Separating Swinger Life from Vanilla Life

Transcript

Speaker1: this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest and performers are all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of the Hot Wife Podcast's owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice.
Speaker2: Hi, this is Donna Lynn and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast, where we discuss all the good the good the bad and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle hello everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast i'm with my wonderful husband vince once again here Once again. Here we go again. Some things never change. You try. I keep trying, but... I keep finding my way back home. Yeah. No matter where you drop me off. I know. It's like that little lost dog in that movie we saw. That's why I wrote my name and address in my underwear band. So I go, take me home. There's so much wrong with that. I'm not even going to go there it's like do you like but you're going there now so how do you broach somebody with like do you like pull down your pants and and like open your underwear band it seems like you do every time some guy shows up here i don't have an underwear band it's barely a flap of fabric flap barely little
Speaker1: We'll be right back. up here i don't have an underwear band it's barely a flap of fabric flap barely little triangle piece of fabric okay oh my god yeah i'm not gonna go there all right um again uh thanks for people reaching out we just had a new gentleman reach out to us from florida and he wants spunk loop yeah we're going to get him some spunk loop um and again if you want to reach out to us uh hot wife podcast at gmail.com yes and you can find out where i am at hot wife donna lynn.com i'm always posting pictures and videos of all the fun I'm having. Yep. So just put out today, which will be tomorrow, which was yesterday. Don't confuse me. You're just going to put out soon. No, it's out. The newest version of 50shadesofpleasure.com, the magazine. The Virgin. The March issue. It's free. Please check it out. In there is a story from, actually, one of the things in there is a story from one of our friends, listeners, and technically Playmate. Yep. So he wrote that in there. We welcome other people to contribute. if you have something that you want to contribute, love to have it in there. Um, you know, articles or stories or, um, whatever, or if you have something you want us to write upon, even with the show, if you have a topic, email us. Um, you can email us either hot wife podcast at gmail.com or, uh, info at 50 shades of pleasurepleasure.com so anyway with that said the topic tonight we're going to look at is the balance of lifestyle between being a swinger and being uh and the vanilla world yeah you know we all have to yeah if you know so there's a there's a line you have to walk, there's definitely a line you have to walk, that's for sure.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: Oh, there's so many times you just want to be like, I can't say anything wrong.
Speaker1: I don't need to be jealous of my wife because I watch her fuck other people.
Speaker2: Or somebody starts talking about like some show on, they're like, yeah, they were into this, you know, bondage. And then you're like, oh, you know, they weren't tying those ropes right. You know, they weren't. You know, you just can't say anything. Well, that's your part to say that. I can't. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not that I'm a rope tire, but I have been tied. Yeah. I've been on the receiving end, which is quite wonderful, actually. You say so. Oh, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it quite a bit. bit that's fine doesn't have to be my thing no but um yeah so i mean like one of the first things you always see on a profile generally is we can host or we can host right so you know and right off the bat that tells you whether they have kids at home or not. Exactly.
Speaker1: Exactly. So, I mean, that's always one of the toughest parts for people to juggle.
Speaker2: Oh, yeah.
Speaker3: You know.
Speaker2: If you have kids.
Speaker1: Well, if you have kids, then you spend a lot of money on hotel rooms.
Speaker2: Yeah, or you go to clubs or other people's houses.
Speaker1: Yeah, you have to make friends with people who can host.
Speaker2: But some people don't want to host because they don't want to worry about the mess at home you know they just don't like to entertain at home clean up oh we got to clean the whole house you know joe and sue are coming over um you know just saying potentially you know joe you know sue's a squirter she'll soak the fucking bed again yeah we can't you know we just bought a new mattress um you know yeah i guess those are problems but i got smart and i started buying those uh i won't want to call them rubber sheets but for lack of other word i will call them rubber sheets for like every bed that we have. Well, they're, yeah, case people. You know, spooge. They're meant for people who have bladder problems. Right. Actually, they're very nice. They're like quilted and they don't like. Are you selling these products now? Yes, I am. I mean. Talk about it on your own podcast. Oh, sorry. It'll be the rubber sheet podcast. No, they're actually kind of nice. They're kind of quilted and cottony. So they don't remember that rubber sheet we had she even got her fingers going like she's like showing like she's doing a fucking qvc commercial yeah you know and they have like nice nice seams and they don't like like the rubber sheet we got at walmart it was awful hand gestures and sound effects
Speaker3: wow
Speaker2: yeah it was like we were
Speaker3: we were What did they do again? It was awful. Hand gestures and sound effects. Wow. Yeah.
Speaker2: It was like, we were supposed to play with Mickey. We were playing on playing with her, and she's a squirter.
Speaker1: Mentally challenged podcast.
Speaker3: Totally.
Speaker2: And we got this horrible rubber sheet.
Speaker3: Oh, yeah.
Speaker2: And I was playing with one of my playmatesmates and in the video, after we're done,
Speaker3: you can hear this.
Speaker1: Turn your mic down. You keep that shit up.
Speaker2: It was like every time you moved, you could hear the noise. It was terrible. So these don't do that.
Speaker1: It was like fucking with a condom with the wrapper still on.
Speaker2: Oh, yeah, exactly. That's what it sounded like.
Speaker3: Exactly.
Speaker1: Not that I've done that. It could happen. It could happen. If you don't use the whole condom it could happen i just use a wrapper then i get twice as much out of it i get the wrapper and the condom it's easy to wash off and use again oh there you go um but um yes i mean that's one aspect that it's the um the balance well also some people also make sure that the screen name that they use or the handle they use on the swinger websites don't have any connection to them they're not going to be like oh this is you know we're donna and vince oh yeah donna vince one two three main street exactly how'd they find us i don't know how they found us well the one thing that's very common that people do on a profile is they'll say hey we're in town we're in acmeville but they're really not in acmeville they're in pantryville okay which is two towns over yeah they do that a lot you know i mean we've had people say they're i mean literally 20 miles away from the town they're in right right it's like you know i don't really think that throws people off if they see some if they see your face and they recognize you they're like wow that looks like joe next door yeah it's like campy joe he's from this guy's from pineville which is 50 miles down the road exactly wow campy him his doppelganger it's amazing he's got the same tattoos as joe that is just amazing look his backyard looks like joe's backyard holy shit what i gotta tell joe i found someone looks just like him has a yard like his fucking moron i i i find it hard to believe that your neighbor would find you i mean i guess it's possible they might they might but they're already swingers though who cares there's no you know process that like other swingers have to approve who becomes a swinger you know that's true you know it's not like you go before a council like well i'm sorry we have a swinger inside a 10 mile radius of that so we can't have another swinger inside a 10 mile radius so now it's you know your neighbors could become one could not become one it might already be one just not on the site you're on now that's true too you know i mean even if you blur your face the fuck out it's like wow that guy is the same tattoo as john yeah we don't even bother it looks just like his dog dog should they drive the same fucking motorcycle with the flames on the tank that's fucking incredible but he's 50 miles away god who would have thought right well joe doesn't like sex that couldn't be joe these weirdos would like sex oh my god they're they're animals wacko fucks i mean how good can sex be it's a lot of activity and then your body spews out of fluid
Speaker2: oh geez it's so messy and gross and now we're back to the rubber sheets again i liked but anyway
Speaker1: um yeah so i mean that's one way of balancing you know it's one of the walks some people in the lifestyle have to walk feel the need to walk i get it you know i mean yeah um
Speaker2: I'll see you next time. you know it's one of the walks some people in the lifestyle have to walk feel the need to walk i get it you know i mean yeah um yeah you don't want bring people home to have fun with when your kids are there no no you should not do it we do not recommend kind of wrong yeah kind of a lot wrong kind of a lot wrong there yeah yep so what what um a lot will do will just not ever mention it in when they're in the vanilla environment it's not one of those things that comes wow man joe you know the other day yankees were doing really good hit this couple home runs but i was busy fucking another guy's wife but the the guy stole third. Did you see that? That was incredible. They might be going to the championship. Oh, man, she took it in her ass, this guy's wife. But anyway. Yeah, you just never, never, rarely does it come up. Am I a what, Joe? A swinger. How would you get that info? Well, wait a minute. What makes you ask that, Joe? I was just talking about baseball baseball what part of baseball made you ask me was it the bat or the balls was it the guy in tight pants and i was getting tight then too was that part of it well how did mickey know that we were swingers and we we never she yeah we already knew it for a couple months um she was on us man like I asked her she goes i just she goes you guys just seem too easygoing and fun loving to not be swingers i'm like okay i didn't know there's criteria i didn't know that i've met a bunch of uptight swingers yeah so totally uptight but yeah that was weird because we never talked about weird things that normal people in the vanilla world won't talk about. We wouldn't, you know, we didn't.
Speaker1: Well, and like I've said before, when I first met, when we first met her, she was kind of sexually uptight.
Speaker2: Oh, really uptight.
Speaker1: Couldn't tell dirty jokes. There'd been no way I would have ever have mentioned it or, you know. And again, you know, she was a happily married woman.
Speaker2: So it wasn't like, first of all, I never would have thought I would have a snowball's chance in hell with her. Exactly. So there's no way I would have brought that up. No more than I know you wanted a snowball's chance in hell with her husband. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, I'd rather. Yeah, you didn't want it. Let's see. You didn't want it. I didn't want it. You didn't get it. That's good. It worked out well for everybody out well for everybody win-win all around but um no they're just you know that was weird like she just picked up on that yeah i used to think it was kind of interesting when i was working in corporate america and we heard doing our one crazy there's crazy weekends where i was you know banging several guys on a weekend and you did i i did while you were doing whatever you do videotaping documenting it and then you go in on monday and they're like so donna what'd you do on the weekend and i was like ah man i can't well that's kind of exactly what we're talking about yeah it's exactly balancing that yeah you're just like it was nice or you know same old shit different weekend or well it's like your birthday two years ago. Oh, yeah. You know, if you were still working corporate America back then, they go, what'd you do for your birthday this weekend? Well, I went over, got blindfolded, tied up, and eight people had their way with me. You know, four men and four women. I think it was only three. It was three and three was six. Was it? Yeah. Yes, it was three and three, six. Oh, okay. Well, then it's not so odd. Yeah, it's not so odd. Eight is just over the limit. Eight's a whore. Yeah, see? Six is fine. Six is fine. That's like, you know. Going to church kind of shit. Oh, yeah. It's a Sunday afternoon thing. You know. I mean, you know. Yeah, there's no way I could do it. I didn't do much on my birthday, you know. So I went to dinner, and the next day, you know, got tied up, and three men and three women had their way with me. You came to dinner. You know, flogged me, tied me up. God, that was so good. Abused me a little bit. Love that. And they all fucked me. Pussy jammed in my face. Not much. It was kind of standard weekend. Standard. You know, I've had so many birthdays. They all blend together. They all blend together. I don't even know. I mean, what did you do for your birthday? Oh, you had cake. Ooh. You tempted us. Did somebody smear all of your body cake? No, they didn't do that. Did they eat it out of your butt?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker2: They just had cake.
Speaker1: Was there a cock in the middle?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker2: Was it a cock cake?
Speaker1: Was it cream-filled? Did you blow the cock?
Speaker3: Candle. Candle.
Speaker2: Blow the candle. That's exactly what I was thinking yeah i can't even you couldn't even joke about that stuff so yeah there's there's definitely a dance you have to do between the swinger lifestyle and the uh and the vanilla world yeah we told this story several times about when i went to the dentist and I had my hot wife necklace on. It was something like that.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: You know, and of course, the hygienist saw it. I know I've told this story before, so I'll keep it brief. But she was like, what does your necklace say? It's really pretty. I was like, it says hot wife. And in my head, I'm like, I'm so glad you didn't get the cum slut one.
Speaker1: I think it came up with a cum slut.
Speaker2: A cum slut.
Speaker1: It's my maiden family name, cum slut.
Speaker2: A cum slut. It's like, um. It would have to have an umlaut over the U or something to make it believable. Oh, my God. I'm like, so glad you didn't get cum slut. Hot wife is bad enough. Hot wife, I can bet.
Speaker3: Hot. Why?
Speaker1: Well, a cum dumpster would have been tougher than this one. Oh, yeah. It's a dumb cumster. That was my maiden name, was cum doomster. Cum doomster. But luckily I married cum slew. So it wasn't that big a change for me. No, it wasn't. Oh, my God. I was going for Asquin.
Speaker3: Asquin.
Speaker1: Sure, it's not pronounced Asquin? No, it's Asquin.
Speaker2: It's Asquin.
Speaker1: I almost married Asquin.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: I'm Donna Asquin.
Speaker2: I guess it's almost as bad. We're looking at Donna Coombsloot. Queen of spades. Queen of speeds. Queen spreads. Queen spreads. Oh, I don't know how you brush that one under the rug. I just don't know. Well, there's a lot of things, and that's why swingers use all kinds of little nuances like we talked about before, the upside-down pineapple scrunchies so people know who's who's in the group who's in the club and who's not because if you know who's in the club you'll know what that is maybe maybe not yeah but if you know what that is but you're not a swinger and you know you go well bob and sue next door a lot of pineapples are upside down out there you know it's like doesn't bob know how to hang that shit up yeah he always hangs them upside down what's wrong doesn't he realize as as those pineapples rot they're going to drain right out the stem out there actually that's how they grow technically oh did they grow like that i did not know that yeah the little plume is actually the bottom that's the part that attaches to the to the stem branch yeah it's like bananas grow up they don't grow down they don't grow down that's weird there's your useless information for the that is so useless i'm gonna use that never yeah but i guess being in the swinger lifestyle it's it's you know you have to kind of do the dance have to have the secret handshake yeah the secret the secret handshake. Hand on penis. Sometimes, or mouth, or whatever. Boob. Boob. So, but, yeah, and, you know, if you have kids, you've got to kind of have a steady babysitter you can count on. Yeah. Because you have to be able to book on that babysitter. You say, hey, in three weeks, you know, we'd like to go out. Are you going to be available? Right. Because you're planning you don't want to unless you're just going to a club then you're just going to go there and meet whoever yeah exactly but you know they even said like if you go out and you come back and people are like hey how was your night out i know you went to you know dinner or whatever they like they're just like don't mention clubs keep it vague oh yeah you know oh we went to a couple different different clubs. I don't remember the names, but we had a good time. And that's. OK, we're not big clubbers. No, we're not big clubbers. Swingers or non-swinger clubs. Right. But OK, so let's pretend we were of the age to go to a any kind of club. Can you think of a dance club or something like that in the area? And we're outside Philly. I mean, I don't know. There might be some in the city. I guess. I don't know. No, not even one. Bars, yeah. Bars, pubs, breweries. Yeah, we went to Double Visions and we went, well, Donna went dancing. That's an old stripper club I used to dance at. We actually came home with more money than we went with it was amazing the food wasn't great though but you know donna didn't get anything spilled on her dress because she wasn't wearing it there you go of course she came home with no thong on this time and what happened to that maybe that's what that guy was choking on i'm not sure I don't know what's going on with that yeah so they say he'll be okay so they say yeah i guess if you do that kind of stuff you have to have a a story that you stick to or or something that you know you can't say you're going to your aa meeting and come home smelling like alcohol and sperm, you know? Alcohol and bleach. We got drunk at the laundromat, honestly.
Speaker3: But you didn't take any clothes with you. Well, we were washing other people's clothes.
Speaker2: It's a hobby.
Speaker4: We washed the West Fortunate's clothes.
Speaker1: But, yeah, it's... And again, you know, like you talked about with work,
Speaker2: Have a great time. You go into work and, like, hey, you know, Vince, that was your weekend. You can't sit there, oh, man, I went to the club. You should have seen these two women I got to play with. Oh, my God, they're so fucking hot but it's like they're gonna uh play was it a backgammon club or what was it yeah yeah that's it cool i jumped them all right yeah i mean you just first of all you can't say that because it's sexual but you just connect to a lot of reasons yeah exactly but it's got to to be on the you have to be discreet when that that aspect yeah all right i mean i saw that my last job but you know hearing them talk about how can people be swingers and all this stuff you know and then i just keep your mouth shut you know i was like man i couldn't let my wife my wife even looked at another man i'd kill him oh boy that's insecurity yeah you meanwhile in your head you're going oh you have no idea yeah not a clue it's on a need-to-know basis that's why like when they were doing that whole thing with the hey vince how many women did you sleep with that's why you're like i i can't believe you're not gonna believe you if i yeah simple they have no idea not a clue not a clue how did you get the motives you know you're like ah dude you just don't even know there's a lot of reasons i have had the amount of women i've had right you know none of them are dick size but we're money but there's a lot of reasons a lot of reasons oh my god when you're a photographer and you do a good job. Oh, yeah, that certainly happens. That's, hey, you got to, I don't want to use the word molested because that would just be wrong. There were two women that had their way with you after. That was at one time, but there's been more than that. Yeah, more than that. But that was always fun. I had more women that I photographed literally threw themselves at me. Mm-hmm. You know, they were like, oh like oh my god you made me look so beautiful i gotta fuck you okay oh if you feel like you have to i mean you really don't need to but if you must if it's compelled to do well my dick's in your mouth let me think about it that's terrible you consider i've already seen you naked and i know what i'm in for all right sure yeah sure why not they're not swingers but they they were for a minute or two no we'll change subjects a little bit here for a second so i probably have asked you this in the past maybe now you know before you and i met you worked with a lot of different photographers and stuff over the years yeah yeah did you ever play with any of nope a lot of offers i'm sure uh one or two but there was a there was one guy who was he was very very professional it was a business to him i appreciated that that was me right no it was before you i mean he wasn't like the greatest photographer in the world i mean now i know you're not talking yeah but he had a little house like you know he lived pretty far away but he and his wife would you know have all these little costumes and they they made their whole little house into like a little uh photo studio so this was like a big house to you yeah everything was a little little costumes little house little house little photo shoot yeah it was a little tiny like cottage house and they just divided up the living room into little vignettes because it had a fireplace they had a christmas tree set up there all year long because and they had like these little vignettes throughout their little house and yeah he was very professional most of them actually were pretty professional that's good yeah i mean i was professional i never you never came on to them i didn't come on to them they they always asked me right. But that's different then. You can always say yes or no. I said no to a bunch. Yeah, I'm sure you did. I know you did. Yeah. So. Yeah. But anyway, so back to the original topic. But yeah. Yeah, I don't know how other people in the lifestyle keep it on the damn low. Well, when you're initially into it, I think the excitement of it makes you want to tell other people especially people you might want to consider playing with right right but again we've been doing it for 20 years and it's just like not a big deal no no it is still exciting but you know i don't want to advertise it necessarily sure yeah we don't need to hang the swinger flag out front.
Speaker3: But.
Speaker2: Yeah, we do. I think we do.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker2: The big upside down pineapple or.
Speaker1: I just had one that says swinger.
Speaker3: Swinger.
Speaker1: Grr, baby.
Speaker2: Grr, baby, grr.
Speaker1: But, yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, it's just that little element of your life that it's the same, I if you're into something weird let's hypothetically say something like eat the man's ass hypothetically speaking just picking something at random off the top of your head is that something you go brag about if you were working a job it's like oh my god I gotta eat this guy's ass it was fucking something else
Speaker2: no i don't think i tied his ass hair in a knot with my tongue like a cherry stem stop it no you didn't do that no i didn't didn't need to do that oh my goodness hypothetically you might you know this is laughter hypothetically you might you know this is i had fun i don't care oh the ass eating still still gets the results i like it still makes you gag he's out with your scrubbing and dry even it's so fucking funny i don't just eat any guy's ass now i don't feel special no you would not even let me eat your ass in there my ass does not go in the air for anybody not willingly no willingly prison's a different story i was being held down that's a whole different story. But you were trying to get up off the ground this afternoon because you were sorting stuff on. You got on your knees and then you got on your hands. Your butt was in the air. And you're like, see, this is why a man's ass should never be in the air. It's not an attractive look. Not an attractive look. Man's ass does not need to be in the air. near woman's ass this is why men don't wear fucking yoga or stretch pants not real men okay a woman bent over them generally looks pretty good a guy wearing them bent over women don't like it when a man sits there wearing denim with his legs open because his ball sack is, you know.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker2: The man spread.
Speaker1: But now you want a guy to put his bare ass in the air, open his cheeks, he could bury your tongue in that thing?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Not happening.
Speaker2: Depends on the man. Depends on the man.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: Out of the five perfect asses in the world on a man.
Speaker2: Well, then that's okay.
Speaker3: I'm good with that I don't care
Speaker2: as long as you are
Speaker1: I don't have to be
Speaker2: it's my tongue
Speaker1: yeah I ain't kissing you again
Speaker2: no and you haven't
Speaker3: either
Speaker2: I had to gargle and brush my teeth and gargle
Speaker1: gasoline light as a match
Speaker2: bleach
Speaker1: sulfuric acid
Speaker2: yeah I never was right after that I wonder my mouth
Speaker3: Thank you. Gasoline, lightest play to match. He'd bleach.
Speaker2: Sulfuric acid.
Speaker1: Yeah, I never was right after that. I wonder my mouth hurts. You weren't right before that.
Speaker2: No, no.
Speaker1: You married me. So anyway, so that's one of the interesting parts of swinging is trying to keep your private life private.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: That's it, most people.
Speaker2: And again, you don't go talk about your sex life, even if you're not not a swigger you don't go generally go boasting about it to your neighbors or your mom right right you know mom last night i had donna up on fours i railed the shit out of her asshole you don't tell her that no more than you're like oh five guys had donna up on her knees and they all took turns railing her asshole that's a good night that was just a warm up oh my god no but you know so i mean in all honesty is it's really not any different than keeping your own personal life personal sure sure it's it's um you know i try to keep like my toys i'm used to being able just to leave things around but like now with your daughter coming to live with us now I have to think about oh I gotta put my toys away and this and put this so like I'm going through like I gotta you know find a place to put the gallons of spunk lube and all the multitude of toys and vibrators and oh my god I didn't know I had so many i mean i had a whole room just full of this stuff and it's i don't i can't i don't know where to put it also it's gonna be difficult we have some empty boxes right here yeah we're gonna have to label them like books hopefully she won't be here that well a year from now we do another show okay we're at day 392 of my daughter living with us. Oh, my God.
Speaker1: Still no signs of moving out.
Speaker2: Oh, my God.
Speaker1: So, all right.
Speaker2: You may have to, you know, start investing.
Speaker1: You mentioned spunkwood. We never did the spunkwood.
Speaker2: I did.
Speaker1: See, my gallons of spunkwood that I use. So, if you're looking for a great lubricant, we can't recommend enough. SpunkLube.com. Go there. Check out the different lubricants. They're all non-sticky. They're all great. We highly recommend it. Go to SpunkLube.com. And when you get to the checkout, put all one word hot wife in there you get 10 discount um guarantee you will not be sorry if you try there's their lube so we uh we use it we like it yeah i love it i think it works great you know if you have these non-sticky yeah that's what i like it not really flavored what you tell me so you're not going to get strawberry flavored spunk lube or anything that's that's the kind of shit that makes it sticky right yeah so but um yeah you have some fun with it the original version of it looks like spunk that's the name so it almost looks like you you know you want to take some hot pictures of your girlfriend looks It looks like she's got a cream pie. You could just take some of that and fill her pussy with it. Yeah. Watch it ease out. Yeah. It's kind of fun. It's nice and slippery. Who knows? You might be able to slip into the hole she doesn't let you in. Ooh. Oh, you are a dirty boy, aren't you? I didn't say that. But anyway. Oh my goodness. So again, feel free to reach out to us, hotwifepodcasts at gmail.com. I want to thank you all for listening and talk to you next time.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker2: Have a great night, everybody.