Krazy Truth #240 Sugar coat this!!!

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most and slightly high on Christmas powder, Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and feeling kind of chunky, although she's not, Miss Amanda. Hey. And we're here to tan late and too late, and hopefully Miss Amanda will sweat off the extra weight she thinks she put on over the holidays. Four. Four of the holidays? Four pounds. Wow. Hey, fatty, stay out of the candy. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, shit. None of us did any good at all today, not in the fucking least, still this weekend. You what? None of us did any good this week, because it turned out of the shit. Sweets are our downfall in this household. They are horrible. I mean, they're good, but they're horrible. We just needed piles of cocaine. That's what we needed. That would help offset it. Next year, we'll make cocaine cookies. A little bit of chocolate with an equal part of cocaine, and you'll just get high and feel good, but never gain a pound. Stick with me. We'll be selling those motherfuckers. Anyway, so this is an exciting moment and historic, if you will. For those who follow along at home, I had to think about how I had to suck in the historicness It is episode 240 And the final episode Of season 5 Can you believe I thought we were on season 4 We've been on season 5 all fucking year Wow And season 6 Miss Amanda listens to our first show ever Anyways Can you believe we've been doing this for five years obviously you can't because you think we won't be doing it for four anywho yeah so yep so there you go and so the next the next four fucking the next uh casbah rant i recorded will be the start of season four with casbah rants there you you go. It's amazing. So anyway, so we're here. We're here. We're ready to go. Then the show. Yep. Hey, we're taking all the carriers in the world, and we are throwing them out the window. Because get ready. Here's the deal. See, in 2023, there's going to be some things that will be changing with the show. We're going to be upgrading. We're going to be revamping. We're going to have some cool theme music. We're going to have some things that will be changing with the show We're going to be upgrading We're going to be revamping We're going to have some cool theme music We're going to have some shit coming So the show is going to be totally different But the premise of the truth will not be different Who's doing that part of it? Who do you fucking think? Who does all the rest of it? Let's see The marketing department And the creative department And the fucking slave over the grindstone department, and whatever. That'd be me. Anyways, so, but we are, we're going to revamp all kinds of shit, and so it's going to get exciting, but we're going to kick the end of season five out with the same type of bang that we're going to be starting season six, with a little new, a little bit more bitey attitude. Just saying. But first, let's say we have some sponsors. Big shout-out to, and always remember, make it a habit every day to read asnlifestylemagazine.com. Check it out once a month. It's a great addition. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world or the lifestyle world, ASN Lifestyle Magazine is the place to go. Check it out today. 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A little bit more magic powder for santee claus okay that's a lot of shit right off the bat so uh it has been it has been a a whirlwind of a month obviously finishing up season five between finishing up season five here finishing up season three on casbah ranch though in fucking events, getting ready for the extremely large and growing daily Crazy Winter Nights, which is right now we've got the Impulsive Duo going to be there, Kinky Frame of Mind is going to be there, Sinful Ladies is going to be there, Front Porch Swingers is going to be there, plus about 400 of your other closest friends and family. We're going to be there. So if you're not coming to that, well, fuck you. So you really need to go if you want to see. If you want to see how the originals do it in the Midwest, come to ours. If you want to see a shit show, let me know. I can give you a list of places to go. So anyways, if you want to check it out, go to crazycasma.com, and you can still get tickets and rooms. The rooms are going very, so um yeah just saying we're about out if the rooms are sold out and you need a list of other hotels in the area we can certainly help you out with that uh but you know there you go it is what it is so uh check it out today so but on top of all of that but wait but wait there's more i know it's hard to believe there's more you can say anything at any point in time just to make sure you're going 90 miles of fucking oh yeah you can't see nothing so don't forget it's almost 2023 and everybody uses calendars uh and you know a good calendar to get would be a cadet calendar with our sexy casbah cadets all the girls girls want to do a calendar to raise funds for Casbah Cares. I should hang that up at work. You should, because it is actually workplace appropriate. Yeah, it is. It is. All the pictures are- You might have to explain who the girls are. All the pictures are rockabilly, but there's no nudity. So we designed it specifically so that it could be hung up at your work, at anybody's work. So I have it up in my office, I already started putting appointments on it, just saying. And all those proceeds go to Casbah Cares. So actually you can know what day it is and do something positive. And you can get that on our website at crazycasbah.com as well. We will have some of those at Crazy Winter Nights. Also, for sale. I know. We'll have No More Wet Spot will be there. Jamless shameless care will be there we've got art by carrie we've got two computer companies of course full swap radio will be there naughty pops will be there and we got all kinds of stuff going to be there so it's going to be very very cool so it's going to be exciting uh the itinerary is coming up very soon people are up my ass about the itinerary for crazy winter nights here's the deal have i ever fucked you over in the last five years nope but you wait trust me that's because we're constantly adding shit i know that's because we're kind because we also constantly make it better so we're constantly adding shit so you know this year we've got um a couple a couple of seminars i'm really really excited about we've got of course uh donald kinky from mine's gonna be putting on a rope seminar it's gonna be super cool uh for people that are into shibari and wanted to learn that part uh also also uh we've got front porch swingers now one of the things if you know anything about front porch swingers uh they are a bi couple they put on bi only events and they're actually They have a huge focus to help eliminate the stigma of male bisexuality and lifestyle, which we are very much supportive of that because we support all aspects. So they're going to be doing a meet-and-greet and presentation question-and-answer period for bi-couples, bi-males, whatnot. So, very excited about that one. I'm also very excited the fact that we have a our folks coming in from the dojo for the security stuff for the the moves and it's all we focus on how to get out of like close stuff not just i'm being mugged but uh we're gonna have bios up wait till you read the bio from our doctorate uh doctor of cyber security and his seminar that he is going to be one of the options. So we got some pretty cool shit. So it's going to be pretty badass. So it's going to be fun. That doesn't include mixers and moots and all the rest of the shit that goes along with it. Plus the Scrubs dance on Friday night where I'll be walking around with a constant boner because I like nurses. And then the formal on Saturday. So I'll be walking around with a constant boner, because I like nurses, and then the formal on Saturday.
Speaker2: So I'll be walking around with a constant boner.
Speaker1: And it's not required to dress up like it, but, you know, we highly encourage. Just no jeans. Just look nice.
Speaker2: Look nice.
Speaker1: That's all I ask. I have to go tomorrow, or this week, and go make sure I can get my tux.
Speaker2: Oops.
Speaker1: Running a little behind.
Speaker2: Wait. What?
Speaker1: You're running behind? Yeah, I know.
Speaker2: I know.
Speaker1: So there you go. I was going to, like, get the scrubs that I got out got out and like alter them to make them look a little bit more risque well there you go i just know that uh yes this is solely i'm self-serving 100 self-serving there's no there's no like oh i just want to like support our first front or you know first responders i could say that i could say that this is an honor of all the great work that the the medical field does which sure it is that's a fucking lie nurses are just hot to me so i'm a fetish that's why i'm doing it just saying but it will say those other things too so they go if you're a nurse it's not just because i want to get in your scrubs it's because i i love what you do so i can only pretend so long bullshit that so long and for those you don't know follow along at home we are currently live on youtube as we are here one of the things in 2023 guess what you are going to be able to uh soon in 2024 you're going to be able to listen to us live on Full Swap Radio, too.
Speaker2: Because we're going to be going live there also. So. Look at all these new stuff. Techie. Just gives me a fucking nerdy hard-on. Uh, anyways.
Speaker1: So there you go.
Speaker3: So.
Speaker1: Anything you want to talk about? I don't know what we're talking about.
Speaker2: Did you have a good Christmas?
Speaker3: I did.
Speaker1: Did you get some good stuff? I did. Okay. Good. That's it. Out of the ordinary. The lying bull fucking shit you didn't get something out of the ordinary. Sweet mother of fuck. What the fuck did I get that one? 30 fucking years we've been together, and for the first Christmas ever, I bought you a fucking dress. you did so i don't even want to hear there and guys i got it one that should be easy to slip up over a butt and stick your dick in her just saying so fucking nothing unusual when was the last time you the kids didn't even know what it was they're like what's that who's that for what mom what yeah It goes with the camo pants I got. Yeah. Military grade. Yeah. You know, it is what it is. So, yeah. No, we had a good Christmas. It was a lot of fun. So, good time. Good time was had by all. It was. Good time had by all. So, okay. I mean, I felt like I didn't have time to get ready for it. But that's beside the point. It was fun. Did you have fun at the hotel takeover, the second hotel takeover? Yeah, after the Christmas party. Yeah, well, yeah. Here's what's really funny. This has been one of these things that came shining through. The ink hadn't even hardly dried on our hotel takeover. We find a hotel in Lincoln when somebody tries to fucking snag the hotel.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Fucking idiots. Hey, guess what? Good luck with that. Just saying. Yeah, that was nice. It it was like are you fucking kidding me yeah so hey here's an idea i think we can reinvent the wheel and do it better he fucking tool bags whatever anyways it is what it is huh what's his mood like i'm in a great mood. I really am. I just got our fucking shit all updated. What shit all updated? Our rules and our shit for all of our events. Did you update on the website? So that's up to date with the QR code I have? That will be. I had to get all this stuff changed. So we had to add the rule that if you leave any bio uh hazardous things left in your room that you'll be banned from casbah nice uh-huh so there you go so you know you gotta fucking counter stupid wherever it comes up so we had to wait yeah that that's an actual thing seven years seven fucking years of doing this i've never had to do that and now i do get with the times bitter let it go
Speaker2: I don't know. fucking years of doing this. I've never had to do that. And now I do.
Speaker1: Get with the times.
Speaker2: Bitter. Let it go.
Speaker1: Anyways, and I'm super excited. Everybody look at it right now. If you're not, you guys see YouTube. My homeless facial hair because Santa season is basically over. I love my beard. My beard is never this long. I never keep my beard this long right would you agree I've never had anything long near this fucking homeless yeah some people can carry a really long beard and look fucking great I'm not one of those guys I look like a cross between Weird Al Yankovic and fucking Grizzly Adams so officially I think next Thank you. Great. I'm not one of those guys. I look like a cross between Weird Al Yankovic and fucking Grizzly Adams. So, officially, I think next week, when we're sure all Santa gigs are done, I'm going to trim my beard back up, and I'm so fucking excited. I can't. I can't wait. Some guys can rock it, and kudos. Guys that can rock it and it doesn't bother you, rock on. For some reason with me, I just feel like I'm just like wrestling with it. It's like, well, I said to my mom last night, I use as much shampoo in my beard every day as I do in my hair. To make sure. I just had constant itching stuff. I don't know. So I will still have my beard because I have too many chins not to have a beard. It just won't be as long.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: It is what it is.
Speaker2: Thank you. because I have too many chins not to have a beard, it just won't be as long. Okay. It is what it is. Anything you're going to change since from Christmas? That'll be a surprise. Is it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, yep. That's why I'm waiting until after today. Yep, there you go. Yep. No, Travis, you're a guy that can handle a big beard. You look good with a long beard. A lot of guys do look good with long beards. Yours is curly. One of our oldest kids, he, for a long time, had his beard like. Really long. Like, what, six, seven inches? But you have ringlets. I do. I have ringlets. I'm like, just think when he's an old Santa Claus and he can actually have ringlets. Hedo. Yeah. I mean, like I said, I always have a beard. And to the guys that can rock the really long beards, rock on. It's just, you know. I think it's like hair. Some guys can't stand long hair. Like, it drives them to have their hair too long. I think it's just like a personal, just personal, like, kind of thing. You know? Okay. I don't know. So, but I'm excited. I'm excited because because in a perfect world i'd like to lose the chins so i don't need as much beard to hide them just saying anyways yeah these are all things that go through my brain so on top of then the other thing was we also named our newest uh batch of cadets so that the new the new we've wrangled the new herd of cadets are out so uh big congratulations if you're on the page if you're not you should get on the page you will be seeing much more of them very soon the class of 2023 we have 13 cadets this time around so we had 130 actually 138 people apply to be cadets which is extremely humbling and very awesome enough so that we end up we turn we end up turning our cadet all those over to our board of directors for our corporate and let them and they they pay this way because we know everybody so this way there's no like favoritism as far as that goes um but it's very very cool so it was very exciting to to name i know a lot of the girls were going nuts waiting because we had we took applications back in october like i remember when it was october so i was getting girls like uh hey so uh yeah so we're excited so the girls are excited So there'll be sashes coming and a whole new round of them. I ordered them today. And we've already had people asking, are they going to do a calendar? I don't know. We'll have to see.
Speaker1: That'll be up to the girls. We'll let this class decide what they want to do.
Speaker2: So we'll see. We'll talk about it. We got a whole year. Don't worry about it. It's all good. We'll figure it out.
Speaker1: We don't do anything last minute. That's just not the way we roll here. It's so hard for them to believe us when you do that. Us. It's hard to believe me when you're over here fucking snorting and shit over there. Because it's funny. You know? You guys are over here snorting and stuff. Us knights got thrown away. No, you didn't get thrown away. No, you didn't. Here's the thing about being a knight. it's incognito it's like a jedi thing you're there you magically appear when we needed you and that's what was most important next year we'll have lightsabers probably not you should do a guys of casm calendar absolutely not Calendars are a pain in the ass, and they are expensive. And a lot of people, because you have all these electronic devices, there's few of us now that still use calendars. I use one. I have one hanging up, and I use it. I'm a calendar-using fool. But I still use pen and paper. Just saying. I write, I jot things down. I make notes, and then I can't find them. I'm currently looking for three names that I really need to get a hold of. Can't find it for the save my life. Nice. Uh-huh. I'm pretty excited about that. So, oh, well. It'll just make things more interesting in the coming weeks. Okay. So, you ready to go? You you ready to go you ready to rip it up and i thought you were doing it you were just going maybe okay health tip of the day there's a health tip sure there's always a health tip coupon code no no i haven't the board has i didn't you updated that no i didn't so so it's a different one than what says up there right yeah okay what does it go for stretching no i'm not gonna include potassium in that yeah exactly yes water potassium and stretching you know stretching it does it it sounds stupid but it helps in a lot of areas of your life, quite honestly. Well, you stretch by taking your shirt off. Okay. Some of us could do that way, but that doesn't help our legs. So the thing is stretching, that's how you want to throw in your back out and shit like that. But seriously, stretching. It sounds stupid, but what caused me me to think of this i was thinking about stretching when you're in the throes of shit i read an article i read an article about how many people throw out their backs during sex i meant to i meant to print it off because it was fucking hilarious but that's like a common injury of people like doing some weird fucking shit and they didn't stretch out properly and like pull their back now think about this for just a second knowing that i have thrown my back out picking up my leather jacket granted because i'm such a big guy my leather jacket's like a cow but i have literally picked up my leather jacket and like oh son of a bitch i was there right well they weren were i'm sharing for these weeks so you can imagine so for me the concept of uh the fact that you know you fucking twist too quick to switch position next thing you know you're fucking rolling around with a heart on and a fucking aching back and you can't take a much the heart on goes away really quick god damn right it does because the muscle relaxer which when the muscle relaxer feels better than the sex, that tells you a problem. So there you go. So that's the health tip today. Stretching. Trust me, you'll thank me later. And every guy can attest to the leg cramp thing. Do chicks ever get legs cramps during sex? Not as much, not very often. I've gotten a hip where I go, ooh, hip. Yeah, but you've never had, like, you know, man down where I go, ah! No, no. I've gotten on top of you, and we're going at it, and all of a sudden I go, oh. Hold on. Okay, so part of the reason where this comes from, I'm just going to throw this out there because I'll own up to this. This is funny. So I don't usually play at our events. Right. Like, rarely. I got to this last time. It was fucking awesome. But the next day, I was sore as fuck. Yeah, you were. Like, my back was sore. My arm was sore. See see if i'd have stretched out properly beforehand and maybe if i wasn't you still would have been sore because that was like using muscles you haven't used for a while okay to say i was trying to put this on a proper spin of uh you know does a lion stretch before it takes down a gazelle yeah it does it's like all it's like a cat now thing sort That's all the tensing it does for. Look, here's the thing. If I have to chase something that's halfway as fast as a gazelle to fuck it, I ain't never getting laid. At this point in time, I'm just going to find a tree and I'm going to hump it and call it good because it ain't moving. It's all part of 2023's road to a better me. Santa next year has to buy a fat pack, batting, because I can't have the real thing because, obviously, I no longer have the excuse to eat cookies going, it's for the children. You know, so just saying. So Santa's got to get his ducks in a row. So that's kind of the goal a little bit is to have maybe some people want sexy pictures with Santa. And then for the kids, we'll get one of the pushy packs, poofy packs, poofy. There's a line stretch before it takes a gun, a gazelle. I just want you to know, Michael is the one that said that. Michael, I want you to know this is very important. And the next time that i get to have sex again swing her sex that is now going to be in my mind and this girl whoever it is goes wonder why when we're walking with her i'm gonna swipe at her legs i'm gonna be like hold still you down hold still you gazelle just saying anyways okay all right so we ready to roll sure you ready are you sure you're ready i have no idea i don't know what we're in for you share this with me nope i didn't so here's the thing so you know the name is crazy truth right crazy truth so it's crazy it's us but it's truth right you following so far don't yawn don't yawn a ghost gonna stick his dick in his mouth something about this room i got accused i got accused this last week publicly, twice actually, that we sugarcoat things on this show. That we're afraid to actually say the hard truth on things. Now I don't know why that is but our technical guy is coming in because he's having technical difficulties. Okay. I don't know why that is, but our technical guy is coming in because he's having technical difficulties. Okay, I don't know why exactly that is. So, my thought is, we need to rectify that situation. And now, our technical guy is doing a great job. He's sneaking in. He's working on, apparently, the YouTube video quit recording. So, we're not supposed to... Are we supposed to act natural? Okay, I'll keep knocking. I don't know what happened there. Okay, now we're back. Okay. I'm confused. So we, because I was totally not listening, we sugarcoat things. That we are too nice and we sugarcoat things. Well, yeah, I'm supposed to be the nice one. You're supposed to be the asshole. And that, no, me too, that our show sugarcoats things and that we don't actually have balls enough to say it the way it is. They need to listen to your fucking rants. Yeah, that was my thought. So my thought was, okay, so we want to fucking play going to. No, I'm afraid of this shit. We're going to play this game. So I didn't do a question today. No way. Didn't do a question. I did do a question, not a specific person question, but I did do a question. The question, because we get asked forms of this all the fucking time. Basically, coming from the car business when people object to something there's only like seven true objections right everything else it's like doing fractions you know you have to boil it down to the most common denominator you get what i'm saying here so six twelve you got to boil it down to one half you know that so it's the same type of thing with objections they're really new man there's really Yeah, no shit, there's really only a few true objections. And ultimately, the biggest question that we get asked when it's boiled down to is, why can't I get laid? That's legitimately probably the biggest question we could ask. Why can't I get laid? Because that's what everybody wants right they want to get laid or or it's one of the key five things they really want they want to get laid okay right so don't we all exactly so the question or the way we're gonna do is we're gonna answer that why can't you get laid you anything you want to add now are we just are you just ready to ride it go along for the ride i love the terrified look on her face that's so awesome oh let's keep going along for the fucking ride why it's not bad well i'm just trying to figure out where you're going with all this not not to candy land by god apparently not to candy land it's okay here's what's funny as i say that all you're going cole never showed good shit you do to a degree but it's just to be nice and not be in your face rude right because you've been called you've everything uh what is that not slapstick because that's comedy what's the dickhead no when i first started and oh a shock jock i was called a shock jock we're called shock jocks shock jocks and we were oh yeah we i've been called a crack addict too just just saying so no you do coke so yeah yeah well yeah coke addict so only on the holidays. But then it's only cookies. So, here's the thing. I think the best way to tackle that concept... I love your facial expression. I know they are fucking priceless. I think the best way to tackle that is to be exceedingly head-on. So, we're supposed to be beyond brutally honest and don't care if it hurts anybody's feelings yeah it's not my personality apparently i so here's i gave a fucking 80 year old man i don't know how old he was a hug today yeah you you because he because he i got made fun of now this guy has asked me out to go to lunch a couple different times okay fine he fine. He's a driver at our work. Okay, whatever. So he's just, today, just inappropriate as fuck. He just comes out of HR's office. I'm walking down the hallway, and he goes, I saw you walking down the hall. I said, oh, I said, it's not that thrilling. That's in the eye of the beholder.
Speaker2: Great. And she didn't figure out to just keep moving. Nope. No, I egg these guys on.
Speaker3: I egg them on. Then he's like, where's your mistletoe?
Speaker2: Not fucking here.
Speaker1: And if I told you, I wouldn't have it at work just for that purpose alone. Yeah. I'm like, don't have any. I told her, it's only a matter of time. One of the days she's going to go, hey, I need you to look at something. And you're going to turn around and you're going to have an 80-year-old man's dick in your face. Oh, he's pulled my shirt so he could see my bra. Here's how this fucking. He's inappropriate. Here's how this is going to fucking work. I told her, I'm like, one or two things. Either report him or charge him. i mean because you know either one of these options is like man ain't nothing free in this world so and he smells like an ashtray yeah but i gave he he got a hug but how long was the hug to make it work it has to last 15 seconds i'm i'm surprised because usually for me the viagra doesn't kick in that fast but whatever works just saying let's see like warmed up ahead of time just you know, toggle toggle anyway so i gave him a hug he's like come here and he put his hands out i'm like okay okay and i give him a hug he's like so i told him like you're sniffing i told amanda i'm like you're gonna be that kid that's like oh, but you don't have any candy in the van? I was like, make him show you the puppy before you get in. That's all I'm going to say. Whatever. No, it's all right. And he's like, looked at my hand and he goes, if it wasn't for that ring, I'd ask you out. Oh, well, you know. And if you were like, yeah, whatever. Okay. So there we go. Yeah. But see, this is an example of a sugar candy. We're nice. You're nice. You need look you old son of a bitch leave me alone you perverted motherfucker look your daughter's the same age i am oh shit she's got a better shot anyway so i mean i mean but you're nice so you don't you don't you know you don't do that that's just that's just sell your sweat and fart jars so ew okay so all right so let's get back to this we gotta tackle this okay sure so so the question is why is amanda gonna be me why do you get no why do you don't why do you not get laid the answer starts very simply have you looked in the fucking mirror have you looked in the fucking mirror here's how this fucking works very simply hold on to your seat kids here we go very simply when you look in the mirror do you look homeless do you look straight exactly exactly do you look fucking homeless do you look like there's a chance you might have a weird odor or possibly take and store random people's body parts in your basement do you talk about things that are completely fucking inappropriately and absolutely psychotically nuts we have a middle child that collects bones do you know why he doesn't have a girlfriend because he talks right off the bat about want to see my bone collection these are little things these are the things why do we not get laid some people are into that and it's a game of percentages now isn't it kids and if that's the thing and if you're shooting for the fucking if you want to hit the lottery don't bitch when it takes 500 million times before you get there it's that fucking simple if you're going to be extreme if you're going to dress extreme if you're you're going to dress in extreme styles, I know this, I live it. You better fucking own it. If you don't own it, you're going to get blown out of the water with it. When people look at you, do you look like you're a conceited fuck stick? Do you look like you're a bitch? Do you look like you're an asshole? Do you give out vibes and do body language just goes big fuck you guess what getting laid is not that fucking difficult look in the fucking mirror it all starts in the fucking mirror but this is the part that swingers don't want to own see i when they challenged me this i was like holding back this is the part that swingers don't want to own you know why we don't get laid because we do it to our fucking selves that's why that's why we don't get laid? Because we do it to our fucking selves. That's why. That's why we don't get laid. It's very simple. We hide behind excuses. We hide behind other people. We hide behind justifications versus owning the real reason why we don't get laid. how many of us notice i say us because it includes every one of us how many of us look in the mirror before we go out and take a true evaluation of ourselves and actually look and go i look approachable i look friendly i would like to fuck me if i wasn't me i would fuck me how many of us do that most of us don't but then we walk in a social setting and we expect somebody me, I would fuck me. How many of us do that?
Speaker2: Most of us don't.
Speaker1: But then we walk in a social setting and we expect somebody else to want to fuck us.
Speaker2: Why? What are we giving?
Speaker1: What's the redeeming quality that makes us so exciting to be the one to pick to fuck versus somebody else? Fire away there.
Speaker2: Pause.
Speaker1: So if you don't think you look good, like I've never thought I looked pretty, and I look at myself and I go, there's no way in fucking hell I look pretty and anybody would want to fuck me then why would i even bother going out why would you why do you because one you have a wrong self-expression self-opinion of yourself but when you go out what but when i do a self-evaluation and i look in the mirror i say i look like shit but what do you do when you get out in public fake it there you go that means We'll be right back. I do a self-evaluation and I look in the mirror and I say I look like shit. But what do you do when you get out in public? Fake it. There you go. That means you own it and you try to alter it. The difference is owning it and altering it. You know what? Any one of us, here's what's cool about our group. All of us are realistic and none of us think we are that amazing that's what makes the council group so cool nobody thinks that they're that amazing no one goes you know what i am truly the shit well we got a couple but you know what they are assholes and nobody really likes them the reality of it is is that most of 99 of our group goes well why would they want to fuck me that's the first step of owning to get laid right there it is because you're willing to take and We'll see you next time. well why would they want to fuck me that's the first step of owning to get laid right there it is because you're willing to take and look yourself and you you judge yourself almost too harshly but you put where you're at you keep it in mind and you understand that when you go out you have to make an effort to overcome your own adversity overcome your own fears and things that you second guess yourself you go out when we first started swinging you had zero self-confidence you're right none and you did have to fake it and the reality is guess what we all have to fake it that's the truth that's the part that all these shows out there don't want to fucking take and tell everybody is that the answer is simple you have to fake it till you make it it's that simple but you have to start by taking a self-evaluation you have to understand what is your strength and what is your weaknesses if you know me you know my outfits are my protection how many of you didn't know that my outfits are my protection. How many of you didn't know that? My outfits are my protection. So I overcome with it. If you ask Miss Amanda, you can always tell when I'm nervous. How can you tell when I'm nervous? Which part? When I'm nervous in a social setting, what do I do when I'm nervous and uncomfortable um you crack jokes yep you play with your hair yep uh the jokes is a big one because i haven't always had long hair no i fake it but you still did when i'm nervous i fake it i crack jokes because if i can make you laugh then you won't notice my flaws if I can make you laugh, then you won't notice my flaws. If I can get you to laugh, then you won't notice all the shortcomings that I see within myself. Because if you ask me, why should you fuck me? Why should I get laid? When I go out to an event, even an event we put on, why should I get laid? The correct answer is, there's no fucking reason on God's green earth you should fuck me. None. I 50 year old fat guy seriously with a lot of gray and some bald spots if you can only see if you're tall enough but the reality of it is is that so then in turn what do you do you take and you fake it you have to but you have to do the self-evaluation. And that's the hardest part. I'm sorry, that's the second hardest part. The hardest part, the second hardest is doing the evaluation. The second hardest is going ahead and turning around and going, fuck it, and walking out the door and going to it. That's the hardest. That's what what it takes you don't need a sex therapist you don't need a million shows you don't need any of that bullshit that's what it is you have to find the courage somewhere down deep inside of you to overcome the fear and the terror and all the fucking horrible things you can think of and experiences you've ever had and walk out the fucking door and try that's it for those of you that have not seen the pictures i'm sure you will at some point in time and i've seen the fucking fucking underwear or the rubber band with the fucking santa claus to cover my dick thing i am 50 years old and i have never been as terrified as i was sat Saturday night to put that on and walk downstairs. I have stood in front of 10,000 people and delivered a speech on the Constitution. I wasn't half as nervous. I've stood in funerals for my grandfather and my dad and wasn't near as nervous as I was to step out of my room at that moment in time. knowing, knowing that i was going to walk down to a room full of people that were going to be supportive and very cool about it and it was the most terrorizing moment of my life i missed it no because i don't think you did you weren't there but you felt it i know you because you you pick up on that you the thing is is but that was just in we i had to do it i stood in front of the mirror i took multiple deep breaths a couple of shots and went i have to do this i have to fucking do it so the challenge the challenge that we got when people are looking for the answers to how to make the lifestyle work is no one has the fucking answer you have the answer you're the only one with the answer when you first get in lifestyle as guys you make this fucking mistake to try to take and make your wife dress like a fucking slut to go out in public because what you're trying to actually do is you're trying to take and make your wife or your girlfriend that you can hide behind you want to hide behind her tits it is what it is only what rules the lifestyle a fucking hot ass and tits will rule the lifestyle nah actually the biggest compliment i got was when I walked in in camo pants and boots. That was hot. But we take and we want to hide. Guys, we want to try to get you to do that because we want to hide behind it. Can't hide. That is the total secret to the lifestyle. When I got called out about us sugarcoating things, I'm like, okay, this is exactly what we're going to do. We're going to lay it out there as honest as it can be. Taking ownership sucks. Let's make no bones about it. Taking ownership of yourself and of your fears is without a doubt one of the most horrific experiences you will have in your life. Okay, so aside from the outfit, when you go to our events, how nervous are you? Just about how... Wait a minute. I want to ask the people listening on Catastly Life how nervous they think I am. Because I guarantee people will have it wrong. Well, I'm not near as nervous. In fact, hardly ever nervous now. I'm worse. Like the hotel ones? Piece of cake. I'm a different type of nervous. When it's our event, I'm a different type of nervous. But I walked into that all by myself. Because people don't realize I would never walk into anywhere and even go first. Even if you held the door, I go, no, you have to go first. Yep. But now I'm like, I'll go down by myself i don't care it it it's funny you guys a lot of people are commenting because we're just from our facebook group and sorry i'm sorry we're not reading stuff out loud okay uh and well you can kind of take over take sure to read so i feel like cole was nervous at first but then relax cat in a room full of rocking chairs i i'm different and the nerves for me at our event is different i'm not i'm not nervous about like the people i'm nervous about whether or not the event is going okay no that that's there's that but i mean remember when we used to sit outside in the car going oh my god are we going to go in smoke a pack of cigarettes i don't know if we go in do you want to leave do you want to stay do you want to go do you not and then we were terrified to walk in i'm i'm not nervous about that on the only okay so the only time i'm nervous about that is if i am supposed to specifically have talked about hooking up or meeting up with someone specific. You mean if you have something planned out and they're there? If I'm supposed to meet up with somebody. Here's the reality of it. I will say... Shannon says he's witnessed coal shaking prior to events. Was that out of anger or nervousness? We've got people that have given me Valium and something else. Not Valium, but she gave you some anti-anxiety. Yeah, like four of them to get me to calm down. Something to calm down. She offered him the next year and you said no. Here's what's really funny. I, as nerve-wracking, I am much more nervous. I'm still terribly nervous to actually flirt with and hit on a girl. I am still a 14-year-old freshman in high school very much so and it's it's it is i do not have the ability to uh that's a fear i've never been able to get rid of ever i can't still to this day it it what's funny is that you guys have seen the fear of the fear that I have of nudity and the reason why I don't like being naked is because I'm a girl and not a shower and every guy is and all that same shit we go through this all the time whatever but I have the exact same issues that everybody else does in fact I have them more this is going to sound asshole and I don't even care because we're not sugarcoating anything right I don't even care because we're not sugarcoating anything right right the reality of it is is that when you go to if you go to an event and i go to an event um i've got every set of eyes on me every set of eyes on me it's it's like the circus monkey is here so i have every set of eyes on me and i know that and that that so for me to like hit on a girl no very rarely you'll notice i'm giving away all my trade secrets you'll notice uh if usually because i'm notorious for making out with girls. Notorious for making out with girls. But if you notice, watch along the walls. Watch along the little dark crevices. Because you won't see me do it in the middle of the room. You won't see me actually blatantly flirt and hit on a girl in the middle of the room. Yeah, it depends on where we're at. Most of the time, I'm pretty back. I'm pretty, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be the aggressor. I'm not, I just won't. It's not my style. Because I'm still always that nervous. But I know that. You can be if you have to. If you know that they want it. Yeah. I can fake my way through it. I can power through it through it but don't think that after every single event i don't do a self-evaluation what i do could what i did bad where did i stick my foot in my mouth where could i've done better how could i've engaged people better constantly this is 11 years in this is the reality of it the problem you have is that and trust me the fucking people with the fucking bullshit confidence annoy the fuck out of me don't get me wrong just because I might be nervous don't don't think I can't see through your fucking bullshit because I can spot that shit a mile away I have no problem convincing somebody to crawl in the trunk of a car I've done it for years it's easy but and so I can spot I can spot real confidence and bullshit confidence anywhere I can smell it. Like a fucking dog, I can smell it. And these fuckers that come in and pull that bullshit, yeah, they annoy me. They annoy me because it's not real. We're all fucking nervous. That's part of what this is. This is not, swinging is not a natural part of life in the modern era. It's not. So you're doing something that's complete out of the norm. You know, swinging is not like, you know, ethical non-monogamy is not, you know, people have tried to compare it to the gay and lesbian movement. You can't, okay? That is biological. Swinging is not a biological thing we're predisposed for. It's a choice. And so when you're going against that norm, especially as you get older and you're our age, which the average age of swingers are, it becomes, it is a challenge. challenge and to deny that it's a challenge is bullshit and if you think you can walk in and just well i'll do it on the fly you're wrong you can you can always tell people they're gonna pull that shit the ones that are big talkers online and fucking nothing out in public you didn't own it look we we see it we see it all the time we we catch it every time when somebody's like yammer and then every event they don't show up for you know what what they didn't do was have the final confidence to walk out the door and take ownership of it it's the truth that's the reality that's the game that makes what we do so unusual. Now, the question I have when this is all said and done is that it's not so much that we sugarcoat the message. We don't sugarcoat the message. We really don't. We make the message. We try to make the message understandable there's a difference yeah we also try to make the message relatable the reality is when you are as harsh as as as what we just did it's not that the message isn't understandable. The message scary if you have any experience in church at all or ever been to a brim and a fire and brimstone church they deliver that style of a sermon the heaven and hell the fucking pounding the amens the fucking hallelujahs the fucking ramp up and you're building and you're building and you're and you're going to go to hell if you don't do this in the build. It's used to terrify and to scare people into believing the message. We can do that. I have no problem doing it. But the reality of it is, is that message truly effective? Because in the lifestyle, if you're brand new and you just tuned in, this is the very first podcast you ever heard right now, you're going, what in the flying fuck did we get into? I mean, seriously, right? So it's not that we sugarcoat the message. It's not about sugarcoating the message. It's about making it in a way that will cause people to think about it, hopefully apply it, and not be afraid of it. I guess if that's wrong, if that's misleading people, then I guess I don't understand motivation. I guess I don't understand how people work. I don't know. What do you think? No, you got to say something because now they don't know if you're mad at me. No, I'm not mad at you. I'm just like, huh? Huh is what? Because that doesn't make sense, last part of it no no all that makes sense i'm like i just trying to promise that's it all well it it's it's we walk a fine line i don't sugarcoating things is pretty much lying to people so they don't hear of what it truly needs to be said. Right. We say it. We just don't. Aren't assholes about it. That's what my rants are for. You know what? No one wants to fuck you because your crotch smells like ass and you look like you haven't had a comb taken to your hair in three weeks. I'm not going to say that to somebody. I'm not going to avoid them because of it because they're still a human being and they still have feelings but if you can't see that that's on you or a spouse or somebody else to tell you oh my god when was the last time you had a fucking shower douche douche yeah no i yeah so i'm just like going you know has there been times where I went, you're going to wear that? Yes, and there's times that I fight back and go, yes, I'm going to fucking wear this. Okay, well then at least wear this then. Yeah, and we fight it out, and then we go, and then, you know, and it's okay. Can I wear the hat? If you really want to. She gives it. How does this look? Does it make my butt look big? No. I'm like, yeah, it does. What the fuck is wrong with you? is wrong with you it makes my eyes look usually you need different content you need different eyeglasses it it's it the thing is is that it's so funny because when people when when people want to hear when they really truly want to get better or something you you how we communicate you know our events are different everything we do is different and there's reasons for that it's so fucked up that in in in the current world that we are in this in swinging there are people that will try anything to to take you off course to have you quit preaching the message right because that's kind of what we are i'm like a traveling preacher right i'm delivering the message it's what i do i preach the gospel the swing but look we can break shit down and i'm a firm believer there are sometimes you have to break things down to the most common denominator it got me in problems when i worked in the corporate world because there were times when i was managing sales forces that you had to break it down to look you stupid motherfuckers and because that was the only way they're going to understand it but that's the minority of the time well it's just like on on um full swap 101 someone asked you know what is a what are the keys to communication i saw that i haven't answered well i did yeah i put understanding and to uh or listen to understand and not react but i also put and sometimes you have to reword things so other people can understand yes so we just reword things yeah and we have to reword it and reword it it's like when we get in a discussion and i'm not getting what you're saying and you reword it and i'm like i still don't get it and you reword it again i'm like i really don't know what you're trying to say and then you try to reword it again until finally it clicks yep until you both start speaking the same language yep you have to and yes travis you have to be you have to listen to you have to listen to hear not listen to respond you have to you have to work to get on the same language and you have to you have to be willing to take criticisms because that's Crit criticism is how we get better. It's important. And understand, I do want this message, part of this message to get through. Getting laid does start with self-evaluation. It really seriously does. We have to do that. You have to, after every event you go to, every meet and greet, every hook at them with another couple, just meet another couple, You have to do that you have to after every one of your every event you go to every meet and greet every i'll get them with another couple just meet another couple you have to evaluate it you have to sit and honestly look and go what did i do that was good what did we do that was bad i'll give you a cheesy example if you meet another couple for dinner okay okay what type restaurant did you choose probably going to a barbecue joint and i'm gonna go not a good idea Let's do it. couple for dinner. Okay. Okay. What type of restaurant did you choose? Probably going to a barbecue joint. Eh, I'm going to go, not a good idea. We're going to be fucking slathered and shit. Okay. You know, I mean, but, but you have to evaluate all those things and you have to be honest with yourself. You have to be honest. When we, when When I got called called out i did a lot of self-evaluating that are we sugarcoating because all of a sudden i'm going fuck the last thing we want to do is ever steer somebody wrong that's that's we're not interested in that but i wanted to show the difference i wanted to show the difference because look know we have haters that listen to our show, and I don't care. Good, hopefully they learn something. But I wanted to show the difference because I think people have to understand. They hear that. They hear, well, yeah, they're sugarcoating shit. They don't tell stuff the way it is. The question becomes, do you want to hear it that way? Yeah, no shit about honesty how honest do you want honest to be that becomes a reality with it and that's what it's all about hell of a way to end fucking season 5 or in your case season 4 I'm hoping Miss Amanda will join us for season 6 but she'll have to binge watch 5 so again we're it so again uh we're gonna wrap up because it's time to go it is wow you talked right through halftime and everything what the fuck uh don't forget you can still get tickets to crazy winter nights uh a number one hope we all have a happy new year because the show will come out right before the new year happy new year please be safe we want you all to be able to be listeners and around so please be safe don't Don't drink and drive. Don't do drugs and drive. Be smart. Obviously, go to CrazyCasba.com. You can still get tickets to KWN 2023. Don't forget ASNLifestyleMagazine.com, ShamelessCare.com, and Nightcaps.com as well. Support our sponsors. We've got some new ones coming up for the new year that are going to be starting off. Don't forget to listen to us on Full Swap Radio. Soon to come on live in 2023 and on YouTube. Oh, look a bird. You can send us emails at crazy.kazba at gmail.com and you can follow us on Twitter at truthcrazy as well on YouTube, youtube.com backslashash Kazma. So check us out. Follow us along. Can't wait to see you all for season six. Hard to believe it's going to be season six already. Yeah, no doubt. I don't know if it's hard to believe this is crazy when it's five. I know. Yeah. Holy fucking shit. You'd have thought we'd learn better after the first one. Yeah. No. I hope you guys are excited. We got, don't forget, at KWN, besides all the scrubs on Friday night, the formal on Saturday, we go at the Caswell Lifestyle of the Year Award Saturday night, and also the Ernest Brick Memorial Award also. And, yeah, we'll have stuff there so you can get signed up for our birthday bash, which will be coming up in March. And we've got some other exciting stuff coming, too. So, thank you very much. So, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever motherfucking will. Happy New Year, all.
Speaker4: Happy New Year.
Speaker2: Casmas style. Out. Bye.