One Night Stands

Transcript

this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest performers all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary this program is the sole opinion of its host Host or guest.

It does not reflect that of the opinion of the hot white podcast the commentary this program is the sole opinion of its host or guests it does not reflect that of the opinion of the hot white podcast owners agents or representatives this podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice hi this is donna lynn and my Hot Wife Podcast, where we discuss all the good, the bad, and the really erotic of this winger lifestyle. All right, hi everyone, this is Hot Husband Vince, and I'm sitting here tonight with my wonderful wife Donna.

I just opened my mouth to say and I'm sitting here tonight with my wonderful wife, Donna. I just opened my mouth to say why you surely did. I was not expecting that, not even a little bit. The intro is playing. I'm thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, I should do that. Go ahead. Replace it with what it's supposed to be. I don't know what to say now. You just stole my thunder, you son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Well, I mean, hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and I'm here. Welcome to my Hot Wife podcast, and I have a douchebag for a husband. Now the truth comes out. We all know that.

Now my pet name is available to everybody. Oh, God, that's too fucking funny. Douching bagging. Douching bagging. And like your last name's Coombslut. It's Dutch. Freaky deaky Dutch. Oh, fuck. That was funny.

Did we ever tell that story about the hot wife necklace yes we did okay just yeah we did yeah you want to visit it for those that might be new just briefly i don't want to because that was probably two years ago almost that we did that story no no you got me that necklace last summer so it's been a two summers ago dear really it's been two summers ago yeah well anyway my husband got me this necklace that says hot wife on it and i was um i wore it under a shirt i was wearing and i had to go to a dentist appointment so the hygienist there i didn't think anybody could see it but the hygienist there could look and she goes oh's a really nice necklace.

What does it say? I was like mortified. I said, it says hot wife. I didn't say hot wife. I said hot wife. Oh, that's really sweet to your husband. I'm like, yeah, my husband thinks I'm really sexy. And I'm like, oh, boy. Well, I do. How do you get out of that one? But she didn't catch on to it, so. And then I said, I'm glad I didn't get you the cum slut necklace. Yeah. And I said, oh, my God, can you imagine? What does your necklace say? Kumsloot is my maiden name. Yeah, I'm German. German or Dutch. Kumsloot.

They just couldn't put the umlauts over it so yeah that would have been i wouldn't i wouldn't know what to say with that one it's like ah you got me i i'm kum so well the thing is it's like the hot wife was all written in script so it didn't really wait not blatant it wasn't like block letters they've said kum so you'd be like oh what is that a flower did floral design or what is that kum kum's sluta i was like what is that is that a c or is that an l maybe it's a l Lutas Lutas? Maybe it's an S. Story's over. You know, I mean, it could have gone a lot of different ways. Sure.

How do we go out of that one? So, hey, Thanksgiving is over. That means we're bearing down on Christmas. Ay. Already. I haven't even sat on Santa's lap yet. Well, first of all. Or any other part of him. He sat on a lot of bearded men's laps. Yeah, I got like all the same kind of thing over and over again. So we hope everyone had a good and safe Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Hopefully you enjoyed your time with your family um and hope everyone's healthy and everything else so um jay has sent us some emails with uh she sent some videos of showing more of her toys she's got quite the toy collection which we're going to do another show about that show about toys about toys. Another show about toys. So we'll tell you what. We're going to put this out ahead of time. Okay. We're going to do a show called How Many Toys Does a Woman Need? So we'd like to hear from you guys. Email us at hotwifepodcasts at gmail.com.

Tell us how many toys, if you're a woman or a man, whatever, how many toys you have and really, how many, do you mean, are you missing some? There's some you want? Do you have too many? Do you have just one favorite? How many is too many? That's it, yeah. Tell us your thoughts on that. Email us, like I said, hotwifepodcasts at gmail.com.

I'd be curious to see what people say about that yeah i just know what i have oh jesus christ well you know i like them you know i i like a variety you know just like your men just like okay you can put it that way because it depends what you need for you know and i'm not going to say anything else about it till we actually do the show so there so yeah well we'll see you know email us with the you know i mean we have jay's stuff already you know and apparently she got some interesting stuff i'll have to show you this video we'll talk about that later because i have not even seen the video she shows these toys, but doesn't show me how she uses them.

That would make the video far more interesting. Well, it'd be so much more informative. Maybe we're using them wrong. Yeah, it was for educational purposes. Absolutely. I mean, it's like, I don't get how, what you do with that. Yeah, it's got so many prongs on it. I don't know how that goes on the back of your neck or your shoulders absolutely you know what makes that her favorite yeah i just i tried some of them on my shoulders and you know what it's just not the same i don't know so we'll have to figure it out um we'll have to keep experimenting and find out but But tonight's topic is...

One night stands. We've all had them? I'm sure most of us have had them. I can't say we've all had them. Okay, I've had a lot of them. Yeah, and that was just yesterday. But, you know, back in the early days of dating and stuff like that you you know it's kind of the kind of what happened yeah and well but what i'm saying is it is it more acceptable now i guess in dating i mean not that i know but as part of the lifestyle it kind of is you think Being in a lifestyle, it's kind of like a one-night stand? Well, there's people you meet, and you might play with them, and then afterwards go, eh.

Oh, just like a one and done? Yeah. Yeah, we've had that. We've had a lot of them. We've had it where we don't want to see someone else again. It's like, okay, it wasn't anything special.

And then there's ones where we don't hear from them right you're like you know so you know but um so tell us about some of your one night stands i was thinking about um once i'm this is going back i mean back i was probably 20 and i was um uh i was still an art student and there was a guy i've been flirting with and in the uh he was like in one of my drawing classes or painting classes we had this like fire going on between us you know and you know we were making all kinds of sexual comments back and forth you know saying fuck you is not a sexual oh that's what i did that's what i went wrong kiss my ass unless Unless you're talking like French.

Yeah, that would have been good. And the thing is, we decided to meet at this hotel. We both had like, you know, we're all riled up. This is going to sound awful, but by the time we got there, both of us were like, yeah, you know, I thought it would be a whole lot more fun. Did you guys play? We did, but it was like both of us were like, yeah, it was hotter, but it was just that. The sexual tension. The sexual tension was there. By the time we actually got to it, it was like both of us were like, yeah, it was a lot more fun before. There was like a lot more excitement.

Of course, we're still not in the studio, so the dog is barking. Sorry about that. Well, and again, that's what we say in the lifestyle. We've met couples and or singles that, you know, everything seems great. It's like, oh, wow, they're hot looking and everything else. Right, right. And again, it works in reverse. Yeah, I agree. I mean, obviously not with me, but I'm just not going to drop names. Don't drop names. But no, you said, okay, it wasn't everything I hoped for. Yeah, sometimes you do that whole like sexting thing back and forth.

And, you know, they're sending you videos and you're sending them videos or pictures or this or that. And it's very titillating and exciting.

And then when you meet meet them in person it's like what happened to the the sexual dynamo that i was you know sexting the day before it's like kind of like a letdown it's like well does somebody else like do their texting for you because you were so much more you know animated and you had videos and this and that then i meet them and they're like they're like kind of like blah not maybe it's me maybe it's just you know, animated and you had videos and this and that, and then I meet them and they're like, they're like kind of like blah. Maybe it's me.

Maybe it's just, you know, I expected more, I expected more of that excitement. Well, there's one gentleman that we met who claims to be the stand-up comedian. Right, right. And I have yet to hear one funny thing out of him. Yeah, he was one.

He doesn't have a great conversation no he doesn't have um i don't know i didn't hear anything jovial from him nothing nothing not even a goddamn knock knock joke no nothing and the thing is he had contacted me through i think twitter he found me on twitter i'm like hey hey we're sos no it was a twitter yeah it was twitter he's not in the lifestyle and he said uh you know hey i'm kind of local i'm i'm in a you know whatever town over you know i'm in the city you know i can come out in fact there was one time i was like yeah you know i'm getting home from work right now he goes well i could drive i have a car i could meet you there i'm like whoa whoa it's me like 10 o'clock at night i don't think so i was like whoa yeah pump the brakes a little bit buddy and i met him it was like no no conversation i mean very limited i well not that he's a bad person there was no connection he's a fine person just yeah i just there's no connection there's no connection I hate saying it that way well we're not using his name nothing there I think it's well one it's easy to hide behind keyboards phones and what have you again but again uh it's you know you can talk as sexy as you want but then try to talk sexy in front of someone right right can be a lot more challenging i i guess you think it would be like i don't know you you think that you'd already have that kind of relationship but then you met them you just you already have but when you have that foundation yeah but when you're looking at someone and all of a sudden the pictures aren't necessarily the most updated pictures or that could be you know um yeah you're shaking your head no the dog sitting by the door yeah we try to take her out before the show she doesn't like the rain yeah anyway um princess but you know um yeah it's tough but you know again you can be real suave suave whatever you're saying it is right um or online but when you get to do it in person yeah it's it's different it's a lot different i agree i agree see i i would rather talk sexy either over the phone or in person than i would through texting yeah yeah i agree you know because i think the inflection in the voice and everything else adds so much more to it Thank you.

through texting yeah yeah i agree you know because i think the inflection in the voice and everything else adds so much more to it oh absolutely but absolutely but yeah no back to the one night stand thing you know it's it's a primal instinct of of the challenge of the hunt or whatever right and then you know then okay i've i've captured this i've conquered it i've conquered it now it's like okay it's not so it's like you know hey wow there's that real hot chick you know it's like you know you you beat out i'll say it from the man's aspect right it's like okay i've outdone all the other competing males right this one is interested with me i'm going to take take her home.

And then you find out it's like, that wasn't all that. That's so disappointing. Well, yeah. I'm trying to think of all the other one nights. There's so many. I mean, there's a lot.

I used to work at a restaurant graveyard shift, and I remember after our shift shift there's a hotel next door and um i i i was hoping it would be a threesome with my my one friend who i was pals around we always we kind of like had sex together quite a bit he was my sex buddy and um one of the cooks you know took an entrance i thought oh we're gonna have a threesome this is gonna be so great and like you know we went next door to this hotel i thought oh man we're gonna be here it's gonna be so much fun and i did play around with the cook that my friend and i took back to this hotel but it was like after it was done he goes okay i have to go home now and i'm like we paid for a hotel room for the whole night i thought we're gonna i thought it was gonna be a threesome again it was like okay i i fucked you now i'm gone see you and it and my my friend and i were like what what we paid for a hotel for the whole night we might as well so wow i think we stayed there i you know because we already paid for it i mean why not but so it was you and another girl and this guy?

No. It was my gay friend that I grew up with in high school. He wasn't going to be playing with a guy, but he was going to play with me. Okay, so it was going to be? Me and two guys. You and two guys. So you think the guy was not comfortable with the gay guy?

My friend really wasn't out of the closet yet, because we were messing around quite a bit so so you messed around with the guy who left yes okay did you mess around with the gay guy that i'm sure we did okay oh yeah i'm sure we did but it was like hey it would i thought it'd be more fun with you know another person but whatever interesting it was another one that kind of like you know it was all excitement at work you know you're all all revved up but then you get to the actual play time and it's like another one kind of like lackluster for the same reason though you get that you're all high from that that sexual tension it's a chase it's a chase it really is and again you know i'm not any or claim to be any official relationship expert but i think one of the problems that happens in relationships and this is where i think swinging can help right if it's something that is uh agreeable to both people in the fact in the marriage or relationship whatever but in a marriage like once you get married the the chase is gone could you say you become complacent yeah exactly and so that's where swinging kind of i think brings that back in because now you're yes you you have your significant other, but now you get to have that chase with various other people.

Right. And being chased, which can be exciting too. Very exciting. And so you get to have that little side thing and then get to also then go do it with your significant other. Like, oh my God, that was so hot. Or maybe it wasn't hot. So now I need you to fulfill something, you know.

was fun but it's usually fun but sometimes it's well and i've said this before uh numerous times um i probably said too much too many times maybe probably but um the aspect of one of the neat things about uh playing with other people is that it is new it's different not necessarily better yes you have said you would have good sex great sex or whatever with someone else other than your significant other but it might not be better right right but the fact that it was just different a little more spontaneous a little more dangerous a little more teasing you know maybe the aspect that was arousing was the fact that you were teasing your mate while you're being or getting fucked you know that depends on who's doing it you know what was you have to you know was the person you're messing around with really the fun part?

Or was the fun part teasing? We're knowing you're rocking this person's world. Ah, it could be. But they weren't really rocking your world. Yeah, that's cool. But it pumps your ego. It does. Sure. Well, what about you? What about your one-night stands? I mean, you were such a, you know, a lover. Yeah, I didn't have a lot of one-night stands. I mean, I had most of my kind of one-night stands were, I mean, a couple of things that happened, like at a bar, I'd be drinking. Right, right. And, you know, a girl and I would go out into the car and mess around.

Well, that's, that wouldn't have been a one-night stand. Yeah, I mean, there's different people I worked with that I messed around with. We talked about some of those. Oh, yeah, yeah. But there's been others. You know, I don't know. You know, unfortunately, from my past, when I would go to a bar, I didn't go to pick up women. I went to get drunk. Your true love. Yeah, and if I wasn't drunk, I would, you know, I'd be getting in fights. Oh, my God. Stuff like that. Well, I have one that was pretty cool.

There was a manager at the same restaurant that I was still working at during the graveyard shift.

There was a manager, and I needed a ride home, and we become friendly he was he was pretty cool he was cool but um it ended up he dropped him off he was going to drop me off at my my parents place and i took him in the backyard and fucked him underneath the trees in the backyard and it was just at one time out see that was fun sure that was fun and like it was just a one-time thing he was married blah it was just one time it was you know i don't know if we had a towel or a blankie we put on the ground and we fucked behind the the trees in the back of my parents house and so that when he was giving you a ride home did you have intentions that you wanted to do this or is this like something that happened in the conversation on the way home it was kind of like in the conversation the way home like we were kind of like for where you worked to when you got home it wasn't a long ride no not really i guess um i i'm trying to remember what led up to this is a long time ago i might have been 20 well the fact you're sitting in his front seat naked kissing him a little indicator there no i don't think we might have been like you know kissing in the car and then i was like let's go around the back you know and we had a blanket or a towel something we put something down on the ground it was little you know he fucked underneath the trees it it was the summertime nights was warm and you know and then i just went into the house and see it work and that was it never talked about it again never did it again just let it go it was it was fun it was a lot of fun but it's like don't want to don't want to you know jump in that pool wow i'm i'm headed towards alzheimer's i just i I spent so much time working shut up they bark sorry about that we had a problem with the dogs i had to quick pause the show a second kill them um love them kill them you put muscles on them but you say you had alzheimer's yeah what happened um i just i was you know a lot of the women i messed around because um in my 20s and stuff i uh i worked a lot you know i ran drafting departments and stuff and so i worked a lot Thank you.

um in my 20s and stuff i uh i worked a lot you know i ran drafting departments and stuff and so i worked a lot and um the thing about this different women and all of a sudden it dawned me there's like it's like there's one woman i messed around with i worked with that i totally forgot about oh my god okay what happened oh just you know she was just one of those ones we talked about and yeah we you know like in the basement of the of the place we went down there and um we're chatting and yeah it was one of those we didn't fuck but like we were kissing and i fingered her and stuff like that and um yeah i forgot about that for years now the truth comes out You yeah, I forgot about that for years.

Now the truth comes out. I remember. You see, I was more into, not into, but that's more what happened for me. Right. Where the women I worked with, um, somehow were attracted to me. And most people, the people that I worked with, you know, they always assumed that it's like, you know, that if I, if I didn't talk about it. Right. But there was never any inclination because they looked at me and like, oh, who the hell would touch him? You know, so I could be friendly with a beautiful woman at work, which I was numerous times, but no one would ever think.

It's like that woman could have any guy she wants. Why would she mess around with Vince? Right. You know, so. I guess you were disarming enough and, you know, not. I guess. You know, sometimes that goes a long way, you know. Yeah, well, it's like they say, you know, if you want to hide something, hide it in plain sight. Yeah, that's true. You know, and it shows not all women are necessarily attracted to, you know, someone who's drop-dead gorgeous with the perfect body. Right. I mean, I happen to have both of those. Oh, you just happen to have that. Thank goodness, you know, that's very true.

You do, you do. At least in my world. In my funhouse mirror.

so for me it was never like what in my funhouse mirror so for me it was never like wasn't one night stands it was almost that that hidden hidden sex thing like I said the one place I worked there was messing around two women at the same time one knew of the other the other didn't know of the other okay well one did and the other didn't oh that's interesting yeah the boss went to fuck both of them and couldn't and here i was and here you were oh yeah yeah i remember uh once i was in i was in college i was still in my 20s there were two security guards two black guys they were twins and one was super outfowl.

The twins is Basil. I did not have both, but the one was much more outgoing. Or did you? I probably had both. I would have said I had both. At the same time, you didn't, but did you? Oh, that's true. I didn't know. They were identical. I could have had both. I just didn't know it. That's true. I think I only messed around with the one. Yeah, I think it was just a one-time thing. I stayed late to work on a project. That's with air quotes. I work on a project. And, of course, he was doing this round. The project was him. Yeah, the project was him. And I forget where we went.

I think we went into like an unused office or something. We fucked on the floor or something like that. It's like it was kind of interesting. So I'm not your first. Yes, of course you're my first. The thing is they both had very similar names. I think I can probably say it now because who would know? It was Harold and Howard. They were twins twins and they're both security guards at the same well you gotta figure they're older than you uh oh yeah okay yeah so what you say 10 years older than you um no they were probably well maybe eight years older these guys are pushing 70 at this point.

Yeah, yeah. And who would know? That was a long time ago. A long, long time ago. God willing, they're both still alive. At least one of them is smiling. I don't know if he ever thinks about that. It was more of a, not that one-night stand. They were like little sexual trysts. Well, we're counting those. Because, like I said, I didn't have. They're just a one-time thing. I didn't have the hotel room one-night stands. I had a couple, but yeah.

I had one I brought back to my apartment one time but other than that yeah usually now actually actually the ones are really more spontaneous were a lot more fun than the ones that were far more erotic yeah that spot spot is still to me one of the hottest things in sex there was a again i was i was in college and again i was late and my mom was supposed to come and pick me up because i'd miss i work so i was working on a project so late that i missed the bus to get home so i've missed the bus about so much so much and uh there was a loft up in the up and i had a blanket up there and i there was a guy i've been you know kind of friendly with one of the other artists we were up there and fucking and i heard my mom come in so both of us had to get real quiet like shut up my mom's here so that ruins the mood yeah it's like so she left and i quick you know got got dressed and came down and came in through another way and she was like where were you i walked and she said oh yeah i just went outside to grab a cigarette or get some airs what i don't know what i even said to even cover up but it was like but we were up in the law i went outside to grab some cock yeah and you know i was like oh boy that was that was interesting yeah that's cool You know, these old trysts, you know.

A little spontaneous stuff. You know, things, you know. Like I talk about that married woman. Right, right. That, you know, she's using my bathroom. I knew she was attracted to me and stuff, but didn't think anything would ever happen. Right. Using my bathroom after we were all out drinking. Right. She comes out of my bathroom bare-ass naked. I was like, okay. So, what do I do next? Playing Parcheesi? Do you realize you forgot your clothes? Nope, we're going to fuck. Really? Yeah, we are. At this point, yeah. Okay. Yep. You know, I really appreciate it.

You could, you you know what do you think i am a piece of meat you know i appreciate that i think you should tell more people i have a mind here mister now do you know what the biggest compliment is like here's a married woman very attractive she could have fucked anybody she wanted right right and um like i said i only did a fucker that time but she called me Thank you. Very attractive. She could have fucked anybody she wanted. Right, right. And like I said, I only did a fucker that time. But she called me back to come back. It's like, okay, I guess I did a good job. Wow, that's fun.

You know. We tried to do more, but she wound up having marital problems. Really? And then she developed an alcohol problem, and she went away to therapy for a while. Oh, that always ruins it. Thank you.

wound up um having marital problems really and then she developed an alcohol problem and she went away to therapy for a while it always ruins it i drove her to drink probably what are you drinking now by the way oh i'm i'm just drinking water right now i had my rum and coke earlier oh here's one it was more like a little mini affair there was a married guy um he used to take me to dinner and he would buy me little things it was nice it was very very nice but he had this anal fixation and i guess his wife on you or on him on me on me and he always wanted to do things to my butt i was like oh well sure that's probably where my interest in anal came from you know but you didn't have a strong no no when we were together there was a once in a blue moon thing yeah it was once in a blue it wasn't uh you know no it's not like a regular now no now it's a little more regular but he he always had this like interest with um doing things to my my butt like all kinds of uh rubbing and this and that and and toys and whatever i was like i wasn't comfortable with it back then but it was still it was interesting and he always had this thing like um he used to call his wife the burger i don't know why i called it a burger but meister meister burger well he he said that his code name was berg stressor because he didn't want to stress out his wife and he was we were we were cheating we were definitely he was definitely cheating on his wife with me quite a bit okay you know i mean well more than once how old was he and you i was still in my 20s so you were dancing i was dancing yeah i think i i he came to a couple couple clubs you met him when you were dancing or uh yeah i think he was a customer yep yep so yeah he would you know take me shopping and you know take me out to dinner wow yeah not really you know not Thank you.

Yeah. Go for it.

Get all you can for 20 bucks hey 20 bucks back in the back in the day yeah yeah now it's mcdonald's no longer has a dollar menu it's a 20 dollar menu well it took me what was that it was a fancy restaurant oh gosh yeah it doesn't matter yeah you took me to a pretty fancy restaurant once and it was my first time having uh clams on a half shell and i was so disappointed i was thinking steam clams for some reason and it came out raw and i was like oh that's not what i wanted that was a disappointment and then you got your clam yeah pretty much yeah yeah that was kind of interesting and fun. Sure.

Yeah, it was kind of a good time. I guess my fetish must have been fucking in the workplace. I don't know. Yeah, I think yours was. It wasn't really a fetish. It just happened that way? Yeah, mine was either at college. There was, oh, God, fuck, I forgot about this guy. There was a guy I had met and there was actually an abandoned house next to the college. And we fucked in the abandoned house. There you go. Yeah. At night or during the day? It must have been in the afternoon. It must have been in the afternoon.

So still light out yeah yeah because there was no electricity or whatever but they had this abandoned house and we used to go over there at lunchtime and drink and smoke pot and you know whatever you're a delinquent oh totally oh absolutely oh god yeah i married you yeah yeah so wherever the uh wherever there's an abandoned building you could you know you're fucking it yeah i don't know if we put like a blanket down i don't i don't remember the particulars but it was actually pretty clean it was actually a pretty nice house wasn't like abandoned for years no no it was still very was still very, very.

Move inable? Move inable. Yeah. Somebody just been vacant, maybe not abandoned. Maybe just vacant. Either way. And we broke in. Same word. Yeah. I'm sure they tore it down by now, but it was kind of fun. Or someone bought it, moved in. The college bought it and put something else up. Who knows? I haven't been around there in ages, but that was kind of fun.

Because we were uh in one of the classes we had a uh a vacant classroom we weren't fucking it we were we just sat down like on the side and did our homework no we were just talking we're just like you know talking about stuff and all of a sudden this professor came in turned the lights and we're like oh okay time to go and he's like what did i just walk into but we weren't doing anything where at that time we were just talking that was it's like oh see ya nice to see you nice to see a professor we're out of here got out of there quick yep not gonna make it a threesome professor no no we're out but that was like a one-time thing it was like we did it that once and that again.

Yeah. But, I mean, it's so much easier now in a lifestyle having those kind of experiences. Oh, God, yeah. You know, which kind of is one of the erotic things about it. Yeah.

I mean, you can have those kind of sexual trysts without all the bullshit from the regular world, you know don't have to jump through the hoops because you're all there for the same thing hopefully you know what I'm saying basically basically it's not like you have to figure out like okay does this person really like me does he want to have sex with me does he not and lifestyle is like it's pretty much I don't want to use the word guaranteed but it's a safe bet it's a very safe bet well we kind of almost got ghosted again today it was supposed to meet with that one guy who reached out to us we didn't reach out to him so then i reached back out to him and we were setting things up for today and we were chatting last night online and all of a sudden he just disappears yep it's like okay i don't know whatever i'm not playing the game though no no it's fine he's blocked i don't give a fuck yeah i'm done let's sweat off my ass so we'll go in the bedroom after the show and pretend i'm him oh there you go if it's dark enough you can pretend i'm anybody i can do that i pretend you're somebody else there you go i don't blame dark enough, you can pretend I'm anybody.

I can do that. I pretend you're somebody else. There you go. I don't blame you. I don't blame me either. Stop. With your hot husband podcast, smart ass. You like that? Yeah. Took me off guard there for a minute. Yeah, thank you. Well, you know, I and you do so um so you never had any more one night stands just the ones you told me about i'm sure if i thought hard enough i could come up with some more in all honesty um in my my 20s it was such a uh flurry of continuous drunken nights um you could have been having one night stands, you just don't remember.

Well, I know I made out with some girls in the bar, but by the end of the night, I was probably so drunk that... Nothing would have worked anyway. I walked home more nights from that bar than...

mean i got to the point where i knew i was getting so drunk i would wouldn't even drive to the bar i mean it was it was three blocks away oh yeah you don't need to drive just walk yeah so you know like i said the one night i was walking home and i had to pee so bad and i'm standing on the edge of the deck on the curb peeing into the street and a cop car drove right by me i'm sitting with my dick hanging outeing he's i'm like i guess my dick's that small he couldn't tell all right we're good he's like what is that guy just standing on the street for he's probably just like i really don't want to write somebody up for having their dick out peeing i got better things to do oh my god yeah really it's like he's not hurting anybody especially with that thing no no i you know i i again i i might have had more than um that i can remember you know i remember a bunch of fights um that i didn't start i thought you were a lover not a fighter.

I am. But the thing is like I talked about I told you prior many times that I'd be in there and there'd be a couple fighting or something like that.

The guy would hit the girl and I'd grab the guy and I'd bounce him out of the bar for him or two guys would get into a fight and I would grab both of them and bounce them the fuck out i mean yeah it helped me drink a lot more for free yeah i bet it doesn't help and the thing was i was one of these guys who i i just sat in the back of the bar you know sat at a table and played darts and kept to myself but when shit went down i would just you know it's like we don't need this shit god it's like road house you know yeah yeah i mean seriously i mean it was you know i'm not anybody's hero i'm just saying but it was like you know they knew if something went down like if something started going down you get to see people at the bar were like oh like turn and look down at me, I look for the Vince symbol.

Right. The light goes in the sky with the big V. It's like, oh, I guess I'm needed. And I just would go take care of it, you know, open the door with the guy's head. Not good. Yeah, it is what it was. I just thought of one more sexual tryst. It's with a girl this time. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I have none with a guy, so we're okay. Okay, so we're good. If I do, I'm glad I don't remember it. Right. I was with my best friend who was just coming out of the closet and being gay, bi, whatever. He wasn't quite sure.

one of the cooks expressed an interest in him so they were still experimenting like with their homosexuality bi curious whatever was going on there but there was a girl there she was a waitress she was definitely bi and she had another girlfriend but you know she messed around with me But we were going to a gay bar, because that's the only bar I could get into, because I didn't, I wasn't, I wasn't 21. I was only 18. And you looked really young. And I looked really young. Even if you were 21 or older, you didn't look at it.

The only ID I had, because I wasn't, I didn't even have a driver's license. It was your elementary school ID. That was my college ID college id but anyway the gay bars would let us in it was they're really lax it was new jersey they didn't care but all we had to go to this was jersey at one point was it was 18 sure so i i got in i was fine but you know all we had was this tiny pickup truck there's enough room for the guys to be in the front but me and the girl had to sit in the back. And it was chilly. I think it was like September or October. It was chilly out.

So we're in the back of this pickup truck. You couldn't do it today. We're in the back. Oh, you can't do it now. We're in the back of the pickup truck. We have a blanket on us. And we're making out. The cars would, you know, we'd stop at a stop sign. There'd be, you know, a guy watching us, and we'd start, like, just showing off, like, making out and doing all kinds of stuff just to freak them out, you know, just to see what would happen. But, I mean, that was fun.

But the thing is, with her, I had an old boyfriend, and he did a photo shoot with her and myself, like all of us, like having sex and like, you know, doing all the girl-girl thing and sucking her nipples and, you know, just Tell me slower. Well, then I hear about it. Oh, yeah. I think I saw those pictures upstairs, too. Really? Oh, yeah. I'm sure that I, I, I'm almost positive I still have them. Never seen them. Oh, I'll have to dig them out for you sometime. Sure. I'll show them to you. But, yeah, that was fun. Again, it didn't last very long. It was just a couple. The story of my sex life.

Yeah, it wasn't like a long term. Didn't last very long. It didn't last very long at all. It wasn't like I had a threesome with my then-boyfriend and her or anything else. It was just, he took pictures of us messing around, and that was it. Wow. Okay. Yeah, so that's about all my one-night stands I can think of. I'm sure if I hunted around, there's probably a lot more. Well, again, if you're a listener and you have an erotic one-night stand story, send it to us. Yeah. Tell us about it. I'd like to hear what other people are doing just besides you and I. Or what you have done.

Yeah, what you have done, sure. Send it to hotwifepodcasts at gmail.com. Love to hear about it. We won't use your real name. No. We will give out your address. No, I'm kidding. Oh, God. Intersectional security number. Oh, God, stop it. Routing number, bank account. Oh, no, we would not do that. Well well if they send that shit to us and shame on that yes you would so but no um yeah that was you know i could make a little bit of a contest you send us a sexy story well it sends a spunk loop well send us a spunk loop got some. Jeff's been very, very generous to us. Great company.

And again, if you are interested in getting, if you use lube, you know, and we recommend you use spunk lube. It's a great product. It's all we use. Not just because Jeff gives it to us. We were buying it when he wasn't a sponsor. Yeah, we really were. It's a great product. Go either to our website, which is hotwifepodcast.com, and click on the banner, and you will automatically, it'll apply a 10% discount to your order.

Or just go to thespunklube.com, buy your products at the end, and the discount code, put hotwife, all one word, into the box, and box and it'll apply 10 discount to your complete order that's kind of nice i mean 10 is 10 hey you know take that all day long well yeah so um you know it's jeff's way of appreciating people who listen to our show um gotta love them so yeah i I mean, you know, um we have a party coming up in a few weeks yeah i have to come up with something that's kind of pseudo christmasy for it it is a christmas party maybe i'll just put some mistletoe on a belt just Just wear that.

Over your crotch? Yeah. Get mistletoe. A belt buckle. A temporary tattoo on your belly button. Oh, there you go. I could have a mistletoe belly ring. That would be kind of cool. Yeah. I bet you if we go on Amazon right now, we could find that. I'm sure we could. Let me see. You're going to do that. I put my glasses on so I can see. Yeah, I've seen them. If there is such an animal. I'm sure there is. Well, let's find out. What do you think about that? Let's see. Mistletoe, either belt or. Okay, mistletoe is spelled M-I-S-T. I think it's mistel. T. Yeah. L-E-T-O-E.

Yep, and I would say belly ring. Yeah, let's try belly ring. Or navel ring, or belt. Mistletoe belly button ring. Oh, there you go. Boom. They have holly. Oh, so that's pretty nice. This is woman's red bow mistletoe belly button ring, $3.99. Oh, can we afford that? I'm going to see if they have a payment plan. See, whatever you want, you can definitely find a line. They have holly here next to it, and they're calling that mistletoe. Holly's different. I'm just wondering if it would get called on anything because mistlet know, mistletoe is with the little leaves and the berries.

It's not that big, Jesus. It's not like real mistletoe. It's a... I know, but I don't... Well, we'll see. We'll see. I just don't want to get caught on everything. Belly rings get caught on things. It is ordered. Well, let me take a look at it first. It's already ordered. Too late, Donna. Yeah. Too late. He's already ordered it for you. Let's just say, you tell guys, well, hey, you know, you're near the mistletoe. You got to kiss me. You got to kiss it. You got to kiss under the mistletoe, and they get to kiss your crotch. Do you think they're going to go, you could be poison ivy thieves.

Fuck yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, sure. That's hysterical. Oh, it looks like red oak.

Yeah, I'll kiss your pussy yeah it's poison oak but uh god you're just so wrong i mean come on seriously the same as if some guy had like mistletoe on his taped you know a belt or about on his belt yeah like you know like would you critique whether it really was mistletoe or not or would you just kiss his cock yeah i mean it could be a fucking spider plant okay yeah kiss your cock a spider plant yeah it's similar it's not really mistletoe but i'll do it in the faith of the holiday that's not kissing oh it's the way I kiss. English ivy. Yeah, whatever. As long as it's not poison ivy. All right.

So this is saying expected December 5th. Party's the 8th, so we're good. Yeah, well, we'll see. I just hope it fits. Hope it fits. It's a belly button ring. All right. Okay. Thank you all for listening. Oh. And again, we will be talking to you soon. All right, everybody. Have a great night. Thank you. I'll see you next time.