Krazy Truth #106 Boat Sex.

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I am your host with the most, I am Cole, and I'm here with the lovely lovely and slightly frustrated miss amanda hey and we are here to titillate you and make shit up as we go no that's not what we're here to do at all we're here to educate alleviate hopefully try not to hate and get all kinds of stuff answer your questions in a crazy and truthful way and be different than other people that's what we're here for are we really that different no actually we are we're that's part of our yeah don't trust me we are but we got all kinds of cool shit coming up and so that that's what makes it fun so of course we keep recording on different days now so we're just absolutely fucking our schedule up uh and we're fighting facebook and we're fighting for those that don't know follow along kids we actually have a big secret facebook crowd uh crazy casbah shh don't tell the others uh that we'd love to have you a part of and we do recording live in front of them uh every sunday sometimes monday sometimes tuesday we just kind of record whenever you good you hopping You hopping around there? What's going on?
Speaker2: Getting comfy.
Speaker1: We're getting cuddlies. So, yeah. Oh, isn't that sweet? Good Lord.
Speaker3: All right, I'm done.
Speaker1: She was earlier taking pictures.
Speaker3: Sprinkles. Titties.
Speaker1: Titty sprinkles.
Speaker2: Titty sprinkles.
Speaker1: Anyways. Hey, you know, before we get going too far, I got to do this real quick, God, I really need to work on this, so, a big shout out to our, well, first of all, this is season three, and away we go, this is season three, episode 106, and it is proudly brought to you by our good friends at nomorewetspot.com. Are you tired of sleeping in the wet spot? Of course you are. No more, no more. That's correct. Our good friends at nomorewetspot.com have created a blanket with cool, dry fleece designed to catch your sex fluids. That'd be like squirters, lubes, et cetera, visit them today at nomorewetspot.com. Make sure you let them know that we sent you a truth in the code, and when you order it, you'll get a 5% discount. Also, you can check them out on our website as well. We are affiliates of the good folks at nomorewetspot.com so make sure you get them today that's smooth wasn't it yeah uh and also don't forget to visit our stuff we'll talk more about our stuff a little bit so our stuff there you go uh but yeah so anyways uh technology we're working on it we're getting there if you haven't had a chance you need to go check out our youtube channel yes it's us sitting around talking yes it's us doing what we do but it is uh it's kind of cool and we've got some look we've got some badass things there's a huge huge release uh that we are super stoked and excited to be a part of coming out next week uh so when you guys get hear this on thursday you know the thing is you're gonna hear it on thursday and guess what uh on that monday it's june 1st get ready hold on to your ass kids uh new things are coming but i'm gonna tell you you're gonna want to be a part of our youtube channel as well or you're gonna miss a lot of really badass shit that we've got coming out so don't don't be that don't be that person sitting home going oh fuck i missed it oh Don't do that to yourself. You know what I mean? Right. You want to sit in the microphone or next to the stand, however? I was trying to. Never mind. Forget it. She was mouth deep. You can do it now. You can adjust accordingly if you'd like. Now, just. It's fine. No, now I want to see. Damn it. see damn it just now damn it no this has been an awesome long weekend home together the quality time that that we share is just fucking wonderful so um yeah hey by the way you want to know what's a lot of fun watch your heart your your uh what was it blood pressure blood pressure that's right 189 over 108 we We're not going there. Yeah, that was fun yesterday. Anyways, all right, so. That was him, not me. Yeah, imagine that. Hmm, I'll be damned. Someone started panicking a little bit. Panic attack. Yeah, yeah, we were ahead of there. Anyways, but we're all better now, and we're here to titillate uh so let's jump into the action now i'm gonna be honest with the show there's gonna be lots of us yammering because it's it's a holiday weekend so wait but but holidays don't stop us damn it we power right through that shit we are here for you oh god okay so the first question you You're a loopy as fuck. Yeah. You get to go back to work tomorrow. I get to stay here and keep right on working. Nothing changes for me. Trust me. I would like to stay home. Really? Uh-huh. Bullshit. I did it for years. How would you get laid? Well, that's the benefit of being at home. Okay. It won't be with the work guy. But that's beside the point. Could be. I don't know how many cars you get. Okay. So anyways, so our question comes to us from Jasmine. Are you all right? We even recorded way earlier than normal and you're still fucking falling. Holy shit. You're like the dog in the car. Seriously. We take our little dog with us a lot of places because he's cool and he's because we're friends and uh he sleeps in the car all the time so obviously we get back here and you just start yawning wow i told you i could have taken a nap well i just i thought according to order earlier i wasn't boring Am I boring you? Maybe I just have a lack of oxygen. Am I sucking it all out of the room?
Speaker2: Apparently you need it more than I do anyway.
Speaker1: I know, that would be blood flow, dear, blood flow. So, anywho, back to Jasmine. So, Jasmine is part of a couple. Okay. So, but Jasmine is writing, Jasmine's the one that's writing in. And they are, they're from Missouri. Okay. Okay. So Jasmine and her significant other, and I don't know that Jasmine's actually her real name because they're listeners to the show and didn't want to, you know, give too much away. Anyways, so Jasmine's thing is this. They're getting ready for boat season and the boating thing is opening up in the Ozarks and she has a slight problem. What kind of problem? Jasmine is terrified of the water. And I'm like, so I'm reading this and I'm like, okay. So her thing is this. Here was Jasmine's question. They're getting a lot of invites for, and of course, around that area, they get invites anyways from Vanilla, but also now with all the swinger activities going on around water and around boats and go out boating. And she is afraid of the water as a general rule, but she doesn't want to be a buzzkill and be the one that stops everything from happening because her husband's all excited. They're both excited about the swinging and the lifestyle, but there's fear of the water, and she doesn't want him to... They don't want to not go to any events or not be included in anything because of her fear of the water help and she was titled help i can't swim but i help me not drown i feel like i'm drowning so i'm like okay well this would be a pretty good question so i did reach out to jasmine uh they are uh about eight nine ten months in the lifestyle a little bit so So kind of came into it after a lot of the boating season last year so came into it when there were still boating things but there was still a lot of things in their area that were starting to become hotels and and whatever and and i kind of thought it was i thought it was kind of a unique question because i never being where we're in a landlocked state i never thought about this And then I was like, well, this is actually a pretty good question because I have a feeling I think it can go a little deeper than just the water. But so right now people are going, I didn't think a swinger show would be talking about being afraid of the water. But when you think about it, it's pretty relevant. Well, no, if not, if you don't want to be left out well and and here's the thing obviously the first answer everybody goes well duh just you know wear a life jacket or whatever the challenge is and i get it because we we have a ton of friends that go to the ozarks and go boating and we've all seen the pictures from the parties out there and everybody's topless and everybody's drinking everybody's having a good time out on the boats and i can see that if you're the one sitting there with life jacket on you know and you don't want to stand out you don't want to stand out and all the other girls you know you're in a boat with there's five or six girls and all the girls are always laying out on the bow of the boat you know and so i i mean i get it it's very it makes a lot of sense actually and i can see where that would not be fun you couldn't just have a couple shots and and it no because then you'd be afraid to move about the boat yeah i mean any well when people are you know you always hear people they're jumping off the boats and swimming and so the boats are rocking and moving or they're jumping from boat to boat and i i mean that's it's kind of a when you think about it you know if you're nervous before going to like a hotel party or something you can just nerves you can have a shot or two you know maybe or something like that just kind of calm your nerves or whatever but a shot or two probably isn't going to necessarily take your fear away it are they from around the ozark they're from around the ozark they're from around that area so why not meet at a bar that has like the docking well and and that and that might be the answer but you know i think my thing went back to was aren't there other activities hotel parties and things like that still going on and she goes there are but so much of the stuff most of the day or the whole day is usually spent and if you're invited you know right you only turn down so many times for people yeah before people quit inviting you plus let's face it if you're always i mean granted there are a lot of people have to work so excuses saying, hey, whatever, you know, I can't, I can't. But if you actually, if you're from that area and you know people. Yes. Then that have boats, you can go, okay, I am terrified. Can you take me out and show me? Yeah. How not to be. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What are some ways? What are some ways? And the other thing is also, I think, being with, being on boats with people that you know. Because if you don't know somebody real well, and you know, you know how that gets people out on boats, and the faster they go, guys are sort of showing off. The show-off factor, yeah. And if you're terrified, there's nothing quite as terrifying as being on a fucking, it'd be like for me being on a roller coaster. There's nothing wrong with telling people, okay, I'll come, but I come but i'm terrified yeah yeah i'm going to be there with a life jacket on yeah and there's not anything wrong with with being honest and if they don't understand that you know well that's different so i think you'll find that maybe once you get out there on the boat and you do it a couple times you get used to it that maybe you'll start to feel comfortable to peel off the life jacket whatever i mean yeah maybe when it comes time to you need a certain seat in the boat when Thank you. of times you get used to it that maybe you'll start to feel comfortable to peel off the life jacket whatever i mean yeah maybe when it comes time to you need a certain seat in the boat when it's going to or from the dock or maybe you're not going to be you know just jumping in the water swimming but well you can almost give almost an example of that couldn't you oh yeah yeah because yeah when we went out on a boat with a friend like he had the river float behind the boat and there in no fucking way you were getting me out on that motherfucker i did but i was terrified yeah yeah you did but i and and you grew up around well the gulf of mexico so yeah but you didn't go out on the water no but you you went out in the water you went out on boats and stuff so you you knew a little bit more yeah with it i mean it's just one of those things that there's nothing wrong with being afraid there's nothing wrong with admitting that you are uncomfortable but do i think that could there be a thing of if you say no too many times yeah there is i i think the other thing you have to do is be willing to uh be willing to take and you know say look i'm kind of that part i don't dig being out on the boats but again like you said hey we'll meet you when the parties are back on the dock well because in the evenings you know well the thing is is that if you're terrified to go on it on a boat why are you worried about the day events well i think if you're new when you're new you're afraid you're afraid to be left out of stuff i mean if every look if everybody else is doing it and and there's a degree i get it think about all the years we haven't had a motorcycle Okay, so let's look at it this way
Speaker3: Okay
Speaker2: I love this
Speaker1: Oh boy, here we go
Speaker2: So, if we knew a whole lot of swinger people That had helicopters And they said, come on, let's go What's going to be your reaction? I know what mine would be Hell yeah, let's go
Speaker1: I'm going to do it
Speaker2: Well, we're going to go up to this cliff
Speaker1: And we're going to go sit on this cliff And we're going to sit on the edge to have lunch And here's the deal I'm going to sit on the far edge of the cliff Ha-ha the picnic spot i may literally have to crawl because i am what she's trying to get to everybody is the fact that i am fucking deathly afraid of heights there's nothing wrong with that and the thing is but i literally i literally if i had to and and if people made fun of me i don't give two fucks i would literally crawl on my hands and knees if i had to to get to the edge or get as close to the edge as i'm gonna get and i'm gonna tell you what and it won't be on the very end no and i promise you if you think you can walk up behind me and kind of push me further, I will dig in like a fucking grizzly bear. And I promise you will not be able to move my ass for nothing. And you better pray to God I don't have a heart attack or you'll be having to carry my ass down. I know. I've seen it. I've been there and done this shit myself. He actually climbed a mountain and got in a water hole. I did. And he was terrified. No. Let's's tell the story correctly we were up on the top of the we climbed up and went hiking we were in california it was beautiful it was around lake tahoe it was gorgeous and we were with some really good they're vanilla friends and and but we're people that are it's outside and they live in san francisco they're big on the water people all the time they couldn't believe I actually got into this water hole because this big pool, it wasn't big, but it was like the edge. It's a pool and then the waterfall right there. Like it's all connected. Boom. And so I bobbed across to the one side and I'm holding on and i know how to swim i know okay i know how to swim but knowing that that waterfall was there the fear in me it took every amount of of being a dude and not want to lose my man card ever to to get in that water i know and no one could believe i could did it because they all knew and no one was being a dick about it i'm like no no i can no, I can do this, no worries. And I got over to the other side, and then I had to go back across to get out. It would have been like, I'm a tall guy, I'm six foot tall. You know, probably five strokes max. You know, just swim, like I know how to swim. But the fear of that current, it had enough of a push on me that I was just terrified I was going to go over that that edge of that waterfall because it was a big waterfall it was like a 50 foot waterfall i like doggy paddled across in a in a panic i'm going enough that enough that the dude the guy that we're with in front of him is a urologist doc and he was fucking he didn't admit it he was like it's okay he's like super calm he's like yeah it's all good it's all good and everybody's like cheering me to get across this little thing i got out he was as fucking relieved when i got to the other side as i was i know because he literally thought i was gonna have a heart attack i was panicked he didn't know how he was going to get you out. But it's okay. It goes with the fucking territory that you're going to, you know, try to overcome your fear, Jasmine. Try a little bit. Or come up with alternatives, you know. Find somebody you know and go out on their, if they have a boat, and go out on their boat and tell them your concerns. And they will guide you through how to handle or what not to be afraid of right well and look and look if somebody is too small of a boat and you don't feel comfortable just say it again just be be honest and and if anybody wants to ask you about that shit you know just like telling somebody slow the fuck down i don't i'm not comfortable look you kind of have a thing. You can be the responsible one. You know, you can play that responsible card if you need to. The challenge is it's really hard because you don't want to miss shit, especially when you're new. For around us up here, everybody has fucking motorcycles. Everybody has fucking motorcycles. To be a fucking be a fucking swinger i swear to god you need motorcycles we felt a little left out oh fuck when we first got into the lifestyle we made fun of it on our profile because people have pictures of the the women we couldn't see their faces and their tits out on their motorcycle and it's like look unless you know and they'd say say hi to us well unless you bring your motorcycle and your tits are out we're not gonna know who the fuck you are so it's still on that profile but there's this thing where there's a time of you have to and people kept saying no you can just come out with cars well i didn't we didn't feel comfortable because it's like well yeah oh yeah there's everybody going person coming out in the car in the car here we come you know but eventually you get over and you go well you know what okay and then you find out it's really not that big a deal it's it's not that big deal and you know what cars have ac just just you know just throwing that out there a little bit but if anybody wants to take me for a ride on the back i'll i'll go no hesitation yes yes you will and and you know and people go why don't you get get a bike well we talked about it it just i don't know i want a jeep instead of a bike it's just one of those things we'll get one something but you just have to learn you just have to learn to to be that way now for people throwing parties i you know i'd never thought about that with being afraid of the water with like parties and shit like that keep it in mind a little bit keep it i think the biggest thing is is you know keep it fucking in mind when you have new people like on your boat or on whatever uh that that gauge people's reaction a little bit you know if you see somebody being fucking terrified or something like that slow down you know still still be halfway smart just as coach and and hey here's another little side note i did some looking remember on a boat a lot of the same rules apply that are on a road on the road so like drinking and boating and shit like that no blowjobs uh well no i don't i'm every leg's different but just keep it just keep it in mind a little bit just because you're on the water they they have these boats they have lights and sirens on them and those are like coast guard and and rangers so and they can give you tickets so you might just want to fucking just fyi keep that in mind a little bit yeah i don't know the thing is is parties what's cool about the summer well what's cool about different parts of countries they have different type of parties for one so that's badass and i encourage people to try different things and and you know we've been out we've been out partying with people on a boat that's badass we're out partying with people on bike rides and shit that's badass hotel parties that's badass there's awesome parts of all so make sure you try shit a little bit because you'll be glad you did you know but whatever so jasmine you're not drowning and here's the deal you know what no one will fucking say a single word to you if you suck dick good enough no one will say a single word oh that's just kidding that's horrible that's that's over you're wrong am i too close to you am i driving you nuts no well we're touching a lot it's it single word. Oh, that's horrible. I'm just kidding. That's horrible. That's over. You're wrong.
Speaker2: Am I too close to you? Am I driving you nuts?
Speaker1: No, well, we're touching a lot. It's okay. Well, I'm just saying. There's usually more space.
Speaker2: We've touched a lot for the past 28 years.
Speaker1: Well, I know we do, but usually we're naked, not on camera. And a key over that is usually. You get my fucking Facebook account thrown in jail again. That's only hesitation. If we're for doing that I will fucking slap you
Speaker3: silly
Speaker1: that's why people have to sign up on YouTube then they can see our other special video there's shit coming just saying you're like fucking on a boat don't you
Speaker2: have I fucked on a boat, don't you? Have I fucked on a boat?
Speaker1: What am I, the keeper of your fuck records? No, I've fucked underneath one.
Speaker4: All the time in high school, living out there, you never fucked on a boat?
Speaker2: Uh-uh. What the fuck? I only went on the water like a handful of times. Oh, okay. I guess that'd be like me saying. Kids would have to borrow their parents' boat. Yeah, and then their parents want to be there. That's awkward as fuck. Mom, Dad, I'm going to go fuck Amanda. Okay. On the beach, that's overrated. Oh, yeah, fuck that. It's a sandy mess. Because you don't come prepared to bring towels and shit. So all you have are your clothes that you can toss on the ground to help keep all the sand out. Now we're making pearls. Ew. That was not very... I guess that would be... I guess that's wrong for me to assume that. That'd be like you assuming that I've had sex on a tractor. And that guy... I would sew the fuck on a tractor. And that guy ended up with testicular cancer. Oh, what did you, a fucking carrier? I don't know. But that was like when I was 19. Oh, my God. I just remember doing it. I don't remember if it felt good or anything else. Well, it had to feel like sandpaper. I don't remember.
Speaker1: How do you know it sucked?
Speaker2: I don't know. I remember the... It was more like a platform sail thing, the stand-up sail thing, so it had the two little floaties on the side, so it was underneath that. I know. It was kind of weird.
Speaker1: I'm thinking about the smell along the coast. They're it's the U-shape, so we were like in the middle. That's so hot. You know how douche commercials say it like ocean breeze? Yeah. It's not the same type of ocean. Their ocean breeze and my ocean breeze are two totally different fucking types of ocean breeze
Speaker2: oh good grief
Speaker1: just saying
Speaker2: your cooter smells like
Speaker1: smells like seaweed even flipper ain't gonna come save you
Speaker2: you know you're just kind of clueless my phone is going nuts
Speaker1: I know as well because you're popular as fuck Thank you. Even Flipper ain't going to come save you You know you're just kind of clueless My phone is going nuts I know as well because you're popular as fuck That's why this happened I should feel my watch is like Your wrist is blurring you Stroke more stroke more That's what happens when you post a picture No shit Where are we at on time what are we doing Where are we even at We've got a clock coming 23 minutes But it's not here yet And so it just It comes this week I know And I am so fucking I hope we all come this week We're all gonna come on time It's supposed to come later this week That will be awesome Then I'll know where we're at And what's going on I know Because she was tired of fucking cool bitch well thank god this was the last show i'm glad to be able to be one more one more round of bitching about my lack of of time and time man not time management i manage my time well what you do i manage my time wonderfully look at all the shit we accomplish on the show each week.
Speaker3: And all the shit I accomplish between shows. I was going to say, is it just the show or are we talking about life in general?
Speaker1: Life in general. I accomplish a ton of shit all the time. Look at the shit that we've accomplished this week so far.
Speaker2: We've accomplished shit.
Speaker1: Well, we can't count this week because this is Monday, so this is like the new week, but it still ties into last week because you haven't went back to work. Fucking slacker.
Speaker2: Hey, I actually get to claim 40 hours this week. I'm so fucking excited. I'd like to have a normal paycheck for once.
Speaker1: Imagine that. You could just stay home with me.
Speaker2: I would like to. Oh, God. We'd be beating other senselessly we'll be snippy to each other um a little bit till we both learn our place like you know a couple weeks ago i was just like oh my god i gotta get away but then you remember that i am the greatest husband in the world then he feels like he's having a heart attack and then you know yeah i got weeks worth of fucking sympathy going now for that motherfucker that's awesome oh wait till you get dinner no shit hey great news i'm now gonna eat like a rabbit forever here's this chicken and here's some bland green beans no bread for you No cupcake for you fatty And a salad Yeah, that's right
Speaker3: So here's the thing, you know Here's some bland green beans. Oh, God. No bread for you. No cupcake for you, fatty. And a salad.
Speaker1: Yeah, yeah, that's right. So here's the thing. You know, it's going to be the new Casbah challenge that we're going to get healthy. Well, I mean, fuck, if I can quit smoking, you know.
Speaker2: We've done it once. We'll do it again.
Speaker1: Yeah, well, yeah, and I didn't quit smoking then.
Speaker2: Then you start shaking your ass like I am.
Speaker1: Oh, Lord. Hey, it's an exercise program. I'm not trying to cause me to have a heart attack. Look, when I have a reason to shake my ass, I'll start shaking my ass. Let's just let the fat ooze off me first, and then we'll go from there. I just keep reminding myself that I quit smoking, which we're coming up on four months of being smoke-free. So i can do that uh then this whole if i can just no you know not eating when i'm much of a desire do you have to what smoke or eat because right now i could eat like i'm hungry as fuck today uh not much here's the deal this is what i'm excited to get the whole non-smoking thing, not being a smoker and be, get back to having events in the lifestyle because a huge part of when you're a smoker is you're going out to fucking smoke, right? Which is great because you're, there's other smokers there, so you're talking with them. So that, that's a social thing. But I also, I have no doubt that there's probably been some people that i might have had a chance with if i wasn't a smoker because some people you know i mean smoke and booze and whatever so now i'll just smell like booze so that'll be better the next one will be a drunk i know shit but i mean that part will be that part will be exciting now that's also going to be a challenge for me it look it's very easy or easier to not smoke when i work out of the house and yeah i still have been around people smoking it's not been a big deal but i haven't been out in a party setting yet that's going to be a little more of a challenge because that was a look it's kind of a safety blanket as much as you know because an easy way to start any conversation with somebody smokers can talk to anybody because when you go out to smoke it's like being an elevator with somebody you go out to smoke and there's somebody else standing there and you just automatically start you know shooting shit you start talking so like if there's a hot chick out there, it's pretty easy for a hot gal to start talking to her because you're both having a cigarette. Damn, it's cold. Need a light. Whatever. You know, you suck on that beautifully. You want to suck my dick. Whatever the case may be, but you can you can. It's an automatic communicator. Only you. Well, and here's the other part of it that's also badass is when you meet somebody and they're a smoker, it's an easy thing to excuse to I don't know. part of it that's also badass is when you meet somebody and they're a smoker it's a easy thing to excuse to to go with them to go you know to go oh hey well i'm gonna have a cigarette you want to come along so it's it's this like alone like i'm kind of like an alone time basically is what it amounts to right you know and and there's been many uh uh a fuck that has started with the cigarette because well i mean because that you've walked out on more than one occasion to find me making out yes and i've walked out on more than one occasion to find you making out you want to go out to have a cigarette with a guy and the cigarette takes longer than the seven the appropriated seven minutes you go out and... I remember doing that once. Did I do it more than once? Yeah. Okay. Yes, one time was the only time you ever have done that. Usually I'm going out with you. No, not... We are, but there's also times that we have used that. I've also walked out... You went out to have a cigarette with a guy, and we're out sucking his dick, so... I wasn't going out to have a cigarette with a guy. Yeah're out sucking his dick so i wasn't going out to have a cigarette with a guy yeah you were you yes yes wait a minute who are we talking about yes you were you did it at the that the one time you did it at at the uh the bar we used to go to all the time and uh not that not sneaky not sneaky beats not the dive bar you've done it camp outs. Which is fine. I mean, you know, you've walked out in front of me, damn near fucking a girl because we went out to have a cigarette and it took longer than the allotted seven minutes. Who says there's an allotted time? That's what they say, the average time for a cigarette is seven minutes. So that's why when people go, that they can have two cigarettes on a smoke break on a 15-minute break in that supposedly supposed to take seven minutes it takes seven minutes off your life it takes seven minutes to smoke a cigarette unless you're making out of getting a blowjob or fucking somebody it so that part's going to be a challenge i mean because that was that's a there's a safety blanket there but here thing. Smoking is, I have always used smoking as a great way to excuse myself from a situation. That is true. You know, like if I have somebody just like ear raping me, you know, especially if they're not, if they're a smoker, it doesn't work because then they just continue to ear rape you all the way outside to have a cigarette and they're just like, nom, jabber. And you're just like, and then you want to light them on fire. But if it's somebody that doesn't smoke, you can use that as a way to fucking escape. Because then by the time you come back in, because I would have two or three cigarettes, whatever I needed, because usually I'd get grabbed and talk to somebody out there who was either ear raping me or wanted to talk to me, whatever. But by the time you come in they're jabbering at somebody else so you're you're all good at that point in time so now i don't have that now i don't know how this will be if there'll be cigars in my future or not i haven't figured that out yet to occasionally have a cigar i don't my concern with it is i don't want to have one and have it rekindle my thing because I don't want to start smoking again. It's stupid and at this point in time, I don't want to do it. So, but that's going to be a challenge for me that I'm going to actually have to turn to somebody and go, quit fucking jabbering in my ear. I mean, I'm just going to, I'm going to have to say it.
Speaker2: Or I'll keep you company. No, because a lot of times I throw you to the birds and jabbering at me for safety. We've both done that before and you know it. We have both thrown the other one directly to the wolves. Yes. And so that one of us could escape. And then as we walk away, we giggle and roll our eyes. And the other one goes, motherfucker, you did it to maybe yes it is halftime all right oh hey imagine that okay so real quick halftime it's like two minutes past that's okay you know i wasn't gonna interrupt you look at our loving relationship uh so uh don't forget to check out go to our website www.crazycas.com. You can find all kinds of cool stuff on there. We have all of our crazy Casma merch. We have a crazy truth merch. We've got new stuff getting ready to come up that you're going to want to check out and see. Uh, don't forget also, uh, you know what? Uh, Hey, here's the deal. It's tis the season. It's, you know, we all know we got the masks. So, uh, here's the deal. Would you like a crazy CasBA mask? You can now get those. That's right. It's just a finger. It's a big fuck you to the virus. So feel free. You can get those on there as well. Also, again, don't forget to seriously subscribe to our YouTube channel, www.youtube.com backslash CASBA. We've got all kinds of cool stuff, and there's going to be some new stuff coming out we really want people to be a part of it it's obviously free subscribe to it you can see our lives our videos that we do like this our podcast you can listen to it and see us at the same time you can see me go poke for those of you just listening i was just poking her boob for those of you subscribe to youtube they're just listening you can go on thursday when it releases and go hey there's he's poking her boob see how that works so make sure you're a part of all that and the magic that is do you actually talk during these things how does that work it's your halftime thing i keep my mouth shut all right so here's one other time i keep my mouth shut here is one other thing i'm going to give you. We're going to titillate with this coming out so people know. Get ready. You're going to want to know because there's something new coming soon. If you thought I was opinionated during this show, you ain't seen nothing yet. Casbo Rants is the new podcast that's going to be starting in June. And this is going to be Casbo Rants is going to be i'm going to have no adult supervision it is just me miss amanda is not there where i'm going to give you my opinions and we're going to talk everything about swingers sex whatever the fuck i feel like uh but you're going to want to check it out it's going to be funny we'll see how many times how many we'll see how many lawsuits we can get from that show uh so make sure you check that out be watching follow us on twitter you'll find out more about that as well at truth crazy you talk a lot do you ever feel winded out of breath just like oh i think i'm lightheaded oh my gosh do you even
Speaker1: get a chance to get some oxygen in no nope i just keep just blowing out his way i go Thank you. Just like, ooh, I think I'm lightheaded. Whoa. My gosh. Do you even get a chance to get some oxygen in? No. Nope. I just keep just blowing out as way I go. That's what I do. Hey, it is what it is. It's all right. It's okay. It's really neat. Trust me. It's okay. Now we're going to go to pillow talk. No. The new format. No. We should do a format change. I think people would love when we started doing like this. Welcome to crazy truth. I can't do that. That sucks. All right. So. Moving along. Oh, my God. You need a hobby. I do. Like, when the fuck am I going to have time for a fucking hobby? I don't know. Seriously. I've got guns. When was the last time I went and shot those? Well, everything's been closed. Well, it doesn't mean I don't have a backyard. That's illegal. Only if you get caught. Only if you get caught. Illegal is safe. We live in a neighborhood that no one will ever even tell the neighbors. Yeah, probably. How are they going to figure out it's our house specifically that the gunshots are coming from? They probably wouldn't. This is an interesting neighborhood. Yeah. Okay. Hear guns all the time. Well, yes. And when I used to smoke, I needed to carry my gun about half the time because we also have wildlife all over the fucking place. Not domesticating it was awesome any who oh my lord it's hot in here today you're supposed to talk when they can't see you on the on the rest of the radio you're just sitting there nodding your head yep i agree with him i got nothing um okay. Yeah. All right. So, questions are kind of weak.
Speaker2: Not tripping your trigger anyway?
Speaker1: No, they weren't weak. Well, I mean, there's lots of, look, here's the deal. There's lots of party questions. And I think the big thing right now is you can tell from all the questions we're getting. Everybody's in the same boat. Everybody's getting a little stir-crazy.
Speaker3: I mean, everybody's fucking ready to to i'm pretty sure some have well yes some have but i mean most people are ready to get out and fucking you know do shit there's going to be a shortage of razor blades that's going to be the next thing there's going to be a mass shortage of a whole lot of people got a whole lot of shaving to do to get ready for the open dates at this point in time there's pits and legs oh bullshit because they've been shaving them anyway as everybody some women say they don't shave as much during the winter so wouldn't this be the same thing guys need up, shave up, clean up, looking sharp. Most of them had to go to shaving because their salon was closed for waxing. Okay, so there'll be a shortage of waxing next, and that'll be the next, and there'll be a shortage of, we hope. I can't wax. Well, I'm just saying. So the thing is, yeah, that's going to be the... I think people... You could even tell from the questions that we got.
Speaker1: People were just, all week long, you know, things are going to be open and how big are parties and will there be parties and it's a lot of questions about what will be there. Will there be big parties or how soon or should you go to parties? I don't know. You know, all the questions with parties and everything else, you to use your judgment you got to be smart with it uh there's a lot of shit going on and there's a lot of stuff going on it's exciting there's some things that are getting ready to open back up yeah there's going to be some big events coming up maybe a lot of things are still up in the air uh i guess the biggest thing is is if it's if it's stuff that look if somebody is putting on an event okay and it fits within the state parameters or whatever whatever you're doing we're not here to judge we're just saying the way it is uh do as that will but if you're gonna go give people a heads up that's a huge thing right now because this is a really stressful time for party planners and event planners uh because you know we all want to put on events and for those that put on big events we're all kind of like we're in the same boat you don't you don't know you just don't know who is going to be able to come how many people are going to have vacation time left or are going to be able or want to travel and attend stuff and you just you really don't know so you know uh the big thing i would say is is support your support your club support your groups that do it support your party planners you know you're going to go go and if for some reason if a party planner cancels an event and you were signed up to go and if there's any way that you can you know carry that over to you know if they're going to use that hey you can either get a refund or use that ticket for the the next event coming up if you can use it for the next event because this is a this is a real motherfucker right now to try to plan events and i know everybody wants to go and excited but as a party planner you have to be fucking smart right now you can't you know you have to worry about people's safety because remember it's not when you're putting on the event it's not just about getting fucking laid it's about making sure that people are getting laid but they're being safe so it's it's a real motherfucker right now and that that's the biggest thing i think more people need to understand it's like you try to support try to try to be understanding with those those of us in the lifestyle right now because holy shit you, you know, we're all in the exact same boat. You know, we live in the very center of the country. So, you know, we're in Nebraska. So the main, yeah, right there, pumpkin? Jesus, fuck. So, you know, we just took a question from Missouri. Their rules are totally different than South Dakota, than Colorado's, than Iowa's. So to put on a big event, it's even a mid-size event. We're trying to figure out multiple states and what's allowed and what's not. So fucking do that as best you can. I did get one funny comment that came in so it's not really a question but it's just kind of it's just kind of a comment that came in no i can't this one this one came from dave dave's not here man uh this one came from do you even know who that's from?
Speaker3: Oh, fuck.
Speaker1: Yeah, it's like Cheech and Chong. There you go, good girl. Woo-hoo! Sure, you just saved yourself from having to watch a Cheech and Chong movie tonight.
Speaker2: Like, I wouldn't anyway.
Speaker1: Well, I know you would, but I mean, it's like you wouldn't be able to work on your other show. Sorry, you can't watch the other show. You watch it, too, so you'd have to miss out. Yeah, I know. Like, I can't watch the other show you watch it too so you'd have to miss out like I can't watch a movie anyway so Dave said that he wanted us to put a reminder out on the show Dave's out of Texas he's out of Austin, Texas he goes remember it's warm and sunny out that means you're starting to sweat in all the special places personal hygiene make it a priority so what very true you had a hair on your chin so thanks dave for giving that public service announcement yeah remember you'll start to stink if you're out in the sun all day so we have all been locked up. So I get it. So this may be new to some people again. You haven't had to wear deodorant. You haven't necessarily had to have clean clothes or clean underwear or take a bath. Look, I'm guilty of going, yeah, I'll take a shower tomorrow. We've all been through this little phase. But remember, we're about to be back out in the public. In all technicality, we've been kind of locked up all winter because no one wants to go outside in the freezing ass cold not everybody lives in the fucking place with winter yeah some people actually have warm year round remember you used to be from a place like that i still bitch about being cold but i think that is a wonderful public service announcement remember it's not just spending it's 20 seconds for your hands okay this this is really fucking important actually it's 20 you spend at least 20 seconds washing your hands right you can do the birthday song washing your hands right birthday okay i know what that is okay believe it or not. Invest longer in parts that smell. So spend more than 20 seconds to hit, you know, pit's ass cooter dick, whatever. Spend a little, spend, invest that time. Go a little above and beyond. I was more impressed with how fast you said that. You know, go ahead. Sing the Rubber Ducky song while you're doing both bits. You know, just...
Speaker2: Rubber Ducky.
Speaker1: See, there you go. And, you know, whatever, but you'll be glad you did. So don't hesitate, you know, to give the old butthole an extra scrubberoo before you head out the door you know lift up your nut sack and underneath there because nobody likes a smelly taint you know polish your clit but make it shine and make it make it just i'm just saying and and go ahead and and use the deodorant before you go out go ahead and just fucking blast away there's no shortage of deodorant this is actually a public service that we have to have every year but there's no there's no shortage so you know brush your teeth polish up you of all people are not going to say anything about this i'm just you are the queen of like making sure that you never have like sweaty cooter and i try and all that stuff and so yeah so one of the things that we're doing because we're we're gonna be
Speaker3: Thank you. that you never have like sweaty cooter and I try and all that stuff. And so,
Speaker1: so one of the things that we're doing, because we're, we're going to do some new short videos. So this is it like a precursor. We need a sound effect there. It's wonderful. We'll be presenting our special travel kit, our summertime travel kit. Oh, I forgot all about that. That'll have all the things in it that everything you need to know. So, you know, like no matter what, like the bare minimum that you grab to go to an event or a party or an activity. Just if there's a chance, just just say it. Okay. Wow. What? Nothing. I mean, nothing. You're just like, you are are totally just being quiet Eh Well you know I wasn't earlier No you weren't Oh my god Do you need a what what i don't know aren't you excited for what are you looking forward to the most of when when you break free of the constraints of this silliness that has us all tagged up in the houses to be able to go hang out with friends again yeah here's how sad we are we were looking at facebook memories and and one came up from like five years ago i'm like oh we must have went and got fucked that night because it was like yeah it was your post so we got home at like 4 30 in the morning time to go to bed at least we made it home before the sunrise i'm like well damn what were we doing where were we at five years ago that must have been fun because it was a hell of a and it was we weren't we had fucked that night okay yeah i wouldn't know who but it's my shirt slut see how that works out weird i know isn't it are you sure you don't know who how many partners have you had oh shut up come on that's funny you know it someone asked me that and i'm like did you make up a number were you like 12 i'm like eight were you supposed to keep count well everybody keeps count no those would be notches no no that's on a bed post i just keep track for my own personal numbers Oh bullshit What? I don't not We can't track But up until It got married Well yeah It was easier No I don't keep track I mean I try to I work to try To remember people's names And stuff Well they were Enjoyable events And you don't want To just blow off Enjoyable Blow off Enjoy events of your life. I just touched my nose. See, I'm getting old. And as you get old, your memory starts fading a little bit. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah. And you don't remember what the hell you even ate for breakfast, let alone... Whose dick that was that was in your mouth? There was a cock in my mouth and i don't even i'll be damned i just woke
Speaker2: up and there it was oh you mean i started doing that oh no what are you hot shut up my god never
Speaker1: mind shut up this weekend has got to end oh my lord four days is a little we're dealing well with the empty nesting and being together
Speaker3: and spending
Speaker1: no
Speaker2: I
Speaker3: I
Speaker1: We'll be right back. has got to end oh my lord four days is a little we're dealing well with empty nesting and and being together and spending no when i i thoroughly enjoy working with you wow that was delayed as fuck as long as we have a separate way i thoroughly enjoy uh-huh That is really kind of, no, it is a challenge, because we do work together a lot, on a lot of stuff, so it is kind of a challenge, I mean, we like each other, and, you know, it's good that we fuck each other, and stuff like that, but, yeah, there's times, there's moments.
Speaker2: Yeah, there's moments I just want to smack you upside down.
Speaker1: Oh, my God. Willie, I'm not that bad, okay? Just so we all know how to... Well, I am. I mean, I kind of... That guy suck a little bit, but... I'm still pretty damn cool.
Speaker2: I'm picking on you. I'm still married to you.
Speaker3: No, I'm kidding.
Speaker1: You know what? I don't even want to do this anymore. Fuck this whole thing.
Speaker3: Wow. That'd be funny if all of a sudden you had to start doing the show yourself. I'd be game for that. It'd be good. Why would you be game for that? I'd love to hear you do a whole show yourself. Oh, my God. I can't talk as much as you. Yeah, you could. Oh, bullshit. That's a fucking lie. I'll hide the microphone, and you'll just jab her away. Yeah, you could. You can talk to me. Yeah, you could. Oh, bullshit. That's a fucking lie. I'll hide the microphone, or you'll just jab her away. Yeah, you could. You can talk to her.
Speaker1: Yeah.
Speaker4: I think you should have to do a show by yourself.
Speaker1: One time. I think you should do the crazy truth.
Speaker3: It'll be whatever.
Speaker1: You can pick the questions. You can the whole nine yards. And I'll just run the video equipment. I'll just sit back Stay back out of the way And let you do your thing Should we plan for that in June?
Speaker3: No
Speaker1: Oh come on How are you going to do the naked one When we start doing naked shows?
Speaker2: Okay the June 12th one Maybe I'll do
Speaker1: Oh shit That's the one you'll be drunk on Okay perfect Actually yeah you can do that one We'll let you do a special birthday episode Just you Thank you. It'll be all you. We'll get you just fucking train wreck drunk, and I'll hand you a pile of questions. You can sort through the questions. Is it the 12th of Sunday? Or is it the 13th of Sunday? Oh, we don't have a phone to look at. All I know, what's most important is, is I know that your birthday is the 13th. And that's all that matters, kids, is that I remember that date. Everything else is neither here nor there. We're being all techie and stuff.
Speaker2: No, it doesn't have a calendar.
Speaker3: It used to.
Speaker2: I actually think I got rid of the calendar because it was annoying.
Speaker1: How is it? Never mind. Because it was just a little ditty dots and you couldn't read it. Then you have to go like this. My arms aren't long enough. I got short arms because I'm short. My readers aren't strong enough. My readers aren't strong enough and my arms aren't long enough. I'm so fucked. This is incredible. I'm old. I'm short. I got dinosaur arms and i just go i want to duly note that you said those things i didn't say a single one of those motherfuckers what do you think i came up with them at your arms i thought you used to do that all the time shut up that was when we were younger and i was dumb and didn't realize that that could get me in serious trouble. Yeah. Weird how that works out. Like a couple of years ago? Yes. Yes, exactly. Now I'm a little more appreciative as I've gotten older and I've matured. I'm a renaissance man. I'm matured. I have slightly gray. I'm putting this out there for people with daddy issues. What did you smoke beforehand? Daddy issues. Chicks dig this shit. I don't want to sound like a fucking train wreck. If you have daddy issues and I am a train wreck, how is that going to work out to anybody's advantage? It's fucking not. I don't have daddy issues. I know you don't have daddy issues. You're also not 20, remember? I mean, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I know, I'm not. You didn't have daddy issues back then either. No. Because I didn't even understand the value of daddy issues until I got way older. It wasn't until we started swimming. I'm like, well, I'll be goddamn. That was pretty fucking awesome shit. I'm just saying. Yeah, I don't know i don't know god you've got like five-ish minutes yeah all right well guess what the show's gonna be shorter uh i'm gonna end up getting in trouble with my daddy issue comment so i wanted to save that for that do you think so again don't forget so you just wish i had daddy issues no because you would need somebody that mean you need to be fucking somebody like 70. not that that's a bad thing and not that it couldn't be done no and hopefully if they you know we can tie it in with a sugar daddy at the same time that'd be awesome i suppose i got a sissy something with me i think he's 60 60 something. Maybe he's not quite 60. Well, and that's not a rib. It's just, I'm just saying, you know, 70. You could probably do it. Eh, probably could. I don't know. If you're 70 and you'd like to hook up with Miss Amanda and you're loaded, feel free to let us know. No, I'm kidding. But she doesn't have daddy issues, but she probably fake it if you if you can fuck good enough she can fake daddy issues just saying uh okay so let's give another shout again once again to our good friends over at nomorewetspots.com again check them out their quality product uh different sizes on the blankets uh so easy to carry and travel with and they also have other products as well go to their website nomorewetspot.com I don't forget you can visit them on our website also. And a reminder, check out and subscribe to our YouTube channel, www.youtube.com. backslash kazbah k-a-s-b-h follow us at twitter which would be at truth crazy uh and you can send us an email at crazy k-r-a-z-y dot kazbah k-a-s-b-h at gmail.com i'm trying to think what other Oh, and go to our own website.
Speaker3: Totally forgot we even had that. Perfect. I'm trying to think what other oh and go to our own, again, we're going to wrap it up for now.
Speaker4: Doing it the only way I know how.
Speaker3: The only way I ever fucking will. And the only way I ever want to, and we'll see you all next week. Kazma Style, out. Bye.