Perfect on Paper… Delusional in Reality

Transcript

Speaker1: This program contains strong sexual content. No one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download this podcast in any manner. The host, guest, and performers are all over the age of 18. Rebroadcasting the podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the Hot Wife podcast. The commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of Hot Wife podcast owners, agents, or representatives. This podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice. Hello everybody, this is Donna Lynn and welcome to my Hot White Podcast. And of course, as ever, I am here with my wonderful husband, Vince. Hello. And what are you doing over there? Looking at my little rechargeable spot. Oh, your little rechargeable. Yeah, okay. That's what you're doing. It's like you're always fidgeting with something when we do something like this. Well, this is your show. Oh, that's right. Well, We're recording my show after this one. Yes, we are. Which is totally different. Totally different topic. Yeah. And it might even be good. Maybe. It's called Over Cigar. And Donna is going to join me on my show tonight, today, whenever we're going to put it up. And I'm not really... I have smoked cigars. I have... Smoked bones. I smoked a lot more bones than cigars. I like bourbons that I like, but I'm not really a bourbon drinker per se. You don't need to be. No, but that's basically what you guys like to pair your cigars. But this is not that show. No. This show is something totally different. This is a show about- And there'll be no sex on my over-cigars. And none whatsoever. So, yeah. Sorry. All of a sudden, I just got all the people who thought about listening, they are not listening. They're like, oh, it's not about sex? No. No, it is definitely about cigars and things that people- It's about life. Yeah, it's about what people talk about over a cigar. Yeah, what do friends say? In a cigar lounge, you're sitting around shooting the shit. What do you shoot the shit about? Everything. Yeah, how bad our wives are. Oh, absolutely. Oh, it's kind of like this show. No. Yeah, it is kind of like that show in that way. Sure, it is. Absolutely. Okay. So, I'm done fidgeting. I'm sorry if that bothered you. I didn't realize that bothered you, but okay. I mean, it's your show. You should be carrying on. The Hot Husband Podcast. Oh, as it should be. It should be The Hot Husband Podcast. If you want to make money, it would be. I'm not going to get into that. You're very bitter with that, aren't you? No. You had a whole song and everything that really cracked me up. I thought it was very good. Oh, the intro song? The intro song. Not like this one. No, you had a Hot Husband intro. This is the over a cigar intro. Okay. Okay. Enough farting around. Trying to draw people away from your podcast. Oh, that's what you're trying to do? Well. Show dominance. Anyway. So. Fucking winter's back. I know we talk about weather all the time, but. That's the first thing we talk about. Yeah. Okay. So we got that out of the way. It feels like winter's back. It sucks. So anyway. Info at Hot Wife Podcast. There you go. If you want to write to us. Comments. Share your thoughts. Comments. Likes, dislikes, whatever. Dislikes are generally me, but that's a different story. Oh, God, please stop. Stop. Anyway, what do you want to talk about tonight? Ooh, there's something we've been chatting about quite a bit because of a certain person, and it is the pursuit of perfection. Yeah. And we have, this is our observation with this one. This one is definitely a hands-on observation we have seen with this particular person I'll remain nameless at this point. And her pursuit with guys that she wants to be with that are absolutely perfect. Not that she doesn't have a great body and all that, but I mean, none of us are perfect. I mean, okay, you, whoa, okay, you, all right, okay. All right, let me take that back. Wow, that got kind of ugly real quick. No, I was going to say, I was going to say, but you- I have the mute button. And I'm not afraid to use it. He has the power. I can shut you right down. I will get that. Okay, everyone except Vince, who is perfect, is not so perfect. So for you to pursue that perfection is kind of, well, superfluous, actually. This individual, and we love her, don't get us wrong. We do. Sweet woman. She is... You may or may not know who we're talking about. We'll leave it blank at this point. She has this specific appetite. Good wording? That's a good way to put it, yeah. That she thinks that her playmates need to only conform to a certain criteria. Correct. If you don't fall on that criteria... She won't even give you time of day. Nope. Okay. That is not me. That is definitely not me. Then, no, yeah, you're a lot more open. I mean, hey. Oh, my gosh. You married me, but that's different. Because you are perfection. Well, I didn't want to have to overstate the obvious. Okay, candle's lit now, so the bullshit smell will burn off. What are you trying to, who's bullshitting here? Me. It's why the candle's closer to me. That's kind of in between. Yeah, she's, this individual, you know, has a particular, And she complains, let's just use the terminology, she's starving. But she only wants to eat a certain meal. Right. This meal has to look a certain way. Right. It has to taste a certain way. It has to have a certain growth and length. Well, it just has to be a certain meal. It has to be a certain meal. No, it has to be a certain meal. We'll just put it that way. Yes. Well, then when she gets the meal. Uh-huh. Even though she's starving. And the meal was good, but. The meal had too much butter in it. It needed a little more garlic. I was going to say salt. You know, the sausage wasn't girthy enough. That's exactly, that's a good analogy. The meat was a little flaccid. It wasn't cooked well enough. See, we're going with this. You know, she, not that she doesn't like it. She doesn't look great, but she's not perfect. No. Okay. But she demands perfection. Yeah. She demands perfection, which I find very odd. Yeah, and she got what she was wanting. You know, she got to play with a guy who was good looking. Right. And apparently they fucked like three times in an afternoon. Yeah, he came three times. It's like, okay. And everything else, but then when it was all said and done. His dick wasn't girthy enough. Okay, did you come? Yeah, yeah. Did he come? Yeah. Fuck, you know. Was he good looking? Oh, he's gorgeous. Good body? Oh, great body. Okay, and his dick wasn't quite girthy enough? That was her complaint? But then she also complains how her pussy's so tight, she couldn't get him in anyway. So how, so he was, so he, so it was plenty girthy. Your pussy was just too tight. She's the same one who like, she can't even put a toy in because it hurts my pussy too much. So then she met another guy. Okay, here we go. And this guy, she says, oh, he's got a great cock to suck. Well, that's great. I, I trust you. Apparently, he likes to do mushrooms before sex. Oh, yeah. See that. Okay. I could not speak to what mushrooms do or don't do to a person. Never did one. Sexually speaking. They're hallucinogen, for sure. Okay. But now, because he was on these, and he may have taken too many, that all of a sudden, he had a hard time. Staying hard. Getting hard. And then when he got hard, get it in. Oh, she's too tight. Oh, boy. And she's disappointed about that. Not taking any blame for that, even if he had a big girthy dick, that, you know, he wasn't going to get it in there apparently anyway. Maybe, maybe not. It's just a weird scenario. It's like, and we know other people that have, like, get enamored with someone because, and we've talked about this in depth, the magic... Dick. Yep. The magic dick. It's like, hey, you realize this guy you're with is an asshole. Yeah, but he's got a great cock. His cock is so great. It's like... No one wants to be around you when you're with him. Nope. But he's got a great cock. Again, I'm having more of a relationship, sexual and otherwise, more than just with a fucking penis. If I want a fucking penis, I'll take a dildo. I'll get a dildo. I have a dildo that vibrates. If I want that whole, oh, I have to look real, blah, but I don't want the bullshit that comes with it, get a dildo. Get a dildo. Well, how do you put up with that bullshit? I don't understand. Now, don't get me wrong. The swinging environment enables you to pick what you want on the menu. Sure. And you can sit there and say, hey, I only want something from column B. True. You can do that. But not everything in Column B is going to be that fantasy that you want. Well, yeah, that we've also discussed, there is definitely a, there is a difference between your fantasy and the reality that actually happens. Sure. So you'll have to take that into account. But when some people get this delusion that they are above I guess that's the way I want to put it. Okay. Of like, I deserve, I only want this. I am incredible. It's like, eh. Do you really want me to flip the page and read to you from the back of the page a shit that's wrong? Because it's not a page. The rest of it's a fucking novel. And it's not like we're perfect either. Oh, except for you. Would you stop adding me to your world? Okay, they're just me. I am not perfect. My husband is, okay? Thank you. Let's just go there. People are going to start believing that. You keep saying that shit. Well, here's the thing. I've had multiple. She was always amazed. Like, Donna, how are you getting fucked so much? I'm not as picky as you. I'll go with this guy. Oh, yeah, he's doing this. Well, you've married perfection, so you're not going to surpass that. Exactly. So I just take all the seconds or fine. Or thirds, yeah. And also I have a wider appreciation. Good thing you finished that statement. A wider appreciation. Well, I have a wider appreciation. Well, I do have a wider appreciation of what guys can bring to the table. They may not be visually what I think would be fun, and they end up being a great time. So you don't know because they were, you know, maybe they spent a little more time, you know, being a passionate kisser or had other attributes that are made up for the visual that might not have been quite up to my, what I want. It was my liking. But I was like, oh, you know, but I'm okay with that. I'm, you know, I just. I actually, you know, it's kind of related. Right. Reach out because I saw he had viewed our profile on SOS. Okay. The older gentleman. Oh, yes. The reorder. Yes. I said, hey, long time, no talk. How you been? Now, he hasn't responded yet, but that doesn't mean anything. No, it doesn't mean anything. But these women, the two that I'm talking about. Would not even. Would not even. No. They wouldn't buy this guy lunch. Probably not. And that's really sad. He has a great cock. That's what you're interested in. Okay, yeah. I would have started out with, he's a great guy. He's a great guy. But that's me. I'm not really interested in his cock. Yeah. But he was an older gentleman. He's older than me, so he's in his 70s. And it worked great. He was a lot of fun. He came to the table with a lot of unusual talents. And by that I mean the tantric massage. He'd bring me a bottle of bourbon. Which makes him a favorite right off the bat. For you, yes, it does. Because now it's like you hand me a bottle of bourbon, you can do what the fuck you want with my wife. There you go. And that works all the time. You want to get to me? Bottle of bourbon for him. Especially if you send me a bottle of Buffalo Trace. Oh, no, no. It would have to be Woodford Reserve Double Oak. Woodford Reserve Double Oak? I have to bring a friend. I don't even hear the screams for help at that point. I know. Sadly, no, he would not hear the screams for help. Only kidding, he would definitely hear the screams for help. He just wouldn't do anything about it. I would finish the bottle of bourbon and then smash your head in with it, but that's it. What, my head? Thank you. Well. Okay. He's kidding. He's kidding. No, not your head, no. But yeah, I mean, they wouldn't give him the time of day. There's a lot of other people that... Like that one lawyer that you... is a semi-regular. Oh, yeah. He's a lot of fun. But he's kind of a... He's got a great body. Oh, he does. He works out. He's great. But he's visually nerdy. Yeah, he wears glasses. He has like a more nerdy hair. Yeah, it's his profession. Yeah, he's very nerdy-looking. looking a little bit. It doesn't bother me. I don't care. No, he's a great guy. He's a great guy. I think the world of him. Actually, it makes it kind of fun. It's like, ooh, I'm taking, I'm getting this nerdy guy all dirty. You know what I'm saying? It's like. I never had those thoughts. Oh, well, I, well, when I look at the video, I'm like, oh yeah, I can see I'm definitely, you know, defiling this nerdy guy. He didn't keep his glasses on the whole time. I think it'd be funny. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. On the surface, you don't give them the time of day. I think you're really missing out because there's so many other things. You got a chance to talk to this person. You might find out that, hey, they're really funny. They have a lot of other hidden talents. Not just sexual, but a lot of hidden talents that you don't know about. In all fairness, it also depends on what are you looking for. What are you looking for? Are you looking for a relationship? Or are you looking to just fuck? Are you looking for that perfect fuck? That fantasy fuck? You know what? you will never ever obtain that fantasy fuck. Because it is, in fact, a fantasy. You're not out there. You're not in the market. I'm not that available. I have things to do. Oh, okay. I see where this is going. I'm a 100-woman man. 100-woman. And if you were 101, you are not going to make it on his dance card. I'm sorry. I have limits. You have limits. Yeah, but I just think people are missing out on a really good time. and nasty and flies buzzing around his head. Talk to him. You know, what's wrong with having sex with the person? Might not visually be the ideal situation, but maybe they're a really nice person. You know, like, okay, when we first met, I was like, I don't know, should I give her a try? No, she's not. Pretty stripper, nice body. Not really my type. Not really your type. Well, no, you like the Mediterranean looking. And I'm definitely not that. Nope. You're like the tall, willowy, dark-skinned. None of the women I've ever dated were like that. See, that just goes to prove it's sometimes your fantasy, what you consider the ideal is not the ideal. Yeah, you weren't my ideal either. You should go for guys. Well, that's where I was going. Yeah. You know, again, I was quote-unquote happily married. Of course you were. And I didn't cheat, as you know. Oh, I know, I know. I should have. Yeah, you should have, but you didn't, but I admire that. See, now you're allowed to cheat. It's not cheating if I give you permission. Yeah, that's true. Okay, never mind. Yeah, it's not cheating. It's not cheating if you give him permission. No. Takes all the fun out of it. Yeah. But... You can pretend to cheat. Yeah. Then it would ruin it. I'd feel guilty. You're such a dick. There's no pleasing you. No, it's my nature. If I was going to do something to hurt somebody, especially a person I care about, I'll introduce you one day to her. Okay, that's great. Thank you. I look forward to that, Dad. That would... Well, it's pretend cheating. It's not real cheating. It's pretend cheating. No, it's not. I don't find that erotic. Oh, okay. You just don't role play well, do you? No, I don't. No. See, you have... That's why I hung my Batman suit up forever. I won't wear it again. Yeah, it was starting to stretch out in a couple places, you know? I mean, through the middle. Wow. Oh, is your perfection showing? Yeah, just because I had to put, you know, the handicap handrails in your invisible jet, Wonder Woman, as you get older. Put the handicap tag hanging in the mirror, the invisible jet there, Wonder Woman. I got that placard. That's the only thing you fucking see. It's a handicap placard going through the air. It's a handicap placard. And your pens hanging out the back of your fucking Wonder Woman outfit. You're just so wrong. Oh, you just took something very sexy. You just made it so dirty. I'm not talking about Linda Carter. I'm talking about you. I'm not Linda Carter. I'd want Linda Carter's outfit made out of the same material that that fucking Jets made out of. She has got to be one of the most beautiful women of all time. She certainly is one of them. She's aged gracefully and beautifully. Anyway, back to the topic. And there's piercing blue eyes, I'm telling you. And there's big tits, long legs. I can't even get down that low. He went right by the eyes. I'm just stuck on the eyes. The hourglass figure, just. Yeah, she's definitely stunning. That's it. I'm going to give in. She can have me. Okay. Her husband passed away a few years ago, so. Oh, yeah. She might be desperate. She might be desperate. That's terrible. say such a thing because she's available oh look at you oh she might need somebody to comfort her in her time of need yeah she would say Vince give me a comforter I'm cold yeah that's that's what she would do for sure um anyway um yeah I think when you are that's unattractive being pompous enough that you think you deserve only what you deem to be the best and like and if someone falters from your definition, like all of a sudden it's like, oh my God, he couldn't keep hard. Oh my God. That's got to be a whole other topic another time is about women with their whole thing about men's erections. Women just have to be there. Yeah. Men have to be physically and mentally in the game. You know, if you're frustrated with work or whatever, as we get older, you know, or our T's aren't all there. Yep. You know, So, just remember, our dicks might hang down a little bit because we're not hard, but so do your tits. Oh, that's harsh. Gravity, no matter how you put it, is not your friend, man or woman. That's the only way my dick's going to get longer. Gravity. If length matters, does stiffness at that point? Well, you wanted my dick to be, you know, eight inches. Longer, but. It's eight inches, but, you know. Hanging on the floor. I'm kind of a swinging elephant trunk now. Anyway. Oh, man. Anyway, so yeah, it's a very big turnoff to have a conversation with somebody, man or woman, that, you know, they think that they are so superior that they need to have someone that is, in their eyes, superior also. It is pretty pompous. Yeah. I definitely can see that for sure. I mean, there's a lot of guys that, you know, that I would definitely play with. And they're not perfect, but they're fun. You know, they're fun in the sack. They have a lot of energy that way. They have a lot of sexual energy. They have a lot of other attributes, but visually they're not quite perfect. But all those other attributes, kind of for me, make them exciting and fun. None of them are like the ripped. I don't think any of my playmates would have met with her criteria, except the one gentleman, and he stood her up. The landscaper guy who's really built. She would have bitched about him because his dick is too big. Oh, dear God. There's no fucking pleasing. Yes, his dick is pretty big. That's the point. There is no pleasing her. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe that's her defense. She's going to make excuses across the board. Yeah. Oh, your dick's too big. Oh, well, then stretch your pussy out. Maybe you've got to do something with your body then. I mean, there are guys that I've had to accommodate, and I do mean accommodate, and they were really big, and it was a challenge. It was a challenge for me. Well, you know, another thing is the one when we're talking about plays, at a whole different level. Apparently, she smacked the one guy and punched him right in the fucking chest. Oh, my God. And he goes, what the hell is that for? She goes, I wanted to. Yeah, she's rough. See, that's another thing, too. I don't like that kind of roughness. Vigorous sex is fine, but yeah, I've seen her be with a guy and then she just smacks him. Bam! You're a bad boy. You're a bad boy. And it's like, What are you doing? Did you guys talk about this? Is he okay with that? You kind of make sure that the person you're going to do that with is like, yeah, do you like, like when you have sex, do you like being smacked around a little bit? Oh, yeah, I love it. Okay, then that's a conversation that's okay, that's all good to go. But if you're talking to somebody- I think the actually with her should be, during sex, do you like it to be like a bar fight? It's not that bad. I'm going to like go over, grab a chair, and smash you over the head while you fuck me. No. You said it was MMA sex. Sex, yeah. It's like you're going to an octagon, you know, and she's like, okay, you want to have sex with me? I'm going to beat the fuck out of you first. Come on, come on, big boy. Come and get me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you only lasted three minute round? Oh, you pussy. You're a little pussy. You're such a pussy. Yeah, it's her favorite term too. You're a little pussy. It's like, oh boy. Anyway, all right. We're not trying to trash her. her as an example. That's just an observation. We do. We love her to death. But it's like, I'm shaking my head like, this is why you're not happy. Just loosen up. Maybe what you have in your fantasy is so unobtainable that you will never, ever be happy. And why are you doing this? Why are you in this pursuit with this person? Okay, not for a relationship, I get it. But you want to be happy. You want to feel good. There's another aspect with her, too, I don't understand. What's that? There might be more to it. Unfortunately for her, when she was younger, she had a bad, violent experience. Right. Maybe that's... That's all she wants to do now. Isn't that weird? She also had that experience with a certain type of person, and she won't have anything to do with that. She's blaming it on that type of person, not on the act. No, she's blaming it on that type. So she's embracing the act. Well, no, she's blaming on that type of person, but not that particular individual, because not everybody who is like that individual is that way. That's like saying all short people like me are, I don't know, stupid. Well, that might be. Hang on, let me think about that. You might have to contemplate that a bit. But it's not fair. She put everybody, she generalized, she overgeneralized. It's like, just because that particular person was a bad person, he did that to you, doesn't mean like every person that might resemble him is going to be that way. Why would you replicate the act if it was so horrible? That's another thing that's, we're not psychologists, folks. And it's not like it's like, I replicated her on the anniversary. No, it's like every fucking time. Yeah, why would you embrace something that you found very unpleasing, very traumatic? Yeah. You know, why would you, why would you embrace that? That doesn't make any sense to me. Some years ago, I was in a bar and there was a big bar fight and everything else. So now every time I go into a bar, I start a bar fight. Yeah, it's that kind of mentality. It's like, no, that doesn't make any sense to me. But there's so much psychological stuff there. I'm suffering from one thing right now. I mean, it used to be I used to come home and get a blowjob, but I don't get a blowjob every day. I should. Yeah, you deserve it. For sure. Talking to you. Oh, I'm sorry. You're talking to me. Anyway. All right. Well, anyway, with that said, 50shadesofpleasure.com. Check it out, the free magazine. And like we said, info at HotWave Podcast. If you have any interest in cigars, bourbon, and just humor that isn't sex-based. Okay, never mind. Well, I'm just saying. It might have some sexual tone, but it's not going to be a swinger show. No. Check out overacigar.com. There's also a magazine for cigar and bourbon enthusiasts, just like 50shadesofpleasure.com. It's a pleasure, without the nudity. More about cigars and burgers. Oh, okay. Well, I'm not going to. Yeah, check it out, though. And... Do you want to see what I'm doing? No, I don't. I've seen it. I've seen it to death. Oh, yeah, you've seen it to death. He doesn't want to. Okay, never mind. But for the rest of you, it's hotwifedonnalyn.com. I'm one of several, well, seven or eight different platforms. You pick and choose which one you want to see. Just go to hotwifedonnalyn.com. And you have your pick of platforms. Yep. That's what he said. Oh, shut up. I hate when I'm right. Oh, I do. I hate it. I'm perfectionist. Oh, and the pursuit of perfection goes on. You don't have to chase me. I don't run. I don't have big toes. I can't run. Okay. I still walk faster than you. Shut up. I take bigger strides. Oh, you suck. Okay. All right, everybody. Hey, stay horny. All right. Have a good night, everybody.