Susan Bratton is a renowned author, speaker, and relationship expert known for her expertise in the fields of intimacy, communication, and sexual wellness. Susan has been involved in the industry for several years, providing guidance and advice to couples seeking to improve their relationships. She has authored books such as The Relationship Magic Workbook, which focuses on cultivating deeper connections in romantic relationships. Susan is also recognized for her work in the field of sexual health and wellness, often addressing topics related to intimacy and maintaining a healthy sex life. Susan has been a speaker at various events and conferences, sharing her insights on communication, love, and intimacy. She is known for her approachable and informative style, making complex topics more accessible to a broad audience.We turned the keys over to her to run the show and we loved every second of it!!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest and performers are all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of the Hot Wife Podcast's owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice.
Hi, this is Donna Lynn and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast, where we discuss all the good the good the bad and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle hello everybody this is donnalyn and welcome to my hot wife podcast of course i'm here with my wonderful husband vince of Of course. Of course. But today we have a very, very special guest who is actually very notable in her field. Her name is Susan Bratton. Am I pronouncing that correctly, Susan? Okay. And she is an intimacy expert to millions and as a champion and advocate for all of those who desire intimacy and passion in their whole life.
She's created hundreds of techniques that transform having sex into making love and is the world's most respected sexual biohacker. I'm not even sure I know what a biohacker is, but I'm going to give that to you. So welcome, Susan, to the show. I'm so glad you were able to come on the show. This is a real, um, we're kind of like a little starstruck because you know, you have so much like real expertise. What was that? Uh, Wayne's world. We're not worthy. We're not worthy. Oh, you sillies. You are more than worthy.
You're doing such great work in the world with your podcast and giving people ideas of how some of the things that you're doing might work for them. You're creating an expansion in the consciousness of our sexual potential. So it's my pleasure to be here and I can enjoy some of your shows. So hello, Donna and Vince. Hello, Susan. Welcome.
As the male part of the show, i have to say for those men that are listening you need to look up susan's name her website and everything else susan bratton b-r-a-t-t-o-n she is incredibly beautiful very sexy so everything like the low plunger she's going to offer up knowledge wise when you put the visual with it you sit there and go, Oh,'m gonna i'm gonna you guys are so sweet thank you so much i love the compliments there who doesn't love them right exactly i agree i agree as we had a small little conversation before we started the podcast and um we're going to do something a little unique with susan today and we're going to a little threesome what's this a virtual threesome i could disappoint long ways away um you can disappoint across the country disappoint through zoom that's pretty good um we're gonna turn it over to susan let her basically run the show today if she has questions so so she can like kind of interview us and talk about what we may or may not be doing uh right or wrong in our lives and in the swinging world and and uh and direct us into uh you know even just you know just don't talk donna into leaving me yet oh i won't vince don't you yeah well thanks for giving me the you know the wheel let me let me drive i'm certainly willing to do that and i love it um my first question for the two of you is that i think it would be helpful for me to ask a couple of questions about your agreements with each other and then i would that will naturally kind of precipitate questions about other types of constructs that couples have in their lives.
I've got some questions about stag vixen, hot wife, the differences between those things.
Are there other things in that category where there's a, a couple, a man and a woman, a male and a female couple who are having, uh, you know know making love with people outside of their relationship what are some of those categories and how do you define them because I do think that they are loose constructs and I think the more that we can show different type and then I can share you know kind of what what I do because I and how what I call myself and i bet there's more similarities than differences even though we use different words to define things and so i'd love to just start with that and then i noticed that donna you were like what is sexual biohacking i don't even know what that is and i think that i'd like to define that for you because um one of the nice things about the two of you is that you're not exactly spring chickens either you know i'm 62 and having the best sex of my life and i feel and i know for a fact through the data and research that the longer that you keep having pleasurable intimacy the longer you live the younger you look and the happier you are and so Oh be two great places to start.
And then maybe from there, there will be other questions that come up. But the third thing that I would also love to know, and you could sprinkle it in would be, what are you into right now that's really turning you on? Because sex is such an evolution. And we, as we mature, our sexuality matures, and it evolves. And the things we used to think were like, I don't know why anybody would do that now are the stuff of our fantasies or our realities.
And so I think that would be an interesting part of the conversation would be just the, the evolution, evolution of a sexually progressive couple as they mature, like what can people hope for? So those are, I think some interesting, juicy topics that would be great to, to talk about. So I'd love to hear the first one, which is essentially, how do you define yourselves and what are your relationship agreements, boundaries, et cetera? Oh, the only hardcore no we have is choking. Well, more importantly, first on a couple end. Oh, safety. It's safety and honesty. Yep, there's no babies.
It's, you know, we're both agreed that we can play alone or together in groups, you know, just like a slinky. Like a slinky. But, you know, again, neither of us would play with somebody that, more her. I'm not, you know, Donna's only 4'11", I'm 6'0". So it's not, I'm not worried about someone, some woman overthrowing me. I pray for that. It's happened once or twice, come on. That's my fantasy, but we're not getting to that yet. Oh, okay.
So, you know, it's always, you know, as as in any relationship especially in the sweden world you know you you want to make sure your your partner is safe um and i'm not talking just from stds i'm talking where stis now as the term goes um you know making sure that uh if she is playing with uh another person um that you know and i'm not there that she's going to be safe and everything else and comfortable.
And if that situation happens where, you know, sometimes you're someplace, something happens that, you know, come home, like, you know, one of the guy, one of our, one of our playmates could stop by while I'm out someplace and she wanted to play, she could play. She don't have to call and tell me. But when I get home, she says, hey, so-and-so stopped by and, you know, played. That's fine. It's an honesty thing for us. Before or after. You know, our relationship, we've been married 20 years. In all honesty, I'm not exaggerating, we really haven't had any fights.
We were best friends before we got romantically involved.
were business partners and best friends so we've always had a communication there was never when we got together we didn't have that sexual tension um so that came later um so for us the communication has always been super important as it is in swinging that you know you have to um communicate to your partner what you want what you don't want what you like what you're so and i have to agree with vince is because all my other relationships always started with a very that sexual tension you see somebody like oh i want to fuck him oh he's so hot you know you get into that whole roller coaster of emotions and then you're on that high and then reality boom then she met me and i Killed all that.
No sexual desire, no. Nothing. Well, with Vince, it was different. We were, like you said, business partners, so we built that foundation of the house. That's what it was like, and there wasn't that whole, like, oh, baby, I want to fuck you right now. That came later. In fact, it was weird at first. When is that showing up? Someday, hon. I ordered it on Amazon. All right.
That i ordered on amazon that's all right that'll be here back ordered so we didn't have that and i and vince always says he goes maybe that's what people say like back in the day you should only court you should wait and have sex after you're married well that ain't happening but i understand we understand it more now it's like you build that foundation because guess what like v and I always say, you're going to spend a whole lot of time outside the bedroom, more outside the bedroom than inside the bedroom.
So if you can't communicate outside the bedroom what you want and need in your life, and you're going to have problems, it's going to carry over into the bedroom. The bedroom's not going to fix everything. That's like for us, that's the excitement. That's like the chariot on top that's that's just a plus but you've got to live outside the bedroom and deal with the day-to-day and aspects of your life yeah just life and all the sexy stuff kind of like takes a back seat to it but if you don't have that nice foundation it's that bedroom excitement isn't going to hold over. Not for 20 years.
I know that it might last five, 10, but not that like this. So what do you think? If you could tell couples, Hey, here are the benefits of actually being completely honest with each other.
And we recommend you unlearn all of the lying skills that you've that you've been culturally that have you've assimilated from our culture which is basically a lie-based culture we withhold we walk on eggshells we stuff our feelings we don't tell our truths we don't stand for ourselves, you know, we're, we're always, I mean, when you go from being a regular person in our society to being a person who's in a relationship with a partner where it's a hundred percent truthiness, there are definitely some moments where you have to relearn, you have to learn how to be honest because it's lying is so woven into the fabric of our culture and our relationships what what is what is it that you think if you were like trying to sell someone on it's totally worth it to do this what what are the benefits of complete honesty in a relationship because i have that as, but I didn't have it for the first dozen years of my relationship.
And now I'm at 32. So for 20 out of 32, we've been completely honest. And it is such a game changer. But I'd love to hear what you two have to say about why it's such a game changer. Well, in any case start lying you have to lie to cover lies and then you forget and one of the most important aspects of a relationship is trust um you know my daughter is uh now separating from her husband um after about a year and a half and actually my son-in-law was here yesterday and talking to me and, uh, you know, my, they, they've had problems.
They both admit the problems on both sides, but, uh, at this point they have no trust because they've been lying to each other and everything else. And they, their communication, they openly admit their communication was wrong. Um, you know, I raised my kids with don't lie.
You don't need to, you know you know don't don't do something wrong so you don't have to lie um and you know for us it's just like you know some people have a hard time um digesting me because i am brutally honest i'm not gonna um you're not gonna you know sprinkle powdered sugar on it it's dessert you know um but um that is a fetish but it's a different thing um so um yeah so no i've always been raised you know my parents raised me not to lie and i you know i do my darndest not to i think sometimes it's it's a matter of shame uh people in the bedroom um especially uh they might like a certain practice that might be frowned on in society or they or they feel a shame associated with it or uh you know a woman might like be you know maybe like more aggressive sex and feel ashamed toward it because it's maybe she doesn't think it's ladylike or maybe she thinks it's you know akin to you know a rape fantasy and that's kind of taboo or i think a lot of the we have these shames that have been put on us through uh society through our upbringing and if any kind of religious aspects they might put kind of some kind of a shame aspect and if you're just honest with what you're to your partner and and i only need to be honest with him i don't need to be honest with everybody else i mean it's nice but if i'm 100 honest with my partner i'm going to get everything i need in this relationship you know no no bs no lies this this is what i need i i want you you know i want anal i want my hair pulled these are you know you can be specific with what you like or you want a safe environment that you can express and explore your sexual desires and vince came to me and said hey i want to you know i want to threesome with you know four other women and i went this and i'm like yeah let's explore that and there's no there's obviously no shame in that but i have guys coming i secretly want to be pegged and my wife won't do it and i'm like words i've never said words vince has never said and but there might be a shame you know i don't see anything wrong with it i'm not comfortable with it but you know that's just me i mean well we've i've come to the conclusion that you know life is short you know we've all lost people we love right and you know you as long as you're not hurting someone it's all consenting and they're of legal age you know go own it you know i i am not i have no gay tendencies i have no problem with gay people and you know people that are more and more people coming out that they're bi or whatever that's great own it own it you know life is short um as long as you're not hurting anyone, you know, Hey, own it.
It might not, you know, might not be something I like or want to do, but if that's you go for it. One of the things that I've noticed about becoming totally honest in my relationship is that once I did, so I have a set of relationship values. My, my number one relationship value is security. I grew up in a not well-attached childhood. I had quite a difficult childhood. Not as difficult as many, but difficult in its own right. And when I married, when I was 31, I married because I felt that he could protect me. And I'm a woman who wants to be protected. I like to be really out there.
And so being out there, I like the protection, the security, the safety of having my partner really watching over me and keeping his eye on me and you know really believing that I am his to protect and the second thing that I realized is that I need honesty because honesty is a form of security because you always know where you stand and so honesty is very important to me I also need my. I need to be totally taken care of and given my head. And I also need passion. I need great sex in my relationship. And a part of that is variety. I need a lot of variety.
I get bored doing the same things over and over. And so my husband really understands those things about me. And one of the things and I didn't we weren't honest for the first dozen years. And then we were like, we've just we're going to lose our marriage if we don't start telling each other the truth. Let's just say the words. And when and what we noticed in being honest at first was, oh, wow, being honest is a lot less about your imperfection and a lot more about my own imperfection.
As I speak my truth, your own jealousies and fears and insecurities and pettiness really come to the surface when you begin to tell the truth. And I think that being an honest person actually matures you and makes you a much better person.
And what I have found now over the years and this really started for me around the time of the pandemic and around the time of the 2020 presidential election where we were bifurcated as a country and some of us had beliefs that were you know I, I'm pro-vaccination, I'm pro-mask, I'm anti-vaccination, I'm anti-mask, I'm for Trump, I'm against Trump, you know, those kinds of things. You know, I'm Antifa, I'm woke, I'm a Nazi, I'm a whatever, you know.
We really got polarized as a country yes and that pushed me even further because I've come from the conscious, conscious sexuality community, which is kind of like an intersection of polyamory, sex parties, safe sex, being with other people, all that kind of stuff.
I'll see lift people up that's me this is these are my beliefs and i had covered very badly so i was a person who benefited from the vaccinations and you know what i realized was i don't want to hang out with people who lie and don't hold my values and one of my biggest values is keeping me safe and all the people around it so I don't like risky behavior people I don't like people who lie and I just started to not be with people who didn't reflect my values because I didn't want to have to I didn't want to have to filter myself I wanted to be able to be exactly who I was and I wanted to be totally loved for being the person who I really truly am and I am loved for for being that person by literally I think maybe millions of people at this point because I've got you know I've had a lot of good publicity and I've been out there in the world and it really allowed me to step more fully into who I am what I want in an unabashed way that creates a lot less friction and disturbance in the field of your life when you are with people with whom you aligned, and you can kind of cut through the shit and get real and be honest, and know that you will be accepted for it.
And I gravitated toward people where I could just be my true self and be loved for it. And I think there are a lot of people who are caught in trying to be people pleasers, saying what they think people want to hear, not understanding what their boundaries are or how to stand for their own boundaries. And I just think that honesty moves you toward that feeling of self-confidence and alignment with others. So you can have deeper, more beautiful connections with the people who are similar and share similar values. So I really learned a big values lesson over the last, you know, five years or so.
No, that's true. I found that in the, um, in the, in the lifestyle, in that community that it's, it seemed like people were, first of all, they're a lot less judgmental.
There's, a lot of um a lot of openness there's so much more open than vanilla people uh vince could show his artwork which has a lot of nudity he would show them to vanilla people and they're like oh my god that's like pornography it's like it's a new did you ever look at the sistine chapel do you not know you know peter paul rubens come on these are yeah fallacies i'm sorry i can't just photograph fruit yeah exactly the fruit bowl has been done to death okay but people in the lifestyle are just so much more open and across the board is so many things it i just felt like they were so even if you had different uh belief systems they were still like hey i might not be into that but you do you and they're really okay with that they're not trying to change you they're not trying to you know shame you into doing things and one of the things we've talked about more recently on our podcast has been um over the last year we started going to a house party that is generally i'm gonna say that the mean average age is is going to be 50 okay and average age 50 that's a that's pretty good oh yeah oh yeah we we've had bad experiences at clubs and meet and greets so we don't do them um but you know at this house party you know the the honesty since we're talking on that topic that is really great there is um you know not everyone is the pretty people um that you know they're not the perfect bodies and and whatever but you know everyone is genuine everyone you could tell they're comfortable in their skin and they're genuine people and and everyone mixes and mingles and plays you know we've these, like I said, clubs and stuff, and everyone wants to kind of, again, segregate into groups like, oh, we're pretty and they're not.
Oh, they're older and they're, you know. And so the honesty of, in our case, we've been talking about, is like this house party.
It's just so refreshing that there's, you know, people in their 30s that, 30s that you know come there and you know they're playing with someone in their 60s or whatever and someone that isn't you know doesn't have a perfect body or whatever and it's just i don't know it's just so refreshing again it's that like-mindedness that you know what it's you know we're going on the value of the person not the superficial exactly well i think by the time you get to your 60s you're a pretty good lover it takes a while so those 30 year olds that are with those 60 year olds are actually very lucky to be with them because you know by the time you are older and you're still sexually active you have so much wisdom about the body and pleasure and safety and connection and i i think it's so what if what the physical form looks like is so unimportant compared to the the truthfulness the heart connection the keeping people safe i've got a couple quick questions for you one is how do you define that so donna you talk you call yourself a hot wife I don't know.
connection, the keeping people safe. I've got a couple of quick questions for you. One is, how do you define that? So Donna, you talk, you call yourself a hot wife. Vince, what do you call yourself and how does that compare to stag and vixen? And how would you compare that to a cuckolding relationship? How would you compare those three? um well i'm not a cuckold in the sense of I don't want to be belittled or humiliated or any of that. I don't go for that. You are a voyeur, though. Again, being a photographer, by nature, you're a voyeur.
I mean, a photographer is showing you the world through his eyes. So for me, I enjoy – to me, there's nothing more erotic than my wife We'll be right back. I mean, you know, a photographer is showing you the world through his eyes. So for me, I enjoy, to me, there's nothing more erotic than my wife giving or receiving pleasure. I find that extremely erotic. And the fact that I can capture it in video and or photos, you know, again, a photograph is a moment in time that can't be replaced.
No matter, you could try it again, but it's not the same um yeah and so for me that is um that is my my fetish i guess um you know um i've really you call yourself i'm just thinking that um i guess i call myself more of a voyeur um so hot life with voyeur yeah i guess I mean, not that I don't play with others.
I just, it's not a um not not mandatory for me yep okay and what how would you compare a hot wife and your voyeur your non-cuckled voyeuristic uh desires as compared to stag and vixen i'm well define stag for me Yeah, st and vixen i'm like i that's a new term to me i see them on um all the uh on this various social media things and i just think okay stag vixens kind of like i know they're swinger terms i just don't know how they correspond on to hot wife and hot husband in this case, or a lawyer. Right? Exactly..
I just don't know how they correspond to hot wife and hot husband in this case, or a lawyer. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know how they correspond. I don't understand the difference between them either. I understand the cuckold distinction of, uh, that is more specifically, um, degradation, humiliation of the man where the wife is getting fucked by, you know, other people. But, um But yeah, that's interesting. So in my particular relationship, so I'm with my husband now 32 years. And I have a boyfriend who is, you know, pretty much a full time boyfriend.
He also has two other girlfriends who are monogamous to him. And we consider ourselves to be what we would like to call a monogapod. That's kind of our little name for it. And that is that we are fluid bonded kitchen table poly people. So I'll define that for your listeners as well, because a lot of people don't don't hear a lot of these terms.
So we don't necessarily use the word open relationship relationship because we like polyamorous better because we have very we tend to have more long-term deep relationships with our lovers and we don't necessarily go if we go to a sex party we tend to have sex with each other or if we have intimacy with another person it's um only there's a restricted number of things we can do and that's because we are in this notion of a fluid bonded group and right now it's just my husband my boyfriend and i but it expands and contracts over time i had a girlfriend uh last year as well that was a really fun experience Thank you.
been my boyfriend and I but it expands and contracts over time I had a girlfriend uh last year as well that was a really fun experience um I had another boyfriend recently for about six months and so I was with three men and I had a lot of experiences with three men that I'd never had before because I'd never had three guys screened in to my group before and so we did like air tights and things like that which were really fun and they were all really good together they're all straight but not they don't have any problem touching each other or getting super close or any of that and so those were some incredible life experiences that i had with three incredible guys that totally loved me and really loved each other.
And it was so nice for me because my style of sex and the sex techniques that I teach are heart connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking. What I'm really trying to do is help people transform having sex into making love.
I'm trying to take the performative aspect out of it and get down to the pleasure the connection the surrender the you know the orgasmic enjoyment you know those kinds of things helping people kind of get out of their head and into their body and into their soul connection and um the way that we do our safe sex piece of it is that we have a list of, essentially, I work with this company called Basis DX. It's Basis Diagnostics.
And they have an at-home STD test where you buy it online, they ship it you and then it's just um little uh finger prick blood blots on paper you don't have to go into a lab and give a blood test with needles a lot of people hate needles man and they can do the blood spot there might be a swab required there might be a urine sample it just depends on which test they get i like their basis eight with upsell to eight um hsv one and two because i like people to know that they have herpes but it's no reason for me not to be with them i just want them to be aware of it so that they might think oh that's not a zit on my ass that's a that's a lesion right like it just becomes we all know that we got to look out for that and just do body scan so everyone who who we are sexual with has been has gone through all the testing gotten their test results provided them to the entire group my husband's the document keeper he keeps the document with everyone's and shares our tests back to that person who came into the group and then everyone knows that it's safe and we can have non-condom sex and then sometimes people come in for a weekend and then they screen back out it's called screening in or screening out that's our terminology and by the way we didn't invent this we learned this from really old school marin county poly people who were phds and doctors who ran this their long-term 40-year poly relationships completely safely in this way and if we want to so there's we we look at the distinction of an A and B level of safety.
And the A level is they're fully screened in. We know exactly what we're dealing with and everyone is safe. B level is that we can, without asking any of our partners, we have the agreement that we can make out with someone and we can put our hands on their genitals and on their body, but we can't put our mouth on their genitals or our genitals on their genitals and they can't do that to us either. So the mouth and genital contact is is that moves into an unsafe risk profile from our perspective.
And so that's nice because you get some freedom to play and you can have tons of orgasms and super hot sex with somebody with sex toys and your hands and kissing and, you know, kissing their breasts and, you know, those kinds of things, um, without needing to do more. And I often find that gives me much more comfort that I don't have to quote unquote, go all the way with someone that I'm not ready to do anyway, because I'm one of those people that really, I'm very, if you will, sapiosexual and demisexual.
So sapiosexual, I like super smart people, I care more about your brain and your values and your honesty and your integrity than I do about how your body presents. I fall in with the person not the physical form um now that being said i like i like a hot body to go with all that that's fine but hot has a wide variety i had a chance up to that point yeah and then demisexual is emotional connection that's another thing for me is that i'm less transactionally oriented and more emotionally connected. And it's easy for me to love.
I've really worked my heart muscle and it's a strong muscle in my body. And I love a lot of people. And so I like to love and I like to feel loved and I like to be loved. So I think that what we call ourselves as a fluid bonded screening group or a monogapod has worked very well for us.
Not always with any kind of open relationships of any sort, you do have strife with people at times and it can be very upsetting and very edgy and a big big fucking growth experience but we are willing to have growth experiences to be honest to have safe sex talks to have you know physiologic safety um and that's been going well for us. I wouldn't change it. It's been standing the test of time for the way we like to do things.
And so I think it's really fun to just have different perspectives on how couples navigate being in a relationship where you are intimate with others so i'd love to know what you guys do around stis to keep yourself safe because it's so paramount in our relationship well we're trying to stay away from people that would be high risk so they're like you said they're educated um you do a body scan you know have you seen any lesions you know you bring it to retention or we had one guy he had like a it wasn't really a big deal but he had like a big vein on his neck it was like really weird looking he was oh it's almost like a uh like a varicose vein on his penis it was really weird looking i was like is this is this okay and he was like no he explained it to me because he actually was a physician who was in the lifestyle so but it just been you know stay away from the people that are you know high risk i don't you know drug users and you know people that are homeless and and condoms do condoms can get used i'm not opposed to them at all but once we know people then that we kind of and then we don't you know i feel like i feel like we know them well enough that we don't need that extra protection and also having a conversation with them that like you said i i do i fall in love with the personality than i do you know physically it's always like oh yeah he's hot but it's the conversation and the spark and excitement are we on the same level here do you want to have uh you know sometimes uh a picture doesn't always portray what they're really like you know sometimes like oh i know vince had me he invited a younger guy over and he i'm like oh vince i just don't think he's gonna work he's kind of you know kind of kind of this, boy, oh, boy, I was wrong.
You cannot judge a book by the cover. And I was, you know, and now he's very articulate. He's fun. He's humor. He's very humorous. And it just, you know, upset my little, you know, my apple cart, which is fine. I thought it was kind of, Vince was like, you've got to play with him. I think you're going to be really surprised. I'm like, okay.
I i was very surprised he was actually a lot of fun so yeah and again we don't have a big stable people we play with it's uh again it's kind of a closed group yeah uh-huh so you're doing a similar thing you've got pretty much a closed group yeah yeah it's i mean like i said we don't go to clubs or stuff like that yeah um just for a lot of reasons um you know we've had some uh bad experiences and uh just again donna you know being a dancer for 22 years grew up you know worked in in loud music bars and stuff and again i'm a big believer like um if you're going out to meet somebody i don't want to have to yell and scream across the table to them i want to have a conversation i don't want to you know Thank you.
I'm a big believer, like, if you're going out to meet somebody, I don't want to have to yell and scream across the table to them. I want to have a conversation. I don't want to, you know, I grew up with an Italian family, so I don't, you know, I'm used to people yelling when they're two feet away, and it's just, I don't like that. So, you know, I want to have a conversation, and I don't need to share my conversation. If we're in a normal public bar, I don't want to, you know, sit there and try to flirt at, you know, 600 decibels. Yeah. You know, I mean, so we have a really nice property here.
It's secluded, built into a hill. So a lot of times if we meet people, we just invite them over here. We have, you know, a nice private in-ground pool and everything else uh when it's not 20 degrees outside yeah but it's another story but so you know for us um and and like you said we're not quick to jump in bed or whatever you know it's usually let's meet and talk and see you know see if there's a chemistry or whatever. Again, one of the dynamics of the situation is, you know, before she plays a so-one, I have to kind of, not only does she have to approve of them, I have to. Right.
You know, it's got to be something I feel I can trust him. Right. And that, you know, he's clear on, you know, like I said, sexual rules.
You know i we don't agree with her you know donna is a small woman like i said she doesn't like rough sex it doesn't and i find choking personally very disrespectful so i tell these people you don't want to choke her because then i get to choke you and you know you don't want that um yeah i don't want that so um and as long as guys understand the rules and you know and generally we we always try to say friends first yeah you know we want you know that makes sense yeah we have a bunch not a bunch we have a few of the guys that uh that are in donna's stable friends that you know come out hey do you need help carrying the firewood up?
Hey, do you need help with the snow? Do you guys need help you clean the driveway? So it's a more social thing too. Yeah. That's, that's very, uh, kitchen table poly, you know, that's very family. It's very family oriented, which is what I, one of the things I like. Um, my husband and I recently ran into a difficult situation and my boyfriend literally got on a plane and showed up three hours later to help us. Like, it's, you know, it's like we're all the way in to support each other.
Quick question, because I do want I know we're running out of time and I do want to talk a little bit about ageless sexuality. But could you just very quickly tell me currently what you're finding is really turning you on something new that you're doing that you're excited about sexually kind of came as a surprise uh um going back to the threesome with the with the host and the hostess went up there and we were i started out being a little threesome, then Vince jumped in too and did the wife. But I found out I really, really liked getting pounded anally while having my hair pulled.
I had the strongest orgasm I have had in a very long time. And this gentleman was my first experience with the BDSM world and power exchange. And he, we did some, I had to take like a little, I'll call it a class or better for lack of a better term. So I'd be trained in that. So I'm very comfortable with him dominating me and he does just the right amount of dominance without being abusive. And, and it's like loving dominance and the anal with that.
And I've just been, like, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr days i'm like you know just skip the pussy just go right in the back door because that's where i really want you to be anyway and the orgasms are stronger i don't know i don't know what it is it's just it's so much more primal maybe that's what i'm experiencing and the hair pulling oh and he gets it like real tight like really close to the root oh dear god there's like you're having a moment i'm having a moment here oh i got like little chills like oh i'm getting it now like little goosebumps You can go away or i can talk and you can i have to go get one of my toys i'll be right back but it was the most incredible orgasm i've had in a long time and we have a videotape and i watch and i'm like oh the whole thing was just so hot the wave vents uh the lighting i found very romantic and it was like is there just spotlight so there's lots of shadow that's kind of it's not like i just had a small little single light on my video camera and the room was dark and it's room so it was the lighting was actually almost kind of primal too yeah it's like you walked into a room with a flashlight and just caught these people and they didn't stop doing what they're doing it was are you posting your videos on only fans do you have an only fans yes i do yeah only fans oh great what's what's the name of your only fans Thank you.
But we find OnlyFans is becoming more cumbersome.
They're getting stricter and stricter with i can't do any kind of bondage no restraints um i did uh they they tore it down because i was with a guy with a very very large penis we call him lovingly beer can because it's that big and i had a huge butt plug in and his dick oh that they tore it down extreme no extreme gaping you cannot put that up on only fans i cannot be restrained i love she actually masturbated with the cigar and they took it down they said that is not a sexual device you cannot put that kind of stuff up yeah interesting yeah so i i love many vids there i i feel like even their um if i have any problems their uh Their tech support, I find very, I don't know, I just, I just feel like they're, they're, first of all, they're very quick to respond.
They're much more giving. They're a little more, I don't know, they embrace a whole lot of fetishes that you cannot do on OnlyFans. Do you have an OnlyFans site? Yes, I do. If you go to moresusan.com, there's a link there to it. I have both a free membership and I have a paid monthly membership. And I enjoy not knowing I'm being filmed because again, I'm so against the performative.
I don't want to feel like anything is taking me out of my connection and pleasure but my partners do like to film and they will post it for me and I really use it mostly as teaching moments where I'm explaining what we're doing in very non-pornographic very loving terms and one of the things that i like about it is that in my intimacy um business what i do as a publisher of passionate lovemaking techniques is that my kind of core focus is orgasm skills learning the 20 kinds of orgasms how to expand your orgasmic capacity what your orgasmic potential is so that you understand how to achieve it, doing orgasmic cross training, all of these kinds of things.
And so I think that one of the things I've always felt about being a sexpert is that it is important to be sexy. And, you know, I don't think Dr dr ruth is the model that we need anymore i think that was a good one for 20 or 30 years ago it's nice when you're with a sexpert who's teaching you sex skills who is sexy themselves and will actually allow you to see what their sex looks like so that you can see what they're talking about when you're reading. When you read my articles and I teach you skills, you see that they're what I'm doing. So I think it's a walk the talk.
And then another thing I like about it, and this really leads me into the last thing I want to talk to you about, because I know we need to go um and that is that well we're not on time schedule are you yes i am okay um one of the things that i really like to talk about as one of my major platforms is ageless sexuality the fact that we get better and better as we age as long as we keep our our bodies in shape, we keep our equipment working. And so I spent a lot of time teaching men how to use a penis pump.
One of my number one books, I've written 44 books and programs, and probably my number three most downloaded book is called The Pump Guide. It's at pumpingguide.com for your listeners. And what it does is it has the pump I recommend and the protocols for men to keep atrophy at bay, reverse atrophy, improve blood carrying capacity, increase firmness, increase duration, increase sensation.
You know, men say they get desensitized as they age they age right because that's the vascular retraction that makes the nerves kind of retract along with the the blood flow and then all the way up into male enhancement or sexual biohacking which is you know how do you take what you've got and get it back to how it was when you were young and then How do you make it even better and i've done that with and then beyond pumping gains wave for men which is the acoustic wave treatment to the penis that really is for a lot of guys pumping might not be enough for them and so reversing the atrophy of aging and getting all that blood flow and firmness back, Gaines Wave works really well.
Taking a nitric oxide supplement is like ground zero. You really need a lot of nitric oxide supplementation as you age. I'm writing this down. Keep that flow going. And it's all in the pump guide, which is nice. And then for women, FemiWave, I like red light therapy inside the vagina to keep the vaginal mucosal lining thick and making glycogen, which is what the good bacteria eat. That's vaginadevice.com, FemiWave.com. Those are two really good therapies.
And then for women, using a lot of both bodies, penis owners and vulva owners, using a lot of different types of toys to activate different parts of the genital system. So you're not just relying on that one pathway to orgasm. You're expanding all your pathways to orgasm using tools that activate the tissue, send better signals to the brain and have moved things from it hurts, it's numb, it's painful to that feels good. And that's at orgasmic cross training.com. All those tools. I was just in LA and I just spoke at the vibe show and I did my orgasmic cross training kind of presentation there.
And people frigging love knowing about that. like they don't think about the fact that oh wow i mean you mean i can develop more orgasmic ability yes you can oh and there's tools that will help me accelerate that yes there are and so i think those things are really important and i guess what i'd like to do because you know just to kind of close it off with the two of you, I've really enjoyed this conversation, but maybe just words of wisdom for your listeners about why it is so important to continue to pursue your passion and pleasure as you age.
Like what are maybe the top three benefits that kind of spill over into your the other parts of your life? I think that if the three of us kind of answered that, it would probably be a good, nice close for our segment, if that sounds good to you guys. Sure. I think, first of all, the great sexual life, it keeps you close to your mate. That's true.
You know, I always tell people that, you know, like when you don't have a regular a regular sex life you know you might be two weeks out and your wife says oh can you take the trash out well in your head you're like go to hell you know but yeah your wife you know you have a good sex life and your wife says hey honey i need you to cut your hand off like here you go you know um you know men are simple creatures um and but no i think and and i also think a good sex life gives you good self-worth you feel attractive you feel positive it's a it's it's hard to be depressed after an orgasm i think that positivity also from an orgasm or feeling attractive to your mate spills into your your other life too out of the out of the bedroom you just feel positive about everything.
It's like, well, even if I have a bad thing, it's like somebody cuts you off in traffic, whatever. I don't care about him. My husband loves me. He thinks I'm sexy. He's going to give me a good orgasm. We're going to give each other great orgasms. So I get rid of that negativity because the positive is just going to spill over into the rest of my life. Yeah, I love that. I would say for me, it would be that I feel like mastering my sexuality has put me head and shoulders above people who forfeit theirs, that it has made me vital.
And like I have mega wattage from the sexual pleasure that I get, you know, the, the nervous system reboot, the, the cascade of the hormones, the lighting up of my brain and oxygenation of my brain and all these areas from coming. Um, it also makes me feel deeply loved, deeply loved and adored I feel so adored and I like that and then I think makes me feel deeply loved, deeply loved and adored. I feel so adored. And I like that. And then I think that having good sex, it definitely makes me look younger and feel younger. I like the physical and I like the emotional pieces of it.
But I also feel like a motherfucking badass like i'm a badass bitch i'm hot and sexy and 62 and like i am having a life a really incredible life and i think the thing about that is that it's all free it costs nothing it's literally just your attitude about being almost worthy enough to have it and And the last thing I like about it is that I think when you are a highly sexual being and you're getting all of those benefits, what you're also doing is you're putting two middle fingers up to religious repression, patriarchal repression, cultural bullshit and lying.
Like nobody's holding me back from having joy and pleasure in my life. I am a sovereign woman who makes the decisions about what is right for me. And I am in control of my life, my body and my pleasure.
And I think that that really flows over into every other aspect of one's life as well so i really like to stand for that ageless sexuality teach people sexual biohacking so they can keep going when you know things do happen and i don't want people to give up just because they need an oil change if you will right why abandon the car when all you need is an oil change so um i think, I think those are some of my favorite things about, um, being a sexy goddess. I love it. I love it. I could talk to her for days. I'll come back. I'm going to hold you to that. I'd love to, love to have you on.
Um, our email, um, as I've been dealing with your publicist, um um is hot wife podcast at gmail.com if you could send us all your links and we're going to pump that out through our social media so um the listeners can check out all your everywhere to see uh great everything you are offering and talking about which i feel energized yeah yeah no and uh yeah no this was uh like again we were first like you know after seeing all your credentials like why does she want to talk to us but now it's like i'm glad you talked about that you know um but uh and if you ever make it to the east coast you definitely have to let us know i will well i do come back so i will let you know uh yeah i've got family there still so it was very nice to be with you thank you so much for Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me on. I thought we had a wonderful conversation and I think we've been a big help to your listeners, just hearing different perspectives that we're, we're very aligned. Um, and, um, that's nice for people to know. there's plenty of people like us out there. So thank you. Yeah. We're not alone. We're definitely not, not alone.
The one thing I wanted to quick touch that I wanted to say, she's talking about getting older aspect is I've always said that women 35 and over is the age I use are better at lovemaking than women in their twenties because at 35 women start to grasp and men appreciate orgasms better, how to give and receive them.
We'll see you those links and um yeah love love to talk to you again it was really a joy thank you i'm gonna go work out now okay that sounds like fun all right bye so again i want to thank susan for coming on the show that was great that's awesome awesome um and uh we'll wrap it up but email us at hotwifepodcasts at gmail.com, and we'll get you those links and show you where you can see and hear more of Susan. She's one sexy lady. Boy, oh, boy. She's very sexy. All right, we're going to wrap this up. So thanks for listening. All right. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody.
