Krazy truth #162 Oh Shit did we break our own Rules

Transcript

Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm here with the host with the most and I'm not using an inside voice. No, I'm here with the host with the most. I'm Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and apparently soon to fall asleep, Miss Amanda. Hey, who's grumpy?

Anyways, real quick, we'll get back to grumpiness in just a second before i forget this is season four episode 162 two two no i did not no i didn't i don't know if that's right but i didn't cheat so uh and that means that it's more than 161 it's a Monday, not a Sunday. We're recording this live in front of our not-so-secret Facebook group, KazBank. No one knows but Swingers. But if you want to join, shh, don't tell the others. You sure can. Send us an email. Along with your sole deposit of $5. No, I'm just kidding. There's no money required to join the group. We do that for free.

I'm a little discombobled. Our dog just tried to kill a cat. That was awesome. Took my arm out in the fucking process. We'll talk about that in just a second. My gentle Willie went apeshit. He wasn't so gentle. My Willie ran amok. Anyways, but real quick, before we go to fur, well, I'll be darned fur, pa, before we go too far, as they say here in the more modern century, if we were Amish, it'd be fur. I'm going to go, I'm going to go down to the barn, fur, some milk.

Anyways, but we're not, so we're in the city, so it's fur, or, no, I or no i don't know what bird what anyways before we go too far uh we're gonna shout it to our paid sponsors um is anybody paying us have we got any checks where the i'm kidding no uh hey you know what tits may sag boink, moink, moink. Balls may drop. But reading makes your brain last forever. So make sure that you join the other 3 million reading motherfucking swingers out there and read ASN Lifestyle Magazine. You know, if all of you are wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Also, don't forget, you can meet us at the ASN Lifestyle Awards, September 16th through the 19th. You can get your tickets. You want to get your tickets for this. It's going to be badass. ASNEvents.com. You need to start going on. You need to go on and vote for us. We're up for six awards. So, like, if we go down there, we present awards, and we come back empty-handed, I'll cry. And I'll get, like, a Snickers bar.

I can't get runners't get runners up thing anyways the voting goes until july 31st so you can vote at least one today and we need everybody to go and vote for crazy winter nights crazy truth crazy truth full swap shop so on a couple categories so please check us out vote for us help us help us please um that's asnlifestylemagazine.com and finally you're listening to a show you sure are you're listening you're not talking and you're awake good job you're listening to a show you've read the mag did you read the mag yet you're gonna read the mag come on motherfucker go buy some swag you know what i know it's hot and uh clothes suck but we all need to wear them every now and then for the grocery store, et cetera.

So make sure you buy your cool clothes at fullswapshop.com. Here we go. This just in. Jane, your ignorant slut. Okay, so if you know where that's from, maybe you can win a prize. That's actually famous. Somebody listening right now knows that reference. It's a huge reference. It's a 70s reference. Please, God, somebody get that reference. Email it in. If you email it in, everybody who gets it right will put your names in drawings and we'll draw for a free shirt. I'll say it again. Jane, you ignorant slut. If you have to tell me what it's from, it's important. Okay.

Air conditioner sets off and gets really quiet. It's all of a sudden like, wait, what? Do-do-do- quiet. It's all of a sudden like, wait, what? Do-do. So we're a little discombobled because it is a Monday, not a Sunday. And so we're recording and here we are. Because it was Father's Day. It was. What a wonderful blessing. So, yeah, okay. Anyways, for all of you that are dads out there, way to shoot your load. Congratulations on that. And way to find somebody to be a reciprocal. Have that powerful sperm. Yeah, way to be a reciprocal. Find someone to be your reciprocal of your seed.

All fathers, so it could be like Far farmer's day because everybody plowed and planted okay sorry yeah i'm a dad too whatever yeah yeah i gotcha so okay anyways so uh with that a great holiday announcement out of the way uh yeah there you go we may need a shirt that says that for father's days next year the casbah i plowed i came i plowed i planted and i got caught anyways that's horrible being a dad is very being a dad is a blessing a wonderful wonderful blessing okay dear lord let me score some points with that okay anywho so uh yeah so I got a great treat today it was awesome I got to have a conversation today with Miss Amanda's boy toy which is always fun he's a super no actually I actually enjoy talking about him the guy's a super nice guy.

I have to tell people, look, here's the deal. If your significant other is going to consistently bang somebody else, make it somebody you like. Make somebody that you're cool talking with. I mean, maybe you need to be a distance when you're talking, but still make it cool when you're talking. No, he just gets excited. He gets excited. I don't know if it's excited. He just talks louder. Maybe it's because we're sneaking around so he's not so loud. Yeah. So then when he gets out in public, and actually... But I talk to him out in the middle of everybody, and he doesn't yell at me.

Well, that would be awkward then. Here's the thing. And that's funny. The reason I brought this up, this up there was a method to my madness oh was there yeah and it wasn't to practice inside voice okay the method of the madness we're going to talk today today we're going to talk about learning lessons and reminders of things okay and it deals with your boy toy not with your boy toy but how your boy toy ties ties in. And you are all in for a treat because you are all going to listen to a show.

And if you've listened to our show any length of time, you have heard us preach on certain topics over and over again. And this show today, you're going to get to hear about how we fucking broke every one of those rules because obviously we're not used to being out since COVID's over. We'll get to that in just a second. That's funny. That's funny. Somebody's name is already in the drawing. That's awesome. There you go. I think that was somebody that also got the same slow down, what does slow down? Yellow light mean. Off a taxi. You're just now bringing that up. That was how many episodes ago?

22. I just made that number up. I don't know if it was that many ago. It's been a while. It's been a while. Okay. So, for those of you who don't know, so let's go into, let's, well, first, let's talk about the fact that amanda's boyfriend is going to come up in conversation a couple of times tonight because it ties in with the weekend and it's funny as shit because this so how does he come up with the weekend oh that makes it even thank you for just leading in even fucking better thank you baby. This is why we don't rehearse the show. You can't ask for good leads like this every time.

So the thing is, is that for those of you who don't know, Miss Amanda's birthday was actually last weekend. June 13th, she takes liquor and credit cards. Anyway, so... And she turned 50. And of course, we all know that miss man is very blessed with the fact that even under the bright lights of high def she doesn't look 50 okay but don't turn this side you don't want to i'm kidding i'm funny no she doesn't look 50 most people would guess her age like the waitress from friday night in in her 30s oh that is she's her early 40s no she said 30s oh She was in her early 30s.

That's why there was such a possibility there. But we'll talk about that fumble on the plane in just a few moments. Anywho. It's not my fault.

So the thing is, but we were unable to go out and party and celebrate her birthday because our car fucking decided to be a fucking piece of shit and so our car also takes uh whiskey and credit cards so anyways so more credit cards than whiskey just saying so anyway so we celebrated miss amanda's birthday this last weekend the weekend we just had father's day weekend and because we have a lot of friends in the town that we live in and we have a lot of friends in the town next to ours that'd be omaha lincoln i don't fucking care it is we had an event on in lincoln friday night an event on saturday in omaha on saturday night and hence we can start talking about our the story and way have goes yes yes allison and the car does have matching tires that story came up we'll talk about that too in a minute so okay so let's shall we talk about friday night for the first half of the show how well okay let's talk about what the overall topic we're going to talk about here a little bit is here first well you talk about the top no no, go, please.

Because you have to include the car in this bullshit. Well, that's for Saturday night, the car. Yeah, but you have to explain that we had to have the gas tank, fuel pump, and solenoid replaced and got it back on Thursday.

Yes, we got the car back on Thursday, so we're excited that we got it back in time so we can actually go and we can do these parties to borrow a kid's car yeah it was like okay we're ready we're ready to go we're gonna cut loose the car had been made it a stressful week and so we're ready to fucking party and miss amanda was ready to fucking party because she's 50 and so it was just like you know the excitement so friday rolls around and the excitement is in the air you you could cut the excitement like a big fatty birthday cake with a knife it was so fucking thick it oozed giddy and excitement we couldn't wait so we were going to a bar we've been to before uh good friends of ours that are also lifestyle folks where uh they dj at that bar do at that bar.

And so we're going Friday, we're going to the bar. Now, a couple key components in this whole thing here. I want to go back a little bit. One of the things that we talk about all the time on this show, we have talked about it. We've answered questions because people's fears of being outed, people's fear of what if the world finds out we're swingers, and the fact of how many people do things in vanilla bars that can, how you have to behave in vanilla bars or there's consequences accordingly.

It is important to note both of these events, bothiday and saturday night were taking place in vanilla bars okay so away away we go away we go now look if i don't remember it it didn't happen we like to have fun we are all about having fun and The people that were coming out to celebrate miss amanda's birthday are all about having fun and again thank you to a lot of people that showed up uh both nights and and or some showed one night some showed both we're super appreciative of it if amanda forgot to tell you goodbye she didn't know you left so it doesn't matter so the thing thing is, with the Friday night event, I was being the more mature one, you know, keeping my drinking under control, right?

On air, we're keeping my drinking under control. But Miss Amanda was having shots. Now, this is a key. I didn't buy any of them. No, well, here's a key component with this. We're both on diets. Okay, so we're trying to be all like fucking healthy and shit. So... At age 50, one word that Miss Amanda does not seem to know real well is the word no. Okay. So, as the night... Wasn't her fault. Let's talk about it. is the word no. Okay. So as the night... Wasn't her fault. Listen to people already coming to your rescue. So as the night progressed along, a great time was had by all.

Now, this is where I want to put a pause in here because we were not being quiet about being... We, I don't remember saying shit. You were loud fuck I still want to blame you and I can't the thing is here's the deal the bar is kind of a dive bar it's not a busy bar whatever but the waitress was hot as fuck okay not kind of hot, eh. Not like, well, you know, maybe I might think about doing her. She had an awesome personality. She was, yes. She did have an awesome personality. The first thing I noticed was she also had an awesome ass. I didn't look at her ass. Bullshit.

And then, because she was wearing spandex black spandex sports bra and black spandex like running pants and and she was fucking rocking the shit out of that outfit and then on top of it she was super fun i was i fucking i fucking spotted that i before we even ordered ordered we even ordered our first drink, I was like, I want to fucking have sex with that person. So the thing is, is as the night's going along, everybody's drinking. We're all having a good time. A lot of people bought me shots. And then the shots started to flow.

Now, again, we talked about call him what she says spandex what did you call him oh did i call him lycra i might call him like no you didn't call him i don't know but it was spandex and it was fucking hot and and so the thing is is that as the drinks were flowing the volume seemed to increase and the blatant hitting on seemed to increase. Now, the story gets a little dicey here because Miss Amanda at one point in time does not do tequila shots. But she had two of them. And they weren't single shots. They were big glasses. This is a great bar to go to.

If you'd like the name of this bar, which, trust me, if you like to drink, you want it. They have huge shots. They're like double and triple shots. And then I don't know what was in that Adios motherfucker shot. Three shots into it. We're two hours before we leave. That's where Amanda quits remembering stuff. Yeah. I don't remember shit. So the part of the story, how this ties in with what we do is we were not quiet. We'll be right back.

yeah okay remember shit so the part of the story how this ties in with what we do is we were not quiet we were not we everybody's having fun people weren't doing anything overly stupid we waited uh to do that but we but as i had a friend going i'm like amanda's got to close this deal with this waitress and one of the people that was there she's like's like, why don't you close the deal? I'm like, no, I can't. Amanda needs to close the deal.

And so in the process, we just decided between the two of us that the best thing to do was just be honest and tell her we're swingers and see if she wanted to fuck. So at this point in time. If I was drunk, you came. Oh, no, it was somebody else.

It was somebody else it was and it was another friend of ours that said she got tired of the one that was over here earlier yeah she got tired of you fiddle fucking around and she's like just fucking ask her i'm like if i ask her i won't she goes fine so when the waitress comes up and brings the drinks around you were chatting and with somebody and she just goes hey do you think she's hot and pointed to you and and she goes well well yeah and she goes well do you like girls because she does and she'd like to eat your pussy at which point in time what did she say she's like really yeah and i i chimed in magically that moment in time i'd be there but i could just watch if need be as it was what i and she's like so wait a minute you guys are the swingers and we're like yeah we're the swingers and then we just yes then we're like yep we sure are and um these are the ways that some bar is that this everything that you've ever heard us say i we're doing this show tonight because we want you to know that even though nobody's perfect we all we all make mistakes and and tonight's thing is mild compared to uh what saturday night is going to be so uh hopefully you guys can still see us and hear a slide.

Your phone still works. It's the computer that died. Okay. How did that happen? I have no idea. Do you have it plugged in? I thought I did. I must not have. Anyways, okay. So the thing is, is that... Rocket size. Fuck. So we were very, very close to closing the deal. She was actually outside talking with our friends that are DJs and they're like, you should do it. And, and they're very, very nice and you'll have a good time. And wait, we're going back Friday. That's really the short version is we're going back Friday. I don't remember it either.

So the thing is, no, Miss Amanda does not remember this. The next day, though, because the gal was like, well, here, friend me on Facebook. And you were like, eee, drunk as fuck. And so she's like, here, give me your phone. I do remember that. And she put, so she's in. She found herself and she friended me with my phone. Yes. So she's in. So we're right there. But Miss Amanda was too drunk to actually close the deal. At one point in time, it was a karaoke bar. I got to say karaoke at the end. Miss Amanda did not remember that the next day. Weird.

But her and the waitress were singing and dancing together right there. I was like, we're so fucking close. This is going to happen. Fuck, this didn't happen. So it's just one of those things where the point of this story is we got lucky because it was a small bar. Yeah. And and because we supposedly I was making out with you made out with a couple of different followers Actually that night I did?

You did One of them told me I did Because he asked me if I remember it I don't know who the other one was The other one was the gal That you was over tonight I believe you smooched with him Did I really? Yeah because I was getting pissed off pissed off. And he's a good kisser. Well, because I was getting pissed off. I'm like, you can fucking fuck him whenever you want. Why are we not fucking going after somebody what's new right here, right now? So the thing is, it's like, okay, well this is, you know, like son of a bitch. So the lesson here is we got lucky. Everybody's having fun.

There wasn't anybody really there. It wasn't. It was maybe just we were laughing and joking and talking loud. But if you weren't right there, it wasn't like a lot other than you occasionally making out. Which isn't that uncommon. People on a birthday thing getting drunk and making out with somebody. Right. I don't know? I don't know. What time do we start? Don't worry about it. I forgot to write it down. Anyways, okay, so the thing is, is that we talk about discretion, and generally, discretion is a really good, a good thing.

And it's like, this is just one of those things that, so even when you mean well, granted having fun it was a birthday so we could kind of get away with because it was a birthday celebration you have to keep in mind discretion now this is going to end well i think because hopefully next week we'll be talking about this that we the vanilla we picked up and fucking converted but i could hard to tell okay we don. We don't know. I'll stay sober this time. I'm not doing that again. Now, that's where the other part of the story, Friday night, we want to talk about.

We talk about not drinking too much. So let's talk a little bit about that part of it, shall we? Sure. So. You can't turn down shots of people by you for your birthday. No, you are absolutely right. You cannot. Most definitely. I just couldn't handle all of them. But let's talk about the car ride home. Shall we for just a moment? Fuck me running. You would have. I've heard the story twice now. Well, it's to help you remember. Here's the thing. I remember you asked me if I wanted food. Yes. I said to you as we were going to the car, you need to be cool because we don't want to draw attention.

It's College World Series time, so you don't want to draw attention. And you're going, hee, giggle, giggle. So we pour you into the passenger seat. Thank you. Because we don't want to draw attention. It's College World Series time, so you don't want to draw attention. And you go, hee, giggle, giggle. So we pour you into the passenger seat, right? Glug. I don't remember. And you even said, you go, oh, are you okay, or should I drive? I'm like, no, I got her. You go ahead to there. I did not know at this point in time that you had not remembered anything from two hours before that. Okay.

If she said bye to you, she doesn't remember it. Just FYI, so you know. You'll come up in conversation. Yeah, don't worry. You're coming up next, buddy. You're the second half of the show. The thing is that But Hillary isn't innocent either. No. So, when we get in the car, and we start going... Now, there were times years ago when we would party in Omaha. It's about an hour from Lincoln. And on the way back, you'd be really drunk. Not all the time, but sometimes you'd be really drunk. No, not all the time. It's more you than me. But when you were drunk, I kept my pants on when I was drunk.

You didn't.

off You'd be jacking off And every now and then you'd be really drunk Slow down so the trucks can see Slow down so it wouldn't go by truck With your pants off jacking off in the car On the way home Never just in city We're just going across town in Lincoln It's not that big We come up over one hill theredonald's says hey do you need any food and you're like maybe some ice cream i'm like do you want ice cream like no i'm good if you want something get something i said no i'm okay and you go oh okay and you go i know and next thing you know you're undoing your pants and they're coming off your foot's up on the dash and we're in the city and it's not that late it's late but it's not that late and you're just like oh and you're grabbing at my hand because you want me to touch it and touch my feel it feel it yeah well pretty much pet the kitty and i'm like okay yep and i'm like you've got to be cool we're in traffic and i'm like you've got to be cool and you're like it is and we have to go right past the police station to get past our house and i'm and and i'm like okay you need to put your foot down but we're gonna go right past the cop shop maybe they want to see no no no they don't, they don't.

No, they don't. And I don't want to be doing a breathalyzer on the side of the road because I've got drunk girl with me in the car. And you're like, I think they would. And I'm like, no, no. So besides jacking off all the way home, right? You only need one-handed. Yeah, I got no shit. And there's a little, I need to clean the car, but there's a little footie print up on the dash because your legs are short where your foot was. But then you turn to me and you say, hey, you know, I think you could fuck me in the ass tonight.

And I'm like, because you're not big on anal sex sometimes, but we haven't had anal sex for like a year. Yeah, it's been a while. And I said, I have used plugs that you just don't know it. Okay, great. And maybe that's your thing. I said, honey, it's been about a year. I don't think that's a good idea. You go, no, I've been doing it way more recently than that. And I'm like, and I cracked the joke. And I go, well, what have you been letting, insert name here, boy toy, fuck your ass? You're like, not yet.

And all smiley, spirky, which is really funny because you keep saying his dick's so big you're never going to let him fuck you in the ass. I'm like, okay. And I'm like, honey, here's the thing. I don't, you know, I, you know, I don't want to hurt you. And I'm not, you know, a porn star, but you'd have known the next day. And then you're sitting there, you're, you're like reasoning with me. You're like, oh, but I, don't you think it would be worth it?

I'm like, look, I don't know if it'll be worth it or not for you but i really don't think this is a good idea at all thank god we're almost home i mean you're busy whacking off and jacking off and trying to get me to agree to fuck you in the ass going past the police station we're coming up to a major intersection and there's cars all over i'm just going please god let the light stay green so we didn't have socks and i'm like we're fucking out we're all going to jail so we when we get home We don't have a garage We don't have a garage You're like Let's We're all going to jail.

So when we get home, we don't have a garage. We don't have a garage. You're like, let's fuck outside because you like outdoor sex. And you're drunk. You put your pants on to get out of the car. That's good because there's neighbors out in the neighborhood. So that's a win. We've got an outside topless to take a picture before. Well, right. But this is you're drunk and you were pulling your pants down by the gate wiggling your ass. And you came up with the grand scheme that we needed to fuck in the hammock. Fuck yeah.

And I'm like, sweetie, I can't even sit in the hammock without dumping my ass over. We're not going to fuck in the hammock. You're like, come on. And you drop to your knees and you undo my pants and start sucking my dick. Which I'm like, okay, rock people rolling all over the fucking there i'm like oh my god not that i normally would care but i'm like oh you're gonna care so finally i get you in the house okay i'm like okay great the dogs are excited to see us we blow right past the dogs we go in the bedroom and you're stripping in the bedroom. You're getting naked in the bedroom.

Sure, I don't remember. I know you don't, and we'll get to that part. We're stripping down in the bedroom. Great, no worries. We start to fuck. We're going for a while, and you're like, ow. And all of a sudden, you're like, this hurts. Well, I don't want to hurt you, so I stop. Because I don't want to hurt you. We fuck for like 10 minutes, and you're like, all of a sudden, you're like, it hurts.

i don't want her so i stop because i mean i don't want to i don't want to hurry we fucked for like 10 minutes and you're like also you're like it hurts okay so we stop again in my mind i'm thinking and she thought it would have fucking ripped she wouldn't have been a good idea up her ass yeah no whatever so i'm like okay well i'm gonna fucking finish off here and at first like you were gonna help then you're like, the shaking is making me sick. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'll take care of it. And then you roll over for a second. Then you come back. You're like, no, I can help.

And so I'm like, okay, great. And so you're sucking on my nipple, toggling my nut. And all of I just, I, I, I need to fuck boy toy. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, what? And you're like, and you're sitting there and you're, you're looking at these glassy eyes and you're just like, I need boy toys, dick in my mouth now and lick your lips.

I'm just like alright honey just fucking roll over and go fucking to bed so I'm like I'm just gonna finish this shit myself at this point in time and you roll over and all of a sudden you go hey there's a shoe in my bed whose shoe is this sweetie that's your shoe that you just fucking took off so you you like chuck the shoe and you go to sleep and I finally found like whatever so the next day comes around right you get up at like 730 she's still drunk when she gets up that was awesome and come to find out you do not remember leaving the bar. You don't remember.

You remember talking about ice cream, but you don't remember begging for butt sex. No. You don't remember about fucking. You're like, wait a minute. We fucked? Seriously? Yeah, I don't remember that at all. Yeah, at all. You don't remember fucking talking about your boy toy and needing to fuck him and with a lick lip, needing his dick in your mouth. That's a mood killer. God, that's funny. And you don't remember this shoe. So this long story of this whole thing is, do you see why alcohol consumption is such a big deal? I mean, here's the thing. Usually, I don't forget anything, but wow.

And you're not even being able to piece shit together. We're finding out the next day, people are putting pictures on. Oh, great. And you're like, when was that picture? And they're like, it was like two hours before we fucking left for the night. And I don't remember taking it. And you didn't give any of the outwards. I mean, I guess it should have been a red flag when you were jacking off on your way home. The next night, I got asked, well, we made out. We did? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Thank you.

night and i don't remember taking it and and you didn't give any of the outwards i mean i guess i it should have been a red flag when you were the next night i got asked well we made out we did yeah oh fuck yeah no shit and you don't remember it no this is why now let's let's look at this scenario for just a second look at all the bad things that could have happened because you drank too much your ass could be shredded because i could have went okay if it wasn't your husband And somebody else might have been like well she said fuck me in the ass your boy toy who's a little bigger than me might have jumped that opportunity and shredded your butt you never know i could have been a smart ass and when you said how much you needed your boy toy i could have handed you the phone at two in the morning and said why don't you give him a call that would have been kind of funny.

So that could have maybe been a bad thing. And possibly getting pulled over and me being arrested for fucking because God knows what you would have said or done if we got pulled over in the fucking car with your pants. Amanda roofied herself. Yeah, Amanda roofied herself. No, because the next day he puts a picture, changes his Facebook picture, and I'm in the living room. He's in his office. Working. Not hungover. And he changes it to him singing. And I went, did you sing karaoke? I'm just like. And he goes, oh, my God. Yes, I did. I'm like. Not a single fucking outward sign.

So, again, the point of this whole long story is... So I cock-blocked him. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, fuck you. And myself, apparently. Yeah, you cocked... You clip-blocked yourself, cock-blocked me, tried to put on a show for the Lincoln Police Department and any other motorists that might have been traveling the highways and byways of Lincoln on Friday night. I don't... I don't...

Well, I kind of remember sitting my water down on the table I don't i i don't well i kind of remember sitting my water down on the table outside that was so you could have my dick i don't remember sucking your dick well it is more impressive than that ladies normally it is a memorable thing just saying oh god uh yeah and and aren't you glad you do yoga because your fucking hips would have hurt the way your leg was twisted up on the fucking dash of the car and shit oh my lord you talk about could have been a fucking disaster so you know these are the these are the little things that uh look that we talk about the value of alcohol and and why you have to be careful because look at all the things i'm i'm kind of glad that some stranger didn't walk up and say you want to come home because you might have just left with anybody.

Here's what I dislike. I like to remember stuff. So I'm asking you, did I have fun? Yeah, no shit. I don't like to forget. When you're looking at pictures and you're like, well, was I having fun? You had a great time. You had a blast. So I asked her, I said, did I have a good time? Was it fun? Did I say anything that is bad? Other than... Did I say anything that could hurt anybody? Because you said I mentioned his name. I'm like, ah, fuck. Did I really? Did I say anything hurtful? Was it bad? Was it good? Was it offensive? Fuck, I don't know. No, but okay.

But with that, I'm going to put this in in there Now, people have to understand our dynamics For me Because I dig threesomes I dig threesomes And I dig the kinds of you fucking other guys And I dig that Being a part of that whole scenario So to me, it's hot So, like when you say his name, the way you said it was funny as fuck, cause it was just like serious, you know, but I wouldn't, but I don't say that in general, but it wouldn't, it didn't offend me.

But some people that could have like, that could have been like, if you were new, if with this whole boyfriend, girlfriend concept and what we do was new, that could have been like a fucking fight waiting to happen the next day. It wasn't with us. It's funny as fuck. But it just shows liquor. So, see, that's two examples in one night of us breaking our rules. So a man is not allowed to have two mixed drinks and six double shots, especially when two of them are tequila and the other one is adios, motherfucker. I can't handle it. Thank you.

I have two mixed drinks and six double shots, especially when two of them are tequila and the other one is adios, motherfucker. I can't handle it. No, you're just reworking your talk. How long has it been since we've been out drinking? A long time, a long time. But see, this kind of stuff is important to show that nobody is perfect.

We talk about the things we know better than than being being loud in public which wait till you hear about saturday about being loud in public and about getting too drunk and yet we still it happens to like everybody and it can still be an epic night but just understand you know you could still be fucking needing a fucking diaper for your butt if you'd have been left to your own devices. No, my last birthday, we had gone to a bar that was, you can't stand up, but you can socialize at a table. We all got drunk, and I did hound you for butt sex, and you did give me anal sex. I did.

And I didn't feel a thing the next day. But you remembered it, and you knew what you were asking for. is a huge difference my fear would have been is that is that you would have been like wait a minute that's a dick in my butt what are you doing and the next day when you went did you fuck me in the ass i would have been like i'd have been nice and relaxed well well lubed all right so it is halftime okay hey great news kids, kids. Don't go away, because this Saturday night, you got to hear this Saturday night to hear other things that we should know better to do than what we did.

But in the meantime, I think there might be a guest. Oh, good God. Ready? No. Let's see who's at the door. Ding dong. Open the door. Ow! Yes? How can I help you, ma'am? Fuck, you failed. You couldn't even jump in. Hey, you know what? If you want to hear more about our silly bullshit, making doorbell sounds for nothing, then make sure you check us out at crazy... I don't know where we're at crazycasba.com Check out all of our shit.

Sign up for our events our campouts, our parties, our our drunken festivities Sign up today at crazycasba.com and don't forget to buy our merch Full Swap Shop and other things There you go. That was horrible because you didn't answer I tried to turn it to you to have you jump in there and you totally fumbled. You didn't tell me I was going to have to participate. You answered the door. If you answered the door in real life, what do you do? Do you stand there and go, kihi, or do you say hello? It depends on who's at the door. Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. So Saturday. Oh, God. Go.

I woke up at 7.30. Drunker and fuck. And I was still drunk. Sobered up for the Pride Parade. Let's take a quick second to talk about that. Well, I was going to anyway. That's why I jumped in. I didn't know if you were going to participate or not. Should we ring the doorbell again? Fuck off. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. Okay, so I read the time wrong. I thought it started at 9.30. No, it really started at 9.00. But at least I went around the Capitol twice and it's all good. Yes. So we go to the Pride Parade. This was the first Pride Parade in Lincoln.

And we were very happy to go down there and be a part of that. Because obviously Miss Amanda is bi. So I wore my bisexual shirt and I had a bandana that said bisexual pride. And we were happy to be supportive. I didn't run into my coworker, which surprised me. That was right. We didn't see anybody we knew. But there was a lot of people there. We didn't see anybody we knew. There was a lot of people there, which was really impressive. And I cannot stress enough to support in your own community. Everybody is equal. Support show.

Two of the coolest groups that went through, in my opinion, was there was some Native American dancers. Yes. That had their Native costumes and garb, but obviously in rainbow colors. And there was... One had a flag around. flag and because obviously, and then there was also, uh, some, uh, a group, uh, African-American group that was celebrating both pride and Juneteenth. And the reason both of those were so big deal to me is that because of, of every, every culture has different stigmas, right?

And different cultures have different varying degrees of level of acceptance within their own communities both of those communities are communities that there's a lot a lot of negativity that would be associated with coming out and so fucking you know that that takes balls that takes guts that's that's damn impressive so i'm just gonna it's impressive for everybody that came out and there was a float with pink flamingos there was a float but they were that was from the max the the uh a long time gay dance club in lincoln omaha the max is in omaha in omaha yeah and that was and that.

And it was cool to see how many families. There was a shit ton of families. There was, you saw people like the sign mom hug, dad hugs, like supporting for their kids and stuff like that. And you saw there was a lot of teens, preteens, teens, whatever that were couples that were with their parents and their parents were there being supportive.

And that's pretty fucking cool when you think about the suicide rates and all that kind of shit and the unacceptance in the world so it was that's the first time i'd ever been to have you ever been something like that like in new orleans or anything when you're growing up or see anything like it no it wasn't't. So we broadened our horizons and I'm glad we did. I don't know if I would call it broadening our horizons. Good God, I can't talk. Have you been drinking? Our horizons. Somewhat. We experienced something new. I honestly didn't know when they were and I just happened to Google it.

no and and there was more stuff going on throughout the day i think there was some festivals and special stuff but we we went at the parade and i'm glad we did and i think it was very cool and i i think people in the lifestyle uh you can can and should be supportive of things like that because that has there's huge parts of that that obviously affect our I don't know. and should be supportive of things like that because there's huge parts of that that obviously affect our part of the lifestyle, for one.

But two, if there's any group of people that should understand bullshit, misunderstandings, and rumors, and understand people not having an understanding but making a judgment, it should be in the lifestyle yeah i mean that should be so that needs to be something to be supportive so but it was fun i'll do it again yeah absolutely absolutely well that was very cool so we did that saturday and then we spent the rest of saturday i spent it laying around yeah somebody someone was trying to fucking rebuild their fucking go get them for saturday night yeah i don't know if i did that but i tried you like a boss so so saturday night's party we immediately when we left the house saturday night we took all the lessons that we had learned of things we shouldn't do at a vanilla bar that we had reminded ourselves the night before of we took them all, wadded them up and threw them directly out of our mind and away we went to Omaha I would like to say that this story continued with Amanda continued to be A drunken fucking fool And a drunken party girl But it took a different twist I didn't start off immediately With a drink I was hesitant Then I decided no go ahead and have one So I got a rum that isn't strong, or at least the flavor, so I could stomach it.

I had that, and then someone else ordered me a drink. I had that. And then you gave me a shot, and it was just a little bitty one-ounce cup. And do you know why I gave you that shot? I gave you and Ann. We had another birthday girl there. There's a birthday shot. You and Hillary. Let's see if I could stomach it. Well, you and Hillary were birthday girls, so we got you each a shot.

and we had another birthday girl there you and you and see if i could stomach well you and hillary were birthday girls so we gave you each i got each a shot and i had told you that that was going to be the test because you were gonna have to get with that first one you were either going to be able to stomach stomach it or you were going to be fucking toast and luckily there were small shots and and like a boss i took it you sweated sweated a little bit. You had a hot flash. No, I took it. But when it hit my stomach, ow. So I said, someone goes, do you want something to drink?

I said, no, I'm good. Do you want something not alcoholic? And and i'm like i would like a diet because okay i'll go get that for you and brought me a diet and i sipped on that for the remainder of the evening now our nights took a little bit of a different turn because i got there and if you know me and those of you listening that have been drinking with me through the years know exactly what i drink my drink is the easiest drink in the world to get right and how I don't know. me and those of you listening that have been drinking with me through the years know exactly what I drink.

My drink is the easiest drink in the world to get, right? And how a waitress makes a shit ton of money off of me and tips is to make my drink correctly, which my drink is always the same. I need a tall double burnt rum and Coke. That's it. The correct color of a tall, double, burnt rum and coke. That's it. The correct color of a tall, double, burnt rum and coke is about the color of like... Iced tea. Iced tea. So a little darker than pee, but that's it. And I got to tell you that they had one bartender there and she was wonderful. She knocked that shit straight out of the park. I don't know.

and I got to tell you that they had one bartender there and she, she was wonderful. She knocked that shit straight out of the park. I, when I went up to get you your shot, she saw me coming and she grabbed a glass and started pulling it. I used to start making me my drink. I was like, no.

I'm just getting a couple of shots, but I like the way you think keep up the great work so and which which she did um and i was quickly quickly as they're coming to to my room now here's the thing with this bar it's another great little dive bar dive bars are the greatest bars to go to especially if you're going to throw any rules of decorum swinger rules out the fucking window fucking window, okay? There was a small little group. It was a pretty decent-sized group. But luckily, the numbers were pretty evenly paired. Yeah, it's about the same. That plays a big role in this story as we go.

So we had a back room, quote-unquote. I'm doing a quote little thing with my fingers. Because you can see right through there. There's no, like, curtains. There's a half wall, and it's the lower half. Yeah, yeah. It's hiding nothing. As we went, first the AC wasn't working that part, but once the group got bigger, we moved back there a little bit and proceeded to party. When I went up to get that shot, this is an important note of the story, the bartender said to me, when I said, you're doing a great job, I like the way you think.

She goes, well, one thing's for sure, your group sure seems to be having an awful lot of fun back there.

And boy, were we having an awful lot of fun back there and boy were we having an awful lot of fun back there so the stories are being told inside voice was completely outside out of the out of the fucking there was a lot of people nobody had an inside voice and at on at least three different occasions there was no noise coming from the back room because everybody was making out with somebody that they didn't walk in with that wasn't their spouse and it wasn't like somebody with the bar would have looked over and said oh isn't that cute all those couples making out with their significant other nope there was no way no way if you'd look more than one time that...

Because you could look back over, and it was almost like, and when the music stops, switch. And away we go. And here's the thing. As much as I want to go that I took some magical high road in this whole sort of thing. That would have been majorly mean. That would have been closer, yes, Miss Amanda. I actually was probably one of the worst. Myself and another young lady, who will remain nameless, birthday girl. So, yeah, we were making out on the pool table.

Y'all were making out on the pool table on the pool table you thought that you were drunk so you thought that y'all were laying on the pool table i'm like no she leaned back you kind of leaned in y'all were making out it was all good but no one would have looked over went oh look they're shooting pool no no the the thought process came up to like there wasn't anybody there was that they had a ratty volleyball court out there to go fuck at the ball in the volleyball court but and thank god your drunken self says you know what that's probably wouldn't be a good idea or i'd take her out right now actually both of us kind of thought that way but at one point in time to kind of give you just an overall lay of the land because there was three pool tables and some tables and booths and whatever everybody was making out with somebody there was one couple where they were over in the booth and and the gal was making out and on top of the dude grinding grinding away yep and sitting on the other table the guy was making out and he was finger banging her i'm rolling around on the fucking pool table That was a little bit more discreet though I was rolling around on the pool table A little bit apparently I made out with two people Or no three I don't know I was busy And the other people stand up in front of the pool I mean it is I mean I was sober but I was Well there was just a party atmosphere Making out It was just There was And the concept And here's the thing Thank you.

I mean, I was sober, but I was... Well, there was just a party atmosphere. Making out. It was just, there was, and the concept, and here's the thing, granted, it's a dive bar, rock the fuck on, but any rules that we've ever talked about, completely, this is a do as we say, not as we do.

Before we had moved from the regular bar part to the reserved room we're sitting there talking and there was maybe three four couples in our group there was a table of like three or four guys turning around so I think they were hearing the conversation because it wasn't quiet but just to watch them turn around and you just kind of go welcome to the party i know that myself uh and and miss hillary to show to be super discreet about our drunkenness uh there was another older guy there with a young gal who i was of course who, who was doing karaoke, who I was, of course, was cracking jokes.

And then the jokes were flying about whether or not, you know, he had a hooker or whatever. And so I said, and see, this is what happens when I drink. I get these great ideas. I said, hey, let's go sing with him. Because it's going to be sweet Caroline. Let's go sing with him. Miss Amanda, who's the voice of reason, who stops me a lot of times from doing things, says, no, but she didn't say it loud enough. And I had a partner in crime who went, as Hillary goes, that's a great idea. And so away we went. Y'all ended up on the freaking stage. I was embarrassed. Oh, you weren't that embarrassed.

Oh, yes, I was. I've embarrassed you way more than that. No, enough to when you go, oh, we're going to sing happy birthday. Amanda, come here. I'm like, fuck no, I don't want to go. Do I have to go? No, I don't want to go. Please don't make me go. I don't want to be seen. No, let's not.

You didn't see that part because you were drunk and already halfway over there we might have told the you thought i was the quiet one we might have told the karaoke gal that it was that it was uh you're not a bad influence he's the bad one it was that it was hillary someone got pictures of you singing oh awesome sweet send those through uh that am It was Amanda's and Hillary's birthday. And so then, of course, she's like, well, we should sing happy birthday. And, of course, I'm like, that is a wonderful idea. And you're like, that is a horrible idea.

And so, no, but even other than that, and you're used to me doing stupid shit. Let's be honest. Hillary's going to feel bad. This is totally, this is a very typical. This isn't new. No, this is a very typical Cole night when we go drink. Look, if you want to have fun, come party with Cole. Sometimes if I get embarrassed, I will literally go hide. Yeah. Look, if you want to have fun, come party with Cole. It's always innocent. And usually I'm more discreet. It is. It's just sometimes embarrassing.

If you get me at a closed swinger bar and drunk, not drunk but tipsy oh fuck there's no rules we just like to have fun where it's innocent but yes i yeah no no adult supervision whatsoever at all uh so so you were the drunk one i was the sober one because you're kind of running out of time you You were the drunk one. I was the sober one. But here's the best part. So when it was time to leave, we're all making out now. Yeah, now everybody. It isn't just a peck on the lips goodbye. Oh no. It's a full bore. The bartender loved it. We all had a great time. We go to leave, and it always happens.

You don't like to drive when it rains. You don't mind it. If it's to where it's blinding, I don't like it. I'm drunk, so I'm not driving. So we get in the car. We were tracking the storm to where we said, oh, we're going to get hit at about 2 o'clock. That's when the bars close. That's when the bars close. So I was keeping that in mind, so I kind of knew that that was going on. Ha,'s just sprinkling. We're like, we can get out of town before it really lets loose. Okay. We get in the car. We had to drive down the road several blocks. And then we get on the interstate.

And then it was a massive downpour. It's poor. So I'm white knuckled. You're sitting there going. I'm like, I just wish I could see the lines. I know. You're doing good, baby. You're doing good. And I'm just freaking out.

You're like, you're in the lines i'm like how the fuck can you tell you probably see four of them train wrecked drunk i'm trying to help be a positive influence with the window down while it's raining in and she's funny she's like just lay your head back roll up the fucking window and shut up i'm like okay i'll do that if that helps so i pass out and then all of a sudden i'm awoken to no no no you passed out one time i did and you go oh i'm sorry i must have drifted out there a little bit and i'm like yeah about 20 minutes but you're good you lasted longer on the interstate than i thought well i was i was watching the lines i was trying to help so we get 8 to 15 miles outside of Omaha.

Which means we have about 40 minutes before we're home to lincoln yeah we have a ways to go it's too i look down i'm like ah fuck and he goes what because i'm gonna help i'm like the check engine light Just come on. So the car we just got back. You've got to be shitting me. No. You're pissed off. I'm pissed off. I'm pissed, and then I helped. Now, let's not leave out how I helped. You're like, it's all good. Is it acting funny? No, it's not acting funny. It's still driving just fine. I'm paranoid as fuck. And I never, for the rest of the way home, I want this duly noted.

I don't know how this was going to help, but I thought it was. I took and I stared intently at the check engine light for the next 40 miles. I never took my eyes off. No, you did fall back asleep. You did the head bob thing. You fell asleep with your head down.

And it's like, okay, so I'm just all the way going, okay, so when you get to town, hilarious i don't want to stop at any freaking stop sign stop light nothing no no because i'm afraid the car is gonna die because we just had all the fuel stuff replaced but i had my pants on it's important to know i had my pants on i did not even play with yourself nothing i i don't usually play with the most i do is throw up but i don't usually play with myself you have once or twice once or twice out of the hundreds of times you've driven my drunk ass home yeah uh no no i did not ask for antler butt sex no i did not ask for any of those things.

And I wouldn't have asked if it was going to be a good time either. I swear to God, I wouldn't have. I kept my pants on, my hands off of myself, and we made it home. And when we got home, I was too drunk. Okay. Again, the dangers of alcohol. This doesn't happen very often because I don't get whiskey dick. That's very, very important. I do not get whiskey dick. In fact, when I've been drinking, I fuck longer. Is that not true? It gets hard and it doesn't go down. If you're too drunk, you can't hold yourself up.

The problem is if I'm too drunk Then I'm just tired And I just It's too much work But I was I offered to get on top I was super horny Yes you were From making out Imagine that I was like So But So you You helped me But We didn't fuck Because I didn't want to do the work of fucking But I just wanted to duly know but i offered to get on top and you're like no no no just no just just help me just help yeah okay yeah help meaning i tickle his balls i rub his dick a little bit i might have said a name yeah i did yeah he did but it but i i haven't had sex with that person yet so it's okay.

So we kind of both said a random name. Neither one of them was random. Right. I said the name of why I was hard and why I was horny. But it took too much work to fuck, so we didn't get to that. And then guess what? On Sunday, on Father's Day. I said, how do you feel? He goes, hungover as fuck. Yeah. So hopefully, you know, and I know we're running out of time. I don't know how much time it is. Here's the thing. We hope that this show helps everybody remember the important lessons of, one, don't ask for butt sex unless you really want it. Two. Maybe I really wanted it, damn it.

Two, have a better car. Three, discretion. You know, it's probably not a bad thing to take some time to review those things for most vanilla bars. Remembering, dive bars don't count. So with all of that being said, hopefully this show, and we wanted to show again, we give advice, we tell people what the things to do, but you know what? Here's the deal. It happens. Nobody in our group, either one of them, tend to care. No. And it wasn't a mega, so it was not a mega, mega situation, but it's just one of those things, just the reminder so that we all know, you know, it can, we forget.

It's been a long time since we've, everybody's got to be out to meet and greets and parties and events. So you know what? We've been doing this 10 fucking years almost 11 years now and you know what anybody can forget so this show was we wanted to do a show we're we're fucking human very fucking human and to do as a reminder of hey let's all remember and you know be careful and we've been cracking everybody up telling these stories all weekend and we know two great bars if you'd like to come and just get fucking stupid did you tell your mother? Oh, that's the other thing. My mom was here.

She got to see all the stuff in the studio. She wanted to see everything, so it was fun pointing out the massive dildo. That was hilarious. She didn't want to touch it. But then we had to explain to her, because there's a motor bunny for parties sitting on the floor in a box. But she's like, well, what's a motor bunny? So I'm like, I'll explain this one. I got this. It has this little saddle with a dildo on it, and you ride on it. Sometimes it vibrates. You can control the amount of rides. She's like, oh. We spent about an hour in the studio going through all the stuff.

She wanted to show the stuff people had sent us. That was so funny. We were keeping it pretty fucking real overall, but you know what? That's what this is all about. I forgot about all this shit. Hopefully next week, hey, everybody, we need you to do something for us. Keep your fingers crossed.

I can tell you where we're going to be Friday night After the rehearsal And keep your fingers crossed Because hopefully Hopefully Next Sunday we have a very We don't do sex story shows But if he actually can land this one But if we can land this one He'll tell you about it You fuck yeah I'm going to be telling people about it Are you fucking kidding me That's because it's the show me state. Show me Hillary. Just saying. So, um, we got a code. What time? Where are we at? You're at an hour. Oh, Jesus. Fuck, sweet. I told you you were out of time. Well, I don't. Fuck, I don't pay attention.

Anyways. Apparently. Oh, well, now you remember. Way to go, pumpkin. Anyways. I'm sober. Want butt sex?

Anyways, with that being said being said maybe hey don't forget you can send your questions to us at crazy k-r-a-z-y dot casbah k-a-s-b-h at gmail.com don't forget our paid sponsors asn lifestyle magazines.com and the asn award show meet us there meet us greet us give her tequila vote for us and maybe she'll uh if you need that If you vote for us we'll share that link absolutely and full swap shop go buy some swag man uh it's pretty awesome shit uh find us at truth crazy miss amanda's on twitter uh listen to us on fullswapradio.com our show airs on mondays at 5 p.m and again 11 p.m central standard time plus there's other great shows on there so with that being said doing it the only way i know how the only way i want to and the only way i ever fucking will can't wait to fuck some of you very soon see y'all soon casbah style out bye