Krazy Truth #216 Taking questions from the live audience

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and perpetually tired Miss Amanda. Hey. Look at that.
Speaker2: She said it. Motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and perpetually tired Miss Amanda. Hey.
Speaker1: Look at that, she said it without you on it. You go, girl. And we are here to tantalate and titillate you through this. Don't fucking mess up my hair. For the few people that will see us on YouTube, we want my hair to look pretty. Anywho, we're here to tantalate and titillate and otherwise amuse you with our antics and our shenanigans. I was taking pictures of the park and he got mad because he didn't like how his hair looked. You got one that it could not have looked any thinner than if you would have fucking taken and photoshopped it out. You were sweaty because it was 100 degrees. It doesn't matter. It was glowy and it hit a really light spot that glowed. It made me look like my blonde hair started somewhere around my ears and nothing above it. Well, you should look like Bozo the Clown. Is that what you're saying? No, I'm saying that's what the picture looked like because I had taken my hat off. You could have dipped your head in the fountain. In the fucking foaming ass fountain. We just watched the homeless dude get fucking sent out of there for trying to wade in the fountain and you want me to stick my head in the fountain. You can take a breath in there. You run out of air. I am so gonna fucking slap this shit out of you. Oh my god. This is awesome. Yep. I'm gonna stick my head in there. there that would be awesome we won't even need to worry about fucking you know std testing what'd coal get from the fountain uh something that's taken and eaten his uh you know soul out of his body so anyways this is for those of you following along at, I don't know if I did that part. We already got me a butterfly. Did we get me a butterfly that fast? Probably. This is Season 5, Episode 216. I wish that was some magic number. It's not. Not at all. Dead man damn thing. Just me, we've done this a lot. And we're glad that you're here, and hopefully you've been listening to all of them. Rock on. What the hell was that?
Speaker3: I don't know. It's a simple... Oh, my
Speaker1: Lord. Anyways...
Speaker3: It's your phrase.
Speaker2: Guess who,
Speaker1: you know, got into the coke today.
Speaker3: Not it.
Speaker2: Anyways.
Speaker3: Never mind, Amanda can't talk.
Speaker2: Nope.
Speaker1: She's either gotten the coke or stroking out.
Speaker3: What I'm going to say. it. Uh-huh. Anyways, uh... They're fine now, Goosey Jop. Never mind Amanda Cancel.
Speaker2: Nope. She's either gotten the coke or stroking out.
Speaker1: One of the two. Um... Menopause. No, you're not blaming everything on menopause.
Speaker3: That is actually one of them, but thank you a lot. Slurring
Speaker1: your speech is now menopause. Not slurring, but
Speaker3: stammering over your words and stuff. Yes.
Speaker1: Could it be because you managed to piss somebody off and they're like, shut up, bitch, and slap you silly and your jaw is broken? Have I been mean? No, this time. Well, wait a minute. How far back are we talking about? This time. Well, what are we talking about? If we're talking about, I need dates to be able to check my calendar. There are times you are. You haven't been today. You weren't yesterday. There's fucking times. I don't give two shits. Okay, there are fucking Thank you. you are you haven't been today you weren't yesterday there's fucking times i don't give two shits okay there are fucking times so just deal with it you don't like that that's called reality it does you know what you know you know what helps is being on multiple women going through menopause or one that was already out of menopause and just going crazy that'd be my mother and then yeah have you been going have you been around a lot of women going through menopause oh i don't know that seems like such a loaded question the answer no no not really you do a very good job you're not very nuts for as fucking menopause-y as as you could be i'm not raging angry with massive anxiety so you're good no you're good. Because it's awfully, awfully warm to be sleeping out in the shed. But that's where you'd be if we'd need to shackle you up until you come out of it. I'd sleep outside in a heartbeat. Oh, bullshit. Have you lost your ever-loving fucking mind? No, I would sleep outside because I don't mind the heat. It's the animals. There's no fucking animals going to get out there. The dogs won't be out there with you.
Speaker2: You're bigger than them.
Speaker1: The trash pandas aren't going to come up and molest you. And right now they won't because it's fucking... Everything's hiding like our dogs. Everything's hiding. This is the perfect time to go out there.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: I still want to watch you and I pat out there in your little fucking, in just your, in your hammock and just your fucking shirt because you don't wear anything else and pat out there with your alarm clock and your phone and lay out there until the first collapse of fucking thunder
Speaker3: and then card me from the fucking weather.
Speaker2: Yep.
Speaker3: Like rain and shit.
Speaker1: I can't wait for that fucking next morning when he's getting ready to leave to go to work. Oh, I'm back. Fuck. So there's like rain coming. I. Like rain and shit. I can't wait for that fucking next morning when we get ready to leave to go to work. Oh, I'm back.
Speaker2: Fuck.
Speaker3: It feels like rain coming. I'd really like to stand outside.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: No, when did you put up the tent?
Speaker3: Oh, we have a tent.
Speaker1: We have a tent. If you'd like to sleep outside.
Speaker3: There's no air circulation, though.
Speaker1: Well, we'll leave the top part off. We'll make it so we can, and we put it up there And then you can sleep outside To your heart You can just have a constant Camping trip all summer long
Speaker3: Rock on
Speaker1: There you go You'll have showers inside and stuff That'll be perfect Ooh, it'll be like a little slumber party You know what you should do You should see if one of your boy toys Wants to come over and camp out with you Especially the one that Doesn't have a car this way Doesn't have to like Peddle the branch oak Or anything weird
Speaker2: I mean
Speaker1: It's like a little mini vacation for him Thank you. Especially the one that doesn't have a car this way. He doesn't have to, like, pedal the brain chokes or anything weird. I mean, it's like a little mini vacation for him. That'd be awesome. That'll keep the trash pandas away. The sound of wrestling around in a tent. That'd be funny as shit. We're quiet. I'll let him put his bike on the inside of the backyard fence he's just a good fuck he's just a good fuck are you still sure then? I'm pretty sure it hasn't changed are you sure? because now now he wants to cuddle. It's been a while. Now he wants to cuddle. Now he wants attention. He doesn't really want to cuddle. The last time he was here, he didn't want to just go to fucking. So you guys had to sit and talk and act like... Because he just wants to spend time. You need to turn down that magic dial On your vagina or something Obviously somebody's getting a little too much lucky charms there Anyways we do have sponsors We've totally missed that fucking part of the show Hopefully you remember who they are I don't You're only six minutes into the show
Speaker3: Go on
Speaker1: This show brought to you by the letter V As in vagina Miss Amanda's magic vag If you'd like to take a ride on Miss Amanda's magic vag
Speaker2: I don't know. This show brought to you by the letter V as in vagina. Miss Amanda's Magic Vag.
Speaker1: If you'd like to take a ride on Miss Amanda's Magic Vag, send it.
Speaker3: Is it like a magic carpet ride?
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: There's no fucking carpet, though. No, there's not. That'd be slick. Let's just go right for the Vag. We can give out Vag rides. I'm pretty sure we can. Or do drawings for them or something. I don't know. I don't know how that works, actually. Beats the Twitter guy today. Wow. What was the Twitter guy again? You look like a great time. Yeah. Well, you do. You just look like a party. So I responded, I am. And here's my OnlyFans account. Please make sure you go there. No, so then he was he say after that He was like Well I'd like to find out And for a small fee You too I have not responded For $9.95 a month He can find out He can watch and see Just like everybody else What a fun time you are You're a party Whether you're Here's the nice thing about them Doing the OnlyF fans thing they can re-watch that party as many times as they need to to get off so if you can't get off in the first fucking time through you can watch the video again it costs you nothing extra if the next day you go man i want to see that again you can do it again maybe a little later on maybe you want to start and stop maybe you get somebody's door oh fuck it's all right Go back and watch the video again for you. You can watch it as many times as you want for $9.95. See how this works? That's awesome.
Speaker3: I know how it works.
Speaker1: I'm just hoping you come here with selling points for future Twitter tweets.
Speaker2: Twats. What?
Speaker1: Anyways, we do have sponsors. You know what they are. ASN, Smutterfy, and Nightcaps. So, oh, Lord. Wow. Did you even get a chance to even go through them all? Well, that's the three of them. Here's the thing. I'll do better shout-outs to them at the end of the show. The thing is, is, look, you can tell we are literally, actually, today is the fifth. Uh-huh. Yeah, we're actually 30 days from Crazy Summer Nights, which do you know what that means? You're going to go nuts. Well, don't worry. You'll be here to be a sky in and boss me around and take over. But what do you do? I do not. You do, too. Yes, you do. And it's out of love and affection, but it's also because you can kind of tell you feel like I'm kind of an idiot when it gets this close.
Speaker3: No, I think when it gets this close, I want more of a set plan, and it starts to drive me nuts if there isn't one.
Speaker1: Yes, because it definitely affects and changes everything on how you do it at
Speaker3: the actual event. No, I just think people won't get into this. No, no,
Speaker1: people like this. Remember, what they think is awesome is the banter. That's your boot. What they think is awesome is the banter. We're going to come out with a fucking here's the deal. I am going to this year, and Thank you. Remember, what they think is awesome is the banter. What they think is awesome is the banter. We're going to come out with a fucking... Here's the deal. I am going to this year, and it goes against every fucking vibe in my body to do this. This week, I'm going to come out with the itinerary. Oh. So that this way, we can have people the whole fucking weekend worried about the itinerary. Look, I'm things completely out of the fucking norm i actually put the post out today and got thank you very much for people that are for volunteers which is totally not my gig at all i i hate with a passion doing that fucking hate it and i love everybody that will do it it's not it's it's look it's like being a germaphobe and i want to shake your hand but i just really can't bring myself to do it and no the people that volunteer are awesome everybody always helps but it fucking absolutely just fucking oh yeah because here's the deal in theory the, well, if I have volunteers and people are doing stuff, then I'll be able to either relax or socialize or go fuck or do some other random thing like that. We all know that ain't fucking going to happen.
Speaker3: Oh, it can.
Speaker2: Oh, my.
Speaker1: Have you lost your fucking mind?
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: There's no way that's going to happen. Look, if you want to have sex with me at crazy summer nights, set clock about yeah go through amanda at no i want to what okay well we can't on the way out there we can't in the car i'm not allowed to fuck you no we can you you're with me so you know the times that when everybody else goes that we can fuck otherwise you need to set your alarm for about 2 a.m and that's your ass up at 4 a.m and that's that's the best time to fuck we've got to figure out what time the fuck is breakfast gonna go on the same time as the the 3k that's what we got to know i'm trying to figure that fucking out all of a sudden it's like i don't think we have enough stuff now i'm trying to put it all on the schedule i'm like holy fuck we have too much stuff and i'm like shit so you know we figure it know. We figure it out. Well, you're going to be busy in the morning because you've got breakfast at 3K and then you've got your grounding session that you don't need to get to. So your little butt will be moving. My thing is, do I get to bring one of my guns to shoot off for the fucking starting gun for the fucking...
Speaker3: No, you have a big enough mouth. You're all good.
Speaker1: Fucking, wow.
Speaker3: Oh, that's funny and you know it. Wow.
Speaker1: Get the leprechauns. Uh, okay. So, yeah, we're going to have all kinds of fun. So, it's going to be cool. So, I'm going to get the itinerary out. We've got volunteers. People are fucking and people, like, signed up immediately and now I'm going to be like, fuck, I don't want them to work too much. I don't want people to feel like all they do is work and blah.
Speaker2: Ugh.
Speaker1: So, yes, no, but I'll have an itinerary out this week and we'll see you next time. And people, like, signed up immediately, and now I'm going to, like, fuck, I don't want them to work too much. I don't want people to feel like all they do is work, and blah. So, yes, no, but I'll have an itinerary out this week. It'll be awesome. Right now, what I actually have to figure out is if I haven't, make sure I haven't fucked anything up in my number of camera spaces. Kind of scared. Kind of freaking out a little bit about that. No worry. I know it's going to work out. But the heart attack should be just awesome. Just saying. So there you go. Because we have way more people than before. And it sounds like now a shit ton of people are coming out on Thursday.
Speaker2: So.
Speaker3: It's a big pre-party.
Speaker1: Yeah, that's what we need Cole to do is start getting drunk early. Actually, I have been spoken for Thursday night for a block of time. Yes. I think I'm supposed to help with that. Birthday presents on Monday. If you've got to catch them, it's like a puppy, but not a puppy. I don't know if she's in a box. We need to put air holes. That would be horrible. Anyways, okay. That's wrong. But we've got people coming from all over the world, coming to this fucking thing and so you know they're not like having a dude from england there you're just like hopefully you don't just he doesn't just leave going i flew across the globe what the fuck i want to hear you talk to me lord he's gonna get a lot of that i sure will yeah oh yeah yeah but we've got comedians we've got uh we've got porn i got the porn stuff set up today so we've got comedians porn we've got uh dear nicky's gonna be doing stuff we've got uh cornhole again we've got um the 3k will be going this year that's new i've never done that before scavenger hunt friday night uh because because so the scavenger hunt and then the the comedian and dear nicky stuff is friday night and the porn will be playing during like before and during the poker walk because we're gonna have to have multiple poker walks because of the size this year so we've got poker walks and we've got i mean i mean holy fucking uh so we have so much shit going on it's even funny plus then we'll have a campsite uh judging contest so i need to put that out there i haven't put that out yet remember it's we're going ancient uh and and food and good lord oh oh it's gonna be yeah it's gonna make me tired just listening. We have a lord. Oh, oh. Wow. It's going to be, yeah.
Speaker3: It kind of made me tired of just listening. Are we having karaoke?
Speaker2: Yes.
Speaker1: You don't know for sure. No, actually we will. We will have karaoke because we'll have a DJ going the whole day. We'll have a DJ like.
Speaker3: Did you make sure that she has karaoke?
Speaker1: Yes, I did.
Speaker2: I actually did.
Speaker1: And, not only that, we also have a glory hole. We got a glory wall coming up. So there is going to be a glory hole that people can participate in accordingly. So you can be a giver or a taker, either one.
Speaker2: Duh.
Speaker1: If you want, you can run back and forth between sides.
Speaker2: Whatever you want to do, I don't know. We We'll figure it out That'd be kind of tricky But yeah So we're going to have DJs playing And music And there'll be Of course You can go get your Fucking noodle In the fucking Lake with the fucking Giant carp And catfish and shit And get pictures And Miller And people just kind of I know that we've got people going to Cody's we're going to smoke people smoking meats I mean Jesus good lord there's going to be just and there might even be people that will just chill out also I won't be one of them but so I think this year we're going to do some like we'll have some game stuff set up that people if they want to play then go play you know like we always do you know just kind of be out there and then i think we may do some like wet t-shirt contests and stuff like that some we may have some some smaller things like that so i don't know we're also going to have the um uh bucket list uh shit going on so we'll have the bucket list sign up and we got a lot to sign up that's one of the big things we got the the bucket list uh sign up yeah the drag races town yeah we're gonna overtake that's the we're we're taking over town and and uh that's gonna be fun so we got a bunch of shit but it's coordinating all this stuff and what i don't want to have to do is like i don't want any volunteers to leave going jesus christ all we did was going to work that was nice thanks cole dick you know so i don't know we got a bunch of knights and fucking cadets are going to be there yeah sort of kind of ish so i don't know and we got what food give up hands now we're not giving a food giveaway but we are giving away some food but a food pantry and shit so it's gonna be awesome so it's gonna I'm just fucking wigging out. I just got to make sure we have enough that I didn't fuck that part up. It's like before a wedding, when I do a wedding, that I'm afraid I'm going to fuck up the names. So, that's where I'm at now. Plus, here's the thing that just fucking hit me like an absolute sledgehammer today at one point in time, which is unbelievable because this has not hit me up until today. Literally, this hit me at about 1.30 a day. I was sitting there and all of a sudden I got super nostalgic. It's a 1.00. I got super nostalgic and kind of teary-eyed. I'm going to be 50. And I went, oh, fuck. I'm 50 at the end of this week. I'm 50 in 30 days. Oh, fuck. I took it hard. And I'm like, oh. And I just sat there. I sat there for like 40 minutes. I was doing some contracts and shit, looking at my computer. And I just was like, oh, this feeling of fucking total like, oh, shit, dread. Just covering it's like this time next month i will be 50 years old oh fuck and i just sat there and i like couldn't even concentrate i couldn't i was like nope not a big deal. Yep, we're good. Not a big deal. Start trying to do something. Fucking 50. Not, nope, not a big deal. That's like, oh, shit. So, yeah, it just, it, like, fucking, just a sledgehammer out of fucking, oh. I can laugh. Oh. Yep, you know, you can. You can, absolutely. You survived, didn't I? I did. This two-show passed. It did until three months after I turned. Good Lord. I had to come in. I tried to record. I had to record my rant and shit. And, like, I was going to have all this in way earlier. And I seriously couldn't. I had to sit there. I was like, what are you fucking doing, bitch? It is a little bit more sparkly. Yeah, it's gray. Trust me. I felt my fucking tits sag a little bit. I felt my fucking joints start to hurt more. And all of a sudden I was like, and my voice started to get shaky. No, I didn't. I didn't get one, but I was like, I felt the need to get more tattoos, pierce something else, and buy a sports car today that I have in, I don't know how long. I'm like, I gotta get, I gotta fuck a 20 year old.
Speaker1: I need a 20 something, I need 20 something year old pussy now.
Speaker2: I seriously sat there, that went through my brain. I'm like, can I put it on the page, looking for something under the age of 30 that wants to fuck, has daddy issues, please? Leap.
Speaker1: Because seriously, I'm like, oh, holy fuck. Yeah, I'm just saying, oh my god. I'm like, wow, i'm on the prowl for young pussy to make myself feel better neat good job so yeah there you go that's and what's really funny was it hit it even more because i was like uh getting ready to send an email to the guy that uh we're getting for you to make some more content with who's fucking like I think somewhere in his 20s. Maybe 30s but I think he's in his 20s. I think he's in his late 20s and it's like would you like to come to the old people's house and fuck this weekend? Will that work for you? That'd be great. Good lord. You know I used to have stamina and vigor like that too. Give me another injection. Let's see if this fucker will work now.
Speaker2: Anyways.
Speaker1: I don't taking. And you said, oh, I'll take it really quick. I think it hit me way before a month. Yes, because you weren't taking jokes.
Speaker2: Like when I was cracking jokes like a month, two months beforehand, like two months before you turned 50, or the boys were playing, you were like, fuck you. I mean, it wasn't like, oh, fuck off. No, it was like, fuck you. Shut up.
Speaker1: I'm not 50 yet.
Speaker3: I mean, you were not taking. Probably three months before and and three months after larry welcome to the male menopause and that's the fucking truth i i mean yeah but he has you have an excuse like a woman that said that you have a nut taken out uh so he was forced into it where was exactly. I've never had so much fun since I turned 50.
Speaker2: So there you go.
Speaker1: So there's, I know there's, you know, five more years for the movie discount. Yeah, no shit. Which is better than the next time I go.
Speaker3: What did you do to me this week? We were walking out of some restaurant, and you go, look, you only have a couple more years, and you get a discount.
Speaker1: You only have four more years, and you get a discount. Yeah, yeah. The difference is, you don't look at it. You can get rid of a shirt. I'm combing my hair i'm like i mean i won't do i won't wear sunglasses for this show this week and all of a sudden i'm looking i'm like oh fuck fuck no nope we're putting i i keep saying because of my hair and stuff with my beard so i kind of look like a younger version of robert plant now but a younger because he's like 20 years older than i am but it's like or 25 years older than I am and then I look without my glasses on I'm like nope we're gonna wear my glasses look at those like have the girl mentality all those years of smoke and age you so we just need to like we just need to get you but the thing is I can't push my forehead back or my hairline's already receding as it is. The last thing I'm going to do is pull that back or my hairline will start somewhere back in my... It's just a wow. I think it's our game part where we can just pull skin and paint. No shit, man. I'm telling you what. And it's stupid. I mean, but yeah, no. It's fucking... Yep. So, I'm not freaking out like I have been in the past. When I turned 40, I was a mess. Like, we couldn't have had this party when I turned 40. No. Because I was not taking, like. You took a horrible. You guys didn't know. You were concerned when the party, because you had a party for my 40th. You guys were concerned when I started drinking how you were watching me very closely. Because you knew that my 40th birthday party could go one of two directions that it could very easily go cole's being his regular fun drunk yay or cole's getting savvy crying his fucking eyes out of my turn it stayed happy for the most part yes there was one part you were way out of it well that was way stoned but that's all right uh i didn't have trouble with my age it's when i had to tell people how old my daughters are i don't feel like i should have daughters 32 30 28 in my mind i'm still in my 30s i hear you i'm right there with you i still have trouble with the memes it's like well 30 years ago the 70s as i'm watching shit on elvis because i'm an elvis fucking freak anyways and love elvis and that And that's like, hey, this is the 45th anniversary of Elvis' death this year. And July 3rd, because if you know me, you also know I'm a huge Doors fan. July 3rd was the 51-year anniversary of Jim Morrison's death. It's like, wow.
Speaker2: Fuck.
Speaker3: You weren't alive for that.
Speaker1: No, I wasn't. Elvis, I was. Elvis, I remember. So, yeah. so there you go. But I'm still, I'm up for taking jokes, because God knows I've dished it out really, really hard, so it's only fair that I take it, but it's not like a total, you know, implosion type thing. Because in my 40s, it was like, oh my God, you know, I've accomplished nothing. My life is a fucking joke. What the hell?
Speaker3: It still is.
Speaker1: Okay, cracking jokes is not the same as just fucking seeing if we can make me depressed and suicidal. But it's not like that.
Speaker3: It was a joke, and you know it.
Speaker1: I don't. It hurts. Anyway, so here's the hard part about man menopause, because that's a great thing to put it. When you're a fucking swinger, how do you have a midlife crisis? Let's see. I already can have sex with other people and have fucked people in their 20s, which is awesome.
Speaker2: Younger, yeah.
Speaker1: Younger, and it's still a possibility, because now I know the key magic phrase with that. Daddy issues. I can take and not have a real job and have my nails painted and my hair long and all the shit i did in college my job is sex and pornography basically and and sex positive adult it's it's like oh i have a midlife crisis what am i gonna do gonna cut my hair and wear a suit i mean i don't even know what i i don't know how to have a midlife crisis with this shit hey and right now if you're listening what does any of this have to do with being a swinger it has everything to do with being a swinger this is the you get look i'm talking to a pr firm right now and they just which i just got that email too right before it all hit me you know so i'm like so that was nice is you know their job their job is to to tell you how they can fucking wow you with what they can do better right that's what a pr is from that's what they're gonna do because if your shit's all right you don't need them so but they just i mean just everything's like needs an immediate you know it needs an immediate upgrade and uh's the word i used i told you that um frocking not frocking starts with the what is it update chat oh it needs immediate updating and revamping and i'm just like all this that we've been working on for fucking six years you know so but you sit there and you i just go okay you know the concept of like starting over i'm like i'm fucking 50 years old you know yeah wow you just it just i'm sitting there looking at this going i'm gonna revamp everything maybe they can revamp my life too that'll be perfect fire that up again the key phrase is daddy issues that's the shirt i'm gonna that's the shirt I want you to make for me for my birthday. Is what? It says, hi, my name is Cole. Do you have daddy issues? And we just wear that fucker around nonstop. See, I already got some other wake call because, seriously, we're not doing the 50 shots. We're going to do the 50 shots, but it's going to be. Yeah, we are, but I'm just going to drink. It's going to be. Well, I'm still going to drink other shit, too. We know me. Well, yes, we need water. Well, not just. You know what I mean. But it's part of because even that I got told, you know, you really need to be. You know, I got that reminder at the doctors of, okay, well, even. Because I said, well, it's going to be over like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I got this. I understand that. This is from a doctor who's partied with me when i was in my 20s you're still not in your 20s anymore so even when you spread it out over four days your body doesn't deal with the same way it did when we were kids thanks appreciate appreciate that i have a special glass it'll all be good i'll monitor it really really close can't have daddy issues of your same age i lie to me just lie to me that's all right that's that's all uh yeah okay i only have 15 birthdays what do you hit 60 uh actually i i got to thinking today that's funny that elton said that because tom cruise just turned 60 i'd still do him right i would hope so because there's money there but anyways uh yeah but the thing is i'm like well tom cruise and i shared them but the difference is i don't think that i'm physically at the point of doing doing uh some of those stunts of course yesterday we go a walk. And what does my lovely darling wife say to me? Now, okay, little miss, eat healthy because she's doing porn now, which is smart. And she wants to look good and she wants abs. She's getting all that shit.
Speaker3: No, besides the porn, my goal is to have a fucking six pack. I've always wanted one. I'm going to fucking get one.
Speaker1: Here's the thing, Shelly. They're not a vanilla PR firm. They're actually all adult people, all porn stars. Yeah, they're all porn people. But, okay, but regardless, okay, so you're doing all these things and you want to do this, but we signed up for the half marathon. Correct. And so Little Miss fucking Cunt Nugget over here has to go, well, are we sure? Have you checked with the doctor? Have you checked with Dr. Cody to make sure that you can do the half marathon? What? Have you checked to make sure you're hard? I need to know. I need to know. Am I going to have to stop? Are you going to have a heart attack? It wasn't with checking with the doctors if you're going to start training or are you just going to get out there and try to run and see if you can keel over? Because, you know, if that's the case, I need to update who your immediate contact is. Somebody's still bitter because one time I did that and I did it very, very well. You did. And it pissed me off. Yeah, so let's not be a hater. Now, I can tell you right now. Now, it's not until October, so we're getting there. If it was today, I'd be fucking toast. I'd be like, oh, yeah, fuck that shit. I'd be calling one of my kids going, sneak me to the other side and don't tell your mother. Look, I got my medal. I need to get here sooner or later. We'll be taking the 360 off our phones during that thing, so you don't can't. What do you mean he's on O Street? What the fuck's he doing out there? You'll be be calling the boys put your dad back on the race course and leave him alone i can hear that shit i don't this is very real shit man it's really funny okay i can tell you this i never envisioned how there's a lot of parts of our life that is so fucking beyond cool that anything that i anticipated when we were in our 50s seeing Okay, so we were, how old were we met? 19 and 20, right? Were you 21 already when we met? No. No, I turned 21 when I went home. You went home that summer, that's right. So we were 19 and 20 when we met. I can honestly say you look at our lives now. we did not envision our lives at 51 you did not envision your life that oh hey you need to get the full porn video off so you can get it on your OnlyFans page and who you're going to fucking shoot content with this next weekend for your porn stuff you did not envision at 21 20 years old at 51 you would be
Speaker3: doing this. I wish I would have envisioned it because I would have started way sooner.
Speaker1: Actually I found a new porn site we need to get you on.
Speaker3: Oh good god.
Speaker1: No it's like the casting couch Thank you. be doing this i wish i would have envisioned it because i would have started way sooner no actually i found a new porn site we need to get you on oh good god it's like no it's like the casting couch but it's one and they go it's for older it's like i watched one last night research purely research she was 49 and stuff and you know why do you want to do this well i've always thought i wanted to try this and shit i'm gonna do it the opposite i seriously am i'm gonna do a casting couch where it's a female and the guys have to interview well there you go they're sitting there looking all shamefully and going you don't you haven't watched very much because there ain't nothing shameful about it when they're sucking goblin a knob just saying i'm still gonna put a i'm gonna do that Take a picture of me on the cast couch Like I did with you So put on there To see what kind of response is going This is the kind of shit that you do This is what makes fucking our life awesome Yeah See we need to have We're going to have I've already planned this out Sorry Because I have shit to do for after In between you know Crazy Seminites Crazy Winter Nights We're actually We're actually going to put on A seminar For people Older people Us older folks In the swinging community Getting into swinging later in life
Speaker2: Thank you. we're actually going to put on a seminar for people, older people,
Speaker1: us older folks in the swinging community to get into swinging later in life.
Speaker3: Most of us get into swinging later in life.
Speaker1: Not anymore. You know how many young fucking kids are out there?
Speaker3: Well, that's them. I just wish we had.
Speaker2: What?
Speaker1: I wish you'd been into it, too.
Speaker3: I wasn't.
Speaker2: I know.
Speaker1: You didn't think there was any reason to fuck anybody else but me. You're right. Now you're just fucking other people in case I drop dead. When you were in the dorm, I remember a girl taking me out, and we were making out with other guys. Yeah, and you told me that. You tried to make me jealous and it didn't work. No, I wasn't trying to make you jealous, but he's a really good kisser. And I was like, yeah, cool. What his name was, I have no idea. Good girl, see, you were practicing ahead of time. There you go, this is the way this all works. like yeah what his name was i have no idea good girl see you were practicing there you go this way this all works no clue what his name like i'm gonna remember 30 years later you remember my fucking name i'm so unforgettable that's why let's take a quick break real quick is it that time it is it is that time what if we're talking about getting old motherfucker what else you wanted old are you so old you're forgetting already anyways hey don't forget to check out fullswapradio.com or get the app for that FS radio and that's on either Apple or on Android you can get the app for that 65 of the top shows actually some of the very top shows in the adult alternative and sex positive lifestyle shows Actually, some of the top shows, actually some of the very top shows in the Adult Alternative and Sex Positive Lifestyle shows, actually some of the top shows just in podcasts in general are on there. So check them out. We're growing every day. And don't forget also that we do have Vanilla Sundays. So we have some regular shows that run on Sundays on Full Swap Radio, which is bad house. And if you'd like to have your business advertised and uh thousands upon thousands of people each and every day and each and every week then take and give us a contact call today at full swap radio and we'll get y'all hooked up cough gags butter hold on i'm gonna cough some more all right let's take a question from our fucking listeners, watchers, viewers, people. Do you remember what Mike said? What? Did you read it? I might have missed it. I don't know. It was about screaming. Oh, okay, okay, yeah. No idea what that is, but I'm pretty sure you can read that later. Yeah, later. That would be drama shit, I'm sure. That's what we do. Okay, so we're going to take a question. So for those of you who don't know, we do this in front of our live Facebook fan page, or fan page, Facebook page, which have a lot of our listeners on it, which we love very much. Kaz Bank, shh, secret page, don't tell the others. And Mike had had a great question. Well, I can't find it. it Mike put the question on again about the yellers and screamers or how do you deal with people that scream in a no screaming or when people can hear or something we're doing something different I love doing when we do stuff different. That's what makes it fun. Just live shit off the cuff. I don't know where it went. Mike, you're going to have to tell us again. You got to give it to us one more time. Where did that go? What the hell? What is your favorite memory love the experiences okay so travis put uh love the experiences uh of the lifestyle great friends and memories what is your favorite memory for us in the last 11 years in the lifestyle oh i know mine this is i don't know it's like family Feud. Okay, what is it? Mine was the first time We hooked up with the three couples The two other couples So the first real The first real group sex thing We ever did It was hot as fuck We had no idea What was going on And it wasn't supposed to be that way And it just kind of like Fucking stumbled into it And it was like a fluke And ended up and it was fucking awesome and it was insane that's mine it was pretty erotic yeah what's yours hurry you ask the question before we lose it i have no idea okay well there's gonna be like a menu travis we'll come back to that okay you'll be thinking about that i'll be pondering okay my guess how do you deal with a screamer with no volume control when the venue is not appropriate Ha ha ha but I think that's really fucking hot. So that would actually make me fucker harder, just saying, because I'd be getting off on that I would be It is what it is I don't know Choking Well there was one time we were in a hotel And I guess I can give his name since he's no longer here Yeah We were hooking up with Ernie Yeah And I was drunk And I guess I got really loud I don't get loud But I got loud that night You got loud enough Ernie and I were both like shut up Ernie was cracking the jokes He was like this is not going to look good Because Ernie was a black guy And Ernie was just awesome This is not going to look good if the cops show up And a black guy is fucking a white woman And she's yelling that's exactly what he said And I think I was taking a drink, and I started to laugh so fucking hard, and nose blowing water. He quit fucking you because he started laughing, too. We were both laughing, and we're like, okay, shh. So, yeah. I think the biggest thing is, you know, seriously, sometimes fucking just let it rip. I would probably try to shush. I've slowed down down I've said to a girl stop it we're gonna get fucking thrown out quit and I'll stop for a little second but most times then it's like once I'm into it too then fuck it I'm okay I guess depending on what you're doing you can't like stop abruptly and say you have to be quiet it depends what she's yelling if she's yelling help fire or something like that hand over the mouth or just stop pull out pull out you know something like that but otherwise like uh i don't know look here there's a whole thing called sex dogging which is public sex and getting caught in the whole nine yards just roll with it see what happens but make sure you document her face make sure you make her answer the door when the police knock on the door or when the hotel manager knocks on the door. That's what I would do. Just saying. I hope that helped. Actually, just go to all events. It's appropriate to y'all. Amanda just sent one. What are you most excited about for the upcoming KSN event? They're going to be there. They're excited. They're jazzed. I don't know. What are you excited about for KSN? This agreement is like for it to be there. They're excited. They're jazzed. So, I don't know. What are you excited about for KSN? This agreement is like for it to be over when I'm still alive.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: No.
Speaker3: It's an entire weekend event where you really can't escape much. So, as soon as you step outside your camp or your tent, whatever, you're in the midst of everybody. I don't know. can't escape much so as soon as you step outside your camp or your tent whatever you're in the midst of everybody so to me it's actually a blast talking with everybody having fun with everybody and it's like it's a it's an ambiance yeah that is different than a hotel party And hotel party everybody's like You're still on a mission but you're there Out in the open everybody's
Speaker1: There's no doors
Speaker3: Yeah
Speaker1: I mean look even as you're walking through Even as you're walking through the campground Doesn't matter if it's during the day or at night Because there'll be people fucking all the time You can see renting tents Because it's hot during the day so people have their tent flaps on Thank you. It doesn't matter if it's during the day or at night, because there'll be people fucking all the time. You can see running in tents, because it's hot during the day, so people have their tent flaps on, so it's like a constant show, and there's people you'll walk by, and it's, yeah, literally, once you step out into it, it's like you step into this different world, and you're just immersed in it. Because it doesn't have the same feel as a hotel party. There is no start and stop. There is no start and stop. Like, okay, well, this activity is kind of ending, and it's like, because we have it set up so there's not, we're not like, it's not like super rigid. Okay, now this activity goes from here and now stop, put that away. It's not like that. It just has a flow. So all of a sudden, it's like, oh, hey, we're announcing the winner of the cornhole oh hey now there's people fucking we're doing a wedding ceremony because we've got a couple weddings we're gonna be doing you know oh hey now we've got no one goes around with a bullhorn because if you're in the middle of something finish what you're doing join it later the coolest thing is you'll see people like okay the part that got me off the most last year that I loved was I was talking in front before we started one of the contests. And there were people hanging in the pools. It just looked all, you know, it was just badass. It was just really badass. Hold on, Amanda. Okay, so read Amanda's question. Okay, so are people still pretty respectful about asking before touching? Absolutely they are. It's not a free-for-all. They're not going to come up and expect that they can just fuck you because you're just standing around naked. That's not how it works. One thing, and this is the other part that's so cool about ksn is also as well is because look we we are still yeah i'm gonna be drinking yeah we're gonna we we still have people and you and i are still very much in control of what's going on so just like anywhere you can have you can have the the something happen right at any event but we want you to come to us immediately because it's still not tolerated but what's so cool about ksn it is it is a community it and that carries through and over and so that degree of respect if you can't find us you find one of my knights you find barry you find one of my my cadets and you'll let them know they'll come find us and we take care of the problem but i can honestly say in four this will be fourth and all the years we've been doing it with all the degree of nakedness all the degree of drunkenness all the degree of activities we have not had any incidences i you know there there's been a there's always a couple there's always a couple where you know hey you got it enough you know we got to think but usually a more times than not what has happened the most i don't even think you've had that you just say that no what we've had what we've had the one thing that's happened in the pool it's happened it's happened at each each one of them and i promise it's gonna happen this time in the pool too guaranteed is that people in the pool and there's a shit ton of people in the pool and somebody if they're sure they go bopping up to somebody that they think you've done that i did it last year i did it also i totally because the girl she had her back to you she had my back her back to your height your hair color and i walked right up and just walked right up right around and grabbed her boobs i was like hey and she turns she's like oh hey i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry that happens that absolutely happens and i was like oh my god Thank you. I was like, hey, and she turns, she's like, oh, hey, and I'm like, oh, my God, I am so sorry. That happens. That absolutely happens. And I was like, oh, my God, everybody had a good laugh because they're like, holy shit. And a couple other people were like, yep, happened. That's probably the worst that happens that I've seen. So, no, it's. And if there's an orgy going on outside, they might invite you in. You don't ever go on. Yep, don't go without that. But trust me, we've seen shit, Melee is breaking out. Yeah, we have. And people walking by and I'm going, hey, do you want to join in? Come on over. I mean, what is so fucking awesome, it is a community. And seriously, it's just a flow to it. I encourage each and every one of you that are going to KSN to do this. I don't know, midnight, around between midnight and one. One of the two nights or three nights of you there, just be really, really quiet. Kind of stay in the middle of the campground and listen. Because it is nothing hotter when you just hear this, and it's just coming from all around. You'll occasionally hear that, cramp, man, down. You'll occasionally hear that, too. It's just fucking awesome. And hopefully, I'm trying to get my bell out there this year for the bucket list bell. We want to have the bucket list bell going Because we want to make it so people Get something on the bucket list they want to do And there's somebody else that wants to help them accomplish that They can ring the bell The big thing is though This is going to sound weird coming from me Don't be nervous Don't be as naked Or as not naked as you want to be you know what no one look here's the deal i promise you no one will make fun of you for not being naked no because if they make fun of you for that they got to deal with me because i don't get naked all the way most of them very rarely although i'm on a mission you have gotten in the pool i have gotten in the pool there's a group there, and I'm going to remind them, that wanted to walk with you from one end of the campground to the other, holding hands naked. And the thing is, here's the deal. I'm making this commitment right now, loud and verbal. I will put it on the itinerary. Okay? I'm going to put it on the itinerary and I'm going to encourage every single other person, guy or girl, that is just as paranoid about being naked as I am. Because you're going to be hard-pressed to find anybody as paranoid about being naked as I am. No, there's a few. There's a few. I want to encourage, because, and you know what? I'd never ask anybody to do anything I won't do. So, we will put it on the it itinerary that we will have a walk across the camp fucking forever anybody wants to butt naked so you can chalk check it off your bucket list that you did it so uh picture of asses though yeah yeah post notes with wants needs ideas fantasies we can do that yep we can we can i'll have that i'll have a thing up inside for that so we can have that going in years oh my back ouch cramp my hammy i think i broke my penis uh okay so here's the other big question uh that people always ask about that crazy summer nights again pictures it's like any other event permission. And again, you know what, everybody? Everybody's very cool about that. Look, we've got the greatest fucking... Our people, this is something the PR firm is going to learn about us. Our people are some of the most respectful fucking people you'll ever meet in a lifestyle. I promise you. If you go to Naughty New Orleans going on this week or you go to in these events on the coast you will be hard-pressed to run into people as respectful of each other as they are in our group and we have seen that every single fucking year and people tell us that are looking in going wow yep and we take a ton of pride in that and we're in it and we appreciate it look this is i get the greatest gift every fucking year i get to party with my family and and with in this this year we're going to be close to 200 of my closest friends to turn 50. How many people get to do that? I mean, seriously. How many people get to get naked and party with 200 of your closest friends? Will this beat having lunch at Cinderella's Palace? Okay, it's going to beat lunch at Cinderella's Palace. It's going to beat going through the White House. Don't take this the wrong way. It's not going to be going to Graceland. It'll be a close second, but nothing's going to be going to Graceland. He's all we do for his birthday. He goes places. He hasn't, too, with a little kid. It's just that little kid. We used to take a two-week family vacation, so I've had my birthday at Niagara Falls, in Yellowstone, in Cinderella's Palace, both Florida and California, whatever, but Graceland still. But this is a close fucking second, just saying. Now, if we could have a fucking naked event at Graceland. Somebody had just texted me the other day. We were laughing back and forth. Tracy and I were. Because her birthday is Elvis's, on the day of Elvis's birthday. They have a big thing on his birth week, too. She wants to go, and I said, yeah but we're laughing if we could ever like if i could fuck it graceland oh yeah that that i don't i don't think there's anything that could top that for me seriously talk about paying tribute to the king just saying oh yeah laying a fucking bitch in the jungle room. Oop, oop. Anyway. I bet Priscilla didn't do that, motherfucker.
Speaker2: You don't know that. I don't know. You never know.
Speaker1: Okay.
Speaker2: We don't want everyone to know she has a multi-guy come on her tits fantasy. Bukkake. Bukkake.
Speaker1: We can do that.
Speaker2: We can do that. We're going to make sure. Look, the biggest thing that we've got every year out of this, we've had multiple people come and go, oh, my God, I've always wanted to do accents on their bucket list. If we can make that happen, we want to make that happen for people. Absolutely. Okay, so, and we're also going to have to board for some of our divas. Shelly, FYI, I'm a diva without a camper this year. I will be tent camping, but I'm a baker and will trade goodies for AC, cinnamon rolls, banana bread, French toast, you name it. You bring some cinnamon rolls, you can hang out in our camper for a while. So, obviously, we will also, okay, so here's where we're going to have two boards. Because you're not the only one. There's a whole bunch of people because we went out of camper spaces. So, what we're going to do is we're going to put up a board like a, like, we do like an ebay auction board for like so many hours or minutes and acs people with campers can put what bids and people can decide if they want to fucking pay the price i don't know look you can always hang out down in the lake pool that's just saying and look i've been instantly people are already like i can tell you her shit is fucking awesome just so you know that's fucking awesome it's going to be Amanda are you excited or are you still on hopefully she's still on because they're pretty excited for some reason I thought I met them there but I don't think I did one year but I think this is their first year of going so they're all all kind of excited. It's going to be so much fun. I'm actually really looking forward to it. Once I get into it. Okay, I'm going to tell you right now. If you try to communicate with me. She's stoked. Awesome. That's what I like to hear. If you try to talk to me like the week before. Yeah, don't. Probably not a really idea. Understand, if you talk to me, however I respond to you, unless you come bearing cakes or blowjobs, I'm probably going to fucking snap at you. But once I actually get there, and once we get into them, I kick into party mode pretty fucking fast. And so... At least we'll have a day to lead up to that. I heard need to bring a naughty nurse costume Okay, so Shut up Would you rather have it naked? She can bring it She doesn't have to wear it She can just show it to me And put it on the floor And we can go from there i just if yeah just bring the hat cole might have a slight fetish for nurses just saying you keep saying that just a scoach and i like blondes just a scoach so here's the deal because it is awfully going to be awfully warm because it is august if you bring if you wear a nurse's hat when you read the disclaimer that you'll have to sign to get into crazy summer nights you'll notice there'll be a separate spot i would read that because the spot where there's initials might have to be something in there about if you wear a fucking nurse's a nurse's hat you might have to because i might have to buy one cool cannot be cannot be held responsible for... You are giving Cole immediate consent. I have a fake stethoscope. I'll go to Goodwill, buy some scrubs, cut them off into shorts and something sexy, and then we can wear that around. Yeah, look, I'm not even going to lie to you. Don't, so the thing is, you know, because obviously I absolutely believe in consent. And so, depending on how many drinks my consent may sound more slurred than normal. I'm going to carry a sign like Wile E. Coyote. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a sign so I make sure I get it right. If you walk up to me in a nurse's hat or nurse's anything i'll hold him a sign that says can i touch you okay because just know no matter what if you're going i don't know i wonder if cole would want to do you think cole would want to do you think cole would be interested the answer i'm telling you right now is yes yes he would like to get a picture with you yes he would like to motorboat your boobs Yes he would like to touch you however you'll let him Just saying To entice you to walk across the campground naked So If there's a reverse gangbang at the other end of the At the other end of the campground for Cole's birthday Fuck yeah and if they're wearing nurses shit Okay Or small parts of nurses Something sexy. We've got a lot of nurses coming. I know. Look, here's the deal. If you're hot, it's my birthday. I'm pretty much interested regardless. Okay? You're naked. You're a chick. You're there. It's my birthday. I'm interested. So even if you're not a nurse. Oh, that's funny. It's, you know. You know you're like out of time. I don't want anybody to feel like, well, I'm not a nurse. That means he isn't interested. That's a complete lie. No, no, I was talking dress up this time. Just get a group of girls to, like, find some clothes to rip up to look like nurses, but, like, skankly. Wait a minute. What? See, we got to quit. This is why I'm having volunteers, so I can make sure I make it over to the campground next year, this year. All right. That's... I know. The McChrystals The McChrystall Is the Is the Orgy The orgy site The orgy site You need to put up a sign Well we knew that Two years ago You need to put a bell I need to get them a bell Like a dinner bell That when the orgy starts They just start ringing the bell It's like All the kids are like Yay Running out of school Running over to there We can set set a record well we're not busy we can set a record with what the biggest orgy yeah at a campground what's the biggest i don't know whatever somebody look that up what's the guinness world record at a campground we want to go at a campground make it specific because if it's just overall it's like 7 000 people like in vegas but if itground, well, now that could be a totally different thing. We were invited the first year. No, we weren't. Yeah, we were. Well, we were. We got grabbed, though. And I was like. We were being. We were being, because we're always grabbed. Understand. Okay, this is the other thing I'm going to put out real quick. We saw it when we were hauling ass across the camp. No, shit. And it's like, oh, I feel like my dog's whimpering. I'm like, I want to play. Okay, just so everybody, we have to put this out here, too, right now.
Speaker1: Again, the reminder.
Speaker2: At our events, if you come in to talk to us, or, look, I'll make out with anybody any chance I get. Just an FYI. Just come over and just start kissing me.
Speaker1: But if you come grab us and, like, you feel like we're just, like, sprinting away, don't take that personal. No. That is, it's because we are running amok a little bit. That's how you're labeled a bitch. Yeah, no shit. No shit. But hopefully, with the volunteers, which they always help us, but people always step up, but understand, don't take it personal. Well, hopefully it'll be way more relaxed if you have volunteers. It will be. I'm going to work. It may not be as flashy as some of our other events, but I'm going to work this year on trying. Oh, that's pretty good. Trust me, I got some shit planned. I'm going to try to make it so that I'm going to only turn 50 once. Fuck, I may drop dead after this. I'm on the downhill slide for fuck's sakes. So I need to make the most of this. So, yeah, we have an actual nurse coming that's bringing IV bags to give me IVs if I need them on Saturday and Sunday morning. So we're planning to have fun. So, yeah. So here's the thing. There are still available so there's still room so let's bring it kids and we'll have fun wow, we didn't accomplish it what a great show, this show was awesome great, this show was fun okay, so with that being said I do need to give our sponsors a good shout out Smart Swingers, what they do they read asn lifestyle magazine three million readers can't be wrong check them out today quite honestly if you really want to be up to date with so much of the adult uh world as well as the swinging world events parties and and whatnot asn lifestyle magazine is the way to do that also if you like uh facebook but you want something you can get a little more dirty raunch, and have a little bit of fun for free, Smutify.com, S-M-U-T-T-Y-F-Y.com. When you get there, our group's up to 400 on Smutify right now. Go find Crazy Casbah and join our group there on Smutify. And also, again, we are still extremely proud to be teamed up with and be working with Nightcaps. Safety. It's something we believe in bigger than life. The Drink Spiking Prevention Scrunchies, nightcaps.com.
Speaker2: Check them out.
Speaker1: Don't forget to use the promo code, nightcap10 slash casbahinc to get your discount on those. And if you want one, look, these are also great for camping. FYI, keeps bugs out. If you want one, let me know.
Speaker2: We'll see you next time. slash casbah inc to get your discount on those and if you want one look these are also great for camping fyi keeps bugs out if you want one let me know uh we'll still do that i'll still uh do the specials i was doing with them for our group because i love you guys and it's important to us so uh don't forget to follow us on you can hit all of our websites crazycasbah.com uh again the radio station don't forget to check out full swap shop get all your merchandise send us emails at crazy.casma.gba.com. Again, the radio station. Don't forget to check out Full Swap Shop. Get all your merchandise. Send us emails at Crazy.Kazba at gmail.com. Follow our YouTube channel, please. YouTube.com backslash Kazba. You can follow us on Twitter, at Truth Crazy. And don't forget to follow Miss Amanda. And don't forget also, kids, I'm telling you, Miss Amanda, I have some serious hardcore shit lined up that Miss Amanda is going to be doing. What do I mean by hardcore shit? Miss Amanda, we've got it set up that later this summer is going to be shooting with some actual very well-known porn stars for her OnlyFans pages. So you want to sign up and become a member of her OnlyFans page, which is OnlyFans, what's your fucking OnlyFans? Miss Amanda Kazma. Miss Amanda Kazma, so sign up today. So, with all that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever motherfucking will.
Speaker1: Kazma Style, out.
Speaker2: Bye.