Sexual Myths

Transcript

hi this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast never gets old does it the intro is playing and he's grabbing his boobs. Just like you do. Yeah, exactly. Both of us are doing the same thing and mouthing the words. It's not my hot wife. You're a hot wife. I told you, it was all in joke. We can record it differently if you want to. No, it's a hot wife, not a hot husband. Aw. And I'm not a hot husband. Aw, I guess you are. And that's part of tonight's topic is myths. Yes. So we're going to deal with sexual myths tonight. Myths. Myths. Get that to you. That's a tough word.

I've been drinking. Obviously. Yeah. Geez, I go to work and I come home and he's like. Well, I was at work too. Oh. But then I came home and I cut the lawn and hurt my back. Aw. So I had to kill. Oh, excuses are excuses. Myths. Let's get started. I go to work and I come home and he's like. Well, I was at work too. But then I came home and I cut the lawn and hurt my back. And so I had to kill. Oh, excuses are excuses. Myth. Excuses. Sexual myths. Yes. Sexual myths. We have so many. One of the first sexual myths is that you find me sexy. Well, I said there's alcohol involved, like you said.

So there you go. I mean, roofies and alcohol go a long way, man. That's like the aphrodisiac of, you know. Would you ever try mean roofies and alcohol Go a long way man That's like the aphrodisiac Of you know Would you ever try roofies? No Okay just ask I figure my memory's already fucked up So I want to remember things Like I already have enough trouble No you don't want to remember Well there's certain instances I don't want to remember But Do you remember the last time we had sex? Yeah When was it?

It was the night before last night before last that's two nights ago two nights ago okay that's what i'm saying yeah see if you if you wanted to remember it well we ran our roofies i'll reorder some more yeah amazon will have me in the next day or two i have a prescription i go to my doctor can you give me some roofies i want like a three month prescription roofies have you seen my husband i don't want to remember and you go to the doctor and then you say have you seen my wife so there you go and he's like yeah i want to do your wife oh that's not even true i'm sure he does oh stop it you go in for a ear exam and he's like you kind of get naked he puts the rubber gloves on it says in a whole like but we have to do a vaginal exam um but it's my ear infection oh well it could relate to your pussy yeah it really comes from the pussy i swear to god yeah okay i'm gonna knock this anyway so tonight uh today whatever you want to call it um well, let's back up.

Let's stop. Okay. So I'm going to officially announce today is the 13th of May. It is a Saturday. I have the wrong calendar up. I don't have my phone. Okay. Oh, that's right. You wanted to start doing. We're going to start doing live broadcasts on a Saturday night. If he's sober enough. Well, don't count on that. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. You're doing everything, don't you? Do you really have an alcohol problem? What the fuck, man? Yeah, one mouth, two hands. So tonight's the 13th. So the 20th. Okay, on the 20th we'll start doing live calls.

Yeah, if I knew it was the 13th, I could add seven days. So next Saturday, next Saturday. Okay. We're actually, we're recording this show for the Thursday show. Because we already did the Monday show. Okay. We record this show ahead of time. I don't know when you upload things. Yeah. Should we be having this conversation? This is really pretty boring, so not exactly sexy at all. No, it's fine. These people hopefully will be interested. They listen to the other shit already. What the fuck's the difference? So this show is going to go out on the 11th. Okay? So on the...

You can't go out on the 11th. Today's the 13th. The 18th. I've been drinking, yes. Oh my god. On the 18th. This will be the 18th, okay? So on the 20th, we're going to look for some posts on Twitter at hotwifepodcast.com, hotwifepodcast, period.

They'll give you more of the details of next saturday night we are going to start doing a live podcast okay and you can call in we're actually going to have a phone number and if you want to call in and contribute yeah we don't know it ask questions well i know the number but i'm not gonna give it out yet because you call it and you're not going to do anything. Right. But we'll give that out later in the week. I didn't know you had gotten a number. Yeah, no, I got the number. Oh, there you go. Yeah. We talked earlier. I went to Skype and bought the number. Oh, there you go.

And they told me, I just bought the fucking number. And they're like, I'm sorry, you're blocked. I'm like, I didn't do any fucking thing. I just paid for the fucking number. So I had to get online with fucking Microsoft, who owns Skype, and go, why the fuck did you block my number? I just bought this. I didn't do anything. How did I violate anything? And they were like, oh, I'll clear that up for you. So they cleared it up. So the number is clear. They knew it was you. They're like, oh, that's Vince. Oh, he's blocked. You think that was it? Yeah, they knew who you were. Probably. Oh, already.

Your reputation precedes you. And they're like, oh, block him. Wow, thanks. Truth hurts. So anyway, so next Saturday, the 20th, we will actually be doing a live broadcast. I think you're going to have to go to the website for the podcast for that, which would be hotwifepodcast.online. I have no idea. I don't think you're going to be able to see the live ones on Apple or all the other ones.

i think it's only going to be through um our speaker feed which will be on our website so but i'll clarify all that before so look for it during the week look for posts on on twitter for that i don't know if i like that well um all the other platforms that were on like iheart radio and stuff like that i don't think they have the availability for that so well we host through spreaker right and spreaker's um embedded in our website yeah so which is fine you're just going to go to hotwifepodcast.online. Right. And you'll be able to get the show live. You'll be able to get the show un-live. Dead.

Later, you know. Oh, so. After that. But if you want to actually talk to us live and hear the show live. So I'm going to say if you want to hear it pre-recorded, it'll still be up on all the other platforms. Yeah, it'll be up pre-recorded. But if you want to actually be on the show as we're recording it live and actually call in and interact with us for whatever reason. If you don't want to do that, what the fuck? We've done it in the past and didn't have great success, but hopefully that'll start changing. We'll see. Well, I don't know.

There's always somebody who's like, you know, just hogs up all the time and doesn't, you know. Well, fuck out i could hang up on them it's like be respectful other people might want to call in besides one person yeah that bourbon went down the wrong pipe um so yeah that that'll be one thing i'll tell you is when we do the live show if we have people or a person um monopolizing time Right. Just like regular shows, I'll be able to disconnect you. Yep. So, but if you're someone of interest in everything else, you'll stay on. Yeah. But if you're someone who's not of interest or whatever.

Or just keeps rambling. Yeah, whatever. Randy. I know. You know exactly what I was talking about. Yeah, there was podcasts I did a long time ago for a different adult network. There's one person there a long time ago for a different adult network and then there was one guy he's a great guy but he just yeah he would we'd hang up on him and he'd call right the fuck back but anyway so hey i was disconnected yes you were yes you were get the fucking hint um, so tonight our theme is... Sexual myths. What was it? Sexual myths. See, you say it. That's a tough word, myths.

Yeah, I think it's because I have a bit of an overbite and getting my tongue up in there to... It's just a weird word. It doesn't matter if you do or don't. It's a weird word, myths. Myth? Myth. Yeah. Especially at the... Myths. Because you think we have the foam on these microphones. Yeah, I know. Otherwise, you'd be spitting all over them. Yeah, we'd put to my new microphones. Okay. So, I went to two different sites. One was... What was the first one? I don't... Well, it was from Allure Magazine. Allure Magazine. And the other one, I think, was Newsweek.

They did a survey for sexual myths so um i just printed them out and i gave them to donna i haven't really gotten a chance to look over no i don't want you to i want you to just i'm just going right down the list here because some of them are like oh yeah okay well but this is these are the myths over the years oh yeah i I mean, I know one of them is like getting pregnant from a toilet seat. I think I read that in there somewhere. Oh, really? Oh, my goodness. I mean, you're not going to get pregnant from a toilet seat. Unless you've got the toilet seat like inside your snatch.

Yeah, well, you know. Maybe. Do you sit on top or do you fucking embed it in your pussy? Yeah don't know i don't know how that would happen whatever you're into yeah i know so read the first one pick any page i'm just i am that's what i'm doing anyone but this one is is actually kind of good intercourse alone can bring a woman to orgasm okay um what's the little verbiage after that? Oh, it just says roughly 75% of women never orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. They need direct clitoral stimulation.

If couples want to climax simultaneously during intercourse, the best bet is for one of them to use their fingers or vibrator to bring some joy to the clitoris or clitoris, depending on your pronunciation. Pronunciation, ooh. Yeah. So, yeah, I agree with that because I, although having insertion can be nice, I need the clitoral stimulation to get me up to that point that insertion then heightens it.

Well, I actually think, let me see if I'm going to get this off off here you're kind of weird um um yes i'm looking over my well i'm using reading glasses are meant for up close and i'm looking across the room that's what i'm doing that down um okay so tell me if i'm wrong or right or somewhere in between um the during sex whether you come while a guy is fucking you or not a lot of times has to depend on one how turned on you are by the guy well yeah that helps a whole lot okay so it determines like um how much foreplay exactly and and even before we sexual contact there's just you know there's times like before you know while clothes are still on the contact the kissing the conversation right that all adds to oh yeah that now again we're looking at it from shooting a content thing not a a romance thing.

Yeah, let's pretend you were meeting a guy, someone like Mickey is an example. She goes and meets a guy for a cup of coffee, has conversation, and establishes a level of arousal before. Right, exactly. Okay. So. Sexual interest, if you were. Yeah. So there's a level of arousal that goes on before any touching or whatever goes on. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, as a woman, woman tell me so if you're talking with a gentleman or a woman right uh say you were meeting someone for coffee and you're in a public place and you're talking you're starting to develop whether you're aroused by this gentleman or not or person just put it that way yeah oh yeah exactly and you're already starting to think whether it's like yeah i'm gonna fuck him or no he can go to fuck home yeah you're you're right and and sometimes you have like just normal conversation and that's and that's actually kind of nice it's just no sexual nothing just you know how you know, what your life is like.

And that's really great in that you can establish whether a person is going to be compatible for you or not. Okay, define compatible. Are you looking for compatibility as far as like, well, I could have a relationship with this guy? Or are you looking like, yeah, I want to fuck him? Well, compatibility in the bedroom, yes. Okay. I mean, I have to have like some kind of a connection outside the bedroom. Especially, I'm going back to like the hot dates. If they're just fun to fuck, I may not want to hang out with them on a hot date. You know what I'm saying?

But do you know that before the hot date? Yeah. Okay. If I played with them before. Sure. And we't go on a hot date before i you and i have to establish some kind of a relationship with them ahead of time in all fairness like when someone comes over who like tomorrow we have a new gentleman okay we're going to spend an hour with him conversing filling out paperwork the releases and stuff we're kind of kind of get a feel for them. Yeah, easy to do. So, but let's pretend that part didn't happen. Okay. So the guy shows up. No releases need to be signed. Okay. Let's pretend. Okay. Okay.

So how long would it take you to sit there besides the visual of like okay he's a good looking guy what more would it take for you to sit and go yeah i think i want to fuck him um it depends on what the foreplay is like at that point well you haven't gotten to the foreplay you haven't entered the bedroom oh okay you haven't um i guess the only thing i have to go on is is the visual package is it is it a matter of like okay he's like we'll say we have conversation okay he's a conversation i'm saying he shows up there's no there's no release so we don't have so we're gonna have general you're gonna have general conversation with him like know, hey, what, I mean, what were your questions?

Like, so how was your drive? You know, how long did it take to get here? What, you know. Then you go into things like, okay, what do you eat? Now you have conversations with them prior to them getting here. Like, what are you into? Sometimes, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they're not as giving, you know, that they don't have to really, it's like pulling teeth. Now, how important is it if they send you dick pics or whatever? Not that important. Okay. I'm asking. Everyone's different. Yeah. Everyone's different. I mean, I like more face pictures and, you know, general body pictures.

Dick is nice afterwards. At least I know I'm jumping into it. Is it more important for them to tell you, hey, I really enjoy eating pussy or enjoy getting my balls licked? Oh, that's helpful. Yeah, all that plays into it. Sure, the more information you have, the better you can... Okay, what information can they give you that helps arouse you more?

So let's pretend you and I didn't know each other i know it's something you dream about i do i dream all the time so it's like yeah and i'm not interested what about my asshole you don't want to know i'm greasing my hand up right now my fist it doesn't matter if i grease mine we want to play colonoscopy i don't have to grease mine up it just goes to fucking well i do it i keep having these nightmares and i fall into this big deep hole strap aboard your ass babe strap aboard your hands put your goggles on it's a 16foot board and it still doesn't touch the sides. Anyway. But no, so.

Where are we going with this? I'm not sure. I'm really not sure. We're talking in circles here, bud. Circles? Really? We're talking in circles. No, I'm trying to find out from, like, let's pretend I wasn't involved. Okay. Let's pretend you're someone like Mickey, meeting other... How long would it take for me to figure out if I want to fuck a guy? If you're going to go meet a guy, like, I'll speak to Mickey as an example. Right. She goes, meets a guy for coffee at some coffee destination. Okay? I don't know which, where she goes. Doesn't matter. Whatever, it's irrelevant.

So, you meet a guy in a public place. Sure. Okay. What's that dialogue look like before you realize, like, yeah, I want to fuck him. How easy is he to talk to? Do I have to, like, pull a conversation out of him? Okay, but first, there's a visual. There's a visual, then how easy is he to talk to? Looks good. Okay. Nice looking guy. Decent shape. Does he have a sense of humor? Doesn't have to be impeccable shape. No, no, decent shape. Sense of humor is a huge one. Sense of humor. That's why you like me. Yeah, exactly. Okay. How easy is he to talk to?

If I have to like struggle to get conversation out of him, it's going to be really laborious. I'm just not going to want to. Oh, laborious. That's a solubles. I'm just not going to want to. You know, it makes it harder. It makes it more difficult. But if he's easy to talk to, within 20 minutes to an hour, I'll be like, yeah, he'd be fun to fuck. If he's easy to talk to, he's very amiable. So even without seeing any penis pictures. Don't need to see a penis picture. Don't need to. Okay. So he could be sporting two or 12 inches. You don't care. Doesn't matter. Okay. Not to me.

I'm just putting it out there. I'm asking questions. And again, having insertion isn't what makes me cum anyway. It's the whole package. And I don't mean the package down there. No, we're getting to that. So you're going to be more, the person is going to arouse you more than the visual. Or the instrument. Okay. If you're just going by the instrument. I'm lumping that into the visual. If it's just the instrument, I can use a fucking dildo or vibrator. Why are you looking at me that? I'm sorry, I'll look the other way then. I'm looking over here. You're not sure. Dildo. What are you like?

Dildo. Just like open the eyes real hot and look at me like dildo. I did not look my eyes at you. I did not do that. All right. I'm going to look at the ceiling. Oh, just a quick little public service announcement. Okay. Janice, I need pictures. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, he's really disappointed. He's like, open up the ears. I sent her pictures of me. Oh, did you? Just facial. Oh, my goodness. Nothing. She doesn't need to see the other. Just be disappointed. Did you show her any, like, feet pictures? Do you like guys with eight toes? Hey, baby. It's very arousing.

And again, you know what's really great with eight toes? Spunk lube. Really? How does that work? Well, Spunk Lube is a great lubricant. Go to spunklube.com. If you're looking for a good lubricant that's water-soluble and fits in every occasion, you need Spunk Lube. Shameless plug. Hey. You know? That's fine. Anyway.

But, okay, so that's that myth we'll wrap that one up yeah okay give us give us another myth all right let's go with another myth what's the next myth something a little more edgy something like far-fetched oh give me something give me something to work with uh okay men must ejaculate to experience sexual pleasure? I believe that. They must ejaculate? Yeah. No, I believe that. Okay. Majority of men, and not true in every case, I actually think most men are not satisfied if they don't. I would say 90% of men are not happy unless they achieve orgasm. Ejaculate. orgasm. The same thing. You think?

You're not going to ejaculate. If you have an orgasm, you're going to ejaculate. Okay, let me read the reality here. Okay.

A very common belief for women who must focus on trying to get you to that point, but ask any man who has learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation i just lost my place here uh and he will tell you there are many benefits from non-ejaculatory orgasm well okay you're sure it's not your goal your only goal well okay to have him ejaculate well i i can speak to both of either side of this no well hang on i can speak to either side of this oh boy i honestly think yes majority of men uh-huh are not happy unless they achieve orgasm but they're saying ejaculation and orgasm are can be two separate they are they are okay like i mean the last party We'll be right back.

But ejaculation and orgasm can be two separate instances. They are. They are. Okay. Like, I mean, the last party, my pants never came off. No, they didn't. Okay. I achieved great satisfaction by giving these four women multiple orgasms each. Yes, I know that about you. Now, you made up for it. But I'm a person who enjoys giving pleasure. Not that I don't enjoy getting pleasure. Right. But these women were so focused on the pleasure I was giving, not one of them offered to give me pleasure. I don't think they could have done it. Well, I don't think they had the power.

Yeah, they were so wrung out. It was like, I can't even. Yeah, they looked like a truck hit them. But I'm just saying. No, I don't think that's the thing. I think that enjoying giving pleasure is different than either A, having an orgasm or ejaculation, which is, this is the myth here. Well, okay. That they're separating orgasm and ejaculation.

E this is the myth here well okay that they're they're separating orgasm and ejaculation like they're two separate yeah entities i get that um are they two separate entities i mean i'm not a squirter so i when i come there's no no ejaculate a womanly ejaculate i don't squirt so most i i think and i could be wrong i've been wrong about a lot of things like being happily married oh yeah but um i think most men equate being satisfied with achieving an orgasm how many how many but they're saying there's're saying there's a separation between orgasm and ejaculation. They're two separate entities.

No, they can't be. It says here, but ask any man who has learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation. How do you separate... Wait, let me continue. Please, excuse me. I'll cut your microphone right to the bottom i know i know you will and he will tell you there are many benefits from non-ejaculatory orgasm okay how do you have an orgasm without ejaculation that's a whole other can of worms i don't know that's what i'm saying do you understand that i don's answering this question, is it? I don't know. No, I don't think a man can achieve orgasm without ejaculation. For all intents and purposes.

Yeah, I see the two being very interconnected, too. But they say that's a myth. My theory is what they're trying to say is a guy can be happy without achieving orgasm. No, they're saying orgasm and ejaculation. No, they're kind of the same thing. I mean. Every guy I know, his achievement is to. Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Which isn't. An orgasm. Thank you.

Because the end result from an orgasm for a male as far as i understand is ejaculation now i'm just saying again i've said this in the past i'll say it now right i achieve orgasm but i don't have ejaculation yeah but it just goes into your bladder it goes in my bladder it's just a weird thing that's going on here no big deal there's a name for it I don't know the name right now we'll have to do it's another show we don't fucking know but it does but it does happen it's just not yeah nothing comes out but I achieve stronger orgasms now than I did before I ejaculated you should see him and his back marches up and toes curl I'll shut your microphone let's do this okay she doesn't know what she's talking about hey I can yell Thank you.

Back archers up and toes twirling. I'll shut your microphone. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Hey, I can yell. Fucker. Lord, I know that. But ultimately, your goal, even for a woman, is to achieve orgasm. Yeah. And my point was was how many men have you been with and we can't count that many oh god no i've been here for days are more worried about their orgasm than yours they don't give you we've had numerous guys that play with you that don't do oral right worry about you getting your orgasm they get theirs and then they're done. Right.

It's not a big thing for you because you know, ultimately you're going to get one or so for me. Yeah. I'm yeah. It's like, it's, it's not like you're being short changed. Not at all. Not at all. And I'm also, I also feel like I'm in our circumstances different. I feel like i'm playing hostess and i want them to be comfortable and i want them to have well and again you know the most fun possible but even okay let's go to the porn realm i'll use that word sure um is in the porn realm, the videotaping of a woman getting oral sex isn't as attractive as a man getting oral or fucking. Yep, I agree.

There's not as much you can see when a man's face is buried into her crotch. Right. Now, 60-90 is not too bad because... Well, but again, you're only seeing really, for the most part, one end. Yep, exactly. Okay? Exactly. You might see his eyebrows poking out over her ass. Yep. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Nope, not a bad thing. Okay. But you're not getting... Right. You know, a guy's face has to get in there deep and doesn't move around, where a woman's face goes in, goes out, goes in, goes out. That's it now. Goes in, goes out. How would you know that?

i've heard from friends okay that's what i thought but um um but so yeah i think ultimately it's about i mean orgasm and ejaculation for the most part are hand in hand i yeah that... I've been wrong plenty of times. Like, oh, I'll be happy with my second marriage. Well, you were wrong on that one. Goddamn right I was wrong. I'm going to open me... My third marriage will be better. Yeah, right. I'm going to get married a third time. Oh, there you go. Is my microphone still on? Yes, it is. Oh, shit. Oh, well. Well, Janice and I will be happy. Oh, I'm sure you will be.

Big titties yeah double d titties she sends them to me yeah yeah wait we send her spunk move i'm gonna see that little pussy of her oh okay here we go just should i go move on to it is my microphone still on yes it, shit. Keep these thoughts in your head, please. Oh, my God. People are going to think you're a psycho killer. You told me I couldn't talk about killing people. No, stop. All right. Anyway, so, okay, another myth. Let's move on. Let's go with another myth, please, for God's sake. Sure, please do. Now, where are we getting this one from? I think this is from the...

Is this from Allure? No, this is from the... Is this from Allure? No, this is from the other... Go to Allures. Okay, let's go to Allure then. From Allure Magazine. Oh, well, this is one that, you know... Pick one at random. I am. I just... Number one, you can't get pregnant if you're on top during vaginal sex. Eh. Beep. Untrue. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Come on. It doesn't matter what... I mean... They're like...

Did they like did they said even in here said you can be doing you know um somersaults it doesn't matter the sperm's gonna go the sperm's gonna go again if it's a cream pie you know they're they're in the track they're running yeah they're in there whether upside down or up you know people like you know let it drip out it doesn't matter but i told you i believe i told the story early on i had a friend in yeah in school that um great guy wasn't the sharpest tack in the box didn't know his biology let's put it that way no in general, okay. It wasn't the sharpest tack in the box. Nice guy.

Great guy. A little slow. Dating this great, beautiful, sexy, freaking Vietnamese girl. Wow. And he came to me one day, and he had said to me, he says, like, can I get her pregnant if I do anal? Oh, boy. And it's like, oh. Dude, it's a whole different pipe system. Different highway. Different highway, different pipe, different. Yeah, that highway goes someplace else. There's no. Because she was like, well, I'm saving myself for marriage. You can fuck my ass. Oh, wow. But not the other highway. I would have fucking drived that highway. I'm sure. That Hershey highway. She was fucking hottie.

Yeah. I wonder if he ever did it. Oh, drove her ass? Oh, yeah, he did for a couple of years. Oh, did he? Yeah, yeah. God bless him. Oh, there you go. Jealous. I lived vicariously through him. But, um. How many people have, you know, do anal, but, oh, no, I'm seeing. You're welcome.

years oh did he yeah yeah god bless him oh there you go the vicariously through but um how many people have you know do anal but oh no yeah i mean how many people want to do anal and she's like oh she's like no you can my ass like oh my god i love you how there's so many guys are like um you doing oh my god i've always wanted to do anal i'm like oh there she has She's like, no, you can only fuck my ass. You can only fuck my ass. It's like. Oh, there you go. Now, do people only want ass because they generally can't have it? I guess. It's the forbidden fruit. I think so. Okay, just checking.

Yeah, I think so. And you went with the whole thing when we got together, like, whatever you want. And it's like, oh, I want this. Eh, go ahead. That took the fun out of me. I'm sorry, should I have fought you more? She said, no, you can't have that. No, you can have that, sure. Well, what about this? Yeah, you can have that. Just too damn easy. Can I kiss you? Oh, sure. God damn it. Can I have your ass? Oh, sure. I was like, okay. That's not so much fun. Okay. Okay. So next myth. Oh. Anal doesn't count as sex. Well, that kind of gets back to the cheating show we did previously.

Yeah, it's like. Anal doesn't count as sex. I think the papers are out of order here, but. Well, it's okay. Let's think about it from this end.

so it's like anal doesn't count as sex so i think let's think about it order here but well it's okay let's think about it from this end so it's like oh my wife met with some guy went to a hotel and only let him fuck her ass that wasn't cheating that wasn't cheating that's not sex at all okay i want to meet that guy goes no that wasn't cheating oh wait a minute this is really you were just talking about that with the anal thing and the little blurb after is saying i once had a friend in high school who told me she would only have anal with her boyfriend because she was saving herself for marriage yeah you want to give the hymen to you know someone special i actually think the assholes are for someone special you?

I think you're right. Take the shit out of my hymen, but fucking save my ass for someone special. I mean, for me, I mean, I can do anal sex pretty easily now, but it took a lot to get me, you know, a lot of practicing and then, you know. A lot of fisting. A lot of fisting. Choke on a bitch. Not choking at all. Okay. But you are choking. No, I'm not choking. Yes, you are. It's good bourbon. Oh, yeah, my ass. That's good, too. Okay. All right. Am I going to get some tonight? Okay, another night. Oh, yes, you are, dear. Is it a day that ends in Y? I'm not getting it. God damn it.

Does it end in Z? It's Saturday. Saturdays. S-A-T-Y. Fuck, I'm getting it. All right, if you have a lot of sex, your vagina will get loose. I don't know. Your vagina, is your vagina going to get loose if you have lots of sex? My vagina is still tight. I bet your vagina is very tight. Yeah. Do I have a vagina? I hope not. I don't think I do.

Okay, well, this is completely untrue um it says in female anatomy is an excellent visual weight the sight uh think about a hand towel stuffed inside of a thick sock squeezed by two hands what the fuck was that yeah it's okay actually move on to another one wow it's like they went into this whole big thing of like um the the muscles remember is what they're trying to say like think of like your vagina is two hands squeezing on a thick sock it's it's not going to get loose but i don't i don't know i don't think it's true there's no way i could just go do go and do fisting right away well i have to there was a gentleman you met that like he had like a fucking beer can 12 inch dick lord it's like no that isn't getting in to begin with yet alone remembering it no yeah no he was disappointed i think he has a probably the hard time getting any woman i mean you know unless you gave birth to like fucking quintuplets and like they all came out holding hands side to side.

Yeah, really? Came out together singing and doing a fucking chorus line. Yeah, a chorus line. That's what I was thinking. A chorus line. Yeah. No way. Okay. Next one. You can't get STDs from oral sex. Okay. What's that say? We harp on the importance of using condoms during sex.

We haven't put tongue condom on well they have what they're called they're called tongue what there is like a condom for your mouth wow i can't think what they're called right now well stds can in fact be transmitted during oral sex not just anal or vaginal you can spread chlamydia uh gonorrhea trichemosis herpes syphilis blah common cold common cold hiv during oral huh to prevent infection use a condom or dental dental dam dental dam that's it bobbing tested for stds on a regular basis sure that I go daily. It takes all the sexiness. I love going to the CVS and like, I'm here for STD testing.

It's like, Vince, you were here yesterday. I know, I had sex last night. Did you have sex last night? No, I just want to be tested. I want to be tested. I was thinking about sex. I want to be tested require you, like, touching my balls. You know, I always heard that actually your saliva has some protection against certain... Yeah, I've heard that, too. I've heard that, too, that it kind of kills some stuff. Pathogens. Yeah, I don't know. Not all STDs necessary, but certain pathogens, like your saliva. Is it me? You don't hear as much about STDs nowadays. Not as much. I don't know.

Is it more condom use? Is it, you know, is it? I don't know. I like Eddie Murphy. He did the one, I don't know if it was Raw. One of the shows he did, he talked about like STDs and he talked about, we're going to get to the point where you put your dick in and you explode. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like, ooh, I should get checked out. That's always funny as shit. Yeah, I don't think we should be funny. But, okay. Well, you know, but anyway, that's always funny. So, okay, next one. This one's kind of boring. A person with a penis.

Oh, God, I hate god i hate those people oh god you mean a man can't enjoy sex now hang on in today's world there's women with penises no they're probably men no they identify as women with a penis with gross between their legs Okay, whatever. Okay, well, anyway, they identify as women with gross between their legs. Okay, whatever. Okay, well, anyway, they can't enjoy sex while wearing a condom. Whatever they identify with. Nobody can enjoy sex wearing a condom. Apparently, that's a myth. No, no, it's a truth. Sex is not the same wearing a condom. I mean, it was face facts. Come on.

It's a necessary evil. But really? Okay, as a woman, do you identify as a woman? Yes. Okay. When a guy is fucking with a condom, do you enjoy it as much as when he's barebacking him? I haven't used a condom in, like, forever. Okay, but let's pretend back in the day. Yeah, kind of deadened it deadens your senses yeah and again i can fuck longer that's great yeah but it's like i'm fucking with a balloon on my dick i'm gonna make balloon animals my problem is too like back in the day when i was younger and a long time ago when i was tighter i used to rip condoms or suck them right off a dick.

Yeah, you were tight enough that you pull them right the fuck off. Right the fuck off. When we first got together, we were wearing condoms and you would constantly be fucking and it's like, something feels different. I put my dick out and look down and it's like, where the hell is my condom? It's like, oh, hang on. There it is. I'm pulling it out. Did you lose this?

it's like oh hang on there it is I'm pulling it out did you lose this it's like a magician pulling out the scarves I'm pulling out a freaking condom out of my twat colored scarves did you lose this where did the rabbit come from oh that's scary give me another one this one stupid. We know that one. The pull-out method can be used as a standalone method for birth control. That along with, what was the other form of birth control? The rhythm method. Oh, it's the same thing. Yeah. It's the same thing. Oh, no, the rhythm method was like you count your days. Oh, is that what it was?

Yeah, the rhythm just oh i know is our pussy done yet something like that no it's like before you ovulate your pussy gets like warmer so you put it i don't i'm not sure what kind of thermometer you use i would use an anal one or use an oral one i'm not sure the difference is know what the difference is, right? The taste. And they said, you know, what do they call people that use the rhythm method? Parents, because it doesn't fucking work. So the pull-out method, no, because there's still spermin even in your pre-cum. Oh, yeah. If you're dripping.

It's not necessarily your ejaculation to get you pregnant. Yeah, it could be the pre-cum Yeah, it's so stupid. There was one in there, I think I read something about, you can get pregnant from toilet seats. Hold on, let me... It's like, first of all, who's ejaculating on toilet seats? And then, how are you sitting on toilet seats? Are you grinding on a toilet seat? And again, I think, if I'm not mistaken, there's something to the fact of, like, if your semen is in the air, it kind of dies within seconds. Oh, yeah. And again, that's what I've heard. I don't know. I don't know.

I've ruined plenty of tissues. Hold on, I've read them. Hold on. See, now they're all mixed up here. I don read them. Hold on. See, now they're all mixed up here. I don't see where you saw that. All right. Fuck that. Okay, we covered the mess. Fuck that. So I got a question for you. Wait, here's an interesting one. Go for it. You can't get pregnant if you have sex in water. That's an interesting one. What kind of water? Bath water or like chlorine, like a pool? They didn't say that. You can't wash sperm out of your vagina and expect not to get pregnant. Vagina. Okay.

Yeah, just the fact that it's been deposited in your vagina. It doesn't matter whether in a lake, an ocean, a pool, or a hot tub, or any place else. It doesn't matter because it's already inside. I guess they're, yeah, that's interesting. It's not like a, at that point is, it's not really a, like, I'm guessing I'm speaking from somebody who knows nothing. Nothing about sex. About anything.

Um, I'm going to guess that, guess that you know again there's water up in there and that would pollute the integrity apparently it doesn't matter wow you still get pregnant yeah the myth is you can't get pregnant if you have sex in water that's a myth so yes you can get pregnant if you have sex in water. That's a myth. So, yes, you can get pregnant if you have sex in water. Wow, okay. Yeah, you would think, like, water can get up in there just like, you know. It's not like a perfect seal. No, it's not a perfect seal. There's not like an O-ring or that kind of seal either.

You know, there's not a, you know. Yeah, it's not, you know, foolproof. It's not waterproof. It's not watertight. It's not watertight. You're not going to dive, dive. Oh, here's an interesting myth I think is pretty cool. Masturbation makes achieving. Hang on, now we're talking my expertise. There we go. Go for it. I got the answers here now. Okay, he's looking. Like a masturbation. He's stuck out his chest. He's like, ready? Okay, go ahead. Makes achieving an orgasm more difficult. That's the myth. Masturbation? Makes achieving an orgasm, pardon me, more difficult.

Well, it depends on what you're using as stimuli. That's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point that's a good point if you said to me drop trial, masturbate and I have no stimuli I could sit there and pinch my penis for hours and get nowhere pinch your penis I mean grab the girth the python choke the python wrangle that monster I don't know. The girth. The python. Yeah. Choke the python. Wrangle that monster. But now, if you sit there and say, okay, watch video of the scenario, you know, like farm animals. Stop it. God damn it. You're just a sick bitch. But you know what? Don't be a hater.

Actually, I think it's the reverse because... Really? You think just like without any stimuli? No. I think because if you masturbate, I won't say like crazy frequently, but you're in tune with your body. Define crazy frequently. Okay, more than... I mean, less than 10 times a day. Less than...

Is it really crazy less than 10 times a day is it really crazy frequently at 10 times okay whatever I mean if it interrupts your day is it really crazy if you're doing nothing but masturbating if you have to stop and trap no go ahead just hypothetic go ahead okay but i'm i'm thinking if you masturbate on a regular basis whatever that is several times a week whatever I think you're more in tune with your body so you can you can bring yourself to orgasm but you still need to have some stimuli mentally visually oh yeah but you create that by masturbating you create that because while you're masturbating you get into the mental game i do yeah how often do you masturbate yeah i know it's like gosh i don't i don't get older people so it's not like we masturbate daily Yeah, I have a husband.

I don't need to masturbate. My husband's married. My husband kills my sex drive, so I don't need to masturbate. That's true. We're married. We don't need to masturbate. It's like, wow, I'm horny. Oh, there's my husband. Never mind. I'm not horny anymore. Okay. And for me, it's like, oh, there's my wife. She ain't going to touch me. I got to masturbate. See, you masturbate more. I'm married. I don't masturbate at all. It's like, oh, I'm married to him? I'm not interested in sex. Never mind. Swallow a bitch. Why do you do that when I'm taking a drink? That's not even fair.

when your mouth's full i don't get to do that um no i i think again my opinion for what that's worth and it's not a whole lot is if i'm going to masturbate i have to have some visual or mental stimulation i can't just like jerk off i think what they're saying the act of masturbation regardless of your meant the stimulation of masturbation in and of itself makes orgasm more difficult they don't care about the stimulation part it's the act of masturbation and i'm saying no that's not true yeah because the more you masturbate the more you are in tune with your body and the more you're okay i'm looking at it from the aspect of like okay if i masturbate i am mentally or visually stimulated by a certain aspect sure okay let's pretend it's doggy style right okay picking something um so if i'm going to masturbate i'm going to need to either a think about like you doggy style or someone or whatever or go into my mental game of you doggy style or whatever mentally or visually.

I can't just sit there and jerk off and not think about something personally. I'm sure there are people, but I would think that the majority of people have to have either the mental or visual. Right. They need to stimulate. Let's say the stimulation is definitely part of the equation, but they're saying specifically masturbation makes it harder to orgasm. I'm saying no. I can only see that if your stimuli is something that you're not getting. Okay, let's pretend it's doggy, but your girlfriend is like, no, I don't like doggy. You have to do me missionary.

You're like, well, this isn't my thing. Well, that's. Then it's more difficult to have an orgasm. If you're having sex missionary, but your thing is. This is about masturbation, not about. Well, same, but you're masturbating and you think about doggy. Well, my thing is not about the stimulation part. Let's say the stimulation part is there. You're engaged. Okay. And they're saying, they're saying masturbation makes achieving orgasm more difficult.

I'm saying no, because when you masturbate, you get a chance to, you're allowing yourself to experience sensations that you find pleasurable whatever that might be sensations are more mental than physical i think i think the two overlap i don't think you can if you're masturbating right it's a a constant physical it's just your hand on you okay but your mental it covers man or woman okay it's the mental stimulation of what you're painting the picture of what's going on that's true but they're not talking about that here don't fuck them so so what are you saying here okay so you they're saying it's harder to achieve orgasm through if you masturb you masturbate, masturbation makes achieving orgasm more difficult.

Now, is that through masturbation or through actual sex? No, they're saying masturbation makes achieving orgasm more difficult. No, I actually think I come faster through masturbation than I do through actual sex. Yes, you just disbarred this this entire myth No, they said masturbation makes it tough to orgasm That's the myth Oh, okay, so I dispelled the myth You just dispelled the myth We were on the same page the whole time Again, we're talking around in fucking circles. Thank you. I'll be here all week. I can come faster through masturbation than through sex as well. Yep.

Because you know your body. You know whether I use a toy, my fingers, whatever. Again, we've talked about this too. your mental fantasy is always better than your physical act of it. Yes, I agree. Yeah, you picture a fantasy of, let's say, a threesome. Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's perfect. It's like, oh, my God, this is hot. But then when it actually happens, it's like, well. I'm getting a cramp in this position. My leg does not go that way, please. You can't put my head behind it. No, it's not going to go. His balls are blinding me. I can't see. Yep, yep. Not that I know that. Okay, next myth.

Okay. Last myth. We'll make this the last one. We're 15 minutes into this. Oh, my goodness. Already? Already. Oh, my God. Last myth. Pick a good one, baby. I'm looking. Oh, that's a blank page that's not good at all that's the one we want oh oh oh stop it oh i don't know what's a good one here. Just pick one. Okay. Any man can learn to control his ejaculation. Bullshit. You don't think a man can learn to control his ejaculation? No. Some can. We've met guys that they can control when they come. Yes. There are porn stars.

Why would to come well no i'm talking like um there are i i only know because we've known yeah porn stars and there are you know guys who weren't porn stars and they can come on command remember i'll use the name dave it's very generic okay you know what i'm talking about no um had a wife uh they live in the woods oh yes okay he could control his orgasm supposedly uh i didn't know that yeah he always said he can you know he can fuck for a long time and then pick when he wants to come and then keep fucking and come again wow that's pretty good certain porn stars i know you were like jesus christ just come you're fucking the shit out of me yeah i know i were in some interesting positions outside and on top of cars and stuff and patios patios and kitchen tables yeah whatever but um there are certain porn stars that can literally come on command.

Sure. Like, how do you, how does that work? I mean. I don't know. I can only guess they, like, remove themselves from the thought of the pleasure into something that's, you know, like ex-wives or whatever. Baseball. Yeah, whatever. Well, men type bands don't work. No, it doesn't work. Well, yeah, and then I guess when they want to come, they bring that visual stimuli to the front, foreground. Yeah, it's beyond me. I don't know. I have no idea how that works. None whatsoever. I mean, that's great. I can kind of like push myself to cum like a, quote, forced orgasm.

But it's always not as pleasurable as one that's organic. Well, it's sort of like edging. Yeah. You sit there. I mean, I don't edge. I don't try to edge. My body edges on its own and is like, no, fucking come. I want to get over the top. You get real, real close and you back away. You get real, real close and you back away. Is that edging or is that something? Well, edging is where you want to hang there real close. You hit that plateau. Yeah, you want to ride that edge. That wave, yeah. But, you know, for me. I can only do that for so long. Then I lose. Well, then it loses the level.

Yeah, then the orgasm, either A, it's a ruined orgasm because it kind of goes away. It's like, well, I guess you really weren't that interested. And just the sensation goes away well i find the orgasms aren't as strong afterwards yeah i want a strong orgasm give me fucking i can i want something that curls my toes or in your case eight toes oh wow that hurt or you said there's a couple of times you're like oh my god my toe's crawling and it's not there it's not there it's a toe that's not there. That was pretty cool. You know how to hurt it. That's not hurting. It's not there.

It's a toe that's not there. That was pretty cool. I can't hear how it hurt again. That's not hurting. I found that really interesting. That's not hurting. Come on. You're a big boy. You can handle it. It's okay. No, here, I'll cuddle you. Yeah, the motherfucker that has, he keeps using my email. He's from Ohio. Oh, God. He you going to out him? He just ordered Hungry Howie's Pizza. I don't eat pizza, unfortunately. Oh, well. I can't because I'm a diabetic. This motherfucker. He's got the same name. It's like that's what happens when you have him.

I don't think he has the same name, but he uses my email that isn't his. And he doesn't realize he just ordered a pizza, and I ought to cancel it. Yeah, I think you should. Fuck him. Thank you. apparently you do because this motherfucker oh in ohio let's drive out who doesn't know his own email address apparently and he keeps ordering shit and he keeps getting fucked up and he's like no he just uses like they send me the emails but you know it doesn't know why credit card number oh this must be fascinating for you oh man i've been drinking since five out of me, aren't you? Oh, man.

I've been drinking it since five. Well, whose problem is that? Mine, apparently. That's not my fucking fault. Jesus Christ, stop it. That's it. Take upstairs and just beat the shit out of you. How much are you going to charge me? Oh, not much because, you know. Do you take cards? Yeah, I do. Okay. Absolutely. Swipe. Is it a swipe or is it just a tap it's a swipe let's do ben melons cash app the nastiness of that fucking thing eats the fucking band off my card spank tomorrow i got a new card what the fuck happened to this card i swipeded it. On what? It's like acid. Well, okay.

Well, that's true. My wife snatched. What? I said my wife took the, she snatched my card and took it someplace. Battery acid. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's like, okay. Oh, the love.

I feel the love I feel this love oh my god but anyways yeah I guess that's all the myths we have no there's more myths I only grabbed these two sites we didn't even get through all of them like I would be here forever discussing them everything from getting pregnant and stds from bathroom toilet seats to this is you know it's it's amazing what people oh there's a couple in there that i've been like i don't know about that i mean and everybody is different you just can't say oh this is a myth it's good somebody else is be like, no, I can do that.

Yeah, I mean, we all have different examples of stuff, you know. I mean, sex is as individual as people are. I mean, what turns on one person? That's deep. I know, I know, it's very deep, very deep. Oh, my God. As deep as my pussy. Yeah, maybe not. I have a pretty shallow pussy. We're still hikers.'re missing spelunking it doesn't do it justice i don't know what the fuck that would be called spur booming oh my pussy's not that big that would if my pussy was that big there have been a lot more dicks I could handle. Yeah. You know, there's some just like, you're not going in.

You're just not going in. It's just. And that's just me. And as I'm doing my size. Nope. You're not going in, pal. I have a big. Nope. Nope. I mean, you know, saw horses, they rode close. I got road flyers. People with their flags. Nope. No vents is allowed. Go this way way you can't go that way blinking lights do not enter wow oh stop sex life oh well it's so terrible you hate it so much June 17th the next party I don't know if I'm going to be able to get off. You're getting off. You're going to get off of work to go to the party. Yes, you will. You have over a fucking month.

You tell them, I am busy this fucking day. I have dicks to fucking suck.

I'm sure my family will love to hear that shame on them don't let you have off that they don't want to hear it they're gonna let you off if you're not going i'm going without you oh that's fine that's fine okay i'm good with that next week we might be recording with um angelina oh really yeah she reached out to me she has not been on the show we have done some photos with her no she's never been on this show she's been on other shows yeah she's been on other shows i did with the but not this one yeah um angelina is a um very interesting woman, very high sex drive. Yeah, crazy high sex drive.

She should be in porn. She literally should be in porn. Very sexy body and everything else. So we might be recording tentatively next week with Angelina. Not a live show. Not a live show. It'll be a recorded show show but it'll be entertaining it's always entertaining she's always unpredictable she's got a sex drive wow so there's some people that are meant to be in porn she should be but doesn't want But doesn't want to be. I don't understand that. It's like you want to fuck all the time. I've gotten to sample that a few times, and it is spectacular. Yeah, I don't. We'll find out next week.

Yeah, we'll find out. Yeah. We'll record that next week, and let's see what's going on with her. And next Saturday,urday we'll be doing a live shot yes that sounds like fun well i guess technically nobody's got a calling you know that right no but that's okay i'm good with that but maybe janice will after she said after she sends me pictures of her big double D tits. Oh, my goodness. We'll get her out of that spunk loop tomorrow. Ooh. I want to see it all smothered all over that little shaved pussy. There you go. Oh, my God. Come on. So that's done.

So did you have an orgasm or did you ejaculate? Yes. Thank you. So that's done So did you have an orgasm Or did you ejaculate Yes Whichever one works for you That's what I have Worked for me It's all that matters So of course I sent Janice went to see facial pictures of me I sent them And I'm sure it ruined any Thought of sexuality she had She's like oh I want to hear that Thank you.

wanted to see facial pictures of me i sent them and i'm sure it ruined any thought of sexuality she had she's like oh i want to hear that i want to see what that sexy voice well that ruined that i don't know your voice kind of matches you i think it uh well that's true i don't know have we told that story yes i'm sure we have okay so yeah donna well we were just friends just uh a girl said i was cute and donna was like vince we were barely friends well we were friends yeah but i mean we're like there was no romance there was no romance oh my god this girl thought i was hot for.

Oh, Vince is so cute. I don't know how you can work with them. I was like, Vince? I was like, Vince? Vince isn't cute. I couldn't even get cute. See, there's a myth in itself that Vince is sexy. Well, you changed my mind. I didn't do anything. Well, yes, you did. You changed a lot. Well, our computers are back to back.

And when I said said that all of a sudden my computer went black i'm like oh my god my computer just died you're like you had pulled out the power cord from the back from the monitor and you're like oh well if i was cute i guess your my your monitor would work you plugged it back in i was like ah motherfucker always to know me is to hate me yeah well that's why i'll never live that down it's like every time i'm like oh honey you're so handsome like you're like she doesn't want a computer to die i'm her tech support well yeah that has a lot to do with it so yeah oh yeah, honey, you're so sexy.

Oh, yeah. Oh. In a Neanderthal sort of way, yeah, you're hot. Wow. Damn. Well, you're the one who always says, hey, all I need is a couple bolts to stick it out of my neck. And you never argue. Well, go in, not out of your neck. I mean, come on ridiculous all right um again i want to promote spunk lube.com if you have comments or show concepts or just general comments email us at hot wife podcast at gmail.com if you want to see where donna is and what she's doing go to hot wife donnalyn.com and uh again our numbers Thank you. I'm sure. I'm sorry.

I encourage you to find one person uh you think might be interested in the show and try to get them to listen um don't want to dare like I dare you you don't you don't have a hair on your ass if you don't listen to this podcast um I'll bet you 10 bucks you can't even listen I don't want to cost people money because they're gonna lose oh. Oh, that's true. Oh, my God. That would be terrible. I would feel bad. But, again, thank you. Our numbers have grown exponentially, and we are every day scratch our head going. We started this podcast just for shits and giggles.

Didn't think it would go more than maybe 10 people, and we are way above it. Unbelievable. It's just us. And we get emails from people and we appreciate it. Like, oh, your show is whatever. I'm not going to tell you. They actually like our show. I don't want to quote them. Only because you can't. Yeah, I can, but I don't want to. We're both blown away by the comments we get. Yeah, blown away. It's all very positive, so thank you. Yeah, very positive. What you hear on air is exactly how we are off air. Pretty much. That's a scary part. That's a scary part. There's no script. There's no nothing.

We just wing it. Yep. I mean, we had paperwork today. Well, I printed it out, but I didn't really read it. No, I barely read it. I was like it i was like you're like come on let's go you're home from work let's do a podcast i'm like okay so but uh again thank you for all for listening and and maybe being you i consider part of the conversation because we've heard that from people steven is like oh i'm listening and i i start talking back and then you answer exactly, and it's great. That's weird. That's weird.

It's, again, we just have a conversation that we would have if you were all sitting here with us. Yeah, that's true. And, again, we feel very blessed that you all, for whatever reason, listen to us. Yeah, we appreciate it. So thank you so much. Yeah. Again, we wish you all the best and thank you again i challenge you to find someone else that maybe you might want to listen and uh or better yet two people um and uh again we'll talk to you soon and next week uh what was it the 20th yeah 20th 20th we'll start doing live shows oh boy that'd be fun all right everybody you have a great night