Krazy Truth # 51 The Golden Rule Consent!

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Natural Pines Resort, the adult playground. Over 120 acres for those that enjoy the nudist-slash-lifestyle or a place to escape every day's life. Amenities include above-ground pool, a two-acre lake, walking trails, and more fun than you can shake a stick at. visit them today and book your one of 48 rv spaces or unlimited tent camping or one of your cabins at www.naturalpinesresort.com make sure you tell them cas was saying hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth i'm your host with the most i am cole i'm here with the lovely lovely miss amanda hey for those of you that are watching on our world famous facebook page crazy casket secret by the way we can't tell when it's off so uh yeah we're just we are fun being on c comments won't fake this shit till we make it that's the way we roll god damn it uh yeah so hi we road tripped yesterday we did we did we road tripped yesterday out to uh out to our one of our sponsors uh natural pines resorts as well because that's gonna be the home of our crazy summer nights this summer and a big thank you and shout out to them for their hospitality as we got to hang out for a couple hours with them. It's very nice. Very peaceful. Very relaxing. Very, very relaxing. It's like it's a place you can be naked and fuck. Weird.
Speaker2: I just wanted to lay in the grass.
Speaker1: And you could do that naked with somebody on top of you. Fucking you.
Speaker2: You can.
Speaker1: It is very nice and relaxing. So that was awesome. Made for a fun road trip for us. We always have a good time when we're on the road. On the road again. So we do that all the time.
Speaker2: It was a nice, relaxing road trip.
Speaker1: It really was. Except for that hour when I woke up to you, like, death grip on the steering wheel and the lightning flashing all over. I just need some chips, damn it. I just need some chips. Am I on the road? Okay. I'm awake. I think we'll go ahead and switch drivers at any point in time now it was 10 o'clock at night no no no when the storm was hitting it was not 10 o'clock at night it was midnight at night and because no yes no it was like it was like right before midnight i'd been sleep for an hour we'd switch drivers at 10 10 30 and it was like 11 30 and all i know was that you were sprinkling everything was good i'm passing trucks i'm hauling ass and then i'm like you know i want some chips i'm trying to find them a region i can't find them they weren't where i put them like crap hey and then all of a sudden the hill broke loose and this guy fell and not as bad as our trip but it was it was bad and i freaked out i changed lanes when i wasn't supposed to because i was trying to find chips and he's like can i help you i'm like i just want some chips and she couldn't she couldn't see and and i'm like i can't see and she she had a death grip on the steering wheel. She could have chewed on it. She was sitting so close to the steering wheel. She instantly became 83 and had her face pressed firmly against the windshield. I couldn't see. There's lightning flashing up. And trucks are blowing past us. And I'm like, it's really windy, isn't it? And she goes, no, that's just me. And because her hands were so fucking stiff that the car was like, she's like, am I on the road? I'm like, yeah, right in the middle of all the roads. So why don't we scoot over us, coach? That'd be great. You know what? I was awake. I was fucking wide-eyed and perky fucking tail. Then he's like, what, the next exit pull over? Yeah, just pull over the next exit. Because you missed it. And I'm like, I didn't see it. Yeah, the next exit I'm watching, and it's coming up. And I'm sitting like this. There it goes. And I can't see. I'm like, I can't see. And the best part of this... And then finally, because why don't you pull over right up here? Yeah, when it fucking stopped. She pulls over, we switch drivers, and it sprinkled. It sprinkled meanly. Ooh, sprinkled. That's all it did the rest of the way mad. And actually, the last hour, it was dry. It wasn't even raining. It was dry. Yeah, lucky you. Yeah. Well, you know. You get all the nice weather. Life's a lot of timing. Hey, you woke me up with, you have to understand, if you knew us, you would understand that many of your road trip has woken up with, don't, I can handle driving through St. Louis. And you wake up to the sun jesus fucking christ oh my god and so she you do it with vigor i do i mean the lightning flashes and everything was a really nice touch so yeah but the other times it was just traffic and cars cutting you off and i swear there was a thing on the front of the car that says pull out in front of me and well here's the thing i may be kind of chunky uh fluffy if you will and i may smoke you know what i'll never quit smoking because here's the deal my heart has withstood 28 years of waking up in the car with like something really bizarre i've woken up in kansas city 80 miles an hour and i look to the out your window because you were driving and there's a semi-trailer right there and i look out my window and there's a semi right there and again you were up against the glass going jesus fucking christ he just they just won't i can't get away from him and i look behind me and there's a truck right on our ass and you are boxing like smoking the fucking bandit i'm like that's horrible or the time you woke me up and again in another big city i just don't know where i'm at i'm Thank you very much. behind me and there's a truck right on our ass and you were botched in like smoking the fucking bandit i'm like that's horrible or the time you woke me up and again in another big city i just don't know where i'm at i'm gonna stop for directions and i was kind of droggy he was pissed and and she pulled into the one area of kansas city it was kansas city it was as fucking as deadly as human i'm like lock the go go go go they had advisories flayed up all over going, do not stop in this area of town. And you stopped at the fucking one place that was active, McDonald's, because there was all kinds of people in the parking lot pulling out looking at the Nebraska car come pulling in there going, hey. And did that in Chicago, too. Yeah, no, in Chicago, if you remember the show Good Times, they show the projects in Chicago and the backdrop. Yeah, I know right where those are at. You know how I know where they're at? Because you stopped at a gas station and thought we should ask directions there. I'm like, I think how about we do this?
Speaker3: Click.
Speaker1: Let's keep going on down. I'm sure that people would have been helpful, but I'm sorry. It's just one of those things that we were like Clark Griswold. I was just waiting to have no tires left and spray paint on the side of the car. I'll be right back. I'm sure that people would have been helpful, but I'm sorry. It's just one of those things that we were like, Clark Griswold, I was just waiting to have no tires left and spray paint on the side of the car. There is a huge, huge difference between hospitality in the Midwest and hospitality in the South. And in the big fucking cities, there's even a different hospitality. When you have a big old sign that says, I'm a terrorist and stupid, you have all kinds of people that will direct you. Go down this way. You'll find my cousin Eddie. He'll be down there. He'll help you out. Make fun of me. You drive. No, I had driven 28 of the 29 hours we were on the road. You had one hour in traffic. All right, we're supposed to be talking about sex. sex hey guess what didn't happen on any of those road trips sex because by the time we stopped the car we weren't speaking to each other usually you know that or my heart wasn't i didn't have a waiver sign okay so all right so we're going to talk about something tonight okay and we know we have tons of questions from folks and that's awesome but a question a generic question we get asked all over the country and this is something that comes up all the time and part of the i'm gonna be i'm gonna lay it right out here part of the reason we're addressing this tonight today for those of you that are listening it's cinco de mayo it's it's may 5th the show will actually come out the coming thursday but on our page, we usually hear about all kinds of different events that happen all over the place. And there was another example, once again, at a party. It was not a CASBA event. But there was another example of the issue of consent being coming in. Now, here's the deal. Again, now, I always put this disclaimer when we talk about serious shit. make jokes if you don't like it suck my dick we make jokes it's not we're joking about it it's a serious topic but we're still going to try to make it fun because otherwise people don't listen so bear with us it's our nature it's no shit it's kind of funny we know it's serious we take it serious we take it very serious or we wouldn't be talking about it right yes but we have moments that we shout out smart ass comics that's the way we are god damn i just need chips uh okay so um so let's let's hit the basics okay rule number one in the swinger universe and i think this started at the very dawn of time okay like from from when there was the sound and it was you know the odyssey music coming and and oh the number one rule that ever came out was no means no okay i point this out for very obvious reasons number one it's not no means maybe. It's not no could mean yes. It's not no mean no if. And it's not no means maybe it's not no could mean yes it's not no mean no if and it's not no mean no no means no unless it is simply put no means no right so so it's pretty like like this is like kindergarten shit to understand if i come up and I do something and you say, no, don't, that means don't fucking do that. That means stop what you're doing. It doesn't matter anything else. It doesn't matter if you've said to me all night, we can be, we could have hung out all night long and you're like, I'm like, Hey, can I touch your boob? And you're like, yes. and I'm like touch and I'm just, I'm squeezing your boob like a fucking stress ball for four straight hours right your boob's getting sore and then all of a sudden you go no stop touching my boob okay that means stop touching your boob it doesn't mean well but wait a minute for the last four hours i was able to touch your boob what the fuck okay and for those that take things literal yes it doesn't necessarily have to be no it can be okay you can stop now right that's another form of no or stop it or you know i'm uncomfortable with that or you know you're really nice but i you know i'm not ready for that that's all no yeah exactly any look okay we're gonna go this is like magnets here we go doctors i'm gonna be like a scientist now okay there's positive and there's negative right here's the deal when it goes from positive to a negative that means stop that means if you get you get an eye roll of or I don't know or wait a minute, I'm uncomfortable or the person pulls away, it's all equivalent to stop. And the key with this is it means stop right now. There's no discussion afterwards. OK, so we're going to fill in with people on this. Here's the deal. If you take and start badgering, hounding, whatever, I'm in sales. So you start trying to sell back the idea of, well, it's okay to let me do this. That's still wrong. Okay, that is actually considered a form of rape. It is what it is, okay? Or sexual assault. Because when you're trying to take the booze factor out of an equation for a second, okay? When you're trying to force coerce anything to get people to... You're stroking that glass very seductively. Yeah. Stop!'re when you're trying to convince someone to do something they don't want to do that is that you can't do that no means no now that seems like a simple concept and i understand in the swinger world okay we get this question all the time well how do how do you get somebody, I don't want to be rude, but I want them to stop. Okay. I'm that person. That question comes to us from women and men all over the country. Yep. Okay. Here's how this works. Fuck whether or not you're rude. I mean, seriously, this is, look, if you don't want something to happen and you're not comfortable with something screw their feelings fuck their feelings if it hurts their feelings you know that's what they want you to do no they don't want you to screw their feelings they want it lower lower boy but i mean the thing is and this goes guys and girls screw whether or not it hurts their feelings, screw whether or not it embarrasses them, screw whether or not, I mean, yes, can you initially be maybe kind or gentler and go, please don't, or no, and not make a big scene? Yes, if you have to say it a second time, be fucking loud and proud, make sure every motherfucker around hears you say no, because fuck them're breaking the rules and i think what happens so many times is that especially for women is that they feel like they will end up being uh they will be being viewed as the bad guy you know or they'll be well you're a teaser you're whatever whatever. I'm just going to hit on this too. Anybody that sides with, especially with a male over a female, when a female says no or stop or whatever, like we're talking about, and they side with the guy saying, well, that bitch had it coming or that she did this or she did that is just as big of a piece of shit as the dude doing the touching or the whatever i firmly believe that this goes both ways and we'll hit on that a little bit okay so the thing is is that to everybody how do you politely get somebody to stop you tell them no politely once and then if they do not stop immediately you you do whatever you have to do as loud as you have to be or whatever you have to do to get them to stop and then you find somebody if you're there with a spouse or if you're single the host of the party or a friend or, and get to them immediately. Get to them immediately and let them know what's going on because nobody wants that person there. So if you get to that person so that that person can be removed, can be on all the lists of whatever about the douchebag or the lifestyle, we don't want that, right? So don't worry. Never worry about hurting people's feelings with that and here's the deal it won't it's not going to blackball you from playing that's something i think a lot of people are concerned with they're afraid that if they say no one time then it's gonna it's gonna get around and people are gonna never want anything to do with them look and sometimes it's a no until you get to know them it will because you're not quite comfortable but then yet you know give me some time exactly and and i think okay you tell me if i'm wrong on this for a lot of situations you're not saying if someone tells you we're not saying if somebody says no or stop that that means you have to just run and hide from them right i mean if you can still carry on a conversation unless they get up unless they ask you to no get away or if they like say no and they try to get away if they're no and trying to leave look if it's something that it's a comfort zone with needing more time or whatever most people will will say i'm not ready or whatever the case may be and then give appropriate space now look if somebody's like no and then they go shuffling off and you go shuffling after them no i'm just trying to get you know to know you're better i swear to god no you're not you're fucking stalking there's a total difference with that okay so there's there's a common sense factor that plays into it and actually i shouldn't say that i say that there's a common sense factor people that are creepers and dickheads that don't take no for no and i don't give a fuck if they're drunk or it doesn't matter okay they have no common sense okay people that are good people that maybe they misread a sign they misread a single when you say stop or no will immediately be like i'm sorry and immediately will stop that's somebody not trying to be a deuce that's somebody like they they fucked up or whatever and they're gonna they're gonna stop but someone you should never if you have to say it twice come on there's there's some women that don't think that that applies to them, though. You've had that at a party where you blatantly told a girl no, and she hounded. Oh, my. I've had my nipples nearly ripped off. Until you made yourself obliterated drunk to where you couldn't function. Okay, now we're not... That was not the right solution. Yeah, we're not advocating just... But he didn't feel like he could leave the party. No, I didn't feel like... But this one gal would not take no. Okay, this happens more time than people think. Okay, there's this double standard. Having spent years in the bar industry, and I worked as a bouncer for a long, long time, okay? When I was younger and tougher and stronger i had wonderful skin of sexy guy back then whatever but here's the deal uh if a man goes to a strip club we're trained we know keep your hands down to your side whatever don't touch now obviously they still bouncers to make sure people do that but at the bar we're at we had an all-male review come in This was 20, 20, 25 years ago.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So we had this all-male review come in. This was 20, 25 years ago. Okay. So we had this all-male review come in. So it's all women. Holy fucking shit. You want to talk about a bunch of ravenous fucking unfed dogs. I'm not talking about just like college girls in there. Now, okay, granted, these dudes were beefcake. I mean, because not a lot of people want to see dad bods up their dance round and yes because from their little animal nose holder things they all had big old flopping shlongs okay but i i'm telling you what there were people there were people from my other job that went that were like 60 these fucking women are crawling over each other and tables and just fucking to touch and rub and grope and fucking slap their dick around. I'm not one of those. These guys got more fucking pussy. I don't know what age range, all age ranges, backstage. And I mean, there's a lady like fucking using her cane to beat the college girls to get out of their way. I mean, it's like, holy shit. Grandma's fucking going in for some cock. And the thing is, is you're trying to tell them, no, you can't do that. They're like, yes, we can. And then all of a sudden, by the end of the night, they get drunk, right? Well, there's only like six male performers, right? So the male staff is here at this point in time. Well, these fucking, these pack of hyenas, I mean, they're getting enough fucking food and they've ripped that to shreds and now they're just looking for dick. They don't fucking care. And they're like, fuck, and they're on you. And all of a sudden, it is weird when you feel like a piece of meat. You're pretty sure that it's the first time before it ever happened. You're like, this is going to be so hot. Those chicks are going to want to fuck me. Yeah, wait until the fuckers jump on you. They're like raptors coming out of the fucking woodwork. And they're on you, and they're fucking pulling and grabbing and groping and shit. And you feel dirty, and your dick's kind of bruised. And you're like, it didn't get hard, because that was just terrifying. And you're just kind of laying there in this pool of, like, woman slobber and beer and stale alcohol and and you sit there and you just kind of shake a little bit and then the next day you go back to work and you see these same fucking women that were less than 12 hours before were crawling over the top whipping their tits out and they're sitting there acting all normal and and they're kind of shy around you because well i i might have got a little out of control last night. No. You turned into a fucking were-female wolf thing. You did not get a little out of control. A little out of control was I got a little drunk and sang karaoke and I probably shouldn't have. That's a little out of control. You became a slobbering giant vagina that wanted to stick anything in you that you could get. There's a difference. Let's take the rare few because shelly commented i'm the same way i will not touch them the last time i went to the mail review and it was the only one i've ever been to i felt bad for a guy because he was trying to give lap dances i'm like okay well here's what you know they're advertising five dollar lap dances i'm like okay here He jumped up on my chair, stepped on my finger, which pissed me off. The other male stripper took a drink of my drink, pissed me off. And then I proceeded to hand him the $5 and he shoved my hand down his pants, which was sweaty and nasty. No. That's not consent. Okay, so. Shoving my hand. No, that's not consent. so shoving my hand no that's not consent but you know yes i mean it it okay so not all women get totally fucking psychotically out of control but what we totally drift but if you look at the lifestyle and you hear this a lot and i'm on a lot of sites on like probably 40 different sites. You see this all the time. Guys don't know how to deal with this. They have a woman that is, a lot of times there's booze involved. Here's a general theme. There's always booze involved. Not always, but a lot of times there's booze involved, and people make poor decisions, and they think it's justified because of the booze, which it's not. We'll touch on that in a minute. But this woman, women think it's okay to you grab a guy's ass they think it's okay to grab his nipples they think it's okay to reach up and just fucking grab his junk hey ladies let me help you out with something i understand betty white has has figured out that your pussies can take a poundie and they're tough my balls are sensitive and when you come in like a baseball bat to grab those motherfuckers and squeeze and twist that hurts they won't work okay so if you're hoping that's going to turn me on no all it's going to do is make me probably puke in my mouth you've left a party going oh my god my nipples hurt so bad i've had my nipples bruised because people think women think i have i have outie nipples okay it can be it can be 180 degrees and my nipples can cut fucking glass that is not an invitation for every woman who's had a shot to fucking take and rub them rub them off and or okay here's another one ladies do this guys all the time they come up and they rub the front of your jeans okay like oh that's gonna get you off here's the thing you know what that is that's like dry hump and if you do it long enough you're gonna create friction you're gonna give me a burn i won't be able to jack off later so thanks don't do that but the the reality of it is is that okay it's just as non-consent consensual it's harder for a guy doesn't want to be considered a pussy a wuss or whatever and if you say and i've said it to women to say stop i'm not okay with that they laugh and go oh yeah you're coming every guy likes that no every guy doesn't like that so the thing is now understand i'm not trying to shift like the blame to women or what i want to make sure people understand is this happens to both sexes both sexes it happens to males it happens to females and neither one of them it was right and here's the deal the people that do that that don't take no for an answer whether it's because of booze drugs or stupidity whatever the case may be they have no business being in the lifestyle they have no business at least being at that event if they're that drunk they need to be booted and let me ask you this though is it just it i know the answer to this okay but I'm just gonna say it because so what gives what makes a male think that they can come in to a party and and pretty much not take no for an answer so is it that they're not lifestyle or is it more they're just not a man or there's no common sense or they think that rules don't apply to them or, you know, could it also be if they know that you're into a certain lifestyle, whether it be BDSM or kink or something like that, that they feel like they can control you by doing that. Well, it's a couple of things. Okay. And you had some really good, good points there. i think when you hit the king community the king community has their own uh issues with people that don't understand what a transfer of power really is okay and so that's something that can lead to a form of that okay i want i'm going to keep the king part out of a little bit because it's a little bit different monster then then it's still no me no in the kink community that's their number one rule okay but i'm going to leave that because there's some other things that they go through with i think that one of the big challenges is when you have someone come in especially a male and here's the thing i'm not ripping on single males but because there's a lot of douchebag husbands, too. Okay. Okay. But what I think happens is they think it's a power trip. Okay. Here's the problem. And I'm not a basher of porn. I love porn. Thank God for porn. Praise porn. I love porn. And I know people go, well, porn creates a bad self-image. It does. And that is the problem problem you have some people that are not mentally mature enough to handle the difference between look when the pizza guy comes at to the fucking 80 billion dollar mansion on the beach in a porn and he brings three of his buddies and they fuck the girl and they're fucking her six ways to tuesday and choking her having her tied up and slapping her with the pizza and all the rest of the shit that's not real that's a movie okay Harry Potter's wand that's not real it doesn't you can't really make things float with it it doesn't work that way okay porn is no different so I think some people are not mature enough and they think that they think that the lifestyle means because I don't know you I can do whatever I want to you and your opinion doesn't mean shit you know what I'm saying I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know. that the lifestyle means because i don't know you i can do whatever i want to you and your opinion doesn't mean shit you know what i'm saying you just gotta jump in as you see cool comments okay okay so it's interrupt i don't want to interrupt you so so that that's the the first part of it is the other part of it and i'm going to go more into this a little bit is you have a challenge when you bring somebody in you don't know now notice here i'm doing something a little different with this there's two different types there's vanillas and someone you don't know i don't give a fuck how long you've been in the lifestyle if you have someone male or female at a party you don't know them you've never partied with them or no one in the room knows them or no one in the room has partied with them that is a fucking just a a nightmare waiting to happen because you know what somebody should know everybody in that room somebody should be able to vouch for that guy or that girl and know that they're not a fucking perv that they're not somebody that thinks you're just a piece meat, that they're not going in the bathroom fucking doing lines of coke and shooting heroin and going to come out fucking waving a gun and fucking blow your brains out because it could happen. Somebody needs to know they're not a fucking cop. Seriously, you could be in a state that's illegal. You don't know. Somebody needs to know they're not a reporter. Somebody needs to know who the fuck, if you're going to get naked with people, Somebody needs to know they're not a reporter somebody needs to know somebody needs to know who the fuck if you're going to get naked with people somebody needs to somebody needs to know that person there should be nobody that everybody goes well who was that guy did you know no i thought you knew him did you know no how the fuck did he get in at that point in time you have a responsibility so if you're the host of said event and when somebody walks in who are you with? Why I'm with them? What's their names? And call that person. Do you know this fucking person? No. Get the fuck out. Okay? You don't fucking, you don't do that. That's one of the problems. And that's even if they're a swinger. You may have seen them at 70 different swinger events. Rock on rock on that's awesome but if you don't know that they're not going to wig the fuck out or what they're like to play with you that is a dangerous situation that's a dangerous situation for you and your guests now i know it's a game in the lifestyle we all like to play it it's hotter than fuck there's nothing more fun than going to a bar finding a vanilla and bagging a vanilla okay it's like big game hunting it's like going on fucking safari okay well i mean seriously it is do you want to shoot the tiger cub or do you want the big old fucking lion with the big old mane you want you want the fucking vanilla you bag a vanilla rock on but you run a risk when you bag a vanilla because you don't know how they're going to react now it's one thing if you and i go out and we go vanilla hunting which we don't do very often but we sure would like to actually ever done that we're gonna we're gonna wear like safari costumes next time we go it's gonna be great okay but if we want to do that and we want to bring another a different gal or a different guy and have a threesome we've done that before okay we have and it was awesome anyways that's just on us we can kind of control that situation but if you're going to have a hotel party or a a house party to just bring a vanilla in there that sensory overload and that vanilla does not know your rules they don't even remember what vanillas think remember you guys vanillas I'll see you next time. bring a vanilla in there that sensory overload and that vanilla does not know your rules they don't even remember what vanillas think remember you guys vanillas think all we do is fuck anybody and everybody that moves so if a vanilla is in there and they don't know what's going on it's a problem okay there was a good comment you that you don't want me i was just trying to follow no oh okay so here. Oh, okay. So what we're going to do is we're going to take a quick break here. We're going to come right back because our whole show is about consent because we've had some other questions on consent that we're going to tackle and answer. Okay? So we'll be right back. Hey, folks. You want to make sure that you learn more about Crazy Truth and Miss Amanda and myself? Visit our website at www.crazycasba.com. You can find out about upcoming events, get some great merchandise, learn more about us, send us your comment, or sign up for our newsletter. We can't wait to talk and get to know you. www.crazycasma.com Okay, we are back. Continuing our discussion about consent. Okay, so we've talked about some extreme examples of consent right now. I want to delve into a little more of the gray area, if you okay okay because there there is different there's different opinions about how much consent do you need to do how much consent do you need and what do you need consent to do okay and what i mean by that there are different views points and opinion now before i start this point okay let me make it perfectly clear i'm not saying that one one way is right or one way is wrong i'm just we're just we're it's a smorgasbord of information please eat my smorgasbord okay that's what that's i give you consent okay so there are some people and it's becoming more and more and more predominant again literally everything down to me touching your shoulder, I need to ask you permission before I do that. Okay? And it's spreading. This is not something new. This is coming back. There are different levels, and for any part of it, may I. Now, there's other, like here in the Midwest, it's more kind of implied, it's more of a, you don't necessarily have to get, every group's a little different, but permission for me to touch your shoulder or whatever. But if you say no, then I know to stop, okay? And some people go, well, you just need more consent for, you know, sex. But again, all these touching and things are leading, are steps leading up to sex. Some people naturally touch you to talk. Right, some people... They're touchy people. Right, exactly. My opinion, pretty much, you can touch me, it doesn't bother me. And your cooter? I've had, if it's through clothes, I don't care. We're not advocating just walk up and grab a cooter i've had if it's through clothes i don't care well we're not advocating but if i jump back and i move that's or i jump forward and joke you you've done that with some guy that smacked my ass yes i did yeah you did yes i did okay and there's another one smacking asses causing pain i mean here's the thing the the challenge when you have that gray area again is that if you're a newbie and we've talked about this before if you're a newbie all right you don't know when in rome do as the romans and every guy he sees you he's interested a guy is interested in you and he's watched four guys in a row come and slap your ass he doesn't understand there's a built-in relationship there and all of a sudden so he walks up and he pops your ass and all of a sudden i'm turning around going what the fuck dude and you're turning around going what the fuck dude they don't know okay so the reason i bring that up is number one educate people if you're someone that's hosting any type of an event at all have your rules just like Just like we have our rules on our page, clearly out there. Have the rules out there so people that are new know. Because being new, you can make a mistake and not mean to. Okay. There are some people that don't care about the rules. Okay. But if your rules in your group or your whatever is, you need permission, you ask permission before you touch at all. And that's what you're most comfortable with. Look, you're never going to go wrong by asking for permission too much. No. Okay. Someone may eventually say, stop asking permission. You can do whatever. Okay. Or, or, you know, yes, you can touch me. That's okay. But you're never going to go wrong by asking for more permissions. In this day and age, I'd rather get your permission any time to have you say, cool, quit asking me versus having it come out that I touched you and you were not comfortable with it. If you don't know, don't do it. Exactly. And there's a great rule. If you don't know if this would be considered inappropriate or appropriate touching or inappropriate or appropriate activity don't do it error on the side of caution okay because here's the deal well i didn't know well then if you didn't know why the fuck would you do it think a great way this is gonna sound horrible especially swinging do you want it done to your mother
Speaker2: okay
Speaker1: well seriously i mean i know that sounds gross some maybe but here's the thing would you want some guy would you want to be standing there and you you bring your your mom to your to meet people at your job and you got this one douchebag that his way that he thinks it's okay to walk up and say hi she walks up and says hi missus and grabs her cooter through her pants would you want that to happen to your mom and the answer is well fuck no that's gross well guess what maybe walking up to some other random woman you don't know just because she's a swinger maybe she doesn't want She doesn't want to, you know, shake your hand with her cooter. Maybe that's not okay it sounds stupid but i mean it's really it's really the truth you know think it through a little bit here's the deal we in the united states as a general rule do not greet with kisses right we okay as swingers we're a huggy group that's pretty common we're pretty huggy group especially after you've met them and then when you say goodbye that same night usually you hug right we're a huggy sort of thing but we don't do the kiss on the cheeks so if if i don't know you and i want to introduce myself hi i'm cole i'm mr casbah whatever the case may be i'm a big sweaty guy and think you're hot and all of a sudden i just fucking start macking macking on you or trying to kiss your cheeks whatever that's not appropriate that's not like a customary greeting just because we're swingers and just because we're excited and just because there's a chance we might get to get our junk wet doesn't mean we should become retarded and completely fucking idiotic and lose any vague form of common sense i mean that's it that's a huge thing with with that think before you do things guys and girls hey look here's a plan if you can't handle your alcohol if you get drunk and you black out I'm going to go out. with that think before you do things guys and girls hey look here's a plan if you can't handle your alcohol if you get drunk and you black out well maybe you shouldn't drink at a swinger event we've seen that before saying alcohol is not an excuse drug use is not an excuse being new only goes so far okay so you you have control of control of yourself, and you need to run with that control. I want to put a special thing out here to people that are hosting events. And look, there's all different sizes of events, obviously, okay? People know that we host giant hotel takeovers and campground takeovers and and really large events and there's there's folks that other folks that host giant events like that there's people that host all realms in between a really common type of of thing you see it a lot is maybe instead of a house party it's basically a house party at some other location so usually it's like a hotel party or a couple of suites at a hotel a couple of rooms hooked together whatever so it's it's the same size as a house party maybe you know anywhere between you know six to ten maybe 15 people uh whatever type scenario you You still have the same responsibility putting on an event that size that we do or anyone else is putting on a large event okay i understand the idea is you want to get to play okay folks let me in let you all in on a little secret when When you host big events, you don't get to play, or a very minimal amount. Look, you don't put on big events because you just want to get laid a lot. It doesn't work that way, okay? And part of that is because you have to be responsible if somebody needs something, okay? We know that you love your your tennessee fire and i love my rum and given the opportunity and the lack of responsibility if we have no responsibilities for a night we can hammer that shit like bosses and we can be the fucking the naked life of the party yeah like really easy okay yeah i've been there done that and you know what it's fun to do okay but when we're hosting our own events we can't do that because we have to be able to be under control in case somebody needs something right well even if you're hosting just a little party look i understand you want to fuck and you want to you want to drink and you want to of fun too because it's not fun not to do that but you have to be aware of your guests and what's going on because here's the deal yes we're all adults okay but we all know that booze and sex when mixed together can get pretty fucking out of control it causes normal people to have all their blood flow to their pussy lips or Thank you. booze and sex when mixed together can get pretty fucking out of control it causes normal people to have all their blood flow to their pussy lips or flow to their dick and any other organs just pretty much shut down okay so it's up it's still up to you to make sure that your guests are okay when you have a little house party a little hotel room party whatever the case may be, if you know who you're inviting and you know them personally, you know if you can play and not have to keep an eye because you know that's not the type of person they are. Right, exactly. But if you're randomly sending invites to whoever and you don't really know them, you should remain intact to be able to watch over your guests yeah you need to and look i know the temptation is you're out you see that hot person whatever the case may be you gotta think i mean the the situation and and here's the deal again we're talking about a situation that happened last night, May 4th. Okay. Here's one of the challenges. There was multiple events, swinger events from different groups and whatever, that people were staying at the same hotel. So here's the deal. I know that because as swingers, we like to share. And at the end of the night, whether it's you and I the more the merrier right the party's gonna ramp up the more people there's that's more pussy that's more dick that's more laughter that's more just good company it's just more fun right the challenge is that again that's when all of a sudden if if you're not have all of your shit together, right? What happens is that's when somebody comes in and that's when you have a problem, okay? That's when you have a problem. Now, I want to put out there, there was a good, but acceptable ending to this situation because the person had to yell no and they it did stop okay but the thing is is that it had to be said a second time it had to be yelled shouldn't have had to be it shouldn't have been it shouldn't have been and and the thing is is look we're not sitting we're not perfect okay nobody is i can i can honestly say that i have been drunk at the party and and overstepped my bounds and and was told so and was fucking rightly called out for it where it was very simply i'm not comfortable with that stop and that's all it took i can tell you that when you fuck up and you make that mistake you feel horrible you really do i mean i was drunk drunk and i felt horrible and i felt horrible the next day and i felt horrible in fact i sent you know a note apologized i i was terrified and embarrassed to run into him again you know because being drunk was an excuse and it still it was something where i didn't use common sense this is when we're way newer in the lifestyle still doesn't make it okay okay it's still that you know i don't want to i'm not trying to say oh we're perfect and we're angels and that just no it doesn't justify shit so i understand and we can understand a mistake but here's the deal when someone says no about trying to take somebody's clothes off or trying to get them to do something okay that's not a that's not an accident that they didn't realize when someone's trying to push you onto your knees. That's not an accident when you're fighting them and say, no. Oh, I didn't realize that's what it meant. Oh, what? You just thought she wanted to jump in jacks all of a sudden? Come on. That's not an accident. And the key is, in the lifestyle, there's no place for this kind of shit. There's just not. and and so the follow-up with this is what do you do if what if you do if you're not the you're not the person not not consenting or you're not the non-consent or you're just somebody else there what do you do because that's the other question we get asked all the time well i saw this what do i do i don't want to get involved or you know we're in the middle of fucking up what what do i do as a guy okay and i understand every guy has different values and morals whatever again look either you're a dude or you're not okay it's i mean it's really that fucking simple as a guy if i see a woman say no stop or even look uncomfortable i have been we've been in situations all the time where it wasn't even fucking at that point it was at the bar and the woman looked at me and you could just see the look in her eyes was help me okay my natural instinct is i'm going to go help i'm going to i look at every woman as if if it's you what do i want to have happen i'm not going to go run find anybody else i'm going to jump in immediately to try to help is that always the best solution probably not but i'm going to at least say hey stop knock it off whatever and and we'll get attention over there if you are a female or if you're a male and you don't feel like you can actually stop that situation yourself stop what you're doing go get help or say hey a lot of times it will stop if you're in a situation somebody else sees it going on and somebody goes hey no she said fucking no a lot of times that'll be enough to cause it to stop right there but stop what you're doing i know it kills the mood of the party but it doesn't kill the mood of the party like watching one of your friends or finding out the next day that one of your friends was raped molested uncomfortable sexually assaulted whatever the case may be stop what you're doing stop get that fucking the person the fucking out and here's the deal i don't care if they're your best friend okay she said no get the fuck out you need to leave dude there's never there's never a justification for that person to stay having sex with somebody in the next bed you can get it inserted and turn and go she said knock it off yeah and and that should stop it because it's like oh shit somebody else saw me right and if it doesn't then you physically stop it and vice versa the same thing can happen the other way where look if you see a lot of times for guys it's harder for a guy to tell a girl no but or but if a girl is doing something like actually let me take this back it's some things it's harder to tell a girl no i promise you there hasn't been any guy out listening right now if you've ever had a chick get super teethy on your dick when She's giving you a blow job, right? I bet you had no problem telling her to quit. Just saying, keep that in mind, okay? Because once that bitch bites down, yeah, it's over, okay? But let's just say, and that's a joke for everybody who doesn't know. Anyways, but let's just say that it is something. Again, as a female, you can do the same thing whether it's it can be a 300 pound six foot eight monster guy if you can say she said no that's another person that's bringing attention to it she said no stop you can go and then get help if you have to it's another person but if you're a female and you hear the guy your husband or your friend just another guy go stop no don't do that i don't like it no don't do that Thank you. if you have to it's another person but if you're a female and you hear the guy your husband or your friend just another guy go stop no don't do that i don't like it no don't do that you can also say hey he said no because that's something that needs to be reminded a lot of times it's easier for a another woman to say that to another woman because the guy doesn't want to feel like a wuss or whatever the case may be but you both sides you need to step up and take that responsibility and say they said no and then you need to get help and then you need to remember if the person bolts right let's say they're embarrassed and they leave which is what they should do okay you need to know and this is why host and hostesses of parties, you need to know who the fuck was there. Because we can't, as page owners, as club owners, as people that are trying to provide safe environments for the lifestyle, and we've got several of them close to us, they all ultimately want to provide a safe environment we cannot help you we cannot make sure that guy or girl douchebag is away from the lifestyle if we don't know who the fuck it was if we don't know who it was we can't do anything and what that does is that means they're gonna have another opportunity and it's like help us help you because as owners i i know i can speak for every single one of the owners within a 200 mile radius of where we are at none of them want to see somebody that is going to break that cardinal rule in an event they they don't they don't want that it looks bad on us when when you have some douchebag running around in your event and you find out after the fact they've been to 70 other events and you know at doing the same shit and well and that's one of the things we talk okay because the reality is is here's the deal if i find out that someone was doing that at a little house party or a little hotel party or a little meet and greet or whatever the case may be it could be three states away when they go to sign up for crazy winter nights or crazy summer nights i'm gonna say no i'm sorry you're banned or if they're on if they're on our page we're gonna kick them off our page we won't tolerate that kind of stuff and most of the page owners and most of the the folks are the exact same way and we've done it and and we've done it and and here's the thing there's there's no there's no like makeup for that you can't kiss up and and well we've only had two instances right that's come about but but we you know that we take that very seriously so the okay the final part i want to hit to on this i don't know where on time i don't care uh the final part that i want to i want to hit on this is that okay are there some things that we can all do to maybe help prevent the incidental lack of consent? Okay. And what I mean by the incidental is the messages that we're sending. Help send better, not that we can prevent it, but how can we send better messages that's what i want to say better messages about what our intentions are again let me make this very clear i don't care what a man or a woman wears i don't care how they walk i don't care how they dress i don't care any of those things okay that none of those things give you the right to unwantedly touch a man or a woman okay with that being said i think there are things that we can all do to to better help prevent some situations number one booze uh by being more aware of how much booze the other people have had you know look, look, if somebody's getting really, really drunk, you know what? Stop them right there. Don't even let it get back to the hotel. Don't let it get down to the playrooms. Don't let it get any to the naked part. You know, drunk and naked is stupid.
Speaker3: Okay?
Speaker1: I mean, so stop it there and go, no, we're not interested. And stop it. I think when we try to be nice and go, well, they'll sober up or whatever. No, they won't. Okay? Or they'll be okay. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker4: I don't know.
Speaker1: I don't know interested, and stop it. I think when we try to be nice and go, well, they'll sober up or whatever. No, they won't, okay? Or they'll be okay. They'll just probably pass out. No, they won't. Don't, okay? Number two, your own alcohol consumption. If you're getting – we have a plan, right? When we go out, some nights it's your night to get all fucked up, and what happens? I maybe have a drink. And there's some nights it's my night to get all fucked up and what happens i maybe have a drink and there's some nights it's my night to get all fucked up and what happens i get slobbery ass drunk and i don't know what you do no you have you have a drink okay we watch out for each other okay so the buddy system we've talked about before watching out for each other a little bit okay number three who you hang with who you hang with is fucking important here's the deal if the same situations continue to happen every single time to either you or somebody else and there's always the same people involved right it's always the same motherfuckers all the way through then guess where the problem is okay now if if the same situation happens but you're the only thing that's the consistent everybody else is different every time than where maybe the problem is okay but if the same host the hostesses and there's the same issues every time fucking figure it out quit hanging with them okay maybe hanging with at other events, but just know that you have to be on a different level of guard when you're going to that level, okay? And, guys, the final thing is just common sense. Know your surroundings, okay? Know who the fuck you're there with. Look, I'm sorry. Before anybody has any right to stick their dick in anything or to have anything stuck in them, at least a simple high I am. Okay, now I understand. You don't always have to remember their name. I get it. That's called sport fucking. But at least initially, everybody in the room should at least know who everybody is before they get naked. Okay, and if they don't do that then then it can be issues so if there's somebody you don't know there primarily this is what i'm saying with this if there's somebody there you don't know make it a point to go introduce yourself just so that you have the peace of mind that you know who this is that you can put a name and a face together okay if somebody comes in after the fact and it can happen okay assess the situation and if it's something you're not comfortable if it's just a gut feel that goes trust your gut leave never don't trust your gut okay that's the obviously consent isn't, you know, we're not perfect. We're just trying to give you some basic ideas, hopefully some things that will help you. Uh, you know what? Here's the one thing I'd ask, man, write us, send us emails, crazy casbah at gmail, crazy.casbah at gmail.com. Let us know what you thought of this episode. Let us know, let us know things that you think we'll do follow-up episodes on consent because it's an important topic for all of us so we want everybody to stay safe so make sure you know let us know what you thought give us your opinion give us feedback areas we can should talk more and maybe things you thought we were wrong about okay uh real quick i gotta say bye to my sponsors again. Remember, Natural Pines Resort, the adult playground, the place where you can take in, whether you're a nudist or a lifestylist, and let the worries of the week melt away like you're close. Visit them at www.naturalpinesresorts.com. Make sure you let them know Kazma's saying, book them today. And don't forget to visit our website at www.crazyk resorts.com make sure you let them know casbah's saying book them today and don't forget to visit our website at www dot crazy casbah dot com buy some merch see our stuff send us a note from there all right you're going to want to make sure you go visit our youtube channel and subscribe we've got some exciting new features getting ready to roll out and you're going to want to be a part of those so go to www.youtube.com backslash c backslash kazbah k-a-s-b-h and if you like what you hear visit our patreon www.patreon.com backslash crazy k-r-a-z-y kazbah k-a-s-b-h and you can also follow us on twitter that'd be at truth crazy you can You can follow us on Instagram at crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y underscore Casbah, K-A-S-B-H. Don't forget to sign up on our YouTube or on our Facebook page, which would be Crazy Truth. And you can always send us emails. We love your emails at crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y dot Casbah, K-A-S-B-H, at gmail.com. And don't forget, everybody needs some Crazy Truth merch. That's right. We've got merchandise. Go to teespring.com backslash stores backslash crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y, hyphen, truth. Till next time. Doing it the only way I know how. The only way I want to. And the only fucking way I ever will. Kazma style.
Speaker3: Out. Bye.