The Perfect Gift: Turning Thoughtfulness Into Passion

Transcript

Speaker1: This program contains strong sexual content. No one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download this podcast in any manner. The host, guest, and performers are all over the age of 18. Rebroadcasting the podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the Hot Wife podcast. The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of Hot Wife podcast. podcast owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice. Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot White Podcast. Of course, I'm here with the ever-wonderful Vince. Ever-wonderful. Okay. Well, I said a wonder. That's wonderful. My wonderful husband. I made you a nice dinner, that's why. Oh, yeah, you did. The man can cook. Yeah. In and out of the bedroom. Mostly out of the bedroom. Well, mostly. Yeah. Good eating. Well, it's starting to warm up a little bit. And we have heat in the studio, but we're not in there yet. No, not yet. Because it's too goddamn lazy to take the equipment back down and set it up. That's a whole other can of work. The next show, we will be broadcasting from our studio. But yeah, after three weeks or so, they finally got propane to us. Yeah, it's better late than never, right? Yeah. That's good. I mean, I'm happy with that. I'm not seeing my breath in there now. Yeah, I know. It's warming up a little outside. Yay. Hopefully that'll keep going. I'm hoping. My bones are just not like in this cold weather. Not sexy in the cold. Look, I have 7,000 layers on. Again, one reach out to us, info at hotwifepodcast.com. Love to hear from you. Ideas, questions, comments, suggestions, topics, whatever. Et cetera. So I'd love to hear from you. And thank you for all the listeners. We're always scratching our head at the numbers. So we appreciate that. I don't think I would ever guess that many people want to listen to what we had to say. Yeah, it's crazy. So a listener, our buddy Wayne, reached out to us, you know, actually me. and says, hey, I have a topic. Now, he did this before Valentine's Day. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. And he actually says, how about a show topic about gift ideas? What are the perfect gift ideas? So are these for like vanilla people or swinger people? Well, people in lifestyle. I would imagine. It might be across the board, you know, for your significant other. So since Valentine's Day is paid. Yes, well, we're going to talk about that at home. But since Valentine's Day has passed, we're going to give concepts for whatever the occasion. So, okay, you start out. This is your podcast. Well, the way we have celebrated Valentine's Day is a little bit different than most people, I would say. It has been a tradition that I get to go on a hot date on Valentine's Day. Wednesday. Yeah. And I have a playmate. We go out to dinner. We have a nice... A single playmate. A single playmate. Well, that's the stipulation. Somebody who doesn't have a significant other. Yeah. That's in the lifestyle. Exactly. Whatever. Yeah, I guess that's the only stipulation. Well, you didn't say that. I mean, if somebody's married, it's like, hey, I'm going to take you away from your wife and, you know, I mean, that might happen, but... Well, they're taking me away from you. Yeah, but I'm not significant. You tell me all the time. Okay, yeah, I would say 100% of the time that they're single. So we go on a date, and then we go back to their place or my place, and we have some fun. So that's how we've been celebrating Valentine's Day, which is totally different than what most people celebrate, I would imagine. But again, with us, it's a matter of you get to go have fun, which is arousing for you, arousing for them, I hope. Yeah, I hope. If not, then it's, you know. And you and I, you know, we have our fun afterwards and you tell me about the fun you had. Yeah, yeah. So it's, you know, a multi-tiered level. It's not necessarily a gift, but it could be considered a gift. I would consider it a gift. In fact, I have a hot date planned for tomorrow. Yeah. So, I mean, I should not have said that every time I say it on air, it ends up, it crashes and burns miserably. You know, something happens and it doesn't happen. This one has been canceled two or three times because of snow. I have to check the weather. They call for snow? You know what? I reached out to him. He's like, yeah, I'll pick you up at 1130. We'll have lunch. We'll come back. Blah. Lots of blah. That's what I'm talking about. I've got to put some covers down and some tarps down for the blah. Lots of blah going on. What was the other one you had? You had two. I like to get sex toys. Okay. For Valentine's Day. See, these are like not for like the faint of heart. You know, forget about the flowers and the chocolate. Oh, snore. Boring. It's okay. They're fun. I would appreciate it. Most men would probably just get a tattoo on the chest that says sex toy. Well, see, there you go. There you go. I got you a sex toy for your birthday. Here I am. Here I am. Yeah, I mean, that's what I would like, you know, a new shiny butt plug or vibrating anal beads. I got you that butt plug that vibrates and spins, and you've not yet... Yes, I have. Yes, we used it on air. Yeah, on air, but you haven't used it otherwise. No, it has to be like a certain occasion. A special occasion to bring out the vibrating, rotating butt plug? Well, yeah, it's not like a... I'm waiting for the family reunion. That's an occasion. And Jane, look at this. Woo! I have the same one. Yeah, that wouldn't be right. Mine's bigger. Never mind. It's attached to a black and decker power drill. Yeah, that one is like, that's a special one. Like the other ones, the jeweled ones, they're a little more discreet. They just kind of slide in. That's just a butt plug. They're just a butt plug. It's not a vibrating, gyrating, you know, plays Yankee doodle, you know. I couldn't afford that one. I couldn't afford that one. That one was out of my range. No, that was fun. I thought it was kind of fun. I would definitely use that. But I would want that more for playtime that's aimed more for anal play. When is your play not aimed for anal play? Well, there are some times I just want to be teased down there. Oh, wait. It's the 11th of the month. No anal today. No, you know, you have to prep for these things. Number one, you have to be in the right mindset, you know. Not all occasions call for anal play. In my world, you're just smiling. Well, let me go do it. Give myself an enema. I'm going to a bake sale. You never know. You never know. Anal play is going to happen at the church bake sale. Well, there you go. I want to be clean. I like things to, you know. There's prep involved. I'm saying, you know, you just can't go and just do it, necessarily. I mean, there could be some... There are people who do. Yeah, there are people that do. I have done that. It didn't end badly, but I prefer... You're walking an edge. You're walking an edge, yeah. You're not setting yourself up for 100% success. It depends on that person's demeanor. Before we do this, how do you feel about shit on your dick? Are you offended by... Shit on your dick? A turn stuck to your dick eye? Would you mind corn in your dick eye? No? Okay. Then let's go. Well, that's certainly more things to think about. But there's more prep involved. I'm honest about it. Do you like Hershey Kisses? Yeah, let's just start with that. Would you like one on the end of your cock? No? All right. Well, then we're not messing around. I did not prep. Yeah, I'm funny that way. So would like a six-pack of animas be a good gift for a woman? Or a man. Or a man, depending. That's true. Actually, I would be very good with that. Oh, you're thinking of me. Oh, look. Oh, honey, a six-pack of animas. Oh. I can see that. It's a family Christmas gathering. It's all wrapped up. You got me six animas. Oh, honey. And then, you know, like the parents, oh, honey, our daughter's doing anal. I'm so proud of her. So proud. She's graduated to the next level. You're just like your mother. Or worse yet, you're just like your father. What? That's not good. That's not good at all. Oh, you're awful. I've been trying to tell your dad he needs to do, he needs enema before. Never mind. Never mind. I'm tired of these toys coming out. I got your dad a black pecker. I mean a black and decker drill. Black pecker. So either he likes to be drilled by a black pecker, you got him a black and decker drill. I got him a black and pecker. What? You got that from his friend Bruce. His best friend Bruce gave him a black and pecker drill. What? Or drilled him with a black and pecker. with this black pecker. What? Never mind. I was looking for a hammer drill. Ooh. So those would be the gifts I think would be fun. Okay. So what do you suggest to somebody that, let's say a man. Right. Says to you, you know, my wife's not that adventurous sexually. She's kind of very vanilla. Ooh. And, you know, she's not. How about a book? Starbucks gift card. Starbucks gift card. A book. I don't know. I'm at a loss here. I would have no idea. A book on how to increase your sex drive? Okay. She may take offense to that, but that might be kind of funny. It would have to be a pop-up. Depends how she responds to pop-ups. Scratch and sift me off the window. Not in my world. Depends what you're sniffing. Well, you know, I like the realism. Again, I do anal. As I say, it's the Ass Eater Scratch and Sniff pop-up book. Woo-hoo! The Ass Eaters. It's like Ass Eaters Anonymous. You open it up and this big ass opens up and it... Oh, I bet you there's a book out there. Of course, now that you let the cat out of the bag. This smells like snozzberries. This smells like ass. The Willy Wonka things you didn't see. Behind the scenes. The scenes they deleted. Someone scratched their swamp ass and rubbed it on the thing. The girl goes up and smells like. This smells like. Anyway. That's not sexy. Sorry. It is funny, though. It is funny. Okay, what would you get somebody in the vanilla world? Let's turn the table on you, mister. A woman? I, yeah. What would I buy a woman? In the vanilla world. Besides a book and a gift card at Starbucks. Well, yeah. I mean, sex toys, I think, are great. As long as they're, Some women are embarrassed to use sex toys. Yes. I don't know anybody like that. Actually, I do. I'm only kidding. Most people I know are using them. There are people that still, and we talked about masturbation before, but there are some people that won't admit they masturbate or whatever. That's on them. Fine. But, you know, a woman might not feel comfortable, You worked with girls when you were dancing. They didn't want to use sex toys. Their boyfriends wouldn't let them. That was a whole weird dichotomy there. Can I use that word? It's like here these are girls that are strippers. Check the footnotes. We'll explain what dichotomy is. But here's the thing. These are girls that work in a sexual environment. We weren't sex workers. We didn't have sex with our customers. But we certainly were there to tantalize them and tease them and arouse them. If you did it right. If you did it right. And the owners, I think I've told this story before, that they would, they would, for holidays and stuff, they would come out and they would give us all Christmas. They'd give us like vibrators and stuff. I mean, it was a hoot. It wasn't like they're wrapped up or anything. They're just like, here, vibrators for everybody. And it was like, great. And at the end of the shift, all these girls would come up to me, I don't use these. You want them? I'm like, hell yeah. I come home with like five or six different kinds of dildos, vibrators, whatever. And I'd be like, woohoo, this is fun. So back to the question, what would I suggest? I mean, first of all, it depends on how well you know your significant other. Yeah, that's true. It helps. How does she feel about lingerie? I was thinking lingerie. You sit there and if she's not necessarily opposed to lingerie and let's pretend she's not the over-adventurous with the crotchless panties and whatever. Edible. She might not be into that. She might sweat a lot. It might just melt onto her body. All those edible things are always so sticky. They're a great idea, but they're always sticky. Yeah. No, I'm talking about, you know, get her something a little more classic, a penmore set or something. Is that a teddy? Yeah, teddy thing. It's the shirt and the boy shorts. Oh, there's a camisole and a top pants. Yeah, those things. Those things. Or a sexy slip, you know. Yeah, you know, and I don't even think it has to be something in the sexual realm. I think if you get to know your partner well enough, you know what they like. You should know what they like. You know, it's like, okay, hey, she likes to eat at this restaurant. I'm going to take her out there. And she likes to get clothes or whatever from this store. You know what? Let's pretend like, I mean, you, I could take you to Goodwill, give you five bucks and you're fucking ecstatic, buy a whole new wardrobe. It's true. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying. I'm very frugal. Whatever that store, that Lululemon or whatever. I don't know what that is. They sell leggings and shit. What about, I have no idea. No, it's overpriced spandex pants. Yeah, exactly. Whatever. Take her and say, hey, let's go get you some. I love seeing you in them. There you go. I like seeing you out of them. But whatever. But whatever. You know, I hate to sound like a romantic, but sometimes just spending time with them is more sexy to some women than something you buy. No, that's true. And like, you know, you can attest to this, hopefully. Maybe, maybe not. Like at Christmas, you don't like jewelry. Very little. I have like little earrings, cheap little necklace, belly rings. Goodwill. You know, dead people's jewelry. Yeah, that's what I'm wearing, dead people's jewelry. I'm good with that. And Betsy died and they donated the jewelry and you buy it. And it's fine. It saves me a ton of money. But, you know, go spend time. Take them to the restaurant. They're like, oh, there's my dog pissing me off. Louie? Shut up. Anyway. I was wondering how long. Yeah. I wonder how long it would be before they started barking. Great. Okay. You hear a loud gunshot. Ignore that. But anyway. Take him to a place. Like at Christmas. That's where I was going before I was rudely interrupted by a barking dog. Like at Christmas because we buy what we want throughout the year. Yeah. We don't. Okay. We're at that point. But I buy you things that you use, that you need, that you like. A body lotion. Oh, yeah, I always like that stuff. Stuff like that. Yeah, that stuff's always, always welcomed. Yeah, you know, instead of you going to Goodwill buying the half-empty ones that Aunt Betsy left when she died and they donated. Come on. I get you a brand new one. Oh, I must be special. It even still has a safety seal on it. Wow, dairy dream. Yeah, well, that's what I get you. Now, it might be Walmart brand, but I get it for you. You might. You know, it's supposed to smell like, you know, of roses, but okay, compost pile of roses. It's close enough. Roses is in there. Roses is in there. No, I think for a majority of women, you know, they might have, oh, I want jewelry. I want a tennis brace. I want whatever. It's like, okay, well, whatever. You got to suck a lot more cock for that. Oh my goodness. But no, spending time. Yeah, I agree. With them, being attentive to what they like, what they You know, like I said, it's like, okay, hey, she likes to wear leggings. Okay, let's go to whoever, Lululemon or whatever the fuck that store is. And let me go get her leggings. I don't want to have her model them for me. I want you to try them on. I love seeing them in leggings. I want to see, let's go see. Let's get you some really nice ones. You know, so now you have the time invested with them that they enjoy. And then you have, you know, you're buying them things they want. You know, you're giving them feedback. You're giving them attention. Mm-hmm. All these things add up, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, you're like, hey, I just need five minutes of your time with your mouth on my cock later. Five minutes. That's all I'm asking for is five minutes. I spent five fucking hours with you. I just need five minutes with your mouth on my cock. Once again, men pay for sex. Oh, yeah, back to one of those last shows. But no, in all fairness, I think that's... And if the woman still doesn't respond, then get a girlfriend. There you go. Boyfriend, whatever you want. Whatever you want. Is it cheating if you get a boyfriend? I don't think it's cheating if you have a girlfriend and a boyfriend, but whatever. I'm talking in vanilla world. Oh, in vanilla world? Yeah, definitely. Come on. I ruled that out. Okay, since we've been doing things for men giving gifts to women, What about if women would be giving gifts to men for Valentine's Day? Leave us alone. Well, I did it. You're perfect. I'm perfect. I say I'm going to a cigar shop. You say have fun. Have fun. See you in a couple hours. Yeah, you did that today. So there you go. Yeah. Yeah. No. What would I suggest for a woman to give to a man for a gift? Yeah, in all honesty, a lot of men want time to do their thing, whatever that thing is. You know, if a guy's into sports, get him tickets to a game of some sort. If he's into women, let him, oh, no, never mind. Let him have a girlfriend on the side. Yeah, that's expensive. Oh, that could be, yeah, okay. Well, it'd just be one, it'd be like, you know, my hot dates, they're not lavishing me. Well, we're talking more, we're going to stick with the vanilla concept. What you do in the swinger concept is you could do that and more. Right, right. More than likely, yes. Maybe in the swinger world, maybe you know that, you know, he likes playing with this one individual. So you set up a hot date for him and surprise him. And you could do that, the husband could do that for the wife, too, who we started talking about. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's like, hey, you know, You know, I know it's your birthday, and I know you enjoy playing with Bubba over here. And I said, Bubba's going to take you out for a nice dinner, and then, you know, knock the bottom out of you, you know. Yeah, he's going to make you a cream-filled donut, you know. So. I think it's a win-win there. Hopefully. Well, that's what everybody would want. Yeah, I mean, I agree. You know, because then after the wife gets done, playing with Bubba or whoever, she's going to come home to her husband. Then there's reciprocal benefits there, hopefully. Well, hopefully. Yeah, depending on what they're into. Material things, I think, again, if you're going to get into materialistic things, I think you have to really, really consider what does my partner enjoy? Not what they want. What did he do? Go buy my mom a vacuum cleaner. See, I would be, yeah. Oh, that went over like a fart in church. My mom's, oh, thanks. My gift is something to help me do more housework. Right. Thank you. It's like, yeah. Although I'd be very excited if you got me like a new drill or something, like a new Ryobi drill. We got enough fucking drills. I know, but it's something like that is what I said. Something like that. I'd be cool with that. Okay. You're sick. I know. I am. But that's not a gift. That's something we need. A gift is something outside of what you need. I guess you're right. A gift is something for that person to enjoy. What I wouldn't enjoy. I would not enjoy a drill. Well, it depends what you do with that drill. What you put on the end of that drill. That's up to you. I might really enjoy that. You may. But, you know, That's why I buy you the thing of body lotions. It's something you enjoy. And then you come to bed smelling nice and I get disappointed when you shoot me down. Or you end up kissing my shoulder and you're like, it smells good, but it doesn't taste so great. They need to change that recipe. Make it smell and taste good. There you go. Edible lotion. I'm sure they have it. It's sticky. Yeah. So, okay. So, okay. So, give should be something a little more intimate about what the person enjoy and personal. Yeah. You know, it should reflect, I think, how well do you know this person? You know, what does this person enjoy? What is important to this person? What, what brings a smile to their face. And the answer is no, my cock. Let's pretend that's one of them. That's not a gift. Well, here's something you did for me. It was kind of a gift. I don't think it was Valentine's Day. It might have just been just a nice gesture. Remember when you made a, this is back when CDs were big. Remember you made a CD of all the songs that reminded you of me? Sure. And you had them all in this little. Mixtapes. It was like a, it was a mixed CD. is what it was, which is kind of, you know, it's very personal. It's like songs that we, you know, both enjoy that reminded each other of the other or songs that said something you wanted it to say. Godsmack, I fucking hate you. Yeah, well, that was definitely one of them, yes. Yes, that was one. Dirty little slut. I don't think that was on there. I don't think it was like porn star dancing. He smelled pig's feet. He smelled pig's feet. I don't remember that song being on there. I'll add it. I'm sure you will. But something like that, it doesn't, it takes a little bit of time, but it doesn't take a lot of money necessarily. And it's something that's very special that you can give to your significant other. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money. No, no. I mean, it's sort of like I've told my daughters, you know, it's like, I don't expect you to spend a certain amount of money on me for anything. I don't ask you for any money. Right, right. Write me a letter and tell me, handwritten letters, Don't type it. No AI. Write me a letter. Handwrite me a letter. Tell me how you feel about me. That means more to me than anything you could buy me. Now, I know when you write it, it's like, you fucking bastard. I never said it to your face. No. But you've written it down. Well, yeah, but I never said it to your face. You've ruined my fucking life. You've ruined my fucking life. I would never say that either. To my face. To your face. We're just joking, folks. We're just joking. Some people get that our banter is, you know. Playful. It's playful. We've, as long as we've known each other, which we were business partners for years, and there was never anything between us, that we always had this banter. It's what I do. Yeah. You started it. Yeah. You started it. Yeah. If. Yes, you did. You'll be able to tell when my banter changes to anger, then you know I'm mad, you know. Usually, yeah. Yeah, but very rarely have you ever heard that. Very rarely. You better shoot them. What an ass. Thank you. I've been working on it. It's a show. Oh, it's really tight. Your glutes. Ooh, baby. They almost, there's almost a slight curve in the back of my leg now. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Oh, there you go. It's almost like a half an ass. Almost. Almost. Well, at least you can see where there one used to be. Used to be. I don't know what happened to it. That's a whole nother show. Where do men's asses go? I don't think we'll ever know. Maybe I get a government grant. Anyway, so, yeah, so I think to sum it up, tell me if I'm wrong, you have to really try to be in tune to your partner. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Make it something about them, something, you know, something personal, something that, you know, everybody falls on the same, you know, flowers and candy, especially for Valentine's Day. It's an easy go-to. That's no effort. Yeah, that's no effort. Make it personal, man. Make it about them. You know, like I said, a letter. Penis-shaped chocolates. There you go. I told you I didn't want them anymore. I'll get you like chocolate boobs. Especially the cream-filled ones. That would be great. I really resented you got me the dark chocolate ones. Well, they were bigger. Yeah, but it was one in a box. There was like thirty of them. But the dark chocolate ones. The same box. I don't know what to tell you. Cream filled dark chocolate penis. That would be fun. Great. There goes another one of my ideas. I know. Right out the window. Some company is going to steal it. We're out of money. We're out of money. There you go. Put some thought into what the person means to you. How much you really know about them. I think that says a lot too. When your partner can see, it's like, wow, I didn't know you noticed that about me. It doesn't have to require a dollar figure. You know? No, it really doesn't. It really doesn't. It could be. A personal handwritten letter. I'd be surprised how much that might do if you actually tell them how much it's meant for them to be in your life, how they've ruined your life. You know, how suicide is contemplated every day. This is what happened. A guy writes a really nice, heartfelt letter to a woman, and she reads, oh, that's really nice. Now, where's my gift? Yeah, well, that tells you where you are in your relationship. Yeah. It's like, okay, I don't mean anything to you. Yep, but, you know, where's my bracelet? I want a jewelry. And the last line of that paper that she didn't read, she read, I got you a diamond tennis bracelet, but I gave it to my girlfriend. Oh, ouch. I traded in and bought myself a new AR-15. Something we can really use. Yeah. And really enjoy. To shut you up. There you go. Anyway, again, so when it comes to gift time, you know, put some thought into it, man. There was one gift you got me. Again, this wasn't for anything special. Do you remember a particular, it was a coffee mug or a tumbler traveling. Do you remember? I should have read the whole thing. Yeah, it was something it was it went like, you know, I wish I could have spent more time with you. And I wish you could see me through, see you through my eyes and how beautiful you really are to me and how special you are. And I was like, I'm reading it through and I'm crying. Oh, my God, that's so beautiful. I couldn't even finish it. But the next day, I decided to read it again. And I got through and at the end of it, and it says, if there was any other if I was ever married to another wife, I'd punch her in the face. and go find you. And I was like, oh, oh, that's like perfect. It was like, that's so you. That was the ironic part is I got like halfway through when I read it on the ad. It's like, oh, that kind of says what I want. So I didn't feel I had to read the rest. So I ordered it and it showed up. Well, first of all, you ordered it on your phone. So it had the wrong, wrong anniversary date because he hit a 10 instead of an 11. So you have us married like, yeah, Yeah, we were married November 1st. Yes. But the mug came in 10-1. Oh, okay. The year was right, but the month was wrong. When you have big hands and a small phone. That's what even made it funnier. Here's another tip. Proofread before you hit submit. Make sure you get the right date. Somebody might not... I don't claim to be the sharpest type in the box. I thought it was funny. I prove it over and over again. It was funny. I was like, look, the date's even wrong. This is perfect. Oh, honey. Info at hotwifepodcast.com. And check out the free magazine, 50shadesofpleasure.com. The new one will be out before you know it. And you want to see who, what, where, and what Donna is doing? Hothusbandpodcast.com. That does not exist. Now it's hotwifedonnalyn.com. That's the all my links page, all the different platforms I'm on, and what I'm doing, who I'm doing, and everything in between. Yeah, and if you go to hotwifepodcast.com, you have the ability, if you want, it costs you $4.99 a month to subscribe to our supporters page, which what that'll do is give you access to our podcast without any commercials. So if that's something of interest, or you just want to throw us a couple bucks because you're If not, not a big deal either. We'll just keep having fun. We enjoy everybody that keeps listening. We keep scratching our head. Our numbers keep growing. So thank all of you. So with that, I'm going to tell you to stay horny. And have a good night, everybody. Let's turn it up.