Krazy Truth #233 oh Shit I know you

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm the host for the most, I'm Cole, and I'm i'm here with the lovely lovely and still fighting against the wind to catch your sleep miss amanda you're loopy i'm not loopy you're supposed to say hey hey you're loopy i'm not loopy you're loopy i'm not loopy anyways we're here to tantalate and titillate that's what we do twice and you screamed that one night too so worked its well out so yeah we got all kinds of shit to fucking talk about We got oogles and oogles and oogles of shit But for those of you who follow along at home That want to get the important business stuff out of the way First and foremost Because that's what we're doing All business brass tacks bitches Who can tell me what season it is I've got one cunt nugget that's right it's season 5 bitches episode 233 for the kids in the back 233 can't wait to get some niners I miss niners anywho and we have sponsors we sure do do you know our are our sponsors? Okay, great. But we know it is in Lifestyle Magazine. We do. Three million readers. Three million readers. Can't be wrong. Make it a habit to read your edition each month. You want to read this? It just came out. Yeah, you want to read this one. The article, the episode, no. The edition that just came out is really, really fucking badass. What's funny is that's a porn star that you're going to actually hook up with. The one that's on the cover? Yeah, the one that's on the cover. But it's his life story. And here's the thing. He talks everything in there from, he was a big-time star on soap operas and before he got into the adult world and the whole nine yards. It's a really good article. I'll have to actually, like, be in tune and read it. Yeah, you want to check that one out. My phone was acting up when I was trying to flip through pages and stuff. Yeah, but this is a cool one. And it's him telling his life story, which is very awesome. Also, shamelesscare.com, a company for swingers, by swingers, to be used by swingers, whether it be an ED trial or whether it be your personal testing. Quit looking at my fucking hairs. Or your personal testing. Make sure you go there. ShandlessCare.com. Don't forget to use coupon code KK50 so they know that Casbah came. The next one. Go ahead. You're up.
Speaker2: No, you have these. You're up. Use the
Speaker1: other fucking sponsor. Was it Nightcaps? Is that what we're doing? Fuck. Jesus. It's a drink prevention scrunchie. We're very proud to be associated with Nightcaps.com because safety is a huge priority to us. Yes, it is. Absolutely. And don't forget that you can go and use the promo code Nightcap10-CASBank and get your discount. Don't leave your safety up to someone else. And finally, our newest sponsor, because it is the holiday season, we're very excited to have them and want to say welcome aboard, HolidaySantaRental.com. Check it out today, HolidaySantaRental.com. That's right, you can get Santa not only for your traditional Santa needs, Zoom calls all over the country, company visits, office parties, and more, as well as adult and dirty things also that's a possibility you slut holiday santa rental.com check it out today it's not me it's santa bitch anyways so there you go uh okay i can't really call him a slut so i'll call you a so uh we we we have been on the road we've traveled like motherfuckers this week right We made a trip down to Gulfport, Mississippi. And here is something very, very important that happened. It's exceedingly humid in Gulfport, Mississippi. And my hair, I look like Brian May from fucking Queen. My hair fucking kinked the fuck up. That was funny. I grew up with it. Yeah, but when I had long down i don't it didn't kink up like that because you put shit in it you didn't push it in it i had so much yeah i didn't have anything in my hair but seriously my hair just fucking uh it looked like it was seven inches tall and just a giant curl it wasn't that bad it was just like wow i couldn't hit on anybody because i looked like a fucking complete you wanted to pick the chick up at waffle house i did i did except my hair except shit i didn't have balls because i'm like i look like a total tool so i'm not gonna ask and she was in because she asked me about my nails that doesn't mean she's in if she says do you paint your nails that's really like that your nails i got every day or just for Halloween? And you said every day.
Speaker2: And she goes, oh, cool. That isn't assuming.
Speaker1: I think the neck tattoo, she wouldn't have been shocked. She wouldn't have been like, hey, we're swimming. I don't think that would have been like, oh, my God, you're what? I don't think that's how that would happen at all. So I'm just saying. The cool kids are sending us dirty pictures.
Speaker3: I like that.
Speaker1: So it's just one of those things It's like okay so just saying You know I don't know But I didn't ask because my hair looked like shit And I was like no I just didn't have courage Plus it didn't matter because you had already cursed us
Speaker2: What the fuck did I Oh because I shaved
Speaker1: Look we have this thing If we're going to go to a party or go to an event And a man is like oh I need to shave up So it's all nice and smooth and slickery I'll see you next time. Oh, because I shaved. You shaved. Look, we have this thing. Here's the deal. If we're going to go to a party or go to an event and a man is like, oh, I need to shave up so it's all nice and smooth and slickery, that is the guarantee that no one is going to come anywhere close to our junk. And so we're down in a place where she doesn't know anybody. Don't know anybody. I graduated down there. Okay, 50 years ago, but the eyes of fucking somebody from your class are slim to none you shave up and then of course we get no hits so after on our way back then people go hey are you what are you doing next weekend we're gonna be in the brown coming back yeah no shit so you know but no your dad's good so everything's good but we didn't get fucked and i haven't put out there i put some very you are hitting on nurses oh it's all over nurses so is my dad but that's the point he just didn't know that the difference was he was doing it for fun and i was doing it for fucking hopes uh the thing is is i put such a cryptic message on um uh on on a website that we're on i put we're looking for southern dick and pussy. We're going to be in town for one weekend only. So I was pretty cryptic about that. Just saying. Whatever. Anyways. But we're back. We're ready to roll. We've got weddings. We've got all kinds of shit going on next week. And we're're we're shit's gonna it's it's we're getting close close so i'm more like 70 days away from crazy winter nights we have got all kinds of shit going on we got the santa gig going we got all kinds of shit so it's gonna get fucking super stupid crazy we've got meet and greets coming we got a wedding we got a meet and greet we've got we got all kinds of shit we're gonna be busy kids we're gonna run around and apparently we're both gonna have to look like jungle people so we can actually get laid i don't know we can't ever shave again or something but maybe we see on monday then it wears it off or something no because taking testosterone it goes a lot faster okay we're fucking up for the rest of us anyways uh so yeah and tomorrow's my shot's my shot. There you go. And I have shitty needles. I have shitty fucking needles. I told you to go get some new ones. Well, I haven't had a chance yet because it's like shoving a blunt stick in my ass. It's awesome. It's great. Yeah, so there you go. If you're going to do testosterone shots, make sure you have good needles. So, okay, so we've got. He's just a bus. It's all that matters. I'll give you a fucking shot. I have cream. You use the cream. I'll take the shot. No, it's my shot. It's my fucking... I need it more than you do. Okay. We can hook a garden hose up and just fucking hose you down and you'll be ready to go-ish. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how... I need the shot. I need the shot. Okay. Is it for a week i need the shot i need the shot okay so okay so you got you know they some people prefer roadhead and protein to stay awake while driving yeah well on the way back i was driving most of the time you didn't drive the most of it you drove no no no you admitted it before we started fucking recording why would would you change your mind okay no you on the way back but it's it's on the way back our trip right i drove from kansas city no it took us longer than that but that's yeah but we're taking up the fucking slough time you don't get to count that in you don't get to 25 the 25 minutes for lunch. You weren't driving. You were eating. There's a difference. Anyway, so let's just say 15 hours. I drove from outside of Kansas City. I drove from further than that. You drove the most on the way back. But shall we talk about the way there? Shall we look at the combined 30 hours?
Speaker2: We switched back and forth. I don't remember who drove what section. Convenient enough. You drove through fucking Kansas City because I refused to drive through there. Right, and I drove through Jackson. I hit Memphis at rush hour. And I drove through Jackson. And go for it. I'm like, what the fuck is that noise? What noise? not the computer is it i don't even know what
Speaker1: you're talking about because you can't hear i can be a mouse probably anyways okay so yes you you win driver of the day award yeah we're not okay by the way before yeah sure so why we're why we're uh why we are uh talking about this don't forget this sunday when you hear this, Sunday, November 6th, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: On SDC.com, you can watch the ASN award shows. So you can watch us present an award, and you can watch it where we're up for three awards. So hopefully we bring home some fucking bacon, bring home some trophies, some hardware, add to our shelf of love shelf of love we don't really take them physically but right but we're still being a smart ass so there you go okay we got a good show what how wow we're only 10 minutes in wow i'm like jumping too far ahead you're going like 90 miles of fuck we fucked we did that like getting into the Elevator of your hotel and going A hooker That smoked a bowl The smell of cheap cologne And cheap weed Was just overpowering She was going to get some I was actually outside on the phone And I saw a hot chick letting the dude in I was like whoa it's like i wasn't on the prowl because we're there for a family shed but i was very observant it's the accent we had the evenings free thank god for visiting hours it has it's uh well it's the accent thing it's it's you're running around there's all these fucking chicks and hey and y'all and yit and grits. Yeah, this guy was strong. At least it felt like it this time around. That's what it felt like in my pants. It was like, my dick is a microphone for accents. When I hear a southern jaw, hello. Hey. Nummy. And then when they have scrubs on, oh, fuck. Yeah, they were idiot nurses. Horrible nurses. Yeah, they shrug. Just fucking completely retarded as nurses. They were shitty nurses. We have great nurses up here. They were shitty nurses, but it doesn't matter. They look good in scrubs. As I'm totally, like, just, I didn't even hide staring. I was checking out asses. Oh, yeah, I didn't even hide it. I was just like, hey. I'm over trying to flirt with one of my big poofy fucking northern fucking un-fucking-used to this fucking uh humidity hair at the vending machine trying to flirt with this chick hey you know my penis isn't all fluffy is that does that count i didn't say that i thought in my brain and then she's instructed me it's like She was too young to know what Don Henley looked like in the 70s.
Speaker2: Probably not.
Speaker1: So I had no chance. Anyways, but in my mind, I was like, please have daddy issues. Please, please have daddy issues. There was empty beds in that hallway, too. I spotted those. I was like, huh, we could venture in there.
Speaker3: What the fuck?
Speaker1: It's nurses. What the fuck do you mean? We'll be am i okay or am i like in trouble if i'm in the hospital if you're in cardiac arrest like, no, I'm not going to go fucking nurse so I know you're stable. But once you're stable, I mean, you're just sleeping. There's no reason for both of us just to sit there. I'm just pulling your chain. You'd go fuck a hot intern or some dude. You'd do the same thing. You would. That doctor was kind of cute. See, exactly. You would, yeah. I mean, I couldn't see past the mask, but what I could see around the mask, it looked pretty good. Yeah, you'd fucking, you'd tap that. Hey, doc. No shit. Can you give my dad a discount? I'm just saying. It's one of those things. Let's not act like you wouldn't be doing the exact same fucking shit that I would be doing. And then on the way back, I'm like, damn it. Saturday night, we could have gone to New Orleans. Yeah, yeah. We think of this Sunday on the way home. Great timing. It's only an hour away. It's only the biggest swinger holiday of the year. Why would we think to go to the fucking dirtiest, raunchiest fucking city in America? I'm not saying. No, I don't think so. I don't even know what it was. Doesn't matter. Anyways. probably harry potter yeah actually it was yeah i'm watching harry potter when i could have been fucking having my wand played with by some fucking stripper in new orleans smart way to go cole this this is why this is why we get laid so much fuck anywho next family emergency we'll do better Just saying Okay so We have a good show Ish something
Speaker2: Okay Let's go
Speaker1: Go Health tip of the day
Speaker3: Go
Speaker2: Oh don't make me do this
Speaker1: Why do you not want to You don't want to do anything Don't make me do this
Speaker4: All you do is
Speaker1: Don't make me do this
Speaker2: Cold and flu season
Speaker1: Stay home Could you just Fuck that up You know Thank you. Thank you. Bye.
Speaker2: Bye.
Speaker1: Bye-bye.
Speaker2: Bye-bye.
Speaker1: Bye-bye.
Speaker2: Bye-bye.
Speaker4: Bye-bye.
Speaker1: Bye.
Speaker3: Bye-bye. Who knows? Cold and flu season. Could you just... Stay home.
Speaker1: Could you just fuck that up, idiot?
Speaker2: I know.
Speaker1: We're trying to actually help people with these segments.
Speaker2: Well, then go for it.
Speaker1: No, because I... You talk all the time. All you do is talk.
Speaker3: You talk.
Speaker2: I don't say that.
Speaker1: The fuck you don't. Stay home if you have a flu or cold. Fuck off. I don't care anymore. I don't want to do this show. Fuck it. I don't want to care. Nope. I don't have anything else. I'm done. I'm just going to play with my fucking hair. You are never done. Cole doesn't have anything to say. I don't. Cole always has something to say. No, I have nothing else to say. You always have something to say. No, I write shit up there. You go 90 miles an hour. I know. You always have something to say. I am trying to fucking squeeze a lot of powerful information and knowledge to the masses in a short time frame. And I just yawn and get it over with. Oh, my God. You're going to swallow your fucking head. And now I write shit up there. No, I was reading. I just have to look past devices. All I want for Christmas is an actual fucking... Is my two front teeth? No, is an actual fucking teleprompter. That's all I really want. That's it. That's all I want. Where the fuck are you going to put it? Right in fucking front of you so you can participate. That's where're gonna put that motherfucker okay so i had a great question this week so since i'll just go ahead how about i go okay good idea cole you go ahead and go perfect great jesus that's awesome fucking a anywho so i had a great question this week so the we get this all the time we've talked about this before that going to parties and after halloween this is not surprising that this came up ha Halloween party, guess what, believe it or not, people ran into people from their jobs, right, and so I had a couple, they asked private message me, and asked me about this, and I'm like, okay, you know, and I knew what it was going to be right off the bat, but they had an interesting take on it. It was actually the wife. It was somebody from the wife's work that they ran into. Okay. They saw each other in passing. They did not communicate with each other. He was like, oh, don't worry about it. She probably didn't recognize whatever she did. The other gal did. Come Monday, very awkward at work. Nobody, you know, no eye contact with each other. Nobody knows what to say. And at the very end of the day, the one gal friend did, sent a Facebook friend request to the other gal. Okay. So I'm like, okay, typical stuff. Well, here is the concern. And his answer to his wife was what we would normally say which is you're all here you're all here for the same reasons don't worry about it the wife's concern is this and this is very valid the person that they saw is an hourly employee she is salaried pension pension, higher-ranking employee. Her concern is this. There is a definite difference in terms of who has what to lose. So it makes sense because then at that point in time, the standard answer really kind of doesn't apply. I mean, it can, but you can see the concern there because it's a little bit different ballgame when, you know, the reason the answer of we're all the same party, no big deal, what happens here stays here works is because everybody's on equal footing of what they have to lose but how do you deal with that when it's not equal footing when you do have something that somebody has they're a manager or a career or whatever and it's a little different than than maybe somebody who is an out of the employee and not that that's less but if there's you know ranks can play obviously play into that's new to a company versus somebody that's been there for 20 years. How do you deal with it then? I mean, I've had it happen. But I was the low hourly employee. And it's the car business. So the car business does not count. The car business doesn't have to do that. And he was way up there. Yeah, he was the GM. But it also was he ran into both of us. Yeah. And I was a finance manager. So, and the car business doesn't count because it's not like most other businesses. Everything wrong and crooked can happen, does happen in the car business. So it's a little more, it's, you know, whatever. But the part that I, here's, my first piece of advice to them was, and this is my advice to everybody. When this kind of shit happens, the fact that they purposely were avoiding each other all day long, and I don't know what their dynamic is supposed to be at work. Right. But they were blatantly avoiding eye contact and avoiding each other at work. I'm telling you, when people try to act natural, that's usually when people go, what the hell's going on?
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: Like, that is a huge dead giveaway. A total dead giveaway. Mike says, from someone with a degree in HR, never, ever fish in the company pond, period. You should listen to that. It's a car business. Everything's from, duh. But Mike's right. Yeah, you should try to, yeah. Playing at work can get very, very ugly. But if you run into each other i i still am a firm believer in and my advice was you have to you have to have that conversation you have to have a conversation well i went up to our boss and was like you know what happens here stays here right and he put yes he didn't put he shook his head at me and i'm like okay just so we understand because you have way more to lose than i do but right well okay alex put when i uh lived in vegas i ran across my boss at the rooster that's awesome the red rooster uh a huge sex club so well here was my take though the the gal in this case that was the hourly employee is probably just as afraid because let's face it, if she is an hourly employee and you're a manager of some variety
Speaker2: you can fire her ass or get her fired
Speaker1: you know, if it comes down to who's going to be believed more than the other
Speaker2: it's going to be they're going to believe the manager over the hourly employee
Speaker1: exactly, and so again I don't know. it's going to be they're going to believe the manager over the hourly employee exactly and so again the need to sit down and have that conversation and go let's all get on the same page here about what is and it's not going on it's very important you just letting one of these situations fester is a horrible idea, I think. I mean, I suppose that could backfire. It could. Somebody's sick, can you tell? He caught a cold. I caught allergies down there, and they're horrible. And he can't shake it. Oh, and the sneezes come. Jesus, fuck, son of a...esus okay this will be a great podcast okay so but here's my thing is so i hr mike say give me your your opinion on this do you can you say hey let's go have lunch let's go catch a drink after dinner somewhere away from work obviously talking about it at work it's not not new too many too many ears can pop up anywhere go somewhere that's neutral I don't know.
Speaker3: I don't know. I don't know. I don telling you people when they act they think people don't
Speaker1: know it's horrible you you can watch people purposely avoid contact with each other it's like are they fucking what's going on it's first thing people think of dude so yeah you you need to go have the conversation you need to establish plus it's a good idea to establish some ground rules because here's the thing if you ran into each other at one event it's going to happen again Thank you. you need to establish plus it's a good idea to establish some ground rules because here's the if you ran into each other at one event it's going to happen again well obviously you're running in some similar circles so there's a chance of and when you think about this you ran into them when everybody was dressed well seriously i mean like mike said earlier They're the rule play don't fish in the office fool yeah but if you end up going someplace you would see him i don't well i don't know you don't have to fuck him just because you're the same house party doesn't mean you have to fuck each other doesn't mean you can't walk out if you're uncomfortable about it well but the thing is if you can have the conversation of hey let's have the ground rules of you know whatever we see and do at events stays at events you know will everybody be everybody be cool man and i don't think there's anything wrong with saying hey look you know it's probably best that we don't play and you know whatever i to me it's the same as any other communication the more you communicate and you're honest the better off the less chances of something going south i mean here's the here's the catch to it and we never talk about this what do you do when you run into somebody at your work that doesn't like you? We've never tackled that question before. And this made me think of that very situation. It's one thing. I mean, we've had at Crazy Wonder Nights people run into HR people, all kinds of shit, right? And it's all cool. Everybody got along, it was no problem. But what do you do when you run into somebody at your work that hates your fucking guts? And let's face it, we know people will lie and don't say all kinds of shit. How do you deal with that? And I don't know what the answer is there, necessarily. Because trying to have that honest conversation, you know you know again if they're the manager or they're the person under you and if they there's a lot of damage can be done with that you know i think you know if you got called into hr and so and so saw you at this thing i'd be like so what does my after hours job have to do you know what it's not a job what i what do i do kind of is no what i do outside the office why does what does it pertain to here well but they can because a lot of my morality clauses so they can yeah quite honestly this is going to sound horrible i'm giving this advice but this is going to sound horrible, but it's very true. Part of the answer, if you're concerned with something like that is, you need to have your spin ready to go. This is going to sound horrible, but it's very true. The worst thing that you can do if you want to get caught or to have things become very fucking clusterfucked very quickly, stutter. Somebody walks up, hey, can you come here a second?
Speaker3: Sure. What's going on?
Speaker1: So we got a word that you were at a sex party this weekend. Is that true?
Speaker3: Excuse me?
Speaker1: If you go, well, you're fucked.
Speaker3: You could be. No, you will be that's communication one-on-one. But if you try that with me, what's going to happen? Well, you're good at thinking on your feet. I'm going to laugh and I'm going to go, really? Was it awesome? Did I have sex? Were there hot people there? How much fun did I have? if you have your reverse if you have your no i've always thought like with the with the work guy if i ever got caught or someone ever goes hey i heard you were fucking them did i like it did i enjoy it was it good did i go back for more what if what if they walked in anyway you're you were fucking? Well, that's a different story. Are you fucking? Yes. No, it's a figment of your imagination. We're really not doing that. These are not the droids you're looking for. No, but seriously. I'm giving him a healing session. In most of these things, if you're that concerned, you should always have an immediate story. Look, what's the biggest joke with swingers every swinger how do you introduce most of these people oh these are some friends bars we met at a bar or a friend of a friend a friend of a friend yep it's the same thing it's the same at your job if you can rattle off an answer you will 99.999 percent of the time stop anything in its track if you can immediately turn around and fire off an answer. And it's not about being thinking quick on your feet. It's about being prepared. Now, I did have the one guy that was the finance director that I kind of knew who he was. Right. From a website, from trying to hook up like a long time ago yeah and i wasn't interested um still am not but nonetheless we joked around about it we saw each other at a house party no but it never went i mean we didn't talk about it we didn't treat each other different of course kind of timer timmy might grab my ass in the office and i was like oh okay well that's But we didn't talk about it. We didn't treat each other different. Of course, kind of timer to me. I grabbed my ass in the office, and I was like, ooh, okay. Well, that's because he still wanted it. But we didn't act any different. Mike says, check your company policy. Just like social media, employers can have an issue with your personal life but can't really do anything without policy guidelines. If you're a public figure, that could change. The bigger issue is under no circumstances should you play or have a with a co-worker rarely ends well, which is very true. That's completely true. And that's, seriously, have an answer ready. What, do I have a rare thing with a co-worker? No, it's not rare. It's just dumb. You quit, so it's all good. The thing is, you shouldn't. Most of the time, it rarely ends well. That's when people get feelings hurt and spouses come in and shit gets weird the the thing is is that in anything we do in this look you're going to run into people you know you might as well you might as well just embrace the fact you're going to be at a public bar at a meet and greet and all of a sudden there's going to be somebody there from your work your school your whatever family there's going to be an event you're you're going to run into people in the real life right so here's the deal if you get caught off guard by that you have no one to blame but yourself you know it's going to happen if someone wow uh so hey i heard this bar is a swinger bar sweet where are they at i'm telling you if you if you or even a better one i never would have thought you were a swinger you want to stop people dead in your track turn that shit on them immediately you get called in the office well we heard that you we had someone tell us that you were at a sex party this weekend and you know a couple of policies and we're like, who was at a sex party this weekend?
Speaker2: I've been looking for that my whole life.
Speaker1: I promise you will stop that shit dead in its tracks.
Speaker3: You know, I mean that. They have those. I thought that was just in fucking penthouse form. Cool.
Speaker1: The thing is, is that quite honestly, these are all things that have to happen. Now, the other part of it is, you know, honestly, I really recommend if something like that happens, you deal with it at the event.
Speaker3: Seriously.
Speaker1: You run into each other.
Speaker2: Deal with it right here, right now.
Speaker1: You know what? You both saw each other. You were hoping you wouldn't recognize each other, but you did. If you'd have just went, hey, fancy meeting you here. Hey. And done the typical, what happens here stays here. So everybody's cool. A lot can be avoided. But, yeah. So there you go. I thought that was interesting because of the power play. I never thought of it that way. I guess I never cared. I still don't give a shit. Tell me how you really feel. Well, I don't. I mean, we're fortunate. We're fortunate. I don't have to. True. I mean, at this point in time, who the fuck do I care if they find out? Like, oh, my God, if it was on the news, that would rock. I mean, seriously, that means I'm being interviewed for some fucking valuable thing for our shit. I mean, I'm, you know. Well, I joked around with a coworker one day going, gosh, what would have happened if we would have gotten caught? I said, you know, that's kind of dumb. He's like, yeah, a lot of times I open the door going, please don't let there be anybody in there. Why are you guys in the nursing thing? Because I'm squeezing her boobs. That would have been funny. I wonder if they ever figured out why they were going through so many paper towels in there all of a sudden.
Speaker2: There wasn't anybody that ever went in there, so they didn't know they were going through paper towels.
Speaker1: Well, there was somebody that went in there. There were people that went in there. Somebody was like, hmm, trash can's full in there.
Speaker2: I never threw anything away in the garbage can there. That's DNA. Fuck that.
Speaker1: It's the fucking car business. There's more DNA places.
Speaker2: Trust me. If you buy a brand new car, check the fucking a black light to the back seat Oh stop it You don't think tech's fucking the back of cars? Huh? You don't think tech's fucking the back of cars? Well probably I don't know Who? I'm not telling you you dirty whore What do you want to go fucking attack? Well, maybe. There's one that's older. The Corvette one? Yeah. He's starting to look a little rougher now, but he's quite the handsome fellow. He knows how to fix Corvettes. Yeah, you can fuck him. Fuck yeah. I've walked by him, just look at him. You can also get a fucking... Then if I ever get a Corvette, I can have somebody fix it. Really? Yeah. The Corvette needs fixed. Fuck Amanda. That'd be awesome. Yeah. It's better than one riding a bicycle. Just saying. Hey, it's halftime. You know what? This holiday season, you can give the friends and family that you love and know what you do something great from fullswShop.com. Would you like a mug? Are you a coffee slut? Of course you are. Get a mug, FullSwapShop.com. Check them out today and get all of your dirty shirts, mugs, and other accessories at one place, FullSwapShop.com. And we're back. Okay, so you had a couple people chime in. Okay, I always thought about it. If it happens and if I was called into the office, I would ask if it affected my job. No. Remember, in some states, it's actually illegal to have sex outside of marriage and a company can use it against you? Simply ask how you would know and how does or has anything I may have done in my personal life affected my performance?
Speaker1: I would ask when they'd like to see my penis.
Speaker3: What?
Speaker1: I would ask them when they'd like to see my penis.
Speaker3: Because they would be like, that's the exact response they'd be like i'm sorry what well there was like a rule at one point in time where you couldn't show affection and i gave you a kiss goodbye and they go mandy you can't do that and i'm like i kiss my husband every single fucking day and you're not gonna tell me i can't do it yeah but that was also because i would come up there and slap your ass a lot, too. Well, you did that, too. And the HR person was always like, Cole.
Speaker2: And I'm like, what?
Speaker3: And I'd always be like, well, grab her tits later.
Speaker2: She's like, Cole.
Speaker1: What?
Speaker3: And so, yeah. So then we fucked the girl from my work. Worked out. Anyways, I miss that about working. I know. I miss that. What, slapping my ass?
Speaker1: No, fucking having chicks that can fucking work besides my wife.
Speaker2: It's like I... You fucked a co-worker.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: At the same place of employment.
Speaker1: Well, yeah, but the thing...
Speaker2: Before I worked there.
Speaker1: Yeah, I know. I was there. I remember all that. I'm just saying my fucking... The pool of fish to choose from is so much smaller when you work by yourself at your house.
Speaker4: Hey, baby.
Speaker2: I mean, it's just...
Speaker1: I'm just saying.
Speaker4: I miss that. I don't have... Oh, my God. We don't have some new hire that can be like fresh meat That's horrible Horrible I don't believe in doing that at all It's awfully wrong Doing fresh meat? What? Because Kazba Inc has not hired any 25 year olds yet The odds of me fucking when at work Are so much slimmer Cole I'm guessing you show Your current boss your penis often i do actually actually a little bit more than that no yeah absolutely i do i i like to show my penis and and um and you know that's part of the gym program we have here uh and say we didn't fuck at work the last time no it was in a hotel room yeah i know i was there were you You woke me from a dead sleep I know, I know. I was there. Were you? You woke me from a dead sleep. I know, yeah, I know.
Speaker1: Because I was like, hey, I got a boner. Let's do something with it. But no, the thing is, we really, what I'm saying is, we have a need to hire some people. They need to be 25 big jets and easy.
Speaker2: Well, if we hired them for a lifestyle type thing, wouldn't they be easy?
Speaker1: No, just because it's a lifestyle business doesn't mean that you put in a contract, they get to fuck. That doesn't work that way. You way you still have like legal shit you have to go through if it's part of the job look hire a dude no you can't you can't put that in in this thing okay so how do porn stars do it they're shoot that's where the forms remember all those forms i make you sign sign when you shoot content and shit? Right. It's a totally different thing. You're producing something. It's a totally different thing than
Speaker2: Well, should you do this? Have video cameras set up in the office. Okay,
Speaker1: so for, when the FBI is listening, we're not actually fucking anybody here. No. So, no, it's okay. We're fucking around.
Speaker3: Yeah, I
Speaker1: Literally. I have signed all the forms. Just say it. Yeah, that's the closest thing. I practice a lot.
Speaker4: Mine goes like this.
Speaker1: Yours gets recharged. I practice a lot.
Speaker2: I meant to charge it.
Speaker1: If we ever hire somebody, I practice all the time. Building stamina for that day when our company is big enough, I get a secretary. I'll be all excited.
Speaker3: Hi.
Speaker2: I'll hit the Powerball. You won't have to worry about it.
Speaker1: You think if we hit the Powerball, I'm going to quit working? No, I don be all excited. Hi. Well, I'll hit the Powerball. You won't have to worry about it. You think if we hit the Powerball, I'm going to quit working? No, I don't think you'll quit working. I mean, I will. I'll just have the hottest fucking stuff. You don't work now with the business except doing this, and you'll keep doing this. I'll remind you of that. You keep doing this. Don't even. Don't even. There's been more times I'm like, no, just get it. You're like, no, I'm going to make it. I can do it myself. Your work is in your own cabana, boys. Yeah, you won't shoot porn? Yeah, that would suck, wouldn't it? That's a fuck hot guy. Wow, that would be horrible. In exotic locations. I don't want to hear your bullshit. Anyways, I'm just hoping to hire that we have an intern program. That's what I'm hoping for. Yay, interns. Just saying. I can hire the old work guy. Of course, I don't think I can hire. No, no, we're not hiring a guy that's unreliable. Here's one of the requirements to work for Kaz Bank. Have a car. You have to have reliable transportation. Yeah, it's cold as two feet. Yeah, well, here's the thing. If it rains, that's not an acceptable excuse not to come to work. I couldn't pedal there. The rain was too heavy. No no and i'm not paying some dude a 401k just to fuck you just because he's a good fuck no no no if we split the money i can do whatever the fuck i want not under caswell you can't so that's no just hiring me my personal to be my personal bitch. I need a personal assistant. Basically, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to end up paying a fucking dude to be a personal assistant just to keep him, to keep you happy and him out of the way. I don't know if it would make me happy because he's really kind of annoying to listen to. Okay, great. So I'm going to pay somebody for a fucking 401k to come in like once a week just to fuck you and leave Great Take her to the store because I don't want to do it No shit take her to the store Okay so the next question This has been also I love Halloween I fucking love Halloween Halloween is the Number one swinger holiday And so I've been watching a couple of different pages that I'm on. The walk of shame after Halloween, first-time Halloween parties, is awesome. And I've seen multiple couples talking about on multiple different pages, oops, we got too caught up in the moment in Halloween Halloween, we think we maybe went a little too far, oops, I love it, I love that, so, and here's the thing, these are all, this wasn't like a specific question that came to us, I've just been watching some of these questions, and people asking for advice, and I've been following the post because what it is is multiple people i probably saw five or six of them that were like you know we weren't gonna play or we were just gonna observe it was our first event we ended up fucking six different people uh rules broken uh too much alcohol you know the typical shit right the thing that we've probably done. Yeah, but it's amazing how many people or when, it's the guilt factor. Because a lot of people went, well, we thought maybe we would hook up, but it's how many they hooked up with. Look, apparently there were some people just fucking laying it out and going swinging for the fences. Because I think the biggest one I saw, I'm I'm trying to go what pages on it was a party back east uh somebody put their husband is upset at them because they got caught up in the moment they were in a room and it was a it was a big big room broke out party broke out and she fucked at least 11 guys and it was their first event and and her husband was all upset at her because she was really caught up in the moment she was really caught up in the moment and i'm like i'm reading this going and here's what's funny a lot of the responses were just like well that's it's not that big a deal or he should just get over it and i'm reading this i'm going like you could tell from the gals responses she's feeling horrible she doesn't they don't know what to do because all of a sudden it's like think about this well i mean when you're new do you is your first i mean when we were new it was let's find another couple to swap with we weren't going oh my god you go to parties and just fuck random people all over the place no but the first house party house party we went to, we didn't go into it with how many... We didn't have guidelines of how many people we were or were not going to fuck.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Because there was how many couples there?
Speaker3: Eight?
Speaker2: Or six. Six or eight.
Speaker1: Six or eight. We fucked all of them.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Almost all of them.
Speaker2: Like, there's one I'm like...
Speaker1: There was, well, yeah, there was one. There was like six and the seventh one showed up late and that one no but like six couples but we didn't we didn't have we didn't have i see to me when i when i read this i go i think people you know we talk about no expectations right but? But I think that people, they misconstrue expectations. They only think in terms of, I'm not going to assume to get laid. But they also put expectations of a limit of how many. So then all of a sudden, when they're caught up in the moment, then all of a sudden it's like, oh, shit. Here here's the thing it's fucking 11 guys the first time out wrong no no it it's not but if you had said this expectation if we play we're only going to do one thing with one person that's it that's still an expectation right right and you know mike 11. She needs to pump up those numbers. And Ellen's on the other question. Do they get a company car and a 401k? No company cars. No, but the thing is, this is sometimes that the need to be flexible. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. If you're going to fuck 11 guys, you're going to be flexible. No, but the need to be flexible that sounds horrible doesn't it yeah if you're gonna fuck 11 guys you're gonna be flexible no but the need to i don't think if you're not going going into a place and just going with the flow and and you're gonna go into it with whatever happens happens means whatever happens happens whether that be you don't fuck anybody but you have fun or whether you fuck 15 people and you have fun the question is is is the guy upset because he didn't get that he didn't get that same amount of attention there i reading through the comments it looked like there was some of that and some of some of it was just seen that much. They went from never doing anything to she just getting fucking railed six ways to Tuesday. And, you know, and again, I didn't reach out or anything else. And you have these questions going, okay, was booze involved? Or what the hell else was involved that got you that out of control a little bit? But seriously, why, when we set, when you go into these events, I don't understand, I don't understand just, there's no way we just went so nuts the very first time, went from have never done anything to fucking 11 people. But, I mean, this is that overthinking part of it that plays into effect every single time. Well, you can't, I don't know if you can necessarily say that. Because there's a lot of insecurities. Well, obviously, some didn't have as many as others. Well, right. i i guess the thing i don't know that necessarily that's why i don't always know that a big event is necessarily the best very first thing to ever go to no i mean honestly i guess i can't say because we didn't do it that way so it doesn't mean that our way is the right way but there is the potential to get caught up in it when you are surrounded by hundreds of people that are in a sexually charged atmosphere it's easy for shit to get out of control like that's a no-brainer as an adult you should know that could happen so if you're not sure that you're ready for something like that to happen don't put yourself in that situation yeah you know maybe maybe start a little bit smaller you know and go from there um yes and no branches yes and no if you threw your rules out the window and you're exactly right and that that's the other thing that goes with some of these is did people throw their their rules out the window i think as i've read a lot of these posts, the thing that sticks out to me more is that it shows that I think people aren't taking their rules seriously. What I honestly believe happens is I think that people, they set these rules, but until one gets, when somebody breaks the rules, rules get very fucking serious very quickly we had that happen we every couple does once once the rule gets broken then it's like wait a minute what the fuck so i think people go well we we've got our rules yeah but if you don't if they don't actually if they don't mean anything to you, then it doesn't matter.
Speaker3: Right. So then you go and now all of a sudden it's like, oh, holy fuck. Well, we got out of control of Halloween. Did you? I mean, you know, that's the first step is how much time are you really, you can't get ready for everything. We get that. We preach that. But you've got to try a little bit at least attempt to
Speaker1: have some sort of guide I mean it would have been interesting with that couple to see whose idea of swinging was
Speaker4: yeah
Speaker2: somebody's got the coffee it's really good
Speaker1: that would mean you keep talking
Speaker2: I know what the fuck it means
Speaker3: We'll be right back. Yeah. Somebody's got the coffee. It's really good.
Speaker2: That would mean you keep talking. I know what the fuck it means, dork.
Speaker1: Instead of just making fun of me while I'm over here dying.
Speaker2: No, it's more fun to make fun of you.
Speaker3: God.
Speaker2: Did you take that medicine I brought?
Speaker1: Yeah, I did. I did like seven huge swigs of it. But, you know, this will be the fucking hack episode. This will be great. Some people love this.
Speaker2: I can edit that shit out for the most part. A quiet, a silence, a silence.
Speaker1: We'll be right back. Like seven huge swigs of it. But, you know, this will be the fucking hack episode. This will be great. Some people love this. I can edit that shit out for the most part. A quiet, silent, silent. When the fuck are you going to do that? I'm not. I was kidding. So the first time in three years, you're going to edit four years. Five years. Five years. So you didn't catch how many years I was off how many years we've been doing this shit. Okay. Are you even? Who's doped up on medicine You or me
Speaker2: I haven't had shit
Speaker1: Maybe you need to Maybe we need to give you an edible And wake your ass up It has a reverse effect on you Jesus
Speaker2: No I'm good
Speaker1: This is going to be the shortest show we've ever done
Speaker2: It is not
Speaker1: It is too
Speaker2: No it's not It is
Speaker1: You're not even listening
Speaker2: Well Okay How do I get you to fucking love guys in one night i don't know what is that no i'm like i've never had the opportunity it'd have to be a game bang what do you mean you've never had the opportunity i think the most I've done in one night is like six. Yeah. If you just lay still, we could get to the 11. I'm like, how do you fit that all in in one night? I do fall asleep early, you know. Oh, shit. No, not when you're fucking, you know. No, I don't. No. No. We just got to get them lined up. We just have to have people ready. Basically, we need barkers. Like if the trucks stop and they go, driver number 15, your shower's ready. Driver 15, your shower's ready. We just need that. Like, fucker 15, your pussy's ready. Fucker 15, your vagina's ready. No. Here it is. Get ready. June 2. Why not? Just because. If the new girls are doing it, you got to keep the fuck up, man. You ain't fresh meat anymore. Wow. Show them girls you can still fucking rub on it. I've never been the fresh meat. Well, like the very first time I went out time What do you mean you've never been the fresh meat
Speaker1: There was a time we were new Oh you have no short people that fuck you And you know it I bet you I could get 15 guys lined up right now
Speaker2: Maybe
Speaker1: Fuck I could get you probably 30 people lined up right now Guys and girls Boom We could have the Daisy Train weekend Maybe we'll do that for Mayday It's the Miss Amanda Mayday celebration I don't know. We'll end up right now, guys and girls. Boom. We can have the Daisy Train weekend. Maybe we'll do that for May Day. It's the Mr. Man and May Day celebration. Line them up, knock her down. Or is that what my birthday is going to be? Maybe. See, we've got to go guy, girl this way. It's like hot, cold, hot, cold. Friction, lick it down. Friction? Lick it down. I got this all fucking figured out. We're going to see in your
Speaker3: birthday. Apparently.
Speaker1: What do you want to go for? 100?
Speaker3: 200.
Speaker2: Fuck no.
Speaker1: 250. What do you want? Give me a number. 250. People? Did I hear three? No. No fucking raccoons. Yes people. How many fucking? No. it'll be half and half we'll write it up give me a number 12 5 what are we doing it's a whole fucking weekend man people will be bored yeah what are we doing here let's go let's go you'll get time to even plan that we're usually busy well you'll be busy you You lay here. We'll bring snacks and stuff to you. I'd be... Just saying. It'll be fun. What could possibly go wrong? Seriously, what could go wrong? Somebody misses? We can always switch holes if we have to midway through. We got to give this one... Do we have another Houston 500 planning going on? Can we cool it down? Let me get the hose. It'll be like the Santa thing. Wait, it'll be like the Santa thing. Mr. Man, his vag will be back in five minutes, kids. Hey, kids. The moose out front should have told you. Mr. Amanda's vag is closed. You get like a whole week off after that. A whole week off? That motherfucker would be wrecked.
Speaker2: Oh, God, that would kill me.
Speaker1: Fucking A.
Speaker2: Absolutely kill me.
Speaker1: Your clit would be all like...
Speaker2: It'd be painful.
Speaker1: You're so close. We just lube it up enough. It'll be alright don't worry we'll take care of this it'll be fine we'll have food, snacks, hydration materials whatever hydration we'll get you up and move you around so when you're late to sleep, we'll flip you over on occasion and stuff like that. That'll be all right.
Speaker3: 200. 200.
Speaker1: We're doing a raffle thing.
Speaker3: What's it going to be?
Speaker1: Come up with a number right now. Come on.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Oh, my Lord.
Speaker3: Keep going. No.
Speaker1: You know what? I am going to keep going because I'm just going to come up with a number myself.
Speaker2: No, you're not going to hound me.
Speaker1: I'm not going to hound you.
Speaker3: You know what?
Speaker1: I'm just going to surprise you. We're having a raffle. Here, sit here. It's the chair of honor. It's a raffle ticket. We're raffled off with the iron house. Raffle off Amanda's badge. It's Amanda. You too can go splunking. Because at the end, that's what it would be. It'd be something. All right. What a great place to end the show yay hey by the way happy halloween to all of our friends and family we're gonna see you all soon don't forget to come out to crazy winter nights uh miss amanda will not be fucking everybody there apparently i'll be busy doing what helping run a party oh well i didn't know i well we needed to specify so no one thought they're like oh she's all fucking no. Maybe. You might. You might be able to slip away. Give some Hollywood cheer. Boink. Anyways, Crazy Crasby, you go to crazycrasby.com, get all the information, sign up for Crazy Winter Nights. We would love to have you. It's going to be in Omaha this year. It's going to be fun. It's what we do, fifth annual. Way to go. Don't forget, again, to watch the watch party on SDC, ASN Awards, see if we win some shit. Go us. You happy there? And don't forget our sponsor, ASN Lifestyle Magazine. Three million readers can't be wrong. Check it out today. Shamelesscare.com. Don't forget, visit them for all of your ed needs as well as your uh sexual std testing home testing no reason not to be tested now and always make sure you use coupon code kk50 to get your discount 30 discount kk what 50 okay i thought you said 58 no that's why i wanted you to clarify k50 and nightcaps.com, the drink spiking prevention scrunchie. Again, don't forget to put in your promo code, nightcap10-kazba, Inc. Get your discount. Don't leave your safety or the safety of the ones that you love up to someone else. Take care of yourself at nightcaps.com. And finally, don't forget to get all your holiday cheer at our newest sponsor, HolidaySantaRental.com. Check them out today. Let us know what you think of Santa. He's a fucking sexy motherfucker. And finally, you can send us emails at Crazy.Kazba at gmail.com. As well as follow us on Twitter at Truth Crazy. Follow us on, what's that one thing? YouTube at YouTube.com backslash CASBA. We're pretty much everywhere. Check us out. Thank you for listening, kids. We'll see you guys on Thursday.
Speaker3: This will be out.
Speaker1: Oh, and don't forget to catch us on fullswampradio.com. I forgot to mention it. Jesus, good Lord. With that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever will on cold medicine and high as a kite, CASBA style, out.
Speaker3: Bye.