Admiration vs. Possession: When Desire Becomes Control

Transcript

this program contains strong sexual content. No one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download this podcast in any manner. The host, guest, and performers are all over the age of 18. Rebroadcasting the podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the Hot Wife podcast. The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of Hot Wife podcast owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast, turn the heat to 10, spill the tea Oh, gosh. One of those days at work, you know.

We all have them. That is true. Mine are one day after another. So, anyway. Yeah, anyway. Exciting news. Pool's open. Not ready to swim yet, but it's open. Yeah. A little chilly, a little nipply. A little nipply. A little dick sucking into the body cavity. I guess a little bit. It's always kind of like depressing when we take the cover off and you see how murky the water is, and you're like, oh. Yeah, but in a couple of days, it's fine. Yeah, in a couple of days, you run the filters. I mean, the water's still like 68 fucking degrees. I haven't even put the thermometer in it.

I'm guessing, I don't know. Yeah, I want to put batteries in it. I will get to that.

But I know that in another month, it'll be swimmable hopefully sooner hopefully sooner but end of this month is memorial day yeah we we always try to get into the water on memorial day or that weekend or right around in there i don't think we did last year it was just too darn cold i might break down get myself one of those like wetsuits i was even looking for uh i'm just looking online just browsing for pool heaters oh yeah gas ones not electric if you did that doesn't matter they're either expensive both are expensive um they're probably very similar price wise yeah to put them in yeah i'm expensive to run Gas isn't that much cheaper than electric.

But propane. It's still not that much cheaper. But anyway, this is not that show. No, it's not that show. But you have the water that's warm. You know, I could. Get in it sooner. I could get in it sooner. That's for sure. But when you get out in the air, temperature's still freaking cold. Well, yeah, but then you have the fire pit going. This is what's called a hot tub. That's what you're thinking of. With you and your shoulders, you'd probably be better off just getting a fucking hot tub. No, I don't want a hot tub. They're very... I can sit in that and have a cigar and drink bourbon too.

Yeah. So it doesn't matter. I don't have a pool of hot tubs. Hot tubs have a very... I know they have a certain sexual allure, a romantic allure to them. And there is something very cool sitting in a hot tub in the wintertime. The snow is falling down. You have to wear a cap of some sort. You don't have to. But I wore like a little knit cap because my ears would get cold. And the snow is falling. That's a long story. No, but the steam is coming, rising off the hot tub. This is not what the episode's about. I know it's not, but shut up.

I'm going to paint a picture of fucking an elf in a hot tub. I'm sorry, go ahead. Never mind now. No, it but it was very it is very cool it is very cool if you ever get a chance to get into a hot tub your body aches my body aches actually scream more for a hot tub than it does fucking a pool but we have a hot tub year-round and we have the veranda down there or the pergolaola, sorry. The pergola. The pergola that, you know, it could be covered here. Our electric bill would skyrocket. You know that, so. They're not going down anyway. But anyway, what's tonight's topic? This is not sexy.

This is not sexy. I'm tired to begin with. Now you're ready to really fall the fuck asleep. Admiration versus possession. That's a lot of big words. Oh, I know. It's the difference between appreciating your partner and trying to own them. And we do know a lot of people that go there. You know, letting go of the outdated relationship thinking. Okay.

Like, I do remember, I always, I have dated some very possessive people in my past yeah you have and some of you jealous yeah oh i'm not arguing yeah yeah absolutely and it seems like the uh people in the lifestyle for the most part seem to be more liberated and i still think there's So some level of control you see in some people. Oh, and that's true. It still exists. It does still exist. But when you can appreciate and admire your mate as opposed to possessing and owning them. When are you going to start? I don't possess or own you. I do admire you.

I get a kick out when i see you know a woman that's uh the well that you're done with her and she's just a quivering lump of flesh and she comes over and thanks me and actually like almost worships me it's very it's been over a year since that it's been a while but we haven't gone to many parties because of our work schedule but it has happened it's not like it never happened and it was very cool and it was very um i felt very proud i did admire you i did you know well i think the topic goes beyond just like in those situations oh absolutely i think we came up with the topic due to the point, like, I had seen a video on Instagram or something where some guy came up and said something to a pretty woman, and then the husband walks up and, like, cold cocks the guy and knocks him out.

Oh, really? Yeah, he was just that jealous, like, oh, you don't come talk to her. Well, you know, there was nothing on her that said that she was taken or, you know. Oh, dear God. I can understand if that happens, you sit there and go, hey, man, you know, thanks for admiring her, but she's married to me. Okay? That's true. And most guys would be, okay, oh, man, I'm sorry. It's like, no, no, you know. Oh, so the admiration in your case comes from the outside source, not from the other partner. Yeah, like, you know, we've talked about before, where guys have made comments, too.

You know, we were at that one restaurant, guys came over and asked me, can I compliment your wife? And I said, yeah. See, that was the answer for permission. And they said, wow, you've got such a fat, no. Ugly wife. He's got, he's slovenly. How do you deal? Yeah, he liked your legs, and he had that guy in the short shorts up the road there. Shorty shorts. You're a pretty one. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know, but.

Yeah, I don't get upset about it unless they're being rude no they were very complimentary they were all respectful and that's fine I I sit there and actually I like when that happens for the fact that it drives home the point that when I tell you I find you sexy and attractive, that, you know, that other people are telling you, like I've always said, that, you know, your significant other can tell you you're attractive or whatever bullshit they want to feed you, like mine does. Oh, I do, constantly. You hear it from somebody else, it tends to mean more.

Because you feel your significant other should be telling you that, or you hope they tell you that. Right. And also, they're willing to overlook your many flaws. No, you point them out. See, that's what a good wife does. She points out your flaws so you can correct them. But according to you, I'll never do anything right. So it wouldn't matter. Shut up. But. You're such an ass. But that's...

correct them but according to you i'll never have anything i'll never do anything right so it wouldn't matter um but it's such an ass but no if somebody compliments you i'm i'm happy for that yeah you say well thank you yeah yeah i agree i mean but you know people that get bent out of shape oh you don't talk to her or him or whatever oh my god i know it's like get over yourself if you're that insecure, you shouldn't people that get bent out of shape, like, oh, you don't talk to her or him or whatever. Oh, my God. I know. It's like, get over yourself.

If you're that insecure, you shouldn't be in a relationship, you know? And we see it. I mean, I understand that in the lifestyle, couples have rules. We've talked about that before numerous times, okay? Yeah, we sure have. I get that, respect that, and everything else. But there are still people, I just got to stop to mess with that there are still people that we know that we've played with plenty of times and like as an example there was a situation that we just kind of thought everything was you know green light go oh copacetic yeah yeah you know we're like okay we're over the jump, go.

And then all of a sudden, someone got all ass hurt. And it was like, oh, you didn't get my permission. Fuck you. I've never gotten your permission. No, this is a first. Your wife generally rapes me, motherfucker. That's true. I know exactly the situation. You know what it might be, too? Well, his ass got hurt because no one paid attention to him. That's number one. That was that situation. Number two, in this particular situation, he was not in control of it. He was out of his element. Usually, he's the host, so he's in control. And he likes to be in control. Now, he's not in control.

In this situation, again, we're talking a general topic, but in this situation, he's the one, he wants to be the center of attention. Yep, and he likes to be in control. He wants to be, yes, he's very dominant in so many ways. Or wants to be dominant anyway. And, you know, his dominance gets to be disrespectful. He isn't aware of that. Yeah, it does. It really does. So within a certain measure, I'm fine with it, but then when it gets to be disrespectful, I get like, okay, enough is enough. That's it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, he's not good in a neutral situation. He has to be dominant. Right.

And that's the, yeah, that's his problem. Between them, and that's fine. I respect the rules. Right. But, you know, he doesn't understand. Don't come give me shit when you change the rules and didn't tell me. Exactly. If you're going to have rules in a situation, they have to be consistent. But, yeah. And across all different kinds of scenarios. And they were fine as long as we were in his house. And I mean that generally, air quotes. Like in his environment. In his comfort zone. In his comfort zone.

You take him out of his comfort zone, all of a sudden it's like, oh, I've got to have control, you've got to ask me permission. It's like, well, we never did that before, so why is that happening now? Yeah. You know? Or is it one of those kind of things? Yeah, and when you go around and he starts pawing at you, he didn't ask my permission. No, he never did. You know, but anyway, that's another story. But no, I think, I mean, especially if you're in a lifestyle, I think you should have some, I think most do. I can't say at all. Right.

Some level that if your wife is getting attention from other people, men, women, both, whatever they might recognize themselves as, I don't know. You have to, you should sit there and admire that. Like, you know, it's a reflection on you. It's like, yeah, I have this special person in my life. You know what? And he or she, they get to recognize that other people find them attractive too. That's really important. That is kind of complimentary, really. It feeds your ego. It does, yeah. It should feed both people's ego. I agree. I agree because it should feed whoever the attention is targeting.

It's going to feed their ego. But if you're the significant other, well, you're the one who is in that relationship. So you must have good taste too, or you pick a very, you know, quality person, and so it's a compliment on you as well. And again, you know, let's pretend it's going to move past the compliment stage. Right, right. Let's pretend it's at a swinger party or whatever. Sure. That one of them should potentially go back to the other person and go, honey, would you mind if I go entertain this football team? Only happened once. Yeah, but that was like six days. Well, that's true.

Big team, yeah. Yeah. Had to do the second string, too. Coaches, owner. We did the away team. And the away team, yeah. And then the away team and the away team and then the farm team I'm a team player let's put it that way the college prospects whatever but no I think it's something that is a valuable thing and I think the possession thing in my opinion that's all this is I think it's something that is a valuable thing. And I think the possession thing, in my opinion, that's all this is. Yeah, that's all we're doing. I think the possessive bullshit is just that.

I think you're, I don't know, I wouldn't want to feel owned. No. I mean, my ex-wife didn't make me feel owned. She made me feel like shit. Right. But that was a different story. I mean, feeling owned might play its part in a BDSM realm of some sort, but I don't particularly want to feel owned. I mean, I don't mind it for like short bits, but I couldn't live there. I could not ever live there.

you know because i know for me it's just a little role play that i'm doing for 15 minutes or a half hour or something like that or an evening or something like that until it comes yeah until yeah and then i'm not owned anymore yeah now you own him now i own him yeah that's true good point good point but Good point. But yeah, I wouldn't like that. I would feel very oppressed. I wouldn't like that. And I have been in kind of oppressive relationships where they were very needy and had to know where I was and were very insecure. That's what it comes down to.

If you don't trust your mate, that means you're insecure. And if you had done it to them. Oh, they would have been all bent out of shape about it. I'm quite sure. Where are you? Where have you been? You can't do that. You can't talk to her. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's what's good for the goose is good for the ganders, as they say. And if it's not equal, you know, there's something missing there. So I'm sure these people can't see that they're being oppressive, that they're being possessive. Do you think it's based in insecurity? I think a lot of it is, yes. Absolutely.

You feel you have to possess someone? Because you're afraid of losing them.

Well, you know, and and i get it you might be with someone really special i hope to be one day i'm sure you will someday you're a great guy huh you'll be you'll be you lied to me so i do lie a lot on your back on my size with the whole team um but um yeah i mean that insecurity that like oh i'll never find anyone else it's like yeah jesus christ get out there you know i thought that when i was like 12 and i like i had a boyfriend who broke up with me or i broke up with him or whatever where are we going to to find another 25-year-old? At 12 years old, where am I going to find a 25-year-old?

I'm an old maid now. I'm an old maid now, yeah. I remember my mother saying, there's plenty more fish in the sea. But at that time, you just had to do it. What does that have to do with me getting laid, Mom? Wait a minute, I was not getting's get that. You waited at 13. I was 14, come on. She'll be looking for a fisherman, mom. Is that what you're telling me? Is that a fisherman? I don't even like fish. I like shrimp, though. That's a whole different story. But yeah, these people that are controlling, and they want you under their thumb.

They need to know every action, everything that you're doing. I think it is very draining. Well, I told you, my ex-wife had a girlfriend, and her husband was super possessive. Oh, yes, I remember. He actually, when he came home, he did some things, like he would actually put his hand down her pants to feel if her pussy was wet, to see if she was excited or had been with somebody. Oh, my God.

Then he would go in the bathroom to see if the towels were wet, if she showered during the day to clean up, and or how much toilet paper might have been used to see if maybe she had to clean up after somebody came and fucked her. Oh, my. That person has a real fucking problem. A real problem. Oh, you used up too much toilet paper. I had diarrhea, for God's sakes. I took a shower because I shit myself. Save it for him. Here. You'd have to prove it to him. That's too much energy. Well, here's the funny part. Okay. Is that wife, she went batshit crazy. Oh, yeah. I would imagine.

I think that had a lot to do with it. And she actually went and started telling people that it wasn't just me. She said that other people that were friends with them, that their husbands all were hitting on her and came over and tried to rape her and all this stuff. And so my wife at the time, being the jealous, possessive bitch she was, might still be, I guess. She's like, you fucked around with her, Baba? I said, what? She goes, yeah. She was telling everybody that you, and I said, okay, let's back up a minute, back up. What day was that? Well, I said, hang on.

I said, she has this husband who worries about her fucking around on her. So if she's telling everybody that, that me and a couple other guys, apparently we found that out later, we're doing this. Don't you think her husband would have come over and gotten my face and they're like, the cops would have showed up because it would have been a good fight. I'm not going to argue. Yeah. He would would have confronted you for sure. Yeah, she goes, oh, I hadn't thought about that. Now, in the meantime, she wanted to divorce me at the time. She wanted, you know, all this stuff.

And I'm like, okay, I'm good with that. Yeah, you should have taken her up one day back then. But at least can you send your friend over and let me actually fuck her? So I can, yeah, really. I mean, she's a good looking woman. Yeah, yeah. There's no way she wanted anything to do with me. But she was starved for attention. She wanted good attention from her husband. She wasn't getting it. That's not good attention. That's bad attention. She wanted attention. I'll put it that way. Yeah. He was giving her attention.

My wife at the time, who was so possessive also, was, you know, now she's already convicted and ready to execute me. And then when I say, well, if I had done that. Now, again, she didn't know that she'd also done this to numerous other people that she works with. Yeah. Because they all work together. And she was saying that this girl's husband did it and this girl's husband did it. And then afterwards, she was like, well, I'm really sorry. Fuck you. You know, you said, not the girl, my wife. Right, exactly. It's like, no. You know, you tried and executed me before finding out.

Yeah, you can go fuck yourself. That was the real start of the downfall of that marriage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm not a fan of being, it's happened more than once in my life, and you know this, I'm not getting into it. I've been convicted of a crime that I didn't commit and, you know, I've suffered for it. Yeah. And even when they find out that I didn't do it, you know. When you're a possessive person, though, I think even if you are, I think there's such that insecurity that they're going to lose that special person. I think it just messes with everything else. It really does.

Well, how do you think these people handle if and when their mate passes? I have no idea. I do not know. I don't know. Do they think that the person, he deliberately died. He didn't want to be with me he died to be with that bitch he works at the bar down the road she's still alive but he died to be with her yeah it'll be something that that's definitely some kind of mental hey can i take a quick diversion from all this. Oh, sure, go ahead. One of our number one fan, Wayne, his son and family are going through some stuff, some medical stuff with his son.

Again, if you're a religious person, I'm asking you to just keep Wayne and his family in your prayers and hope for the best for their son. Oh, that's really sweet, hon. Yeah, that's a good sentiment. So I knew I wouldn't say I didn't remember it until just now, though. Yeah. So, yeah, please give Wayne's son. Wayne and his family and his son all. Keep them in your prayers. Yeah, Wayne, we're thinking about you. But, yeah, the people that get over-possessive, it's just like that's a hell of a life to live.

I, it makes me, I get really full of like angst when I think about those situations because I lived in a situation where my boyfriend was very possessive. Yeah, you had a couple of them. I had a couple of them that were like just, it didn't start out that way. They became that way. I think too that. And I'm just the opposite. The more we're together, it's like, hey, go fuck somebody. Honey, would you please... All right, don't get into it. Yeah. I just love it when you're with somebody. Yeah, because then I get laid more. Yeah, yeah, it's very exciting for both of us.

If you aren't getting fucked by other people, it's like, who are you again? Your husband. So I have fucked you. Yes. Okay, so I don't have to pay attention to you. Oh, shut up. You are. You're like 23-year-old bread. Stale. Not exciting. Not really at all. Oh, you're very exciting. Stop it. Yeah. Well, hey. As she yawns. I did not yawn. You are lying. You lying sack of shit. I did not. Stop. I take offense to that. Go ahead. I have to compliment you. You're embracing the flogging me very well. I like that. I still don't get it. I don't want to do it every single weekend. I still don't get it.

I don't have to have to well you got somebody else coming over to try flogging you this weekend yeah we're gonna try it yeah i i i don't think he's um he's a dabbler so i don't i'll have to that's more than i am yeah i'm awake well he has my official my level is what the fuck is this he he has all the gear oh but i don't know if he's ever used it back i have a car it doesn't make me a nascar driver good point good point i have feet doesn't mean i'm a marathon runner okay point well taken i have a penis doesn't mean i'm a porn star you know where are we going with this i don't know someone's got shit doesn't shit.

That's true. I got a mixing board and some microphones. Doesn't mean I'm Joe fucking Rogan. Oh, you know, the analogy is not lost on me. Okay. I see that. No one impresses me. Like, well, I've got the stuff. Well, so what? I got the stuff. I bought the whip. I don't know how to use it. I'm a dom. I have a whip and a flogger. Wow, that's great. That's great. There's a lot more to it. Is your name Dominic? That's what it is. He's a dom already. But we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. It might be fun. It might be something different. He'll be happy.

As long as he doesn't hurt you, then I won't make him happy. No, no. He's fine. I know. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. I've been chatting with him for quite a while. You got to chat with a new guy that seems like potentially. Oh, potentially, yes. Actually, yes. Very interesting. I saw on the side of his penis it said USS something. I couldn't tell which battleship that was. I don't know, but it's a pretty long dick, and it's like, oh, my, that's going to hit bottom. His dick is going to get here 10 minutes before he does. That does scare me a little bit, I have to admit. Oh, gosh.

I can deal with a little bit of girth more than I can in length, but it's all good. I do stretch, so. You better before you get here. I may have to. You're right. I may have to. Some fucking yoga, yogurt, everything matters. Yeah, I'm going to be doing all kinds of Pilates. Invite a friend. Whatever. Whatever. Yeah, sometimes. Break out the old Jane Fonda fucking VHS tape. Start doing that shit. Jesus. You know? I don't know if that's going to help. I think yoga might. At this point, it might not hurt. It might not hurt. Yeah, that's for sure. That's for sure. Oh, yeah.

He sounded like really like a lot of fun with it. Oh, he sounds like a great guy. Great guy. Yeah, we did a conference call with him. Yeah, it was very nice. It was on. A speaker. No, it a conference call. Sounds important, doesn't it? Yeah, a conference call. Yeah, we had a conference call. He should be a lot of fun. He's great to talk to. He's coming like 60 miles to see you. Yeah, it's a long haul. It'll probably be a few weeks, but we'll keep you posted. Yeah, every time we talk about it, you know that something's going to happen.

It's going to snow, it's going to rain, it's going to blizzard. It's June, 30 inches of snow. Yeah, all because I had a play date scheduled. It's like, ah, can't talk about them. We're not allowed to talk about them. Yeah. So anyway, all right, so we covered the topic. Yeah, I think so. I just think people in the lifestyle, though, there are the few that are possessive to some degree, but I think a lot of them have liberated themselves from it and can really enjoy the freedom of letting their spouse be who they are and experience different things and not feel threatened.

I think there's still a level of people in the lifestyle that still in the back of their head are afraid that, oh, my significant other is going to play with this person and fall in love and leave me. So I think you still have some. Yeah, but that could happen anytime, anywhere. I'm praying for it. Yeah, you want to fall in love with somebody, is that it? No. You want me to run away with somebody else? Is that it? Oh, okay. Yeah. Not you. No. Shut up. I wouldn't say that. Oh, stop. I might shake my head yes, but I wouldn't say it. He's such a jerk. I don't believe a word you're saying.

Not even a word. You're so pretty. See, not a word. I don't believe a word you're saying. Not even a word. You're so pretty. See, not a word. You smell elegant. Oh, yeah. Okay, now I know you're lying. God, you're so tall. Those long legs. Wow, your pussy smells great. Oh, shut up. You know, there's no sag in your tits at all. You know what? Your ass is up so high. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, you've got to have an alarm for everything. Oh, that was a bullshit alarm. It's a bullshit alarm. I'm sorry, my bullshit alarm just went off, so you have to stop now. Oh, okay. I got something for you.

I sent this to my daughter. Uh-oh. There was there was a car years ago okay this is a comedy section section okay sorry about this guy so there um there was a car years ago it was parked in front of our house that um was asian people right and they had instead of they had a backup sensor on their car right that didn't didn't beep. You know, beep, beep, the truck and shit. Oh, yes. It was Asian. And they said, this car is backing up. This car is backing up. Well, for my office, if I'm in the back room, someone walks in, I never know they're there.

So I bought this cheap little thing off Amazon a week ago. Okay. Just took batteries in for it now. But it has, you can play music. If someone, like it has a little sensor, if someone walks in. Oh, okay. But it also has a voice. Oh, no. Let me play this for you. Oh, dear. This is going to be inappropriate, isn't it? No, it's not inappropriate. Hang on. We got to turn the speaker on. Okay. I'm waiting with beat and breath. Hello, welcome. Welcome. I heard that. I started pissing myself.

That so wrong hello welcome it's the little things in life that make you laugh my little thing makes you laugh i never laughed at your little thing it makes me but you did say little thing oh it makes me smile yeah it's. Because you've been with me so long. It's no longer laughter. It's just a smile. It's so cute. Maybe if I water it, it will grow. Maybe you need to sit out in the sun some more. Get a little sun on that, a little water, some fresh air. Maybe it'll grow. Maybe. If I set them in a greenhouse, would that expedite things?

Now you're thinking about we're going to go look at greenhouses this weekend you'll put like a tent over you all right I think we killed this one all right 50shadesofpleasure.com the new magazine is out Desires was it Pleasures and Desires? Oh, Dark Side Desires is the theme, yeah. So check it out. It's free. 50ShadesOfPleasure.com. And? Oh, HotWifeDonnaLynn.com.

You see all the things I'm posting several times a day, all the little freebies, little teasers, videos um everything else i can everything else i can think of the post so with that if you want to see her naked and fucking naked and fucking sometimes i have clothes on sometimes sometimes and with that hey stay horny have a good night, everybody.