What if the Olympics were Sexual

Transcript

this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest and performers are all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of the Hot Wife Podcast's owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice.

Hi, this is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast, where we discuss all the good, the bad, and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle. Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast. And I'm here once again with my wonderful husband, Vince. Happy birthday to you. Oh, you're going to start with that already? Happy birthday, too. Oh, I hate your guts, you know, that I really do. I hate you. There's nothing to do with your birthday. Oh, oh. It's just your normal, like, sex talk. Well, today is Donna's birthday. Oh, yeah.

I was going to do the phone number call in but I don't want anybody call in to wish me a happy birthday you can give it out or I can give it out oh I'll give it out just because I don't want you to hurt my neck turning around yeah that's what it is the number to call in and joining the conversation is 484-352-2553 if you want to wish me a happy birthday or Or just say hi. Or just say hi. But I've had a very nice birthday actually today. Well, it was uneventful except for one of your fans came by and dropped off some gifts. Yes, which we're talking about in a second. Oh, okay.

It's kind of a funny, one of them. Yeah. Actually, two of them are kind of funny. Yeah, well, kind of the same but different. Yes, kind of the same but different. And then they have to back up to tell a different story to get the appreciation for that. Yes. Well, do you want to just hop right into that? Go ahead. Also, if you're listening to the show not live but pre-recorded, you can email us at hotwifepodcast at gmail.com. So if you want to email Donna and say happy birthday or whatever, you can do that too. So we'll respond, she'll respond to you. Oh, boy. But give out the phone number.

Okay. The phone number again is 484-352-2553. Join the conversation. But if you're at the website, website, hotwifepodcast.com, the phone number should be right there. Right there, right. But anyway, yes, I had a playmate come by who also listened to the podcast and, you know, checked out the videos and things like that. He dropped off a gift. A couple gifts. Yeah, a couple gifts. More than a couple, actually, but whatever, three, four, whatever, five, whatever.

There was actually that little thing of candies, which was very nice, but then there was a very sexy lingerie, a little bra, like, it's kind of like a mesh bra, and it had like a garter belt, and the garter... A little outfit. A little outfit, yeah. Yeah, it had a little thong with it. That was really cute. I'll probably wear that to the next party, I'm thinking. Okay, and then he also gave you a thong. Oh, it was a little three-pack of animal print thongs. Oh, it was a three? I saw one, okay. Yep. So that will be fun. I'll have fun with them. And he gave you the big anal fisting dildo.

Oh, yes, the largest one. You know, it was hard from the rapid. I was like, what the heck is this? Is this a boat? Is this somebody's leg? No, he didn't, but anyway. No, he didn't. That was a gift I got. Thank you. All the love and everything is just so overwhelming here. No, but he got me a very cute T-shirt and on it says trophy wife. It was like a pink one, like kind of, you know, has little like poofy arms on it and stuff. To match the shirt that I was given by somebody else, by Mickey.

Well, actually that was, there was a gray one that also said trophy wife one, which kind of matches yours. Yeah. Mickey got me a Christmas one that said trophy husband. Right. And awards at one of the last parties. Right. Two parties ago. Two parties ago. Yeah. And so now she'll have one to wear. Right. So she's the afterthought. I'm the afterthought, it's fine. It's funny that we got trophy husband and trophy wives not from each other. I guess other people looking at us like, oh, they're a trophy. It's like, yeah, you have no idea. Not even freaking close. Oh, there's participation trophies.

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Yay, we're kind of here. Yay, me. I qualify for the same thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm good with that. It's like, yeah, I'm married. That's about it. I'm good with that. So, you know, the other week we were talking about TV shows. Right. And if they were based on like swinger shows and stuff like that. And towards the end of that, we kind of migrated into like sports and other aspects of entertainment, I guess. Okay. So with that, we had to kind of talk a couple of things about like different sports that made me think about the Olympics. Oh, boy. The sex Olympics? Yeah.

Is that where we're going with this? Kind of is. Yeah. It's like what if there was Olympics that were sexual? Ha ha ha. Oh, boy. The Sex Olympics? Yeah. Is that where we're going with this? Kind of is. Yeah. It's like, what if there was Olympics that were sexual? Yeah. I mean, a whole different, obviously not kid-friendly. Not kid-friendly at all. Nope. This is not for the kids. Not going to be training for it in high school. Nope. Not even close. Maybe in college. I don't know. Yeah.

Over the age of 18, I'm fine with whatever As long as you're legal Everyone's legal and consenting But, you know So, you know Obviously, the most obvious thing In these sex Olympics Would be the gymnastics Yeah, that was my first That's the obvious You you know clothes would not be worn no or or very skimpy sometimes clothes may be fun maybe it's striptease that'd be part of it that'd be kind of a routine floor routine would be like a pole in the middle maybe and yeah spinning and stuff like that stripper slash yeah that'd be interesting the girl strad the girl straddle the parallel bar or whatever they call that thing, that big thing, might be kind of interesting.

These snail trails and that. Well, that would be, yes, that's gymnastics. I'm just thinking like the floor routines. Now, would women have interest in watching guys like do the Iron Cross with their junk hanging down and stuff? Like the male gymnasts? Hmm. Maybe if they were erect erect that'd be hard to do well now see one of the parts i didn't get into yet okay what's that is just like in the real olympics you know they test for performance enhancing oh yeah so we'd have to test for performance enhancing stuff here and by that i mean sexual enhancement stuff. Ah, let it go. Who cares? No.

We're trying to find the best natural people. We could make that a whole different Olympics with the blue pill thing. Yeah, it's true. They could go for hours. So how do we test for it? Instead of blood tests and everything else, when the guy gets erect, you have to show him a picture of Bea Arthur. If his dick doesn't go down, he's obviously on enhanced drugs. Okay. If you see Bea Arthur naked or even dressed and you don't lose your erection, sorry pal, you failed the drug test. I'm sorry, you're on enhancements. Well, maybe he finds that. then he gets kicked out for just being demented.

I'm sure she was a sweet woman. Do not get me wrong. I'm sure she was a sweet woman. Everybody has their thing, Benz. Everybody has their thing. You married me. Yeah, that's true. Wow. I mean, yes, that's true. Yeah. What an exclamation point can change in a in a sentence. So like the gymnastics, that's obviously the most easy. That's a low-hanging fruit. Yes, it is. But like things like ice skating and dancing, ice dancing. Like the couples thing. Well, yeah. How erotic would that be if all of a sudden now they're, you know, like doing things and like she could be bending over.

You could fucking put it in the back of her as they skate in circles or, you know, the triple Lindy or whatever the fuck that thing's called. Now you're going with Blades of Glory. No, that was actually back to school. Oh, back, that was. It was the dive. Sorry. Yes, it was. Well, I was a competitive skater back, way back in the day.

My sister was a pair sk skater and the things that they did like you know close to close they tore around their heads and stuff you stop man you start eating your pussy yeah yeah i mean that will impress me you could be licking this girl's pussy and she's grabbing your fucking ears riding your face while you're skating around there one you don't crash into the boards or two, your skates don't flip out from under you. Oh, yeah, that could be dangerous. But it would be erotic. Yeah. Again, there could be some clothing on there, so you could flip up a skirt, you know. Yeah, yeah.

You know, that could be interesting. It could be interesting. Dangerous, but interesting. It's sports. It is sports. There's always a risk. You know? And again, not that I want to watch it, but it could be opened up to the gay people. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think it's a whole different event, but that's different. I'm not going to talk about it. Well, then that would be more like Blades of Glory. The two guys. They weren't gay in that. No, they had.... It's a different kind of pair skating, but. Yeah. So then you have like synchronized swimming.

Yeah, like where they do their dancing and shit like that. See, that has possibilities. Yeah, no. But, you know, that could be like a little orgy in the water. A little bit. Yeah, you can like flip them up. You want to talk about people who are going to have strength.

They're going to have leg muscles, man, because you're going to lift the other person up out of the water Be sucking dick, eat pussy You know A lot more than what we're doing in our pool They could do a bridge, the guy could come up eating the girl from behind The other guy goes the other way The girls are kissing in the middle, making an arch You're so creative I'm ahead of my time This is why we don't watch the real limits Because we're watching them going You know, it's so much more interesting if they were naked Okay my time. Yeah.

This is why we don't watch the real limits because we're watching them going, you know, it would be so much more interesting if they were naked. Well, what I'm saying. Having sex. Swimming events would just be swimming naked. That's not really that interesting. Diving. Diving. Well, the women are wearing the bathing suits up their ass now anyway, which is erotic. It's kind of hot. Yeah, it's kind of hot. And everything else, but it's not erotic. It's sexy. It's sexy. Okay. Thank you. Well, the women are wearing the bathing suits up their ass now anyway, which is erotic. It's kind of hot.

Yeah, it's kind of hot. And everything else, but it's not erotic. It's sexy, but not erotic. It's sexy, okay. Well, even the runners are wearing like shorts that are basically a thong. Oh, yeah. Well, but there are different events I came up with for that. Oh, did you? Okay. Like, you know, the relay race? Yeah. You ever hand the baton off? Yeah, the having a dildo off? No, that'd be just stupid. Well, I don't. It could be running. Okay, okay. It's a wheelbarrow type race where a guy puts his dick in a girl. Okay. It could be a guy too. Hey, I'm not judging. All right.

And the woman could either be holding onto a wheel with handles. Oh, that's hard and he has to like run around the track where he's inserted in her and he runs around so far then he hands her off to the next side he has to insert and he goes so far that is olympics that if they come they're disqualified oh yeah that's right if they get limp and fall out they're disqualified they can't continue until they're hard and inserted. Wow. This is much more difficult. I'm telling you. You've added a whole level of, you know. Oh, we haven't gotten into all of my sports. Oh, you've done a bunch here.

Oh, you've done a bunch here. I mean, you've added a whole level of, you know. Depravity? Well, yeah, and the fact that it's so much more difficult to do this now. I mean, the relay race is hard anyway, but... Okay, so now you also have to look at this when you start entering other countries. Oh, boy. Okay, this is not just like a U.S. This is a worldwide Olympic event, sexual Olympics. Sexual, oh, gosh. Okay, so now, like, something like that, relay race? Mm-hmm. I'm not being prejudiced or anything else, but else, but the African countries might have the upper hand. They just might.

You know, they have a little bit more to connect with. I can see that. But then someone like the Asian countries, one, they don't have the leg span to run as fast. Two, they don't have as much to connect with, potentially. It's possible. It's Yeah Are we talking about this before with the relay races If they did them naked, the black guys would be knocking over That was the hurdles That's not very sexual That's just funny Yeah, it is funny The white guys would have the advantage in the hurdle race The black guys would be running and their schwanzas would be knocking over hurdles.

Swinging things around, knocking people out. Yeah, you know, they throw over the shoulder and knock the guy out behind them. I hate when that happens, you know, it's just. Okay, so now. Okay. So that's one of the track and field events. We'll come back to track and field. Okay, you have some more things up your sleeve. One of the most boring sports in Olympics. What do you think it is? In my opinion. Boring sports. People are going to say, oh, I love that sport. You're going to call it a sport. If I want to call it a sport. Oh, geez. I'll call it ice bowling. Call it curling. Curling.

One of the most boring sports, really. These guys don't clean up the kitchen at home, but they're brooming the shit out of ice. Okay. They don't sweep the floor at home, but they're sweeping the ice. So now, down there at the end of the, whatever they call it, because I don't know the sport because I don't watch it. Right. So you have a woman bent over. So then one guy takes a guy sitting there naked with an erection, and they slide down. And he's got to go into the hole?

And they have to try to clean the ice in front of him to get him to make it down there and just get lined up enough that he could enter that woman at the end. His ass is going to be frozen. He's going to be sitting on something. Okay. Otherwise his ass would fill up with like ice shavings. You're probably right. He'd lose an erection just from that. Yeah, I can't imagine that. Just think about it. You're sliding this guy down, and he's got to try to line his dick up. Just enter where he gets at the end. I don't know, guys.

And then I guess you could slide another guy down to bump him out of the way if he doesn't get in. I don't know. That would be kind of like a game that old people like to play? Shuffleboard? Is it shuffleboard? Yeah, shuffleboard. It's the same thing. Oh, bocce ball. Oh, bocce ball is different. It's more like shuffleboard. Like at the bars, they have this long fucking shuffleboard table. Yeah, yeah, you can knock each other out. That's basically curling without ice. On a smaller scale. It really is. Well, there's no way they're cleaning it up for you as they go along.

Yeah, you just put that fucking rubber, whatever the fuck stuff they sprinkle on that thing is. So, okay, so now the triathlon. Oh, boy, here we go. Okay, the triathlon, there's three parts. You have to have three events. Okay. So, now, I don't know enough about the sports, but do the triathlon, do all those things happen at once?

Or are they like, okay, this one happens today, this one happens tomorrow, this one happens the next happens the next day i know triathlons happen the same day all the same one after another after another yeah you run like two miles and you break your guys with the stamina yeah oh yeah it's stamina you know so yeah you're gonna have like okay you know you're gonna run a mile and then fuck this chick and then you're gonna to... Or five miles, ten miles, whatever. Oh, my God. Okay? Probably, I don't know how long it is.

And then you're going to, like, she's going to be on a bike and you're going to, like, be pumping her from behind as you ride the next ten miles. Jesus Christ. Okay. What's your sign? Hey, you want to compete in the sexual Olympics. It's hardcore. Bring your A game. And you will be tested to make sure there's no enhancement drugs. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're a ball buster. Hey, just telling you. Okay. I'm not competing in this. I like to think I'm a visionary. Yeah, that's what I'm calling you. Besides pervert, but okay. It's Mr. Pervert to you. Mr. Pervert to me, okay.

And then the third one we can come up with another time. I didn't think that one. So, okay, one of the most easy ones I thought of was rowing. So, again, you know, you're in the seats, you're going back and forth. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, a girl's in front of you, or it could be vice versa. Maybe, you know, I guess she'd have to be in front of you. Okay. And as you row, you go forward, you fuck. You go, you fuck. Oh, I was thinking the other way. Like a girl is rowing, a guy is with his dick. Well, it could be where she's blowing them. Blowing them. Either way.

And if he pops before they cross the line, it's over. It's over. Yep. You know? And if you could pop as you cross the line, you really win the gold. Oh can see that you can get the timing down just right that's takes so much practice hey i will suffer for my sport no i'm feeling that one i think you could so here's one that you might be appreciate because your one playmate can shoot pretty good oh yeah he, he does. It would be like either the high jump or the javelin. So in other words, like how far can the guy shoot his cum load or how high can he go like on a wall? Archery.

It would be like archery. Well, that's like the javelin we're tossing it. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do the – you know, you're not doing the long jump. It's kind of like just distance. You're going for distance. Yeah. It'd be the equivalent of the long jump. It'd be the equivalent of the javelin throw. Right. And you're throwing something. Oh, yeah. You're throwing something. Now, do we want to add in bonus points where you have like girls waiting to catch it in their mouth? That'd be like the egg toss. Yeah. I don't think the egg toss is made to the Olympic shit.

It's still out in committee to see if that's really an event. I'll see you next time. That would be like the egg toss I don't think the egg toss Is made to the Olympics yet It's still up in committee to see if that's really an event What was the one they were trying to get Like beer pong or something Oh really Your quarters How about the bobsled They run and they jump on Like the one lays down and the other one jumps on And fucks them from behind. Can you turn my thing now? I have to cough. Good. So they run, one lays down and the other one comes up and enters them anally. No.

You don't think that works? No, I don't think it's going to work. Why? And if they crash? All the cold is just, it doesn't help. Oh my God, you're such a killjoy. I just don't, I don't know. That doesn't sound like fun to me. No? Mm-mm. I bet you if I had Steven here. Well, that would be different. I'm sure he would come up. Okay, so you come up in the smarty pants with some Olympic sexual events. Well, the gymnastic one I thought was really good. Yeah, that's a visual, though. That's not really a competition. What do you mean it's not a visual?

I mean, wait, does she do flips across the floor and like has to land on the guy's face or cock? She could. Okay, well, that can hurt. You get that misaligned. You're breaking a guy's dick. You're breaking a guy's dick, for sure. Or his face, you know. I mean, I'm not going to pose to have my nose broken that way. No, if you're careful, it could be okay. Weightlifting. Yeah. They've got to pick up stuff with their snatch. Oh, I've seen those weights. Guys have to pick that shit up with their junk, too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, I don't know. That could be interesting.

Not sexy, but definitely interesting. Well, you could see how strong a guy's heart on is. Yeah. We've seen guys put towels on it, but we're going full tilt here, putting weights on it and stuff, see how hard that dick can be. That's for sure. I don't know, man. That sounds... I don't know. It'd certainly be a lot... I think you're missing the whole... Well, no, it would be very interesting to watch all that. It'd make it a whole lot more fun. What other kind of sports are in the Olympics that we're like... Well, okay, then the one that would definitely be gay. Okay. Roman Greco wrestling.

Yeah, well, maybe you can make it mixed wrestling. So even if you lose, you still win. Mixed wrestling. A pin to win. Pin me, pin me. Oh, I give up. Stop. Oh, force me down. Take my gold, take my gold. You're not right. You're so not right. Oh, look at this. Your testicles fell in my mouth. Oh, I hate when that happens again and again and again. Yeah, that would definitely be a gay sport, and that's fine. Yeah. I mean, if they made it a mixed sport, this is where you definitely don't want these people who identify as women competing against you. It would be obvious.

It's like, what the fuck is that hanging down? It's because you have a boob job and a six-inch penis doesn't mean you're a woman. Okay. You're bashing my idea for the Olympics. Well, I think we can probably spruce it up a little bit more with all these sports. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you can tell that we don't watch the Olympics very much because we're just... We're not sports people. Yeah, we're not sports people. I think it would be more interesting. Oh, we've always said that. The problem with the Olympics, like you've said before, is there's too many people under 18.

Oh, yeah, that's almost all under 18. So you sit there and watch these young girls, and I'm going to try to do this in a non-perverted way In gymnastics They have these incredible little bodies These tight little tuchuses But you sit there and they flip and do it And you go, holy shit And here she's 14, you go, oh fuck that Okay, now I've got to go shower Delouse What do they call it? When they whip themselves? Self flagellation? I guess. I don't know. I thought that was in your fart. I could be getting it all wrong. I want to go punish myself for being bad. It's like, oh, that was wrong.

No, no. Yeah, I think it would be sexy if they were all over 20-something. Oh, it would certainly be a lot more fun to watch. Maybe like So, letunk lube. Spunk lube. Spunk lube wrestling. What you can get at spunklube.com. It's non-sticky. It's a great lubricant. Well, instead of the lube, it should just be like a slip and slide with spunk lube on it. See, that would be kind of fun. It would be kind of like that grease pig race I did with the other lubricant. So you do that with spunk lube and you got some fun. See, now you're getting into it. See, yeah. I had to think a little bit.

It's like, ah, it's so typical. I think you just need to add something to it.

Have a race with spunk lube And maybe wrestling the spunk lube And things just slip into Wherever they slip into Sometimes that happens And we have a caller Hello Hey It is our friend logan oh hello how's it going hey don how are you good how are you doing logan not bad we just got done filming all of them's in there making some dinner she'll be out in a minute oh that's great why don't you go make dinner we'd really shut up Vince my god you're such an ass I'm gonna smack him like I've been cooked pizza So it shouldn't take long So you guys are back into shooting That's cool Yeah and you guys are talking about Sex Olympics We were listening to it While we were making our pizza here Do you agree with me That the Olympics would be a lot more interesting?

You know what? It's funny you guys are talking about that because we just tried Amazon position, and I feel like that is an Olympic sex act. The what position? Amazon. You call somebody from far away and they bring it to you? You don't know what the Amazon position is? No. No, I never read the Kama Sutra, so. Well, it's basically where the dude lays on his back, pulls his legs up to his chest as if he's the woman, and then the woman takes control, which is an Olympic act. Okay. I can imagine. See, I'm so used to doggy-style sex. You know, I roll over and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Yeah, we think that's Olympic-style. It's similar, but upside down. Okay. Wow. Wait, I think I did see that on, I checked out your Pornhub profile. There was a video, I think, of that there, wasn't there? No, no. That's the first time we ever attempted it. Yeah, but that's the style? No. No, I don't think we have a video up of that yet. Okay, there was one where, I'm assuming it was you, your legs were in the air, your pants looked like they were ripped in the crotch, and she was kind of sitting on top of you? No, no. You're definitely watching the wrong channel. Oh, okay.

It's all a bunch of naked people. You're like, I don't know. It's all good. I saw the cream pie one. I thought it looked really good. Well, that woman had a great ass, too. So I see a great ass. He watches. He just gets like... You have my attention. Yeah, he gets distracted, and that's it. Oh, yeah. We use that bottle of spunk lube you guys donated to us. It's good. You guys like it? Oh, yeah. That stuff is the best lube we ever use. Autumn's here. Hey, Autumn. You didn't overcook my pizza, did you? Still in the oven. That's not overcooked then. Yeah, that's not overcooked.

I like my pizza medium rare. There you go. Exactly. So you guys are busy having Amazon sex. Okay. If we attempt, it takes some doing. I'm going to work on my quads. He was both calm and crying at the same time. I would picture Amazon sex like having sex with like a seven-foot woman. Yeah, a big woman, yeah. Yeah, five foot two in fury, right? You will fuck me now and like it. Yes, okay yes ma'am i think that's where it means okay well i mean you know that's uh it's interesting i'll have to look into that for some reason i don't know why because because i'm not interested in doing it.

I'm interested in understanding it. How does that all work? It gives me another talking point. Some of these positions you've got to stretch forward. We talked about that before. Especially at our age. Oh my God. We need to stretch just to talk about sex. Yes. Pull a hamstring just talking about it. Before the show, we're doing calisthenics outside. Okay. We're going to talk on the air. We've got to stretch.

I don't want to pull a hamstring just talking about it Before the show we're doing calisthenics outside We're going to talk on the air We've got to stretch, I don't want to pull a hamstring I'm doing my planks Yeah, you definitely don't want to No, no No pulled muscles here It's a big macrobat Yeah, we're just Lucky we don't have to put up safety nets just to do this radio show. We have them around the bed. That helps, you know. Well, that's because they don't have safety rails on our bed, so we fall out. Still looking for that fucking call bell.

I think it's up my ass every time I sneeze, they call. Do you need anything? I'm like, what the hell are you? Just don't fart, man. I don't know what's going to happen there. It's like, yeah, I fart and they bring me a glass of water. I belch and the head of the bed goes up. It's like, what the fuck is that about? That's what you get with an adjustable bed. So people want to see your stuff. Where do they go? You gave a sword.

that's what you get with an adjustable bed so people want to see your stuff where do they go you gave it to her it's the same address yeah same one same one and that was sexy autumn milfautumn.com milfautumn.com I have to refresh our memories here so many so many web addresses and we haven't seen you guys in probably what four or five months easy oh easy more than that I think last time was March we've been super busy with work we haven't even been filming yeah crazy crazy busy yeah oh make money while you can really you know that's what you got to do that's what life's all about in this great economy so yeah how are you guys been um not bad i mean busy with work but i try to shoot like at least one day a week i mean we had plans luckily she's not a good shot so she's the thing um i haven't hit him yet but i Thank you.

not bad i mean busy with work but i try to shoot like at least one day a week i mean we had plans luckily she's not a good shot so she's the thing um i haven't hit him yet but i keep i keep trying get closer give her credit give me credit yeah we had a couple of really busy uh weekends where i had like multiple guys and it was like you know one guy i did two rounds with and then had another guy that came in he filmed the first guy and then i had fun with our common friend yeah our yeah our common friend so we had uh so that was a really busy weekend and the weekend after that was pretty busy too then it kind of slowed down a bit but i'm trying to do as much as i can but yeah it's been kind of yeah i'm busy here too our common friend is a multiple shooter.

Yes, he is a multiple shooter. Yeah, he's interesting. Actually, that photo shoot, a friend we met through the Swinger site, he actually does a lot of professional, more Hollywood-style video production.

He's part of a company and he actually that toy i showed you i bought that uh gimbal he actually came and he shot donna and our friend together using that gim a gimbal like that and the video turned out incredible i was like okay i gotta get one yeah he also did some interesting editing which was cool it makes a whole the gimbal adds a whole new aspect to shooting where you can get up closer and get some really unique angles and Thank you.

also did some interesting editing which is cool it makes a whole the gimbal adds a whole new aspect to shooting where you can get up closer and get some really unique angles and stuff so it's uh saves my back a lot of pressure too so yeah that sounds cool yeah no since we saw you my back has gotten really bad so oh really yeah so Yeah. Not a happy camper. But anyway, that's why I drink bourbon. That and I'm married. I think it's a marriage more than your back. And for those who are curious, tonight I am drinking Mickners. What are you drinking? Mickners, yeah.

I thought there was a speech impediment. Well, it's that too. We have people that ask, email all the time, what bourbon are we drinking?

What bourbon are we we drinking They don't care about who I'm having sex with They care about what bourbon you're drinking That's true Who's the sexy one One person did acknowledge That I was slurring my words the other podcast Yes I was inebriated I was a lot of back pain that day I didn't notice you were slowing your words What was the The question of the night You guys are We haven't done that in a while Because We were doing it And then people weren't answering So we said, okay, stop So same as we a thing that next time I see, I'll give Logan, I have a spunk lube shirt, or you can have it.

It's a large. And it tells you you were spunked. So we had a little contest that no one answered. So the shirt is still in my drawer we still have thank God to everyone we have still more listeners than we've ever had the slowdown for the summer is slightly lower but not noticeable and again we still challenge everyone to find one to two people that you know that might want to listen to the show we're not asking you for money we're asking you to grab us some listeners Let's get started.

And again, we still challenge everyone to find one to two people that you know that might want to listen to the show. We're not asking you for money. We're asking you to grab us some listeners. But yeah, next time we see you guys, I got a t-shirt for one of you, whichever one of you wants it. And we even got more spunk lube in. Yeah, we got another shipment of spunk lube in. We got spunk lube coming out of our spunk hole. That makes it fun for me. We put that shit on everything. I don't think you can use that slogan anymore. I think somebody else has that. You can't use it to cook.

That's for sure. What was that? You broke up. What was that? The WD 40 guy he sponsors their product on tiktok and he's like like 5 000 different ways yeah wd 40 next yeah yeah that guy next yeah that's it yeah we gotta get logan doing that i'll videotape logan right. Well, if you got that squeaky fence, you put some spunk lube on it. Next. I'm already taking it. Oh, my God. Yeah, we're going to put it on everything now. You got a squeaky bunghole? Put some spunk lube on it. Next. That big old dick won't go in your butt.

Spunkube if it works if it works keep my wife happy it'll work at work hey happy wife happy life she's having a hard time getting your dick down to the nuts in her mouth and it tastes fine so it's not really an issue there it has no and, you know, helps lube up the old throat for deep-throating. Yeah. I'll take your word for it. I put it down the back of the esophagus. Yeah, yeah. I drink the spunk lube milkshake. And it's good on toast. Coffee in the morning. There you go. You're putting my coffee in the morning.

we go you're putting my coffee in the morning start the day out right put it in a pan bottle spray it in a frying pan look your eggs don't stick we're only kidding do not do that it probably won't be good I don't know what happens when you cook it. Do not do any of that. Remember, this show is not professional advice. That's at the beginning of the show. My hand is up. I'm joking. I'm going to give advice. This is not professional advice. This is meant for any sexual uses. Yeah.

Do not add it to your smoothies so yeah but yeah no it's interesting glad you guys like it I mean Donna has been using it now for I don't know probably 8-9 years Spunk Lube yeah it's been a while the other product has been out of business for a while right right there was another product we used to be i thought it was a horrible name the guy came around it was called biker lube what was that oh i hear his laughter yeah we got every other word i know no we've plenty of plenty of products and spunk Lube is the best. There's, like, zero smell. The lubrication is perfect, and it lasts long enough.

We love it, honestly. And being amateur porn, I don't know what you would call us, we're an amateur porn But it's definitely a good product Yeah it's water soluble And most important it doesn't get sticky Yeah I hate ones that get sticky Yeah I even shave with it I put a little bit on It makes it like really smooth I can shave Instead of using Shaving cream and stuff she puts it on there Yeah yeah Keeps it nice and smooth I like a smooth pussy We'll see you next time. I can shave instead of using... Is that shaving cream and stuff? She puts it on there? I put that on there. Yeah, yeah.

Keeps it nice and smooth. I like a smooth pussy. Don't we all? It's one of those things. Don't give me no rough pussies. I don't know. I don't want all nubby. Come here, lick me. Not that kind of rough, sorry. No. I don't want a nubby pussy. Oh, man. So you guys are slowing down so you can shoot more porn now? We're trying, for sure. I'm trying to make, we're trying to push the, like when we have a moment, whatever, just turn the camera on. You guys fuck so much. You just put the goddamn thing on a motion sensor. I know, right? You walk in the bedroom, the camera goes on.

Oh, that was hysterical. Logan's like, go look that up on Amazon. Do they make a switch for that? A pressure switch. A pressure switch for the bed. As soon as you lay on the bed, the camera goes on. Yeah, but the problem is you go up, it goes on, you go down, it goes off. Son of a bitch. It's kind of like stop action video. They have a remote. They just, you know, reach over and turn on the camera. They just put it on a motion sensor. They sense his motion in the room. It goes on. Right. That's it on a motion sensor. If it senses motion in the room, it goes on. Right.

That's exactly what we need. There you go. You have to think about it then. Let's get a trail camera. A trail camera. I did think about that. Yeah. Is the quality there? I can't imagine the video quality is very good. Actually, no. The newer cameras, I mean, you spend some serious cash. You can get 4K cameras. Hmm. But, you know, if you want a camouflage thing hanging on your bedroom wall, that's up to you. I don't know. Don't care. People come in your bedroom. Why is there a trail camera on your bed? Hey, wild shit goes on. All I can tell you. Wild shit goes on.

You never know what's going to happen. Where's the house hanging in the ceiling? Those are plant hanger hooks. That's it. What the fuck is it? It's like, oh, our bedroom, we have a couple of cameras. We have cameras mounted on the wall.

And it's like, if I know my daughter and son-in-law coming over, it's like, oh shit, I've got to take this down She goes, they're not going to the bedroom I don't want to risk it He has to go into our bedroom for any reason Yeah, I don't want to traumatize him He's a nice guy, I don't know if it would click with him You know I'd just say, well, that's where all my guns are I was in the bedroom. So I want to make sure no one breaks in, steals them. Right. Right. With the cameras on them. Okay. Actually, that would make sense. Why are all the cameras aimed at the bed, though?

That's where you have all the guns. The guns are under the bed. I don't know what to talk about. Yeah. Just don't look on top of my bureau. The story keeps going. I don't know. Well, eventually the guy who would steal my guns has got to go by the bed, right? Yeah. There you go. There you go. And I want to make sure I get every angle of him leaving the bedroom. And the handcuffs on the wall are in case we catch him. There you go. There you go. We catch him. I have the handcuffs right there.

Anybody who broke into your house would want to stay he wouldn't want to leave with anything I don't know about him if I'm home, they're not going to be able to he'd break in, he'd be like damn, this looks like a good time can I move in yeah, that's what I'd say well, you know release. Five months? Yeah. Yep. So if not, he gets his own personal bed in the backyard. Oh, please, let's not go there. Yeah. Yeah, no. Oh, man. So it's great. You guys are shooting again. That's exciting. Again, you guys get a break in the schedule, man. I'd love to have you guys come over and shoot some more stuff.

I know. We've got to do a catch-up. Yeah, even just to hang out. Even if we don't shoot, just to hang out. I've saved up some brain cells I've got to get rid of. Oh, no.

He needs to save the brain cells save the brain cells well actually i have our number one fan uh steven is uh from uh out in utah is actually coming out to see us on the 8th he's gonna be hanging out with us for four days um awesome and uh he's a cool guy and uh you would probably even like him autumn so if you guys are available that weekend um you know you have to come out that sunday so what is that what that would be he's coming out the 8th through the 12th it's a friday he's coming out and then he's leaving that Tuesday of Of September. I was going to say, okay.

I was like, aren't we close to tomorrow's the 8th? No, he's coming out, sorry, September. September. So he's a good looking guy. Killer abs. He's been really training hard, man. His abs are washboard. He's been training like crazy. He sends me pictures all the time I'm going modern. Like a keg rather than a six-pack. Suck it in. Suck it and stick them out, Vince. Come on. I got a spin cycle, bitch. I'll take you to the spin cycle right here. I got that. It's a short cycle. I'm a water saver. You're a water saver. Oh, dear.

But, yeah, he's coming out, and, you know, he's a good guy, and we're going to definitely destroy what brain cells I have left. Bourbon will be consumed. Oh, boy. Cigars will be burned. And Donna will be getting banged. Hopefully. I was about to say sex will be had. the sex will be had was like no that doesn't sound right for me yeah i thought i put that in there i was like yep i'm glad you said that yeah it doesn't involve me and then uh we also are dragging him to a house party a swinger house swinger house party we got permission to bring a single male. He is fit to be tied.

He doesn't know whether shit or spit. The weird part is he's like, oh, I get to see a master pussy eater at work. It's like, dude, you're not going to see anything but the back of Vince's head and women squirreling and squirting and whatever. There's a bonus to that. There's a bonus, but making a mess. He booked first class tickets. What was that? He booked first class tickets. Yeah. Actually, I think he started already to leave. He's already packed, ready to go. He's like, I can't wait for the plane. Get me there. So, yeah, he's excited to get out here and have some fun.

And, you know, again, when he and I get on the phone, it's like an hour and a half conversation. It's great. It doesn't fucking stop. He's funny as shit, too. And so it's going to be – he'll be doing a couple podcasts with us. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He'll be doing our live Sunday night podcast. And, you know, he's been on the podcast before. And we'll probably do a prerecorded one, too. So he'll be able to tell you. You'll hear from him his idea of what is going on at the swinger party. You'll find out if we're bullshitting or not. Yeah. Why would we lie? Our tagline.

So if you guys are available, that was the 8th, 9th, 3th, 11th? No, 10th. I don't know what they do. If you guys are available the 10th, you know, let us know. Come on over. Yeah, definitely. We'll, we'll, for sure. Yeah, I'll grab some kind of piece of meat and throw it in a smoker and we'll have, uh... Wait a minute, that's Autumn and I. We're the meat. Come on, right? You want me to throw it in a smoker? I'll throw it in a smoker. Oh, I thought you meant like with cigars. Okay. Maybe you guys are the meat with the smoker. I don't know. What meat are we talking about here?

Whatever meat you want to put in your mouth is fine. It's good. You are a piece of meat, Autumn. Filet mignon. Prime rib, right? Tuna taco. Tuna taco. You are as well. The juicy center. You got that juicy center. That gum. What was that gum? Freshen up? Was that freshen up gum? I don't know I always called it cum gum Yeah I think it was freshen up gum The one you chewed and it squirted in your mouth Do you guys remember that gum?

Yeah We always called it cum gum Everybody did It's like autumn You lick her a little bit And she squirts in your mouth That's not a bad thing I'm bragging It's called gushers As sexual as that sounds It's gushers Is it gushers? I don't know It's been a long time Holy shit I wouldn't even know how to even find that out I would type in cum gum I bet you'd soak them up as cum gum You think so? I bet you would He has to have a computer right there He's going to do that Cum gum CumGum? Five TV commercials. I have no idea what it was actually. That's a Swiss Miss one? Swiss Miss? Retro.

With Senator Jones. Oh my goodness. That's a generic explanation. You have to find the real one. I think they were called Gushers, but I don't... Might have been. I don't know. A bunch of stupid commercials on this one. Let's see. Cum Gums. Cum Gums. What was the gum? Freshen Up. It was Freshen Up. Okay. Was it? Yeah, I didn't think the name was really all that sexual i don't know what a gushers were maybe something similar it's probably a copy of it could be but it was like back that came out what back in't know. I remember chewing that one when I was a kid. Take that pizza out.

Hey, guys, we got to run. Sorry, but Fred. Hey, no worries. I'm glad you could call in. Yeah. It's great to hear from you guys. What are you doing? Stop messing with things. I don't know. I'm just trying to get to this freshen up commercial. Is that what you're trying to do? Oh, my goodness. How about freshen up gum? Love that squirt. What do you love when you bite into one? Love that squirt. Love that squirt. There. Pizza and bird. All right. All right. YouTube's a great thing sometimes. It is a good thing sometimes. All right. Well, you guys go enjoy your pizza.

And I'm going to go give Donna her birthday beating. Oh, good. I was waiting for her all day. I don't have any birthday bruises. Everybody gets, you know, smacked. Normally it's just, you know, you get a spank for your birthday, but she's so old now that it's actually considered a beating. Yay, my birthday beating. It gets worse. Every year I get more bruises, more beat up. Yay. I'm sitting here and I'm like, 20, 21. It's like, you fucking bitch. 20, 24, 25. You have to work out for him. His arm is sore when he's done. And the hand starts to sting. Yeah, his hand starts to sting. Wow.

I've got to wait for the ass to stop wiggling so I can hit it again. I don't know. starts to sting I gotta wait for the ass to stop wiggling so I can hit it again all that jiggling and stuff it hurts my neck when I'm trying to watch it it's like you're such a douchebag alright we'll see you guys take care we'll be talking soon bye bye We'll see you guys. Take care, we'll be talking soon. Okay, bye-bye. We'll see you, have a great night. So anyway, yes, so it is your birthday. Yeah. That was awesome, though, I haven't heard from him in a while. Yeah, in months, months and months.

That was good to hear from them, that was He had the birthday beating I'm on that now Thank you That makes sense We want to get into the 30s, 40s 50s That was just abuse That was just abuse It's like 61, 62 Jesus Christ Now I'm just pissed off, my hand hurts You son of a bitch Thank you. We do not condone violence when it comes to women. Absolutely. But the birthday beating does sound pretty fucking funny. The birthday beating will begin. It does sound pretty fucking funny. I guess after you're getting that old, yeah, boy. My ass would be so beet red.

It gets beet red just from one or two smacks. You're going to be doing 60. Not for me. I don't smack your ass. No. Other people have, though. Yes. You're not a smacky person. No, I'm not. No. Not a violent person. Unless I have to be. Oh, yeah. You're not a violent person. If I have to be. Oh, okay. Justification there. Okay. Marriage makes me have to be. Yeah, that's what it is. Marriage. Yeah. I've never been so happy. That's what you tell me every day. Every day. Thank you. Oh, okay, justification there, okay. A marriage makes me have to be. Yeah, that's what it is, marriage.

Yeah, I've never been so happy. That's what you tell me every day. Every day. 17 times a day. Well, I have to, you know, it's subliminal to have a little tape recorder. Oh, so here's something. The person I've been trying to set up things with for your little birthday surprise. Oh, this is the mystery man? The mystery man? Uh-huh. He reached out to me today, and tomorrow night he and I are going to talk and coordinate it. So that's why I was asking you if you have off this Thursday evening. I'll have to confirm, because I might have a mystery man come and molest me. I mean, seduce me.

However you want to look at it. I'm a willing participant with that. There you go. I need to have, I need to find a good pair of blindfolds. Blindfold. Yeah. I don't want to use like a cheap one. The ones you currently wear, you can always see me through them. Yeah. Just put a bag over my head. So, yeah, so Thursday if your schedule permits, I need to know because we're going to talk to him tomorrow night to try to confirm it. Again, I can't speak to his schedule for Thursday. I'm going to try to arrange it for this Thursday. Oh, that'd be interesting. So, if not Thursday, maybe Sunday night.

So, if it's Sunday night, then what we can do is do the live show after that. Oh. I think I'd rather do it Thursday. Because afterwards I might just want to Thank you.

night so if it's sunday night then what we can do is do live show after that oh i think i'd rather do it thursday because afterwards i might just want to just pass out from all the orgasms you hope i'm anticipating oh i have a funny feeling you will yeah funny feeling too so i know nothing about this person like yeah i think it's going to be fun you've never played with this person before you know nothing about this person i've given you no hints nope Thank you. nothing about this person. I'm like, yeah, I think it's going to be fun. You've never played with this person before? No.

You know nothing about this person? Nope. I've given you no hints? Nope. Santa Claus. Santa Claus? What did you say? Did you say Santa Claus? No. Would I say Santa Claus? I think you would say Santa Claus. No, I wouldn't say that. I said there's no hints, Santa Claus. I thought that's what you said. Snow? no. Snow, no? What's this? What are you talking about? I don't know. Maybe my headphones are... Yeah, there's new headphones. Yeah, meow. I know. Come on, meow. Stop that meow. So now I'm going to talk to him tomorrow night, Santa Claus. And we'll see... He did it again. What?

He know what you're doing. What did I do, Santa Claus? I think he did it again. Did what? I I I to do it again. What? You know what you're doing. What did I do, Santa Claus? I think you did it again. Did what? I'm sitting here doing nothing. You said Santa Claus. Why did I say Santa Claus? I don't know. I just did it again. I think there's something wrong, Santa Claus, with your ears I'm not even going to listen to you. You never do. Well, I'm just going to keep doing it because obviously it works. What's that? Not listening to you. Okay. I don't know why James Bond you listen to me.

James Bond. So I'm going to talk to this guy tomorrow, James Bond, and see what's going on for maybe Thursday, Santa Claus Daniel Craig Now you're just wishful thinking If he even looks like Daniel Craig Or anything like Daniel Craig I'll be very happy You're not going to know I'll be able to feel Come on, all my senses will be heightened and I'll be feeling and figuring out what he looks like with using my fingertips. I'm going to hot glue your arms to the side of your body. I'll be like using my lips and my fingertips to feel every inch of him to figure out what he really looks like.

I'm duct taping you to a construction horse and he's just going to come in and fuck your ass. Oh, that could be interesting. Will he use Spunk Loop? I have a gut feeling that by the end of the evening, that James Bond, you might be able to be able to tell if you, through your hands, who he might be. Okay. I don't know. I don't care. You're going to be in the room blindfolded. Right. Yep. Duct taped. Duct taped. Don't duct tape my mouth. That's going to just ruin everything. No. Duct tape it open. Thank you. What else? No. Going to go in the room and then once you're in position. Ready. Okay.

Well, he's going to come in. Uh-huh. Just the two of you. Okay. And when he's done, he will leave. You will not remove your blindfold until I come in. I know. I played this game before. I know. Until I come in and remove the stuff by pulling the duct tape fast off of all the hairy parts. I'll put it over there. I'll make sure I use I'll be using lots and lots of spunk lube and shaving a lot so it won't even stick to me because of the spunk lube. I'm going to put it over your head. Okay, I'm in trouble then. I'm shaving my head. Fuck it.

You know, depending depending on what time he gets out of here on Thursday, we could possibly record Friday's podcast. Yeah, that would be an interesting podcast. I'd have to see what his schedule is for Thursday. Okay. And maybe it's not him. It could be Santa Claus. It could be Santa Claus or Daniel Craig. And all of those. It's a gang bang. That would be a very interesting video. Okay, we'll save that for another show. I'm partying on Mystery Lover for you. And his small friends. And 17 other guys. 17 other. No, it's going to be seven. Why?

Because it's like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Oh, you want short guys now? I don't care. How would I know? I'm 4'11". They could be five foot and they're like, oh, you're an Amazon. How about a bunch of guys like three foot? That'd be kind of fun. I'm not usually taller than any. I'm going to get you different types of dwarves. I'm going to get you like impotent and premature. Dwarves that didn't make it into the Snow White series. Curved dick. Droopy dick. Sleepy dick. Whiskey dick. Whiskey dick. Has no dick. That's not good. That's not a good one.

yeah that that's not good that's not a good one yeah that that would not be a good that would not be a good one so yeah we'll get that set up so Wednesday show okay I'll reveal to you on the show what the plans might be okay I'm waiting with bated breath. Okay. Should be interesting. Should be interesting. Okay. So I want to thank everyone for listening. And check out hotwifedonnalyn.com to see where everything Donna's doing. You want to reach out to us and send us an email at?

Oh, it's hotwifepodcast.gmail.com there's other ways to contact us if you just follow my link at hotwifedonnalyn.com there's all the links to all the platforms I'm at and all the stuff I'm doing and social media and all the fun stuff and wish me luck with this mystery man thing because who knows where it's going to go Santa Claus it's a big fat guy with a beard check out MILF Autumn oh yeah MILF Autumn dot com check out what's going on with Autumn, you won't be disappointed incredibly sexy incredibly sexy if she plays her cards right she could have me I think you already did Let's do it again.

Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. So, I'm going to try. That's all I can do. That's all I can do. Roofies. We don't condone that no date rape drugs. That's not nice. No, not at all. I meant for me, though. So, again, thank everyone for listening and have a great night. Yeah, everybody have a great night.