Krazy Truth #40 The World famous sound guy interview

Transcript

Speaker1: hey kids the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations adult language themes and other adult topics if you're easily offended this show's not for you do you need a little slide in your glide does your wiener get stuck in the hallway well visit our friends at spunk lube that thing, too, Spunk Lube. Visit our friends at Spunk Lube, www.spunklube.com. You'll always have a friend in CASBA. Get your 10% off of all of your Spunk Lube needs by putting CASBA, K-A-S-B-H, in the coupon code. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. You know what? Hey're doing something totally different i'm your host with the most i am cole i am not here with the lovely lovely miss amanda you'll notice no cleavage uh instead we are here today with the world famous sound guy hey how you doing uh and that's all we're gonna call him you can call him douche dick whatever i'm just kidding say his name is sebastian uh and he's single so just saying uh so uh he has agreed to jump in because miss amanda is illin and not the party type of illin but rather the uh the uh you know nasty phlegmy kind phlegm so it's like a spunk lube for your nose so uh, anyway, so, yeah, so we're ready to roll with this. So, here we go. So, what am I supposed to start with? What do I normally start with? I usually start with a sex story, don't I? You do. I do. It's also an episode of a season and stuff. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I hope you find your dad. the this is season fucking two episode 39 they're doing charades right this is fucking hilarious sounds like uh episode season two season two episode 39 yeah so yeah i don't know it's more fun to watch him flounder a little bit anyways Anyways. So, yeah, in terms of sex stories, some people did some weird shit. It was kinky.
Speaker2: It was hot.
Speaker1: It was probably illegal. We'll probably just roll with that. Actually, we had quite a few of them. Well, there was a whole bunch. I mean, there's a bunch of people doing stupid shit. Here's the sex story for the night. Let's have a sex theme for the night tonight instead of a sex story, shall we?
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: The sex theme for the night is, if it seems like a dumb idea when you're sober, don't do it. What? Whoa. Every hole is not a potential date. Oh, Jesus. Every long, hard object is not a potential date. Okay. I mean, if you're brave enough. If you're brave enough. you know, look. If you're going to do that, all I ask is this. If you're going to be brave enough to fuck up like a beehive, take a picture. A cactus. Take a picture. That's all we ask. You have to take a picture. No one's going to believe it. We'll give you free merch. I will give you free merch. Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely. All day long for that kind of stuff. So there's the sex story. See, I make it easy. Yeah. i make it easy yeah all right so uh so slappy here thought he was gonna be able to fucking play stump stump the fat kid uh on some questions i got some i got some good questions for tonight and i got some bullshit answers let's see what happens what could we what could possibly go wrong the dog doesn't have a kennel on tonight so i actually our first question tonight, this is actually from a non-swinger. Okay. From a non-swinger to a swinger. All right, awesome. So, this is from Dave. I'm sorry, I don't know what city or state Dave is from. Dave's not here, man. But Dave. He asks, when you're at home, what is your sex like and the central part of your relationship like? or are you thinking about the people you met at the last swinger party uh depends if they're really hot no here's that that's actually a really good question so the problem with most vanillas they have this misconception right that the swinging lifestyle is if you were to take a an an orb, an orb of your life that the swinging lifestyle is, if you were to take an orb, an orb of your life, that the swinging lifestyle fills 99% of that orb, and there's just like this one little percent that kind of floats around that's the rest of your life. It's not that way. Okay, when you're first new, look, when you first, if you've hooked, after the first time you've hooked up with somebody or another couple or whatever the case may be, yeah, 90% of your conversation is going to be the rest of that week, that day, maybe even a little longer about that experience because it was fucking hot. But the new wears off. The new wears off. It doesn't – it shouldn't change. Swinging is designed to enhance your sex life, not replace it. So some of our best sex with Miss Amanda and I is when – and don't you love hearing about this? This is awesome. For those of you who don't know, our world-famous song guy is our oldest son. So some of our best sex, when you get done hooking up with somebody, is the reconnection sex. That's hot. That's like fucking... That's not what you call it. No, we call it Mark on our territory. So, no, I don't piss on her. Yeah, we don't piss on each other. We've never been that drunk, no. I have to admit, when you guys first told us you guys were swingers, I just thought it was infidelity. I thought it was like some sort of, well, you also have to keep in mind, I saw that first really bad triad thing you guys had going on. That was a disaster. That was so bad, I knew it was bad. It wasn't a triad. That was a fuck-ad is what that was. That was a complete disaster. But it was bad all around. Well, one, number one, I worked with a girl. Yeah. Okay, so if you could possibly do anything wrong, find somebody you work with, and then try to, and when they're way younger, way younger, they were the same age as you. Yeah, I remember that. Actually, she was, I think she's a year older. Not far off. Not much. Not far off. You could have dated her, too. Yeah, that was just but but see but you you mix that bad scenario with you guys with not knowing anything about swinging like i know now well and you didn't you don't get a good and that wasn't the first thing you didn't know we'd been in the lifestyle for well over a year had you before that happened uh-huh yeah yeah because it took a long time look the magical unicorn there's a reason single chicks are unicorns okay because they're hard to fucking find yeah okay so it was not like the first thing we did was boom hey yeah let's have a threesome with another chick so you didn't get to see that part of it ahead of time and yes that first thing you saw was like a complete and total absolute clusterfuck a lot of people think that's their general perception of swinging is it's just about fucking yeah and we're all just a bunch of fucking dirty hippies out running around and sticking our dick or in whatever we can. And it's really not that way. In fact, sadly enough, it's less that way now. There's more dating there than there was when we got into it. When we first started, though, it was about the second. Yes, when we first started, we got into it for the second. Look, we did not get into the lifestyle for some high and mighty greater cause. We just want to meet people and broaden our friend base. No, we got into it because we wanted to fuck other people because that would be fun. Yeah. And it was. What? Wait a minute. Sex feels good? Yeah, no shit. So we've heard. And it still is fun. But it doesn't change like, change like you know once the new wore off even like you'd have an experience and let's say you'd go a month or two months without an experience or longer and well once the new wears off then you go back to like your regular scheduled programming then you're talking about what the fucking kids are being fucking retards in in school and their shitty grades yeah you heard it uh then you go back to you know well you know the dog's yakking on the carpet or you know you go back to the car needs something done on it yeah your regular life takes back over yeah the problem is some people some people do make it all consuming now we're the exception to the rule right because This is what I do, right? But even this is still we still have like regular conversations and stuff and we still you know talk about dishes and the carnage shit and the kids are finding out a house because they suck and you know i mean all that kind of stuff so you know it does work out that way now again for those of you who do not know, that are listening in Radio Land, we are also live on our world-famous website, which if you'd like to become part of the Crazy Kazbas, you can actually do that by going to send us an email at www. No, what? Crazy. Crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y dot Kaz casbah k-a-s-b-h at gmail.com uh so troy uh that's so funny uh uh troy was at a walmart in kansas this weekend took a picture with a pineapple and heard a lady say they're swingers he has a black ring on sweet we're reaching people did you go talk to him no he was at walmart kansas someone in kansas yeah well but okay there's been a big thing there was just another big article came out huge thing in kansas well it was huge yeah i was a reporter in kansas city because one of the clubs down there a bunch of fucking retards uh one of the clubs down there is really, really open and tries to run other clubs out by being very public. And... clubs down there a bunch of fucking retards uh one of the clubs down there is really really open it's trying to tries to run other clubs out by being very public and so there's they did a whole big thing about the upside down pineapples the black rings and all that kind of stuff look here's the deal 99.999 percent of the population that are non-lifestyle people have no idea about any of the signals of what a lifestyle is you can walk up with a sign that says you know there's shirts that say uh it's not crazy true i have one there's shirts that say you know it's not cheating my husband likes to watch yeah okay and people would not equate that to swingers most people don't give a shit well yeah but yeah most people don't okay and that was in salina is that right Thank you. to watch yeah okay and people would not equate that to swingers most people don't give a shit well yeah but yeah most people okay and that was in salina is that right no it's salina is it that doesn't sound right it sounds slimy well no i can't go there we love y'all in kansas no we love everybody in kansas too we love everybody yeah no we don't it's something like that so yeah so the thing is you do have a normal now if your relationship does not let's say one side can't get over the whole swing experience and it becomes 99 of your your life that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at the moment anyway well here's the thing sex shouldn't be 99 of your life right i mean look come on you're a whore well yeah no i don don't get paid I'm a slut there's totally different fair enough the thing is is that most people's relationship isn't based upon well what are you talking about 99% of the time sex well no fuck no that isn't what most people talk about so right it's the same with this sex with other people I mean that's just adding other names now do you play cute little games sometime and go through and try to make lists and see if you can remember and count and stuff? Sure. What was her name again? Hey, if you haven't had sex with them three times in sport fucking, you don't have another name. That's the rules. That's just an added bonus. All right. Fair enough. That'll give me hate mail. Perfect. We don't get enough hate mail, man. I know we don't. We're working on it. We want to do a hate mail episode. We need the hate. We'll get more hate mail now because we're like where the fuck's amanda where's miss amanda nobody wants to see cole on there yeah no one wants to see some bald guy and some baldeen guy who's balding oh well it's not me i'm already there yeah yeah look at this shit i'm with it you need to get healthy god damn it just saying no this is what makes this fun fire away come on keep shooting I'm ready oh yeah so again I apologize I didn't ask where anybody was from my bad it's his first day on the job don't worry he's getting docked this episode it's so good you're not getting talent pay this time around so Johnass. So John asked, is it possible to not be good-looking enough? Well, it depends on whether or not you have a page. No, I – no. Yes, it is – okay, I'm going to be – this is going to sound horrible, but you've got to hear the whole thing through. I actually wasn't expecting that. With certain groups, yes groups yes okay because here's the reality of it in the lifestyle okay we all say it's adult and it's mature but it's just a microcosm of life right yeah so you have a a high school variation of people in the lifestyle is the best way and i'm not saying that for the drama part but just the best way to look at it you have groups right that that carries on through other things there's clicks in an office there's clicks in office i get what you're saying you have groups that are more the beautiful there's there's a group out there that they only do parties for 35 and younger okay okay their goal is to try to make younger people feel welcome in the lifestyle because if you're you're 26 years old if you were married or you and your girlfriend decided to go to a swinger party and you walked in they're all our age 45 and up okay it might be you guys are gonna be you guys are gonna be fresh fucking me that too you might not be but she fucking is and every dude's gonna be sitting there going sucking their guts in for the next two hours while they're trying to fucking get in her pants so yeah but you have groups that are more the beautiful people and you have groups that are you know that are that are looking for bbc and and bbw so you have different groups right what you learn if you do this long enough so certain groups your looks appearance body type whatever might not fit in okay but what you're gonna find just like in high school if you think back your freshman year in high school the the cool kids were a huge group and you know and the sportos and whatever by the time you graduated from high school the the really big group in high school was like all the rest of us just the normal kids right well what happens is that's the same thing that happens in the lifestyle is you know what you get to a point where you can be beautiful you can be you can be supermodel drop dead gorgeous if you're a flaming fucking cunt i'm not stinking my dick in you well that's that's what i was going to bring up you can make up for any lack of anything with personality yeah with a good with a good personality most of the time i mean and some entertainment but i mean and that's really the thing you can overcome a lot because here's the thing if somebody if i can have a great time i can laugh and it's like you know we have a blast together i'm much more interested part of that is my age you find that more as you get a little bit older some of the younger ones aren't quite as open to that okay but that? But that's just because they're younger. They don't understand. You're going to get there. Hey, dude, your balls are going to sag at some point in time, okay? You're going to get there. Your tits will not always stand up that perky all by themselves. So the thing is, is that for the rest of us, we start to realize. So we talked about these clubs have strict rules about who can and can't get in the pretty people clubs and stuff so do you think that that's okay to have only because it's in my mind i would say to a certain degree yes because it's a full on it while you got it i think you're attractive have attractive person sex while you're attractive because you won't be forever i i think it's okay to have it i think it's i think my thing is this okay do as that will okay because the one thing that i know is that 90 of the the we're super in shape we we're super fit, we're the beautiful people. What happens is when they actually, for whatever reason, stumble into one of our normal parties, and they find out that, you know what, yeah, I'm 285 pounds, but I'm a fucking bundle of laughs to be around. One more time.
Speaker2: Shut up.
Speaker1: I'm a bundle of laughs to be around. And they start to realize that, you know what, you get God's honest truth you take a group of i don't know 10 couples age 40 to 50 or maybe like 45 to 55 in that age range you get a couple drinks in us you know what we're the craziest motherfuckers you're ever going to meet that's true because we're to the point in our life i've seen it we ain't scared we're gonna laugh we're gonna make sure and all of a sudden you you're gonna look at at that pretty people party or that that snobby group would go well they're no fun now i do want to preface this before we go too far we're not saying that all attractive people are snobs or assholes it's i'll say it so well no not all of them are some are some are and some non-attractive snob people can be snobs and assholes too and we yeah and we try to sort those out that's what yeah yeah i'm just saying it is but just know this there is a degree of guilt with association yeah look if you're a fun person but you're only going to hang out with a certain fucking clique yeah Yeah. Right? Yeah. Here's the deal. You are automatically going to have guilt by association with that. Yeah. Okay? So here's the deal. At 46 years old, I ain't chasing shit. Yeah. Okay, you might be 23 and the hottest little ass I've ever seen. I ain't chasing your ass. I'm too old for that bullshit yeah you could be no i wouldn't i would acknowledge i would acknowledge and i would try to cockwalk the other old guys going listen to the peanut gallery here you have a chalkboard yeah no shit the thing is is you don't chase either you ain't i you're you won't you only chase to a degree she's got tits she doesn't have to chase bullshit bullshit because guess what she's got 47 year old tits she ain't got 27 year old tits so you want to you want to nail a 30 something you want to nail a 30 something you you got to work a little bit harder i guess and the thing is is that basically at our age yes initially when you see a hot young couple walk in or a hard-bodied couple walk in yeah you
Speaker2: Thank you. And the thing is, is that basically at our age, yes, initially when you see a hot young
Speaker1: couple walk in or a hard-bodied couple walk in, yeah, you tend to take notice. Well, of course. But once you regain to pull your head out of your ass. Once the blood goes away from your dick and back up to your head. Yeah, at 46 years old, you're not going to fuck it. I ain't chasing shit. I'm too old for that shit. Look, man, here's the deal. Either you love me because you think I'm rich or you don't. It is that simple. I'll pull out a wad of a $100 bill with a whole bunch of ones in it so you think I'm loaded. And if that gets you, then I'm in. And that's on you. Yeah. You might want to ask an accountant to see the next. If you want to find out if a rich guy's pulling out money, an old man, you know, got going this should be a standard women this is for you i'm giving you a tip here oh no okay when that dude pulls out the wad of cash what you need to do is don't look at the first five bills look remember anybody can go to the atm and pull 500 bucks out okay Okay. So what you want to do is look after that.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Because a wad this thick, that's a lot of fucking ones.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: And there's a hell of a lot of difference between a wad this thick full of ones and
Speaker2: hundies.
Speaker1: So, I mean, I'm giving away a secret. Now, now every chick's going to be like, I'm going to pull it in your wallet out. They're going to like dig into that. Looking in there, what you got in there? Notice mine's empty.
Speaker3: I just use plastic.
Speaker1: Well, you know, not if you're trying to impress hey baby i'm a stupid millennial i don't carry paper money that's see enough said there you go all right i think we should probably get back to questions no no it's fine uh okay oh hey look at there good look at that all right so this question's from suzanne uh what's the ratio of marriage sex to swinger sex and is there a perfect ratio uh what uh well i mean trying to pick your words carefully no No. Yeah. Well, actually, no. I don't. Okay, number one, there is no perfect ratio. Okay. Here's the cool thing about the lifestyle. You wouldn't even say one to one? No. Okay. No, because here's the deal. Maybe you and your wife have horrible sex. You love each other tremendously, but I'm a horrible fuck and she hates screwing me. Yeah. Okay, we know a couple where he had a fucking seal killer. Yeah. Okay? But he hurt her every time they fucked. Okay? So you can't even say one-to-one. So the cool part about the lifestyle is that it is designed to be something that is flexible and bending. So what the perfect, the perfect way to live the lifestyle for you at 26 or for me at 46 or for people that are 66 or we got some people that are 86 on our page uh the perfect way to to for that lifestyle what's the perfect sex for them it varies yeah and and one of the biggest fucking mistakes oh my god this pisses me off people constantly try to say this is the way this is what you're supposed to live it i'm gonna give you an example i know it's off topic no no that's fine go nuts here's the thing you see it with a lot of facebook pages okay our rules on our facebook page are very very simple don't be a douche yeah okay don't be a twat waffle don't be a twinkly twat don't do just don't be a dumbass you know no harassment the basic shit on a lot of other pages you have to introduce yourself you have to post a picture you have to be so active you have to be whatever that sounds like a lot of work well it is and i mean whatever it's their page do as that will okay but here's the deal maybe the way i want to experience the lifestyle is i just want to sit back and watch maybe we're so new that like the fact that we were joined a page was a huge step and so if you're going to say that i have to do you know i'll jump through all these hoops i'm not going to do it by the same token uh you can't take and tell somebody they they you know they're posting too much or or what the lifestyle is an individual choice i don't have a right to tell you how to how the lifestyle should be for you because i don't know your circumstances i'm not living your world okay yeah are there things that we see that we go okay that's fucked up yeah you know like i'll flat out say it anybody that gets in a lifestyle to save their marriage, you're a dumbass. That's not going to do it. Okay, this is not a counseling session. Fucking other people does not lead to a happier marriage. Right. It will lead to happier conversations. It will lead to divorce and happier lawyers. Okay. But overall, I don't have a right to tell you what your lifestyle experience because i don't want you telling me that i have to be into uh being into pegging okay no one's taking anything on my ass okay and i'm not gonna say that you don't you know you don't have the right to dictate that to me so why should i have the right to dictate that to you the only dictating should be going into dictating i don't know if that's a verb but all right we'll roll with that this is awesome did that answer the question look at me god i think that was pretty good i think that was a good answer yeah i'm top of my fucking head what do you think there chalkboard girl cough some phlegm for it so we know you're still here oh please don't no she doesn't have that is not the sexy gagging on dick sound going on that's it that's it that's i can't breathe out of one nostril how we doing on time uh you have five minutes awesome five minutes have awesome i think i think this is a good one. The next couple questions are longer ones. Okay. Nope. Nope. No, we're going to go fire. Fire away. Fire away. What? Okay. Fire away. Oh, my God. She can't count. She can't keep time. She's doped up. Yeah. She's got medicine head right now. I do, too asked okay go ahead all right so deb says i have a physical defect that affects my appearance it can sometimes be off-putting to people do you have any tips for overcoming this yes uh i got tips for everything uh just the tips just just the tips i do okay here's the thing number one depending on what it is it the the image that you project out is going to be the image that's going to be received so so look and i understand being self-conscious because i get it but if if you have a degree of confidence and and love for yourself of who you are that's going to come out to the people that you meet okay depending on what that defect is obviously there are some people that it's giving some they just can't get over right that doesn't matter if it's swinging or if it's dating in real life that just is what it is yeah a lot of people some of the best things to do a lot of times is to acknowledge it make a joke make well i like to make jokes about stuff but acknowledge it explain what it is yeah and it make it a non-issue uh don't take it personally if someone if someone if that's a if that's a deal killer yeah being a big fat guy you know what my belly is is a defect that at times will cost me from getting laid yeah right i get it because not every chick wants to have all this love and goober and all over i mean i understand it doesn't want to get squished it doesn't want to get squished so i mean that's the thing is that but a huge part of it a huge part of it is about how you portray it yeah and and you have to be okay because i'm going to tell you this and and we hear it said all the time and and whatever but it's really true you have to love you okay and you cannot one of the biggest mistakes in lifestyles people allow themselves to be defined by what people in the lifestyle think of
Speaker2: them.
Speaker1: That it's like taking it back to in high school. When you were in high school,
Speaker2: you know, if you were,
Speaker1: if a girl saw you were a geek, you defined yourself as a geek. We're past that as adults. Here's the deal. If somebody doesn't like me for me, here's what I say. Fuck you.
Speaker2: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker1: You don't need them. You don't need that kind of shit in your life because I promise there's somebody for everybody. And there's a lot of people out there like me and like Miss Amanda that are a point of, you know, we have hung out with people that are missing limbs. We've hung out with people with insulin pumps. We've hung out with all different types of things. Here's the personality. And the biggest thing that's going to attract me to you, if you have something that stands out, makes you different or unique, and you're still confident to come up and talk to me, okay, that's automatically a turn on. Okay, that's automatically hot. But also be realistic. I mean, look, send your hate mail. Oh, no. Okay. You know, I you know i mean if you're like you know if it's like the the i don't think what the movie was where where uh where the guy had literally a dick for a nose uh i mean okay you're gonna get some different looks with that i mean just yeah be prepared for that if a lot of a lot of girls are gonna be like you Can you use your nose? Yeah, no shit. Follow your nose. Just say, oh, here we go. Here we go. What? Damn it. So, yeah. So, I mean, that's the thing. No, I agree, though. Yeah. I definitely agree. I mean, even with things that aren't like a physical defect or scarring and stuff, Everybody's got insecurities, but if you let them dictate how you live, that's not going to do you any good. If you let other people... Look, life is too fucking short, okay? You're going to go through... That's why I'm known as a dick with arms, okay? I have a lot of haters, and they have their opinions on me. And here's what I think. on that's awesome great i'm glad you're paying me fuck you i i don't care you know because here's it's my life it's and and if i spend all my time worrying about what is going to make everybody else happy then i'm going to be miserable right and that's not what fuck that yeah i'm not interested that's not fun no no and swinging is supposed to be fun if it Yeah. Look, if you're fucking other people and that's not what it is. Yeah, I'm not interested in that. That's not fun. No, no. And swinging is supposed to be fun. Look, if you're fucking other people and that's not fun, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker2: Okay?
Speaker1: It's just kind of one of those things. That's why sport fucking is fun. I mean, it's like anything. It's like athletics.
Speaker2: You know?
Speaker1: I wouldn't run marathons.
Speaker2: Why?
Speaker1: Because that does not look fucking, that's not fun.
Speaker2: Right. Okay?
Speaker1: But if you're somebody that loves to run, well, to get up and run fucking 40 miles for shits and giggles, yippee-ki-ki- well to get up and run fucking 40 miles for shits and giggles yippee-ki-yay that's awesome go get them you know it just is what it is i mean to each their own but but if it's not fun fuck yeah no i'm out i'm way out i think okay so we're gonna stop there so let let's take a quick break and hear from our other sponsor. No. You guys all done? Yep, go ahead. Jeez. Fucking amateur day. All right, wait. For our other sponsor, hold on. Every day is amateur day. Wait, hold on. The other sponsor is not ready to go yet. Hi. Would you like to have the opportunity to hear your business name as part of the crazy truth, a chance to reach literally thousands of lifestyle members every single week? Well, this is your opportunity. We are currently taking sponsorship applications for the second quarter, both for our crazy truth podcasts and also for our videos and our crazy quickies. Reach out to us today. www.crazy.no. It's damn it. Crazy. Crazy. Casbah at gmail.com. But sponsorship in the subject line and one of our highly trained and much better spoken than I sales and marketing professionals will reach out to you today. Also or you feel free to call 402 432 1281 and contact us today to have an opportunity to talk about sponsorship opportunities to help promote your products. Again KazBank, we're here for you. to talk about sponsorship opportunities to help promote your products. Again,
Speaker2: Kaz Bank,
Speaker1: we're here for you. We're back! Or something like that. Something like that.
Speaker2: Jesus. You know,
Speaker1: we're super excited that we're in the, or in context, we're in talks with local drug dealers to have cocaine be our sponsor of our show.
Speaker2: Oh, Jesus.
Speaker1: And we're going to see what happens. We're all just doped up.
Speaker2: No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker1: You couldn't afford cocaine if you wanted to. I'd be skinnier. Diet plan. We don't actually advocate drug use. Nobody does drugs anymore. That's outdated.
Speaker2: Right?
Speaker1: Coke off the stripper's ass.
Speaker3: It's too old school.
Speaker2: Oh, shit.
Speaker1: This is a new world. Kindly, generally, we don't do that. How can she get any if you're doing it off of her ass think it through a little bit man geez i'm just kidding hey send hate mails it was great being on the radio shows all right go ahead fire away what could possibly go wrong all right this question is from maria i'm the maria thank you i'm the female half of a couple and i am hopelessly shy my west side story my shyness is hindering my husband and i's ability to hook up what can i do to get over my shy self without drinking oh fuck right we were so close there for a minute i was like well you know okay throwing a curveball in there okay well here's the first thing granted shyness is natural it's normal it's i'm the way from the way she made it sound like really shy well okay so the first thing that tells me is you're probably really swinging because he wanted to maybe so the first question i would have to ask is are you actually, are you actually excited and wanting to be in the lifestyle?
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: You had to decide that, okay? And you can still be shy and want to be in the lifestyle. I mean, don't get me wrong.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: But I get it. So the biggest thing is that you have to find what type of social settings you work best in. Do you work better when it's kind of a large crowd and you can just kind of blend in with the group and it's a group discussion? Do you work better when it's a real one-on-one type thing like you and another couple go out to dinner, you know, a more private conversation? Do you, you know, big events, small events? You know what works better when in just regular life so you apply that over right the other question the other part of then becomes your husband needs to be your ultimate wingman right because he needs to work with you you guys need to have like a strategy okay so if it's one of those things that um you feel more comfortable talking to the other woman first okay so if he's the one like in our relationship i'm the one that's the most like generally outgoing really wow whoa who'd have thunk it so as a general rule what'll happen is i'm gonna leave the charge and make the contact right so if that's if that's the way that your relationship is which sounds like probably what it is right then make needs to make sure that he's introducing, you do the other couple, and he's kind of, before he just starts talking to it. Almost like pushing you along or what? A little bit. I mean, more like, it'd be more like, okay, generally you meet up with another couple, two couples start talking. It's the obvious way it usually goes is, I'm going to start talking to the other woman okay okay you know i i'm actually i'm actually not super familiar on how that works right go ahead so okay so usually if if the girls want to play or if that's a draw but eventually that conversation is going to switch you're going to start talking to the person you're most likely to you know maybe fuck right so what he needs to be conscious of is though before he gets too wrapped up in his part of that conversation to help get a conversation going for his wife and kind of playing the moderator to to i don't know what i'm trying to think of well then recap kind of uh it's less a making it less of a one-on-one thing and more of a group right so so he can he can kind of help facilitate it till he's going to he should be able to look at you and know okay maria's starting to really get comfortable now i can see she's starting to relax and so then he it's kind of like okay the analogy i would give it's like teaching a kid to ride a bike okay right he needs to keep running behind holding on to the seat for a little bit longer until she's a little more comfortable and then slowly letting her go yep and and so that it's instead of like well hi i'm i'm tom and this is marie and this is bob and jen Hey, Jen, how are you? And then just totally fucking leaves her alone. So he has to work as a wingman. You don't want to hold her hand and drag her through the whole thing either. No, no. I mean, the thing is that you have to take in, and there's a degree of getting out of your comfort zone. Right. What you have to understand, Marie, you have to remember is, look, the lifestyle is made of, when you look at the demographics of the lifestyle, the average age is 35 to 55. They're married. They've got college. They've got a couple of kids. Okay. That's the average demographics across the board. So what you got to remember is what you actually have is you have a whole bunch of people that have been out of the dating scene for a long time so there's everybody has that same sort of nervousness going into it and and it's you know you have to work to break to break that as you got you have to take and push yourself a little bit to get to where you feel a little more uh where you feel a little more comfortable a little little more relaxed as you get going. Do you think that will come with time then? It will. It will come with time. It will come with time. It will come with... Let me change my question and ask that a different way. Okay. Has swinging, maybe not you, but maybe in Miss Amanda's case, made you more outgoing?
Speaker2: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker1: Made you more comfortable? Oh, absolutely. It's made her completely more comfortable. Because I remember times when she was hopeless. She wasn't. She did not like talking to anybody. No, she, no way.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: With us, it was always easier to, in a situation like that, i tend to take take charge with that and lead and lead lead the way here's what's really funny and a lot of people don't know that about about us everybody everybody looks at me and goes oh you're so confident you're so confident that's bullshit yeah okay the reality of it is is that the reality of it is is that 90 percent of the more uncomfortable I am, the more I'm going to take charge. Because if I'm uncomfortable, but I'm controlling the situation, I can steer the conversation accordingly. So has it helped her come out of her show? Yeah, it has. Generally, when we go to new places, I generally sit back and I'm very, very quiet. Okay? Unless I absolutely have to go the other way. So the reality of it is that it's helped me, too, to be more willing to approach different people. Especially women. For me to approach a woman is – there was no i never would do that never sometimes it sounds like you still fumble if you find them attractive depends how much i've been drinking and then yes when i've been drinking then then i'm a complete moron but but i will say though even like normal day-to-day stuff i've noticed mom's gotten a lot better well yeah she didn't she ever used to be yeah because she's hot and everybody wants her it is what it is so you gotta quit saying mom it's gonna freak out sorry just saying there you go that's better no the thing is is you have to remember even when i sold cars okay and i was in the automotive business for 17 years none of my sponsors and so i ain't saying their fucking names anyways the thing is, is that when I first started selling cars, I had a horrible time selling cars to single females. Oh, really? Uh-huh. I had a horrible time. In fact, I couldn't sell a car to a single female to save my life because my fear was to, I never wanted to be that douchebag, pig-headed, bigoted fucking piece of crap. I was like, and here's the vanity mirror, so when you're putting on your makeup, and here's where the windows go. We had somebody do that to me. Yeah, we had somebody do that to when we were young. And I swore I would never do that. Well, the problem was, so I got all like JoJo the Circus Monkey and nervous, and I didn't know how to fucking sell to a single female because I was so afraid of offending them that I actually wasn't showing them some of the features that they really wanted to know about.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: And now you don't give a shit about offending anybody. No, I just don't fucking care. Now I say what it is. But when we first got in the lifestyle, that was the same way I was going up and talking to a single female is that I didn't want to come up and be that cheese ball fucking you know hey baby you know wild and crazy guys i didn't want to do that so i i didn't know a lot of times i'd push your mom first oh really oh fuck yeah because some of the other cheese ball guys were like hey baby we move her in front and then i could easily not look like a tool with the the chick yeah oh yeah well don't worry you all it was worry. You always look like a tool. It was a training program. Although there's a couple people right now that are listening on our live that got emails from me this week that can attest I'm still sometimes a cheese ball. Just saying, hey, what's up? Color me surprised. Uh-huh, yeah. Now I just cover it with, you know, I'm Casbah. Actually, now I admit it. Hey, do you mind if I'm going to be a cheese ball just for a cheese ball tool for just a quick second hey baby at least you want to hear my pickup line at least at least i didn't now i said at least i didn't send an unsolicited dick pic just say it hey you're not wrong though no but i sure did look for the opening to send one and i did oh goodness there we go it happens to the best it was what can i say yeah that was all of the questions i had prepared i'm sorry really that's it weak pussy uh no okay so uh what oh i didn't know i couldn't understand you at first you sound like okay so no so some other well we did get other questions other than the ones you were trying Well, no. I'm sure. Jesus. Stump Cole. Really? I thought it'd be kind of fun. Yeah. Okay. Actually, let's ask you some questions. This will be more fun. Oh. Okay. So, because for those of you that don't know, he did get his first experience in the lifestyle. like experience like fucking somebody way to go tool uh i don't want to hear that from you you didn't either i was working jackass so was i uh-huh uh so anyway so you your first impressions of going to a large uh hotel takeover because you're 26 so you're an adult you're officially but you're vanilla yep okay so an open-minded you're 26, so you're an adult, but you're vanilla. Yep. Okay. An open-minded vanilla. You're an open-minded. Well, yeah, exactly. You are. And we were paying you to be there, so, you know, for scarcity. But what did you walk away? What did you think you were going to see at crazy winter nights and compared to what you really saw so working on this show and knowing that you guys are swingers i've heard a lot of really crazy stories but that's basically you know that's all you only tell the really crazy stories right so i was kind of expecting it to be way more out of control than it was i'm like well this is this is really tame which that's not a bad thing that's not a bad thing at all we didn't need the cops there for nothing but you know thank god i was expecting just an absolute circus and yeah pretty much right which okay that i'm gonna stop you there I a movie. Right. Okay, I'm going to stab you there. I'll let you keep going in a second because that's awesome. Because that's one of the things. Okay, folks, the reason people are afraid of their vanilla friends finding out or whatever is that the concept. Look, nobody goes out and tells a story about, you know, how was your weekend? Man, I went out and we went to a bar and we sat down. We had a couple of drinks, we ate some peanuts. There's some sports on TV. And a pretty good band. And a pretty good band. And we had a good time. Went home by like, you know, midnight. Everybody's like, well, that's fucking lame.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Lita Ford did not write a song about going to a party and just sitting around and, you know, talking about hair. Yeah, that's not how that happened. So what everybody... We want to hear about how you stumbled around downtown and puked on three people. Right, that you tried to fuck a mailbox and stuff like that. So you have to remember when your vanilla people, when you you hear this the reason people have this fucked up skewed fucking impression of swingers they only hear the funny stories the extreme stories because the rest of the nights are just they're not forgettable but they're just a night they're chill right exactly not every night are we fucking people on tailgates sucking dick and fucking you know i mean turning into a fucking entire bar melee it just doesn't happen i wish i wish it did but that's all you hear about in the news that's right here about in pop culture and shit yeah i mean i think after learning more about the lifestyle through this podcast and through you guys and meeting some of the people in it uh i know they for comedic purposes, but I think those sling TV ads are probably more realistic. Oh, they, yeah, they're also absolutely. The first time I saw when I went, Oh my God, I have to show this to them. They're going to love it. Yeah. I mean, they really are because that's about the fucking truth. Yeah. That's about how most couples are too. Oh yeah. One half of the couple is like sweet. and the other half is like, what? I mean, yeah, you know. Yeah, that's like really the way it is. I mean, the crazy nights, I don't think, you very rarely go out and don't have a good time with swingers. Right. Okay, because. Oh, everybody seemed super cool. Yeah. Like they'd all be a blast to hang out with. And that's just it. Every night is a lot of fun. We go out a good time you know you're laughing you're telling jokes whatever it just as much as everybody says it well does every night lead to a fucking if you're lucky well if that's what you're into seven years into this and i can count on one hand how many times an orgy broke out yeah look man this is not rome back in the day? It is not like just everywhere you go, all of a sudden, hey, there's six of us in the room. Well, fucking A, get naked, start fucking somebody. It doesn't work that way.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: You know, no matter what, it just doesn't. There's no rules against that. Just saying. Yeah, there's not rules against it, but it's what we always preach about, the difference between porn swinging and real life swinging.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Okay, so it was a little more chill than what you had anticipated it it could be right okay what else did you think of it but the people were pretty everybody was really cool um i don't know if this is just midwest parties or you know i've been to a few midwest events uh maybe it's because i'm from the midwest there's a real hometown feel to it you know i feel like i could have walked up and started talking to anybody like i'd known him for the past 20 years that's because you're 26 and you were fresh meat that too that okay i mean that too you trust me but even even some of the even some of the guys they just come up and chat you know everybody's real cool everybody's real people are a little more laid back now are that party okay because our party was a formal so right in by the nature of it's gonna be a little more relaxed right you go to the same group of people that's a halloween party it's gonna be a little more well number one everybody's gonna be drunker okay and honestly everybody look man you everybody in their life every vanilla person in the I swear, this should be on your bucket list, is to go to one swingers Halloween party. Oh, I bet it's a blast. Well, here's the thing. It does not matter what the costume is. Doesn't matter what it is. Let's say you're going as somebody from Ghostbusters. Okay. Swingers find a way to make it slutty. Fair enough. If you're going as a countertop, swingers find a way to make it slutty fair enough you're going as a countertop swingers find a way to make it slutty you have not lived until until i mean seriously things they're just like well there's no way in the world anybody could make that dirty yes sir swingers can and so everybody should be on your bucket list to go to at least one halloween party and stay sober and just look because you are going to see more fairies of varying degrees and sizes with leaves of varying degrees and sizes you're going to see more yeah look man if there were more dirty nurses i gotta say nurses kind of seem like cheating because so many of them seem to be nurses already. Look, here's the thing. I guarantee that there are so many nurses that are swingers right now anyways in their closet when they get ready for work. They've all had that morning where they woke up and grabbed the wrong costume. Oh, wait, no. That was just for Halloween. Hey, that'll wake some of the patients up. Old man Jake is moving around again. That was from head to toe, a smurfette. How many people said they always had a fantasy? Oh moving around again oh yeah that's the other thing you would be amazed at how many people have fantasies you know people will have fantasies they'll be like I've always had fantasy to have sex with a cupboard what well it's because who's wearing the cupboard outfit that's what it is if a Smurf outfit, there wasn't going to be near as many people having a fantasy about fucking Papa Smurf. Yeah, don't call me Papa. Call me Daddy Smurf. Just saying. And yes, Nancy, October 12th, Grand Island is going to be the first Halloween party of the season, and Caswell will be there. Now, I can't talk too much on the fantasy thing. I go to anime conventions. You see some shit, and some people start admitting that they want to fuck it. Right. Okay. Okay, I will say this. There's less fur at a fucking swingers convention, especially now. Fur's not as big a deal anymore. Rawr. Maybe 30, 40 years ago. Actually, I'd say that you shouldn't go to one swinger party you should go to two because the first one you're gonna walk on you're gonna be bonerized you're just gonna be yeah it's sensory overload the second one you can actually take it in without just walking out with a raging heart on because you know once you get past the fact of people what you didn't see at ours like at a halloween party same situation, you know, you've got fucking Princess Leia getting fucking eaten out on the dance floor by fucking, you know, Papa Smurf or whatever. That's the kind of shit you're going to see. So you got to get past that initial fucking chart. Yeah, I'm like, come on, come on. Don't you have to go to the bathroom? No. Yes, you do. Come on. You've got to see this. There are beer cans being pushed. And a crowd gathers and stuff. And you still laugh. Right. You always laugh at the newbies because the newbies still, the crowd gathers. You know, those who have been doing it for a while, we still watch. We just do it from our seats. Yeah. Unless it's somebody we're really interested in, at which point time then we move for closer views just hypothetically out there i've done that before okay so here's the next question would you ever now having seen it okay would you ever consider being a swinger take notes ladies no i'm just saying i'm not opposed to it no i don't i wasn't opposed to it in the first place but that's gonna do 26 and that 26 i'm 26 and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree you fucking slut so obviously a couple of girls did it right out there good job job, ladies at Crazy Winter Nights for breaking them in. That was awesome. So here, another question I have, and I know a lot of people on our page have had about this. Are you concerned about, just like this, you're on this. So you're here. So there you are. And you're going to be on the YouTube channel whenever those get up. Yep. Hand-hand. uh anyway so uh are you concerned or worried about living in a small community like we do, the repercussions of being seen known as collaborating with swingers? Not at all. I don't give a fuck what people think about me. I haven't really. I wonder where he gets that from. Weird, isn't it? Oh, there you go. The question that was asked from the peanut gallery from the infirmary was, if he were to see two couples out at a regular bar from the party that he recognized, would you automatically assume that then they were swingers? That they were doing a swinger, that they were getting ready to hook up or something? No, just because making assumptions is pretty fucking stupid to do.
Speaker2: I don't i generally try not to assume things in general not if you didn't if you didn't hadn't let's say you were just working security you didn't know us you didn't know that crazy winter nights was a swinger party walking through there would you have walked through there and went oh yeah you can tell all these people are swingers no so now the reason i ask you that question is one of the biggest fears is people are terrified of being outed and their big fear is oh my god if we go to a restaurant with another couple everybody is gonna know we're swingers and the reality when you walk through that crowd everybody was dressed nice people were talking drinking there was no shenanigans really going on and i was even trying you know as working security i was trying to remember people on friday so when i saw them again on saturday you know and even then there were so many people i couldn't right but you didn't walk through and look look at a couple and go oh well you can just tell their story no it's see it's not written on our fucking foreheads people no everybody seemed normal even when you seem normal well lies i tell you i've heard the stories they only seem normal but no even like even y'all having that big dinner the special dinner right you didn't walk through and go oh this is some swinger dinner you just went it's a bunch of people having dinner right if you had taken those and section them off into couples sitting in a booth oh they're just friends having dinner right whatever we could we could have been a we could have been a large bridal party a a wedding party, like a rehearsal dinner. Maybe. Yeah, we could have been a company event. No one, people don't know. That's someone that is vanilla.
Speaker1: People don't know and people don't care. Exactly. The only time anybody gave any looks in the restaurant was when Wendy and I were walking with a purpose to find you. Right, exactly. Other than that, nobody gives a shit. Yeah, they don't care. Well, and that's just it. People don't understand. Look, the only way you're going to be out of here is the only way you're going to be out of here care well and and that's just it people don't understand look the only way you're going to be outed in public is if you do something that is designed to out you right look if you're sitting at a table and all of a sudden your wife leans over and starts making out with the other person's wife and then you start making out with the other person's wife and vice versa don't worry people are going to notice people at that point somebody's going to notice because there's going to be somebody like me in the crowd going oh look and that's the big thing so you know you you have to you you have to keep it in mind a little bit and that's something i'm going to hit on real quick because this is something that we deal with. Some of our good friends and sponsors deal with stuff in smaller communities. Look, if you're concerned in smaller communities about being outed by going to a party, and I'm going to directly hit on one. The folks at Island Riders are still the greatest party. They're going to have the firsteen party of the season next year october 12th in grand island uh a lot of that is based upon how the organizers handle it okay and so when you have folks like the island riders that are they do an incredible job of ensuring and understanding they're in a smaller community and ensuring privacy uh look these people go well we haven't been there because we live in That's it. of ensuring and understanding they're in a smaller community and ensuring privacy uh look these people go well we haven't been there because we live in that town and somebody might see us look they have it set up so there's back entrances into the hotel that no staff at the hotel would ever see you that your car wouldn't be seen anywhere out in front they do a tremendous job of of of taking care of that now here's the thing too you have to remember and we had this happen nancy you can attest to this nancy's live on our crazy casbah page uh is that at crazy winter nights she was working the door for us yep and uh another person that she worked with and they're small down come be bopping in oh really and it was like Thank you. And another person that she worked with in their small town come bebopping in. Oh, really? And it was like, ah! Well, hello. And there was that brief moment. But here's the thing. Guess what? They were both there for the same reason. Okay? So you have to remember, look, people don't just stumble into these things yeah you know well it's just like the folks in the earlier part of the episode with the black rings well they knew what that meant right that that's usually you know you don't just pick that up anywhere no no they've looked it up they've looked it up i mean they've looked it up or they've heard it on our podcast right they've heard it somewhere and the reality of it is hey didn't i see you at some some swinger party am i outed no yeah they were at the same party Thank you. either looked it up or they've heard it on our podcast right they've heard it somewhere and the reality of it is hey didn't i see you at some some swinger party am i outed no yeah they were at the same party yeah nancy's going oh fuck why are you saying oh fuck nancy it's all good uh but you know the the thing is is that you look when you have great organizers and again the island riders are great organizers they make sure to to provide for the base of the size of the community for the the protection uh the secret identity not secret identities but you know what i mean we're not superheroes i kind of am they call me batman super swinger uh my power is cum shots uh but but they you know they they provide for it and the thing is if you run into people if you run into people at bigger parties remember look you weren't going to come up to crazy winter nights and just be like well we're driving around omaha i wonder what this hotel is doing that's not going to be the case we did have that snow ice storm thing that right but he threw a little bit of a monkey wrench but even then you weren't just going to randomly come in and find that yeah they were we weren't gonna we weren't gonna let you in no and they were dressed appropriate and whatever they were there for the same reason and as nancy's saying yeah when she goes oh fuck when she first saw this person that she worked with and when i talked to the person that she worked with her first reaction when she saw nancy was oh fuck and and then they did what all swingers do in that situation they hugged each other and they both went we're here for the same reason yep the next week was a little bit they were a little feeling each other out to make sure everybody was actually cool feeling each other out not not feeling each other up but out i don't think nancy if i'm wrong with that correct me but uh so and then and then say hey you know what we are here for the same thing yeah look
Speaker2: I'll see you next time. Up, but out. I don't think. Nancy, if I'm wrong with that, correct me. And then it's like, hey, you know what?
Speaker3: We are here for the same thing.
Speaker2: Look, anybody, I don't care if somebody crashes a swinger party. If somebody crashes a swinger party because they don't have security in their fucks dicks, that's on them. But if they crash a party and they want to go, I saw you at a swinger party. Well, what were you doing there? Well, how the fuck?
Speaker1: We were crashing it.
Speaker2: Oh, really?
Speaker1: Weird, because we were asking for directions. So what the fuck were you you doing yeah you know i mean there's a million ways around it so or what were they crashing it for they probably wanted in on it yeah well because everybody thinks it's porn it's porn swingers because these fucking drunken tools go well but i can get laid no you can't you fucking moron no you're slobbering and a moron no shit good you're walking around jacking off with walking around it's gonna be obvious a you're either new or b you're not supposed to be there just saying is that good where are we at we're pretty good okay oh yeah that's awesome yeah this is good then yeah this is a great place they don't want to look at our ugly mugs shit we don't even have our tits out yours not mine yours oh people like me Thank you. yeah this is good then yeah this is a great place they don't want to look at our ugly mugs shit we don't even have our tits out yours not mine yours oh people like me people like oh yeah right all right no some people do nancy was supposed to introduce me to somebody that does just saying anyways all right so yeah this is a great place to leave thank you very much for tuning into our special infirmary episode uh that's maybe what we'll name this one we'll name that infirmary issue sick day for miss amanda we won't let miss amanda have a day out anyway we can't tell them that then they're not going to want to watch it don't worry she'll be back next week it'll be all good it'll be all better she'll be healed all right well for the time being doing it the oh wait i need to do my sponsors real quick what well yeah do your last plug your sponsors seems so less genuine now doesn't it all right we're just getting one of the heck our sponsor spunk lube uh remember if your wiener is getting stuck in the hallway and needs a little more sliding to glide visit our good friends at spunk lube www.spunklube.com. Remember, you always have a friend in CASBA. Just put CASBA, K-A-S-B-H, in the coupon code and get your 10% discount. And finally, if you want to be a part of the crazy world that is Crazy Truth and all of our shenanigans and get your business promoted to thousands every single week, send us an email at crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y, dot dot casbah k-a-s-b-h at gmail.com wow tell you what family business it is what it is uh so i just wanted to make sure we got it right with that being said make sure you put in the subject line sponsorship and we'll get back to you just trying to help you out fucking. Fucking smart ass. Let him on the camera one time. No, thank you very much. Good job. You're really good. By the way, if you thought Sebastian did a good job of his on-air talent, he is available for parties. He does do strip teases, strip dances. You don't want to see this. Strip talethon. Absolutely. Trust me. You don't want to see this. $200 and he'll come out and make sure you get your dollar bills. I also work like every sucks So there he actually drives a forklift So we can send dirty sexy pictures to him on a forklift If you're interested let us know Anyways He's trying to get me fired Fired? I'm trying to get you paid and laid What do you want from me? Jesus Christ Alright you're going to want to make sure you go visit our YouTube channel and subscribe We We've got some exciting new features getting ready to roll out, and you're going to want to be a part of those. So go to www.youtube.com backslash C backslash Kazba, K-A-S-B-H. And if you like what you hear, visit our Patreon, www.patreon.com backslash crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y,Y Kazba K-A-S-B-H and you can also follow us on Twitter that would be at Truth Crazy you can follow us on Instagram at crazy K-R-A-Z-Y underscore Kazba K-A-S-B-H don't forget to sign up on our page, which would be Crazy Truth. And you can always send us emails. We love your emails at crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y dot Kazba, K-A-S-B-H at gmail.com. And don't forget, everybody needs some Crazy Truth merch. That's right. We've got merchandise. Go to teespring.com backslash stores backslash crazy, K-R-A-Z-Y hyphen truth. Anyways, doing it the only way I know how and the only way I want to. Casbah Style, out.