Stupid States Sex Laws

Transcript

this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest and performers are all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect consent of the owners of the Hot Wife Podcast.

The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of the Hot Wife Podcast's owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice. Hi, this is Donna Lynn and welcome to my Hot Wifeife Podcast, where we discuss all the good, the bad, and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle. Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast. I'm accompanied by my wonderful husband, Vince, again. Accompanied? Wow, there's a new word. Uh-huh, uh-huh, mixing up here.

Yeah, I'm using a thesaurus. That vocabulary game is paying off. I'm telling you, I told you. That was $5.99 well spent. I thought so. Is it that or use the thesaurus that you bought me? One or the other, you know. Wow, the the are you doing my dear i am kind of cold uh with the heater on no i'm fine are you sure yeah we're in the process of um revamping the studio in the studio and waiting for the propane company to come out and fill the tank so we can get the heat turned on in here. Well, we're moving tanks and this and that, and then we're going to start doing the interior.

We're getting – soon will we have the place in relatively decent shape that we can actually start videotaping the podcast. I'm anxious for it to get to that stage. Yeah, well, I understand that. I'm just not anxious to do it. It won't be that bad. But anyway, so it'll be fun. Yeah, it will be fun. So we've reached out to some other places, like a club and some clubs, and see if maybe we can get some clubs on the show too.

It would be them interesting get them in here and talk about their club and what's different about their clubs and yeah we guess that is one thing that you and i don't really do a whole lot of so for us to talk about clubs or anything about them would be kind of uh pointless because we don't we're not club people well and there are other swinger podcasts that talk about clubs yeah sure might not be the ones ones in our general area but i'm just saying that people are listening to get more low down on clubs um so i mean that's what i think would be nice if we can and we'll get a couple clubs in here um when they come in um get them to tell us about it and you know give people like why you should consider a club and maybe you hear something you don't want to go to a club for.

I don't know. Exactly. We went to parties. I wouldn't say that they were an actual club per se. They were more meet and greets. More meet and greets. And like we said before, there was a couple we went to and it just wasn't good. It wasn't for us. Yeah. I'll put it that way. It wasn't for us. Yeah. We didn't have, personally, didn't have great experience. No, we didn't. But that's just us. We might be just the odd bird, you know. So who knows? Well, it's obvious we're odd. It's a whole other story. Did you ever listen to this podcast? We're obviously odd. We're obviously odd. That's true.

Yeah. So. But anyway, so tonight we're going to do something.

Hopefully it be a little fun yeah i think it'll be interesting um because we were driving the other day and and i said something about um it dawned on my we're talking about laws and i said you know i remember hearing before there's a bunch of states have some really unique archaic stupid ridiculous laws about sex yep sex laws so i found a bunch of sites that cover different states and the laws i printed them out i have not really read them i just printed them out and gave them to you i have and well that was that was the idea so you get to be the straight person and and I will give you my ridiculous commentary.

Okay. I'm going to start off. I'm going to do these kind of inalphabetic work. A couple states have similar ones. I'm just going to try to group them together if I can. The state that I wouldn't want to live in is Alabama because anal and oral sex is illegal between unmarried couples. But worse than that. Wait, wait. Oral and anal? Mm-hmm. It's a little...

your brother no anal and oral sex is illegal between unmarried couples but worse than that wait oral and anal it's illegal how about oral anal can you lick somebody's asshole i don't know i don't know but in georgia anal and oral sex is prohibited regardless of marital status so it's even worse how do you enforce that i i don't know i know. I guess someone would have to turn you in. Will the sex please come knock on your door? Are you doing anal? We need to check your asshole. We've got to see. Reports have it you've been doing some anal banging.

If you can drop trial, let us take a look at your rectum. We don't want to see if that fucker's kind of stretched out, dribbling cum. Yeah. When you fart, does it go like... Yeah. Eat these beans. We'll be back in half an hour. Your fart don't make noise. You're in trouble. You're in trouble. What does that do to prison life? I don't know. I have no... Oh, my God. They're criminals already. They don't care. They broke the law already. They already broke the law. They don't care. They don't care.

All no well they're criminals already they don't care they broke the law they don't care they don't care all right yeah but i mean i mean so so if you're one of the people in that couple that is doing that uh-huh and you turn the other person like oh my god that person you know put their dick in my ass aren't you a criminal too probably i don't otherwise it'd be rape right exactly so that would yeah so that wouldn't be good at all it would not be good again yeah that's it's a ridiculous law i was like how would you i've heard some in the past like oh you can't kiss a woman you're not married to on a sunday or something like that it's like really i didn't find that one i'm just saying i've heard of that that kind of ridiculous ones well here's one um what state this is arizona now again these laws might might have changed i don't know how new that website was and we can't talk to the validity of these these are right this is what we found oh it's on the internet it has be true.

Exactly. In Arizona, adultery is still a class three misdemeanor. However, suspects can't be prosecuted unless the spouse is willing to press charges. I mean, you can be arrested for adultery. Three words. SLS. Swing lifestyle. Well, just be a swinger, period. Just be a swinger. We're not being supported by any particular swinger website. No, that's the thing that we always say. It's like, you know what? Three letters. Yeah. Or you could just say the swing lifestyle as generic. Or just be a swinger. Yeah, just become a swinger. Make things so much easier. Here's a weird one. They're all weird.

Yeah, but this is really weird because I i've never even knew they existed in california well okay that's weird okay hold on a second stuffed articles made to look like breasts also known as boob pillows can't be sold within a thousand feet of a highway what the fuck is a boob pillow i've never heard of a boob pillow no what the fuck is that i think all boobs are pillows it's just like you know i mean if you get breast implants does that count no they're not they're not boob pillows oh that's your opinion they're not stuffed articles i'll gladly rest my head on them maybe they are so i can't sell my a boob pillow there goes my boob pillow tycoon theory yeah i was going to open up a factory right next to the highway sell boob pillows and sell boob pillows wow yeah that's pretty a boob pillow i have no idea i've never heard of a boob pillow hey when i grew up we were just stuffing socks with toilet paper you know well i mean is it a novelty thing i have no idea instead of nothing no color pillows or you know a pillow on your bed with a flower pattern it's got boobs or the shape of a boob?

No, they're made to look like breasts. Okay. That's what I'm saying. It looks like a boob, yeah. Now, the danger part is if the nipples are hard on them, you roll over, you can take an eye out. You can take an eye out, yes, for sure. I don't know. Okay. These are concerns we have in this country.

Not terrorism, not the economy not the economy boob pillows not pedophilia not you know many of the you know the economy whatever no boob pillows well the next one is a little frightening though this one they really should do something about it okay in hawaii there are no laws on the books which prohibit bestiality. That's a little frightening. It's like, shouldn't that be against the law? Come on. Talk to the SPCA out there. They might have something on that. I mean. No, it's just wrong. Wouldn't it kind of be like animal cruelty? It is animal cruelty.

I mean, unless the animal liked it yeah well here's one along with animals um in illinois wrong no matter what it's wrong no matter what but um in illinois when someone sells a reptile they are legally required to give the purchaser a written warning telling them not to kiss the reptile. Oh, well, that's the only reason I buy reptiles. It's to kiss them. Especially the poisonous ones. Oh, especially. I just want to make out with them. I'm looking for a nice, you know, king cobra to make out with. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, the tongue on that thing. Yeah, baby. Wait, so it's Illinois?

Yeah I'm not moving there How about a nice monitor lizard? A nice monitor lizard Big thick tongue They're definitely poisonous and nasty Frogs are reptiles, right? No, and they are amphibians Then I can kiss that You can kiss frogs I might move Thank you. Frogs are reptiles, right? No, and they are amphibians. Okay. Well, then I can kiss that. You can kiss frogs. All right. I'm good. All your little, you know. Okay. I might move to Illinois now. As long as I can, you know, make that with my. Kiss a frog. Make that with a frog. Turn into a prince or princess, whichever. Whatever it is.

Tough way to find out. Oh, my God. That's terrible.

I mean, now you have to ask yourself with these laws, happened that they made these laws i don't know what was the what instance happened that there had to be something we have to stop people from kissing reptiles yeah yeah we need a law for that what yeah there's no background with these laws but you have to wonder like what the fuck happened that they had to do this uh in kansas here's a funny one i mean makes you think that okay our legislature drinks a lot maybe they didn't drug test they didn't drug no they didn't in government there was no drug testing it should have been in in kansas uh you don't want to be an uber driver because it is illegal to knowingly drive a prostitute to their sex work really so they can't take a taxi to work they can't uber how do you know i ubered for a short bit when people got in it was just like i already knew where they were going told me right there it's like okay once again close the door it's like okay we ready hit the button and it tells you where you're going it doesn't sit there they're going to that brothel maybe do you work there i'm sorry i can't somebody off at a hotel i don't know if they're visiting if they're a prostitute yeah you don't know again i refer back to our show about why isn't prostitution legal exactly no it's like just assume someone's a prostitute it's like oh okay well you know oh Why isn't prostitution legal?

Exactly. You know? It's like, let's assume someone's a prostitute. It's like, oh, okay. Well, you know. Oh, sorry. I didn't group this one in with the anal sex one. Well, you've got to keep it hard. Sorry. In Massachusetts, sodomy is still on the books as illegal. So there's three states.

Massachusetts has been fucking people in the ass for a lot ofy is against the law yes which is anal sex so that's that's forced anal sex that's not consensual uh no i think sodomy is just any anal sex it's just a another word for anal no i tell you oh shit i gotta erase this tape We can't have this podcast out with me. Never mind. I'm not telling anybody. I see nothing, nothing. In Massachusetts, it's fine to drive into a lake with your secretary in your car, and you swim to the shore and let her drown. That's fine. Well, it's survival of the fittest. You're just a better swimmer than she is.

Yeah. Teach her to wear a seatbelt. There you go. Stop wearing seatbelts. You can drown. We're not saying that. Thank you. Survive with the fittest. You're just a better swimmer than she is. Yeah. Teach her to wear a seatbelt. There you go. Stop wearing seatbelts. You drown. We're not saying that. Seatbelts are good. Don't even go there. Okay. In Minnesota, grabbing someone's clothed buttocks is not considered sexual assault, although the lawmakers are working to change that. It's like it's not sexual assault. I mean.

Well, you're grabbing the clothing you're grabbing happen to be over their ass exactly yeah i understand that i'm with that it shouldn't be sexual assault no it's not yeah grab their ass it's fine grab their crotch too there's clothing there's clothing if you put your hand down their pants no it's a misdemeanor that's a misdemeanor i missed it i mean i meaner to do something else oh my god this is a weird one in mississippi well right there again mississippi well i can say that about any state come on okay in sex education classes you are allowed to teach about contraceptives, but no, but condom demonstrations are strictly forbidden.

Oh, condom demonstration when they can whip out someone's dick? Well, you put it over a cucumber. They might show you how to unroll a condom. How is that? I don't know. I get that. I don't get the law, but demonstrating like how you put a condom. That would make sense.

You know, you know you don't want to mess that up i mean you could have a guy who doesn't know he takes and rolls it and then tries to put it on and they could rip it right exactly so i think condom demonstration is is vital yeah you know but no but you can go into the library now and get a book they'll teach you how to you know suck another guy's dick and are they have books that now yeah i ordered you three i'm so glad you did yeah with pictures oh excellent oh i like the books with pictures because i'm getting tired of drawing pictures for you uh your drawings are not so great i've i've seen them i'm like is that a finger That's because your pictures are not so great.

I've seen them. I'm like, is that a finger? Your dick sucking is not so great either. That's because your pictures are not so great. So there. I'm going to have to get some movies. I had a terrible teacher. I'll have to get some movies for you. Yeah, I think you will. In Missouri, Springfield, Springfield, Missouri, has tragically banned side boob and under boob in public. Fuck that. Has tragically banned. That's what it says. Well, yeah, tragically banned side boob and under boob in public. Fuck that. Has tragically banned. That's what it says. Well, yeah, tragically. It is tragically.

Side boob is awesome. That's so erotic, side boob. I think so, too. Very erotic. Yeah, and you know what? I just think that people are too uptight about things. Oh, he can't see the side of her boob. Oh, he can't see the under boob. But again, we don't have when these walls came into effect. No, I don't know. This could have been whatever. I mean, so technically side boob would make it into effect. No, I don't know. This could have been whatever. So technically, side boob would make it so you couldn't even wear any bathing suit. True. Almost. Almost any bathing suit.

Most bathing suits, the armpits are cut. You have to wear the old, like, roaring 20s kind with a fucking collar and sleeves. They're wearing, like, a short set, you know. They're going to get under your fucking ankles. Yeah, some of the men's bathing suits actually went to, Michigan. Which state was that? This was in Missouri. Yeah, they're not on the ocean. So the bathing suit thing don't count there. Yeah, it doesn't count there. So just go naked. Then you don't have side boob. Oh, there you go. You got all boob. All boob. Yeah. All boob all the time. I like that. I'm all about that.

Oh, here's one we already know.

nevada while prostitution with licensed brothels is legal those brothels cannot legally be within 40 yards of a place of worship and we also know that there's places uh how much how much praising god do you hear oh god okay a lot but uh yeah that make them a house of worship well they're on their knees sometimes so they're on their knees and they're praising god praising god you know sounds like a house of worship to me yeah i'm just checking yeah okay let me see um this is kind of weird in new york adult businesses must devote no more than 40% of their square footage to adult entertainment.

No more than? No more than 40% of the square footage. And adult entertainment, it's an adult business. Okay, so I own a porn shop. Right. Only 40% can be. For the actual adult entertainment. When they say adult entertainment entertainment what's the other 60 of fucking starbucks that would be awesome i don't i don't know do they mean adult entertainment as in the peep shows or the okay that might be it well i don't know they just say adult entertainment okay so entertainment i would yeah see be. I would guess it would have to be movies and peep booths or whatever.

And the other 60% would have to be. Like toys. You could buy the movies or buy toys. Yeah, because that's not. Clothing. Mm-hmm. Okay. Still stupid, but okay. Yeah, I don't know. I don't. Yeah, the inspector. Yeah, I did a bad measurement there the other day. I have to go back. Go back. Measure their square footage. Again. It's like you've been back there four times already. I hope, you know, I hope Jesse isn't in that Pete booth again. Yeah, that booth is tough to measure. Very costly for me to be in that booth.

Very costly, I guess so.ed out a credit card yeah oh this is just a little uh little one in north north carolina they went back to the cities actually there is a real city called horny town which not come up on our other cities no it didn't that's i'm moving there yeah horny town and massage parlors are hilariously illegal there of course it's horny town so they take away the massage parlors because they're illegal that maybe that's why it is horny town because they're not getting massages they're not getting the massages wink nod nod with a happy ending whatever you know it's uh you know i've heard a lot of stories of people go to massages that aren't a happy ending kind.

Oh, yeah. And they do. They get all aroused. For me, when I've had massages. Oh, yeah. They're extremely painful. They're so painful that the last thing I'm thinking about is sex. Oh, yeah. I'm just concentrating on my breathing. It's like, okay, okay. Yeah. Breathing, breathing. Yeah.

Those deep tissue massages, they hurt so hurt so good not in a sexual way though no but when you're done it's like you're you're sore but boy like the next day man it does make a difference so they're not the happy ending kind trust me no sometimes you're happy when they end yes i try to like project myself into some other happy place you know yeah i get that shoot they're they're great different kind of massage yes in ohio it is illegal for a stripper to touch a patron and a side note here stormy daniels was arrested for this just last month it says here so i don't know what year this was last month is whenever yeah so he was arrested for that well technically you can speak to the pennsylvania law sure technically you're not allowed to touch them um let's depends i've got dr 22 years what was explained to me by one of the bar managers by law they're not the patrons are not to touch the dancers and dancers are not to touch the patrons.

It was like that when I first started like the first 8-10 years whatever and then it kind of got like oh well they can stick the dollar between your boobs and you get a little skin. Well that was where the but where the, but see, that's where that whole thing, like the girls have your hands and your boobs and you push them together, but then you use your fingers to take the money. So it's, you're not taking the, you're taking the money hand to hand. Right. And just happens to be your hands happen to be in your boobs. Mm-hmm. You know. So there's like ways to get around that.

How many times did you have guys that would put the dollar in their teeth and then come over and try to? Every once in a while. Yeah, I saw that occasionally. Yeah, every once in a while. And I would take it with my teeth, so there you go. Oh, okay. You have teeth between your boobs? Watch out, man. They bite. Those boob teeth are nasty. I got to, you know. Get one of those kind you wind up and... That would be funny. Maybe guys wouldn't take... Put that in your fucking G-string. Is your pussy tight? Yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir. Watch out. It'll bite you. Take your dick right off.

Oh, let's see here. The horny town. Okay this is pennsylvania yes it is so this is one that i was thinking about it condoms cannot cannot legally be sold in vending machines ever in pennsylvania i've seen that before though you've seen condoms in vending machines? Yeah, I've seen it actually. Where? In some bars. Oh, really? Like in the men's room? In the men's bathroom. Oh. And I actually think the one club you danced at by the Navy base, I'll put it that way. Okay, yeah, yeah. They had a vending machine. They had vending machines in the bathroom that had. Condoms in the.

Condoms and French ticklers. Oh, yeah. Wait, I do remember you telling me that. Yeah. That's funny. Yep. French tickler is a term I haven't heard of in a long time. Oh, a long time. Which basically was just like a rubber band with a couple little bumps on it. I thought it was like a condom that had little fringy things on the end.

But the ones I've seen were like a thick rubber band and then it had like this little finger rubber fingers come up so it's like you know you're gonna put that at the bottom of your dick i get the base i don't know because if you put on the top and you push your dick in it's gonna go right to the base anyway anyway no i thought it was the french ticklers were actually a type of type of condom that had like little bumps on it some of them did some of did i don't know i don't know i was you know someone always said we never buy a condom that had little bumps on it for her pleasure.

Some of them did. I don't know. Someone always said, never buy a condom from a vending machine. Sometimes they just go in there and they put them in and take a pin. Oh, no. That's terrible. Why would you want to do that? Like gas station sushi. I don't want to do that either. That's terrible. Here's one. Okay, we have to end the show. I just ran out of bourbon. Uh-oh. Sorry, hon. Thank you.

that's terrible uh here's one okay we have to end the show i just ran out of bourbon uh-oh sorry hon we can't okay thanks for all right yeah we have to refill we'll be back now here's one south dakota this one had to be an old old one i mean like 150 years ago or whatever it is illegal to use a covered wagon in any way for the purposes of prostitution a covered wagon really Thank you.

150 years ago or whatever it is illegal to use a covered wagon in any way for the purposes of prostitution a covered wagon really why don't you take this one off the book well yeah well well i mean or modernizing rv rv winnebago camper whatever i mean i or modernize it. Now, would they change it to RV? RV, Winnebago, camper, whatever. I mean, I've never been to South Dakota. Maybe they still use covered wagons there. Look at this one. I don't know. You're not going to be a high-speed chase from the police. No. That's what I'm thinking.

Some of these laws have just been on the book for 100 years or more. Yeah, and they get lost, and people don't remember they're there. They're not enforcing them, so it's not like an issue. No, they're not being enforced, that's for sure. In Tennessee, but particularly in the town of Skullbone. Ah, good old Skullbone. Yeah, well, this one must not be a, I don't know, this one just doesn't make sense.

A sense a woman may not quote pleasure a man who's operating a motor vehicle i mean it's like oh come on well you don't want to give somebody a blowjob while they're driving anyway so i don't but that's me um well it's like it happens it's my ex-wife used to love to do it oh my god that was her thing she she used to have a real fucking fetish for like when it's dangerous when you can't really do anything thrill almost getting caught yeah and everything else yeah they're back when she was tolerable oh my god yeah she yeah she'd love to suck dick when i driving.

If we were going someplace that was like 20 minutes or more, she was like, can I blow you? I'm like, okay. I'll be able to concentrate. It'll be fine. Yeah. Had to make sure there was enough time in the trip because otherwise you just get out of the car with a raging heart on. Exactly. You know, it's like, okay, we're going to circle this place. 45 minutes later. We're almost there.

Well, we just passed it 45 minutes later we're almost there well we just passed it i'm almost yep in texas anyone who has six or more quote obscene devices i.e dildos is presumed to possess them with intent to promote and promoting obscenity is illegal. You'd be busted. Oh, sure. First of all, I have more than six. That's what I'm saying. You'd be busted. And it is assumed to possess them with the intent to promote. What does that mean? People, I'm telling you, you need to have pleasure.

I can't do it do it justice, but I'm thinking that if I could do the quote or something from Music Man right here in this old city, it's like, you know, I don't know. It's like promote, like it's evil. God forbid you have an orgasm. Promoting obscenity is illegal.

You're not allowed to have orgasms orgasms no it's amazing how at one time sex was considered so evil and so like i told you before um dirty my grandfather you know my dad's side he felt that sex was only when you wanted to have children right and according to my grandmother before they both passed you know he only had sex when they were trying to have children once they had children they didn't have sex ever again that's like so weird it's like they had there's no pleasure associated with it was just like you got to get a heart on there's got to be some kind of pleasure associated with it otherwise you're not going to get a heart as uptight as he was yeah i don was, I think him getting a heart on to have sex to have kids was a trick.

And all they ever had was my dad. My dad's brother is from my grandmother's previous marriage. So you got to figure, my grandfather only stripped my grandmother a handful of times. Wow. They were married like 40 years, 50 years, something like that. Oh, God.

Something like that, I don i don't know but she had a drill full of dildos just saying no no or she pretty stoic but the funny part with that we'll get back to the laws right right is my grandmother apparently the first man she was married to was quite the sex maniac i remember the stories yeah she told stories like oh she'd be in the kitchen making dinner like they had guests over she'd be in there getting and her husband at that time would come in there and like drag her into the pantry and fuck her in the pantry and then you know go out and you know it's like oh sorry we got tied up in there we got tied up wink, wink, nod, nod.

But yeah, he, you know, he used to bang her like a Salvation Army drum. And then. And then she marries my, my grandfather. And, you know, it's like, you know. We only have sex for children and we're going to do that once. It's like, do you own a penis? That's terrible. That's. I know he had nuts because he used to wear shorts.

Oh, yeah yeah and those things used to hang out the bottom of his shorts all the time he wore boxers he had no support oh my god that's i'm sure if you saw what a sight i'm sure yeah he if he wasn't wearing anything those things were below his knee i'm pretty sure that my face is all scrunched up like i just swallowed a lemon yeah mine too it's like oh my god yeah i'm sitting here like god damn it i'm out of bourbon i can need i need more for that one that's terrible that visual i'm not sleeping tonight i can't unsee it yeah i didn't see it you're right in utah in um treyman treyman ton you cannot legally have sex while riding in an ambulance.

Really? Wow. You just took all the fun out of it for me. It's like. What's wrong with it? One, you're drawing attention because of the sirens. Two, you have an audience. And potentially, it could be like a little gangbang going on. It could be.

And the lights are on so people can see in the windows as you go by you know it's like oh they're fucking yeah hey that's not an oxygen mask nope no it is not yeah i just he's giving her mouth dick the mouth resuscitation i just wonder if our friend steven knows about that law he's from utah oh yeah he's broken a bunch of laws no i'm sure he's broken a whole lot of they're probably writing some laws for him i'm sure they are okay wait um speaking of the whole um vehicles in virginia you cannot have sex in your car no matter where you park it you can't have sex in your car that's it no matter where you park it there must be a lot of teenagers they're like fuck okay that's that's where i plan on getting laid well do you have to be driving it just says no very where does it matter where you park it okay i'm saying but so if you're driving is that the loophole i don't i don't know what the loophole is you know it's like well no we weren't no, we weren't parked.

No, we weren't parked, we weren't driving. And we even went 15 miles an hour in the school zone while we were fucking. That's very conscientious. Well, you got to be in safety first. Now, do you have to wear your seatbelt while you're fucking in a car? Oh, they don't mention that. You have to get an extra big seatbelt to hold both of you. That's true. And there's no pulling out at that point. It's like, you're getting a cream pie. Yeah, there's no way you can't come on her tits or pull out or whatever. Well, it depends how you put the seatbelt.

If you're 69, then you might be able to be strapped seatbelted in a 69 position. That's a tough one. I don't even know how to fucking...

you know it might be like that that time when i was with i remember the the guy was half my age and he was pick one no no no his name starts with an l and we were in the we shot him in the futon in the when was in the basement and i flipped up so my feet were over his shoulders and i was blowing him so it's kind of like a 69 but he was sitting yep so i guess you could do something like that in a car because yeah but if you seat belted in for safety well then the seat belt would have to go around my my waist or something here's the old age old story whether it's true or not about a couple was in the back of a van right and she was blowing them right and there was somebody else driving right and they hit a speed bump oh yeah and she chomped down and bit the head of his dick off i when you were talking about um your ex blowing you while you're driving that's one thing i'll be like nope no yeah i'm afraid to i made sure i didn't need i didn't go over your speed bumps where i would say speed bumps or speed bump hold on or break you have to break abruptly you know there goes your dick i yeah it wasn't something i was thinking about when there was a mouth on my dick yeah well i can't say much about my good about my ex-wife but other than she could suck dick yeah there you go at least there was something good from that relationship well i didn't say from the regime there's something good about good about nothing good about the relationship other my than my daughter's but oh sorry hon no don't be okay this is a weird one i i have it highlighted but i'm like i don't get it this is washington i'm not sure i would imagine this is washington state probably strippers are not legally allowed to wear devices which stimulate pubic hair what the whole the whole idea is to shave that fucking shit off stimulate pubic hair yes i guess for growth i don't know what i'm saying it's like if there's a device like that shouldn't i buy it for my head yeah exactly like stimulate the growth in my bald spot it's like how many people want to grow more pubic hair i mean again oh there are some people that are really into that there are people that are into it and years ago if you shaved in the 70s before the 70s even oh absolutely it was like oh my god you're sick you want to be you want a little kid or whatever it's like you know pubic hair was a thing well yeah well even when i was dancing nude in the i would say early 90s we you trimmed it up but you had something down there and one girl she's she she wanted to make into i guess you want to make into like a shape or something fucked up and she was like oh man so she shaved the whole whole thing off we did make fun of her and we're like oh nice bush but now it's like i would never dream of letting my hair grow in no way way.

It's a fashion statement, so to speak, I guess. Fashion, what to have hair or not have hair. Whichever way you prefer it. Yeah. I mean, I'm seeing more and more girls that are going back to it, and I think it's disgusting. I don't like a big, full poodle thing. I've seen – The poodle thing? On, like, different places you post. Right.

what other people putting up there's girls man that just it's fucking out of control harry and you see girls that's gross majority are still shaved i like if you're gonna have a hair keep it like a man's well-groomed beard would be thank you you know like yours i like it you know if you're gonna have hair okay nose tickler is cool keep the the pussy lips smooth you can have that little nose tickler and don't let it get out of control i don't want to poodle i don't be spitting out there's a guy going down on you i don't want to have to be like when i want to lick your clit i want i want to be able to get to it i don't want to lick through you know a fucking shag carpet exactly that we've talked about that before if i wanted to get your carpet i would you know get drunk and pass out on your floor there you go oh god oh here's another one with um in west virginia but this one it is illegal to transport any one sex worker or client to a place of prostitution so like uber drivers must be like ah what the fuck man this is so we have another place you can't drive street walkers they can't get a fucking ride yeah they gotta walk you can't get a ride it's illegal that's the name street walkers i guess so oh this this is a good one keeps them in shape i got my steps in today they got their little apple watches they're like yep yep if i keep walking around the block i'll I'll get all my steps in today they got their little apple watches and like yep yep if i keep walking around the block i'll i'll get all my steps in today this is disgusting yeah walk get all sweaty then go then go ahead yeah next in wisconsin in connersville to be uh more precise cheese no no it is illegal for a man to fire a gun while his partner is climaxing damn it i can't believe they can you do it while you're climaxing can i like shoot off 10 10 12 rounds like i'm coming but not not doing you nope i can't huh yeah can you can you imagine firing a gun how How many people must have been killed, I can't.

Huh? Yeah. Can you imagine firing a gun? How many people must have been killed, you know, just accidentally? Oh, why'd you fire your gun? Well, she was having a climb. Yeah, she was coming, so I shot her in the head. So I shot her in the head. Oh, my God. You can't have an orgasm before me. Oh, that's awful. That must be a very old law. I'm talking like, you know, 1870ss or something like that because it's like, really? Here's another one. It's like. And we pay these politicians and they make these laws. And they make these laws. Oh, my God. I know. They should be drugged and shot for sure.

Well. But not while they're climbing. Yeah, they're doing it. In Wyoming, in Newcastle, it is illegal to have sex in a walk-in freezer. Well, that's it, man. if I can to have sex in a walk-in freezer Well, that's it, man If I can't have sex in a walk-in freezer I don't want to have sex at all Well, it'll make your pussy tighter It's like, why the fuck would you even think about that?

If you want to give her a facial You can actually kill her The fucking cum drop was hardened as it come out And there's no evidence Wow, she looks like, wow, she looks like she was shot in the head, but we couldn't find a bullet or a bullet casing. I don't know. I don't know what happened there. That's just stupid.

Well, in Arkansas, adultery results in a fine of $20 to $ hundred dollars in california up to a thousand dollars now i don't know when this was created but you can actually be fine in california adultery is kind of think mandatory i think so yeah i don't know when these laws were made but it's like hey bob you you cheating on your wife no i love my wife you sick fuck what's wrong with you? You're not cheating on your wife. You suck. Get the fuck away from me. This is a stupid one. They're all stupid. This one's really stupid.

If a man's breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines in Alexandria, Minnesota, it's against the law to have sex with your wife. What? So you got sex with other people. But my wife likes when my breasts smell like the bottom of a trash can. My wife gets all turned on when it smells disgusting. I feel bad when we're messing around and I smoked a cigar earlier. That's got to be better than sardines.

Oh, yeah, that's just nasty is that that's just just awful just awful breath mints can't help that scope won't help that okay this is a stupid one too not to mention it shows you don't have taste in what you eat well they're not saying that you have that's like a caesar salad on fucking steroids well they didn't say that you ate all three together they just said or oh any of them any particular one yeah or any mix and match whatever oh honey i was looking to mess around here tonight but i had onions earlier but i had sardines earlier so oh wow you can't can't do it can't break the law no no breaking the law on that one and bozeman uh montana prohibits all sexual activity in the front lawn of a house after sundown but only in the nude which means back up on the front lawn yes it prohibits all sexual activity on the front lawn of a house after sundown but only in the nude okay you can't have sex in front lawn in the nude so if you throw some socks on sundown after sundown which means if you throw on some socks you won't get arrested well if she wears a short skirt and you just pull your dick out from your zipper you're fine you're fine okay or if it's after sundown a different time of day to the backyard go to the backyard back door in the backyard oh there's a couple here on the back i mean really this is again first of all politicians their job is not to to to come up with this shit it's their job is to like like normal things like don't kill people yeah keep keep everybody safe don't steal from people don't tell me where i can't like well if your dick is less than two inches you can't fuck a woman on wednesday you know i know oh in in harrisburg pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth but he was hot it's like have you seen the toll booth Have you seen truck drivers?

I don't know how they can fit in a toll booth but he was hot it's like have you seen the toll booth have you seen truck drivers i don't know how they can fit in a toll booth well do you just stop your truck between them and like i don't know i'm just gonna park here while i have sex with the truck what must have happened that they had to make this law like you said before did they catch somebody that there was a run on incidents or a bunch of them like all in a toll booth okay you sit on the side of the road you go i can see where we're in a truck stop okay i can see how this is in a toll booth yeah toll booth yeah it's like you have a sleeper in your truck if you're a long distance yeah it depends yeah if you have a sleeper in your truck you don't need to go through all this rigmarole pickup trucks okay you have a cap on yours it's absolutely no no no no just open where what kind of truck let's specify the kind of truck you know pickup trucks are considered a truck and they consider you know if it's an 18-wheeler it's considered a truck you know where is it a box truck a delivery truck it just says truck driver that's all it says you maybe he doesn't identify as a truck oh come on well don't make this more convoluted than it already is there's you know i'm going to be a lawyer it doesn't specify whether he is a you know did he identify as a truck driver or go ahead keeping with the whole car driver's theme the cars okay in cottonwood arizona couples having sex in a vehicle with flat wheels like flat tires will be fined the find will be doubled if sex occurs in the back seat what yeah that makes perfect sense you can have sex in a car is the back seat and all your wheels have to be flat so if you're having sex in the back seat but it'll be doubled if you're having sex in the back seat and you have air in the tires you're fine you're fine yeah oh okay i'm good with that apparently i don't know just i mean obviously because if you have four flat tires you have bigger issues than having sex uh yeah that's true sure okay i get that oh here's the other one the walk-in freezer again it's so stupid oh this is really teeth chatter she might bite your dick off i don't know i don't get the whole meat freezer thing i'm guessing walk-in freezer i don't okay an oblong uh that's a weird name illinois it is punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day what well who cares what you do on your wedding day well come on you got to get wedding pictures look at the bass i caught so you you can't have sex while hunting or fishing well who says who says sex is firearms aren't you know a good thing i i well the one was shooting him in the if you had an orgasm so shoot your gun off then you have an orgasm so i guess it's okay well instead of having a you know at your reception having a catered you go kill your fucking food yeah you bring it in and you just eat it there all right shot me a deer we're gonna have a reception oh it might be pretty good you know i mean We'll be right back.

go kill your fucking food yeah you bring it in you just eat it there all right not to shop me a deer we're gonna have a reception oh it might be pretty good you know i mean gotta butcher it yeah you know you don't get all that shit on your tux somebody else these are my good overalls these are my good overalls i can't can't keep me getting blood on these these are my sunday ones these are my sund Sunday overalls. This is my Sunday going to church overalls. My going to meeting overalls. I can't be getting some fish scales and shit on this. This is my wedding overalls. My wedding overalls.

Can't be getting entrails from the deer I just shot a little bit of them. I haven't trimmed my toenails for this. Oh, man. Go ahead. Okay, this is equally as disgusting. Of course, there's one that's actually stupid, but I'll get to the stupid one afterwards. In Minnesota, it's illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish. What? I thought a dead fish would just be wrong. It's just like, why do they have laws for this? I went to feedback. I love when the fish sits at their mouth. Oh It could be sunny. A guppy.

The little fish makes you feel like being important, like you can't take it.

like yeah take it fish take it that's awful fish explodes oh that's that's disgusting now that's that's animal abuse but i can't have that even their fish nope no no that's the way he looked at me no his longing eyes one on each side of the head you know oh my god it kept saying it went to go back in the water but I knew it wanted sex that's just awful it would have jumped on my hook if it didn't want me well that's a good point it wouldn't have even jumped on that hook at all it would be like no I'm not it saw the worm as a symbology of penis yep and it came in with the bite it it's like oh my god I'm a penis yep so it was the symbolism symbolism Saint's reference yes it was Oxford Ohio it is illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing not in my world while standing in front of a man's picture his picture it's illegal yeah it should be you should do it in front of the man see that would make more sense maybe that's why if you won't get if you won't get naked in front of me you should not get naked in front of my picture it's do it in front of me first then we're okay okay i guess that makes sense okay all I guess that, I just thought the whole thing was really stupid.

No, perfect sense. Yeah, perfect sense. Okay. I have one more, and it's really disgusting. I don't know. It's Utah again, so. Okay. Okay. Stephen's world. Yep. But sex with an animal, unless performed for profit, is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal. Sex with an animal for profit? Ah, sex with an animal, unless performed for profit, is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal. So if you're performing for profit... That is the worst one I've heard yet. Yep, that's terrible. Any sex with animals should be illegal and you should be put down. Not the animal, you should be put down.

Yeah, it's terrible. Okay, so while we're in the discussion, how about if the animal has sodomy with you? Oh, see, then it's a different... Then it's fine, yeah. Okay. Okay, so there is some civility there. Okay. Yeah, these are basically redundant, the ones you've ordered. Wow. Well, that's been 50 minutes of boredom. Some of them are pretty disgusting and stupid and disturbing.

These are people that have no other, oh we should take care of the homeless and feed the starving lower taxes no what about if you know the other day when i was fishing i thought about fucking the fish well joe that's wrong you can't do that again what must have happened that they make these laws and most people be like well i wouldn't even think about doing that so there must be a reason why these laws were created somebody must have been breaking the law during turnpike i saw this truck driving he was in the toll booths i wanted to fuck him right there and at their toll booth oh my god that's awful oh boy he moved outside the toll booth it wasn't interesting right in that toll toll booth.

Oh, my God, that's awful. Oh, boy. He moved outside of that toll booth? It wasn't interesting. Right in that toll booth. Right in that toll booth. I wanted to take his 18-wheeler and give him a two-wheeler. Right there in that toll booth. I was going to pay his fucking toll.

Give him my toll gate Your toll gate Oh my god So if you guys are out there And you're thinking about some of the laws Look them up We couldn't make this shit up We're not that creative And some of them obviously are definitely very archaic And from a couple centuries ago So you know If you're being attacked by Raid of Indians While you're doing your wagon Thank you. Why? Yes, exactly. I'd like the light show. I don't know.

Yeah, the one with the covered wagon i was like what the fuck can't use it for prostitution maybe they should like upgrade that law if it's still a law if they really minivan it's a minivan or like i said winnebago or whatever but covered wagon yeah i don't think anybody's gonna be having uh using a covered wagon for prostitution i i really, I don't think that's going to happen. Yeah. It's like ridiculous. Now these laws are, well, whatever you do in the, in the privacy of your own bedroom should be. Or a toll booth.

Or a toll booth should be of your discretion and everybody should be, you know, on board with it. You can fuck whatever truck driver you want. There you go. If it's your pond, fuck the hell out of the fish. That's disgusting. I'm surprised it didn't say something about birds or something in here. They got claws. That's true. That's just, I don't. There's some sick fucks out there. What is worse, the laws or the stupid people that came up with these?

Well, there had to be a reason for these laws to come about so okay we'll include those in the stupid people yeah the stupid people you know it's just like wow what would make you think that that would be appropriate to do anal sex or kiss somebody that you're not married to well that's just stupid well sorry i don't know You've worked in times a hundred thousand times i know about a million i'm not that anyway well this week's not over yet that's true it's been a late week so you know it could it could spruce up a bit i might be able to break some more laws do you know what's not wrong what's wrongunk Lube is definitely not wrong.

Not wrong. Check them out, spunklube.com. Great products. Go to the website in the discount code area. Put in Hot Wife, all one word. Get 10% discount. Or go to our website, hotwifepodcast.com, and click on the banner. It'll take you there and automatically apply the 10% discount. Oh, that's nice. Again, if you have a topic or you want to talk to us about something, a comment, a question, um, or whatever, you can email us at hot wife podcast at gmail.com. And if you want to see your, what Donna is up to. Sorry, I was burping because of my, my drink, my rum and Coke.

Uh, you can get, you can see what I'm doing at hotwifedonnalyn.com. And I'm always adding videos and editing videos and having some fun with that. And I'm going to be breaking more laws, damn it. And when I'm doing it, I'm going to be like, yep, I'm breaking the law. I'm going to be having anal sex and vaginal sex at the same time. So there. I feel like Jesse James now. Fucking an asshole? I might be doing that later on tonight. Then that would be you. Wow. Wow. That calls for less. Yes, it does. So when I orgasm, you can take your gun and shoot it off. And we could be like, you know.

Do I have to be careful where I point it? That would be preferable. For who? For me, obviously. I'll be in the throes of ecstasy. I won't know what's going on. Yeah, okay.

But, again, we challenge all of you to appreciate the listeners and challenge you to tell one or two friends about the podcast and see if they want to listen and hopefully enjoy it in today's mad world again ask you to pray to whoever it is you do or don't just ask for just let's try to get some civility and sanity going on and some peace and learn to curb your anger at uh at people and let's try to all get along it's uh it's a brutal time right now um and uh hopefully this podcast can help a small vacation from the craziness yeah we have fun it's's our therapy.

And hopefully it gives you a few seconds of relief. So, but yeah. So that's what we came up with, with the crazy laws coming around. So like I said, check on the internet. Just type in, you know, crazy sex laws in the U.S. and you'll get some of the same results we got. Unbelievable. So I want to thank you for listening. And until the next show yeah don't bring any laws everybody or break them all okay good night