt, whatever the case may be.
Speaker3: And they really judge on the ones that appear thirsty.
Speaker1: Right, and they, on the people that are desperate for affection, attention, whatever the case may be okay again just remember as soon as you're willing and able to go out into a public setting and shout to the world with your family and friends all there about what you do then you can talk some shit but and still then hey shut the fuck up okay because we're all doing this is not a mainstream activity and a hundred years from now it still won't be a mainstream activity the lifestyle will never be mainstream it is what it is so people need to keep that in mind so i can tell a story about because because we were having a discussion this morning on the way to work yes and then with one of my co-worker who's like all of like 30 and and not lifestyle was talking about her cousin and and how much of a slut her cousin was and how many std she's had and all this stuff and and i just went you know i'm friends with swingers am i gonna out myself completely like that no but i said i'm friends with swingers and she goes swingers are different they have sex for fun she has sex for love and there it is now let me first put a huge note here this is really important to remember we have her marked down as possible easy conversion just just say it oh no we don't no okay i do anyways okay so but no i'm kidding no you're exactly right so that was that was an entertaining topic at work well but but it's here's the deal it's really true here's the other problem with taking and when you slut shame or shame or kink shame or anything else okay everybody when you ask a couple why did you get in a lifestyle every couple says the exact same thing well or on their profiles on websites well uh here's the deal you know uh we're at we we've got a great marriage and uh you know our sex life is incredible and we're just just looking to uh you know uh spice things up now when we first got lifestyle, we believed those people, didn't we? We believed it. We were one of those. Okay. Because we do have a great marriage and we do have a great sex life. And it was a turn on. Yeah, there is legitimately a small percentage of the people in the lifestyle that literally can honestly say will hook, hook my ass up to a lie detector any day of the week. And I will say that because it's true, but everybody says it, but here's, what's really bizarre. Then you start getting to meet people. Right. And then all of a sudden you find out, well, Bob and Joe's marriage, uh, you know, they've been married for 30 years. And, well, it's actually really a clusterfuck. You know, oh, hey, and this couple, you know, well, you know, here's the deal. They actually, there was one side threat and the other one that they were either going to, you know, get in a lifestyle or cheat or leave them.
Speaker3: We did have one couple that actually told us the truth.
Speaker1: Oh, Jesus. Good Lord. Okay, yes. When we met them. This couple was the greatest we did not it well we did a couple of them they met okay they well first of all it's really important to understand the way they met and their love blossomed was that she was his meth dealer uh until they both got busted and spent time in prison so uh you know love love You're gonna love who you love it is what it is but their marriage was having issues and they were in a rocky place in their marriage so they went to a marriage counselor because they had adopted a child and the marriage counselor said what you need to do to save your marriage is participate in more adult and adult only activities interaction interactionaction. Interaction. Yes. So they said, Hey, let's try swinging. So they decided they let their, they let their marriage counselor know this. And the best part was when their marriage counselor was like, that's not what I had in mind. Now you're going to be a followup to that. They got divorced. Yeah, they did. Swinging, I'll be damned, didn't save another marriage. Weird how that works out. But that kind of shit's very real in the lifestyle. There's a lot of people that are in the lifestyle trying to get different things. There are some singles that are looking for love. And it's not just batshit crazy females. It's not just thirsty males. It's they're looking for somebody there is a lot of we've seen people that hook up and have a relationship and everything yeah and it's great rock on there are people that are in it because their marriage is a complete shambles and they're trying to use it to fix their marriage does not work uh we've seen people that are in it i mean there's there's a huge range of reasons but again it's not really something you don't necessarily want to advertise it no you know so again don't throw stones because here's the deal do you really have you honestly sat down with your significant other and truly honestly admitted why you're the lifestyle. We did. We talked about it a lot before we ever got into it. And we've talked about it through the years. Why do we want to stay in it? But I'm telling you, unless you want someone, unless you want to sit down and have that candid conversation hooked up to a lie detector, I wouldn't be throwing no shade at anybody else. Just saying. that becomes a huge that's a huge part of the uh of the lifestyle is that look man we all we're all doing it for different reasons okay and it's kind of a live and let live situation so you know keep that in mind when we're when you're you're deciding who's better than who we're all just people i think that's the part that we can't stress enough you can tell this is like an annoying thing that we have to deal with because we have to deal with this all the time and you see it all the time and obviously we like to try to help people understand it so okay to recap presentation is everything okay don't throw stones don't advertise necessarily okay don't be a notcher you know kind of be on the dl remember there is there is a big thing of discretion is important even to other swingers and don't judge other people if on what they do or don't do yeah there we go so see that worked out nicely it did all right hey you know what let's get a word from our second half sponsor we'll be right back have you ever wanted to know behind the scenes information about crazy truth well here's your chance visit us at www.crazykazba.com learn more about us find out where we're going to be buy some cool merch spend some time sign up for our newsletter we want to hear from you and we look forward to having you part of the crazy casba family now and for a long time down the road www.crazycasba., we're back. I love how you pause. It's so funny. What? It's true. That was our professional voiceover guy came in and does our ass. Thank you. All right. You have any questions? I'm done for the day. That's all I got. Have you warmed up yet here in the studio?
Speaker3: A little bit. My hands are a little cold.
Speaker1: How are we ever going to start doing these naked? That's the plan is to start doing these naked.
Speaker3: No one will let you air it naked.
Speaker1: Yeah, they will.
Speaker3: Well, podcast, no one will know if they listen to it.
Speaker1: No, on our own page. I have other sources that will be able to air it naked.
Speaker4: Facebook is not one of them. Obviously, that would not be a good place to be naked. It would be a great place to be naked, but just saying. I don't know. Okay, so. We're off. It's not Sunday, you can tell. Yeah, that's okay. We're a little off. It's a little weird. Okay. I sure wish the ac was on in the studio because it's hotter anyways take off the jacket no fuck no that's all part of the what no one will know who i am who's that guy sitting next to miss amanda then they won't even recognize me it'll suck okay so the next question uh comes to us from Bill out of Houston. That'd be Texas.
Speaker2: Of Texas. You're going to do it with me, really?
Speaker3: Do I have to do all the sound effects here?
Speaker2: Oh, my Lord.
Speaker3: Obviously so. Why, yes, because the last thing I think, well, I should think about clapping because it's in the song.
Speaker1: It's in the song. Yeah, really? Wow. Okay, so Bill in Houston. Is everything bigger in texas i don't know i've never had sex with a texan to tell you have you oh we found a bucket list um i have to think about it hey why why i don't think so why you're thinking about it hey don't forget i hope you're still sending us your macaroni art No, I have not forgot about it. Hey, why, why? I don't think so. Why you're thinking about it? Hey, don't forget. I hope you're still sending us your macaroni art. No, I've not forgot about that. Macaroni penises and stuff. I have. I have. I can't wait to line the studio with macaroni penises and vaginas. Okay. Anyways. Guess I'm going to get busy. All right. So Bill out of Houston, Bill wanted to know, know his question was when you have your first house party okay we haven't had a house party question forever when you have your first house party how many is too many people to invite to a house party see we're got everybody's about numbers tonight fuck you math teachers i'm still not using math wouldn't it kind of depend on how big your house is? Well, yeah. And yes, if you're working in a, you know, if it's a double wide, you can have more than just a regular trailer. Do they have capacity limits? No, I don't. I don't know if they do or not. Here's the thing. When I got a hold of Bill, I said, how experienced are you in the lifestyle? And his response back to that was, he's been in the lifestyle for roughly two months. It's him and his girlfriend.
Speaker2: Two months.
Speaker1: Him and his girlfriend. They had, the way they got into it, a friend invited them to a party that they did not know was a lifestyle party.
Speaker3: Womp.
Speaker1: No, well then, yeah, it was like one of those stories. She comes to the comes to the bathroom comes out of the bathroom there's people fucking sucking dick and shit so they but they're all enthused and so they want to know how many people what's a good starting number of people and i mean do you want it to be an intimate affair well but here's the thing i didn't ask him that because he doesn't know well obviously i mean all they know is they want they I don't want it to be an intimate affair? Well, but here's the thing. I didn't ask him that because he doesn't know. Well, obviously. I mean, all they know is they want people to come and fuck. So, you know, a safe bet is invite one other couple that you want to have sex with. That's a win. I mean, look, when you're going to have a party, any party situation has to be what you're comfortable with. Okay, I'm going going to be honest it's somewhat of a red flag to me when you've only been in the lifestyle for two months to have a house party i mean it's not that's not the first time we've heard that because somebody asked you just even just from social media asked you well we just got in the lifestyle we want to have a house house party. Yes. Well, and that's just it. You hear that all the time. And I guess. So, I mean, fucking rock on for enthusiasm. I mean, I am full in for people that want to be that enthusiastic. Look, we've thrown giant hotel parties. We've thrown big camp outs. We've thrown a lot of different type of events. The one event we've never've never had is a house party we've never had a house party because we have pets but and who wants to have to spend the cleaning all the stuff because you got to clean the closets and all kinds you never know where somebody's gonna end up fucking so you can't just like that berms off i'm kidding here's the thing when if you're gonna do to do a house party when you're that new i guess to me there me there's nothing wrong with maybe waiting until you're a little more experienced. You know, if you want to, like, invite another couple over, or maybe even two couples, okay? Maybe there's six of you, you all get along, and you want to grill out, you know, or go to dinner or whatever and go back. That's's a pretty good safe way to start and when you start getting more people i mean at two months i don't know i guess i look at our experience when we were two months into the lifestyle we still had a lot of things that we were figuring out about us as a couple in the lifestyle. I mean, we were still figuring out rules. I mean, kind of.
Speaker3: I guess, well, you think about the first house party we went to was kind of a disaster because we didn't know what was allowed and what wasn't allowed.
Speaker1: I've got to think which one that one was. The very first one? The girl that talked in tongues. Oh, good God, yeah. OWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. Can I fuck her? I don't know. When do I stick my dick in there? Yeah, there was like no... Everybody didn't even get all the way naked to know that it was like time to get all the way naked yeah it was it was just kind of a cluster yeah and and the people whose house it was here's the reality of it they didn't really have a clue they didn't really have a clue what to do and so then you had speaking tongues over here running the fucking show and that was a disaster and it was like so i mean yeah for us it was like and now granted that was kind of an impromptu turned into a house party yes but at two months into it i don't think we would have been ready to handle if if let's say you have five couples there i mean that's 10 people that's not lot of people at a house party. That's like a, what, a medium-sized house party, right? At two months into it, if one couple freaks the fuck out, or, you know, you have the freak out that you've heard about, you know, and we've seen that happen, I don't think at two months into the lifestyle, I don't think we would have known what to do, how to that and we definitely wouldn't have known how to like keep the party move i mean that would have been absolute killer of the party we would have gone oh now what do we do yeah exactly and then you're kind of hoping that maybe somebody else maybe one of the other couples is more experienced that they take over well i mean I mean, I guess I would be more that new into it. Co-host a house party. Right. If you have another couple that's experienced, co-host where they can kind of be the lead and you can kind of follow. So they can kind of help. Yeah, you can learn and direct. The only thing that's worse at two months having a house party is having a house party with a whole bunch of other newbies. Yeah. Well, I mean, serious. I mean, you're talking about the blind leading the fucking blind. At this point in time, no one really knows what to do. No. Okay. And I remember that party and I remember other first times in the experience, first year in the lifestyle where you don't know what the fuck to do. I mean, you're literally just kind of watching everybody else and you're kind of playing parrot shit she took off her bra get get your top get your tits out hurry up everybody else has their tits out you know and and so you're like oh my god i gotta get my dick out what are we doing and you kind of do that right so if you have a whole house full of newbies you get new people you get two newbie couples with six experienced couples. And it can have a little awkward feeling in the air a little bit because you don't know what to do. And here's the biggest thing is the worst thing you want to do is throw a shitty house party. Yeah, because no one will come back. No one will ever come back. Not only that, if you have a shitty time at your first house party that you threw you're never going to want to have another one and you're going to be pretty hesitant to have to go to another one so okay so i know that didn't answer his question because i don't think he wanted to be told don't have a party but i guess the roundabout answer is it's what you're comfortable with no i don't agree with that no no know it's... It's what you're comfortable with. No, I don't agree with that. No. It's take what you're comfortable with and subtract one couple from it. Okay. Okay. Because what you think you're comfortable with, you have no idea. That's true. So if you think you're comfortable with five couples, only invite four. because otherwise I'm just telling you it can get you know you will not have complete control of the situation you're going to want to drink more because you're going to be nervous other people even experienced swingers will be nervous they'll sense your nervousness and they'll be nervous also yeah so yeah i mean it'll be awkward it will be awkward and you don't want an awkward party you really don't so you know start small kind of ease into it yeah i mean look if you're somebody that you're used to hosting i suppose okay if you're somebody that's used to hosting dinner parties we were we never hosted dinner parties we were never invited to dinner parties we weren't very popular people we suck but i mean i okay i'm sure if you're somebody that you're used to throwing big birthday parties you're used to throwing you know cocktail parties cocktail you're used to throwing uh uh dinner parties then then yeah you're gonna you're already used to how to break the ice and everything else like that that's gonna help a little bit but remember a cocktail party is not the same as a cock and tail party okay there's a little bit there's a little bit different there do i will say this do some research make sure that one thing that you want to make sure is that your house is conducive for fun play no shit don't fuck under all the family pictures that's weird as fuck god says that was the bless this house i can't have your wife sucking my dick under that message it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable oh just saying don't have awkward furniture well that's well okay here's the deal have furniture covers yeah okay because unless you're doing a questionnaire you know what nothing can kill cleanup quite like the big giant fertile muscle on the fucking couch after you little you know one of the people you invited was like you know fucking what was the pokemon the turtle squirtle squirtle that squirtled all over your couch and you got to figure out how to get a stand out before the kids get home from the babysitter okay so make sure you have some stuff make sure do a little do a little research of some things or talk to some people of what are some things that maybe they would recommend that you have at a house party like condoms or lube yeah lube towels refreshments you know just some good icebreaker games okay and let me help you out with this i'm gonna say this i'm i will say this forever and i'm sure we may get sued by the makers of cards cards against humanity that game sucks anytime that is not a dirty game no there are some people that really have fun anytime we've ever played it which has all been like twice it sucked there was nothing that led to get naked no there was i mean it's like what no what what we okay the one time we played it was fun because we were all drinking and we were fucking around and then we quit playing it to watch the countdown for new year's eve and then we got naked and fucked the naked and fucked part had nothing to do with the fucking cards against humanity right so pick some better fucking games than you know if you're gonna pick i hate that fucking game a little bitter no shit maybe but you know here's here's the other thing you know that go around the room thing we always talk about this i get college and stuff stand up state your name state your major okay everybody does this it's a way to try to get to know everybody else there so how long you've been in lifestyle what got you into the lifestyle i'm sorry that is the most awkward fucking way i hate that i i hate look i i i've spoken in front of 10 000 people i love doing public speaking i'm gonna i'm gonna fish you in on the side i do speeches all over the place all over the country all the time it does no big deal and i still hate when they go around and you have to do that introduction thing and that's like in a regular not even just a swinger setting so come up with something a little bit different than that a little bit please you know uh but do some do ask around ask some of the other people that you know that are in the lifestyle or if you're part of like group, like if you're part of our page or a page like that, put a thing out. Hey, we're getting ready to host our first party. What are your suggestions? Because some people will come up with some killer suggestions. We went to one, and she's a chef. She's a baker. And they had Dirty Jenga. Had Dirty jenga and snacks and well seriously and actually what it started off being was uh she was she had a whole bunch of different types of cookies and stuff and we're all sampling cookies just sitting around shooting the shit drinking wine sampling cookies and everybody was super laid back and then next thing they were playing fucking dirty jenga and like two things into it i think you had you had uh like a postcard and away it went I mean but it was super laid back and then next thing they were playing fucking dirty jenga and like two things into it i think you had you had uh like a postcard and away it went i mean but it was so relaxed and laid back it was just awesome and so that's that's like you know try something new be creative with that if you're gonna if you're gonna do it yep and especially if it's your first one because you know what everyone will be like okay well it's new. And it kind of takes the edge off a little bit. And don't drink too much getting ready for it. Nothing worse than being drunk for your own being train wreck wasted before your guests even get there. I mean, I don't know if that's better. We've not had one at all. It's on our bucket list, you know what? It is? Well, now that we're empty nesters, we can't. We still have dogs. Well, but we can send the dogs over to one of the kids' house. They know what we do. Hey, you need to babysit the dog. Why? You want to come over and find out? Nope. Okay, perfect. We could actually have one now. It's kind of weird. Now we've thrown a couple big hotel parties and all that shit, and I'll be like have a house party would you do a house party the people want to know I don't know if we really have conducive places to have sex okay they can fucking hear in the studio we've got what are you talking about on the hard floor well we can bring some padding in what are you talking about we've got couches in my office we've got couches in the living room we have a bedroom with a bed end that we don't use that's the fucking bed remember that was going to be the plan with that that's true we've got the bed that we sleep in that bed's a fucking bed it's been fucked on a lot we've got multiple showers we'll see we got a stand--up shower that people can fuck out. What are you talking about? We've got, like, the greatest layout ever. I mean, my office, the window's kind of big. We'll keep the shades down. But, I mean, seriously, we've got the ultimate. Shock the neighbors. Surprise. Olay. I wonder what goes on in that house. Seriously. We've got kind of a prime setup. We've got two basements, so we could do a dungeon in one. I mean, you've got to run naked around out to get to that one. That'd be kind of weird. But the one, you know, we've got a basement, a hole. Uh-huh. Ah. Holy shit. Now the topic just shifted. Now we're going to go to Planet House Party. We know people can bring snacks. Fuck get into the snacks just saying do you really you have to have and look you can't you can't have a house party without even not just booze people need to rehydrate hydration is important that prevents leg cramps and we know what happens somebody gets a leg cramp nothing kills. Nothing kills the party because most of us are older now. So, you know, the regular charlie horse is bad, but you get one on your thigh or the bottom of your foot. Yeah. Yeah. You can't even get off the girl. You're just in there going, and you're just in there holding on for dear life, hoping it goes away. You need three other people to help massage it out and walk it off and shit.
Speaker2: It's bad. Good grief.
Speaker1: So you need hydration and you don't want people passing out because they're starving. So you need snacks and you need beverages.
Speaker2: I agree.
Speaker1: Okay, so when are we having our house party? I'm fucking in. What are you guys doing this weekend?
Speaker2: Come on over. We'll have a party.
Speaker1: We're not going to watch the dog
Speaker2: this weekend.
Speaker1: I'm just throwing it out there. We don't have to record on Sunday.
Speaker2: I was just saying.
Speaker3: No, we don't.
Speaker1: I don't have to record on sunday i was just saying no we don't i'm putting it out there we haven't broken all the rooms in the house yet no we haven't we need to i guess maybe that before we start inviting other people to fuck in our house we need to start picking in all the rooms ourselves how many rooms we got down we got three got three. Two. Three. Four. Four. Are we fucked in? No. Where'd it go? Have we been slacking that badly? We've only had sex in one. Nuh-uh. Yes. No. Didn't we fuck in the living room? No. I guess it started there, and then we retired to the bedroom, to the sleeping chambers. We sucked your dick in the kitchen. Yeah, you did suck my dick in the kitchen. It's a golly kitchen. That was awesome. We haven't had sex in... We suck at this. Well, okay, so we hadn't moved in 19 years. We had every room in that house broken into. The garage, the deck, the backyard, the front yard, the driveway. Anyway, we had every room in that house broken into the garage the deck the backyard the front yard driveway yeah we had them all we took care of every one of them i don't think there's no counter space to fuck in the one in the one bathroom here i mean that'd just be weird god how are we gonna do that we're gonna start getting this figured out man we well i mean my god we've been here for four months and we've only fucked in one room i feel like we're it's i feel like such failures two and a half it has been so we've got some time but i mean we got to kick this up a notch slacker well i i don't know can we fuck on the front porch yeah probably yeah right by a busy intersection. That a busy intersection. Yeah, the neighbor comes out a lot. But we could put something up along that side. Actually, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to put something up along the one side so it comes out of his house. Yeah, that won't be obvious at all. His dogs and stuff. That won't be obvious at all. I don't know. We'll have to go there. All right. So, yeah. So, well, we almost got to go. We already started fucking. I don't know how we're going to fuck in there. That'll be weird. Yeah, we'll figure it out. It's soundproof, so you can yell and scream and no one's even going to know. Oh, bullshit. It's not completely soundproof. We have a table right there. Oh, we do. Yeah, because we don't want to fuck on this one. No. And move all the equipment. We don't want to short out any of the electrical equipment.
Speaker2: Well, that was a shocking experience.
Speaker3: Oh, God.
Speaker2: That's funny shit. Shut up, you know. You goofus. All right.
Speaker1: Hey, it's time, guys.
Speaker2: How much time do we have?
Speaker4: Do I have time for another quick question? We have five minutes-ish?
Speaker1: Yeah, you know. I don't want to answer any more questions i don't want to answer any more questions you want to answer any more questions well then what you want to do sweet well apparently hurry up and start fucking please is all i can figure out and then we'll go to five it's good that's all good okay so uh i'm trying to thought there just got fucking derailed uh okay so let's That easy Well it doesn't take much Okay would you Let's ask this question Would you rather Well we don't go to a lot of house parties We don't get invited to a lot of house parties anymore Not a lot of our friends are having them anymore But would you rather fuck at a house party or a hotel party Which do you feel more comfortable fucking at Are we talking about a hotel party Isn't just like somebody rents a room And you go and meet so many couples there Are we talking like a hotel party? Which do you feel more comfortable fucking at? Are we talking about a hotel party as in just like somebody rents a room
Speaker3: and you go and meet so many couples there? Are we talking like a hotel takeover?
Speaker1: Like a hotel takeover. Like a crazy one. It's like a big party. Would you rather fuck at a big party like a big hotel party? Okay, let's do it this way. Outside a campground, a big hotel takeover, or a house party? Which would you rather do? Because I know you like sex in public. Yeah, I kind of like the outdoor thing. So, if we could put up a tent by an outdoor pool at a hotel next to a house, would that be the biggest winner of all? This is back to the story problem again. A, you're not going to have a house close to a hotel You might What if somebody lives there? Yeah, don't find flaws in my logic Just roll with it
Speaker3: It's not logic
Speaker1: Okay, so would you rather fuck at a camp out Or a hotel takeover?
Speaker3: I like the outdoor thing
Speaker1: Okay
Speaker3: That's a thing for me
Speaker1: Okay, so Wait, what?
Speaker2: I know
Speaker1: No way Thank you. hotel takeover i like the outdoor thing okay that's a thing for me okay so so wait what i know no way are you all listening to this you better be marking it down don't forget we got a couple but if you want to talk about either a small intimate party or a large one it doesn't really matter doesn't it because some people find it harder to break away they're afraid they're gonna miss stuff or yeah so a smaller public party would probably be more lucky along those well because we had the misconception when we the first time we ever went to a hotel party we thought it would be one of those things where you like you go back with a couple you'll fuck in the room and get dressed and go back to the party and find another couple and go fuck and i mean we i don't know what we what we dream where we're living no well it ended up to be just fine because it ended up being a great once we went back to the room though we were there the rest of the night and it happened that there was other couples that came in and it turned out to be fucking kick ass and a blast but we had no idea so like a camp out there's a degree it's easier to camp out you know just move your shorts to the side and go fuck and and then you know go do whatever and then maybe hook up again with somebody else later or whatever it's a little bit easier than like at a big hotel event where you're like get all undressed get back to the room get all undressed fuck get yourself all recleaned up and and go
Speaker2: Thank you. event where you're like get all undressed get back to the room get all undressed fuck get
Speaker1: yourself all recleaned up and and go it can be or at least it would seem to be that way it never really turns out that way though no no but see but a house party if it turns into a melee that usually turns into even even if it doesn't turn into a melee you're more apt to have Any housewares we were at We pretty much had sex with every couple there I mean it was more it was more of a ish well I mean ish but it was it was more of like the first house party if you've never been to a house party it's bizarre because once everybody's naked it's then everybody's just kind of going around talking and making and. And then, you know, all of a sudden a couple start to fuck over here and there's some stuff going on over here and like that. So it's just kind of like it's a totally different experience. And that's fun. Those are, that's a blast. So. All right. Well, the sound guy told me I'm done. We're out of time. There you go. It goes so fast. I wish it lasted longer, harder. But anyways.
Speaker2: All right.
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