Red-Flag Warnings in Swinging

Transcript

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Hi, this is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife podcast, where we discuss all the good, the bad, and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle. Hello, everybody. this is Donna Lynn And welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast And I'm here once again with my What do I always say, Vince? Wonderful husband Oh boy Here you go Yeah, okay, sure I always say that Take it where I can get it Yeah, that's all you can do That's it You are wonderful Okay So Yes Happy Fourth of July weekend Oh yes, it's right around the corner Here we go. That's it. You are wonderful. Okay. So. Yes. Happy Fourth of July weekend.

Oh, yes. It's right around the corner. Yeah. I don't think we're ever going to get in that pool, though. It's been cold and rainy and miserable and whatever. I got a bunch of beautiful naked women that want to get in my pool. God damn it, it doesn't warm up. I'm never going to get these naked, beautiful women in my pool. I know, I know. I'm just going to have to file for a government grant and get a heater put in that fucking pool. Yeah, I was supposed to play made over on Sunday and I told him, I said, oh yeah, we can play by the pool, blah, it'll be fun.

And after the weather, it's like rain on Sunday. I'm like, fuck.

You have to go, what's the percentage chance of rain and then oh that's true well you can always play under the pergola and then you know whatever it'll be okay alright well it'll be okay with him you'll find a way making it okay he's always fun I haven't been with him in quite a while so it's been a while it's been like been like uh six months yeah something like that so at least yeah maybe more yeah maybe i don't know um so today's topic has come to us for a lot of different reasons i'll let you explain the whole lay the whole thing out there, honey. Okay.

Yeah, this is going to be a multifaceted topic. It's kind of a pisser point for me. These guys who, it's called, we're going to call the show Red Flags and Swinging. Yes. Okay. So it may not be the most jovial topic we've talked about, but it's something that really should be discussed. We should explore this one. Yeah. So what we mean by red flags is, you know, I mean, obviously there's the ones where the guy pulls his dick out and it's got weeping sores. That's the obvious one there. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm not looking at you, I swear. I'm looking over here.

It only happened 17 times. It's under control. I kept telling you, see a doctor. See a doctor. How much do I have to nag you? I like that burn feeling. I like that burn feeling. Oh, you like to burn. Pain equals pleasure kind of thing? Oh, yeah. Making joke with that, I swear to God. He doesn't like pain at all. No, I deal with it all the time on my back and everything else. Anyway, so we'll start with like one of the early examples for us with a red flag. So if in the lifestyle you meet a couple, well, let's back up.

One of the most obvious ones is when a guy is like, well, I have my wife's permission. Oh, yeah. Or my wife, you know, she, I'm in a loveless relationship. She doesn't understand me. She doesn't understand. I want to be pegged in shielding. Well, there's a lot of, okay, you're jumping right to the end of the line there. I mean, there's so many. There's so many of those. That was just the funniest one. But what does it mean? Is he just cheating on his wife? Is he want fucked up shit that his wife doesn't want to do? We've talked about that before. Oh, yeah. We know that. Yes. Yeah.

I mean, you know, it's the kind of thing that maybe he, maybe isn't a loveless relationship. You don't know. Yeah. You don't know. Yep. But these are all things, I'm always very leery, especially when a guy's like, oh, yeah, my wife gave me the permission to swing by myself. It's like, yeah. Can we call her and ask? I need a note. I need a note. Signed by her. Yes. With a telephone number to verify. But, you know, that's always been one of the first ones. And generally we try not to play with married people, married men. Men who say they're married or whatever. Right.

Not that it's going to affect our relationship, but we just don't need the bullshit and the drama and everything else. Yeah, it's just not worth it for us. Again, you have to question anybody who is already being untruthful. What else are they lying about? I don't know. I mean, again, you shouldn't have to lie about anything in life. No. It comes back and gets you eventually. Karma's a bitch, says my first wife. Was her name Karma? I don't care what it was anymore.

But so that's always like, you know, like I've seen guys who have a couple's profile, but they don't have any data for the other woman, like for the woman, wife, partner, whatever you call it. He has all pictures of him. Yeah. Or it's a couple's relationship. Exactly. That's a great one. Yeah. And it's like all pictures of him. It's like, where's the female? And he's nothing to look at. You know?

So when they – yeah, you go to a couple's, like you go on a swinger site and you see a couple's profile and the wife, the picture of the wife is like her fully dressed, stirring a back view of her back, not even her butt or anything, you know, stirring something, doing something in the kitchen. It's like, it could be a woman. I don't know. It could be, yeah. It could be. Or something very, very generic. Or just a pair of, like, shoes, woman's shoes, woman's legs. It's like, okay, that's all your wife is, is a set of legs? There's a bonus to that. Don't get me wrong.

But then there's, like, you know, 75 pictures of him. Yeah. And he thinks he's Mr. GQ. And it's like, dude, really? Well, if you go onto the Swing World website and there are no pictures at all, that's a huge red flag. Oh, that's another red flag there. Oh, that's probably the red flag. We've been contacted by people, and you go look at their profile, and it's like, wait, dude, you have no pictures of it. I don't know if I'm male, female, I know nothing. There's nothing there. Why are you even contacting us? You have nothing.

Especially everybody, we're known I don't know if you're male, female. I know nothing. There's nothing there. Yeah. Why are you even contacting us? You have nothing. Especially everybody. We're known for our photographs on our profile. Right. So they come. It's like, oh, man, great pictures, great pictures. Yeah, we should meet. And it's like, well, I don't even know what the fuck you look like. I don't have any. You know, first of all, why would I contact you? Yeah, if you're not mature enough. And again, we've said this before. A thousand times. We're big believers.

You know, plenty of people blur their faces or put fucking some kind of emoji bullshit over their face. And it's just like, do you have all your teeth? I don't know. You know, are your eyes crossed? I don't know. I don't know. You know? I mean, you can have a nice body, but look like me, you know, that's why we blur your face. We blur everything with me, but, but yeah, we just put it all out there. We just don't, I just don't care. I just don't care. Well, if you're mature enough to play in this realm, you should, you should be mature enough to put it out there.

Now you don't have to put like, Hey, look how big my cock is or how, look how, you know, hairy my pussy might be or whatever it is. You know, just nice couple pictures, you know. Right. You know, do the, like you're at the dinner, put your arm around her and do a selfie of the two of you. That's all. Just something that lets us know that, you know, it's not the, by no means is that the only judge whether we're going to meet you. Right, right. You know, we're going to look at what does your profile say. Exactly. You know. Can we mesh that way? What kind of things you're interested in?

Sure, yeah. Yeah, all those things. But, you know, so those are some of the red flags that really make us scratch our head and go, what the fuck? Oh, we just got to – Well, I'm going to get to that one. I'm saving that one for last. What about the email? That's what I'm talking about. We'll be right back. really make us scratch our head and go, what the fuck? Oh, we just got a... Well, I'm going to get to that one. I'm saving that one for last. What about the email? That's what I'm talking about. Oh, the email one? We're saving that one for last. Okay, that one's... We're saving that for last.

That's a doozy. Well, there's... Okay. Okay, so now back to the site stuff, okay? So now, again, the single male thing. Let's just beat up on the single men for a minute. The poor single male. They're easy targets. Oh. Some of them. Not all of them. No. By no means. Lots of single males are fun. Yeah. I've had none. Well, I'm saving them all for myself. You can't have any. As you should. As you should. They're all for me. Good. I don't want them. They're all past the expiration date for me. I'll take them all.

So one of the next ones that comes to mind that's a red flag for us is when all of a sudden a guy emails us and doesn't say, and we've talked about this before, but I'm going to go over it again, like, hi, how are you? My name is, well, whatever. And it's like, oh, you know, I'd really love to get the opportunity to meet you. That's the proper, you know, time. It's like, oh, you know, I'd love to get the chance to meet the both of you, maybe over a drink or dinner. You know, if you find me, find my profile of interest, I would love to see if we could set this up.

That's a great response right there. That's a great introduction. Okay. Yeah, you got our attention. Okay. You can say, oh, your wife is beautiful. Okay, great. Yeah, lie. Bullshit. Did you bullshit today? So, but when you write an email to a couple, here's a phrase you don't want to say. I'll fuck your wife. I think we've said that one before. Yeah, I know we have. It still comes through. There's still people doing that. There's still people doing that there. Yeah. It's like, I don't need that. You don't understand. This is, I don't need you to fuck me.

Another one we had more recently that I blocked a guy was like, oh, my dick would look great inside your wife. It's like, well, hello. How are you? It's like, really?

What the fuck kind of response is that it's like block sorry and these are the guys that go to the bar and come home by themselves go i don't know why i can't pick up a check these are the red flags folks these are these are things that we these are not only for people that might be getting into swinging or people that are in swinging i'm sure if you're in swinging you've probably seen Or heard some of these I'm sure you have Your own horror stories I'd love to hear about But this is also If the single guys Here's what not To fucking say Hint hint Fucking hint I want to hit you Inside the head A baseball bat hint Jesus Christ Oh my god So now One of the other Red flags we've experienced A couple times Is You meet a couple Okay It's this one And you go out to dinner Let's say.

And I'm going to put it in this direction because that's normally how it goes. The wife is very quiet and very secluded and doesn't say a whole lot. Okay. But the husband's very boisterous, very aggressive. Animated, aggressive. Animated, aggressive. Yeah. Talking sexual, especially to you, doesn't talk to me because I'd punch him, you know, and everything else.

And then if you, for some reason, move beyond that, and we had an experience of this where actually the wife wasn't so bad but once we got into private time she became very secluded very shy withdrawn I understand but then all of a sudden he's the one going gangbusters if he doesn't get sex in the next 30 seconds his fucking head's going to explode and she's kind of like she's taking one for the team yep we've met a couple there a couple couples or she was taking one for the team yeah red flag you know if you can spot that ahead of time cut it off man just cut it off because it's it's not going to be good anyway you slice that it's not fun for it's not both parties exactly there's only one person is going to enjoy that generally and that's the guy who's the one in that couple that you know his wife's taking for the team exactly yeah you know and he's over the top all full of himself all you know but now in all reverse okay in all fairness i mean you could there and say, like, we're kind of almost reversed.

Not that I don't play with the women or whatever, but a lot of times, you know, we're using the guys who want to shoot. But a lot of times, the women are bi, so it's not as much of a thing where, you know, like, we're doing it because you want to fuck the guy. Right, exactly.

I'm just like whatever i mean yeah i'm easy obviously we've covered that topic every fucking show is that a red flag too should i be holding a flag i'm easy holding a flag jesus christ that's my job A rainbow flag Stop, I'm so proud Anyway You do that way too well It almost sounds so cute I just want to grab your little cheek And squeeze it Really?

Yeah You can't reach my chest I know I can't, I'm all the way across the other side there you probably said next to you still have to get a little stool out to get to reach my face you know shirt shit anyway um but yeah that's that takes away the fun i mean maybe if you're into that you want to do the whole you know shame on her she was you know now i was able to turn the tables on them if you remember right that one couple i'm talking about like it was obvious they were actors they both work yes oh yes and and um she was not necessarily into doing this whole thing but uh her boyfriend i don't think they were married whatever it was whatever it was yeah you could tell she wasn't kind of into it is that the one that he exclaimed that she knows her?

I'm tearing her up and she was screaming in tongues. Tongues, yep, yep, that's the one, that's the one. Go ahead. She never does that for me, is what he said. It's like, I was doing something, flowing them, or we were doing, we were messing around doing our thing. And he looks up and he goes, she never does that with does that with me and it's like well I don't know what to tell you. So that one did flip flop. Yeah I was able to backfire that for her. Yeah. But did I say we actually I heard it wasn't long after that they broke up.

Well if you're not into that if that isn't your I don't know why they broke up. They could have broke up for a multitude of reasons but if he's dragging her around just So if you experience a couple I don't know why they broke up. They could have broke up for a multitude of reasons. But if he's dragging her around just – Yeah, so if you experience a couple and it's obvious, hopefully, that one of them is only doing it to appease the other one. It's not going to be a good experience. Chances are.

I mean that one actually turned out to be pretty decent, but we actually got her to our way of thinking. She ended up enjoying herself, I'm thinking. She had a bunch of orgasms on our living room floor. Yeah, she did. I don't know how that happened. I don't know. It's a mystery to me. I was sitting right there with her. I don't know what happened. I don't know. I don't know.

I't know i was trying to talk you're taking her pulse and stuff with your tongue yeah something like that on her pussy mr innocent my dick might have fallen into her a couple times maybe i don't know i think it's a tongue that does that i don't know the tongue's a better than my dick but anyway um so you know you gotta be careful that okay another one that we have we had a couple guys that kind of did this a little bit um our friend mickey is kind of going through something like this that's why we're gonna touch were going to touch on that or not. Yeah, just a little bit.

When all of a sudden, again, if you're a guy, we also know women who've done this, but if they're in a relationship but they're swinging, you can't get emotional with this stuff. You can't, like, oh, my God, I really like you my god this is not a dating site this is somebody in the past it was that expressed like they really cared about you oh he's out in uh hershey um oh yes yeah barber friend yes every once in a while he'll be like, I want you to be my girlfriend. I want a polyamorous relationship. I told him, no, it's not going to happen. I was very upfront with him.

I just said, that's not happening. Not until I kill Vince. Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. I don't know where he got that delusion from. I really don't. Oh. Again, these guys can be lonely. Right. And you show them attention. Doesn't mean, didn't show them passion. You showed them attention, but that's all they need. And that's the same thing Mickey was going through, showing this guy a little attention.

And he just, I mean, you know, when a beautiful woman with a great body, and this goes for you too, shows a lonely guy attention, they start getting hopeful it's like maybe i have a chance because i couldn't get laid any other way but dude you're in swinging now swinging is not the same as going to a bar and trying to get laid right you're swinging it's like you put your best foot forward you take care of yourself you have a nice you know you keep your body in half decent shape after all that missed that. I missed that one. Oh, I'm working on it now. Okay, well, you keep trying. I keep trying.

I'm flawless. You are definitely flawless, dear. But me, I have to work at it. I mean, you just make yourself look as attractive as you can be. And if somebody contacts you, chances are you're going to get lucky. In the swinging world, yeah. Yeah, in the swinging world. It's not like you're on, you know, datethefarmersdaughter.com or whatever the fuck that dating sites might be. I don't know. If you have a nice personality and you're outgoing and you're friendly and you can talk to people and you're patient and you're respectful as a guy, even a single guy. Yeah.

Stop working on your dick, work on your personality. Yeah, yeah. And put nice pictures up there, not just dick pics. Like puppy pictures and some kitten pictures. That'll just, see, that's... Were you with a puppy? Oh, my God. That's what I'm saying, Jesus. Puppies are definitely chick magnets. They are. Oh, I'm telling you what. You know, you have a picture of you with your dog. That's going to get you laid. They banned me from the SPCA, though. You're there to take a picture. That's another show. That's another show. I'm not going to talk about it right now.

My lawyer says they really shouldn't talk about it. Stop it. Stop it. Sounds like you're going to an area we don't want to go to. I cannot talk about it. Can I just say? So anyway, yeah. So those are some of the things that you need to really, like just the red flags, man. Just pay attention to it. If guys get too clingy, that's a problem. We have heard of other relationships where the guy became like more of a stalker. Yeah. And actually. Yeah. I was thinking about that one too. Where, yeah, he became. Obsessed.

Yeah yeah and i played with him that never happened but see i i was gonna say i have you as my my gatekeeper but so did she she had a gatekeeper i think i'm a little more intimidating than her husband yeah you are definitely so you're also like there all the time you don't travel you don't You're always there yeah there is no her husband did travel for business and stuff but yes it's um yeah if people are getting clingy um or you know just gotta be careful or possessive that one scares me the clingy that's like the borderline.

When they start getting, like, obsessive or they become very, what's the word I'm looking for? Stop prepping your knees against a microphone stand. I'm sorry. Is that me doing that? Yeah, it's you. Sorry about that. If they become, like, controlling, like, you're not going to see anybody but me type of a thing, red flag, run away. Run quick. Yeah, like, oh, you don't need to play with anybody else in the swinging world, just me. Just me. It's like, wait, this is a swinging, this is not a dating site. I'm not looking for a husband or... But if you are, that's a different thing altogether, too.

So maybe you do. I don't know. I don't know. We're just talking out loud. But this is just our observation that we've seen in the last 20 years, we've red flags boy when things come up we scratch our head but like what is going on here so yeah just something to think about so before we move on to some of the other ones um gotta do our spunk lube oh yeah we do um we're just reached out to uh jeff the owner of spunk Spunk Lube. We're going to be getting some more samples in, um, one of the gentlemen who, uh, reached out to us and wrote some emails and stuff like that.

I'm going to send him out, uh, uh, some stuff from Spunk Lube. And, uh, so we have some other ones. So, um, catch our attention with an email at hot wife podcast at gmail.com. You might get um again we thank everyone listens yeah also go to um hot wife donalyn.com and see all the places where i am where i'm uploading my videos and all the other stuff i'm doing and having some fun and i'll be having more fun this weekend if it doesn't rain it doesn't matter if it rains we have we have a house we don't live on the streets. This is in San Francisco. I want to be outside.

Go the fuck out in the rain then. That would be hot the fuck out in the rain. Not with my $2,000 camera. We'll put a little umbrella over it. A little umbrella. You can shoot it through the window. We'll be outside. I'm afraid that you're going to melt. You're so sweet. Oh, that's me. I am so sweet. Oh, honey, you're so sweet. You're wonderful. Also, don't forget on Sunday nights, we do our live show at 9 o'clock Eastern time. You have to go to our website. Go to hotwifepodcast.com, and you can listen to the show live. You can even call in. The phone number is there. Yes, it is.

And it is on the website, and we'll still repeat it during the show. You can call in and hopefully talk with us. It would be great. Join the conversation. Yeah. It's Sunday night. Sunday night. So I know it's a holiday weekend. Oh, yeah. Everybody's doing picnics. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. And also on the website, again, we started a little affiliate program with Amazon. You can buy some products. I'm going to put some more up soon. Again, they're the same price that they are on Amazon. But if you buy them through there, then we get a couple pennies for it.

You're not going to spend more money or anything else, but it's the same exact price. But this throws us a couple. And there's also a link. If you feel generous and you wanted to buy me a bottle of bourbon or Donna or something, on the website, there's also a little sponsor or donate to the show or whatever you want to call it. Contribute to the show button. A cup of coffee would be nice.

I'm not proud proud nope so but we do appreciate the emails too so yeah we do they're interesting people how people uh are what they think of the show and uh and they've all been very positive and we really appreciate that we don't understand it but we appreciate it so that's true we do so it's always it's always fun hearing always fun hearing from people and hearing what they like about the show so we're very humbled by that or some of their own experiences which is always very interesting we'd love to hear your experiences you want to share your stories with us we're sharing ours yeah we're shameless yeah we're not proud Not not even at all so i'm a damn dog's barking i'm trying to get some air in here and they gotta be loud um but um so one of the uh oh by the way go to spunkloob.com and get some product so one of the things donna's had this happen to her twice one One was directly to her, I don't know, was that through Twitter?

Or the first gentleman from Florida contacted you? Oh, he wasn't from Florida. He was actually from Aruba. Aruba, okay. He was a guy on Instagram. Okay, his Instagram thing. Yeah, he's like, oh, I really like your pictures. Well, yeah, we'd show that back and forth.

And he would show pictures of him in Aruba and the beach or so we think they're exact i'm taking his face value i don't know at this point you know lovely pictures the beach pictures he's on the beach he's on a boat hey and then he comes on hey how about i buy you a ticket you you can come down here and i'm like well you know i'm married oh i'll pay for your husband too and i'm like uh-huh yeah right yeah i want you to come down here and um we'll uh we'll have some we'll we'll party we'll fuck i'll bring my friends up we'll do a gangbang and i was like that's pretty presumptuous when you think about it it's like i did i don't i don't even know this person i mean at least with him i i what i think is a picture of him he got really upset when i said no yeah well we received an email today from a gentleman in florida and he's we're a gentleman loosely and he was like um if your husband lets you i i would love to pay for your ticket have you come down here for a week or two and hang out with me i'll get you a room um i'll wine and dine you i'll buy you some clothes we'll fuck we'll go on the beach we'll have dinner i'll show you off to all my friends and all that stuff and so i emailed him back in the most polite way i could did i not yes i read it it was it was polite and we restrained too It was obviously restrained yeah so i basically told him in a polite way it's like first of all asshole we don't know you who the hell would pack up their wife and send them to another state okay with abductions and murder rates yeah that's what i said there it's like so I'm going to send my most treasured possession other than my daughter's.

I'll send you my ex-wife. I got no problem with that. It could be a one-way ticket. I don't care. Okay? Have fun. But that's another story. But it's like, why would I send my wife to somebody in any state? It could be the next state over from us. It could be in Jersey. I wouldn't do it. No. To someone we've never met. Exactly.

You you know you didn't include a picture yourself you have no we have no there's nothing there i mean at least the guy from instagram whether it's real fake or or whatever at least i had uh he has an instagram account he had his pictures he has pictures of himself he, you know, there's a profile there. At least there's something that could possibly be real. That email, there was nothing but text. Not a picture. There was no nothing. I was like, how do I know this isn't even real? So if you're one of these fucking idiots. Red flag.

If you're one of these fucking idiots who sends one of these emails, OK, there's a special place in hell for you if if you're an abductor or whatever, a predator. Yep. And, you know, the bullshit you think someone would and I told him, I said, Donna is not a prostitute now or nor has she ever been.

So the fact that i'm gonna have you sent him a center down there to risk her safety and i'm not going back to prison for killing you i'm just not you know i mean we'll go visit alligator alley and you fell that's all i could tell you i couldn't help it that you had steaks tied around your neck that happens every once in a while you know, I just hate it You always tell me, carry the steaks around your neck They stay fresh that way No, I say put them at your knees Oh, is that what it is?

Yeah, because it's easier for the alligators to get to That way they don't bite you Oh, they don't do it for the steaks Because if they bit your knees, then you'd fall over Oops Never mind But it's like, again, I am praying and I'm pretty sure you guys, well, you can't be too intelligent to listen to this show. No, I'm serious. You guys, I'm not serious. You are serious or not serious? I don't know what I am. What the fuck? I'm not serious. Come on, pick a side. I'm serious that these are smarter people than that. Okay.

That, you know, if your wife was ever to get something like that and she said, oh, look, this guy wants me to go to Florida. It's like, smack her. And I don't condone violence, but it's like, wake up, bitch. You don't know this person. Now, if one of these guys says, hey, would it be okay if I fly up to near you and we hang out for a weekend? I would okay that. That would be different.

out the three of us okay not the two of you again i mean abductions and shit really really i mean you don't get to go on hot dates unless it's someone we've known for a while you've played with a few times yes i was just thinking that i mean and i inserted gps up their ass. I thought that was my ass you inserted up. Whichever. It doesn't matter. Is it an ass or is it an ass? I don't know. If it was ever an ass, it was in the air when you guys were fucking. So his ass got the GPS unit. That would be mine. Oh, that's the one that... Track me, bitch. Track me.

The new butt plug that has a light on it. That's a tracker too? That's a tracker too? It's for nighttime. You can see it. Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah. We got Donna a new... We talked about the girl at the last party had a blinking light butt plug. Yeah. Well, Donna's is not only a glowing light butt plug, but it vibrates. Yes, and has a remote control. It's not yet been tested. No, it has not been tested. I think we need to do that soon. Well, Sunday night? Yeah, Sunday night. Yeah, Sunday night might be kind of cool. On the live show? Sure, why not? Okay. Yeah, that'd be fun. For you.

We'll have to do it. I keep the remote. Of course you do. I'm in trouble, aren't I? Probably. My back teeth are going to be vibrating out. Fucker. And before long, any day now, your Hitachi should be here. I know. I'm looking forward to that. So between the two of those, your head could just go. Yeah. Too many orgasms. Is there such a thing? Sometimes. When you can't think straight and your body's like mush and you can't drive home. I don't know anybody I've done that to. Yeah, you lying sack of shit.

You know, it's a shame that the next party is until September because you have a lot of women that I'm sure are really chomping at the bit to get to you. Or you'll be chomping at the bit to get to them. Well, a bunch of them have reached out that they want to get together with us. Oh, before? Yeah. Oh, so there you go, see? Your tongue has made you a legend. I guess. I'll just do what I do.

But anyway, so these are kind of things, these are red flags that if you experience them, know please stop and think about it run away i think um especially the the guy from aruba or florida either one well wait the guy from aruba was a lot more intriguing because he did have we had been talking for months so there was some kind of a quote relationship that he had pictures we we had correspondence. It wasn't just text. And he was willing to pay for the flight down and nice, you know, blah. But what happens if you don't get the return ticket? Exactly. See, there's a lot.

See, there's still more red flags. And again, you fly into Aruba. Wasn't there a young lady killed in Aruba? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yes. I just think even Aruba, Florida, whatever, it's like, no. You want to meet us? Right. You come up to us. We will. Or meet halfway or something. We'll meet you someplace. Yeah. But don't, no, not without pictures, without shaking hands, physical contact. Let me intimidate the fuck out of you, you know, whatever. I'm not going anywhere without meeting them first face-to-face. I'm not going to any state. I can't take my firearm with me. Oh, that's the other part.

Florida, I can. Oh, that's true. But, I mean, these are just all red flags. I just don't know what were these people thinking. Yeah. Were they that naive? I mean, hopefully most people don't get those two instances, the last ones. Oh, I'm sure they do. I don't think they get them as much as you're a little more publicly exposed, so to speak, with your websites and stuff. Yeah, possibly. But I mean, like, so if you're on the Swinger site, you know, I just, like I said, these single guys or people pretend to be single guys or whatever. It's like, well, I'll fuck your wife. I'm like, really?

If you don't have the respect to be polite, I'm going to let you be with my wife with you. You're not even showing respect. Yeah, fuck that noise. You know? That's not going to fly with me either. I'll put my foot down that. I'll kibosh that in a second. You won't know it's a foot, but. Okay. It could just be his tiny little. My tiny little. Damn it. I have teeny tiny feet, son. What was that noise? Is that a bird shit on my windshield? No, it was Donna stomping her feet.

i'm so massive but um yeah so again be careful with um like in the lifestyle and even i guess it probably goes true with dating sites i mean i haven't experienced that no you never have i. But just – oh, and the other thing now. Okay. What's the other thing now? I have seen people put up – this is one that I would lose my shit on. Oh, yeah? I don't know. I've seen people – I'm going to use the term people loosely. Okay. Put up a couple profile. Uh-huh.

And it could be – let me think of a name um something like um ben and beth okay you know it's like oh we're ben and beth and we'd love to meet you and all that stuff and and they're both by and i'm like okay and i'm looking at the pictures and i'm like it's the same person it's like wait a minute it's the same person ben's wearing a dress there oh there's been wearing women's lingerie okay and then you read through it and he's like i'm a i'm a cross-dresser and i go both ways is there a beth at all or is he no he's both that's his alter ego again I'm just making up names I don't know anybody in particular but I've seen it more and more so if this is something you're into hey great god bless you man have fun with that shit do not send me those pictures I'm skipping over that one fuck yeah I block them it's not something I don't mean it in a cruel way but it's not something that we are attracted to or desire.

Right. Is there not of interest? I want a real woman. If I'm going to be with a woman, I want to be with a woman, goddammit. I want to be with a woman. I want her to be a woman, too. Oh, so we think alike. That's what I love about you. I am bisexual. I'm both heterosexual and lesbian. Oh, man, I'm telling you. See, we're on the same plane across the street. See, you're heterosexual and lesbian, too. So am I. Oh, my goodness. I didn't know we had that in common. Yeah. All this years of marriage, I never knew that. I had to come out and tell you. I'm sorry. I feel better now.

And for a while, I was really like, oh, my God, I want to tell her. Does she tell her I'm a lesbian, too? She knows I'm already heterosexual, but how do I tell you a lesbian? She needs to know that I crave women. Stop it. I so long to be with a woman. I crave a woman's touch. Only a woman can satisfy me. No one, yeah. So, anyway. There's something very wrong with you. What? Do you feel better now as you come out of your little closet? I do. I feel better. Do you feel cleansed? Do you feel like a weight has been lifted? I do. I kind of feel like, oh my God, I can be proud.

I should go tell my mom. I feel like I should call my mom and tell her, Mom, I've been hiding here all these years, Mom. I'm lesbian. Vince, what the fuck? You stupid son of a bitch. What the fuck are you doing? You're having me scared. You ridiculous motherfucker. Son of a bitch. What the fuck are you doing? You had me scared. You ridiculous motherfucker. Son of a bitch. You know, I just got out of the goddamn hospital. You're going to put me back in. She'd be clutching her chest. Now I'm going to go take my own life.

My mom just got out of the hospital With congenital heart failure So luckily she made it through So thank God for that And my mom is born and raised in Sicily He's making fun of her for a good reason She talks like it is sometimes Not sometimes, all the time I was driving down the Tuna Pike Talking on my cell phone Anyway She saw her English language Not that I do, when I drink I do the same thing But it's another story I don't know. down the toe in the pike of talking on my cell phone. So, anyway. She saw her English language.

Not that I do, when I drink, I do the same thing, but it's another story. Now, the one that I love, she got, we were talking about the hospital, she goes, oh yeah, they built a new drama center at the hospital. Oh, did you see at the hospital? They built a new drama center. Yeah, Mom, they go there to act. To bleed or not to bleed. You can't try and tell it's trauma. It's trauma center. That's what I say. Drama center. Yeah, no drama center. Yeah. When I was driving there, I saw a guy in a Rolls Royce. What? In a what? Roy's Royce. Oh, okay.

And, you know, she can't say the word sprite, like the soda. It's spride. Spride. Take a spride. What? A spride. What? Whatever. There are things that just don't quite... Then people want to know why I'm fucked up. I'm just glad you can speak English as well as you do. It wasn't from your mom. That's still after debate there. Well, you had two things against you, public school and your mom. I'm not sure which one was more damaging. Oh, my God, I don't know. My mom, she's not talking too good sometimes. Not for nothing, but I'm going to, you know.

Yeah, it's almost like I have to have like a book to figure out what she's saying. Okay, so now we get to the funny part of the show. Okay, what? So my mom, born and raised in Sicily, came over when she was 10 or 12, whatever it was, doesn't know anything about having filters so my parents divorced my father's passed away some years ago but they divorced and uh one time i remember like and there's been more than one incidents like this i'm just going to go through to one because i have to go back to therapy after I tell you this story. Here's a red flag, things you never say to your kids.

Okay? So I was sitting there talking to my mom and just whatever. I don't remember how the topic got. I guess we were talking about being unhappy in the relationship or something. She wasn't happy with my father. And she goes, you know, one time I was sucking your dad's a dick and he i was like whoa ma ma please what what you think i know fucking your dad ma shut the fuck up but he's a little dick she he not to say mom shut up i don't want to say something like well how do you think you got here yeah. I don't need to play by play. All right? Otherwise, I didn't use the term blow by blow.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's like, ah, I'd suck as a dick once in a while. Mom, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you remember that story. I remember that. I was going to call my doctor and make an appointment for tomorrow for therapy. But, yeah, there's another red flag. Do not talk like that in front of your kids. Yeah. Unless you want them to be emotionally scarred forever. Especially if it's your daughter. She'll never suck a dick. Maybe you want that. I don't know. I'm not judging. But that's my mama's story. Vincenza. Noains a lot. So that's another.

That and dropping me all the time on my head. But anyway. All right. Well, like I said, we just want to caution people. People are all sorts of people out there right now. Not all good. Not all good. Majority, in all honesty, majority of people we've met in the lifestyle, I'd say 96%. I was going to say 80%, 90%. Sure. Yeah, 90%. Okay, we'll say 85. What's the difference? Sure. 85% of them are really good people. Because sometimes you're really good at also being the gatekeeper and getting out people that might not be so good for us. And then the ones we met have been actually pretty good.

We did get ghosted again Sunday so that kind of pissed me off so it does happen there were no red flags there none this is a gentleman that we talked for almost a month he would call Donna he would call me texting back and forth sending pictures of his what he was doing that weekend with his kids it was great it was like okay he even okay. He even said, oh, I'm looking forward to hanging out with you guys. I'm looking to – he's a single father. I'm looking forward to building a relationship and maybe – so we'd have some regular friends and everything else. I was like, great. Yeah, come over.

And then all of a sudden, that wasn't it. Nope. Nope. Yeah, that's what it was. Didn't call, didn't text, nothing. I texted him. I'm like, hey, you know, we're planning to get together. Hey, how about we throw some burgers on the grill? Nothing. I was like, oh, correction, we're not going to do burgers. We're going to do ribs. Nothing. One rib. What? Yeah, one rib. How much for one rib? Fuck it. But, yeah, nothing. And so I was like, oh, well. And then the time came and nothing. And you didn't call, didn't text saying, hey, I changed your mind. Go fuck yourself. Nothing. Whatever.

So we got ghosted again. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure he exists. I'm pretty sure that, you know, unless he has, like, all these videos of his kids, like, on his phone, he can just, like, yeah, I'm doing this with my kids. Oh, and videos of him doing the mutter. Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that. So, I don't know. You know, not everybody has balls. I'm just going to say it that way. You know, in a lifestyle, be respectful of people.

But also, if you get into a circumstance where all of a sudden you don't want to, for whatever reason, you decide you don't want to play with that couple or whatever, for God's sake, lie. Make up an excuse. But don't just not shout. That's just wrong. Yeah, and that's the other thing you've got to look for when you're finding playmates is everyone's got to be respectful. Well, we've said that a thousand times. Yeah, I'm repeating it. It's worth repeating. Yeah, I guess so. You know, because you're going to be, they're going to be with somebody that is special to you. Right. Not you. Not me.

I mean, somebody that's special to somebody else. Yeah, I mean, I have to find someone. Well, yeah. But when I do, that one is going to be special. That's why we're here, to find you someone special. Yeah, a special ed. I didn't say that. When that small bus comes by, we'll stop it and see if there's someone that wants to come play with you. But, no, it's, again, just thought we'd throw that little red flag show together. Not, I'm talking like my mom now. Oh, my God, I've been damaged. You're damaged. You're bored. I don't know what I got to do now. My head's, she's all messed up.

We'll do your whole show in that Italian accent. Italian accent? That'll be frightening. I think some people want me to do it in a gay voice. Oh, no. I've got a few comments about, so we'll just do the whole show like this. And then it's like, so Donna, what's the biggest cock you've ever had? I think you know the biggest cock I've ever had. Oh, my God, it's so huge. He was huge. It was, oh, my God. It was 14 inches. They had to take the wires off of it. God, he stood next to the road and they put a fucking transponder thing on top of it. It was incredible. Birds were sitting on top of it.

Oh my God. Oh my God, the wires that ran to the top of it. Wires? Telephone pole, bitch. I was thinking like a big dirigible. Dirigible? Wow, now I don't know. with the wires. Telephone pole, bitch. I was thinking like a big dirigible. Dirigible? Wow, now you're sure. Oh, the Hindenburg. Hindenburg. You know how big they own with a cylindrical? It's kind of penis-shaped? Oh, my God. Oh, the humanity. The humanity. It's a fucking... It's caught fire and exploded. Oh, no. Well, I was thinking like when when you said wires, I was thinking like a... Hindenburg with a hole in the wire. Wow.

How old are you? Yeah, but... Hindenburg? Well, it's penis-shaped. It's a cylinder glider. That's a penis that gets slammed in a desk drawer, man. It's all swollen in the the middle i've seen penises like that the ends what the fuck penises you've been dealing with don't you you don't look i do yeah no i don't look thank you i got that recorded i got proof now funky shaped penises out there i get that you know but i mean and that's fine i've never seen a penis with fins on the end i've never seen a fucking dick that's flat on the top like a pole. No, our old poles.

No, now you, one guy you d- I've never seen a penis with fins on the end. I've never seen a fucking dick that's flat on the top, like a pole. No, our old poles. Now, one guy you danced for, I called him Tollgate. He had a dick. He came out. His shorts were protruding. So his dick entered the room two minutes before he did. I still think that Big Mike was bigger than him. It doesn't matter. Both those guys are just like fucking colon wreckers. Yeah. Yeah. Man, they were big. But anyway. We digress. Go back to... The biggest... Let's wrap this up again. The biggest cock I ever had. Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. The way you're swooning over there. It's getting warm in here. I'm getting all flustered. It's just, oh, my God. My mouth's watering. I'm sweating. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Oh, you're not right. I can't go to my chiropractor appointment because I can't lay on my stomach now. I roll over. He goes, no, roll back over. Can this go where my face is supposed to go through the hole because it's hurting me? Doctor, can you crack this bone? That's not a bone.

Yes yes it is all right that's enough so all right i want to thank everyone for listening again the numbers are incredible i really appreciate you i know you're probably getting tired here of saying it every show yeah i am, I am. But, um, okay. Stop it. Fuck you all then. No, we, again, we started the show just for shits and giggles and, uh, apparently she's the giggles and I'm the shit. But, um, so anyway, but, uh, but thank you all.

And if we bring you, uh, some level of enjoyment, we're very humbled and flattered and, uh, and, uh, you know, so we'll try to keep that going and I hope we can enlighten you in any way and provide any kind of information which I don't think will ever happen but I'm going to tell you this is all you're going to learn it's still not you know I don't know what you're looking for but I'm going to tell you we don't know a god damn thing That's why we had to do this claim in the beginning of the show This is not medical advice These are just two bums Just sitting here drinking Talking Kind of just drunk texting but verbally That's true And what are you drinking tonight?

I am drinking New Riff 100 Proof Bourbon Is that the bottle you opened up the other night? Yes And our playmate He drank half of it? Yes he did He was a happy guy He got a good cigar He got some good bourbon And he got the fuck you What's here to be bad about? I, I, I... Well, you know, let's see. He got a good cigar, he got some good bourbon, and he got to fuck you. What's here to be bad about? Weren't we ending the show, and you're just starting right back up? Yes, I'm sorry. That's all right. I'm just doing a rum and coke, so that's it. I'm going to say goodnight to everyone.

Goodnight, everyone. Goodnight. I'll see you next time.