Things about our Ex's

Transcript

Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now let's heat things up. hello everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot white podcast of course with me is my awesome husband, Vince. I'm awesome today. Not so wonderful. No, that's a wonderful one. Awesome. I'm lucky to have you, dear. Oh, good thing I drugged you. That's what I'm thanking you for. So hopefully everybody is staying cool. It's summer. It's summer. I know those environmentalists think that we're going through something unusual, this heat in the summer. We're in quite a dry spell, though. I'll agree with that. I'm in a different type of dry spell. Obviously not alcohol. Oh, boy. So soon into the show too okay you know it's been one of those days yeah it's been hot and i you know even we started hanging i never thought summer's hot i i know but it's like you know i remember as a kid we would shovel so much snow in the summer this summer yeah okay you know and then we're diving in the lakes and stuff in the winter. It was great. I don't know what happened. You know, it's all flipping. Maybe we're just not used to it yet. It seems like it's... Sorry, I like to call it stupidity. I call myself all the time, just let you know. I remember things being really, really super dry, but not till July, August. Like drought. We're not there yet. It could get there. It could get there could get that's what i mean it seems like it's awful early that's all i'm saying and that it doesn't mean it hasn't come earlier in centuries past or years past or whatever i think they always keep track of the hottest days and they they were saying the hottest day in that in our the you know the stretch of um heat wave that we had was 1923 so it was like 101 years ago so you know shit happens once in a while so I want to say it's like yeah it's hot but it was also hot 100 years ago we'll discuss this further when done the show we'll go down to the pool and we'll talk about it so um yeah I didn't I look I'm dressed for the pool i actually might say you have clothes on not by not by much no not by much but the thing is it's like a patch of clothing piece of tear of the string you have to understand there's still a little part of that fence is kind of open i don't want to be freaking out the neighbors they shouldn't be looking over they don't want to see me in my fucking wicked weasel bikini bottom i see you rock you don't want to see me in that wicked weasel you rock the wicked weasel if i don't shave my crotch it's more like the wicked fucking groundhog It's like a fucking vulture's nest looking thing with it i know a vulture's nest with some twine around it a fucking guy who cuts our lawn came by at the weed eater it's not all of that's a weed yeah be careful with that one hey he bills me for that I'm going back wait a minute I'm not going to send you Venmo for that wait a minute here I can't afford to have any more taken off I think the doctor sneezed anyway alright hey if you want to reach out to us our email is info at hotwifepodcast.com if you are in the need for lubricant you know especially this time of year Thank you. email is info at hotwifepodcast.com if uh you are in the need for lubricant uh you know especially this time of year i think you probably need lubricant more in the summer don't you um yeah when we were like when i was playing around by the pool i i don't know if you guys saw but i quick got up and i just said like the water is a terrible lubricant i just think like when you're skin you might be sweaty but sweat's not a lubricant either no sweat's terrible but You know what's a good lubricant. Well, not even that. I just think like when you're, you might be sweaty, but sweat's not a lubricant either. No, sweat's terrible. But you know what's a good lubricant? Spunk Lube. There you go. Where's my get it? At spunklube.com. All right. And if you do what? Enter the code at the checkout code or discount code, hotwife, you get 10%. All one word, hotwife. Yeah, all one word. Thank you. 10% off your order. Yeah, you're good. So, yeah, check it out. It's great stuff. We stand by it. Can't stand on it. You'll slip and fall. We can stand by it. Yeah, I'm glad I packed some up to go down there because I, you know, when you're messing around down by water. You didn't. I did. What? When I came into the studio to get the camera, I grabbed that little bottle over there. You grabbed that little bottle, but I grabbed the one that actually. Okay, you have the other one. Yeah, I had the other one also. I have it like in another, like an easier, easy application bottle. Oh, it's my Hot Wife podcast. Well, you were thinking. I'll give you that, but I grabbed the one that I loaded because it's easier to.
Speaker2: I like the bottle.
Speaker1: So someone wants to see some of these videos. You can check me out at hotwifedonnalyn.com see what a naughty girl i'm being i'd like to be naughtier but my shoulders keeping me it's like oh there's so many things i'm like oh my shoulder's not gonna hold out for this but now her sexy piece of lingerie is a shoulder brace yep yeah but um anyway hey the Math still works.'s just have to get into a better position so we had a um topic originally planned for the show and somehow this other topic popped in my head okay you throw it out there i don't know i do it's got to explain it right okay so not counting sex partners you may have had in their lifestyle. Okay, I can't count them. Or one-night stands or anything else. Unless you want to mention something like that, that's up to you.
Speaker2: Okay. Okay?
Speaker1: But the exes you've had, the ones that you've dated for some time with, okay, that you wanted to use the I love you words with, okay?
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: What was their best and worst sexual traits well i knew you'd do this to me you know it's gonna be like oh come on really we're gonna go there like well i'll go first well here it is i just want to like just set the groundwork after being in the lifestyle anything before it is like are you kidding me i'm saying so you can appreciate more now exactly i want to reflect you have to remember the past if you're going to enjoy the future all right all right because i thought this is gonna be a really bummer show because you know before i met you and i don't want to i don't keep tooting your horn because then i get you know we're not going to talk about me we're not no no no what i mean is like when i can i can't compare those sexual experiences with what we're doing now i'm talking about okay talk about at that time what did you think was so great or not so great about that those people we don't mention names oh okay even though two out of your three are dead that's true that's true uh well you know what with um the one guy that was a photographer, he was actually kind of fun because he was... The pyromaniac one? Yeah, the pyromaniac one. Yeah, I pick guys like, you know... We don't mean he was a Def Leppard fan. No, no. He literally set his apartment on fire. On purpose. On purpose. It was... It's a long story. I don't really want to go into that. That's probably his bed not quite as erotic you know what i think it's like bad his apartment got hot because he set the fucker on fire yeah you got second degree burns oh it was yeah it was it was a train wreck for sure but we i mean sexually we had a lot of fun we would get um you know hotels on friday nights get some beer and i was i was pretty young so i'm not i'm gonna tell you how old i was we're not gonna go there but um thought you were a consenting adult yeah okay that's what i meant to say hey okay he's dead i mean he died a few 20 years ago now already but uh it was it was fun yeah like he was very uh hey I had this you know his station wagon and we called the fuck truck and so i was like hey well let's go back in the woods you know we can fuck my truck you know so we had like a i think we had a mattress back there so that was kind of fun i mean that was you know there's no bugs and mattresses back in the woods no no no it was in his truck oh in his truck we would just drive the truck into the woods so you're off the path. And one time we got busted by the cops. So that wasn't so cool. But we had been littering, you know. It sounds like the making of a porn movie. I know. What are you two doing? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my nightstick's getting hard. I think he was like the first guy I can actually say I loved. I was, you know, so it was. You were younger than you are now. By a year or two. And what about you? What about your before? Well, I lost my virginity at 17 to a married woman that I kind of felt I was dating. Right. We already talked about that bad experience. You know, that was the one that the one and only time i got to screw her right it was in the back seat of a car in a shopping um shopping center parking lot next like one of those clothes donation things oh yeah and again you know i was all excited that she finally decided to oh yeah come on you know you know break the plane and uh you know it wasn't a plane it was a jet and then all she did was make fun of me for it but i would like to smack her right upside her fucking head there was never any sorry i think i gave her oral back then but she never gave me oral i mean that was like the first time anyone had given me an orgasm right right yeah so um yeah back then yeah she was married like i said and she had a big old hairy snatch but you know 17 i was a virgin i'd yeah you're just happy to be playing in the field yeah i get to see it and touch something you know right exactly um but uh yes that wasn't a great experience no that sounds terrible because the sad part was after that not only was did she destroy me at that time but with just the sex part right but then all she did was start tearing me down after that so obviously um oh i have a scam call good so let's hang up on that anyway um so yeah that wasn't good yeah that's pretty awful and then i was alone for three years i don't know i wasn't there yeah about three years yeah i didn't start dating my ex till i was out of high school and i was like 19 so well you had 18 i was maybe 20 yeah but you've had people between the first one and and your ex no no i was a slow starter man and i'm just slow another way wait a minute it was a girl that looked like christie alley that that was after i got with my first really i thought it was like the same time kind of thing like they were like competing for spots in your bed or something actually my ex-wife it was a grocery store i worked at
Speaker2: Thank you. really i thought it was like the same time kind of thing like they were like competing for spots
Speaker1: in your bed or something actually my ex-wife it was a grocery store i worked at right i remember my ex-wife started working there right uh her and i didn't really talk and she actually my my best friend at the time who worked there right he actually um started kind of dating her. Okay. And, you know, so again, I really didn't have any interest in her. Back then it was the 80s and she had the short haircut on the side. Oh, bulldog. You always say, she's got bulldog hair. It was almost like a female, what's the, business in the front. Oh, mullet. A mullet. It was's a female mullet kind of thing it wasn't that bad but yeah i know what you're talking about it was like that it just wasn't no and again it didn't you know i mean i was friendly with her right you know she was dating my buddy and then you know i'd gone to a few parties that you know he would bring her at and he would wander off and drunk and everything else. And one time I drove her home because I said, don't go home with him. He's fucked up. So I drove her home. Nothing ever happened. And then sometime later, I asked her out. She turned me down. And then like a month or two after that, I asked her out again. She turned me down. Okay.
Speaker2: She used to drive past my house all the goddamn time. Right. That should have been a rare flag there. She didn't know.
Speaker1: I was sitting down on the patio at my parents' house, smoking a cigar in the dark.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: And I would see her, you know, she had the old Honda Civic.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Oh, my God. And she'd drive by, like, every hour. Just, like, what the fuck? So then, actually, I was coaching soccer at the time. And she found out that I was coaching soccer. And she got her brother to play soccer, who was at the age group I was coaching, and talked to the people that'd be at the soccer soccer organization had her brother put on my team so she was coming to all the practices right coming to the games and then one day she asked me out so yeah a lot of uh yeah a lot of groundwork laid there shit show from day one but. But anyway, I got two beautiful daughters from it. You know, there you go. I knew there was a rocky road for you.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: Come on. Like the best things, you know, where I was going with the topic, the best things of, like with her sexually, I mean, everything else was a fucking shit show. I know, I know. I didn't mention that already. Was that, to my knowledge, she still does. I don't know. know okay i don't care has had an incredible sex drive it sounds like she still does what the kids sell us it's like no no no dmi dmi i don't want to know but there's always the one aspect with one yeah the one yeah the one main aspect was, you know i'm your average white guy at best and i found out some years later you know it was one of those tough ones you know she'd never had kids prior right right um she had a little more uh room to play in there um and so it was like getting traction sometimes was tough right right you know and again she'd get wet i mean she was very horny i mean right she used to love to suck dick like you get in the car to just go like half a mile down the street she's like i'm gonna suck your dick while we drive it's like okay um i'm thinking concentrate oh i mean And yeah, she, you know you know so um like i said writing on the wall should have been there for me but it wasn't so once i introduced her to swinging ah not only did she discover sex with other people that's the first guy she's ever with right but then she discovered big cocks and she became a size queen she is yeah you like what you like i get that's Thank you. discovered big cocks and she became a size queen she is yeah you like what you like i get that's fine i know i'm not coming down on anybody for that that's you know i mean i you know we all have our quote-unquote fetishes you know i like women six foot tall long legs there, big tits. And I'm not. No. But that was the plus and the minus of it. Right. Plus was she had an incredible sex drive and was half decent. Right. But the downside was she had that sex drive. There's a lot of baggage. I look back at my exes and it's like there's so much baggage that I see now that I should have seen then yeah there's just so much I look back I'm like oh man you know I would never want to go back to that I don't care how good the sex was just there's no. Especially with the last ex, no, absolutely not. He was, he started becoming psycho. He really did. Well, you have one in between the last one and the fire starter. That's true. He was like a farm boy. Too protective, too controlling. Yeah, you were dancing and he wanted you to wear a, yeah. Oh, yeah, he was like, I wish I could dress you in a, he caught a shroud. I was like, oh, my God, really?
Speaker2: Ugh.
Speaker1: Thank you. yeah you were dancing and he wanted you to wear a uh oh yeah he was like i wish i could dress you in a he caught a shroud i was like oh my god really at that point you'd look like cousin it cousin it yeah his long hair really i can pick him i mean he it's not he was a terrible guy and you know he was he's pretty well in doubt i can tell you that now because I compare things but it's not like he really knew what to do with it like I could come on him like but I had to write a certain way yes yes I was his first so he had no experience of the exactly and he was in today's world he was very old being a virgin yes he's in his 20s so there's nothing wrong with that no i just think he just never had the um you know you live in a rural community you don't well yeah out where he was and you don't see that part of pennsylvania don't see women much you know what i'm saying yeah it was i have some children they call me daddy daddy yeah so yeah and then he passed away so i just feel like i'm like the black widow at this point you know yeah that's not good and then the last exit who all these guys were like long-term relationships you know eight, eight years, 10 years, something like that. Yeah. Over 20. Over 20. And I'm still alive, folks. Yeah. He's not like cuckoo either. But the last one, like. A little harder stock. The last guy was fun in the beginning. I mean, actually, I just kept him as a one-night stand because it was a blast. Billy was a blast. I'm sorry. I used his name. Whatever. He's not the only one out's for sure but he was fun he was fun you know we could go places and you know spend the moment with oh let's let's go see a concert let's go this so he had a lot of energy but he was a lot younger than me but as soon as we moved in together or he moved in with me which is probably what ticked him off that it was i was more mature i had the house so he moved in with me and i think that played with his ego quite a bit but the sex was was kind of fun he could not eat pussy to save his life you know i'm working at it shut up i mean he didn't like it he was like afraid of his ewe gets all wet and i'm like what are you 15 gets all wet what are you 12 get your fucking face down there fucking eat me god damn it some oil dry in there first yeah i was like it's like you know it's like crunchies on the ice cream you know it would be like saying or like me saying ew you came and it's all gooey and gross ew it got hard ew it got hard it's like now it's spitting at me who am i having sex with a child he he really was very immature yeah not to imagine he's much younger than me but he's totally immature fun in the beginning should have kept it as a one-night stand that would have been fine and i could have fond memories of that but the whole rest of relationship was a shit show it was like downhill you know train wreck fucking car wreck can't turn away fucking relationship and i just it was a bottle of tnt on a bumpy road yeah yeah i'm talking you know you name it that's what it was i don't want to go into it because i mean i talked about the other one not sexy sorry guys it's just not sexy at all yeah i talked about the other woman i had a relationship with that i worked with right oh yeah a great relationship. Well, it was Kirstie Alley looking. Kirstie Alley. Yeah. He always says she looks like Kirstie Alley. She did then. She doesn't now. It doesn't matter. Kirstie Alley's not alive, so. Oh, that's true. But that's what you look like then. But at the time, you know, with the hairstylist. Right, exactly. She's gorgeous. Yeah, very hot. And I talked about it. We had a phenomenal relationship. I'm sorry. All right. Well, we had that quick little interruption there my daughter stopped by and had to take a quick break but we were at the conversation about the the kirstie alley yeah yeah and i've talked about that before she had a sex drive but wasn't good at sex is that the one that didn't want to touch you at all wouldn't even put her hand on me yeah yeah i would take her hand and put it on top of my crotch on top of my pants and she would pull it off i don't mean in a good way yeah i i tried even the the last ex who couldn't eat pussy i even tried to try and explain to him he was like i just i mean he really like was turned off by it you know and i was like well that's not very sexy now is it you know we've talked about. I bet you if you had a cock, he'd suck the shit out of it. That's all I'm going to say. If you pulled out a big schwanz, man, I bet you he'd suck it so hard. He might be just more comfortable with that. All right, thank you, guys. As much as he fights it, he's gay. Yes, we did. We actually had that discussion that he thought he might be bi be fine i for me i'm like fuck i mean why do i care guys are like that that's fine yeah but he was just so like i don't know very i don't i don't think he knew who he was he had a lot of emotional issues now but with your what desire to eat ass oh see i'm awesome and maybe pegging, you could restore your relationship with him. You sure you don't want to do that? Okay. Well. No, thank you. Okay. I shouldn't do this because this is supposed to be a sexy show and you know exactly you're going to sexual topic okay it's not so sexy this is like when to bash your ex and you just want to do that because it just feels so good and you're evil and nasty but remember when his sister was here we we had his uh his own personal it was like a private facebook page we peeked in on him yeah and this this guy at the time okay this is back i uh nine ninety one you're going for it wait wait a minute nine ninety one so he looked a lot like vetting uh vetting eddie van halen you have more booze and um john cougar mellencamp like a mixture of those two like Back to the 80s John Cooper.ar. The 80s, yeah, the 80s John Cougar. He was cute. He had, you know, nice developed shoulders. He had a nice back, he had a nice little body, a tight little butt. Yeah, he was a tree climber. He was a cute-looking kid. I say kid because I was quite a bit older than him. Nine years is older. Yeah, so he was still a kid. He was 21 was 21 i was 30 but we saw on the facebook page he is he's six foot uh five foot six so he's five foot six by five foot six i mean he's big and round and he picked up people who lost their hair and he's damn your ball oh no he i remember him saying something like why would you want to be with vince you know why would you want to be a fat fuck with a fat fuck like that and i was like who, who's the fat fuck now, motherfucker? Yeah. It's like, that was karma. I've lost weight since then, and he's gained it. He's gained it. Oh, my God. He looks like he is 20 years older than me. I mean, the hair is gray. It's like, if I saw him on the street, I would not recognize him. So, you know, I know it's a horrible thing to do with your exes but sometimes it just feels good and karma does come around he was just a nasty mean despiteful person sometimes and i don't i don't know why so and then one of my one of my last exes um she's not really good at sex she's vertically challenged Ha three i think she you know you know she just wants to eat ass i'm an ass eater no no honey i'm not talking about-to-be-ex. Are we polyamorous and I just don't know about it? We're not even polygonal. No. I don't even know what that means, but no, we're not. It means we're in no shape. No, no shape at all. Even no shape is a shape. I just don't know what shape it is. Okay. I guess. I don't know all right well i think we destroyed i think we beat this went off totally we're trying to beat up on them it worked out that way it worked out a little bit i didn't beat up on mine i didn't no i mine deserve being beat up on they yeah the one is i was a total douche bag douche and bag and for no reason so you know what karma got him i got him. I'm happy. I have a wonderful husband. Could I meet him Monday? Someday, honey. All right, thanks. I'll take you. We'll have a little threesome together. You guys can, you know, spit roast me, whatever. Okay, I was going to say, where are you putting me at? Which end do you want to be at? You're the same person. I don't know how you're going to do that. Clone yourself so you can become a threesome. I hate seeing myself naked.
Speaker2: No, you'd be like, you sexy beast.
Speaker1: You're adorable. No more Austin Powers for you, okay? You're cut off of Austin Powers. No more. You're in a Mike Myers band, okay no more sorry that was fun all right all right honey so hopefully made you think a little bit about some of the good and bad sexual things of some of your exes in my case mostly bad yeah but but that's one of the great things about swinging is you've had you got an experience some bad and some good and a couple great right right but there's no connection yeah there's no hard feelings there's no like you know no visceral like i think back on i get it's like yeah i get sick to my stomach but he was a fucking piece of shit asshole blah blah you know but that's all we know that we only know them's nice. I'm not living with them. It's not like, well, you know, he got my credit card and he ran it up. Yeah, exactly. We're not going to talk about that. We're not going to talk about that. Wasn't me. That's all I can say. Nope. Tell you what, all I can say is I can pick them. And I'm just going to leave it go at that. You got me. You picked me. I didn't pick you. Yeah. So you got better with age i did i got better well that makes me feel better because i thought man i can you know it's like he looks at my ex's and you've even said it's like what the fuck were you doing like you know this one was controlling this one was a drug addict this one was a drug addict and i don't know what the fuck is he want to be gay i don't know what's gonna fuck with them you know we went through i'm like i don't know maybe i had a frontal lobotomy at the time i don't know that's not you needed one you know the weird thing is all three of them were creative either a musician or photographer yes including you artists we'll put it right so that might add to the whole Well, I'm kooky. Yeah, yeah, but you're fun, kooky, and you're still responsible. So that means one quarter of the population is an artist and dateable, is sane. It's like all the other ones. If you could do that kind of statistics, it's like, oh, my God, I went through three guys, and they all were like kuckoo. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was me. I know, I know. Yeah, I do my cuckoo moments but i mean they were off the deep how's the show going it's going good all right i'm i'm out of here i'm jumping in the pool i don't care anymore all right hey thanks everyone for listening uh hopefully the show is a little entertaining for you a little uh something to think about you know think about your exes you know again and uh again not trying to trash anybody but it worked out um but uh you You know, think about your exes, you know, again. And, again, not trying to trash anybody, but it worked out. But, you know, think about some of your exes. What was their good points or bad points of sex? Obviously, that wasn't the reason you stayed with them, hopefully.
Speaker2: Oop. Anyway.
Speaker1: All right, thanks all.
Speaker2: All right, have a great night, everybody.