Send us Fan MailSo the original show we record for this week sucked. So we decided to go back and pull one our favorite shows and here you go. Revisiting Episode 86 from back in Jan of 2020 Enjoy the showThis week we tackle questions from some almost newbie swingers, is this right for them. How do make sure we don t wreck our marriage. We give advice for the newbies but also for the experienced couple to make sure you are still on track. Once you have a 3-sum or 4-sum or more sum you can t make it not have happened. Kole also goes on a rant about the profile pictures. You will die laughing listening to his opinion. If we didn t want you to be successful with your kink, soft swap, full swap or what every we wouldn t say a word. Go to www.buzzsprout.com/181336Visit our paid sponsors:Visit Promescent for all your sexual wellness needs and save 15% automatically at checkout by using this link: https://bit.ly/3fkn7CU https://bit.ly/3m7Frn2 (www.Promescent.com) http://www.smokinmeatsbbqtreats.com http://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com http://www.fullswapshop.com http://www.forbidden-omaha.comCheck out all our shows at: http://www.buzzsprout.com/181336Visit us at: http://www.krazykasbh.comfollow us on twitter @TruthKrazySubscribe to our YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/kasbhSend us an email at [email protected] Support the show (http://www.patreon.com/KrazyKasbh)Support the show
Transcript
Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. Oh, this isn't really another edition. Here's the deal. This is episode 183. Well, actually, it was supposed to be episode 183. Here's the deal. When we recorded our show this week, it sucked. It was horrible.
My brain was scattered all over the place, and it was was just a shitty show so we decided we're not putting that shit out so what we're doing we're doing something totally different than we usually do we are actually going back in time we dig through the vaults and we're going 8th 2020 episode 86 should we be swingers the message is still just as important today as it's ever been so real quick shout out to our paid sponsors don't forget our good friends at promescent p-r-o-m-e-s-c-e-n-t.com make sure you check them out for all your sexual health and sexual needs i do the vitaflux the vitamins if you want a better sex life promescent is the way to.
Use KK15 for a 15% discount, and don't forget, you get a 60-day money-back guarantee. Also, Smart Swingers read ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. Check them out today. Three million readers can't be wrong. And finally, don't forget, you've listened to the shows. You've read the mag. Come on, fuckers. Buy some swag at FullSwapShop.com. But here's the deal. It's the truth.
The truth is buy some swag at fullswapshop.com but here's the deal it's the truth the truth is we don't put out shitty shows so this week enjoy sit back and enjoy episode 86 should we be swingers january 8th 2020 i sound so much better i was still smoking back then uh check it out and be ready we'll be back with a totally brand new episode next week hey you crazy motherfuckers welcome back to another edition of crazy truth i'm your host with the most i'm cole and i'm here with the lovely but somewhat sloth like miss amanda Hey.
We are here in season three to ejaculate, new word, our knowledge upon all of our unsuspecting listeners out there, quit yawning during the show, and we're ready to, oh my lord, we're ready to go, can you tell? This is actually Season 3. It's this room. Yeah, it's the ambiance. This is Season... Yeah, don't set the kangaroo on fire. That would be totally politically incorrect right now. So this is, where was that? Oh, yeah. This is season three, episode number 86. I don't know, I think. Okay. And we're well rehearsed and ready to go for the show. And away we go.
But first, before we begin, let's take a quick moment, shall we? All of us bow our heads and listen to the sponsor. www.sexystripperclothing.com Quality exotic rave, rave, festival, pole dancing clothing, specializing in sexy stripper clothing, footwear, dresses, lingerie, and much, much more. So many items for your next adult party. Hey, there's one of those coming up. You can visit them at www.SexyStripperClothing.com. Don't forget to also come see them when you are at Crazy Winter Nights.
They will be there as one of our vendors.'re super excited to for them to come in it's going to be a great a great time while i've got you on while you're still listening uh before we bore you to death later uh don't forget we are trying to kick ass and take names and show all the experienced big name fucktards out there uh the little crazy truth and cas was here to stay so help us win the uh some asn lifestyle magazine awards if you would we've got four of them one is your ass uh but you need to go to www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote now this is important we're in the home stretch of this so we really need your help uh we are in for the sexiest media with the crazy truth that would be this podcast that you're listening to here now as well as we are in for best party theme crazy winter nights and we're also in for newcomer of the year which is our crazy casbah organization uh please vote us let's send a message to the rest of the world.
Fuck y'all. We're here to stay. And there's a picture of my ass. That's up for best booty pic. This is how come we're so popular. We're like the fucking stoner kids in school running for class office. That's really what we are. You were a class officer. I was. I was class president. Well, so was I. I was class president. Do you know what I was? What were you? Most talented. You know what? You were also in the band and dated a football player. Now that title makes way more sense. You could blow on wood or put your lips around. It wasn't for oral. What do you do with the reed again?
You don't blow on it. You don't lick it. What do you do with the wooden reed? You just don't blow on it you don't lick it what do you do with the wooden reed you just put your lips on it and how does that work well you have to wet it with your tongue first then you stick your mouth on it and then she wins an award weird uh no so talented who knew it was gonna be that so uh yeah so anyway so now of course now we're just we went we left our our goody two-shoes roots of high school and became uh yeah pervs I'll see you next time.
So, yeah, so anyway, so now, of course, now we're just, we went, we left our goody-two-shoes roots of high school and became, yeah, pervs. So, and here we are. Speak for yourself. I'm innocent. Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah. Oh, by the way, also, if you'd like to get dirty pictures and text messages from Miss Innocent Miss Amanda, you can actually go to our Patreon and be a subscriber.
that would be at www.patreon.com backslash crazy casbah and that's one of the options that you can get a special uh once a week a special picture just for you and special text messages just for you uh from miss amanda so if you would like some i'm sure i'm sure there'll be Bible quotes is what will be coming out of those. Just saying. Just ask all of Europe. Anyways, so let's keep moving. So I have my newest hi from another person in the UK. I think it's a girl, though. Well, you know what? If you're going to go over there, you might as well make the trip worthwhile.
There's going going to be little Miss Muppet over here who's going to have her curds in her way. Anyways. I'm going to sit on what the hell you're talking about. I hope you come back. Do you? Do you really? You think you'd miss me? Well, it depends. I mean, some days, no. Some days I'd be like, fuck yeah. But most of the time, yeah. Really? You can be kind of mean to me sometimes. She hurts me. Send help. What? I would miss you. I would miss you a ton if you were across the pond. But I would call all kinds of weird hours just to fuck with you when you're trying to fuck your dude over there.
Anyways, just saying. Well, I know what time he goes to bed.
I know what time he wakes up because he texts me yeah but see good morning but but see here's the thing you need to add him to the page like right now i don't know if he's even on facebook he's getting ready for what do they call facebook over there because it's only me well i'm just saying though but i would i would, I know that, but I would purposely, knowing what time he gets home and knowing what time he goes to work, I would call it weird times because those would be the times you'd be trying to fuck, and I would be like, hey, you know what?
So, it's 7.30, so it's actually like 1.30 there. Casbah, the International Pleasure Organization, it's what we do. One moment, please. Oh, Jesus. So, she can stop and text him right now. Hey, baby. He gets a good morning. I'll bet he does. Then he gets a howless work when I wake up. This is what our world is actually really like. See? We're an international organization. We aim to please. Okay. Well, while you're a Texan lover boy in the UK. Why he has his toast and crumpets for breakfast or whatever they have over there.
Yeah, they have, like, beans on toast, which is absolutely not like I don't like them, but together in the morning. I'm willing to try anything for a free trip to Europe, throwing that out there to our European listeners. Okay, this is true. Just saying. Okay, so I do have actually some questions. I got all kinds of stuff to cover tonight. Dill boy. Yeah. All right. Fuck yeah. So I'm thinking, should we do, which question do we want to do first? Do-do-do. Let's do this question first. Okay, so this question comes to us from a brand new listener. Yay. Yay. And they like us.
A brand new listener, they've been listening to us about a month and a half, two months. You okay there? Yeah, I typed hood morning instead of good morning. Oh, Lord. Anyways, you can send them a picture while you're recording. I'm sure you'd like to see a picture of you with your husband. Probably not. I haven't sent him one. Oh, you fucking.
Anyways, so they've just started started listening they are at the stage of swinging of they are not even dipping they haven't even dipped a toe in yet the toe is hovering above the water okay okay so their question that came into us are it came is came into us is i've been drinking uh we are a brand new couple how do we know if the lifestyle will be a good thing or a bad thing for our marriage so i reached out to him because anytime somebody says they're new there's a lot of different things when you're talking about new right i'm so sorry that was sort of dr pepper it's it's their fault asshole don't worry about bleeping it out it's fine anyways so when i found out they have been considering the lifestyle they've been seriously considering it for about six to eight weeks okay okay so then now here's the other part of it the idea was it came it was both their idea it was a mutual thing it wasn't just one person's or the other you know like trying to convince the other side to become a swinger they were sitting there it was after apparently after sex and something kind of came up and they both kind of same time said would you ever consider so their challenge though is because they're brand new the only fear that they have they've been married 14 15 years have a couple of kids they're They're younger than we are, obviously.
So they're like mid or early 30s, I believe. Yeah, it's like mid 30s. Anyways, the concern is that would it, they don't want to become, they've heard the horror stories, which everybody has, they don't want it to become a victim of the lifestyle, basically. And I thought that was interesting because obviously, well, first and foremost, we all know there's no way 100% for sure to tell whether or not the lifestyle is going to be a good thing or a bad thing, right?
So the first part of it is obviously why, and that's why I's why asking why are you looking at it why why are you looking to get in a lot of stuff because we've talked about this on the show a million times the reason you're looking to get into the lifestyle is a huge determining factor of what kind of success rate you will or will not have right and again their whole thing is there it's not to try to fix a marriage it's just they think it sounds fun they think it sounds kind of hot you know it's the typical couple couple they've watched porn that's kind of hot and they finally found the courage to maybe voice that a little bit they travel a lot their schedules are a little bit hectic so i think that's part of it too how to spice it up a little bit along those same lines so the next question though that i asked them was and and this is a question okay kids get out your electronic device or your pen and paper if you're old school like i am get it get out your writing utensils your handy dandy notebook what was that off of oh my god blues we'll have a song in a bit anyways uh get that out and because write this down this is huge this is huge wisdom coming here okay what you need to do is you need to go on a scale first of all on a scale of one to ten one being the worst ten being the best if you are married or in a serious relationship you each need to do this separately okay you each need to rate what you think your level of communication as a couple is because this is going to tell you a ton right off the bat yeah but there's a lot of people that think that they have great communication and they don't and that's okay that's okay but it will still granted it's still gonna plant the seed a little bit and let's face it if you've been that long term of a relationship and your answer is six and my answer is ten you're probably gonna say to me well what about all these times you don't listen what the fuck you know what or vice versa I mean you're gonna you're gonna to me, well, what about all these times you don't listen to what the fuck, you know?
Or vice versa, I mean, you're going to go, wait a minute, what? One of us is going to say, no, that's not right. But if your answers are probably going to be relatively close, or should be.
Okay, so number one, when you ask that question, if your answers are miles to fucking part, right off the bat the brakes on you're not ready for the lifestyle well then you need to talk more about well because that's the first thing your level of communication needs to be on the same page if the very first question you ask you say a one and i say a 10 we have a problem here we are not communicating and you not be, the lifestyle will be a disaster for you. Then it comes into a heart-to-heart conversation of why did you put a one? What do you think we don't communicate on? Exactly.
So then you can start really looking at, are you really getting the lifestyle like we did for fun? Or are you getting the lifestyle because there's another problem?
Okay, so that's the first thing you need to do and you know what here's the deal i recommend you do that even as experienced swingers you don't have to be you don't have to be new you know we talk about doing like state of the unions you know check up on your relationship thing and you should you should be constantly checking your relationship it's a relationship's like a fucking car right you don't just take it in when it's broken you still do routine maintenance and part of that is doing a diagnosis of your relationship so i really right now i challenge every single one of you listening do that do it tonight sit down see where you fall you might be fucking surprised and even if you're, you might be able to, you know, what do they say the best way to prevent a disease for health?
Catch it early. You might be able to catch what could be a potential problem. Could I say more P's? Potential problem before it turns into something major. So that's the first thing, okay? Everybody got that down? I wish I knew the Blue's Clues song right now. Oh, my God. My handy-dandy notebook. And the paw prints all over. Okay. Back to the seriousness of the show. More about serious. Oh, by the way, for those of you who don't know, because you've been hiding under some sort of scary, scary distant rock, we record this live in front of our secret, secret Facebook group. Shh.
Don't tell the others. Crazy Kazma, which if you'd like to be a part of, let us know and we'll get you at it right away. So we will take comments. So feel free, as some of you guys, you can see comments because I can't. So as you can see some of these, if there's comments that should be interjected jump in right okay i'm just checking you make i'm making sure you're awake do i need to pinch you for those listening at home no you won't you like my nuts anyways okay so keeps you awake like i said good thing it's Yeah, no shit. Same way I feel about my gut. You can't flick my nipples.
That hurts so bad. Don't go back to that. That was a sad incident. It was a fetish thing that went south. It is not a fetish thing. Okay. All right, so let's go on.
Now, the other piece of advice I'm going to give, again, don't put away your handy-dandy notebooks yet, because here's the next thing that i recommend that a new couple that's toe dangling or even ones that have already dipped their toes just a little bit plunk plunk that'd be like just a tip plunk plunk maybe there's a little bit of dick licking to somebody else or making out or whatever case may be they could have happened upon a threesome right well i mean it could have just been they watched live sex with somebody else for the first time because that can be very fucking hot yeah it can be Thank you.
be they could have happened upon a threesome right well i mean it could have just been they watched live sex with somebody else for the first time because that can be very fucking hot yeah it can be but here's the next thing that i would strongly recommend to do and again the key with this the key with these things okay see we're not just spewing our opinion we're actually giving you practical shit you can do to actually make this shit better so the next thing that i would say you do is again you have to do this separately to begin with okay no sharing answers right you need to take and grab a piece of paper yes a piece of paper write it down it still fucking works assholes i got a piece of paper and you need to write your top 10 concerns about swinging, about the lifestyle, just general concerns, top 10 concerns about what it will do to your relationship and top 10 things that you think it value that it will add.
Do you think some of this is overthinking though? No, not when you're new. Well, it can be.
Because a lot lot of people don't even we didn't do any of it we also thought that the first time we went to a meet and greet it was probably going to turn into an orgy and well i mean some of it look i know that a lot of people now are into the the thinking thing we did we also didn't start we also didn't start soft swap no not everybody was like okay we're ready we're gonna to go for it we don't know if we're ready for this we're going to fucking do it and we're going to fuck somebody else and go most people don't do that i mean i think some do but i think that if maybe we would have done this now you know this is like what we used to do with the kids say as i do or do as i say I say, not as I did.
Some of this could be a good idea. To me, look, some people know, they go, you know what? I'm in it. Let's try it. So maybe you don't need to take the same steps.
But if you're a couple that are sitting out here and you're talking about it for weeks upon weeks upon weeks, what that says to me, as somebody who's done sales all my life is that there's a hidden there's something scratching at the back of your brain like a little alien trying to get out and that fucker is going to keep scratching until it gets out but if you try to take and go stick your dick in somebody else's pussy or have somebody else's dick in your pussy or a pussy in your pussy or a dick in a dick whatever you're whatever you wanted to go try and do before that little alien gets that question answered then your head is just going to go and explode and at that point in time look here's the deal once your genitals i can't even say right once you're fucking naked in front of another couple or another another person I don't know.
look here's the deal once your genitals i can't even say once you're fucking naked in front of another couple or another another person you can't put that genie back in the bottle you know what i mean it's it's kind of like it's like when you're sitting in a meeting okay picture this if you're sitting in a meeting with your boss right and you're getting pissed off and you. And you're getting pissed off. The boss is driving you nuts, driving you nuts. And that idiot that asks all the stupid questions, they'll go, blah. And the one guy that always sucks cocks over it going, blah.
And you're about to just lose your shit. And all of a sudden, you just go, holy fucking shit, you're all a bunch of fucking morons. And the room goes deathly silent. There's no coming back from that you cannot take that back okay so it's the same thing with sex once you just have a threesome once you just make out with somebody else once you just suck a random cock eat a random pussy get randomly fucked there's no way to go back. So if you're somebody that you really need, if you've got that little scratch going, if you're not like, you know what, fuck yeah, let's do it.
Some people will be like, hey, you know what, let's jump out of a plane. Fuck yeah, let's go jump out of a plane. Well, then you don't need to make a list, go jump out of a fucking plane.
But if you need this, you sit down and if you will each take and write those those that list of 30 things down alone and then sit down fucking put the list out there flip them over and start going what you're probably gonna find if you're truly in a lot of relationships you're gonna fucking find some of the concerns are gonna the same okay great if the concern is the same those are pretty easy fucking things to talk about but the ones that are going to be a little more of a kick in the nut sack which are the ones that will cause you to be a victim of the lifestyle if you're not careful are the ones where you say i'm afraid of losing intimacy with you and i say i'm afraid of not getting enough strange pussy okay you now obviously obviously that's an extreme kids but but you you see what i mean there okay because all of a sudden there's a topic of conversation we have to have well what is intimacy what's?
What's defined as it? What do you mean I'm afraid of losing it? Because I need to know that. Because that means when I come home fucking pounding my chest because I just fucked a girl, that probably ain't going to fly real well. And so what it's going to do is it's going to steer you. The other thing it's going to do, remember we talked about communication. Yes.
Okay, I yes okay i'm gonna call it out there because remember this is the crazy truth so this may piss some people off i don't care most people in the world today suck cock at communicating most married couples are about have the ability to communicate like a fucking person talking to a dolphin because one person's going and the other person's going i don't understand i don't understand okay so the generations out there now our generation and below and newer communicate like fucking tards they're idiots they don't know how to communicate this isn't like the greatest generation that most people made it to 50 years of marriage okay so except to deal with it they all have these well exactly i mean you do better texting than actually talking and guess what here's the deal you cannot text your way out of pissing your wife or your husband off by who you fuck it doesn't work that way so if you don't have that communication skill set it is going to come really clear and you're going to be able to go oh fuck we need to talk about this some more it doesn't mean that you're never going to get there it's not the whole thing it's not like well you know what we're fucked okay i'm your we have sex.
No, it doesn't mean that at all. It just means you need to work through some of the kinks, not that type. You need to work through some of the bumps in the road ahead of time. Well, some of ours at the beginning, there was the don't call her babe while you're fucking her. Yep, my fault. Didn't even think about it. Didn't even know I had done it until you pointed it out to me. Nope. And now it wouldn't faze me. But then it did. Yep. Let's see. There was the, you had the concern of, well, I feel like I have to fuck hard because fucking slow is our thing. No, you can fuck slow.
It's not going to bother me at all. Yep. Oh, well, I thought it would. Okay. Make an assumption. What does that do? It makes an ass out of me and you. Let's see. There was the no, he couldn't still be in you, done fucking and still in you and talking. Yeah, that's fucked up. I mean, because then that was like. That was like one of our first hookups. I think you were. And I'm like, he wasn't, but that's okay. But I didn't know.
right now i'm the same way would it bother me now now no fucking have donuts tea and coffee i don't care um let's see then there's the um it got a little bit more deeper with the with the because he was bigger the first single female when i'm like you are being taken for a ride no i, I was. Look at it from my standpoint. She is manipulating you through and through. Oh, she is. She'll say this and it will guilt you. Oh, she did that. And that was not a one-time conversation. No, that was multiple. That took probably a good two weeks. That led to actual fighting. That led to actual fighting.
And now she's a big-ass thorn in your sidewall. Fucking hell. One more time, I stuck my dick into crazy. But that can destroy relationships. But it did lead to fighting. And I don't mean bad fighting. It was you were fighting to get me to see. And I was so hurt and offended that you would think I didn't, that, you know, that I could be taken that way. And we had to keep communicating until we got on the same page. And that's. If that meant a daily fight until you saw it the way I see it, or here, let me give you some pointers of next time she'll do this.
And you went did that and we had the same thing we had it with the camming with a guy remember with the australian guy i'm like quit yeah quit camming with him you're like no it's innocent isn't it quit fucking doing it and that led to a couple days of fights because it was like you're just being jealous no i don't even think we actually hooked up with anybody yet but no but but we but what it was was we have very strong communication skills skills that let me say this we work on Thank you. I don't even think we actually hooked up with anybody yet. But no, you're right.
But what it was was we have very strong communication skills. Skills that, let me say this, we work on every single day. Okay, it's not like magic. But sometimes if you're not willing to fight like that, that's one way to become a victim of the lifestyle. Exactly.
And what we want to do is, look, I'm not telling people, look, you need to sit down and have a seven-week course and two interventions and fucking all kinds of shit before you can go have fun in the lifestyle exactly and what we want to do is look i'm not telling people look you need to sit down and have a seven week course and two interventions and fucking all kinds of shit before you can go have fun in the lifestyle i'm just saying you need to make sure you're ready so that when you're sitting there doing a podcast your wife is texting her boyfriend in london doesn't finish off i'm kidding i don't fucking care i have to get to the point where i say have a good day at work oh absolutely What did he get you for Christmas?
How much did I spend to ship that fucking package over there? Is there anything breakable or perfume or anything like that? I'm like, no. You just smell it. And she goes, well, you can smell the perfume. I said, it's for my sister's special friend. That's what I told her. That's what I told her.
Because the scarf and teddy bear just smelled of your perfume don't worry it's not a bomb we're just morons anywho so i'm sorry so the the key with it is though i'm just make fun of me when this couple when i went through and i and i talked to this couple a lot i actually ended up being on the phone with them and so they've already heard all this stuff once but they made the decision they were going to go ahead and and do those things like what we talked about i have talked to them since they are still going to continue to talk about the lifestyle and look at some things but they also found some things that maybe they decided let's slow down let's slow our roll instead of trying to hurry and find somebody to fuck let's observe some more stuff first so it's not that they'll never be ready but they determined they don't want to jump into it too fast and again i know everybody's different so i'm not saying if you're somebody who wants to just fucking go, let's bang.
Okay, that's fine. But if you're not, don't cheat yourself of having a good lifestyle experience. Right? Right. By rushing into something. Because again, I can't stress this enough. There is no, oh, I'm sorry about that. Look at, watch Dr. Phil.
Look at all the people that have ever had affairs okay and after the affair ended and it was solved and whatever and years and years later there's still a degree of it doesn't just magically go away okay this is the same thing you will this is not like when you tell your parents about the vase you broke or the fact you stole the car one night or had a party 20 years later at Christmas and everybody laughs about it. At no point in time is your wife going to giggle at Christmas when you tell the story. Remember that time we all got drunk and I fucked your friend?
That is not going to be a humorous story. No. Now, if we're all in on it, she may be sitting there and she's going to go, yeah, and I'm really glad because I get to fuck my friend, too. Then it's a different ballgame. But once nudity comes out, it is. How are we doing on time? I just fucking, fucking. You're almost halftime. Woo! Look at me go. Jesus fucking shit's hot. Do we have anybody saying anything of value? No, they got quiet for a little bit. They get tired of listening to me? Probably. Okay. Anyways, all right. So let's take a... Are we close to halftime or are we at halftime? Close.
You're close enough. I'm close enough? Yeah. I don't want to run too short. We ran kind of short on last week's show. I don't want to cheat the listeners of the opportunity that you get all the time to hear me babble. Okay. You are such a Leo. Okay.
So we're going to go into halftime hey guess what kids uh this will be the last show that you will hear before crazy winter nights actually so if you have not signed up for crazy winter nights what in the fuck are you waiting for uh go to www.crazywinternights.com we are so very excited it's close uh we have the speakers we have cooper beckett is headlining uh the the just the events are so often off the hook we cannot wait make sure you're there go to www.crazywinternights.com uh get your tickets today once you get your tickets we'll help you get your hotel room and be there you're not going to want to miss this it's so exciting tickets right now are $55 a person for an entire weekend no vanillas 8,000 square foot dungeon adult playroom leather lace party Friday night SLS radio is going to be.
Saturday night is the formal with the Caswell Awards. We're going to have demonstrations. Miss Amanda's getting tied up, shackled up, and all that fun stuff. Shackled? I don't think so. She's getting tied up. I'm getting tied up with rope and then suspended. Yeah, she's getting suspended. And I've never done either one before. There's going to be an adult game room going on. A huge vendor fair. Man, I'm telling you what. There is something for everybody. Don't miss this opportunity. Life is too short. Don't miss it. Because what if you're dead tomorrow?
You don't want to miss the greatest party on earth. So again, www.crazywinternights.com. Sign up today. What am I reading? I could be a complete smartass and say if you're dead tomorrow, you still wouldn't make it to Crazy Wwaternights.com Sign up today. What am I reading? I could be a complete smartass and say if you're dead tomorrow, you still wouldn't make it to Crazywater Nights. Fuck it. When's your plane leave again? You keep saying that. Have you bought me plane tickets and I'll go over there? No, it's... He just sent you a heart message.
You might want to give me his good morning kiss there. No, it's not my job to fucking get... Look, how does that work? I am not going to pay for the plane tickets for you to go fuck your boyfriend in England. Thank you.
good morning kiss there uh no it's not my job to fucking get look how does that work i am not gonna pay for the plane tickets for you to go fuck your boyfriend in england i was told the first day would just stay in bed all day well great well you're gonna have jet lag so of course you will so the thing is i think that he can pay for his own i pay for my pussy when it's when it's here i think he can i think he can pay to ship his pussy there i think wow it's does he have a sister do we have he's offered to play pay for a plane ticket and we've said i hope yes is there two involved i was kind of in shock at that point went oh you don't have to do that you're that.
You are such a dumbass. Well, I should at least pay for half. Okay. Which, what that equates to is, hey, go on. He works for the airport. He gets a discount. Yeah, so you know what's going to happen? The ticket's going to be half price, and I'm going to be the only one paying for an airplane ticket. Awesome. Does he have a sister? Um, yeah. Does he have a female friend? Does he have someone over there that I could fuck? I have no idea. Have you even bothered to ask? Do you really care? I haven't asked. Maybe his mother. Oh, gross. You know what? Give me a little milf, gilf, g-g-gilf action.
Well, he's not overly old by any stretch. Only that doesn't surprise me. Does he call you mommy? Does he call you mom? We actually have fans that listen to our show in England, and you know we're fun with you guys. We love you guys over there. We actually just added a couple from from um fuck start to the d denmark uh start with what start with the d uh yeah so yeah anyways okay we're gonna move along here because before once he figures i've been to denmark did you i'm not even gonna go there not gonna we had a layover we left the airport we went back went back to the airport and flew on.
Have you told him how to listen to our show yet? He has the internet. No. He's listened to the ones on YouTube because he knows YouTube. Okay. Great. But I said it's on a podcast, and he goes, I don't have podcasts. Yeah, you do. You can pick them. Okay, so let's move along, shall we? I'm not going to rag on it. You should call him on the telly. No, that's phoning. You don't call you phone. Yes, but what do you phone on? The telephone. The telly. No, that's the television. The telly is a television. Okay, that's right. I'm trying to learn this shit. Okay. A jumper is a shirt.
Stop, you're killing me. A jumper, okay. Thank God you didn't send me to the store to buy him a jumper because because I tried to find a giant onesie, because I wouldn't have known. I'm an idiot. Okay, shall we move along? This is digressing. Yes, you're picking on me. Yeah, I'm going to pick on you. Absolutely, I'm going to. Look, you're the head of the CASB International Division, obviously. I haven't heard from the Greek guy for a while. Wonder why. Thank you. You're the head of CASB International Division, obviously. I haven't heard from the Greek guy for a while. Wonder why.
Well, you're going to have to work on that. I think when he realized that I'm really not going to be submissive to him. He doesn't know what he's missing. Anyways, all right, let's move along. Well, any other countries you'd hope to get to make new friends in in, maybe they'll be listening. We have people all over the world. Well, I have a dude from Africa that messages me. Right, okay. Occasionally, not very often. Yeah, yeah. He puts abbreviations. I'm like, what does that mean? We've got several, a big fan base in Australia. We've got a big fan base in Russia.
They have too many bugs and spiders and shit.
Look, there's nothing i love people in australia and i would love to go except everything there can kill you so i just and i hate fucking spiders and the only parent you're not supposed to fuck the spider well that's good because all them legs you'll never catch them uh i hate spiders you're bad and the only snake that i like is like snakeskin boots so i don't know that i don't really know that Australia is the country for me to go to I'd want to hold a koala bear Yeah I'd be smuggling a kangaroo out I don't even care Just saying Or a dingo This is your kangaroo right here Let's go with our next question Before we cause an international incident on the air okay so I got this one what paused I don't know it shows me standing up it's frozen keep going anyways alright so next question and this was an interesting question too all of our questions are good questions.
Just saying. This one is from a female. By the way, the other one, I'm not even going to say names. They offered full names, so I'm not going to put full names on the other ones. Don't need to. This one is from Miss Icy Hot. Okay? Okay. All right. I am single, and I want to start dating a single guy also in the lifestyle. I currently have a play partner, and the new guy in the lifestyle is wanting me to maybe cut it off with a play partner until they get to know each other a little better. And I thought this was an interesting question for a couple of reasons.
One, I think a great question because uh there are a lot of singles and i mean okay dating and lifestyle in general there's a lot of options i mean because you do have the poly option you do have and the different variations you have uh a lot of same-sex dating that can happen that maybe you don't see necessarily just out in the outside world then as well as just regular dating also and it's a challenge and we've seen this from other friends of ours as well the challenge to go from a single to a couple in the lifestyle number one is there anything wrong with that no not at all no not in the least uh there's nothing wrong with dating someone not in the lifestyle if you, and, you know, either if they choose to get in or you choose to get out, whatever.
Love is love. Right. That happens. Right. So we have different views on this. Yes, we do. You go your view first. We slightly talked. Yeah, we talked a little bit last night, a little bit on the way home. We did. Yeah. So you go first. Why do I have to start for email? Because I always talk. Okay. You do always talk because you're a babble monster. My opinion is it's not wrong for him to ask her. It depends. Okay. A, it depends on how much she's hooking up with this friend with benefits. Okay.
If she's hooking up like every other day, or if it's even weekly for that matter, it's not, in my opinion, wrong for him to ask if she wants a relationship with this other single guy.
It's not wrong for him to ask her to slow down or step back from this other guy so they can get to know each other But if you know If they're only meeting like once a month Right For a hook up There's nothing wrong with that And that guy should understand What if they're friends What if they have developed Yes it's a play partner but they're friends Who the new guy that wants her to No play partner and the single female what if they're they've developed a friendship just a friend i mean yes they play but just a friendship if you're just a friendship and it and you know he could ask her to refrain from playing right x amount of times or whatever and just maybe once a month until they get to know each other but she can still talk to him he has no visit the new guy has no right to try to dictate any contact no it's still establishing trust right okay so my view and i get that and that makes sense my my view is though or to play devil's advocate with it i guess more than anything else is the new guys in the lifestyle also you shouldn't be threatened by somebody else you know another another play partner in the lifestyle you should be able to understand that there's a difference there and because of some of our own personal experiences i think that's very easy to lead into where all of a sudden they go okay just take a step back from the play partner and then also it's like well i don't want you to have anything to do with them at all because it was previous and and at that point in time you know obviously that's not to me that's not right or fair to the and again based on our own world experiences i think of the play partner guy that's who i think of somewhat to a year ago that's not fucking fair to him he didn't do anything wrong and and the single lady is not doing anything wrong either nobody is doing anything wrong but there is still a dynamic there but the other guy didn't trust the girl to not play with you right even though and he's a fucking moron but and that's and that's how you really feel well but i mean seriously because and and granted our situation was different because you had a vanilla influence in there.
He's still a fucking moron. But that's beside the point. But the thing is, is that I think that, I think it would at least be, granted, okay, let's back this up so I can avoid hate mail. number one the the young lady that's single, you need to do whatever is in your heart. Because look, when we swing and as swingers, and when we get in any type of relationship with swinging, with poly, with friends with benefits, in my opinion, did you hear that everybody? This is just my opinion.
In my my opinion that person and a very good friend of mine a friend of ours actually pointed this out to me when we were going through some stuff of our own okay that person fills or scratches a certain it fills a certain something in you when it's a friend with benefit maybe it is purely just sexual but maybe it's something else maybe it's it's a companionship thing and that's not a bad thing okay especially where they're one person single but they fulfill a niche a need of some variety there there's something that they add to your personal makeup that makes you feel better that's why you continue to do that and and you can have look there's a lot of people that have female or male friends or opposite sex friends that are really really good friends and maybe don't fuck them but that fill some sort of need it doesn't mean they don't love their spot their their significant other or anything else it just it is what it is so you know you what you have to decide is is the new person going to fulfill those needs is this new person how are you going to know if you don't let them in well and that you're exactly right you have to you have to let them in but by the same token how you slow down cut off eliminate or whatever you want to say this other relationship because it is a form of a relationship okay becomes very important because i can tell you if you take and just go whack and cut it off uh what happens is that's gonna bleed like a motherfucker okay and if this other person doesn't fulfill those needs or whatever what ends up happening is you're making it so there's no going back now there's ways to handle that that are appropriate and correct obviously the friends with benefit needs to be understanding because as a friend see there's the key see how this fucking works kids it's not just dude with benefits or bitch with benefits it's friend with benefits so the whole thing is is the friend part of that person should always understand and be a friend the benefits is secondary okay so in this situation the friend should uh should want a similar thing for you want you to be happy want you to to find everything you want in your life that's what a friend does i want you you're my friend i want you to have everything you want so they should be willing to take and and kind of adjust accordingly but you the the single that I'll see you next time.
So, they should be willing to take and kind of adjust accordingly. But you, the single that, you're also their friend with benefits. And that's where it comes in key.
You need to remember that as well because you're not going to purposely go out and try to hurt your friend and if somebody new if somebody new comes in and they want you to completely cut off to completely cut off any type of relationship I don't give two fucks I don't care if it's family if it's friends if it's classmates you knew 50 years ago I don't give two flying fucks if someone else wants to fucking come in and take and dictate who you should be who you can and can't be friends with you need to tell that person to go fuck themselves well but i don't think that's necessarily you don't that could be one option of something that's going on but it doesn't mean necessarily mean that's what's happening right i've seen with other things.
That's where I was going with that. No, you're right. In this case, that might not be the case. But with other things, we've seen it before with other things, not even involving us. We've seen it with other things where there's issues.
I mean, there's communication, especially with a friend with benefits, and they should be understanding be understanding to know okay so he says it's acceptable to to meet up with you like once a month well and and i because how can you establish a relationship if you're giving this little itch to this guy and not even given this one you shouldn't be giving the itch to anybody just fulfilling the itch whatever with this one guy how are you giving the new guy the opportunity to fill in no and and you're very right and the other thing i guess i would say with that is because there's where everybody's involved in the lifestyle there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take and everybody get to meet and and just get to meet each other not to do anything other than just meet I mean that shouldn't be a problem in any way shape or form how am I doing on time?
you're doing fine because I want to make sure I have time for my rant too I know that almost turned into one didn't it?
yeah a little bit you have 15 minutes I don't know more like 13 it's a challenge when you're dealing with relationships in the lifestyle number one you have to make yourself happy look when this is all said and done in this world uh whether you're going together as a couple or a single or whatever the only people you have to be okay with is yourselves right that's it so you know be fuck what other people think that we've made we've built our company off of that concept of fuck what other people think you can't live and be afraid of someone's going to judge me you know what yeah they're going to judge you people judge you all the time and you just got to be willing to go here's the big fuck off if you don't like it suck my dick and move on I mean that's what we do I mean you don't you're like suck my clit no I'd say suck my wording no i'd say suck my dick okay uh so thank you very much for that question i hope that helps sorry i got a little rant but now i'm gonna go on to what is truly a big rant there's a man i have no man just looks over with a fucking like total shock and horror face okay so uh by the nature of my job by which My job is CASBA, obviously, and CASBA Inc.
and all the stuff we do, Crazy Winter Nights, and our podcasts, and our shows, and our adventures. I spend a lot of time looking at, tell Jay I said have a good day. I spend a lot of time, I'm just fine with it. Yeah, I know. I spend a lot of time looking at profiles of people. Out of this one. Okay, here's my fucking thing, okay? There's two points with this rant. Number one, any of you who have not watched our, seen our YouTube channel or seen us on our, or whatever. Look, I am no beautiful person. I am no fucking God by any stretch. Okay. I feel like I am. I'm happy with who I am.
And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick. But am I a little pudgy? Yeah, I sure fucking am. Am I kind of balding? A little bit. Not bad. Great. Yeah. I hate that guy's few crow's feet. Whatever. I'm no fucking like, everybody's going to go, oh God, did you see him walking? No, I'm not dreamy. Okay.
But i'm also not a fucking moron okay so look there's two points with this that i've got is i have got to stress number one to all of the beautiful people out there you're truly beautiful i get it wonderful it is so fucking awesome that you have a job or whatever is in your world that you can make huge bucks, be in a mansion, be on all your vacation trip photos, whatever the case may be. And obviously the only thing you have to do other than that is go to the gym and get pictures taken. Rock on that, that kicks ass. Okay. But a couple of things.
Number one, if every fucking picture you have on your profile, you have to strike a pose to look natural, like a goddamn JC Penance catalog. All the message comes across to the people that are not just so shallowly enamored by absolute basic human instinct is, Oh my God, what a douche. Okay. See, that's, what's amazing about this kind of shit, right? Is the douche factor. So this little rant is about how to eliminate the douche factor off your fucking profiles. Okay. And this is not just attack on the beautiful people. Okay. But here's the deal. Dudes, you have a hot bitch.
Your wife is is fucking hot the primary picture on your profile should not be you flexing like you're in the fucking arnold schwarzenegger bodybuilding contest okay because you know what my wife can suck dick like a fucking queen fuck like a boss and leave you crying in the corner begging for more and she's going to look at your picture and go you ain't got a a chance, douchebag. That's how that's going to work. And I want to tell you what, I know that us old people are kind of old and wrinkly and whatever. We will fuck your brains out six ways to Tuesday because we know how to do it.
And no, I know you think you do in your twenties. You don't, you'll figure it out soon enough. Okay. That's number one. Don't, it's like the duck lips shit from a while back put your fucking just be a fucking person you know what it's okay to have pictures of you being silly you want to know what's hot and sexy is a young couple a middle-aged couple an old couple with cute pictures where they're fucking around on one of the our websites on one of the sites that we're on we put one of our pictures we put on was the one of you and i where we're going to the store and you're right on the cart.
It's not sexy at all. But we're having a blast and it totally screams who we are as people. That's sexy. You know what? I put a picture on there on one of them. Remember the time when I was taking the shower and I popped out and made horns with the shampoo and shit?
It was in's just fucking around you know what but that's who i am yes you'll see pictures of me with straws up my nose i know it's not as sexy as me covering my covering a tiny penis because it's hidden and i'm not all ripped but you know what it's who i am it's who we are we are real that is what a profile is supposed That's number one. Ladies, believe it or not, you don't have to strike a pose. You're not fucking Madonna. Quit it. Every single time you walk, you know what? Just get funny pictures. It's okay to have a picture where your hair is fucked up.
It's okay to have a picture where you're out doing something, but you're having fun and you don't look dolled up for the evening. That's okay. It's okay to have a shirt that doesn't have a tit poking out of it. It can still be sexy. It can still be hot. Going to the grocery store is, is it sexy or not? That's up here in your brain. That's a choice you make. So make the right fucking one. Seriously, you know, have some fun, loosen up just a little bit, de-doucherize your fucking wording of your fucking, of your profiles.
If you start off your profile with all the shit you won't tolerate, and we won't do this, and we won't do that, and you better be this, and you better be that, and don't bug us too much, and height and weight proportion, and blah.
And then you try to end it with, we're fun- bullshit you're a fucking dick there's a difference look if we want to go find a fucking bitch and a cunt to go fuck we can do that easily that's not appealing now i understand that somebody like us that's going to talk about being freewheeling and fun and and drinking and partying and just being us maybe just too wild and crazy for you i understand that and i get that we're not everybody's cup of tea and quite honestly here's the deal if you can't hang with me because i paint my nails black when we go out and wear sunglasses and we'll get up and sing with the band you know what i don't want you hanging with us anyways because that means you won't have fun now if you want to come and laugh and till you are almost in tears because it's so much fun so much fun and somebody that will do anything and leave the charge and go have a blast we may be fatter or heavier or older we're a couple for you and it's not just us it's i'm talking couples all over okay enough about on the on the beautiful people now for the rest of you people jesus christ man okay here's the deal with technology Thank you.
Okay, enough about on the beautiful people. Now for the rest of you people. Jesus Christ, man. Okay, here's the deal with technology and cameras. It's the damnedest fucking thing. You can now take a picture and look at that picture immediately. You don't have to wait to have it fucking developed three weeks later.
You don't have to blindly put it on hoping and be just as surprised as everybody else with what it shows up you can you can look at the fucking picture and see it right here right now now look every single one of us have taken a picture at one point in time or another trying to be sexy but then we looked at the picture and we realized it didn't look sexy for the love of fuck use a mirror and use your fucking eyes you know what not every girl's picture looks hot with her ass in the air sometimes if you have the wrong angle you don't see the slope of the back it just looks like a big butt okay i'm sorry you know what pick and choose your underwear wisely i'm gonna give you a huge hint and i'm a fashion guy by any stretch of the imagination, but let me just put it out here for a second.
Don't wear a brown pair of thong type thing and take that ass picture because it kind of looks like you've got shit smeared up your ass crack. It's not sexy. Take a look at the picture. You know what?
I understand that the fucking supermodel that is paid to do nothing but twist her body in some sort of gumby sort of position looks sexy as fuck when it's photoshopped all over the place in a magazine guess what it's okay we're in our 40s you know what it doesn't look the same use a fucking mirror check it the fuck out just for a second you know what i'm gonna post some of the pictures i did as a smart ass you know the picture where the chick has got her leg kicked up kicked back and and hooked her her g-string i did that with my cowboy boots with one of amanda's g-strings just to prove a point is a thong a thong now here's the thing this is not just for women guys okay back to the bodybuilders for a second if you're ripped like a motherfucker and your profile says you're six eight whatever and can bench press two cars don't have your girlfriend with her tiny little hands covering your junk guess what everybody knows what's up or what's not up if every picture of your body has you turned so conveniently enough there's not a single dick picture anywhere, guess what all the other women are going to think?
Big muscles, tiny dick. I'm not saying you have to flaunt it, but you might want to think that through just a little bit.
You can have pecs the size of fucking my head, but if your dick can't be found in there, there might be problem just saying the rest of us guys listen to your wife about angles think before you put your dick compared to some things don't put your dick to compare size next to something that's way bigger than your dick that's dumb don't do that okay don't take and put your dick look i know there's different opinions on hair and stuff like that and that's okay but you know what if it looks like you're petting the fur back off of your cock so you can find it like you're pulling the head out of a dog from a dog so you can see like one of the dogs dogs was all like a sheep dog shave that shit up just saying just a little bit don't take a picture head on seriously no one wants to look down the barrel of a gun and as much as you might think it's cute to get that picture with a little bit of cum drop dripping off of it It looks stupid.
Quit it. Stop. Some people don't mind that. You know what? There is nothing sexy about a dick goobed. You can tell you just jacked off and you're sitting with your hands still covered in the cum. It doesn't look like you fucked somebody. It looks like you just jacked off and dribbled yourself. You know what? Think a little bit. What would be something a little bit sexier? If you will do those sorts of things. Nancy said don't wear socks. I think I'm going to tell you that.
yourself you know what think a little bit what would be something a little bit sexier if you will do those sorts of things nancy said don't wear socks don't wear socks what would the thing is i i would rather have people wear socks if it's funny just be you you know what here's the deal get in a profile doesn't need to have pictures of just your wife guys that's the other thing get in the picture with them and it doesn't have to just be pictures where they're fucking you know what show what you're like as a couple together show some personality because here's the reality of it my time is limited your time is limited i'm not going to go out of my way to meet with somebody that i feel like I'm going to be judged whether or not I meet their fucking standards.
Okay. I'm 47 years old. Fuck you. It don't work that way. Okay. And I'm sure as fuck not going to go out of my way to meet somebody that looks like about as much fun as paint drying. Now you got a couple that fun pictures and they look fun and they're laughing and they're having a good time. You know what? I'm interested and I'll bet I'm not the only one. So there's my rant. And here comes the hate mail. Tell us how you really feel. Okay, I have to pee. And I'm just like, oh my god, don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh. Don't make not perfect.
When we first started off on an adult website, we had one picture of you and the rest of them were me. We did. But it was a picture of, we didn't have any face pics. No, we did. There was like one of us fully dressed. There was one of us fully dressed and then one had my dick pic, but all our faces, our pictures were, our faces were cut off.
We have since have since learned and that's it I'm not trying to slam anybody I'm trying to help people really that's all I want to do I know that everybody thinks their pictures are the best but you know what what do you want I mean we could be if you wanted to know how much of a dick I could be I wouldn't have done that rant because I'd have just let people flounder but instead i'm looking at this going here's a couple trying to they want to do something lifestyle look here's some different ideas to maybe whether you're the young super in shape couple rock on or whether you're not here's some ideas to actually maybe up how many hits you get look we're like your parents if we didn't love you we wouldn't try to help you we just know fuck they're idiots we wouldn't do but we're now you guys we want maximize it by the way send me workout tips anyways wow you cut it off all right hey so there you go that's where we that's where we're in today what a great show this is so much fun all right so uh again thank you very much want to thank our sponsors really quick www.sexystripperclothing.com again quality exotic rave festival pole dancing clothing they've got uh clothing footwear dresses lingerie and more make sure you check them out online or at crazy winter nights don't forget to vote for us www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote don't forget our to get our merchandise See you guys.
Bye. vote for us, www.asnlifestylemagazine.com backslash vote. Don't forget to get our merchandise for your great pictures at www.crazykazba.com. And finally, check out our Patreon so you too can get text messages from Miss Amanda at www.patreon.com backslash crazy Kazma. Until next time, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only fucking way we ever fucking will. Kazma style, out. Bye.
