Krazy Truth #238 New parties and new adventures

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm here, the you most i'm cole i'm here with the lovely lovely and shopped out miss amanda i didn't even started hey or hey either way hey and we're here to fucking babble at you for one hour of your life we're gonna suck the brain cells right out of you don't hit your don't hit her with your ball yeah you know what that's the way this works all the time yeah maybe oh wait i'm sorry okay a little better anyways don't get makeup on my ball the little kids wonder why my ball is a different color anyways okay what did you listen to my rant did you listen to my rant i did did you like how i started it off with a huge fucking belt no i fucking hate that shit i fucking hate that shit you know what you know why how was your walk windy no okay and refreshing no okay so for people that don't know of all, hold on, we can't talk about any of this shit yet Hold, stop, pause This is season 5, episode 238 This is like the second to the last episode of the year So season 5 is almost finally about fucking over Fuck you, season 5 Fuck you, fuck you hard Anyway, so season 5 is almost over Luckily have sponsors for season five, and we love them all. 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The drink spike the drink spike spiking scrunchie prevention method as seen on shark tank i don't forget to put nightcap 10 hyphen casbah inc in the promo code and get a discount there you go now then so so great we got people going is the next episode the drinking episode like you only forgot you fucking luscious good god all you want But it is you want to get drunk and stupid geez you can come to one of our events and see that anyways um so for those of you that don't know we record this in front of our live facebook crowd on casbah inc shh don't tell the others i almost lost a look in that one that's horrible oh my gosh so what happened earlier, I went live to do a promo for our show and events and things going on. And I was going to pick up Little Miss fucking InShape. Act like you're interested. We're on TV. I wasn't listening. I'm trying to follow. Anyways. So the thing is, is that somebody started walking ahead of time. But we were on opposite sides of the street. Pause. Pause. Okay. First, I said, it's supposed to be nice out. If it's nice, I will run home. Not uncommon for me to run home from work. It's only five and a half miles. No big deal. And it was nice out. It was nice out, but it was windy as fuck. And I got stuck doing something else. So then he's like, well, am I coming to get you? And I said, yeah, come get me. I was going to leave by now, but I got in the middle of something. And he never left. No, she said yeah come get me i was gonna leave by now but i got in the middle of something and he never left no she said come get me yes come get me not come get me early come get me so i assumed that meant at regular time and i said i was gonna leave by now if you ran home but you weren't running home so i thought you would stay and get the hours since we like to lose money on a regular basis and you're our only hope Help me Miss Amanda, you're my only hope I have to like shake two hours off somewhere Anyways, okay, oh my god, we're gonna be shut down So uh, yeah, so anyways So I went to try to go get her And I'm going live and she's on the other side of the fucking street Quit banging the table I'll show you banging the fucking table Anyways, so she was on the other side of the fucking street And so I'm honking and waving but she has her earbuds in so i do a big ui i have around the wind blowing me it sounded like this and in the background there was you're totally breaking my fucking thing so i have earphones in to keep me from not being bored and to keep me in step the wind blowing against my face and it's loud as shit you try calling me i can't hear you well i don't try calling until after i whipped around i heard a horn i blew the horn she no acknowledged so here's the deal if you want to just like take miss amanda just drive up behind her with ear plugs in and take Anyways, I pull into our doctor's parking lot. I'm blowing the horn because she's too far for me to catch her because I'm fat. I'm Santa. I'm fat. She's missing shape. And I'm screaming. I'm standing in their parking lot yelling, Amanda! Amanda! I'm out of the vehicle. And I told everybody live. I'm like, hey, hold on. This will be funny. I'm going to get my ass kicked. Then I hop in the car. And it's right where there's construction so i go zoom and i should honk the horn anyway i saw you and now i'm trying to get back and the first place to turn is under construction so i have to go up like four blocks and i'm trying to weave around and so people are like that's why everybody knows about that so everybody wanted to see people were disappointed i didn't stay alive for you to get in the car to kick my ass. So there you go. So that was the whole walking bit. Your child says it is grainy. But he goes and tells Dad to quit hitting the table because it's an expensive computer. Okay, so we're using his computer because mine's almost dead, and that's the one we usually use. So, yeah, it might be fucked up a little bit. Oh, no. Now we only have like 38 people watching live. Anyway, sorry, I'm being a smartass. So, here's the deal. So, there you go. So, if you want to go to Facebook, go to Facebook. Yeah, go to Facebook. You know, it's a little clearer. Color's a little bit better because that just makes really goofy. Sound is better. You don't know that. I won't touch the table anymore. I don't know why. No, it's just when you bang it, it shakes. I just need something better to hold the computer up higher. You mean versus a candle? All of our high-tech shit here in the Casbah Studios. Hey, I rigged shit good. We rigged shit. That's what we do. Anyway, so, yeah. So, there you go. So, we have a... So, yes. The next episode is the drinking episode. Yes. Because it always happens after my work party. Yes. Which, my work party is Saturday. And guess what? We have a hotel thing thing so i probably won't be going to it yes you i told you to go fucking go to it i know but i'll be gone all night so what's the point well what would you have not my computer it's a kid's computer he probably did download too much porn what would you miss i'm sure we have cocks waiting for you when you get there.
Speaker2: A gauntlet of penis.
Speaker3: But I don't want everybody to be, like, worn out.
Speaker2: How can I play elf?
Speaker4: Wow.
Speaker2: Wow. I don't want, like, limp, like, used cock. I want fresh cock.
Speaker3: No, it's more of a... Never mind.
Speaker1: I'm fucking with you.
Speaker2: Never mind.
Speaker1: No, quit being a grump, bud. We all know this because you're a hostess with the mostest. Oh, are you fucking shitting me? Holy fucking Lord. Anyways. But it's still, you just can't watch it. So you want to be the hostess with the mostest. So you may end up going. You don't know. We'll have to see how it goes. I'll debate upon it. We'll see. I don't know going you don't know you know well we'll have to see how i'll debate upon it we'll see i don't know i don't know geez you're anyway so it should most like i i don't know i mean it's free dinner and raffles you know last year i got 250 bucks granted like three years in a row i didn't get anything right but so i was happy with the 250 bucks thing is is that if you know you'll probably end up going which means you'll be stuck with just me entertaining you what could possibly fucking go wrong with this actually way more people cleaned up so far we still have some spaces available and we would love to fill those fucking spaces oh my god we love to fill those spaces that's because we have to pay for what doesn't sell yes so the free event costs us money yes it's free for everybody we would like it to be free for us too so we can enjoy it we would really like that but as of right now what is the drinking word for the day fuck i think so what is the drinking word i don't with fuck and go with that because that's the best. It depends on how train wrecked you want to be. Why are you looking at my hat? I didn't. I looked at your glasses, but that's okay. Why? What's wrong with my glasses? That? Ew. Slobber. Anybody that knows Cole, if you're wearing glasses around him, he licks your glasses. I do not. So I just licked his glasses for everybody that you've tortured in life. I don't torture people. I'm not a mean person. I'm really not. Anyways, okay. So yes, no. Miss Amanda will be there. At worst case, she'll be there by like 10. So she'll be late. She's going to her coverage. She wants to take a girl with her to put on a scene for the office. So if you want to be the girl that goes with her to the office party so that she can happily announce her bi-ism, then please let us know. No, also I was going to say, well, this is my girlfriend. And then kiss her once on the lips with tongue. I never said that. No, but I'm just saying, look, if you read the script of the porn you read the script of the no what i hate is everybody thinks that the lesbian should get special attention and even though she really sucks at her job they don't feel like they that they can fire her because well she's like in this protected category and i said back in the 80s it would have been protected but now it's okay right so what if So what if I said I was bisexual and came out to my work? Some people know. I just don't tell people. I advertise it. So wait a minute. Are you just doing this so that you can be more of a slacker at your job? Yeah, pretty much. I kind of slack anyway. Why not a little bit more? They can't fire me. No, I get it. I get it. It is one of those things. I think it would be funny as hell. I think you go you go and you go and i think you make out with somebody at work somebody different than normal i'm like there isn't anybody there i want to make out and then you bring your own i think you bring a chick that you want to make out with and make out with a girl at your work that's what i think you should do just saying i think like when you get like whatever if you get a prize you have a celebratory one girl that you did the sister's wedding, she knows I'm bi. Right. So they'll go, she'll sit at the table with all the accounting department and go, no, she's bi. Yeah, oh, yeah. But it'll be the rest, it'll be great. I'm telling you, it'll be great fun. Whatever you want, then you make out as a celebratory thing, and they'll be like, and then leave it. Just don't say a fucking word. I'll be like, what? That'll be, and this is how we start the new year these are the things that we sit around i can put a dress on so i can go with her i'm telling you this is fun shit so yeah so there you go all right so do you want to do a health tip of the day no that i just say boyfriend no shit no shit you know you do it right what bring a girl and a boy and do a celebratory kiss with each one of them That'll fucking their brains will explode The car business will absolutely melt down No was it last year I started to like Act like the big huge beam was a stripper pole And everybody turned around and went Shelly Your fur coat stays wherever close where I'm at. That's the rule. Just saying.
Speaker3: Shelly was talking about her fur coat.
Speaker1: Her fuzzy coat that I love. I know you do. I can't wait for KWN because she wears it. And she lets me wear it. That's so fucking awesome. I just love it. Anyways, so you want to do the whole tip of the day?
Speaker2: No.
Speaker3: That's the same as last week.
Speaker2: I know.
Speaker1: You know what that means? We do it twice? No. No. That's the same as last week. I know. You know what that means? We do it twice? No. No. Go fish. Make up one. You got to have it. Go. It's all you. You need to do a woman's health tip of the day. What's a good woman's health tip of the day? I'll do a guy one. You do a girl one. I don't know. Well, I'll do a guy one first, so you'll be thinking.
Speaker3: Do a smell test?
Speaker2: No.
Speaker3: Check your pH, you get balanced?
Speaker1: No, you'll be thinking about it.
Speaker2: Be thinking.
Speaker1: This is serious stuff.
Speaker2: Okay?
Speaker1: I'm just saying. I'm going to do a guy one first.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: Make sure at events where you can be completely nude, you know where the door jam is and your nuts are at all times to keep them separate. Just saying. It's one thing to stub your toe. It's another thing to shut your nuts where the door jam is and your nuts are at all times to keep them separate just saying it's one thing to stub your toe it's another thing to shut your nuts in the door health tip of the day guy version and the woman's version and go your nuts would get stuck before your dick let's explain how this works as you get older your penis doesn't get longer. Your nuts don't get longer, but the sack hangs lower. That's why there's jokes about touching the water. But yours aren't as heavy. I only have one, so it's like a built-in flotation device. But a lot of guys have to make sure they don't waterboard their nuts because eventually as they get older, they take a shit and it's sitting in the water. They're floating. So if you're naked at an event, you're older and you're walking and your balls are swinging, they can easily get caught in a door and next thing you know, whap. Now you've got your doors caught in the door. Now you've got your nuts caught in the door. Your penis stays the same size. Sometimes he concerns me. Seriously, serious. How does he come up with this shit? Because I... Have you ever gotten your nuts caught in a door? I only have... Have you ever gotten your nuts caught in your zipper? Almost. Didn't we have a kid that did it? Yes, we did. I only have one nut. So mine is, I have to know what side my shit's on, but mine doesn't hang as low, because it's like, since the whole losing one, it like, I defeated gravity. It's like a superpower. My ball sack defeated gravity, because I only have one nut. Seriously. Look, I don't know how, our nut sacks are like your tits. There we we go this is the best one there's the analogy i was looking for your tits naturally just start to go head head south so do our balls your pussy sagging bad i was trying to take a picture of them today going your pussy lips don't go get stretch out but your tits do our dick doesn't stretch out but our does this is why we do this show do you know how many people obviously we're apparently educating right now as we speak probably a majority of the boobs losing their thing is the younger you are the more dense and full they are so when you get old you lose that density but you also get pregnant have babies they expand they shrink they expand they shrink and they go okay so let me explain how it works with guys as you when you're younger your skin is thicker and stronger and more resilient and so it it bounces back and then you go through and you get married and she takes your nuts and gives them back and takes your nuts gives them back takes your nuts and gives them back and so in turn the skin doesn't bounce back quite like it used to it's kind of like a blow in a bubble eventually the gum just pulls apart and rips and it doesn't blow a bubble anymore that's what it is with your balls does it happen with your penis skin too it expands and it shrinks
Speaker3: your penis
Speaker1: your penis doesn't change That's what it is with your balls. Does it happen with your penis skin, too? It expands and it shrinks and explodes. Your penis doesn't change. Look, just because the size of the package the wieners come in can be different with more or less room, the wiener stays the same size. I was picking. Look, if I could tie a bowling ball to my dick and it stretched out and all of a sudden I've got a dick that's seven foot long, every guy would be walking around dragging the ball and chain literally with their cock. But it doesn't work that way. Just saying. The song isn't, does your dick hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you tie your dick in a knot? Can you tie it in a bowl? No, it's, do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? See what we're doing here? So when you walk, does it just go, pa-doom, pa-doom, bouncing on your leg? It can, only mine goes, boom. Because it bounces off of one side and goes back to the other. So mine's going, put your hand here. No, put it like this. So mine is like paying patty cake.
Speaker2: Now, you've got to start your ear like this. If you're just listening, you've got to watch the YouTube. Because you're an example.
Speaker1: If my dick was, if I had both balls, it would be going,
Speaker2: and it would be down here going, boom. But because I only have one, it still stays tall. Now, maybe when I'm 80, it'll be down here going, boom,um. You see what I'm saying? My nuts, and these are, this is my thighs. Patty cake, patty cake, nut and ball. Make me a baby as fast as you can. I don't know what it is, but just saying, it bounces out like that. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Look, as a guy. You're fucking loopy. No wonder everybody thinks you're on Coke or something look i'm telling you i can't i can't help that my anatomy is different everybody's anatomy is different all i can say if i was ever going to put like a prosthetic in is that is that um with any like they would be properly mounted balanced and weighted i guess they'd have to probably if they couldn't put it weighted right just like they do a tire they would have to install like a little piece of metal on the outside of that one side of my sack so it balanced right you don't want to run weird or otherwise your nutsack's gonna wear wrong nobody wants to have up there go oh hey i'm throwing a rod in my nut sack i need a new nut sack just saying this is all very real shit oh i know what the health tip of the day can be when you shoot somebody in the ass with a needle make sure that when you what you're supposed to use for a wipe to clean the spot first is alcohol rubbing alcohol you it on the spot, let it dry so it's sterile, stick the needle on the spot. Or you could take fingernail polish remover because it's in a similar bottle two times in a row, rub it on your ass, stick the needle in, and it burns like a motherfucker. So make sure you're checking what you're rubbing on your ass before you get poked with a needle. Oh, my God. These are all important things that we do and talk about. I seriously did that? Not just once. Not just one week. It wasn't until one kid goes, hey, can you go get me the rubbing alcohol? And I'm like, oh, what's in the back? Oh, well, what's... Oh.
Speaker3: Amanda's been using acetone.
Speaker1: It burns. Just saying.
Speaker3: At least I only did it two weeks in a row. Is that enough for one month?
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Every other week. And yes, Victoria's Secret does need a one-nut wardrobe. I'm just saying. Hey, Nets. Just saying. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So there's a health tip. Don't use that. Don't. Now, here's what's exciting. So as we're finishing up this season from hell, it just won't stop. Probably the show, starting in 2023, is going to have a whole new look. We're probably going to do a complete and total redesign of the show. I'm actually thinking about doing, like, call-in and shit.
Speaker2: We're going to probably do a complete redesign of the show. I think people are bored with us talking.
Speaker3: I find it hard to believe, but I think they are.
Speaker1: Don't look so shocked. I thought we'd have medical professionals come in.
Speaker2: Thank you. with us talking i find it hard to believe but i think they are don't look so shocked nah i thought we'd have medical professionals come in tell them what you're doing on saturday friday what am i doing on friday what are you doing friday well i'll probably take you to work oh i don't take you to work friday night i don't take you to work so i don't get to jack up when friday night what's going on friday night oh friday night i'm doing a santa thing that's right two two santa things that's right i'm doing um first i'm going to a lexus christmas party apparently i don't know if i get to drive in on a lexus no one's talked about what car i get yeah i don't know how we're gonna i don't know how that works anyways uh but uh i'm still going to a christmas party and then i'm going out to a strip club so then i have from uh from uh so if you come out to the strip club yeah well i'm hoping to get you on the up on the dance floor maybe you can make some money i'll pay for some shit just saying so um yeah so the so we got two hours at the strip club with the what the santa suit on i don't know if it's to bring your kids to the to work day i have no idea this probably probably like a Christmas party like what we used to have. Well, no, because they're going to be open. No, but ours was open. They just shut down the showroom floor. No, when you work there. Well, you're talking about the car dealership. I'm talking about the strip club. No, I think it's going to be open. I think it's just going to be all kinds of naughty. They're going to be open until 3. Yeah. So you can come and sit on Santa's lap. Slide down his candy cane, his pole, if you will, his peppermint pole. There's going to be two Santas at our event on Saturday. So I will probably be there for a little while. I'm not going to compete because the other dude, he, he, his. He's got the Santa look down. He's, he's, yeah. I mean, he's got me by like probably 10 years, maybe a little more than that actually. So probably about 15 years and, and his, he's got a big old fucking beard. So, I mean, I'll be there, but it's like, it's like a, you know, a proxy. i mean because look you gotta know you you gotta know when you're out sanded you know because i mean he's got like his beard's like fucking long and white and white yeah exactly yeah he's got both balls so i'm sure they hang like you don't know that no why did he tell you that he had red balls? Yeah, we've talked about that. We've talked about nuts before. We get a nut discussion.
Speaker1: Well, it happens. You guys talk about bras.
Speaker2: If somebody had a third nipple,
Speaker1: if one woman had a third boob and one woman had a third boob at an event, it would be the type of conversation because you guys were talking about things like, you know, where do you get a bra to fit that one? Did you make your own? Did you just have a hat?
Speaker2: So it's the same thing with nuts just saying okay you have all kinds of comments oh we do well you gotta help me out with this santa strip off ricky's got it right no no yeah because i'm gonna tell you what you want to know what's sexy when i take off my santa? Me getting in the shower. Yeah, that's what's sexy. Because there's nothing better than licking some magic Santa sweat off of his tip of his ball sack after he's been in that fucking outfit. We can actually, yeah, I will have my Santa suit on. Because there are a lot of people that want some pictures of me, too. So I will have my Santa suit on. But, you know, mean you know it is what it is yeah putting your clothes back on yes ricky that is a sexy party so that's yeah just saying so okay so let's talk about this with these events so because we did something stupid no we did something totally new we did something totally new for us well willing to change and, like, try new shit and grow and do shit that we don't normally do. And so the event this last Saturday and the event coming up this Saturday are so far out of our fucking wheelhouse. Yeah, but it was fun. It was fun. But, okay, you have to keep in mind, we never put on a house party before.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: So all we've ever done is put on big events that has lots of, like, buzzers and bells and whistles and shiny things and shit to keep people occupied. So all of a sudden, when you do one where it's like, this hotel does not have a conference room.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: So there is no, I mean, the radio, for the right fee i can can't stand a control of kwn uh so this one the the music was bluetooth speakers you know on people's phones it was just like it was it was the equivalent of a house party with a pool and 60 rooms i mean that's how you put it it's a mega mansion right there in theory so so but but so i mean but that's what it was but what made it weird for us because when you don't have anything to distract okay at house party usually most everybody knows everybody that's not how this was so we had people we had people from the first house party we went to we didn't know anybody well we were new i'm just saying overall i'm just kind of trying to paint that i know i'm being a smart ass but so we had people from iowa we had people from uh south go to we had people from nebraska we had people you know we had people from all over the place so what was cool was is to watch people like at first it was kind of like just millen there's this that initial like uh how do we kind of get this started because nudity was a lot everywhere but we're all kind of in the in the lobby area of the hotel because like a breakfast area and stuff and it was like how do we start this party and it's really kind of funny because it was kind of like awkward so cold cold turner is old reliable everybody go get your liquor and let's have a shot that was like that was like the best way to start but it was really cool i'll still dress up like an elf just so you know oh yeah so it was it was very cool to fucking then people like people just kind of took it on themselves you know you started people started talking and chatting and it it it grew it was for me it was nerve-wracking as fucking hell it was horrible i mean for me it's horrible stressful because i always want people to have fun and so like if you come to one of our events and we've got a million things
Speaker2: I don't know. it was nerve-wracking as fucking hell it was horrible i mean for me it's horrible stressful
Speaker1: because i always want people to have fun and so like if you come to one of our events and we've got a million things going on i'm gonna be like terrified that you know did you have fun so when there's nothing to distract people i'm really losing my fucking mind right and uh uh and people had fun it was really cool to it was really cool to to watch it kind of just morph as it as it went on it went on its way a little bit but one thing you could tell because okay it's that whole concept it's new to us so like you could sense the i don't know not tension what am i looking for looking for? Help me out here. Say something other than just, uh, mm-hmm, and yes. I don't know what you're going for. The feeling in the air. The feeling, it was just, there was like a nervous vibe at the beginning. Yeah, it was more, well, from you. Yep, it was just me. I at beginning yeah it was more well from you yep i don't think it i don't think it was that i'm no i don't think it was more of a you know initial meeting people and what do you say to them and stuff like that yeah but i think once people loosened up and started drinking enough real selves show versus who they're trying to feel like they need to portray. Yeah. Well, I think it just, it's that whole concept. I think once we got the lap dances going for the bride and groom, then the party kind of took a turn. Once people started drinking, got a couple of drinks. I don't mean like stupid drunk because no one got out of control drunk just a couple of cocktails in them and then and then at one point in time that it was pretty jammed in there and everybody and then then also you started seeing people were headed to the pool and and other places and and then it really it just kind of you know what was cool about it was to watch how it carried itself, which honestly, that's what a party should do. Like an event really should carry. I mean, that's testament to all the people at the event because everybody could have. You had a choice to make. You could choose to not interact and or you could choose to meet new people. Because the one thing we heard consistently was everybody talking about wow i really met some new people okay that's awesome it was like that was the best part of that whole thing um you can read that one i don't know how many times cole asked do you think people are having fun i was a little paranoid yeah he was like uber. I don't think they're having fun. Nobody's having fun. I don't think they're having fun. Shut up. And I'm going to tell you right now, guess what? I'm going to do the exact same thing this Saturday. The exact same thing. And this is why Amanda's not going to her work party. Oh, fuck. Shut up. What would you rather have? Would you rather have someone who gives a shit if you have fun or not?
Speaker2: Well, no.
Speaker3: You should make sure that people have fun.
Speaker1: Well, because if someone goes, eh, what am I going to do? Make them laugh. See, this is the part of this that we always leave out when we talk about Cole's panic attack with this shit. Is that the reason so many people have pictures of straws up my nose. a minute pause oh god because he mentioned something oh fuck what's cole's panic attack like it's calm and relaxing anyway we'll talk about that was that was a different day i'm just saying the reason everybody has pictures of Cole with straws up his nose is because if people aren't having fun, it drives me insane. So the reason I'm constantly badgering, hounding, and whatever is if you're not having fun, or if I don't believe you when you say you are having fun, then instead of just going, oh, well, tough shit, fuck you, then I'm'm gonna do something to make sure that you're having fun that's how i end up with shit like my hair in a french braid yeah that's how we came up with the concept we're gonna have 2023 will be casband movie nights because all these people do not have watched near the movies they need to this is that this is all these are all things that have are important things that have come up.
Speaker3: It's okay.
Speaker2: Sounds like it worked.
Speaker1: Keep this one simple and let it grow naturally.
Speaker2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker3: Maybe.
Speaker2: No, we learned a little bit. We learned.
Speaker1: I will have name tags this Saturday.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker3: What are you going to stick to? Well, initially, everybody doesn't just walk in and okay chris he was okay some yes but here's the thing you you don't want to scare new people because we that was the other cool thing we had we had people that we've known for a fucking decade there that have been a lifestyle that long plus and and longer and with people that was their very first event that's a huge odd mix in a tight in a tight small setting like that but i think the smaller probably worked out better though well it does but i mean that's why initially yes we have name tags initially okay here's something interesting what's that um okay so alex says i think once it really sank in for everyone that we really had the whole place to ourselves that helped people blossom or loosen up and have fun. I can't read that for you.
Speaker1: No, that makes sense. I think because we've all had every hotel event we've all ever been to, even our crazy winter nights, the hotels have contracts with X number of rooms, and this one is we have the entire hotel we put every single room in our name what the contract actually says run of house is what it says so yeah so i mean no but i think I think that when they saw it, no, there wasn't going to be anybody else.
Speaker3: So then you talk to, okay, so the GM is lifestyle, right? So we're talking about different type of stuff. And then they had another gal work in the front counter, and that was...
Speaker1: Yeah, she's not lifestyle who wants to be.
Speaker3: She's not lifestyle technically, but pretty much, yeah. Hey, here's what lifestyle who wants to be. She's not lifestyle technically, but pretty much, yeah.
Speaker1: Hey, here's what was really cool to hear. And this is why, okay, so everybody talks about why we preach about a lot of shit we do. When we walked out of there, a swinger party, a whole lot of people got fucking laid. A whole lot of people were fucking butt-ass naked, a lot of booze consumed consumed no issues to a typical party with our type of shit right and you had the hotel staff going oh my god you guys are so much better than any of the college parties the weddings the any of the other events that is huge even though everybody's so fun no one was oh my god we got to be walking on eggshells everybody there it was be cool everybody was that says a ton you know what else i can't see that far uh like there wasn't any worry about running into vanillas um like has happened at other things absolutely one of the of the other things is the hotel. Now, see, this is the other part why it's so important to work with these hotels and to be honest with them. They locked the hotel down at 9. They had signs up even before then that said hotel closed for a private event. Their staff knew what was going on. Like, they made sure they had staff that was cool with what was going on. They had the hotel. They went out of their way to accommodate us in terms of, like, they knew we were going to have snacks, so they cleared off all the breakfast counters for us to be able to sprawl stuff out. Even made scotch-a-roo's. scotch-a-roo's for i mean yeah yeah made treats for us to have and i'm like wow they were like okay so they had water they had ice and water okay so most time most hotels we know how this goes you know you have the little water thing in the lobby when it's out they don't really care you can't get them to stay on top of it the water was never empty the ice wasn't it was always completely full ice and the completely full water they were checking it all the time the pool they were making rounds every hour to make sure that they if there needed to be fresh towels in the pool they actually did laundry they were doing laundry so that they made sure there was fresh towels in the fucking pool we couldn't have dreamed they would be as accommodating as they were um and then uh the staff was awesome they really took care of us yeah and then still next morning, even though we were a special event, they have a good hot breakfast. Next morning, hot breakfast. We were like, okay, we'll start taking the window stuff down. They're like, because we had wallpaper. We didn't wallpaper shit. We blocked all the windows. And they they were like don't worry about it we got that you know they were gives us something to do i'm like okay if you really want to when we started on before it started on saturday like what they want to know was what our plan was so like which side do you want what doors do you want locked what doors you want open for smokers how can we help you that was so fucking cool and that's part of this like if you're honest with hotels this white pisses me off when fucking event planners fuck and piss off hotels if you're cool with them they win we win everybody wins so it'll be interesting this saturday what'll be unique is it's a different of people. It's a different group of people. So for us, again, this is new. Doing small events like this, I can see why this is a lot of fun. It's very stressful for me right now. It's very stressful. Wait. What? The other thing that sucks. So to go back. So this is the other thing that was like shitty, but we had to do it. We had to be secretive about, and we're still being secretive, about the hotel because we have fucking asshole dickhead haters that try to fuck us because they can't understand the value of the lifestyle. So because of our big events, we don't have to do that. Our big national events, we do that and and that like i think that kind of freaked people out i'll be interested to hear what people think of it how how much of it from some of the people that are regulars that go to all of our shit how big of a deal really was it that we had to keep it on the dl because you know i mean after saturday we won't you know they only have one person that justifiably questioned it yes which hotel because they have family that works at a hotel in lincoln right so i understand that right but otherwise but you know we're not going to lead you astray we're not going to be mean yeah i can't read that far away we need we need bigger screens
Speaker3: uh-huh for me it had the feel like of like a really big house party except instead of the living room we had the lobby area and instead of bedrooms slash spare rooms we all had our own room
Speaker1: but still smaller and intimate yeah yeah and that that's that's cool okay and see this is where like We'll be right back. We all had our own room, but still smaller and intimate. Yeah, yeah, and that's cool. Okay, and see, this is where it wasn't a big deal at all. We go to your events and a lot of others. It sucks that we have to be, but I said this in my rant. We are in Nebraska. There are three hotels in the fucking state. Three in the state. And now this is one of those three that will talk to lifestyle people. So it's so important that that's why we had, that's why we're having to be. Well, four, but we got chased out of it because of the city. Yeah, we got chased out of it because of the city. So, I mean, it's, you know, to find them, this is why it's so important to like you know nurture these relationships you know the other thing that was cool was to be able to do a free event yes there's the cost of the room but we're trying to help we're trying to help the hotel to be able to do a cool and a christmas event that's free it's cooler if we sell all the rooms and we don't we don't pay for half So that's where, and don't take, well, I don't take offense to it if you want to. I really don't give two flying fucks. But we had a couple of people go, well, I think I'm just going to swing by. A, we didn't tell you where it was at. And no, you're not going to just swing by. People paid for their hotel rooms to be able to party here. And you're not going to just get in just to sit here and just occupy space and make it more stress for us it's it's a cool it's not fair to everybody else that followed the rules right it sucks i know that everybody goes well lifestyle rules but you it's like relationship rules you have to have some like to make sure everybody has a good time it just goes with the fucking territory i don't know it's not that fucking difficult and if if we do that kind of shit if we do the shit right then you have hotels that have no issues i was waiting for the corporate hotel chain to call me today they didn't here's what that means that means they got a good report i've worked with hotels now you want to corporate people to return your call fast on a hotel fuck shit up because those motherfuckers will be up your ass in no time but there was no trash all over the fucking place there was no cigarette butts all over we walked the halls a couple of times but at one point we were done like no i think i think we picked up one can out of the pool not in the pool but sitting on it sitting on a stand we picked up around the pool and picked up some towels and put it that was it which again is a fucking kudos to everybody else it just shows that you can do this and that's the hotel was like fuck this is like holy shit and it's not the first time we've heard this we heard this for kwn for years and years our shit the the events are better lifestyle events are better than wedding receptions which they should be you're not there to fight you're there to fuck for fuck's sakes how hard is this good lord just saying i don't know so we're excited we'll have to see how this works but a lot of people going hey you know when are we gonna do another small one after this i don't know we have to process this a little bit yeah i mean it's look the goal ultimately is get to do one of these where where we don't what i'm pondering and who we'll have to see what state events are going on because they always have them in lincoln yeah no shit um so hotels sell out really quick but i'm thinking if there was a way that our birthday bash that we could get that hotel and just carry it from there to the hotel and people can still have fun yeah that would be yeah that that would be bad i don't know yeah and that'll be stuff we'll talk to you it's we just have to find the thing is is the part that's most exciting is that we we we did a different type of party we have some plans for 2023 and 24 of some different things we would like to try look it's scary as fuck to try a new event because when you go to do put a new event you have no fucking idea if this is gonna bomb and you're gonna be like everything like that was the dumbest thing i've ever been a part of and like that's terrifying you want to avoid that like the plague so i mean 2023 where we have two crazy summer nights that in of itself is like scary yeah so i mean that's like but we want to keep making things different if you make things different and keep it exciting then fucking rock on but it's got and exciting. So I don't know. What will be interesting to see is how people, because a couple new people were there, that was their first CASMA event. They're also going to crazy winter nights. So you're talking about complete opposite ends of the spectrum? Yeah, it's going to be a little bit different. I mean, it's going to be just a scotch different. So I don't know.. I'm excited this week. We've got some people coming up from Kansas. Some of our friends we've got from a kinky frame of mind. And sinful ladies are going to be up there. So, it's going to be shenanigans. Game on! I want him to bring rope. So, we'll do Lex and Shabari. Well, jackass. Well, maybe he doesn't want to work. Well, that shouldn't be work if you enjoy doing it. Wow. You know, enjoy cooking It doesn't mean you're like Hey, let's stop I love cooking I just get really fat from it No, you love baking You love to bake more than you love to cook Well But I stayed home You don't want to just do it all the time Just for like, you know This will be fun, yay Maybe he wants to go laid he doesn't want to like try to fucking tie you up at the same time yeah true well i mean i don't know how that works i don't either is then do you become like a turkey gobble gobble stuff type legs here we go stuff Sometimes The way his mind thinks If we take him Ty out and hang out There we go. Stuff. Sometimes the way his mind thinks scares the fuck out of me. What we need to do is tie that in with whenever you have your gangbang. Then you can relax your legs and just lay there and get fucking. The GM, she goes, ooh, I love Shabari. And I'm like, okay. We'll get you on our side.
Speaker3: She's been added to the page. Of course, her mom's on it. I'm like, you don't have a problem coming on her page and your mom's on it. No, no problem at all.
Speaker1: If you come on down, you'll get to see the GM tied up.
Speaker2: Just saying.
Speaker1: Please don't let eight-quarter people show up. Where's my GM? Room 127.
Speaker3: She's a little occupied at this moment.
Speaker1: Just saying. No. It's a good time. So, good time will be had by all.
Speaker2: I don't want that you have makeup on your head? No, it was rubbing the side of my face because it was so big. Oh. I'm just saying, anyways. It's cold in here. We'll put the hat on. It's not fucking cold. I'm sweating like a stuck pig in this room. I think it's cold. Okay. Ouch. My shoulder bopped. Oh, so do you want to give them an update on your sleep study? So apparently, girls, get ready. My penis is going to be on fire. We got my actual results. So apparently, I only breathe like eight minutes an hour. That's what we basically figured out. So like 70 minutes an hour that's what we basically figured out so i didn't so like like 70 times an hour i quit breathing for at least 10 seconds or more so i don't know apparently so yes so i'm gonna be like his oxygen drops because somebody on saturday said well what is your oxygen drop to you know mine drops to like 50 something i'm like oh my gosh i don't know well his lowest was 46 percent i'm like oh dude you're suffocating your organs so apparently my penis when i get this fucking machine is gonna be like fucking so they want you so where i was going it was they want you to come back and do it again and in the in the hospital i'm gonna be chasing there i'm gonna so you know they can go in and give him oxygen when he needs it so i don't die so i don't die so yeah so it is very serious but i laugh because wow here's what i want to know and this is a serious question so you know we're gonna go to work crazy water nights for example right because we'll be there for a couple of days. We'd have the oxygen machine, so I'd breathe at night, and I'm well-rested. If I'm fucking a girl, do I go ahead and put the oxygen on so it just helps the stamina so I don't get gas? Well, seriously, think about this for a minute. No, because by crazy winter nights, you'll have all the energy because you're... Right, but if I'm running a marathon and I'm running with an oxygen, so I'm constantly getting fresh air, won't that help? That's not how it works. I mean, it probably won't be super sexy when she's strapping my mask on. That's not how it works. But logically, that makes sense, though. Think this through for just a minute. That's not how it works. Do you know how many times I'm going to ask a hot nurse to go, hey, I just got this this can you help me hook this up just give me an art room just saying i i mean maybe like they're fucking bane or something from batman i'm just saying to me it would make sense why they're not sure what machine you should get yeah and it's going you only need it when you're sleeping right i know i only need it sleeping, but like football players that are in shape. Well, we don't know if you need a CPAP or a BiPAP. I'm like, there's a thing. Okay, wait a minute. Can we go back to this important question here? Athletes, they sprint down a football field, and you see them on the side and suck in oxygen. They're in shape. So if I'm not in shape, just because I'm getting air. Not if they ran a long distance. They're not used to running long distance. They've just sprinted down the field, and they come back off, and they put on an oximatic. They're getting some air. And they're in shape. I'm not in shape. So if I put it on when I'm doing exercise, it stands to reason in my logic that that would mean I could go better, longer. I would be like almost bionic. I'll give you an inhaler to take, and that'll help you breathe better. Yeah, but wouldn't it be better if it's constant? If I tape it? No. Inhalers aren't for immediate things. I don't think we're on the same page with all the benefits. Look, here my thing i just want to get all of the medical benefits when i run a half marathon i take the inhaler first my hand is like it doesn't work that way idiot did you hear she was stabbing me with the wrong shit angela you told angela on saturday yeah because i told she'd give she'd give at you yeah no She thought it was funny. She thought it was funny and said, I bet you that burned. The thing is, look, all I want to do is I want to make sure that I get... All I want to do. No, you don't... Lyrics. I just want to make sure that I get the maximum medical benefits of a machine. You will. It's called oxygen to your body and your organs won't know what the fuck to do because it's been lacking it for so long right i understand did you die no i did not die but the thing is i'm just saying maybe there's some hidden look viagra was like created for a heart med and all of a sudden somebody got a boner well that's awesome so maybe someone hasn't thought to do this before maybe just maybe if i fuck with one of these machines on i would be breaking new scientific ground what if they would name what if i had a wait pause no shut you pause what if i had a famous nut a famous nut and a breathing apparatus okay but also think about this the doctor wanted me to take this blood pressure medication because it reduces the hair on your body right and and i want to get the fucking so maybe it won't work that way maybe you have this grand illusion this oxygen is going to just make you be able to to function or whatever well maybe it'll do just the opposite you don't know or maybe it'll like make your finger go oh if the oxygen makes me tired that's gonna be a problem then i think i have it on reverse then i'm just like you're just aggravating the crap out of angel even though you're just fucking around and being a smart ass no or trying to be funny no i look i'm gonna try all kinds of shit i don't fucking care i'm gonna try it all right just snort coke while you're at it hey you know damn good well it'd be kind of funny you know the kids think it'd be funny like sneak nitrous in there sometimes i'd be like that'd be snoring but it'd be like so in the moisture container do we put some uh like red or something in it to help you out nitrous so that i'm snoring what if it makes you impotent then how funny will it be how would that be much different than where we're at now i'm just saying maybe that's lack of oxygen hey so last night i was actually i was actually um talking to my mom about it because yeah i didn't really want to talk to her anyway so i was like like, whatever, here, I'll just give you this useless shit. And so I was talking about the whole estrogen thing and that I want to get tested for estrogen, you know, and I'm like, you know, because there's just times I'll say to Amanda, I swear to God, I'm having my period, you know. And my mom's like, you know, that's horrible. I don't, you know, that's a horrible thing in what women go through. I'm like, hey, look, I didn't say my dick was bleeding. I just said I was an emotional wreck. You did not. Yeah, I did. And mom's like, oh, well, that's true. And then she goes, since she said, because she was trying to have all the answers, right? And she's like, I'm like, so maybe, you know, what I might need is some estrogen blockers because I know other people that's worked for. She goes, well, won't risk for breast cancer because men can get breast cancer too i'm like no because that would be taking what you're thinking of their science bear princess is that taking estrogen can cause stuff not blocking it i don't know because i've never looked it up yeah but i i doubt it would cause it i yeah no no but i don't know it would cause me not to want to watch a hallmark movie and cry for no reason and eat chocolate in the middle afternoon probably but other than that you know i mean i don't think blocking the estrogen is going to make my boobs grow maybe the other way around maybe when i'm not having a period i won't want to eat chocolate and get fatter and my boobs won't grow you stress eat that's a totally different thing i do not stress eat you are so full of shit i'm an emotional eater and i would ask you kindly you are a stress eater no you're a stress eater so what are you saying that when you stress out you eat i know when you two weeks that I've been stress eating? I'm 383 pounds right now. No, you're not. There was a couple times I knew you were stressed out when you'd gone to the cupboard, and then you walked away, and 10 minutes later you come back to the cupboard, you open it up, you're looking at it, then you walk away, and then you come back and look at it. I'm like, somebody's stressing But I didn't actually Eat anything I just browsed I stress shopped I was shopping In the cupboard for later Of course Sebastian Left his He bought Oriental food And left his Fried rice Fried rice I know there's something else Because there's meat in it On the table It was beef fried rice At midnight I walked out there And I was like Ooh fried rice And then I was like I found At midnight I found a meaty snack at the bottom like oh okay yeah i wasn't stressed i was i was i didn't have time to start a movie so i was just you know you could have you could just fallen asleep sitting up you tend to sleep better that way well i could have taken a my doll and my life might have been all the way around but it didn't and it wasn't just saying i'm excited for that part these are all things we're going to find and figure out in 2023 are cole's boobs from fat or are they from too much too much estrogen they don't have boobs no i don't i have a man bod with pointy nipples wow that's awesome yeah the kids would just tell me that you know you know Your arms are so much smaller than they used to be You don't have any muscle mass in your arms I don't think they're any different than they have been before What's that tell you? That tells you you're not paying much attention to my arms anymore Whose arms are around your head all the'm trying to pay attention to mine what develop my arms no you can't your boobs will go away they're still here they're smaller they're sneaking well that's because i lost 40 pounds but that's beside the point maybe if we put the oxygen on your nipples we can pump those pump them up doesn't work that way they're pumpkin you guys are all you don't know till you try you have to try this kind of shit i'm telling you it's we'll start off with you sleeping better here's what's gonna be really funny everybody that makes the assumption there's like a bet going on our house how long i'm gonna sleep and i'm watch what will happen i't do a damn thing on how much I sleep. I'll probably sleep better, but I still won't need more than three hours of sleep. You are so full of sleep. By the way, your sleep study that you did, you slept a total of 319 minutes. Yeah, and how much is that? I don't know. That's like six hours. No, it's not. Well, that's not six hours.
Speaker1: Well, 60 minutes is an hour. So 60 and 60 is 120. 60 and 60 is another 120. That's 240.
Speaker2: So 60 and 60 is another 120.
Speaker1: That's 360.
Speaker3: And how many did I do?
Speaker2: So somehow you managed to sleep five hours. You didn't go to bed. You weren want to sleep for five hours unless i passed out and didn't know it at the counter which very well could have happened it could have here's here's the thing i'm just thinking that i don't think i'm going to five hours and 19 minutes see here's the thing i don't you don't sleep that long ever i don't need if i sleep better if the quality of my sleep goes up and I do, and I function on three hours of sleep with shitty quality of sleep, I'm not going to need 12 hours a night. I'm just going to need three hours where I actually breathe the whole fucking time where I'm not waterboarding myself. Your body will want to make up for it. I suppose. I don't know. I'm just saying it is what it it is. So, I don't know. We'll see. All right.
Speaker1: We'll keep you up to date because I'm sure everybody cares about this. They're like, Swinger Pikes, all they talk about is their fucking sleep apnea and stuff.
Speaker3: No, it's funny.
Speaker1: You're next.
Speaker3: Health is funny. Bring it on.
Speaker1: Sorry, Miss Marathon runner.
Speaker2: Never mind.
Speaker3: Miss Marathon runner that has to go back to the cardiologist.
Speaker1: Oh, shit.
Speaker2: Anyways.
Speaker1: All right, kids. Well, with that being said, hey, don't forget. Sign up for Crazy Winter Nights, www.w-w-w- Shit's going fast, kids. It is what it is. Hurry. Sign up immediately. Don't forget ASN Lifestyle Magazine, shamelesscare.com, and nightcaps.com. We appreciate all of our sponsors. Also, this holiday season, there's still time for the Holiday Santa Rental. If you'd like to do a Zoom call for your kids, we won't say that you're a swinger or where you found us, but holidaysantarental.com. Check it out today. And you can follow us on Twitter at TruthCrazy. What? I was reading. Do you ever read, like, all the notes and shit? I was reading. Oh, comments. Okay. So, anyways, you can follow us on Twitter at TruthCrazy. Also, you can send us emails at crazy.casma at gmail.com. Do you know how fitting crazy is? What? Do you know how fitting crazy is? What do you mean? because you're fucking insane i'm not crazy i'm i'm a fucking beacon of fucking sanity and rational discussion you'll ever fucking find here's the thing this is guys i've seen how you got now fuck now we're going on this tangent i don't care we're not stopping now here's the reality you have two minutes bull fucking shit an hour or a minute and a half here's one here's the reality of this shit You have two minutes. A bowl of fucking shit. An hour or a minute and a half. Come on, pick him. Here's the reality of this shit. The reality of this shit is that I'm just a little further ahead than some people. I've evolved on a different level. It seems nutty, but in 10 years from now, everybody's going to catch up. They're like, fuck, that dude had his shit together. That's what it is. So as much as you want to think I'm a nut job, okay, this is a nut job with a fucking purpose. He had his shit together. Who are you fooling? Seriously? You have his shit together? You know, they said Einstein was insane. They said Henry Ford was an idiot. All these people, really? I'm just, I am a few steps on a different path. It just so happens that here's the trail and I'm like sneaking through the trees. Sneak. I just find my own way, and that's where the better berries are, and the fruits, and all the fucking snacks. Seriously, all the good shit. Look, all the main trail, all the shit's picked over. It's greasy fast food places with dirty bathrooms, where you don't touch anything because you'll get shit on your hands. Or you can this cool path over here and here's this glimmering pool and stream and fucking fresh water and fruits and all this shit and it allows you to fucking evolve into this magical fucking unicorn utopian sort of vision that's where i'm at i want everybody to come along i keep going hey over here over here but you all have your fucking ear pods in it you don't hear me when I honk the horn So I look like an idiot yelling at my doctor's office Yelling, Amanda! I look like Rocky on fucking crack I can't fucking help it You'll just take your ear pods off and follow the fucking horn We'll get you to the magic kingdom I am Walt Disney, there is a fucking Disney world And it's me, follow me Just saying. You done? Maybe.
Speaker2: Finish it up.
Speaker1: I was being a smart one. Doing it the only way I know how. The only way I want to. And the only way I ever motherfucking will. With a little bit of more magic powder for Santa Claus. Cannabis style.
Speaker2: Out. Bye.