Krazy Truth #191 The Krazy before a big event

Transcript

hey kids the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations adult language themes and other adult topics if you're easily offended this show is not for you hey you crazy no i'm just kidding i just wanted to see if you were listening hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth i've just now blown up all of our equipment that is so fucking funny you need to turn this down this is hot even me away from it oh my god because you're fucking loud that was awesome okay here's the deal if you are not a member of our fucking uh if you're not watching our shit on youtube you need to because watching miss amanda jump through the goddamn roof was fucking amazingly epic with that anyways hey it's season five i told you there's big changes in season five there's one here comes the fucking thumper i couldn't get it blocked off oh hold on we're gonna we're gonna pause one quick second where we're taking Hoppy's trying to hop his way in with his three-legged dog anyways so it is it is season it is season five uh this is episode 191 and um yeah this is uh we're here we're ready to go going to get divorced right before KWN.

She's got my mic so fucking hot. It's funny, but I actually can't wait to replay that and watch her fucking jump. So, uh, we lost some people with that. Anyways, um, she's trying to put up the gate here. And so we're getting right. Here she comes now. So I'm your host with the most. I'm Cole. And I'm here with the lovely, lovely and slightly terrified Miss Amanda. You're still talking loud. And slightly terrified Miss Amanda. Hey! Do we have the right line? Yes. Yeah, we do. They're the same ones we've been using for five fucking years. Mine's wet, remember? Anywho, so yeah.

Quick, before we get started, a quick shout-out from our paid sponsors. Smart Swingers Read, do they? Sure they do. What do they read? They read asnlifestylemagazine.com. Check it out. Three million swingers can't be wrong. Big thing's coming up in 2022.

You'll want to make sure you're checking out're checking out asn lifestyle magazine just saying uh also don't forget full swap shop that's right you've read the mag you listen to the show come on fuckers don't be cheap go buy some swag fullswapshop.com where you get all your greatest latest swinger gear and apparel and finally full swap radio network you know what we are changing the way you're listening to the lifestyle you can catch our show there which is awesome and 43 others uh out there as well uh mike feel free to go ahead and motorboat away so for those of you don't know we do record our show live in front of our cool huge what are you fucking doing you're kicking me cunt live in our cool studio on a casbah audience uh our secret facebook group shh don't tell the others i think we've made a horrible decision on recording now from everything i can tell currently this show has completely gone off the rails and we've been going for exactly i forgot to write down how long ago we started three minutes.

Excellent. So, yeah. Oh, it'll be fine. Oh, yeah. It's kind of like Crazy Winter Nights. This is our big pre-Crazy Winter Nights show. Yeah, where we're fucking looping and insane. No shit. You know, there was this time many, many moons ago. Sit back, kids. Curl up with a book and a hot cocoa. Come let Grandpa Cole tell you a story. Grandpa Cole. Shut up. I got gray hair kind. Anyway, there was this time many, many years ago, five years ago, it would have been January 17th, five years ago. That had been 19, but it was 22, so it had been 2017.

Anyways, where Grandpa Cole and Grandma Amanda set at the kitchen table. I'm not a grandma. You have gray hair. Set at the kitchen table after an exhaustion crazy in winter nights and went, should we keep doing this or should we go ahead and pull the plug and call it good? And just end crazy Casbah. The original thing was, for those of you who don't know the story, this is interesting. Before Crazy Winter Nights, I was actually going to, was pondering stopping Crazy Casbah altogether. And we decided not to. We decided we were going to wait. And then for the next two weeks, we talked about it.

And we were like, what should we do? And we made the decision, go big or go home. And we were taking it all the way. And here we set time. Two people who started off with no gray hair five short years ago. Gray and decrepit and crazy, as batshit crazy as you can get. And, yeah. And do you have your tickets yet? And here's what's funny.

What you guys need to see, this is what we should sell tickets for seriously we should sell tickets to the chasbah zoo which what that would be is you get to go past we'd like put a piece of plastic up our in our bedroom in our room like in our hotel room and you can walk by the glass and see me at let's see about two o'clock sat morning. Or about, no, it'll be about 4 o'clock Saturday morning in the morning after Crazy Winter Night's over. And you can see. That would be Sunday. Well, Sunday, whatever. So you can see my hair will be a different shade of gray.

The wrinkles will be deeper than ever. And the exhaustion.

The last one, we had girls in our room, girls and a guy and we didn't even fuck and they wanted to talk and it was just like okay and it was like four o'clock in the morning and we're just sitting there and we're like yeah yes brie you can have a kangaroo that's my girl but what but here's here's the thing is when you're sitting there when you're walking past please feed the animals when you're walking past you have to listen very carefully because if you listen you'll hear the sound of the coal loon as he sits and goes next year at crazy winter nights we're gonna blah and that's the part where we it's that moment of delusion and delirium that the next year's child is born it's like out of the after birth and goo of crazy winter nights we scoop all that goo up we put into a big sloppy messy snowball squish it and put it in a bag can shake it up and out we squirt out Crazy Winter Nights the next Crazy Winter Nights coming out so it's like a condom filled with Crazy Winter Nights the next year you are such a dork what's that after last fuck off oh my god yes so the last one which was 2020 yep right before the pandemic started that was a monster one and it was exhausting and we're going back to that and we will go back to next year because it's larger staff because that is Look, it killed me.

A staff. A staff. It killed me. It cost me a nut. I blew a nut. No, I didn't. Actually, not even a month later. Not a month later. Two weeks later, I did blow a nut. But it killed me to not have Crazy Winter Nights last year. Yeah, it did.

And it sucked because this year we had to wait till literally the very last possible minute to pull the trigger i'm already working trust me you don't even want to know where all the fucking shenanigans go in my brain you guys have to know something okay for those that weren't crazy winter nights three years ago outside the hotel we stood at was the giant hotel across the street. And I was standing there, we were smoking, and it was you and some of our other admins. And I said, fucking next year, that's ours. That bitch is ours. And everybody said it. No. No way, Cole. No.

And what the fuck did we do? You did it. We fucking did it. Now, here's what I'm saying now. I want a fucking boat, bitches. This shit, I'm taking over the fucking world. I'm just saying. Anyways, so yeah, it's going to be- No running to furries. Stop it. No, no. We don't have time to go furry hunting, but it's sure on the agenda for next year. Well, but it goes with the zoo. Okay. Crazy, crazy summer nights, we could have fucking furry hunting. There you go. Be very, very quiet. We're hunting furries. Of course the dogs don't work. Anyways. Yeah. All right. Perfect.

See, this show is a shit show completely off the road. Just shut the door. Fuck it. You want to shut the door? Why don't you talk for a second while I shut the door? No, he'll shut up eventually. Okay. Well, we can do that too. All right. So, with crazy winter nights coming up this weekend and all the sh shenanigans we're gonna talk more about it uh a bit here because it's kind of the whole thing but this is like this show is about why not to be afraid of events okay right that that is the focus point is why big events can be awesome yes awesome. Awesome, so awesome, so awesome.

I'm kind of like a Muppet. Anyways, I feel like Peanut right now. Why didn't you share whatever you took? I don't know, because I didn't even realize I took it. That's just it. I absorbed it through my skin. I'm like not liking my hair. I thought it was just a toad, so I licked it.

That was off a family guy it was but i would lick a toad well no that's real life you can lick a toad and get high oh yeah not not just like random toads you gotta have specific toads there's like fishing toads and petting toads and licking toads you gotta don't confuse it there is no there is too there yes you can't there are toads that you can lick like on the Amazon That they eat and lick these toads To get high Yes it's true You don't just randomly pick up A random toad and lick it I mean there are toads out there That you can lick and get high Yes Yes it's true Is it about like Licking Prince Charming You don't know it yet It's Look I'm telling you what Anybody who can convince some bitch That it's not kiss the prince to get it, it's blow the prince, that wins.

The magic's in the sperm. Anyways, so the thing is, we're hearing again, a lot of people are like totally, see, Amy said, it's right, I bet they're in Mexico, aren't they? I bet there's licking toads in Mexico. You said Amazon and whatever. Well, I got part of it right, shut up, Leave me alone. Okay. So the thing is, we've heard people, and we're starting to hear people that are a little nervous because this event, I think people are a little surprised this year. I'm a little surprised how big KWN is going to be. We went back in time, right?

We don't have the distractions, man's like it's it's straight up it is what it is so and it's growing massively like a giant cock that's being toggled and it's just you know actually before we talk about anything productive in any way shape or form are you gonna say anything during this show how can i we'll just jump in there we have celebrities gonna be there oh that reminds me carrie no wrong thing wrong person hold on that's my own note about about raffle tickets nikki from dear nikki is gonna be there yes okay and she is running a contest because she has two VIP tickets, dinner tickets.

One of them is hers. So if you are a fan of hers and you would like to get a chance to go to dinner with her, to the VIP dinner with Nikki from Dear Nikki, okay, you just need to send me, what do you need to send me? What did she say? Let's see. You can either send me or her either a confession or a bad dad joke. And she will reach out to the person by the 13th. So if you're going to Crazy Winter Nights or you want a chance to go to Crazy Winter Nights Saturday, the VIP package with Nikki from Dear Nikki, reach out to her or me and send us either a confession or a bad dad joke. There you go.

Because we've got all kinds of real famous people there. I'm going to be there. Okay. Because Nikki's going to be there from Dear Nikki. She has a huge fan base. She has a huge fan base. Ariel, from the show Malice, which is on our Full Swap Radio, I think she actually has a crime show.

Her show was just picked up by, they actually reached out, Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, started a podcast service down there and reached out to her personally to get her show on his podcast service in the Dallas Mavericks started a podcast service down there and reached out to her personally to get her show on his podcast service in the Dallas area. Rock on. So she's going to be up here. We have got Don and Sin are going to be up here from Sinful Ladies and Kinky Framing Mine. Okay. They're going to be up here. So there's like celebrity people everywhere.

There's going to be, you know, all over. Wait a minute. I don't know what's going on, but all of a sudden Amy's sad sad and talking about A Little Mermaid. Are we looking at mermaids now? What's going on? What? Anyways, okay. Talking toads and shit. So, I don't know where any of that was going. That their celebrity's going to be there. Yeah. Where else was that going? What the hell else were you doing? I don't know. It's going to be fun. Look, it's going to be, it's old school. It's like a dance. It's like, it's going to be a great time. We're actually, we are, we've blown, blown up.

Blowned up. Is that even a word? No. No. Blown up. Blown up. I do speeches for a living. Oh, shit. Holy fuck. Anyways, we're like, we're closing in. We're making a run for 400 people for saturday night right now believe it or not and we're like 250 for friday night so that's gonna be for the pre-party so and here's the now we here's here's the thing we had a simple goal after we had that little that that meeting where those two people talked about whether we should do with CASBA back in the day, oh, so very long ago. You have to remember when we did that, CASBA was new.

CASBA had only been around since March. That's true. And it was December. It was the week before Christmas. And so we hadn't been around for a long time. We were like, whatever. You had like 600 people in the face. Yeah, exactly. No, we didn't. We had hit, we had just, we just crossed 500 the day of Crazy One. It was a big deal that I announced that I was so giddy we'd hit 500 because I said it couldn't be done. But so back then, you know, Casbah was new and we decided the goal was simple. We just wanted to take over the world. And that was it.

We just want to take over the swingers world which has not changed and to take over the world all you need is an army which we now have but an army needs great leaders now here's the other reason why what we do is so fucking badass compared to everybody else i got the sexiest fucking leadership of any fucking group out there. My army will kick your army's ass. One, because my army looks hotter than your army, and two, my army's cooler. And my cadets, my leaders, all 16 of them are going to be at Crazy Winter Nights. Woo-woo.

That is a whole lot of fucking hotness going to be at Crazy Winter Nights. Yes. And, yeah. And I fully intend to get some we're going to get some pictures uh with the uh with the uh young ladies we we have cadets we have cadets uh from minnesota nebraska iowa south dakota uh i believe we're going on kansas if i'm right i think well they're all over the damn place we've got it they're just they're everywhere. And all 16 of them are going to be here. And they're going to have their cadet cat... Sashes. Sashes on sachet. So this way they can take and they're going to be...

You can spot them easily and you can walk up to their sweet hotnesses and say hi. And they will say hi to you. They will talk to you and whatever. So this is a great chance. So to get all the – we've had pockets of cadets together at other events. But we're unleashing them all at one time. And, yes, I'm going to get one picture with all of my cadets, which is a total ego picture, okay? So my cadets need to know this.

And this is going to be one of my new profile profile pictures i'm getting a picture because i have a all black tux that i'm wearing saturday night i want one picture with me in the middle with all my cadets we can arrange it yeah i'm fucking giddy for that so and then we'll be sending out the thing ladies cadets so you all know what time reverse gang when we said to go. No, there's not going to be a reverse gangbang unless you want there to be. It is the holiday season. He jokes around about it. You want to know what's funny? I joke around about that.

If all those girls weren't like, okay, we're going to fuck. I know what would happen. I know what would happen. I'd be like, son of a bitch. No, don't run away, little buddy. No. Oh, no, Mr. Bill. It's like, yeah. I'd be like, can we have another event so that it'll work this time, I swear? I'll be running out. I'll be running out. You're so funny. I'll be running out. What am I going to do? Look at porn to get hard? Think about it. You have 16 cadets. 16 cadets that want to fuck you, and all of a sudden you're going to try to look at porn. That'll work. Okay. Womp. Yeah, just saying.

Now, ladies, if you're listening, that doesn't mean you're not allowed to try. God. You didn't notice I made you all sign waivers at one point in time, right? Remember, I'm broke, so whatever. No fair trying to sue Miss Amanda. It's her company. She made me do it We got awards I really want to announce The other award No No I can't do that yet But we've got awards That's going to be Fucking cool We're going Here's the I'm even going to Karaoke night. Sober. Yeah. Yep, I'm doing it. Wow. I'm doing it. Fuck yeah. We're going to go. We're going to go there. Go big and go on.

And now here's the other thing. You can actually get, and this is even, because this show will come out before KWN. Because this show will come out this Thursday. The day before. We're doing raffle tickets. And I'm giddy about our raffle. I got to tell you, I'm absolutely giddy about our raffle. Because we're giving away a motor bunny. That's the sound of the motor bunny. We're giving away Manscaped to, like, one of their, it's their Weed Whacker and their newest mower. Shaving your nuts and your junk.

We're giving away, we've got a pussy penis pack of snacks and treats you're like what that is from that was from uh a pussy penis pack yes yes from from shelly yes yep uh so and then we've also got a really cool i just got to see it today for the for the first time, a custom 20 by 20 oil painting by one of our sponsors. It's gorgeous, and she did a theme of Crazy Wonder Nights, which is really, really cool. I mean, it's been all seen hanging up anywhere, but it's really badass. So we've got that. We'll have some romantic gift cards.

have there's me just a plethora oh a big one of the big metal like this but just a finger big metal flick off fuck off sign uh going so the thing is you can get tickets five bucks for a ticket 20 this is looking funny in the video 20 20 or you can get five for 20 dollars so if you want those now here's the deal the cadets are running a contest so if you want you can reach out to one of the cadets reach out to one of the cadets and tell them you want tickets and we'll get you hooked up because the cadet there's a price for the cadet that sells the most tickets before crazy winter nights and then we'll also have uh you can also get tickets at crazy winter nights as well now the other thing we're doing because again this is what this is what we're all about.

This is a community. We have, and I'm going to go ahead and announce this part. You're talking about the other jar? Yeah. Okay. So one of the other things we're doing, and we take a lot of pride in this. This week, we were able to help a member who just got out of the hospital, and because they were in between jobs, whatever, found out that they were in the hospital because they were passing out, and there was a certain med they needed.

The generic cost of the med was $400 a month, and we were able to get her meds for the month so that she was taken care of until she gets her job with Kaz Bakaris, which is fucking super exciting.

We love, thank you to everybody who helped with that, because it's awesome when the community comes together and here this year at crazy one nights here's what sucks i wish we didn't need crazy or casbah cares no no shit in a perfect world we don't need casbah care what casbah cares is for people that are listening that's our charitable branch we work community so you feel we feel like we should take care help each other right and so to date uh since we started casbah cares three years ago two years ago i think two years ago it was three years ago since we started three years ago we're up to about 30 i think it's 37 000 we've given away uh and help people with different things which is awesome though in a perfect world we're getting to the point where we don't need casbah cares anymore that that people aren't't sick and people don't have those issues.

Until we get to that point, we're still going to be there to support our Army, our community. And so there is a gal that is on our page. I don't know. Some people might not have heard yet. She is a cancer. She put it on her Facebook page. Bonnie is a cancer survivor. She beat cancer once. Last year, she had open-heart surgery and had a heart attack and open-heart surgery and powered through. But she has just been diagnosed with lung cancer stage 2, and it has moved into her lymph nodes also.

So what we are going to be doing is, besides obviously a ton of prayers from everybody out there in our Army, whether you're on our page at Crazy Winter Nights or just one of the 85,000 people that hear it and listen to us and follow us, please give her your prayers, thoughts, and prayers for a quick recovery.

But we will have jars out at KWN that if you would like to make a donation in there, all 100% of the money that goes into those jars goes to them they do not know that we're doing this they did not come to us so we had other people that came to us so uh there's they want to come they're planning on coming but right they they want to come but but if they can't you know obviously uh whatever then we're going to give them but they don't know about it yet, so surprise. So, but if you want to give and if you're not going to at KWN and you want to give, shoot us a message.

You can pay off or whatever and we get that to them. But at KWN, you can put money into the jars and we'll give them all that. So, it's shitty that we need Casper Carers, but's awesome that people in our this is this is what makes us different we have a dj coming from new york city well is he actually from new well he he that's where he does he does a lot of his shit out of new york city in pennsylvania in pennsylvania he he's alive so he does he's cassidy we have we have sponsors from all over the place people coming in from all over the place. The first, we have people coming from Texas.

We have people coming in. I think we're at 10 or 15 States now that are, that are coming into KWN. And what, what is so awesome about KWN, it's not a leather and lace party. It's not the typical shit. Right. But it is about, it is about, uh, uh, about caring.

You know want to put yes we got it and i'll send everything afterwards uh it's all about a community it doesn't matter look you don't have to know somebody i don't have to know you to know that hey we have similar likes interests whatever we're a community now there are certain people in any group and community that are closer i'll give you an example uh brie who's currently listening right she is the female version of me oh no scary we we are we're pretty sure we're related we're not but we could be uh because you know we just think just that way and and i swear to god i should put her walrus picture out there just just that was that was awesome i spit pop over my fucking hilarious so you know he goes go to my instant messages i'm like okay i just got in the car i'm like all right i have to open his phone and use codes because it doesn't recognize my face and he goes go to breeze messages i'm like okay and i hit it i'm like oh okay.

And I hit it. I'm like, oh, my God. I said, I'm going to have to dig through Facebook. So I dug through Facebook and screenshot all these pictures of you with shit hanging out of your mouth and lettuce on your head. One picture I don't even think you knew is it was a contest with the kids of who could shove as many Q-tips up their nose. Cole won. I won. Fuck yeah, I kicked their ass. I don't remember. It was like 28 or some stupid shit. Yeah, it was. It was 28. See, you were paying more attention than you thought. That's because you thought you were going to take us to the hospital.

We all know his infatuation was straws and sticking them up his nose and his ears out of his mouth. No. You he shoved it up there let's not go quite that far um let's see but there was the there was the what are those little crispy fry things not those fries shoestrings shoestrings and you had those hanging all out of your mouth i'm like oh my god what do i live with there was one where we were like fixing a salad and you took the The outside layer of the lettuce went out of your mouth. I'm like, oh, my God, what do I live with?

There was one where we were, like, fixing a salad, and you took the outside layer of the lettuce and went, flip on your head. Yes, but here's the thing, and this is what's really important to know. I've been doing this for a long time. This is all shit that you could be – Right now I'm putting in the comments to this video, I am putting the picture from Bree. She's going to kick your ass. No, she said share. Why isn't I even put a picture? Oh, my gosh. It's total deja vu. Holy fuck. Comment? No. That's a sticker. I don't want a sticker. What the fuck? You might have to do it later. No. What?

Son of a bitch. The X in the corner. Oh, my fucking Lord. Technology is fucking right. He'll do it after we're done because he's distracted. I also have managed, you know, if you, look, this, I have done some massive skill shit stuff. Okay, when I still smoked, and Angela's currently on, and she was there the night I did this.

When I still smoked one night at a bar that we used to attend often, I took and I was able to smoke and put in my mouth an entire pack of cigarettes at one time i don't think you did that at the bar i think that was like your younger years oh that might have been college but at the bar i did take and i have lit and had i have a cigarette going a cigarette in my mouth and a cigarette up each nostril lit and smoke at one time dragging it all in at once that's right been there done that fuck yeah just that people that are not on watching this they're not gonna have any idea what the fuck we're even regularly talking about because we're not talking about anything we're just random just well but it was all shit at swinger stuff okay so this look this is all look now here's the thing what's so funny is we i i just went to um one place they do paper stuff staples there we go and and got all this stuff because of course at crazy winter nights we you got to sign the waiver because it's not our fault if you get hurt and the rules right and what here's what's really what are you fucking doing over here i'm like hair but i can't see it's as close i've seen that but it's usually with a penis anyway so the thing the thing is is that i was talking to somebody today and they're like they're asking me about how we came up with crazy because somebody they're new and they're kind of nervous about coming to our event because of the name crazy winter nights crazy casbah like, you need to understand.

We were the crazy motherfuckers all the way through. We're the ones that are the... We've just gotten old Milla down. Not really. I have. You have. Now you just give a shit about points. Let's face it. If somebody walks in and wants to start drinking shot for shot with you, there was a day, remember when they were afraid of, I'm not going to drink with coal, but I could take on Amanda.

And then you're like, Jack Daniels,'re like jack daniels please they're like fuck you won't do it now for the points i on the other hand will drink myself silly with rum because well i don't care goals right yeah no i got i got that and that's that's great but uh uh what was the marshmallows brie likes to play chubby monkey chubby not ch chubby monkey, chubby bunny and put marshmallows on her teeth. If you do that, we may have a talent show. Is this an animal thing? Yeah, well, we like kangaroos. Fuck off. So the thing is, this could turn, we could turn Friday night into start.

Does she like otters too? Yes. We could. We want a petting zoo. We're going to have the cast of a petting zoo. We could turn this into a karaoke slash talent show. Oh, good God. Clean. Here's the one thing I have to admit kind of blows with KWN this year. There is, we have to have certain decorum because of vanilla staff. See, otters. So we have to have vanilla. We have vanilla staff. So we have to be somewhat mature. But, you know, straws, look, I can't help that every bar in Omaha knows to not let me have straws. Fuckers. No, because I started taking them away from you.

Well, the waitresses did, too. The waitresses quit letting me get pictures with them. Remember the waitresses? Like, can I get your picture? And they're like, okay. And I'd grab them, pick them up. How we didn't get kicked out of more bars. Oh, my God. Because you were a drunk and you were a fun drunk. I'm a fun drunk. I'm a happy drunk. I'm a little teapot. Yeah. Oh, my Lord. Wow. Yep. You know what? This is what we're going to do.

If we raise enough funds, we'll start the Casbah Petting Zoo for next for next year dude if we could have a petting zoo one year crazy one of nights holy fucking shit i just need one farmer that i can pay them enough to let me put fake wings and horns on their ponies and say that we have a unicorn petting zoo because you know what fuck everybody else in the country you have people on here that have pyg goats and sheep and stuff like that. It's got to be a little pony. Kenny's got to bring his sheep, right? No, because I don't need to have an extra security person just to guard the sheep.

Just saying. Woo, yeah. Close it and quit reading. You're doing a podcast. Is there another way to do it? Close it. Fine. Fuck. Anyways, I know. See, Brie wants to paint the goats too. The thing is, but we need, I haven't paid enough for security. I can't pay for fucking farm security. We're not doing farm, no.

But if we had the little miniature ponies and we put a little fake horn on it and little wings and we call them baby unicorns tell me people wouldn't pay for that shit saturday during the day could be family hour come to the petting zoo and then go away from there i'm just i'm just saying i don't know i look we aim to please okay that's what we're about we are trying to find things look i was gonna say this in my intro i'm cole the host with the most often imitated never fucking duplicated that's the that's the thing i need a shirt that says that by the way that's the way we are you know what if you're going to copy us well we're going to raise the bar just a little bit that's what oh if you can bring finish your horses let me know You might know somebody.

No. Well, not to this event. I don't have a hay field set up. But, crazy summer nights, it sure would be fun. Pony rides, naked pony rides. If someone has an elephant, I would really like an elephant, too. I want a zoo. Okay, enough with that. So, how has your attitude been this week? Fucking perky as shit. Until somebody's being a big, mom's being a big fucking downer and can't talk about anyone. I'm in a great fucking mood. Not really, I'm stressed as fuck. I know you are. I'm not going to sleep.

This is what, if you gave a squirrel a seven pound bag of meth mixed in with some heroin and a couple of shots, that's kind of where I'm at right now. Thank you.

squirrel a seven pound bag of meth mixed in with some heroin and a couple of shots that's kind of where i'm at right now and and we're only on monday so just wait where this is gonna go it's showtime i mean this is like this is our baby when this is what we live for your baby No, people that Okay you guys all need you guys need to fucking set miss amanda straight on this she believes that i am more of a draw than she is and i keep trying to tell her that is not the case i'm not a draw i'm just a person well what am i a caricature look here's how i'm gonna know i've made it no wait a minute here here's how I'm going to know I've made it.

No, wait a minute. Here's how I know I'm going to have made it in this world. When I truly, I've never said this before. Kids, get out your pens and papers. This is a goal that I'm going to shoot for. You heard it all first, right here. Mission in life. To have a giant, cold, inflatable balloon for the macy's day parade oh shut up fuck yeah you're not family friendly so shut up maybe i'm just saying uh i'm just i'm just apparently you're giving the impression of being on drugs no No, I'm not. Trust me. So, you know, the thing is, think about that. No.

One year, I want to have a crazy winter night with a parade. No. What do you mean, no? Because it's in the fucking winter. Everybody loves a parade. No. Our kids used to do the Lincoln Parade march in the fucking snow and people lined the streets and Lincoln in pretty fast gold. I've done a shit ton of parades. No. They suck. I'm telling you. You don't have to do it. You just got to ride in the car. We'll put a bubble on it so you can just wave and you can be warm. Fucking a parade would be bad. Think about that for a minute. The streets lined with swingers. Dicks and pussy everywhere.

As we go roaming down the street. That would be fun as fuck. Oh, my God. Just saying. I don't know. I sure am glad we're able to help people as much as we are on this show. Oh, hey, you know what? It's halftime. I don't even know what time. I don't even know what to plug this time around. This is all kinds of fucked up. I'm just saying. Don't plug a fucking thing. No, we got to plug something. I got fleas. It's horrible. I don't know. It's a new fucking shampoo. It's all making me all hippie itchy and shit. Just saying. Hippie itchy? Yeah. No, it's not. Of course, you're live today.

You kept going. That's because my hair was wet. I a vlog down My live today I look like shit I gotta change the angle on that I look like Orson Welles sitting in a fucking chair That was horrible I'm just like Rosebud Rosebud That was fucking awful I don't know what the hell happened there And And you were fucking driving. I always knew when I'm driving. I wasn't touching it. It was hands-free. It wasn't like I was stroking off at the same time. Ten and two on the wheel. I mean, I couldn't even set it off because there was a cop right behind me the one time. I didn't watch it to the end.

Wow, there's a fucking shock. Here at Crazy Winter Nights, one of the things you need to do is educate Miss Amanda on all the things she misses, like my rants and my fucking lives and whatever. I do fluff my hair a lot because my mom actually called me on that today. She goes, you fluff your hair a lot. I'm like, because it's pretty. I didn't say that, but that's what I thought. Because it's pretty. Oh, so pretty. Anyways. Oh, wow. Okay.

So events going on at K k k events going on at kw and that are important i think obviously we have a lot of fun things going on and whatever that's cool but the the new the newbie seminar we do a newbie seminar at the beginning i encourage anybody any event you go to to go attend their newbie seminar one the bar will be open just saying actually that's true two so we have big numbers in two uh i think it gives you a good idea now like obviously when i do a newbie seminar it's kind of laid back because i want people to feel comfortable and you know i'm gonna walk in there with ripped up jeans your stuff is laid back i didn't pack any ripped up jeans well that's what i'm gonna have on ripped up jeans coat actual rose look duh oh my god get out of the 80s really if you got out of the 80s we wouldn't had to spend 16 bucks on hair dye you'd have left the gray show through I'm sorry I couldn't resist Dick I don't have as much gray as you mine's santa claus mine's mine's a mythical creature of love and respect for the children you just don't want to make cookies and have people call you nana no i'm not ready for that you're a nana i want to fuck no i'm not ready for that nope oh that's what i well okay back to this fucking newbie holy shit the thing is the grandmas are gonna stand up and defend themselves all the guilds are gonna get ready to fucking kick my ass yeah no shit i'm still searching for.

Anyways, so it's hard to tell you apart. It's when you all dye your hair and shit. It's like, make it easy for me. I'm getting all my insights on as good. Excuse me, are you a gilf? Anyways, new person seminar. No, go to it because it's a great chance. You will be relaxed. You come to my new person seminar thing, you will be like, I am so glad we came. This is the greatest thing ever. And if not, the bar is open. So either way works. But we'll make sure you feel nice and comfortable. My beard is just doing all kinds of weird shit. Would you? Are you sure you didn't take something? Yeah.

Holy fuck. What? I don't know. It needs to be cut. I have energy and I'm enthusiastic. I am a cheerleader for what's about to come down this week Is it a lack of sleep? No I'm well rested Hydrated and rested I don't think you actually went to bed You laid on the couch and fell asleep for a couple hours Before I got you up I didn't, I slept slept for, I laid down at one, and I was looking at the computer at two, and at three I considered shutting off the big TV monitor because it was starting to get bright, and then you were waking me up. So, somewhere in there we dozed off.

What could possibly go wrong? So, anyways. But, yeah. So, attend that because it is a lot of fun. We kind of lay out the rules. And attend the speed meet and greet if you're able to. That's a fucking blast. And it's totally laid back. So the speed meet and greet, it's not, trust me, it's not like anything else. It's not speed dating. We have honed our process a lot. We tried the speed dating and that kind of failed. No, it sucked ass. That was at Crazy Winter Nights two times ago. Yep, that was at Crazy Winter Nights, too. So 2019. Yep. But we have perfected it. The last one was a blast.

Yeah, it was way more just fun. And that's good for all ages. Are you ready for that? Yeah, you know, I save all my shit. I save all my stuff. So I'm working on some new questions and stuff. And, you know, I mean, we, we just try to make it, it's structure without structure is what it is. That that's really what the whole thing is. I mean, look, here's the thing. So everybody goes, what's it, what, what is our world like?

And of course right now I'm, you know, I'm magnifying my typical goofiness, whatever, and that that's fine but getting ready for crazy winter nights getting ready for any big event this is why i harp about being cool about at events right because having been on this side i know what it's like so having a big event is like putting on a birthday party for your kid okay when you first send out the invitation you're terrified that nobody's going to show up like fuck my kid's a dork my kid's a dork fuck my kid's a dork fuck i'm gonna have to go pay some neighbor kids to show up fuck the midgets around we'll pretend they're people too come on you know whatever so and then all of a sudden you start getting all these rsvps and you're like fuck people are showing up fuck people are going to show up fuck it's going to suck holy shit oh fuck people are showing up and then you're like oh fuck fuck i don't have enough food for everybody fuck you know the the hotel wants us to sell way more food than we we can fuck you know people are going to want to show their tits fuck i mean i don't know that's a kid's birthday party but you know what i'm saying just overall yeah and and so then it becomes all these other things so once everybody goes, you know, you excited well it's a love hate thing like right now i'm i'm jazzed i'm ready for it but i'm not so it's it's i have fun when i'm in the middle of it when it's going like i know you get off on that i get off on it like some people out of airplanes.

When I was in sales through the years and worked at other places, I loved trade shows. It's showtime, man. That's what this is all about, right? So I get off on that. I feed it. I'm like a junkie. I'm just like fucking... But it wears me the fuck out, right? But that's this whole thing.

So it's a love- a love hate thing when you do these things because you're like and then for me okay anybody who knows me that's ever been out drinking with us partying with us on a smaller scale what is my number one thing that drives me insane people not having fun if you're not having fun i can't handle it like the reason that straws went out my nose and everything else I've ever done is because like somebody's not having fun if you're not having fun i can't handle it like the reason that straws have went up my nose and and everything else i've ever done is because like somebody's not having fun i'm like oh my god you're not having fun you gotta have fun i gotta make you laugh can you laugh how about now you know and that's and so now picture we're gonna have 550 plus people over two days at kwn just because there's that many people i still want everybody to be having fun but it has to be it has to be structured and somewhat controlled but like that's my number one from an unstructured person but but that's like my number one that's like my number one thing so i gotta i know that if i'm having fun then you'll have fun and so like so do you get off when they throw curveballs at us uh i no no what no no okay honestly you want the honesty of that what it is is at the time no at that moment in time when shit goes fucking south because every big party has it this one will too something will happen what i get off on is solving and no one else either knowing about it like the only way people know about it is i tell them or after i fixed it i get off on that i can see it that that's like when i'm exhausted and i can't move and my legs hurt and i'm cramping up and it's like i'm i'm almost sick because of lack of sleep too much booze shit that will happen.

Because that's every KWN, right? This is the only time he forgets to eat. Yeah, it is. Or he goes, I don't have time. When I get there and that is, okay, kinksters talk about being in that scene mode when they're in some other place, right? Yeah, that's you. Here's the thing.

i guarantee that i go to a place that very few people can get to like this is if you're a junk if you're an adrenaline junkie this is jumping out of a plane this is this is whatever you're that's that's for me where this is at and it's it's like crazy stupid so the other part of it is that i always have to apologize and i'm putting, here's my official apology now. Okay. There are people that at every KWN, the plan of attack is, Hey, we should hook up every, every fucking, every one of our events. That's always out there. Every single one of them. You have to understand.

It's not that I don't want to. No, I mean, seriously, you know, it's not that I don't want to, I'll see you next time.

you have to understand it's not that i don't want to no i mean seriously you know it's not that i don't want to because i do but like you you won't get my full attention there is no pussy in the world that will get my full attention when kwn's going on because i'm going to be listening i'm going to be like if i hear something i hear somebody saying something or wondering what's going on or wondering make sure things are going smooth like you just have to understand if you want to fuck me at kwn you better be one hell of a late night owl you got to be a night owl because that's that your best time to fuck me is is either like early morning late night or very few windows in between and and the thing is it's not that i don't want to because oh my god i do and it's one of the worst parts of the shitty part of having these events i didn't believe it when we were told this years ago when we started these but it's true you don't get to fuck as much when when you when you have events so i always put it out there i don't want anybody to feel uh i won't ignore anybody i make sure everybody gets my attention and time and it's like so you know but it trust me it's not that i don't want to fuck some of you because i do i've got a list and it's very very long and most of you are all going to be at kwn and it's like i need kwn to be a week and a half event can we do that my heart couldn't handle it but it's so but i always feel bad because then i'm like you know because then you always the the probably the biggest thing that i've heard through the years after kwn most time we've there's always things we can improve upon.

I still have to do that tonight. Because you guys are all going to get fucking surveys. Yeah, you send those afterwards. Yeah, but this is your thing. Probably. I don't know. Don't hand shit out email. Anyways, so the thing is, she is actually.

The thing is, we always have things to improve upon That's the only thing that I've ever heard Is like, well God, I guess he's not interested And it's like, no I'm interested, trust me, I'm interested I swear to God, I'm very interested I just If we could get a golf cart That somebody could drive us around and I could fuck you on the golf cart or going from place to place, then it would work out perfect because I could fuck and we could hook up and have fun and I could still be everywhere I need to be. What? You're on babble mode. I'm not babbling. This is like valuable information.

Don't hold my hands. What are you doing?

you're on babble mode I'm not babbling This is like valuable information Don't hold my hands What are you doing You're on babble mode Look Season 5 We might as well scare all the listeners away Stop Don't apologize People should understand You're a little busy If they don't understand They'll see it don't you lick my hand god damn it that's so gross let me ask you is it better or worse than this don't okay no i know i know people should see it i know people see it but i still i don't ever want anybody to feel uh it just it goes with the territory that that if you've never put on an event i never until we put on an event when we were told dude you put on an event no we we were talking with somebody and they said oh we never have time to play we're too busy and we didn't really think about it because really we just saw him standing around so i didn't think anything about it we didn't have events to get laid but we didn't think anything about that well you wouldn't be able to you know and that's like yeah that was just a hookup with them yeah yeah so it's just you know i don't know it's one it's gonna be it's gonna be fun it's gonna be fucking stupid crazy fun and i'm stupid crazy excited and i yeah we have we have you know how many raffle tickets we have i'm cutting it off i'm not going over a certain amount of raffle tickets okay where are you cutting off at 2 000 okay 2 000 raffle tickets that's it because we want to give people the maximum chance to win okay and we got all kinds of shit because you know what i was digging i was pilfering excuse me i was pilfering and we have uh we've got a whole bunch of of gift cards i forgot how many we had probably if i would have documented that correctly the last time i would have known better we got gift bags we got all kinds of shit coming out in gift bags gift bags or a merch bag excuse me would you stop it however i can't help it it's we've got fucking knock it off we got um well the swag bags.

Swag bag. Yeah. So if you're going and you want to volunteer. Yeah, actually, I'm going to reach out. We have a bunch of people that have asked to volunteer, and you know what? Now they're all going, do you still need volunteers? Because it goes a lot faster making the swag bags when we have a bunch of people. We can do it naked. We can fuck as we go around the bags. No, I'm kidding. No, we can do it naked.

We can do an incentive i'll be naked there you go we we are gonna and i am gonna reach a whole bunch of people we have the greatest people in the world because we put out there we need volunteers and we i have a shit ton of people and now they're all going do you still need anybody because i'm like yes i haven't put the schedule together because we're gonna need people like we're gonna have people two registration tables going. Registration goes until 1030 at night, and then we shut the doors. The registration off. The registration shuts door. The doors are still open.

I tell them this wording is off. No, the security will make sure that only people are supposed to be in there. I just paid security today. Right. No, but what I'm saying is the doors are still open. They go, oh, weep. Yes, they do. But they have security. So if you're not registered, you can't get through. Well, you have to make arrangements with me if you're not registered. Right, if you can't make registration by the allotted time. Yes, so we can have a quarter. Then get a hold of us and we will arrange. We're actually going to extend ticket sales.

They were going to end tonight at midnight, Monday, and I'm extending them through fucking cunt. I'm extending them because I've had a bunch of people that need to know. They're going to know tomorrow, whatever. So we're actually extending them through Wednesday at midnight. Okay. I was going to say, how close are you going to cut this? That's as close as we've already given our numbers for the VIP thing. No, the VIP is closed. We can't give any more for the VIP. Nope. But the rest is. The bars, okay, so bartenders, Friday, we have two bars, three bartenders going.

So we'll make sure that there is no shortage of bartenders going. Okay. Saturday, during the day that they'll have a bar going, Saturday, the party starts at 8 o'clock at 745 we're having a bar outside the ballroom so while you're waiting that opens at 7 so you can start drinking outside the ballroom and then in the ballroom we'll have the bar outside going with the bartender and we'll have two double bars going inside the ballroom the whole night so because, because here's the thing, we learned, this is the thing.

You learn this fucking shit from, you learn this fucking shit doing these enough. Like we had the year where they had one bartender and the nightmare. But we've learned. And so now we have those things. They didn't believe it was going to be big. Yeah. It's just like our security. You know what? You're going to see, here's what's cool. If you need things besides our cadets, because they are there if you need help. And the cadets will probably have a pretty good idea where I'm at or you're at at most time. So if you need something, grab a cadet. Don't grab them.

Don't grab the cadets without permission. Talk to a cadet. But come up to find us. Or we have security. We actually pay lifestyle friendly. And they have black shirts that say security across it. And they've done all of our. They have done all. Well, two. The same guys have done two events. This will be their third one. This will be their third one. And they are very, very good. Some of the very best in the state. And so. You can try to hit on them. Yeah. Yeah. Because they won't fuck when they're on the clock. Because I'm not paying them to go fuck you. That's prostitution.

they won't fuck when they're on the clock. Because I'm not paying them to go fuck you. That's prostitution. Afterwards they'll fuck you. They fucked up afterwards when they're off duty. And that's fine. Rock on. I mean, fucking bang away. Ask first. Yeah. By the way, I'm putting a standing order into all the cadets. I'm asking now. Anyways. It's the grope attack. What? I don't know.

So what else do we got going on what else do people need to know i don't know people that aren't gonna be there gonna listen to the show what the fuck is the show about if this show is you're getting the behind the scenes of what what kwe is chaos because he's like should we record it and i'm like sure why not we have nothing else we we should no because we're gonna have more to do later. Oh, so I'm creating a Snapchat filter that says Crazy Winter Nights 2022 on it. Yes, because here's the thing. We were unsuccessful. We? Fuck off, bitch.

For the first time ever, and I'm really bummed about this. I was unsuccessful in being able to get a photographer for KWN. Yeah. So, sorry, guys. So I'm paying to create some filters. We'll turn those loose to everybody. You don't turn it loose to everybody. They get it. I don't know how it works. Whatever happens. I don't know. I'm in the process. I'll figure it out. Yeah. So, yeah. Otherwise, I don't know. This is just, I'm excited about this one because there's more pressure on me this time than I feel like than any of the other ones.

No, there's- Well, no, it's not a bad thing because the first one, there was zero expectations. I was fucking excited anybody showed up, okay?

But this one, you know, the last one we did before COVID, it was huge, but there was a lot of of distractions like like a lot because there was so much stuff going on so we couldn't be everywhere no and but it kind of it kind of gave a distraction so but this one's more like old school back to like here we are we're exposed he means retro he means back to like the first party that we had you can dress retro because that can be really badass dresses kind of resembles the 20s ish yeah i mean it's whatever and do do as out well it's casbah it's swinging with an attitude we don't we you know look we have a we have rules and you'll have to sign the sheet accordingly but uh but that's not one of them you know we're pretty open on that kind of shit i I don't worry what the fuck you want.

Yeah, do whatever. Guess what time it is. What time is it? Time to get the fuck out of here so we can keep going with all this chaos. Wait, this is my only break. Okay, so, all right. Well, with that being said, what a fucking fucktabulous show that was. It was really, well, everybody. Nobody else listening, not on our page or not going to include what this is.

No, everybody knows the rumors of, understands the rumors of coldest coke yep imagine that find me a squirrel okay i've never tried it so again find me a squirrel you don't need a fucking squirrel no squirrels kangaroos no otters oh my god no with that being said apparently i need to oh i need to give a shout out jesus fucking christ again once again don't forget smart swingers read asmlifestylemagazine.com check it out you're gonna i'm telling you i'm putting this out there read between the lines kids you're going to want to check out asm lifestyle magazine in 2022 there's big things coming anyways uh also fullswapshop.com buy some swag because after kwn we're gonna be broke yeah no shit uh and don forget to check us out on Full Swap Radio by the way the banner came in it's badass because Full Swap Radio is sponsoring this Full Swap Radio check us out our shows on on Mondays at 5 Central Standard Time again at 11 Central Standard Time as well as 43 others of the top shows don't forget to come meet some of those celebrities at our event at KWN and again www.crazywinternights.com you can still get tickets Let's go.

shows. Don't forget to come meet some of those celebrities at our event at KWN. And again, www.crazywinternights.com You can still get tickets. We're going to extend that until Wednesday at midnight. Get your tickets. Otherwise, we'll see you at KWN. We can't wait to record. I'm sure I'll have lots to talk about after KWN. Until then, hydrate. We've got a $50,000 goal. Hydrate. We'll talk to you all later. Do it the only way I know how. Do it the only way I want to. Do it the only way I ever motherfucking will. Casbah style. Out. Bye.