Krazy Truth #239 The holiday Drinking special

Transcript

Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. I didn't think I was going to start. Hey you crazy motherfuckers! Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth.

This is episode 239 and I know you here we go we'll just wait oh you can't hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth i'm your host with your most i'm cole and i'm here with the lovely lovely and totally ill prepared but so full of fucking ready to take over the reins miss amanda i never said i wanted to yeah you're an elf for promotion anyways we're here to titillate titillate and christmas cheer your fucking ass straight into fucking oblivion we're gonna fucking shove jingle balls so far up your ass that you're gonna fucking squeak elf shit it'll be the most amazing thing you've ever seen i promise you anywho with that being said see we can just let our people do the.

They pay more attention to me than you do. So there you go. That is a bunch of bullshit. I bet you we could have a contest and we could have a guest people do my intro. I'm just going to say, like, 85,000 people know how to make a rum and coke for me. Think that through for just a minute, okay? That's fucking sad. So, yeah, just say it. Anyways.

So anyways uh so yeah i know i'm gonna fire or kick my ass oh well anyways so the thing is is so we're here to titillate tan like yes we do have uh sponsors yes this very well hopefully with any god-given luck will be the last show of season five we may do one more then we'll probably one more. I was going to say, there's still another week left in the year. Lucky us. Anyway, so we're almost through with season fucking five. This will be season five, episode number 239. So we'll end on 240. So for those of you following at home, hopefully with your brand new notebooks after this weekend.

Anywho, a quick word from our sponsors, why we've got them, because we love them. Would you like to go? Oh, Jesus. Just read what they wrote for you, for fuck's sake. ASMLifestyleMagazine.com 3 million readers can't be wrong. No, what do smart swingers do? Not all of them. 3 million readers can't be wrong.

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So check it out today. Nightcaps. Don't forget you can put nightcap10-kazmainc in the promo code to get your discount today. So what did we learn and most important thing that we've learned so far today? If you're going to do a Santa and you're going to do Zoom calls, besides make sure you know what the kid's name is, go ahead and ask what their fucking elf on the shelf's name is. Because when the kid starts talking about Jeff, and you're like, Jeff the elf who? And you're like, what? You then, and Santa's supposed to know what that elf is doing, so there you go.

So, note yourself for future Zoom calls. If you're going to Zoom call with Santa, make sure you tell me, you know me Make sure you tell me What that little fucker's name is too Is he on the naughty list? Well he might be I don't know So if your name's Jeff and you're an elf Fuck you That's what we're saying right now Merry Christmas Fuck you Be nice He's a bad elf He's on the wrong list But if he's just like a nice guy Well then whatever If you're a nice guy Then why the fuck are you sitting on a fucking show You perverted motherfucker Thank you. nice. He's a bad elf. He's on the wrong list.

But if he's just like a nice guy, well then whatever. If you're a nice guy, then why the fuck are you sitting on a fucking show, you perverted motherfucker. My last little kids. Nothing says Christmas like warm fucking fireball. Alright. There's our show. Now you've seen it. It's to be an hour of just that. Us taking shots and coughing and gagging. Just saying. That was a hoof. Here, hand me your glass back. Why are we hoofing that one? Not that one. Your shot glass. Oh. We're not ready for another show yet. No, we're not ready yet. Good Lord. We're two minutes in. We're already fucking drunk.

What the fuck?

All right Alright It's a drinking episode It is a drinking episode Even though we just did a shot Cheers Now that we're to that Alright, I've done my part Take the reins And go girl, go I don't know, what do you want to to talk about tonight I have no idea Did you want to talk about the past couple weekends I don't know do you Did we talk about it last weekend We talked about the first one of the last weekend Okay what about this weekend We haven't had a show since then I'm not going to be fucked up in 10 minutes I didn't become a fucking eggnog puss jack In that short of time For those of you you who don't know, we do this for our live Facebook audience on CasBank.

Shh. Don't tell the others. Don't spit on me. Don't tell the others. Anyways, but no, I didn't become a fucking... No. Oh, fuck, dude. No, so yeah. So go ahead and... No, we have not talked about this saturday the saturday we just had the event we just had i know so go was kind of giving you a thing a thing well i don't know i had my office work party so i was gone for like three four hours of it yeah yep no only only the beginning part three and a half i know you know the awkward You know the awkward part where you're trying to get people to know each other? Fucking bitch. No, actually.

I can't help when this starts. Actually, I want to give a huge shout out to Leah. Leah McChrystal. She stepped right up and became head elf. And she took charge as I walked down.

Now she took charge as i walked down now if you have not seen pictures if you've not seen pictures of me at said party see i'm a big believer in doing things you know you got to get people to get out of their comfort zones uh you've got to get fucking people you know to do things out so they don't have excuses and so anybody who's ever listened to our show before there's like four of you know that i am not like a fan of being naked that's not my thing as a general rule and so but i was gifted oh god i was gifted i don't even know what you call it a fucking santa face over my dick and some rubber bands and it's what it is and uh so the theme is to try to get people to go out of their comfort zone Because see here again we continuously do things To try to get people You know out of their comfort zone And so I knew That I had no fucking choice But to wear this down Because it's pretty hard to come up with an excuse To say I'm not going to walk up And ask somebody their name because I'm too shy if I'm going to fucking walk down on that.

You are not naked. I was close. You are barely covered. I had cowboy boots covered more than anything else did. So it was one of those things that was like, okay, you know, great, we're going to do this. And so, yeah, And it was still early, so I was completely sober. So that was fucking kick-ass. And you were busy getting your wall of chocolate or whatever the fuck they gave you at the Christmas party. And, yeah. There's nothing. There was no wall of chocolate. It was just a tower of candy. There's nothing like stepping up and you're standing in the fucking elevator.

Standing in front of the elevator in that door. You just want to fucking just shoot yourself in the head. It was awesome. You didn't come... Okay, so I heard you didn't even come down with a robe on or something to cover it. Or like your Santa coat. No. I put my cowboy boots on. I put my cowboy boots on and I walked down there like I owned it.

And like it didn't fucking totally make me want to fucking throw up So the neat thing is For what it's worth If anybody doubted this And I know people go Literally in our hotel room Before I went down there I'm standing in front of the mirror He took a picture and he sent it to me And I was sweating bullets And I really wanted to wanted to throw up. And I was actually, I took three shots of Bacardi. This bottle right here, in fact. Because I was absolutely nauseous. That's how much I did not want to do that. And went down. Yeah, you know what I mean?

The neat thing is if you see it, there is a total amount of like six inches of cloth on this entire outfit. I should have brought it in here. I literally was sweating as if I was in a parka. I was sweating like a fucking stuck fucking big in that fucking thing. I mean, I was sweating, and I was... If you don't believe that you can make me blush, there are people there that got to see me blush from my head to my toes, in fact, actually. So, yeah, that was awesome. Actually, hey, you know what? Hold on. Use your phone. Text Holden. Don't bring it in here. Where is it?

I didn't, you know, I don't really worry where it's at because I don't intend to wear it again anytime fucking soon. So, you know, yeah. I actually felt like I had more clothes on when we did the naked walk at the Pines. Just saying. You didn't. So the thing is, here's a couple things that I've learned. One, ladies, the fact that you wear thong underwear, you should be awarded prizes.

Because in the, like, 23 minutes that I had that on, my butthole was chaf chafed Two It's not comfortable because it cuts in weird places And it didn't accent my ass nicely I did hear, oh you really don't have an ass No, it's all up around my man Someone said that to you? No, multiple people Because it was all up around my fucking man tits Look, you can't even bullshit if you have a man bod I I don't have a man bod. I don't have a dad bod. I don't have a dad bod. I have like a dad bod on steroids. Basically, what that's code for is, you know, it's kind of like I'm a little teapot.

This is what it is. The Santa isn't big enough, and I kept going, eyes up here, and it's cold. We're right by the door. So being a grower, not a shower, it was awesome. It was sweet. So luckily, the tiny little Santa covered my tiny, shrunken, terrified penis. So it pretty well worked out perfect. There you go. So, yeah, that was awesome. At least that little Santa Claus was thick, so it, like... It didn't do a goddamn thing because I wanted to die. So that was the biggest thing. I just wanted to die the whole time.

But we stood down there and we chatted and we talked and we let people take pictures. How long were you down there? Fucking eternity and a half. Okay, it felt like it, but how long were you down there? Probably 20 minutes. And people asked if they could take pictures and I was like, go ahead. And then people were like, what are we going to do with the pictures? I told them, go ahead and post them. So I let people post them on Facebook. Someone has a video of me walking around in it. That's awesome. Lovely. With poses. My guess is around 30. But the thing is, here's the deal.

Anybody bitches about, we were too shy to talk to people. Fuck you. That's how that works. That is a huge fuck off because and and the the highlight of the whole thing honestly i had multiple people tell me that very thing they're like well was really hard to use an excuse that we were too shy if you did that because we know they've listened to the show so they know how i feel about that kind of shit and one gal had bought lingerie, and she was like, she goes, I wasn't, I was going to wear pants down with it. And she goes, she wasn't even there to see me in it, but she saw the pictures.

And again, she listens to the show, so they know how I feel about it. And she's like, well, if Coles wanted to do that, then I'll do this. So if people ask me what the number one thing that I said was, start a page, they said. It will be fun, they said. You did it. This is the thing that went through my brain multiple, multiple times. It did take balls, only I only have one, thank God, because there wasn't enough material if I had two to have cover old man balls. Just saying. So, yeah, there you go. That's funny. There was that.

I've never been so excited to go put on a Santa suit in my fucking life. And then by the time I got there, you were clothed and... Well, I was on my fourth outfit, or third outfit. I actually fourth. My fourth outfit changed. Well, I started off with jeans, light-colored jeans, green shirt. Then I switched to the fucking rubber bands. And then I switched to the Santa suit. And then I put on my all-black with my leopard-skin veil. Which I had a lot of girls with my leopard-skin veil. So they thought that was cool. So by the time you got there, yes, I was on my fourth outfit. Change.

Just diva-ing the shit out of this thing. For people wondering, if you're going to get to see me in that at Crazy Winter Nights, the correct answer is not on your fucking life. Well, actually, I take that back. The bidding starts at a grand. Okay, so the couple they handed to you, were they happy to see you wearing it? Well, actually, here's what's funny. She was. Okay. He was not in the room. He was having fun. So the thing was, he goes, well, stop by the room. Well, I got butterfied and didn't end up stopping down. But he got to see pictures, and he thought it was funny.

So I actually appreciate, no, I appreciate the gift, actually. It was just, but, see, I had no choice because. No, no, I started to cover because I'm like, I turned to him, and I said, I don't know how comfortable he'll be to come down in something like that, but if he doesn't, I'll make sure to get pictures and send it to you. But, see, right at that point in time, that's where I had no choice.

That's where I had no choice.'s where I had no choice I knew as soon as you said that I heard you said that I was like I have no choice Karaoke in it a few weeks No we won't be doing that But so I knew I had no choice I had to at that point in time Because that's everybody would have fucking went Yeah but yeah but So it's like nope So there you go Look at me broadening my fucking horizons I wonder why cold drinks so much I don't know why. Why is that? Hard to tell. But, so, I'm just, you know, throwing it out there. Yeah, I know you will. Don will if I will. Jim, did you get your tattoo?

We had people getting tattoos. So they were going to get a tattoo a tattoo uh-huh yeah on their head yep and i said a lifetime free membership to any casmo events because if i keep walking around outfits like that in public we won't be allowed to have events anywhere just saying so oh that's rocking on yeah so there you go so we have the newest member of the of the got our logo tattooed on his head. And so because of that, he is getting the free lifetime passes to all Caswell events. Okay. Because you know what? That is fucking awesome. And that's the way that's great advertising.

It's like a free billboard. And, you know, whatever. So rock on. So there you go. So when I got back, the party was in full force. Of course, I was dressed up. So, I'm like, okay, let me go change. So, I went and changed to next to nothing. This and booty shorts. I was going to wear a thong. But then the little jewelry thing in the back, it kept getting stuck and stuff. I'm like, screw it. So, I put booty shorts on. had it open, tits hanging out. Because we were able to do that at this hotel. We were. It was fun. Then I got tied up with rope. You did.

But now there was a fumble on the play on that, a horrible fumble on the play on that. Horrible. Horrible. But luckily and i love don who did to you so i let it slide the fact that you were tied up on a cart hanging on a cart and there was no video of you being pushed down the hallway on the cart it's a total total party foul just saying because they got like the the little luggage cart thing because you're little you can ride on one of those hanging up like a bat. And I was literally. The thing is, there's pictures to prove you were literally tied up.

I can't post them, like, on Facebook or anything because my tits are hanging out. Right. But the thing is, is we need you rolling down the hallway on said rack tied up. He said we can do it at KWNN It's like a form of spit roasting Without the dicks It's like you were on the Well no one has No one's tall enough Even the tall guys No one's tall enough?

Okay he tied it to where He grabbed a hold of my legs And he could have fucked me Well I missed all that Well I'm sure Well see there you go He's talented like that So he could probably Fucking make a canoe If we needed it In a wilderness situation That's good That's what it's all about Thank you.

Well, see, there you go He's talented like that So he could probably fucking make a canoe If we need it in a wilderness situation That's good, that's what it's all about All I know is You were down by the time I got down there I miss that part I miss that part of you being tied up And I'm totally fucking At my own event And honest to And honest to God. He was our first. Yay. He was our first. Yeah. Almost our first. KWN is January 13th to the 15th in Omaha. Why do we keep shooting shitty stuff? Oh, my God. Because I had it. It was leftover from the weekend. Duh.

Thank God there wasn't piss leftover from bottles. We'd be drinking that right now. See, it was neat. Here's what's cool now. Don, who tied you up, is going to be doing some of that at KWN. Seminary-ish type thing. So here, Matt, the best thing to do is you need to go to www.crazykazba.com, and you can find all the information out about KWN, which we want people to go, because I'd really like to get this fucking hotel sold out, or finish getting it sold out, whatever. It has been a motherfucker.

When you've had three location changes, every clusterfuck known to man, but we still are skyning, we're still going to have a huge fucking event. I don't know if it's going to go over good or not. I honestly don't give a fuck at this point. It's like, you know what? If you don't have fun, fuck, you don't ever come back. I don't care. That's really, that's where I'm at. I'm just so goddamn glad that it's going to go off. Yay. Here's the deal. They have bars at the hotel. You can't bring booze from your room down into the drinking area. Here's what I'm going to tell you. Bring booze.

Bring booze to have in your room to make runs back to your room. Because you know what? Who knows if they're going to have no staff. Who fucking knows? I have no food and drink minimum I have to hit. Oh, really? Not this time, huh? So, whatever. Last time we had a minimum. A huge one. And they lied about it, but that's okay. The thing is, it's like, so all I care about is people having fun. You know, look, when you put on a fucking event, one, I said seven years ago. Is it a fucking event? Yes. Are we fucking? No, no. There's fucking events and fucking events. Okay. There's two different.

Seven years ago, I said I was never going to do another event in December, so this year I did two. Dumbass. Yeah, pretty much.

So when you move an event four fucking times and you have every clusterfuck that could possibly out of your control happen happen you lose all kinds of stuff so this is going to be like simplistic we are having to get fucking gonna be like the very first one when we had no idea what we were doing except with a whole lot more moving parts okay so you know So, you know, it's going to be, we're having to get creative as fuck about where, like, seminars are going to be and sessions are going to be. But I think we have a pretty good idea on how to handle that.

Look, here's the biggest thing, is when this is done, where we have everything from, just like with Don doing ropes, we've got cybersecurity sessions, we've got photographers that are going to teach you how to take a decent picture of your junk, for fuck's s's sakes you know and and how to take good pictures that way we've got people going to come in and talk about if you want to create content how to do it without fucking shit up self-defense uh one of the big things i'm really proud of we're going to have a fucking whole thing a meet and greet say question and answer period with front porch swingers because they are an openly bi couple that put on bi events and he's going to talk about because there's a huge bi community up here in the midwest at least they're going to answer any of your questions and talk about it because we don't have bi only events because i'm not bi and we don't want to we don't want to use people so i wanted to bring somebody in that can help that population of our group like get answers meet people how to do it so that i don't ever want to have to hear again like i did this year of people going finding out that someone that's by going find out after the fact going yeah a bunch of guys say hey i'd really be interested but i'm afraid of the stigma that would happen so we're gonna tackle all that shit you know so it may be in a cluster you know a clusterfuck format i mean but i don't know it's better than just ignoring it i think maybe not who knows it's going to be it's going to be i don't know we're bringing in people that i don't know shit about most of the stuff so we're bringing people to do that's pretty much that's pretty much i'm there to look pretty and possibly stick my dick in things I don't know shit about most of the stuff So we're bringing people to do That's pretty much I'm there to look pretty And possibly stick my dick in things I don't know, other than that I have no idea Are you?

Probably, no, I doubt Really? He's going to be running around with his head cut off No, actually I'm not because we're going to hire We're going to hire a fucking event planner And we're going to hire fucking people to do shit So no, actually I'm not I'm not doing that this time Wow, he's going to hire fucking people to do shit. So no, actually, I'm not. I'm not doing that this time. Wow, he's going to give up control on everything. What the fuck? No, I didn't say I'm giving up control. See, this is where we have that issue. At no point in time have I mentioned giving up control.

I'm going to have someone else that is willing to get paid to deal with me and my idiosyncrasies and my driving them pause you're gonna give somebody else to put up with you so i don't have to no you you have to partially because i really wait i'm sorry wait here's here's where we're at the christmas miracle part here uh part here. Actually, my partner doesn't jump into the fray of these events until about two more weeks. And that's when she jumps in and goes, but the table decorations aren't ready. And what about this? The sky is falling. The sky is falling. That is when this happens.

And it happens every time. And there's zero interest. Yeah, I know. And then this is when I happens and it happens every time and there's zero interest yeah yeah i know and then this is when i started working on that like months ago which part table decoration hey y'all want to see if you're not if you're not live on this you need to really watch our YouTube channel. This would be a fun question right here. Oh, shit. What? And...

If you're not live on this You need to really watch our YouTube channel This would be a fun question right here Oh shit And What is it that we're giving people when they check in So we know they're supposed to be there A wristband? I don't know As I was saying A wristband because you said you wanted to order them See I was listening No actually I said it because I'm pondering between that and lanyards. But that's okay. No, I heard the lanyard part, but it's all the same. Yes. So, anyway, so you can see this is where... A form of identity. Identification, yes. Or identity.

Maybe I want to be somebody else. They were doing that this weekend. No, you are not going to be the one to instigate that shit, clown.

They know who you are all I know for sure is we're giving away two awards But if I get a haircut and change my hair color They know who I am Probably not We'll just go with that You'll just be incognito I'll be like, I don't know where she's at I don't know if we can find her or not Anywho So yeah, so there you go go so you know i will have to see these are all things that i have yet to figure out i have to let two hairdressers down in another city this week that's you haven't told them yet no no i haven't nope why because of the list of things where that falls in in between filling a fucking hotel for two weekends in a row It is so far down the list Of fuck my life You at least need to tell them No we don't need you after all I'm going to That's on the top of my list For this next week Merry Christmas We don't need you You're fired We do still have hairdressers coming I don't know Anyways They're just different yeah.

It's just, it's going to be fun. What could possibly go fucking wrong? Hopefully, I'll still be doing Santa gigs by then at this point in time. Hey, look, people are still booking shit. I don't fucking care. Rock on. I will do this year round. You're just helping brewskis. I'll call you back. I will do this shit year round. Does that mean you're going to hang out at a bar? Yeah, but I'll do this year round. I'm fucking so, this is like, this is my happy place now. I'm going to roofie myself so I can pet myself in the suit. So actually, maybe my hair color should go gray so I can be Mrs. Claus.

Really? So you're just not going to dye it? My hair is not gray. It's got some gray. Gurple. Neither is mine.

But by the end of fucking, actually, the only thing I'm looking forward to Halloween being over, no Christmas being over Is my fucking woolly mammoth Fucking Grizzly Adam beard Oh my lord It's not getting rid of it though I'll still have So Easter Bunny next Yeah, pretty much I'll still have my fucking beard It just won't be as fucking thick and gnarly He'll have the little pink one Easter bunny Christmas story Anyways Yeah So Keep the elf look They don't want to jack off thinking about fucking their grandmother An elderly person Oh your hip Well I fit more as an elf because I'm so short anyway But you fit as a grandmother because of your age Ha, short anyway.

But you fit as a grandmother because you're age. Hey, elves are old as fuck, too, so keep that in mind. They just look better. Wow. I don't... Bitch, I just want Christmas time for you today. You ready for another drink? Probably. How are you on your drink? Oh, well, you know. Beth, I had no intention of drinking that, so I apologize. But I knew one drink, and it'd go down smooth, and he'd keep drinking. No, actually, what it was was seriously the two Zoom calls I did, they're a learning curve. But. But they were fun, but they're a learning curve.

Everybody looks forward to our drinking episode. No, they don't. Yes't Yes they do because I had several people On Saturdays Because I said well I have my Christmas party And they go Oh that means your drinking episode is coming We need a bigger group of people Yes our annual drinking episode You need to tell your friends to start listening to our shit too That's what needs to happen to happen. We're down to 11 people watching us live. Yeah, so? Yeah, that's because we're sober. I'm not. Fuck. Awesome, all right. I couldn't get drunk on Saturday, but let me tell you. It's feeling pretty good.

How could you not get drunk on Saturday? I't try then I didn't try I had four drinks At the work party They were kind of weak though And then I came back and I had like several drinks And shot or two Well you needed to see there again And then by the time I wasn't getting drunk I'm like it's not worth the calories You were left without adult supervision To actually help you get you over the top Okay so at the party You had fun I had fun That's a win Thank you.

Adult supervision to actually help you Get you over the top Okay so at the party You had fun I had fun That's a win That's a fucking first That's the first in seven years That we've both played On a one night event We've both played at a multiple day event But we've never both played on a one night event Yes That's the very fucking first time When did we play At a multiple one? I attempted at KSN Oh KSN Yeah But that was the last fucking time And that was because It was a multiple fucking A day event But no We never get get to fucking play. That never happens.

But you know, the reason like everybody goes, well, when they were squawking about this, why we kept it a secret. We kept it a fucking secret because we have haters that are assholes. But we had to. And the original plan with it was that we wanted to do it by invite only so that actually we could take and... Not have to worry about security and how people are going to act. So I didn't have to make sure that people, nobody who was not supposed to be there and whatever. So, you know, it's like that was the original plan.

And that's, you know, so because, trust me, 2023, I would be willing to do no events in 2023, none, and just go to other people's events if we could actually just go and have fucking fun. That would be a fucking, that would be a fucking Christmas miracle right there. If you didn't already have 2023 booked, then I'd actually say, let's go. Well, we're still going to travel. But you already have events. Here's the thing. We are traveling. We're going to be on the road a lot. I know that, but you already have events. Yeah, we'll do our events.

Yes, Brian, the staff was incredibly wonderful to put up with all of us. Look, night two, this Saturday, by 7.30, I think it was 7.30. Don, if you're still on, you can tell me. By 7.30, he had somebody tied on their main breakfast table. Make sure you keep this in mind whenever you go out to eat at a hotel. Had her tied to the breakfast table coming all over the table. It was fucking funny. So, yeah. I mean, that was by 7.30 p.m. this night. But we filled the hotel, and it was like 120 people, and it was, I mean, it was a blast. Yeah.

And even though fucking the pool was down, hot tub and the pool this time, but the thing was it was still fun. Think about it. It's the end of the year, you know. Fiscal year. The GM is not, she tried to get it fixed, whatever. But the bottom line is, once again, it didn't matter. Well, we used the hotel again. Yeah. Yeah, well, the thing is, part of what was cool is there was enough of a coolness factor because, look, we had to fucking, you had to work a little bit. Like, as a participant, you had to work.

If you just sat in the corner, you could avoid talking to anybody if you wanted to uh yeah i was insane i looked over and there was a great shot i'm like i'll be damned all right keep going so uh uh but i mean you had to work a little bit you had to take some ownership for your fun like it wasn't just like hey we're just going to provide fun for you you had to take ownership now here's the deal if you didn't get fucked saturday night that ain't on us because people were ready to fucking partay and ready to play they were and the thing is is that what i think this and you guys watch we've got a bunch of guys that were there talking about us right now and talking with us, you guys that were there, how much easier will it be for you to walk up at KWN and meet somebody?

Not necessarily because you're going to get laid, but walk up and meet somebody because we had an event where you had to do that. Look, we've always been about doing shit that's different and training training basically it's it's that's what it is it's training people right learning how to do it we had to get out of our comfort zone and we had to fucking to put on an event like this and everybody had to get out of their comfort zone a little bit to get some but it's gonna be a fuckload easier in three weeks to do it at KWN because it's like, hey, we did it. We didn't die. Holy shit.

It's the same fucking thing. And, you know, does it guarantee that anybody, was there any guarantee of sex? No. There isn't any part. Here's the deal. Even people from the week before, because, like, the name tags did make a big difference, but even the week before, a shit ton of people, we heard the same thing over and over again. I don't know. I don because, like, the name tags did make a big difference. But even the week before, a shit ton of people, we heard the same thing over and over again. We met way more people.

There was more people met people like a meet and greet than any meet and greet we've went to all year long. And as it worked out, some people fucking got. So I'm giggling because Brian put, and seeing your first-gen outfit helped lighten the mood for everyone and helped it to be more relaxed. It's awesome to know that my penis, when I'm left there, everyone can do that. But I try. If it helps, look, if my fucking naked ass fucking strapped in rubber bands can help do that, I'm a team player. Multiple people sent me pictures of you in that outfit. I'm sure. Including you. Now, let it be known.

I didn't say that so you would know it would be proved that I did it. Let it be known that I was sitting with two co-workers only, well, one co-worker and his wife, only because the door was right there and so i could jet as soon as things were over he's 83 and she's 75 and i open my phone i'm like oh fuck okay i'm like sorry don really wants me to wear that for karaoke saturday night friday night at kwh That's up to you. I'm not saying a fucking thing. We can talk about the terms.

I'll put a list together of folks that need to be in on the negotiations of what the terms are for me to wear that to karaoke a song. Because if I do, it would be for one song, and that would be it. But there will most definitely be terms. Now, one thing that will be available that you'll be able to buy on location at KWN. You can buy one now ahead of time. We can buy at KWN is a No More Wet Spot blanket because I should have bought one. Why? What we found out was that, again, see, there's Amanda sex. One spot, no ruffles. Stays right there. You make me sound boring as fuck. No.

People love it. People get off. You have, but you, and then there's coal, like, all over. Somehow or another, we managed to take an entire king-size bed, and it looked like there just had a leak in the roof, and it just rained, and there's puddles everywhere. She squirted. We both slept like pretzel stuff. I put a towel down, and then I'm, like, off to the very edge of the bed. I'm like, oh. We're sleeping. We look like the letter people. T, H, we're trying to sleep around wet spots. So, yeah. Yeah. So, I probably should have had a wet spot blanket. I'm like, oh, you should have known.

I should have. So, how much sleep did we get? None. What's funny is, the best part is that we started on one side, and we worked our way It took three different times, darn it But we managed to Three or four? It was four, but we managed to Left side, middle, right side And some sprinkling for good measure So Cole gets a lecture You know what? Stay on your site. Your site only. Am I mad? No. I'm just like... I would have liked to... I'm like, I'm stupid. I should have gone and slept on the couch. It had a pull-out. You should have. I don't know about a pull-out being helpful.

I'd just lay on the damn couch. I don't know. I don't care if it has a pull-out or not. The thing was, if the room would have been arranged differently, let's say the room... It was cold for one. Let's say the room would have been arranged with living area and then bedroom, the couch would have been hosed. We pretty much stopped at the first instrument of horizontal ability that we came to. So if there had been a bench... That was the bed.

If the hotel been rolling like the hotel been rolling a bed outside in the hallway we never would have made it into the room probably just guessing so it was like hey look here's somewhere bleep yeah if it's any consolation one of my socks was all the way by the door and her fishnet stockings we don't know how those got off but they were so tangled that we couldn't untangle them for her to put them back on when we left. Just saying. Yeah. Telling you. If you want to know what it's like to fuck Cole, Google a 70s Samsonite commercial. Samsonite luggage commercial. That's what you need to do.

That's where they throw the monkey's fucking luggage and watch him just zoom around and attack the shit out of him. Oh, it does. There you go. It was even loud. It was actually like fireworks down the hallway. It was really cool. You know when you go fireworks on the 4th of July and you're hearing like pew pew and you hear fireworks going off in different neighborhoods so there's different levels of loudness.

When you walk down the hall, it's like Crap I mean it was just all It was awesome All different levels of shit Can you tell how giddy he is Yes with the girls No shit I was just as amazed as anybody else I was just gonna sit there What the hell I put my penis in something Other than my hand Neat With the girls. No, shit. I was just as amazed as anybody else. I was just going to sit there for a moment. What the hell? I put my penis in something. Other than my hand. Neat. I was pretty amazed. Okay. I even got scuff marks. He does. He has scratches on them. Awesome. Anyways. Just saying.

You had fun. I did have fun. I've been hearing all about it. I earned that fucking fun. Look, the first four hours, that's stressful as fuck for me I know, I know And then I'm getting texted, I'm like, fuck you, bitch I'm like, you better bring that fucking TV Or else you're out of the fucking van No, okay, so here's what's funny So my word gives out these big, huge prizes Blah We have a present for everybody Some of them got two, and one of them got three But whatever, I'm, huge prizes, blah. We have a present for everybody. Yeah, some of them got two, and one of them got three. But whatever.

I'm not counting. So I'm, like, going, I'm missing this party. I'm, like, this little kid, afraid to fall asleep because I'm afraid I'm going to miss something. So there's a party going on here, and I know people are fucking, and then there's work. Bullshit party. And it's a free prime rib dinner and presents. I feel like I have to go because, you know, there was a 70-inch TV and some other electronic shit. And I don't want to miss out. So I stay there. I get my number. Woo. Okay, so you put your name on a ball. They could have done that, Barbie. It goes into one of the little raffle wheels.

They grab your ball. They call your name. You go up. That's how I got laid. They have another raffle wheel. And you pull a number out. 37. 37 was my number. 37. I'm like, okay. And the managers lead you over there. And they go, here, here's yours.

And I'm like, well, this isn't electronics because it's fucked up shape okay great so i go and i sit down and i'm unwrapping it it's a fucking tower of boxes make a snowman with candy in it okay i'm a sugar addict i get it i get that it-believable Right, I'm like, I'm missing the party for this I should have fucking stayed, I should never come Blah And yes, tube snake is better than prime rib Okay I don't know Dick is better than tube snake I'll help her out, don't worry She's been drinking I'm a little tipsy So, I was like really pissed off Got back I'm like, okay, whatever I'll see her out.

Don't worry. She's been drinking. I've been drinking. I'm a little tipsy. So I was like really pissed off. Got back. I'm like, okay, whatever. So Sunday, I'm like, well, I might as well fucking decorate with those goddamn things. Everybody's like, well, what did you win? I'm like, a fucking tower of candy. I'm like, okay, man, to be nice is something. Everybody gets something. You can just fucking go on Facebook. Everything gets something.

So I open it up And sure as shit on the gift tag Was a $50 gift card I'm like, oh Well, it's better there Okay, well it's a little bit better than We wouldn't spend it on candy A tower of candy, no we didn't, it's still sitting on my table So that made it a little bit less painful But still When her one bond Or one of the bond managers goes He goes, where's Cole?

He's playing Santa at a party A swingers party He goes, well, you probably had more fun there than here No, so I stood up and I went At a swinger party Because he knows Yeah, he knows You told him Yeah, I don't care And he goes, oh, well, you probably have more fun there than you would have here. Mm-hmm. Wait, what? Don't tell me that. Like, yes. Yes, talking to the elderly people that were keeping me entertained? That's absolutely it. That's absolutely it. When the old lady's like, well, thank you for visiting with us. I'm like, I'm just close to the door so I get the fuck out.

It's like, yeah, yeah. I got to get back to the party. It's, you know. But know But well that was the thing Like Brian People want to picture you In your elf outfit So The thing is Here's the deal This shit is Cause I was happy He's like glad you were happy Glad you were happy Sitting on my lap Will we do this again I was happy to get back to the party And let's have fun And let's get loose Will we do this again in December Yes we will Will you be dumb enough To go to your fucking Office work party That fucks you over every year No I'll see you next time.

And let's have fun And let's get loose Will we do this again in December? Yes, we will Will you be dumb enough to go to your fucking office work party That fucks you over every year? No, no you won't And if you do, then go buy your own fucking 50-70 inch TV Don't plan it on my work party event Fuck your work party Whenever the hotel will work and I can get the hotel sold That wins Are you going to have two weekends in a row again? Probably, I may do it for every weekend in December. Fuck, we'll have a Christmas Eve, motherfucker. You know what? Here's the deal.

If you rub Santa's chimney enough and something comes out, you win a fucking prize. We may do that. I hope all the people that listen and copy everything we do, they're going to do one every weekend in December. Yep, we are.

Every fucking weekend fucking weekend Every single one Every day in December We're gonna We're gonna have an Advent calendar of sex Open a door There's a dick Open a door There's a pussy Open a door There's a tit Every day That's something I didn't do this weekend Suck a tit No eat pussy You didn't eat pussy Did you suck a dick You sucked a dick I sucked a dick But you didn't eat pussy There's still time Here's the joy With having our kids older You know what If you're listening to this And you want to make sure that you don't want to make sure a dick. I sucked a dick.

But you didn't eat pussy. There's still time. Here's the joy with having our kids older. You know what? If you're listening to this and you want to fuck on Christmas Day in between my Santa gigs, you know what? We do our Christmas Christmas Eve. We'll come fuck you. We don't care. Hey, guess what? Mom, Dad, what are you doing? We're going to go fuck. Who? I don't know. We're going to meet them when we get there. I have Santa gigs at like 3 and 5.

that hey you know what ho ho ho let's go there's 30 27 and 24 entertain your fucking selves for fuck's sake you know go buy yourself a fun christmas present what do you want from me it is what it is i'm just saying santa comes early then santa came early this fucking in December this year I year Fucking rock Anyway so the thing is We're pretty See well I'm serious Like here's the deal And I get to eat pussy Yeah and you'll Knock her ass out Don't do it in a hot tub You'll drown her Anyway the thing is We'll hold her up It's all good Put on a flotation device The thing is Hey look We've got junk We'll travel We don't care I have junk We'll travel We have junk We'll travel Thank you.

up it's all good put on a flotation device the thing is is hey look we've got junk will travel we don't care i have junk will travel we we have junk will travel we there's no we you know how much more fun christmas will be if we go fuck somebody else and fucking or laying under other people's christmas trees doing weird kinky shit with candy canes i don't care you know what it's not vegas but it's a step in the right fucking direction.

I'm just saying, this is the joy of all the years of being drunk and putting presents together from Santa at the fucking four in the morning and getting out when the kids are like, hey, and you're shoving down a cookie and all you want is another rum and you're fucking puking up eggnog and dealing with family and all that fucking happy horse shit. Everybody's grown now. Hey, you know what?

You don't Fuck you take it back do it on your own terms Go away Go find somebody else to fuck We can go do what we want to do Oh you can go look at the lights Yeah something like that We're going to go look under a tree And skirts and nutsacks And pussies and whatever we don't care Give me your Shot glass because that's what I fucking need right now Amanda's feeling good Yeah I'm holding my radio so it's going to suck tomorrow By the way when you listen to Full Swap Radio tomorrow I apologize Oh you'll get it done you always do The thing is that seriously this is the value Now of being an adult We just have not taken advantage of it.

It's like, look, here's the joy. Our kids are fucking probably never going to have grandkids, so we don't have to entertain grandkids. It's like, where's grandma and grandpa going? Grandma's going to go be a hoe. I mean, we don't have to deal with that shit. This is a mystery drink. Oh, there we go. Perfect. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready. Come on, let's go fucking blow. Woo! Things like a ball!

you for the show through to get ready come on let's go fucking blow the fuck was that shit congratulations i now know what reindeer piss tastes like what the fuck do you know how many times santa's wanted to tell little kids and i'm like we're gonna put to put out carrots for your reindeer. Don't. That'll kick our ass. It makes them fart. I should tell them that. Lone. I thought it said bone for a minute. Long Island Ice Teeth. Okay, here we go. 99 proof. There we go. Yep. Mm-hmm. Would you like to come over and fuck an elf and Santa? I'm a game. Hey, you know what we can do?

We can kick the kids out. You guys should go somewhere else for Christmas. Presents are gone. Goodbye. All we got to do is tell them we're having a Christmas orgy over here. They'll fucking run for the elves. Just saying. I think I'll know where to go.

The only reason we probably won't invite people to our house Is because with three dogs Here's the deal, if you're naked A dog is going to lick your butthole That's why we've never had a house party It really is Because what are we going to do with the dog And the one that's a 140 pound dog He loves people If you don't mind a 140 pound polar bear With three legs sniffing your crotch, then come on over and we'll have sex. I mean, it just is what it is. You know, so it's nothing personal, but that's why we'd prefer to go somewhere else to interfere in your festive activities.

We can go find a hotel somewhere. I know one that's open that probably won't have anybody in it. We should call them up and say, hey, we said we want to rent this for Christmas. You know what? Here's the deal. No. You want to know what's really funny? I'll bet you I could fill that fucker starting at 7 o'clock Christmas Eve or Christmas night because people are so sick of their fucking family. They're like, fuck it. Let's go hang out with people that want to be stupid and crazy. For the record, we reserved every room in our name.

We had We had to We had to So the whole hotel was ours Both weekends So guess what happens when the rooms don't sell That would be it So that's why the contract said free reign So that means I still have 30 rooms That need spooing them from the first weekend So just saying Actually though, here's the thing, I gotta finish that deal up But that now when you're in Lincoln We now have a hotel that we will always use That will be the hotel you go to, Casby You sell them Casby and you'll get a discount Allie was awesome She's awesome I love dogs, mine stay away when clothes come off Ours will get more excited when clothes clothes come off.

One gal the first weekend, we're pretty sure. She was there when I stopped there yesterday. Oh, really? She's like, hey, I'm sorry, Mr. Barty. When's the next one? I can't wait. I'm like, yeah. They'll have trouble staffing it the next one we do because they're going to want to participate in it. I'm just saying. I could see that. Yeah, exactly.

i mean that it is it is what it is so just saying we we are um and we're excited it's gonna be a good time yeah it's gonna be fun time so yeah it was fun and and uh fuck yes you better today okay so we got people like sending this message about they think they should are to KWN. Everybody should go to KWN. It's going to be fun. I'm tipsy. I'll respond. It might be the last one. It might be the last one we do in Nebraska. Who knows? That's iffy. Could be. Hard to tell. We'll see. Nebraska's kind of being a pain in our ass. A scoach. Just a scoach.

You know, the only problem this weekend, I didn't have my nails done. At all this weekend I didn't have my nails done At all But I couldn't have my nails done Because through my Santa gloves You can See my black nails Santa So that's Amanda's flirting Amanda if you have a vagina Amanda's in the mood to lick it So just putting that out there If you're trying to look for that I don't know.

Amanda, if you have a vagina Amanda's in the mood to lick it So just putting that out there If you're trying to look for that You know, if you're looking for that last minute gift, Clark For Miss Amanda She's actually looking for a pussy that she's looking for She's actually really in the mood for a pussy Are you going to have your fucking dopey used to work for Boyfriend from work come over and fuck over Christmas? Is he going to peddle power over here? I don't know. If we tell him there's free food, will that up the odds of him coming? We've talked about, I don't know.

Have you started to set something up? No. You fucking bitch. We need to see each other, you know. Oh, fucking A. If you've set something up. I haven't set anything up. No. He's a boy toy. Do you expect me to just turn him down? But we haven't set him up. Yes. If it's Christmas, I expect if he pedals over here, I'm not buying him fucking presents, too. He can't get away from his roommate. If it's snowy, he can't pedal over here. That's what it is. Hey, my bike doesn't have winter tires on it. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know you don't volunteer, huh? Sled. That's what it's going to be.

I'm just saying. No, it isn't going to happen. Skiing. It't going to happen Bullshit I guarantee before I guarantee before the Christmas weekend is over You bang him No How much do you want to bet?

No, it'll be after No, okay, before the new year you bang him Before the new year Yeah, because you've already You can tell by that fucking You were trying to figure out the calendar in your head No, we haven't Well, no We haven't There's a lot of just lip service You know, guys give that I don't I just It seems like A lot of guys to me Just give me lip service I'm going to Columbus I'm going to Columbus Oh, we should hook up But they don't have the nerve The nerve To follow through He's been fucking you for three fucking years The thing is I'm going to Columbus and I'm willing to brave a blizzard And come back late Yes he's a dork but he's a good fuck Jesus good lord I've told you multiple times Thousands of times He's just a good fuck Right I get that I'm just saying I'm going gonna go to a daycare And then I'm gonna see if any of the After that, if anybody still wants to fuck this in Columbus I won't be there Oh, for you We'll rock the fuck up How am I getting home?

Call Pedal Power And see if we can blow you in a Christmas basket And ride you home Hey baby Want an Uber together Tell your boss that you're drunk at work And see if he'll give you a free Uber If you're smart you'd start banging the GM At your work and then you could get like a free Lawner car and then you could get like a demo Hey I just thought I would come down and tell you I really appreciate working here and giving you a Christmas as far as it was.

Grrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgr's massively tall But I probably would do him But I have a feeling he'd be a big disappointment Not if he gives you a Tahoe for a loaner vehicle That's true If you get a $60,000 loaner vehicle He's not a disappointment I can fake damn near anything I would fucking hope so I'd suck his dick for a loaner vehicle Hey baby Can I at least take one of your cars home Hey it's really cold I just want to have one of your cars for the weekend Will you buy me an Uber Can I get a raise raise wow i wonder if that would work only one way to find out isn't there i need a raise you need fucking that one you need new content what that one i could never do what the the my direct boss oh the fuck you couldn't i i have seen with enough drinks To put some weird fucking dicks in your mouth Bullshit I have seen you drunk Jump and start a melee With a girl that you said you It was women That you said you would never in your life And you were drunk and you were like okay Because I couldn't see.

And then for the next three fucking years, she chased you around forever. And we all laughed at you because a lot of girls told you, don't do it. Don't do it. Whatever you do. And you were like, but you were drunk, and you were like, hey, pussy. But it started this whole big, huge fucking melee. You almost died. On a dance floor. It started off as like two people and it ended up with like 20 women. It did. It was fucking awesome. And for three years, you paid for that motherfucker. So don't tell me that you couldn't suck your immediate boss's dick.

Because I know you and I know with the right amount of shots, yes, you could.

You would do it and you would giggle while you're doing it fuck you do with your elf ears on hey just saying holidays you would i know that was something that was something parts boy said he goes well you do your thing i'm pretty sure you'd have fun but i couldn't do that Oh bullshit That motherfucker Can fuck you in a heartbeat Like dude As many fucking hits As you put on me And you expect me to leave That you wouldn't do anything New band name Melee on the dance floor Melee on the dance floor I'll claim it Wow I fucking hate you I was really I wasn't gonna get tipsy and I'm sitting there fucking drinking rum like a motherfucker.

Fuck you. I'm going to look like... Yeah, it would be great when the little kids are like, whatever you do, after you touch Santa, I don't lick your fingers. Do you have... Do you have... okay so you'll find this funny so today at work because i was by myself this morning for like an hour and a half you touch yourself yes i did i fucking whore i can't show you any of the pictures no you never show me any of the pictures. The only way I see you is to open the fucking Snapchat and you send to everybody else. So, okay. I have to pay to be on your only page.

I took all my clothes off at work and I'm like taking all these pictures and stuff and I'm taking out and I'm just taking them all over. Not beyond the little office area that I'm in because, well, then there's cameras and Amanda doesn't trust that. so I'm just taking them all over. Not beyond the little office area that I'm in. Because, well, then there's cameras and Amanda doesn't trust that. So I'm like taking one of my markers and banging myself with it. With a marker? Didn't get off or anything. With a marker? Well, it was still. With a dry erase marker? Are you serious?

No, it wasn't a dry erase marker. It was one of those really large Sharpies. The one they fill out the fucking entrances for? No, the ones I mark off on my folders that are on my fucking desk. Okay, it was a huge disappointment. But that's beside the point. I was just doing it for a video to put on OnlyFans. It doesn't matter. Right, right. But I had that marker in my hand multiple times today. They laugh. Solely for content. I'm laughing going, wow, I just got pussy juice. You know what? I would have been like, anytime somebody said, do you have a marker?

I'd have been handing that motherfucker out. Hey, use this one. It works well. Sniff yourself. Sniff it. Just sniff it. Yeah, that's... Might have me all over it. Oh my lord.

No, and you're going to talk about you wouldn't fuck your boss Seriously You fucked the office Thank god it wasn't a stapler It fired off No I was pissed because even when we got in the car I'm like I should bring my dildo Then I could like record myself With a dildo in the office Well shit we'll make sure tomorrow you have that weekend I'm just making content for OnlyFans But I just didn't bring it And I'm like well I don't want to go back inside It's fucking cold outside and who gives a shit Hey I'll be right back I gotta get my dildo I'm like what do I have?

A marker Which reminds me we've got to get the We've got to get the fucking Dildo Somebody I gave They gave, they had me give one out. Where? At the party. They did? Yes, the one, jackass. The giant. Oh, the one the size of a fucking vacuum cleaner. The giant vibrator. Yes. Yes. So we need to get you one of those. Those are obviously, you know, If anybody catches her at work, they'll just fuck her and move on. They won't even care. Actually, if anybody catches me at work, the only other person that's there that early when I'm gutsy enough.

Okay, so there's two people that show up at the same time, me and this other gal. Well, she took the whole week off. Imagine that. So I'm going to take advantage of it. The only other person. Yes, the big purple one. The only other person that shows up that early is the guy that knows that we're swingers, but he could never do that. Thank you. So, I'm going to take advantage of it. The only other person... Yes, the big purple one. The only other person that shows up that early is the guy that knows that we're swingers, but he could never do that. Yeah, except he would fucking...

If he walked in on that, he'd fucking have... If he walked in and saw me naked, I'm like, sorry, taking a couple pictures. His dick would be out so fucking fast, your head would spin. Yeah, because he's commented multiple times about me and his wife have the same figure and how it's so hot. Yeah. Trust me. You said, hey, I want to come over and eat your wife out. He'd be like, okay. Probably. Yeah. We'd set up theater style seating. You all right there? Elfie? Uh-huh. Yeah. Ready to go shopping now, aren't you? What could possibly go fucking wrong? Uh-huh. Yeah. And it's not going anywhere.

Well, no, it's late now. It's cold outside. Oh, they don't have any more of the big ones? Damn it. Well, you know what that means, Brian? We're just going to have to come up on Christmas and you and your wife and my wife are going to have to fucking take turns beating the shit out of their pussies. Extra large wand thing. If you put it on your head, it would give you a concussion. Well, it was funny because you showed people the picture of it next to his hand. But it still doesn't do it justice. This dude is like, he's got big hands because he's like six-something, six-eight-something.

If you shoved it, I said to her. I held a picture, held it, and someone took a picture of it. Because next to somebody that's under five feet tall. It's fucking huge. When I, when, when. But he put it on me. Well, yeah, and turned it on and fired it up and fucking smoke came out. Boom. Smoke came out. It was fucking shit. You know it's been an hour. Has it really? Oh, it has been an hour. Okay. So as much as we'd like to continue doing this show that is mindlessly numb. Yeah. We're not going to. So it looks huge compared to Miss Amanda. Everything looks huge compared to Miss Amanda. Maybe.

Trust me, it's been one of the selling features I've had for years Anyways You're a dork These shows are always so awkward to end So Because we have talked about absolutely nothing Accomplished nothing That's what the drinking episode is about Yeah but it's always our least watched show Do you know that? It doesn't matter It's an annual thing We did it Rock on Because this is the mature thing See we're showing our maturity Thank you. Yeah, but it's always our least watched show Do you know that?

It doesn't matter, it's an annual thing We did it, rock on Because this is the mature thing See, we're showing our maturity Okay, so with that being said Kids, read ASNmagazine.com Three million readers, write, can't miss it Know about fucking porn swingers All that shit, it's awesome Make it a habit Shameless care, get your junk tested If you stick your dick in other people Or you get other dicks stuck in you swab check it out and make sure your throat too because that's where that shit hides hey my dick's clear but my throat's got gonorrhea quit it okay that's the truth that's not true it's the truth and if your dick doesn't work it's a throat so shut up man and don't get if your dick doesn't work and you want to stick it to other people so you can check to see if you have gonorrhea get a hold of shamelesscare.com because they sell ED meds as well KK50 get a discount well it does if your dick doesn't get hard you're not going to get gonorrhea then you're just going to get gonorrhea almost so gonorrhea is not like a spread that you just rubbed outside on it, and it's like spreads on your dick.

You've got to get in there and fish around for it. Anyways, use coupon code KK50, get $30 off, and know that your dick's going to be hard, and you can get tested for the gonorrhea you picked up since it got hard. Stop it. If you cram a limp dick in your pussy, don't worry about worry about it, I'm just kidding Then you're just squishing it and hoping it works Be nice, god Your vagina is a wonderful carrying case for my limp penis I've done that a lot Then I said to her, how did it feel, baby? And she's like, it seems so thick That's because it's watered up as a ball because that's all it is.

It's just a squished ball. I put my leg in there too. Anyways, and also when you're going to go out in public, don't get roofied. Unless you're wearing a Santa suit because it's fuzzy as fuck. But no, don't get roofied. Make sure you use nightcaps.com and promo code nightcap10-caspainc. Don't trust your safety to just anyone. Trust it to yourself. Nightcaps. That's the only shark tank. Don't. I don't know. Riphon, Casbah, Inc. Don't trust your safety to just anyone. Trust it to yourself. Nightcaps. I've seen a shark tank. Donut. Donut. Merry Christmas. Yep. Merry Christmas. Absolutely.

Happy Hanukkah. That started the other day. Happy Hanukkah. Merry Christmas. Yule starts tomorrow. Yule starts tomorrow. Kwanzaa starts sooner. Might have. I don't know. Day after Christmas. Day after Christmas. Yep. Yep. And all those festive things. And don't forget, I'm available. Thank you.

It starts as soon as I might have I don't know Day after Christmas Day after Christmas Yep Yep So and all those festive things And don't forget I'm available If you need a Santa I don't know for anything If you need a dick He's available I mean yeah If you need it for Like dirty Which one got once a picture Of my dick card And the Santa suit Just my hat And my Santa coat open Which we'll do that picture for Okay What the hell Make a donation to Can I be the fluffer on that one Sure Hey look here the hell? Make a donation to Casbah Care. Can I be the fluffer on that one? Sure.

Hey, look, here's the deal. Make a donation to Casbah Care. I'll show you my cock with my hat and ball. I don't care. Anyways, we sure do love you, and this has been a wonderful episode 239, the drinking episode. Yep. Yep. Happy holiday Toodles Doing the only way I know how, motherfuckers The only way I will And the only way I want to With a drink in my hand And a reindeer by the tail Ho And all that Kaz style Out Bye