Swinger Weddings?

Transcript

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hi this is donna lynyn and welcome to my hot wife podcast a candid insight into navigating the complexities of modern romance and the swinger lifestyle hello everybody and that's the new intro you know after 75 takes you think i could have done a better job that was actually two takes taped together i thought it was about 75 we'll have to tweak that a little bit let me or just do it again but i do like the music yeah i like the music a little bit a little more you know a little more upbeat well a little more upbeat than we are you know that's not true we're very upbeat okay yeah just keep drinking you're even more tolerable you don't have to tell me twice okay keep drinking honey i love you more every sip i'll just choke on it oh i just love to see you choke that just don't make that just.

I'll tickle your fancy. I tickled yours last night. Yeah, you did. What's wrong with that? Oh, my God. Well, welcome, everybody. Again, thank you for joining us for another podcast. We don't know why you do, but we're grateful. We're grateful.

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Took a simple plug and made it into a long story,'t you sure so sorry about that so tonight's topic is uh what was tonight's topic we had like a swinger weddings oh swinger weddings that's right we had a bunch of things that were in the mix and yeah yeah we did not have a swinger wedding no for all kinds of reasons no no no no well the the first thing they tell you that we've seen online some people saying is if you're going to have a swinger wedding have two weddings right one for your family and friends that aren't in the lifestyle yep and then maybe have one that is more swinger-friendly.

Right, exactly. Instead of going on a honeymoon, you have another swinger. If you're a nudist, would you invite your family to the nudist camp? Oh, no. Hell no. That's gross. In all fairness, there are some families that practice that. I mean, swingers and nudists are two different things completely.

They do an overlap area but for the most part they're two separate things that's true there's a lot of family friendly nudist uh and the true diehard nudist they have no problem seeing family naked it's not a sexual thing right exactly i i get that i i i have a hard time i don't want to have to have to unsee these things yeah because once you see them you can't unsee them it's like oh ralph was naked oh god he had to lift up his belly no you gotta have seat covers for all this chair. That's just so wrong. I'm sure he's a very lovely person. Oh, great person. But anyway.

But you don't want to see him naked. No. No. As I get older, the list of people I want to see naked is diminishing.

The list of people that you could actually see naked is diminishing oh i make sure i left my reading glasses at home for sure i take a bag full of dog hair and then like rub it near my eyes oh yes your eyes swell yeah i mean so there's always celebrities and sexy people that like oh i just see them naked but like people that you know in your realm or family it's like no no no not even close there are times i don't want to see myself naked come on so well that okay so that we all know what a regular wedding is like okay so what would you do how would what would you see as your swinger wedding if you're going to have a swinger wedding, first of all, would you have a swinger wedding?

Yeah, it would be kind of fun. But they would just, like, end up being, like, a regular party. Like, you know, you come in dressed in, like, something sexy. You start out clothed, because that's always fun. And then, you know, once you say the I do's, I do's or whatever, and, um, you start doing the I don'ts or maybe I will do maybe more I do's. I don't know. I did. Let's do it again. I did it once and I'm going to do it again. So, yeah, I mean, it would be like instead of a reception, you'd have like a gangbang maybe.

Well, you know, the whole dance with the bride you know oh yeah they give money to help the couple well would that be prostitution oh maybe they then mode the money getting paid for sex is getting paid i guess you're right yeah i don't know the white she'd be wearing isn't clothing oh well that's's true. It would not be clothing. That wouldn't be a veil of lace. It'd be a veil of semen. So what would you do for something borrowed, something blue? Would the blue be balls, maybe? You're borrowing some woman's husband. There you go. So that's something borrowed.

And you're taking a guy who hasn't had sex in a while and getting rid of his blue balls. So that's blue. Okay. Something old, something new. Something borrowed. Something borrowed, something blue. Yeah. Here's a new guy I've never fucked. And here's an old guy I've fucked a lot of times. That's terrible. We can defile anything that's sacred. Or not so sacred. Yeah. But you'd have to have a residence, I'm guessing, big enough to do this. You're not going to go to a catering facility or a fire hall here in Pennsylvania. It would just end up being kind of like a house party.

You'd have food there and stuff like that.

And then like then like how big a how big a wedding would you have if it was a swinger wedding well how many how many couples slash people would you invite to a i think i like a um a manageable amount so maybe eight couples so 16 people that's very manageable you know long i'm just yeah when you go into the hundreds it's like oh yeah i don't know that many people swingers yeah i i think of course we started inviting just all your single guys oh yeah with y'all single guys be a sausage fest that's not fun i'd have to have bridesmaids to help me well now there's an interesting aspect what's that to get bridesmaids man that would just be like a regular man now it's getting a little more interesting yeah you'd have to have swinger bridesmaids right i i guess oh everybody who'd be there would have to be oh absolutely lifestyle oh my god you know i'm sitting on something okay my cord is don't do that but um yeah i mean so that that could be interesting you don't want a bunch you'd have to have some single guys absolutely but otherwise you'd have the same thing they have at house parties the best man be the guy who's hung the best whatever you consider the best well i would have to take your decision into mine because I have nothing to do with it.

Yeah. Because the person who'd be my best man normally wouldn't be allowed to come to that wedding. Yeah, his wife would not let him come any way you want to spell that. Yeah, he couldn't show up or come. That's true. That's true. So it would have to be somebody else. Because then the next party you'd be having is a divorce party. Well, then it'd be the same thing. Do you want it to become a swinger divorce party? Well, but you know what I'm saying? Do you want the, you know, the best man to, you know. Be the best man. Yeah.

Well, it depends on who to find best he does have they had the biggest be one of your both be one like what would be your favorite yeah i guess that's what it would be like my favorite playmate maybe no pun intended you'd have to have a lot of input with who the best man would be oh would i now or a lot of put in well same thing you could have input about the input oh wow this is getting a little out of hand already yeah that makes sense okay so the best man would be like one of my favorite playmates okay we got that that would make sense yeah it makes sense to me i mean obviously i'd like the guy too you know but not in the same way of course not so what if the maid or matron of honor be somebody you would like to play with or like one of your favorites is that something like that i would see that yeah i could see that too i think that'd be a twist on it is that i get to pick the maid or matron of honor right you get to pick the best man exactly oh that'd be fun you can even get to i get to pick your bridal party oh there, there you go.

And you get to pick my bridal party. Oh, the groomsmen. Yeah. Oh. We'd have to change names. They wouldn't be groomsmen anymore. It's not a public event, dear. I know. Would you still want to call them groomsmen? Would you still call them men? You don't call them groomsmen by name. You just sit there like any Bob, any Joe, any Sam or whatever. Yeah, I know. I know that. But when they say that they're in that that group that they're considered groomsmen. Well, if they're wearing a bow tie. That's it, just a bow tie. Just get a white collar and a bow tie? A bow tie.

Just like the Chippendales, you know? Yeah, a bow tie could be around their dick, too. No, I like the bow tie up there. I think it looks kind of classy. So what would the girls wear? They just wear like a choker or something? Like a lace choker, not like a BDSM choker or a dog. I think the girls could get away with a lot more sexy, like a boosty. Oh, like a corset? Corset or something, you know? No panties. Yeah, just the corset. Oh, that'd be nice. I like that. I. I do like a little bit of clothing. Because again, girls have to be supported sometimes. Well, it depends.

If it is a waist cincher, there's no support. If it is a bustier, then sometimes there's a little more support. Yeah. But yeah, that might be kind of fun. You talk about with your implants, it's heavy. They're heavy. Yeah, you don't want to.

Having a little bit of support for the few hours of this wedding oh you know what might be kind of cool and i do like the corset idea i really do but for people that have larger breasts you don't be having them you know hanging around sure i have um that little bra thing it's it has like a little bit underneath but all the rest of the bra part is just straps oh so you have some have some demi-bra it's less than a demi-bra demi-bra would be like twice as much fabric this is just a little bit of thing on the bottom just to give you a little bit of support and underwire and then the rest of it that goes around the bra is just a just like a piece of elastic for all intents and purposes yeah and that's it's kind of like i'm drawing it like on my boobs so it kind of goes over your boobs and then it goes up into a strap and then it goes around your boobs like you're really dragging us out well it's cool it's very sexy and your breasts are still exposed sure so that'd be kind of cool that's fine yeah i do like a little bit of clothing again you get the right corset you know it doesn't have to cover the boobs it could just support them from underneath so that's called a waist cincher that's a little different i'm sorry i don't wear those yeah they're waist yeah some went above someone actually covered your whole breast some would like slightly below oh shut up it depends on how much breast you want hanging out you're keeping this interesting oh shut up there's there's a difference how much breast you want hanging out here mister depends how much they have oh god there's just no talking to you sometimes.

But you do anyway. That's my have. Oh, God. There's just no talking to you sometimes. But you do anyway. That's my mistake. So, yeah. So then, yeah. Hmm. That would be interesting. That would be fun. That would be kind of fun. I do find clothing, just a little bit of clothing very titillating. And, like, you could have a bunch of air mattresses or whatever all around the room, and that's symbolizing, like, the table. So a couple could be at a table, and, you know, we have to all around the room and that's symbolizing the table.

So a couple could be at a table and we have to go around and thank everyone. So we go over and just join that couple for a few minutes. And you join that couple. We kind of like pass ourselves around. We want to thank you guys for showing up. Well, let me just suck on your dick for a little bit. Eat your pussy for a minute. Okay, see ya. Where's Vince?

He's over at the bar bar is that where the ladies are all lined up dancing on it they're dancing on it i i thought maybe you okay so the buffet is when they're sitting there so then afterwards after all the wedding right you go to a hotel room before your you know honeymoon and you're like i'm fucked out yeah i'm fucked up no we're not doing a honeymoon i think it's definitely something that the bride would get more fun out of than the groom because again how many times can you pop oh i could go over how many times you potentially could pop right exactly exactly and i'll use our scenario okay i'm only going to be with the women you get to play with everybody i know i am such a slut my door swings both ways it's like when there's there's no doors it's just a doorway no i have a door i it's but it's those ones you know those ones you like have to walk through and you there's like a big circle kind of a turnstile that of thing it's more like that it's not really a door it's a turnstile you know go in there take your number are you jealous no no i don't want to get married again i'm just thinking of like uh you know who's on the bar we're doing you know pouring liquor down yeah that'd be kind of fun i haven't done a body shot in like forever there's not too many shots i really enjoy so you know it would have to be something about the liquor no well it is about the liquor come on don't even go there about there.

It is about licking her, not about the liquor. Yep, it is. It's about the licky. Okay, the licky definitely has something to do with it, okay. Yeah, that'd be a, wow. That'd be kind of fun. That'd be an erotic time. Mm-hmm, it would be. And it would have to be like people that are very, that meld well together, that play well together, you know? Sure.

It would have to be like a close-knit group of people that nobody's going to be like offended the party we go to occasionally something like that yeah that group of people that everyone's remotely friends yeah yeah and everyone gets along and accepts everyone and yeah that something like that kind of environment i think would be great that'd be a lot of fun yeah if we got married again that's probably what we'd do that'd be kind of fun no no no we could we could if we wanted to which i i can't see why we would or it doesn't matter you know if we wanted to renew our vows it's like really oh we can have different vows now remember the ones we read at the at the we got married and just as a piece and it was like you know the you here this is what you're gonna read like we didn't even come up with our own vows we were just like come on let's get the fuck over we got i need insurance i need insurance i need it bad here say this but i do but i do okay let's go that was it it's like i don't even know what we said it could have been like i couldn't tell you whatever needs to be said to keep it legal that's all but yeah we could make up like new ones we pretend to be not not in that case there was just nothing romantic about it which was fine it was it was fine it was like nothing like getting married in a courtroom nothing like it's like when our marriage ends we'll be in a courtroom again it's not gonna end shut up well the thing is with with our wedding you yeah a funeral par is more like it that's definitely more like it you had your clothes and you brought it out of the car and you're like fuck i got a green jacket i have blue pants you're like well i can't wear these it's like when the bedroom you said they looked it looked blue both don't look blue and then you've seen celebrities like what what color outfit you wearing oh it's pink nope that's green what it's like does this like what depends on your eyes it's like i guess i don't know yeah yeah i was a trendsetter as way before that well so you didn't even wear the jacket you're like i can't wear it in just a shirt and tie that's it it's like fucking just as a piece oh yeah we need so but yeah no that would be a erotic, a swinger wedding.

And then have, like, erotic vows, too. I promise to eat your ass anytime. I did that deliberately. I promise to give you three hours of anal fisting every night. Yeah, see? It would be so much fun. It would be so much fun.

Little jokesters that we are something like that yeah but um yeah no that could be uh you know again the uh what kind of gifts would you give i mean like nothing i'd be the groom well i mean like no what okay obviously it's all gonna be sexual stuff you'd be getting more vibrators oh i know i already have so many oh maybe someone would get me a sibian that might be kind of fun sibian wow yeah i haven't been on one in a long time we have rich friends it depends on what style okay i've always owned that one some of those things are a thousand plus yeah fifteen hundred dollars maybe they all pitch in together or make it one gift but you've always said sibians are too strong well maybe because the guy that was using it remember he was he was kind of a he was kind of a sadist like i'd be like oh this feels really good to be like he'd crank it up i'm like wow he just wanted to see me scream that was it he just wanted to see me be tormented because he would have it like really nice for a bit i'm like okay that's that feels really good and then he's like oh i can't have that can't have you enjoying yourself no no i want you screaming in agony agony yeah that was that was fun that was a good time but yeah it was different really different but something like that i'm not saying that gift in particular but something like that well they'd be obviously would be sexual gifts yeah lingerie or sex toys or or erotic massages or edible bait body paints or that's another section you could have in the wedding is a some massage tables out there and stuff that would be fun yeah that would be a lot of fun what would the dj play who would be listening to the music himself you know he he'd be scratching the records with his dick you know you know he'd kind of like take the records i kind of move him around he'd have his dick and be wiggling on now you're assuming he's got a big dick if he doesn't it would have to be he'd lay on top of the turd and now everything's digital so there's nothing to scratch oh that's true oh it just took all the fun out of it for me damn he'd be playing songs like Dirty Girlfriend yeah yeah all those a lot of Nickelback a lot of Nickelback songs you know porn star dancing that kind of stuff.

Yeah. Swing or wedding could be cool. Yeah, actually could be kind of fun, depending on the circle of friends that you have. And, you know, yeah, that would be kind of fun. If you're not getting married, it'd still be fun. fun yeah so if you think you would ever not that you're going to but you might how do you know tell send us an email hot wife podcast at gmail.com let us know would you ever consider a swinger wedding or have you done a swinger wedding or a nudist wedding a nudist yep we were invited to a swinger wedding once we were yeah remember I'm going to try to describe it.

There was a couple. She had, she was, this has gone back years. She was involved in the cleanup of 9-11. Remember, she had lung issues? Yes. They were supposed to have a swinger wedding. We didn't go because it was like too far. Oh, they wanted to go someplace really far away, wasn't it? Yeah, they were going to the Caribbean or something. Yeah, and I was like, I can't do that. I think they went to hedonism or something. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not. We just didn't have the means. I just didn't have the money for that. I was paying child support at that time. Yeah, you know what? And you know what?

I don't think I'd want to go to a resort because. Leave the mess there. Yeah, but I like a more intimate setting. I don't want to be like. you're not going to the church's fucking uh no no like somebody's house that kind of a setting something that's easy to get to hedonism it's kind of what they do yeah i know i just i don't know i just feel like that's so impersonal yeah whatever you know and i i like but but again you're an exhibitionist so how's that impersonal Oh, yeah, that's true. If I'm going to be having sex with people, I want to be people that I know and I like.

Well, the general public wouldn't be open to it, but they might be able to watch, look in. But it's only going to be guests only. You're not going to have just open to the public and have a whole town.

i hope not we're here to fuck can you imagine so yeah that could be that could be interesting to do in a hedonism or someplace like that you know how the the best man always brings a ring out uh does he yeah the the best man well you have the the ring bearer brings a ring and the best man's supposed to take it and then give it to the groom right so i guess he'd have to have it on his cock and you'd have to take it off of it with my mouth whatever oh yeah it could be like hooked onto a cock ring okay yeah i mean yeah i guess if his as small as your fingers are if his dick fit through your wedding band you might not oh my god yeah we we're gonna take a donation after him get him a cock enlargement yeah so we don't have to be because i've i hate wearing rings anyway so yeah i'm not a person all right we beat this one oh i don't think there's anything well one more question one more question okay you've already done the wedding and so you've already don't need a honeymoon that's what I was just getting at do you need to have a honeymoon maybe just a honeymoon just to recuperate from the wedding do you louse let things drain out you're going to lay on the beach with your crotch in the air at the sun drying out.

Hope your mouth goes back into position. Get your jaw popped back inside. His dick was way too big for my mouth. A dick, Jesus Christ. Well, I have had dicks that are too big for my mouth. Sure. I'm not one of them, but yeah. Yours is comfortable. I'm not stretching my freaking lips out. No. You know, the list...

from my mouth sure i'm not one of them but yeah yours is comfortable okay i'm not you know stretching my freaking lips out yeah you know the last thing i want to do before i have sex with someone with a bigger dick is like okay now i gotta stretch and prepare because you're supposed to be playing with beer can sometime soon right yeah that's one thing i gotta i have to like really stretch that's a good gift Dennis has to open your mouth. Yeah, it's like I have to get my biggest dodo that I have and use it because if I go in there dry without prep or something, it's not going to be pretty.

It still might be fun, but it's not going to be pretty. Beer can-sized dick. It seriously is, and I'm'm a tiny person i was surprised he even fit into any orifice but you know i had to stretch i had to like you know prepare and you know stretch it was like i'm getting ready to the olympics you know i'm doing like you know hamstring curls you know and stretching out the you know the hamstrings and the quadrice yeah it's when you bend your legs the quadriceps. Yeah, it's when you bend your legs back. It's a hamstring curl. That's when you curl your leg back. And then you can stretch them out.

Obviously, I didn't know what that was. I wouldn't imagine. Actually, that would tighten the muscle. But, you know, you know what I mean. I'm stretching. I'm stretching here. I know you're just killing this. Shut up. I don't want to pull a hamstring when I'm having sex with this guy because it could really be bad, really bad. You're pulling a ham hock. I'm doing something, I'm pulling, you know, my mouth muscles might go into spasm and then, I don't know, I'm really in trouble. You missed that visual. You really need to start videotaping this. Nobody wants to see that, come on.

Oh, that was funny just in itself. So, itself so all right again thank you all for listening um don't know why um but you want to reach out to us like i said the questions have you had one would you consider one a swinger wedding let us know uh hot wife podcast at gmail.com again check out donna's stuff at hot wifeonnalyn.com. I'm always posting all the time. And don't forget to check out the 50shadesofpleasure.com free publication. And there's no, you don't enter emails, you don't do anything. Just go and read the article.

So, and again, if you want to contribute something, email us, let us know. So I want to say thank you and we will talk to you later. And have a great night, everybody.