Kasbh Public Service Announcement- Make a Stand

Transcript

Speaker1: hey everybody welcome back you crazy motherfuckers uh tonight we are doing something a little bit special different this is a public service announcement from me your host with most cole uh as you can see i've got the md headset here this one is just me doing this special episode tonight to talk about something that is uh really really important it's important in. It's important, obviously, in the world around us that's going on right now. And obviously, we all know when we go to a party, there's certain rules that always apply at every party. The rules are real simple. No means no. And we know this. And it seems like it shouldn't even have to be said, something that needs to be talked about. But obviously with all the different things that have been going on recently in the world with things like the Me Too movement and the different things that we have seen, this is a real hot topic. and this is a topic that something i feel really really strongly about and felt like it was really important as the owner of the crazy Casbah page and as the host of Crazy Truth and as someone that puts on parties as well to talk about and just be real upfront and honest and kind of lay out the way things are supposed to be in this lifestyle. A little bit of background, not background, but just a little bit to kind of set this up. Here's the deal. This is not a commentary about the rest of the world. I don't give two fucks about the rest of the world. My number one goal has always been, and our goal with Crazy Casbah and everything we do has been about how to make the lifestyle better and how to make the lifestyle the way it's supposed to be. And the number one top priority when you're talking about improving the lifestyle is making sure that people are having a good time, but making sure that it's happening in a way where people are safe. Okay. And that's a key phrase, making sure people are safe. So we all know there's huge misconceptions. When you get new people in the lifestyle, what happens all the time? We talk about it continuously. Hey, they're new in the lifestyle. They don't really know the rules. They don't really understand. They see Ms. Amanda and I playing with somebody or talking with somebody that we've known a long time. They see us touching their butt or they see me touch a girl's butt. and they automatically make this assumption that then it's okay for them to do the exact same thing and we all know that's not okay that's wrong but what I want to talk about is what do we do to stop it what do we do why do we give a fuck okay it's innocent right a mistake, blah. It's all the same bullshit that we hear all the time. Well, my thought on this is no, it's not okay. And it's not a mistake. And it's not something that is should be acceptable in any way, shape or form in the lifestyle. Just because what we do, our hobby, all right, what we do for fun is we have sex with other people does not mean or take to a point where the other people are nothing more than just a piece of meat, right? Guess what? Everybody is somebody's wife, somebody's girlfriend, somebody's significant other. And the respect factor is still a huge part of the lifestyle. And it's still something that has to be taken care of. And we each and every one of us have a huge responsibility to make sure that we're helping to do this and make this happen. And that's what I want to talk about. OK, so let's first talk, start off talking about a little bit. If you're at a party and you see somebody doing something that's inappropriate. Okay. Here's the deal. You have a responsibility. If you see a guy or a girl, okay, I want to make this perfectly clear. This goes both ways, both sexes. If you see somebody that is overly aggressive in terms of not just fucking annoying, annoying is easy to deal with. But if you see somebody that is physically overaggressive, handsy, touching, grabbing, slapping asses, doing things without people's consent, and you see people trying to walk away or trying to get away from them or rolling their eyes or something along those lines, and this person's a new person, you have one or two options in my opinion. And here, let me preface all this. This is so feel free to send fucking hate mail to me I don't give a shit all right but it's something it is what it is you have a responsibility to do one or two things number one you can either go and find the host of the party and say hey this fucking dude or this fucking chick is being completely out of line and inappropriate and it needs to stop or Or option B is you can walk up to the person, pull them aside and politely and professionally say, that's not okay. Don't do it anymore. And if they continue to do it, you need to get the host involved and you need to make that person needs to leave. They need to leave the party. They need to be told to get out of the party. Okay. Usually usually if it's somebody if maybe they've had too much to drink you know a simple warning or the the host come up and say hey that's enough knock it off your gun we'll usually stop it but some people are kind of fucking thick-headed and some people quite honestly just don't give a shit and the thing is is when people in our our quest to avoid drama whatever he wants is, well, I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to cause a scene. Here's the deal. Every time someone doesn't stop that kind of bullshit, what you're in essence doing is you're saying, you're condoning it. You're saying it's okay. Well, it wasn't my wife. It wasn't my girlfriend. It wasn't me this time. So I'm not going to worry about it. But the reality of it is if it's not this time, it will be the next time or one of the other time. The lifestyle has no place for assholes that are going to be aggressive and not take no for an answer. Now, if you go to the host of the party and say hey this is going on and the host doesn't do a fucking thing about it step one you need to leave the party you don't want to be there step two don't ever go back to another one of their fucking parties okay because as a host if you're not going to take the the security of your guests the utmost importance, then that's not a party you want to be at. That's not a safe place you want to be, okay? If a host thinks it's funny or a host thinks it's too afraid to do something about it, guess what? They're not going to be there to protect you if anything else happens, okay? And the reality of it is in the lifestyle, no difference in real life, unwanted touching is just one of the things that can and does happen. People do get too drunk and get raped at parties. People do get too drunk and get molested at parties. People do get too drunk and have things done to them that they don't want to have done. And the reality of it is we have a responsibility to step up to the plate and make that stop. Okay. So obviously first as an individual, as a guy or a gal, you have a responsibility to kind of keep yourself in check a little bit. Okay. You need to know, you need to remember that, Hey, it's not okay just to take and go up and touch somebody. If you don't know somebody, you do not have the right. I don't care what they're dressed as. I don't care how their outfit is. You do not have the right to touch their ass. You don't have the right. You have the right to walk them and say hi and talk to them, but you don't have the right to physically touch them in any way, shape, or form don't have the right to fucking pull on their clothes touch their nipples slap their ass all the shit we've all seen you may see somebody else do it but you don't know what their relationship is with them okay but you don't have that right you have to ask and if you're told no it's not no and then you keep trying, or you keep trying to sell them, no means no, one time. That's it. Never an exception. Guys or girls. And I want to hit this big, because it's not just a guy problem, okay? Women, you know what? You do not have the right just to walk up to a guy because, well, every guy wants a girl to touch him to grab their fucking dick. It doesn't work that way, okay? You need to follow the simple rules. Keep your fucking hands to yourself. Look with your eyes. We were all taught this as a kid. Look with your fucking eyes, not your hands, right? Guys, if a girl is not stopping, report it. Tell somebody, okay? Don't just let it slide. Don't be embarrassed to tell somebody because here's the deal every guy has been in a situation where some chick is really drunk and just grabbing their junk if a woman walked up and just randomly punched you in the balls you'd go tell somebody so it's the same fucking thing you have a responsibility you have a responsibility guys and gals to tell your significant other we hear this all the fucking time after parties two weeks pass oh by the way well jenny lou was actually i found out you know last night we're having dinner and she talked about this one guy she doesn't want to go back because he was groping her and he didn't she didn't tell me until a week and a half later you can't do that this is like a dog if a dog shits on the floor I don't know.
Speaker2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't a week and a half later. You can't do that.
Speaker1: This is like a dog. If a dog shits on the floor and is not trained that that's not correct, and you wait two weeks to train them, they're not going to remember why they don't know what they did wrong. Okay. And, and women, again, you're not preventing drama by not telling your husband right then there on the spot. we can't, as party hosts and people in the lifestyle, we cannot fix a problem if we do not know that it is happening. And this is where it takes every one of us to make a commitment and a stand to make sure that if we see this kind of shit or if this kind of shit's happening to you, that we put a stop to it immediately. Okay. And again, host part of when you're a host of a party, you need to be a coherent enough or your security staff needs to be coherent enough to make sure that you are watching for that kind of behavior to step in and stop it. If you're going to a party and I don't care if it's a house party with five other couples, no means no, or a hotel party with 800 people, no fucking means no. There's no middle ground with that. It doesn't matter the size. And as a host, you have a responsibility to make sure that happens, to make sure that people feel safe. Now, let's talk about the other thing that happens time and time and time again. It happens at every single party. And every host out there, I don't care how hard you try to prevent it from happening. And it happens at regular vanilla bars and obviously at swinger activities as well. It's the old magic roofie in the drink. This is a real problem. This is something that happens. Now, you can have all the security in the world you can have you can have people watching it it's almost impossible to stop completely where people what happens people will walk around a drink you're they see an attractive woman she sets her drink down and someone will just walk brush past it instantly there's a pill in the drink never even knew it happened never even saw it or somebody goes and gets a female they've just met a drink and hands them a drink easy to roof it roof it on spot no no worries can happen no time at all even going up to the bar and getting a beer and all of a sudden they come and bring a can of beer and it's open. That can be roofing. Okay. So does it happen at most parties? Pretty much it. You always hear stories of it happening somewhere. Okay. So how do you stop that? Because if I just said security, you can't catch everybody doing it. It's, you know, without having damn near drug stiffiffing dogs to catch. What can you do? What should you do? Okay, this is where it's each and every one of our own responsibility to be smart a little bit about some of the things that we do when we are at parties and events. Number one, you know what? If you're going to go out and drink or go, let me try again again. If you're going to dance, okay, either finish your drink or take your drink with you. Do not leave your drink unattended on a table or on the bar with the assumption that it will be okay. That's at a vanilla bar. That's at a lifestyle event. Okay, don't. Don't do that. You're just asking for the possibility of an issue. If you only drink half the drink and you come back, plan to have enough money to go buy another drink. Don't take that chance. Okay. Number two, if you don't know somebody and they want to go get you a drink, either go up with them or don't drink the drink that they brought it back. If you don't know somebody and somebody just hands you a drink, don't drink it. You have no idea. You have no idea what it is. Now, granted, here's the deal. Let's be logical. If you're in a group and four of the couples know the person really well and it's his turn to buy a round, obviously that can be a little different story. But if you've just met this person or these people for the first time, they and bring you a drink don't drink it it's common sense if you were walking down the street randomly walking on a busy street and someone you didn't know walked up and handed you a glass of pop an open glass of pop would you go oh thank you and just drink it down well fuck no you wouldn't why everybody goes well no that would be stupid it's the same fucking thing here except everybody at a swinger party what are they hoping to do they're hoping to get laid common sense if the event is a bring your own booze event which a lot of a lot of parties are this is and we're just as guilty of this as well okay we've done it you take you bring your cooler down to the to the main room and it's off in the corner and then when you need more you keep going back to your cooler and if you're like us we're not beer drinkers we drink hard alcohol so we have open bottles of booze in our cooler if you don't have somebody sitting on that cooler all the time. It very easy to open a cooler you could be roofied okay so again plan ahead either keep your your hard alcohol in your hotel room that you go back and forth your hotel room to get it keep it in a flask that you carry with you or get shooters or have a drink that has a closed lid that you have to break the seal and open yourself. This way, you know exactly what is in the drink. It's whatever the alcohol is supposed to be in a drink. There's not supposed to be anything extra. This way you have it and you know. And all of this stuff I know sounds very elementary, but I had the other day I was watching on YouTube youtube they've they've done series uh where they had a guy going to vanilla bars showing how easy it is to roofie a drink they showed this guy sitting there engaged talking to a husband and wife they just met him just said hi casual conversation the wife goes to the bathroom the husband looks away for less than a second and the guy puts a bill in her in her drink and when she comes back he goes I wouldn't drink that I just roofied that drink it took literally seconds seconds to do that now people go well I probably wouldn't be the target of that here's the thing some people will roofie drinks just because they think it's funny to watch random people's reactions. They think it'll be funny. It's kind of like, or they'll take and they'll put, instead of a roofie, they'll put like a drop of acid in it because they think it's funny to watch people's reaction. Some people will do it just because they're fishing. Who do they catch? Well, maybe they end up roofing a guy. They didn't mean to, but okay. But they're just whoever they can possibly get. Or quite possibly, maybe it is specifically one person that they're trying to target. Okay. So what do you do? What do we do as individuals? So we take the precautions. We make sure that we don't present ourselves to be an easy target. That's number one. And right along with that, besides keeping track of your drinks, look, all these rules are very easy on drink one or two when you're sober. Okay. Understanding how much you're drinking and keeping some, it's all about, I get it, cut loose, have fun, have a great time. But just remember, as you become more and more intoxicated, then obviously the ease to roofie someone or take advantage of someone goes up. So keep that in mind. Keep the somewhat form of control. We laugh and joke on the crazy truth all the time about our wild adventures. And God knows we've had some great ones. And a lot of you guys have seen and partied with us on some incredible nights of some hardcore drinking. But usually one of us is in control. So you make sure that, that you're not just, you're not setting yourself up to become a victim. Okay. So you're going to take in, you followed through, you've tried to make sure that you follow the protective rules for yourself, uh, and for your significant other. And that, that's the other thing guys and gals, if your husband's going to the bathroom hold their drink keep keep tabs of each other nowhere keep tabs of the drink not set on the table and i'm gonna watch it hold it hold it in your hands so then you know but what do you do if you see somebody what if you see somebody they're acting suspicious they're just cruising around and they're always hitting the tables over by the tables where there's nobody at there's unmanned unguarded drinks or what if you see somebody actually fucking put a roofie or it looks like they dropped something in a drink but you're not for sure what you do no ifs ands or buts no exceptions you go to the host of the party, you tell them immediately, you make sure you know that you can point that person out, no ifs, ands, or buts. It is much better to come to find out that the person was innocent than to find out the next day that somebody at that table was roofing and raped. So you go and you tell them, again here's the deal when it comes to roofing that's sexual assault if a host won't do anything about it well then you need to take appropriate steps accordingly i promise you most hosts of parties they do not want the reputation of their parties being some someplace where someone gets roofied and they're going to make sure that they do something about it but follow where that guy goes watch see where they go make sure if it's you and you're sniffing another you or another friend somebody watch the person you have suspect uh activity and the other one go get the host but know that that person they're a fucking predator the lifestyle doesn't need predators we have enough issues in the lifestyle just because we have emotions, we have sex, we have booze in general, let alone without a predator running amok. Finally, if you see someone acting totally out of the ordinary, we had an example, we're pretty sure that I got roofied several years ago when we first got in the lifestyle, we're pretty sure everybody at the party did. Everybody was there were big drinkers. Three drinks in, I couldn't even walk. I don't even remember it. Okay. So it's pretty obvious when someone is just beyond all vague forms of intoxicated. If you see somebody like that, whether it's been that they've been roofied or they're just that fucked up, okay, do the right thing. Either go find security or go find someone to help make sure that that individual gets back to the room safely, that they're not just left wandering the halls because predators look for that type of stuff. Make sure that they're okay. Make sure they don't need medical attention. Again, get to the host of the party. Get to someone to make sure that that person is okay, whether you know them or not. Look, if you see someone that just literally, they can't stand up. It's slurring their words and they're just roaming around aimlessly. You know what? They need help. and part of making the lifestyle better in the community better is you care for everybody in the community even if you don't know them because remember that person how would you feel if that was your significant other or if that was one of your good friends and no one helped them as a community we have to take a stand to lead by example. When we live in a world where the rest of the people that are non-swingers cannot keep their hands to themselves and cannot keep themselves in check, as a community, we have a responsibility to lead by example and lead the way in making sure that individuals are safe. Individuals can still have fun, that individuals are not becoming victims. This is a big thing. And it's an opportunity for each and every one of us to always do what's right and make a stand. So again, if something goes on, if you get touched inappropriately, report it. Tell somebody, tell your spouse, tell somebody. If you see it going on, tell somebody. If you're hosting a party, take it seriously. I don't care if you know the person or you think you know them or not. Take it seriously. Stick up and protect and ensure your guests have a great time and a safe time. And if you see somebody or you have someone that you have suspect or concerns about doing things like drug and drinks, talk to the organizer of the party. If the organizer of the party won't ban that person, then don't go to that party. And finally, if you're an organizer of a party, step up. I know that everybody wants to have parties that are fun and wild and crazy, and that's great, and that's awesome. We all do. That's what we want our parties to be about but don't sacrifice safety of the people that that are in our community don't sacrifice safety for fear of not having a fun enough party it's just not worth it guys this has been a public service announcement from the host with the most cole and crazy casbah and crazy tooth doing it the only way i know how and the only way i want to casbah style out