The Mystery Man Who Ghosted Us

Transcript

Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now, let's heat things up. I'm here, of course, with my ever-wonderful husband, Vince. Of course. Here we go again with the wonderful husband. I've got to find another word for you. Astounding. You have a bunch of words for me. They're never flattering. The one you could bring up right now, the word would be stupid or clumsy. We had some technical issues. Yeah, the technical issue is I was drunk. This is yesterday. We recorded a show, and then I misplaced the chip with the show. You were sitting right where you were, and you said, I'm going to go upload this right now. And I'm like, okay. I fucked up. Unlike you, I fucked up. Yeah, okay. I just didn't have a special interest. I know I don't shit rose petals like you do. Yes, I do. Rose petals in a compost pile. Well, if that were true, that my ass smelled like rose petals from a compost pile, I would not have gotten my ass eaten yesterday. But that's a whole other topic, isn't it? Well, I guess we're going to go there, right? Yes, we are going. We're going. Right there, mister. My shit don't smell that bad. Let's get back up. We talked about the mystery man thing. Yes. That was the last show we talked about. That was supposed to happen Saturday. That was supposed to be like a birthday present for me. In previous shows, we've talked about the phenomena, not a good phenomenon, of ghosting. We had texted back and forth with this guy, or I did, and he was all, oh my god, I'm nervous. I'm going to get to be with her. And he's supposed to be here 7 o'clock on Saturday. You confirmed that morning because you said, hey, what do you like to drink? So you can go from there. But he reached out to you. 7 o'clock comes that night? No mystery man. 7.15? No mystery man. 7.30? No mystery man. 7.45? No mystery man. And I just told him, guess you're not coming. Have a good night. Wow. So, He ghosted us. He stood us up. So you spend good money to buy a profile on a website just so you can try to get laid. But then when you get the opportunity to get laid, you don't show up. Yeah, I'm going to show them. I'm not going to show up. I'm going to talk dirty. And I'm going to say this and that. And I'm going to get all fired up. And then I'm going to do something. I'm single. And I'm going to no show. I'm single and I need to get laid. I'm going to show them. I'll teach that married couple. They'll have to have sex together. And we did, so fuck you. Thank you, but go fuck yourself. So for those of you who might do that shit, do us a favor. Do us a favor. Go find a shotgun. Put it in your mouth. Don't give a fuck. No, listen, don't give a fuck. Just don't do it. Don't do it. Why would you do that? It doesn't make any sense. You're on this site to get laid. It is a given. It is a given. You will get laid. It's not like going to your high school dance. You know what I'm saying? So you fuck somebody's night up by making them get ready and everything else to supposedly be with you. Right. And then you decide you're not going to show up. So all that does is just ruins three people's evening. Yeah. You know? I think that's what he was trying to do. And it's like, I don't appreciate that. But he would have had the opportunity to have a good evening. He would have had a good evening. It's a given that I was going to fuck him. Hello? That's what swinging is all about. It was a given. It's a sure thing. You know, like if you're going to your high school dance and it's like I'm going with Rebecca and I don't know. She likes me, but I don't know if I'm going to score. It's kind of an up-down and dating when you're that age. This is a fucking sure thing. A vanilla first date. You don't know. This is a fucking sure thing, folks. Why the fuck would you be like, oh, I want to fuck so bad, but I'm not going to show up. I'll teach them. I'll teach them. I wonder why I can't get laid. What if I showed up? Well, here's the thing. He did reach out. You know, he said a friend died. Oh, a close friend passed away. You couldn't, I get it, I know how that is, but just, I would be the first thing I would do. But he wasn't even, okay, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. So he should have been on the way here. It was like, my last text message with him was like at six o'clock. Right, right. Okay? So he should have been, because he's like 40 minutes away. He should have technically been on his way here. Been on the way. Now, if you find out at that moment that you know you have a commitment, You find out, my God, Joe Bunyak died. Oh, my God, I'm so upset. I guess I can't go to this thing tonight. Well, the proper thing to fucking do is text and say, listen, something came up, a friend died, my ass hurts, whatever the fuck it might be. My ass is itching. Yeah, I can't get my thumb out of my ass, whatever. I was going to be really nasty. I think I'm going to try getting two or three fingers in my ass tonight. I'm not going to come to see you. The sores on my dick are itching. I can't get the weeping to stop. Good, you went there too. Whatever, just the common courtesy. I don't care if it's a lie. We'll figure it out if it's a lie. It's like, but at least you know. So again, it could be maybe the pictures he sent us were bullshit pictures. So he shows up, he could have been, you know, 600 pound, you know, you know, Samoan Eskimo or something. something. And, you know, not the person he said he was. We had, remember that one guy, he claimed he was a doctor. I still don't know if he was or not. It doesn't matter. But he had like this generic picture. And I was like, oh. But he showed up. But he showed up. And it's like, it wasn't the same guy. But it was like, oh, he's still a decent guy. Nice looking guy still. Still a nice looking guy. Still had a big cock. Yeah. It was like, so I don't know why he would use. And he showed up. A fake picture. Because if he is a doctor, he doesn't want. I guess. Whatever. But he was still a good looking guy. I mean, nurses. The doctors and teachers have to be very careful putting their picture out there. Yeah, I guess they have to put up something that's not them necessarily. Or they just blow their face or, you know. Hide it. Yeah. All right. I mean, here's one, just a real quick interjection. Some of the pictures, like the one, the last really nice guy we talked to on the phone over the weekend. Sure. And he was like, oh, I love your pictures, blah. I'm like, buddy, don't get too excited. Some of them are 20. years old, you know? And you're like, oh, I put up some recent ones, so I'm so glad because they can see, you know, this little bit, you know, saggy. A little bit? Yes. Yes, a little bit. Oh. Okay. A lot of it. You know, you have the little. A lot of it? Shut up. You suck so bad. It's like a fisher. Oh, hell of it. All of it. All of it. Thank you. So nice. I feel so special. I feel so special. with you. But I was like, some of those pictures, you know, I look really hot, but I was 40. I wasn't, I wasn't 60 like I am now. Oh, I'm going to be 65. Yeah. I beat you to it. You just keep lying about you. 60, 65. I'm not going to squabble over five years, but 40 years of, you know, 20 years is, there's a gap there. You know, some of those pictures were taken when I was about 42, 43, 46, whatever. 50. 10 years old. Wednesday, when you turn 65, can I officially call you my old lady? And you don't already? Not in public. Oh, well, there you go. Again, I feel so special. I don't want people knowing I'm with you. I feel really special now. Oh, fuck you. You're such an ass. Oh, well. You're my specialist. That's fine. I'm not going to help you steady up your walker. Okay? Oh, my God. I'll make you reach for things over four foot up in the air. You know what? You know what? It really sucks. I'm just thinking about my brother-in-law. I think when he turned 50, we got him our walker. Remember the walker we got him with the horns? It was terrible. Basket. Basket. But he was only 50. He wasn't 65. So I'm surprised I didn't get a walker from somebody. Like my great aunt. Your birthday's not here yet. That's true. But we have steps, so you can't have a walker. Oh, you can use a walker with steps. It's just not so easy. So anyway. Okay. That excitement didn't happen. No, it didn't. It did not happen. It fell flat. Didn't even fall. It didn't show up. Yeah, it just was awful. But Sunday. Yes, I had a hot date with a regular playmate, friend, fuck buddy, whatever you want to call him. And we've been out on hot dates several times. Numerous times. Yeah, numerous times. So he's like, yeah, let's go on a hot date and I'll take you to lunch and I'll come back. And I was like, yeah, We'll set something up on the veranda. We'll have some fun. So... Went out to lunch. Had a great conversation. Had a great meal. Came back. Talked for like an hour on the veranda on the massage table. It was fun. I had a good time. It was wonderful. So... Fuck you, the guy from Saturday Night, Mr. Mystery Man. I had fun on Sunday. So... Did you every which way? Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, we set up the cameras and everything. And it was like... this and that. He wanted to suck my feet. He wanted to do this. I was like, let's do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do. And he did. And he did. There was anal. There was the anal plug. There was 69 vaginal. Every hole you had was filled at some point. Yeah, he had me like try to like lean backwards like over the table so he could like fuck my face. But my neck is too short. I'm not, it's not good for me. It doesn't look good. I can't do that either. Have you tried? I understand. I never get in any position where a dick can go in my mouth. See, that's the first thing. I'm funny that way. I make sure if there's any dicks that are out there that my mouth never gets at that level. I stay up elevated. I stay at my six-foot level. Six-foot level? Not at the three-foot level? No. Mouth does not reach crotch level. in the locker rooms. I stood the fuck up. Nope. I'm not getting poked in the eye by a cock. Nope. Or mouth or nose or ear or whatever. It could bounce and who knows where it could land. No, that was fun. We did a lot of different positions, which was fun. A lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was definitely a good time. So, that made up for the horrible, you know. What was your favorite part? Part of it, though. Oh, let me see here. I wanted to surprise him with the large butt plug, but I'm kind of out of practice. Wait, the way you made that sound is like, hey, I got a butt plug for you. No, no, for me. Not for me. No, it was for me. Oh, no, I'm wearing it. Here's the thing. That's how you brought it. Hey, buddy, bend over. Stick this off your ass. But you never know. Hey, there's some guys that might do it. Turn the camera off, I might do it. How do I do that? Well, here's the thing. I was going to wear it because I was wearing this little summer dress and it's all cute. And I was going to wear the butt plug. Were you wearing underwear? Yes. Oh, I like to match. I had that purple one with the butterfly. It's so cute. I like that. I like that thong. Well, if you go on a hot date, wouldn't you not wear underwear? Well, here I wanted to wear- I mean a bra, I guess, because you need the support. Oh, yeah. God, that would just kill me. No, I wanted to put the butt plug in. I was scared to death. Even with the cute little butterfly thong, or actually G-string, I was afraid the butt plug might fall out. And being metal would make a noise. Oh, my God. Ting. Oh, yeah, it'd be terrible. Waitress comes over, did you drop this, ma'am? Well, he seemed kind of gay, so he might be like, oh, I don't want him. Oh, your waiter? Our waiter was. Also, I'm sorry, thank you, but you're hot. No, the waiter, he was like. He's not gay. Oh, he was definitely, in a fun way. That's fine, right. He doesn't want to be gay. He was definitely fun, very attentive. He was very good. He might have said, hey, I have the same eye. I was just thinking that, and I was like, I'm not going to do that. Did they come in blue, too? Jesus. Oh, my gosh. I just want the pink one. I just want the pink one. But the thing is, he would have been fine with it. But right across the little aisle from us was a very nice family with two girls and they're tweens, like 11, 12, that kind of age, or younger, between 8 and 12, one sister. And I was like, oh, that would not have been good. Do you remember the time we were at the adult bookstore and the guy who worked there was over talking to us? He came over, he was talking to us, and he started talking to us for whatever reason about cock rings. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, my God. And then his cock ring fell off. Well, yes. No, he didn't fall off. He said he was in the mall one time, and he goes, yeah, I was walking in the mall, and my cock ring kind of made its way out of my jeans and fell on the floor. I was like, well, you shouldn't be wearing a cock ring for extended periods of time because you're cutting off the blood flow. Don't you, aren't you supposed to be erect when you have a cock ring? Well, no, actually cock rings, what they do is like as you get an erection, it keeps the blood there to maintain an erection. What I'm saying is the kind he had didn't go like around his nuts and stuff. He's talking about the kind that was just in the early days. This was 10, 15 years ago. Oh, easily. It was just like that metal key ring thing that goes over your dick. Oh, I thought it was one of the rubber ones. No, you put it on when you're limp. Oh, no. You put it on your limp and get hard, and then it chokes off the blood. Yeah, it's just like a metal key. Yeah, yeah. But he probably didn't stay hard because he's walking in the mall, which is what? Yeah, that kind of makes my dick shrivel, too. Oh, you're not walking around with a raging heart on, Deer? Oh, look, Macy's. I'm walking with an erection. New song, I like that. No, it's not a new song. It is new. Well, I mean, it's a nice spinoff. Yeah. Every male sang may walk like an Egyptian into walk with an erection. As long as there's a guy in the 80s who didn't sing that. I definitely didn't sing that. So to me, that would seem kind of new. I did not. Oh, you never heard that one? No. Oh, yeah, no. That was like, I think every guy in the 80s when I came out, he's like, walk with an erection. As it should be. You just didn't want to hear a guy in the fucking locker room sing that. Yeah, that and YMCA. Well, that was out in the 70s. YMCA? Yeah, Village Rebo was 70s, yeah. That was disco 70s. Have you ever gone to a YMCA? It's a whole nother show. Oh, it's your... We went to one, I was with a friend of mine, like a fuck buddy. I never told you this, I just remembered it now. We were in a YMCA, and they're open to the public, and you could use the bathrooms. So we both went into the bathroom at the same time. And of course, we were messing around in the bathroom, and the lady came down. Now this is you and a guy? Yeah, me and a guy. I don't know. She was like, yeah, I could have gone either way with me. You get out of there, blah. We're trying to tell you, no, we were just peeing. We just wanted to talk. And she's like, get the fuck out. Yeah, we were just talking while we were It's peeing. It's multitasking. We'll have to do a whole show on YMCA experiences. That's it. That's my only one. Oh, no, I got a bunch. Oh, I'm sure you do. Okay, then you hold on to that. That's a whole other show. You can definitely hold on. Not a good show. Not a good show. Bad memories. I have to go back to therapy now. I'm sure you do. So, I mean, I got a great weekend even though things were, you know, kind of. Yeah, well, now you got to start setting something up for next weekend. The New Young Guy, he's the following weekend. Oh, he's the following weekend. Oh, my God. Do I have a book? Do I have like a calendar? No, not yet. I'm just saying, you know, you have to talk about some different people you want to reach out to. Yeah, I thought we did. I thought I talked about a couple guys to... Well, there's a new guy that you could arrange something with. Kind of fun. You know, that you talk to and send him a picture yesterday. Yep. And then you still have some of the older ones you want to catch up with that... Yeah, I've been promising... One gentleman, because his birthday is really close to mine. I didn't know that, but I do now. He's like, oh, you know, my birthday is next week. I'm like, yes, it's mine. Oh, we got to do something. And I'm like, I was thinking I had like, I thought the young guy was going to be this Sunday. So I was like, oh, I don't know. He texted late yesterday and said, because it's his birthday weekend. And he doesn't want to get laid on his birthday. You know, sometimes family makes plans. Yeah, they sure do, don't they? You know, I mean, he's younger. He's early 20, so mom wants him over to, you know. Oh, honey, there's a birthday cake on your birthday. And he's like, I'm going to go eat some pie, mom. I don't want cake, I want pie. Yeah. Yeah, so, well, see what happens. I mean, that was a lot of fun. Yeah, I think I'm getting back in the groove again. I think you are. You know, because it was like, you've been fired up. Like, nonstop. I enjoy it. I'll tell you that. Oh, yeah, I get it. You know. We talk about a lot, you know, as we're doing our thing, so. Mm-hmm. Yep. And, yeah, so, you know, you have to see what you can pull together for next weekend. I'll see what I can pull. Mm-hmm. That might be, like, that weekend, not tomorrow. I'll be pulling something for sure over the weekend. Yeah, well, whatever. So, all right, well, this is going to be a short show. It's going to be 20 minutes. I think the drunk show was a little longer there, mister. Oh, my God. We'll be fine. We have to put it up anyway. It was very funny. You're so inebriated. Yes, we must have an alcohol problem, I'm thinking. Oh, no, I don't have a problem. I drink it very easily. That's not a problem. That's not a problem. It's functioning after I drink. Drinking isn't the problem, it's the functioning. I started drinking early, too, because we went on a hot day and I had a beer then, but you started drinking bourbon. Yeah, I'm drinking 100-proof bourbon. Yeah, I had like one Guinness. Yeah. And I'm drinking 100 proof bourbon on a warm day. Why don't you just switch the beer, dummy dummy? Because for my diabetes, that's really bad. The beer is actually worse. I know. I get it. Okay. And I enjoy bourbon more. Okay. I'm just trying to save your brain cells. It's a total loss. The pancreas is what you're more concerned with. I understand that. That is pretty shot, yeah. That's true. So you're embracing the hot wife thing more and more. Yeah, my shoulder's feeling better, you know, so I can do more things. You'd be surprised how much you use your shoulders for. And the right one was getting worse, but today I got my cortisone shot, so I will be in the next two or three days, knock on wood, pain-free, and it will last two full months. So I will be right astrained for about two months, and then after that it kind of, you know. I hate to say it, but there's a lot of sexual things you use your shoulders, elbows, wrists for. 69ing. Oh, yeah, I did it for a brief time. I could do it for a brief time, but I can't put it, you know. No back flips, no upside down, you know. No trapeze. No trapeze, yeah. I really miss a trapeze. I was getting shot out of a cannon. That's, yeah, I couldn't. I wouldn't do that with good shoulders, so. So anyway, all right. All right, I'll let you go then. Again, check out, you want to see who and what. Oh, yeah, I'm back in the saddle. Yeah, something like that. I want to break out singing, but I won't, I won't do that. Yeah. Back in the saddle. Oh, sorry. Oh, you said you weren't. Do you call that singing? Oh. No, that's what I'm saying. Okay. But, yeah, no, go to hotwifedonnalyn.com. Check that out. See what she's doing. Again, Thank you for coming back to listening to our podcast or not, you know, just nauseating talk. But, you know, so, you know, we'll be doing another show for the, you know, later the week. Probably we'll record that Wednesday or something. Probably go up Thursday. I'm going to get back to putting shows up Mondays and Thursdays. Mondays and Thursdays. Let's just do it. That's what we give you for. Let's do it again. The Monday show, you'll hear about the fun she had all weekend. Oh, yeah. And then Thursday show you'll be hearing more about the fungies planting for the following week. Oh, that sounds nice. I like that. So. Okay. All right. So with everyone, thank you again. Stay horny. Have a great night, everybody.