Masturbation as we Mature!

Transcript

this program contains strong sexual content no one under the age of 18 is permitted to listen to or download the podcast in any manner the host guest and performers are all over the age of 18 rebroadcasting this podcast in any manner is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the owners of the hot wife podcast the commentary of this program is the sole opinion of its host or guest and does not reflect that of the opinion of the hot wife podcast owners agents or representatives this podcast is not meant to be taken as professional advice hi this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast where we discuss all the good, the bad, and the really erotic of the swinger lifestyle.

Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast. And I'm here once again with my wonderful husband, Vince. Hello. Oh, wait, no smart-ass remark? No, that's right. Oh, man, you're losing it. Losing it. You always have something smart-ass. Come on. I lost it years ago. Nothing new. Nothing new. Yeah, it seems kind of weird. We had so many podcasts with other people that it's just you and I tonight. I feel like it's a naked. We had a few more recently that were just you and I. That's fine. You know, going old school. Is that what this is? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Do some setting things. Okay, you do some setting things there. Yeah, it's definitely not right there. There we go. That's better. That sounds a little nicer. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, my microphone wasn't cranked up as much as the rest of you. I see. But, yeah, so it's summertime. It surely is. It's so muggy and sticky and, well, thank God we have a pole. That's the only saving grace. Yeah, and as people heard in the last podcast, we kind of had some fun this weekend. We sure did. Yeah, it didn't. It was such a rainy day. Swinger pool party.

Yeah, but it was like a rainy, dreary day, but the rain had stopped and Mickey was the one who was like, yeah, let's go down to the pool. And we're like, really? I don't know. It's still kind of, you know. But it turned out. It's raining. Oh, what are we going to do? Get in the pool and get wet? Oh, no, we can't do that. But I like the air to be warmer when I'm swimming. It really wasn't bad, though. I was surprised. I thought, oh, it's going to be cold and the water's going to be nasty. And you had your playmate's dick up between your legs. I was rubbing up against him in the pool water, yep.

Yeah, he had a protoscope up. Just a little bit. I suppose it was enough. Yeah, it was fine. It was all good, all good. Yeah, the smile on your face made me think you were hating life. I was not hating life at all. That's okay, that's good. So, but yeah, and it's, you know, again, people on vacation and hoping everyone's enjoying their summer. Yeah. You know, I think one of the downsides is that kids are home. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're always home, but I mean, our kids from college and stuff like that, all of a sudden, I think when summer comes, you don't get the privacy. No.

I don't know if summer is really relaxing between the heat and then your kids are there. And if you go on vacation, don't get me wrong, I love my kids and everything else. Vacation was, yeah. It's just like, for a parent, is vacation actually relaxing? No. We're going to spend all sorts of fucking money. You know, the kids, when they're younger, want you to buy them everything. You have to eat out all your meals, generally. And that's a ton of fucking money, especially in today's world. It's just like, wait, you know how much I had to work to make that money? And now it's like, poof.

It's gone. Damn. It's gone. And again, if you rent a house, let's say down the shore. That's expensive. We're so we're talking to the Jersey Shore or something like that, and you're renting a place, the walls are paper thin. It's not like you and the wife can enjoy your... And they're expensive, those houses. Well, I'm not even talking about... Let's forget the financial part. You know, you want to...

Slap nasties slap nasties bump uglies and shit and you can't you can do it but you gotta be real quiet and then you gotta hope the bed doesn't squeak oh you know it doesn't break uh that's even worse i never had that happen thank god yeah did you ever have a bed break on you when you're doing it uh it didn't break i had one of the slats that supported the box work its way out so that the head of the mattress like dropped down it was a kind of a kind of ended that yeah kind of took the steam out of it that kind of that kind of sucks. You know, there's worse things.

Yeah, I never, I don't think I had anything to do. Getting that old, what are you two doing in that car? Yeah. Sorry, officer, we were just talking. We were talking with my pants down in her mouth. She was talking to my penis. She's obviously blind, and my dick is braille. Yeah, yeah. She's reading that I'm horny. She's reading a story to my dick. I started to deflate. She was blowing me back up. Yeah, there we go. Oh, my God. I have a medical condition that if my dick ever goes dry, I could die. We don't want that. So, officer, it's either her or you. All right, miss, get out of the car.

Whoa, whoa. My penis has to stay wet all the time. It's just a medical condition called, you know, dry cock. Dry cockologist. That's why you keep handing me boxes of wet wipes. Wet wipes. But just tell you, but it's like, no, that's not what I meant. Keep it wet. Keep it wet. You bought a super soaker. Oh, that would be fun. It's like, okay, I want you to dry out there. Fucking, and you wear your Greenpeace shirt. Okay, you fat shit. Until I roll you back in the ocean. Oh, my God. So, anyway, I thought an interesting conversation for tonight is masturbation. Oh, we all do it. Okay.

And again, there's a lot. Do we? What's that? Do we all do it? Well, here's the interesting thing. Okay. Again, I'm a kid of the 80s. You know, I graduated high school in 84. Right. And back in high school and stuff, you know, you didn't admit you masturbated. Oh, no. It was taboo. Oh, no. Oh, no. Do you masturbate? Nope. Nope. That's disgusting. No, not me. Not me.

And me and the trick was like as soon as you leave the room i'm going in there and masturbating yeah you know it's like you know back in the day you got the sears christmas catalog as a guy went right to like the bra and pain yeah baby oh look at that lace i don't know if there is a gnome or what there there is, but I myself, and I know plenty of other guys, we would always find dirty magazines in the woods. There's something like you'd always find, like you'd be playing in the woods as a kid or whatever, and you'd stumble across like a box or something, and there'd be like dirty magazines.

Now, I don't know if someone else got them someplace, and they would store them in the woods to get them so they wouldn't get caught. Or maybe they were just trying to get rid of them and didn't put them. Yeah, I don't know, but, I mean, I know more guys that found dirty magazines in the woods or, like, oh, in an old abandoned car someplace. Or abandoned.

I think I remember finding an old magazine, kind of a dirty one, in, house yeah but somebody probably went there to jerk off and then left it there because he couldn't didn't want to take it back or i don't know and again you know as a kid you just like oh fuck yeah man this is like gold you didn't stop to think it's like these pages are probably coated in some of this why are these pages all stuck together? It was in the rain. It was in the rain. Sure it was. Now I feel disgusting. Now it's like, I don't think I'd even touch it. I have to really go shower with a bro up head now. Yeah.

But no, you didn't dare. No, uh-uh. And I don't know. I think it was like mid-20s. It was like, without realizing there was like this little... Thank you.

dare no uh-uh you know like and i don't know i i think it was like mid-20s just like without realizing there was like this little yeah it's like it's my man when i was jerking off the other night it's like wait now people brag about how much they jerk off yeah at 57 it's like man i wanted to jerk off the other night so bad i was so horny but it's like it took too much energy I was tired I was gonna rub one out but I said I'd rather watch tv I'll jerk off in my sleep when I when I'm that well I'll dream of jerking it off I need my rest you have your priorities I like to think so when I mean did girls I mean i wasn't privy to the aspect did girls ever admit back then to master no no no i don't think we even we never talked about playing with ourselves or masturbate no that was no that was did it happen i'm sure i'm trying to remember like when the first time I actually like touched myself.

I wouldn't even say masturbated. I would just say touched myself. In a sexual way. Or even non-sexual. It was like, no, you didn't touch that. That was, that's not to be touched. Doctors, you know, would examine you. Your no-no button. Your no-no button, yeah. My naughty bits. Lady parts, whatever they're calling them these days. Whatever. I call them delicious. Delicious. I'm trying to think, like, when the first time I even, like, touched myself. Even sexual or unsexual, it was... Now, when you started your first time or whatever, if you can remember, did you achieve an orgasm? Oh, fuck no.

Okay. Oh, God. It probably was awkward and terrible and probably uncomfortable, maybe even painful. It probably didn't even feel good because it's like you're using something that – I don't even know how old I was. I don't even remember.

Yeah, I think – I was at a boyfriend, so I didn't masturbateate i might have been 14 or 15 when i masturbated for the first time and i didn't know what to expect you know back then i mean i'm gonna go 14 um i used to think that you know because no one ever really gave me the pep talk the pep talk so i actually thought that like you pissed inside of a girl to get her pregnant It's close It's close Different but it's close So I remember the first time I was masturbating That I achieved orgasm Like when it happened Oh you were scared huh I was like what the fuck is this And it was like Afterwards I sat there like Was that good or bad I could not tell It's like Thank you.

And it was like, afterwards, I sat there like, was that good or bad? I could not tell. It's like, wow. And again, it was like, there was just so much going on. There was like the smell of a mess. There was like, it's like how your body reacts. You're like, did I do something I shouldn't do? Am I sick? Am I going to die? Did I hurt myself? Do I need to see a doctor or tell my mom I was stroking my cock mom and all of a sudden my body shuddered and stuff just shot out my cock. I don't know what that is. It wasn't piss mom. Luckily I did not have that conversation. Good thing.

It would be nice if they would have given you a little heads up. That's a difficult one. Wow. That was a high note. Wow. Jesus Christ. Well, wait a minute. You have an older stepbrother. You think he was in – No. Again, he was in California. Yeah. You guys didn't have it? We weren't close. No. No. I had no – You had to find it out on your own, huh? Yeah. That kind of sucks. Yeah. Well,. Yeah, well, yeah. That's a rocky road. Yeah. Yeah, it was like weird. So didn't they do the, like we had in sixth grade, we had the whole, they. We had the videotape. The videotape.

It was not videotape, it was a film strip. The film strip. And then they would cover up all the windows in the doors, like in the classroom, so the boys couldn't see in because they were talking about, you know, we were talking about, you know, the menstruation and yada. We did it in the cafeteria. Oh, that's awful. Well, they had the bigger tables. They could put all the guys in there. Yeah, okay. And there was only one door that came. Okay. One door had like a hallway. Right, right. And the other one was, so there wasn't that much window to cover up. Okay, I guess that makes sense.

have to have like a permission oh yes you did yes of course nowadays i know they don't care they're gonna show it don't tell your parents we're gonna cut your cock off yeah it's a different story different show um but yeah we had to have permission slips and i my mother never told us about periods or anything. So she's not going to tell us about masturbation. Again, I have two daughters, as you know. Yeah. Um, I never had that discussion with them. Now I can't say my ex-wife didn't. Oh yeah. She, she, I know she, she did. Yeah.

Now we had an experience of my oldest that we determined that she had some knowledge yeah yes that's a yeah I did remember having like I would take the opportunity when I saw like commercials about kids being abducted and being raped and stuff I'm like you gotta be safe because people will hurt you in ways you can't understand yet and they'd be like well how i'm like you're older i will explain more so i i left you know i left that open for a discussion down the road so and i have a younger sister so the whole thing about our bodies was just like nonchalant two younger sisters but i'm at the youngest youngest one she was just you know a toddler when i was in you know yeah when i was 11 years different so i was 11 she was just born so by the time i went to college she was what 10 12 yeah you know so i was like yeah this all right this is the scoop you know this is what's going to happen it's not going to be pleasant.

You're not going to like it. It may be painful. I did not sugarcoat anything. This is what the period is. But you will learn to love penis. You will learn to love penis. I can't say whether that worked or not. I don't know. Well, she has three kids. doesn't hate penis but she's with the same guy oh did she date a lot of guys there's a few guys yeah a few guys yeah because she's been with her husband now 30 years 30 years that's longer than you and i've been together well we met later in life yeah We both were pretty slutty growing up. Okay, it was just me. It was just me that was slutty.

I was going to say, your sister was slutty or just you and me? Or what are you talking about? I meant you and me. Okay, yeah, no, that's fine. I'm good with that. I didn't turn slutty until I was in my 20s. There's nothing wrong with that. It's actually a good age to be slutty.

No, I had to develop my personality You can't do it when you're too young I don't get women on my looks Even now I get like Like Angelina It's like oh you're like a big brother to me It's like no no that's not what I want How about your big brother's best friend You know Because you might fuck him Do you really want to sign that waiver And be beat to shit No, I don't punch you they might stomp on your head but Stomp on your head, but. I kind of like that. Depends what kind of heel she's wearing. No, thanks. But anyway. No, but I mean, even that, you know, I like to way hard to get.

I'm just saying, you can't have me. Yeah, there you go. There's not even a thing. Oh, it's a big, cuddly bear. Like my brother. It's like, oh, that's so strong. Like my brother. I'm not not having brotherly thoughts. Okay.

You know, but anyway, um, so yeah, masturbation and you, you know, it's, um, now I guess it's different cause you got married later in life, but like I got married at 30 and then with kids, when, when your wife, and this is not true in every case i'm sure of it but i'm going by my experience i like to show uh intro says this is not medical advice hell no only our opinion okay and if you listen to it shame on you um but um like during like when my wife was pregnant, there was times, and especially after the baby, man, you, you rely heavy on masturbation because you're getting treated like shit.

Oh. Yeah. She's in pain. I get it. Hey, you know, you just got, you know, you just passed a fucking. Bowling ball through your snatch. Yeah. That's what you did. Yeah. Did you have an episiotomy or anything? I had nothing. I meant your ex. Yeah. Yeah. She ripped a little bit. Yeah. They had to cut her, actually. Yeah. My sister had a fourth degree episiotomy with her baby. He came out like he was like 12 pounds. I'm a third degree black belt. I'm a fourth degree episiotomy.

You baby he came out like he was like 12 pounds i'm a third degree black belt i'm a fourth degree you gotta be yeah she she didn't walk right literally did not walk right for about a year yeah because the baby was literally oh yeah when you said 12 pounds he wasn't 12 pounds he was 10 pounds 11 ounces at that point doesn't matter yeah exactly it's just It's's like put your arms down to your side you know it was like and my mom like you don't the kid doesn't need to push the thing open okay put your hands on your side just scoot the fuck out scoot out i know you're up you should be upside down and my mom was the one who told her it's like oh you got to have a natural birth she said if i would have known you're gonna pass a fucking twoyear-old i would have told you to have a c-section you know the baby came out with you know you had to wear two-year-old clothes because they're so big jesus christ yeah and somebody's oh my god yeah it's a whole nother show but anyway um yeah no it's um again i catch myself all the time ever since you said something about the whole yeah no thing but a lot of people say Yeah, it's, yeah, no, it's, um, again, I catch myself all the time, ever since you said something about the whole, yeah, no thing, but a lot of people say, yeah, it's, it's yeah, common now.

It's like, yeah, common now. But yeah, no, I think it's funny. Yeah. It's a, I don't know. Maybe it's a Pennsylvania thing. I don't know. But, um, um, but, uh, yeah, no, doing that again. I'm sorry. It's one of my things. I'm sorry.

The, uh, no the uh night because you're not getting attention right you're putting up with a lot of shit and you got to relieve some tension right you know the wife doesn't feel good necessarily about herself maybe a few extra baby pounds or whatever and you weren't gonna you weren't getting it right so it's like thank god for the internet i think the internet has been the biggest evolution for masturbation. Oh, my God. Yeah. Anything you want to see, any time you want to see, you can find it. Anything. Yeah.

I mean, you know, before the internet, you either had to have a VHS tape or whatever, some magazines, or a very good imagination, you know, for masturbation. masturbation right if you wanted the real thing you would just cheat it yeah we don't condone that um nope but you know what one of the greatest aids nowadays for masturbation is what's that spunk lube of course it is yes absolutely a lubricant for masturbation is a must you know You go to SpunkLube. Of course it is. Yes, absolutely. A lubricant for masturbation is a must. You go to spunklube.com and order some. You will not be sorry.

It is non-sticky. Non-sticky. Water-soluble. Yeah. No odor. No odor. No one's going to know. Yeah. You're not going to walk by someone and they're going to go, I smell Spunk Lube. They're not going to say that. Are you jerking off? No. Say, no, spunk lube doesn't have a smell. Well, when I, like you said, you used like some kind of a stimuli. Well, you have to have some, you can't just be turned on and jerk off. You're going to have to have either mental game going. Okay, yeah. Or a visual. Right. You can't masturbate without having a mental stimulation.

Right, some kind of stimulation of which even if you're watching a video read looking at pictures or whatever that's a it's still a mental stimulation i agree because you're like picturing this girl you know it's sort of i'm sure kate beckinsale probably looks at pictures of me i'm sure she does uh you have to send her some more too she just said hey and, hey, and I got these all spudged up. I blocked her. She's still trying. She's still trying. I'll try to smooth it over. I just heard Sofia Vigara just got divorced from her husband of seven years. Okay.

Rumor has it she's making a play for me. Oh, there you go. 100%. It could happen. It could happen. It could. I know. It'd be fine. You know. She might have heard this podcast. Oh, yeah. Some people think... I've heard a few comments from some listeners that they're going to send a good word. They like my voice. So, you know, Sophia Vigar could be like, I can't imitate her, so I can't do it. But yeah, she could be like, oh, I got to have him. Hey, I understand that. And you'd be saying, you can have him. I would be saying that. You touched him last. He's yours. And I'm done.

But back to masturbation. Masturbation. Back to masturbation. Yeah, I'm jerking the show off right now. But you You know, I don't think I ever used my fingers. It never did anything for me. Okay, well, that was going to be one of the ways you're going to go. It was like, okay, when you masturbate, what is your preferred method of masturbation? And what goes on if Donna is going to masturbate, which you don't do?

I don don't need to although it is fun to try out new toys well okay yeah you'll do it obviously you do it for the show and stuff like that but i don't need to yeah you don't need to i have a husband i have i have playing this my pussy is still sore from yesterday wow yay woohoo yeah that's a badge of honor i got fucked three times yeah whatever it was yeah it's like okay you got it more in one day than a lot of guys get it in like six months yeah it's true so just it was just just the way it was but um i think i really started masturbating when i became a dancer because there was more stimuli.

There was a lot of good-looking people and all kinds of very erotic situations. You could say it whenever I was in a dance. Whenever you were there, yes, that's what it was. That's right. Good answer. I like the shower head. That was your preferred method of masturbation? Yeah. For a long time, it was. Shower massage? The shower. Put that thing right on my clit. I'd come in like three seconds. Did you have to have a mental game or just pure stimulation? Oh, I came. I'm done. Yep, that's pretty much it. I think I've got to clean the shower tomorrow. Never mind. It was just.

Warm water, cold water? Oh, warm water. Probably hot.

Not hot not hot but really warm as warm as you can that's why i like the whole what you do with the coffee in your mouth lick job so we have to do a coffee show yeah i think we do too because that that would i could come in like three seconds i mean it was just but having really strong pulse like the water pressure we have here not so much yeah well water i know it's kind of disappointing yeah it's like oh maybe i want to masturbate it might be kind of fun just to get you know because sometimes it gets you more riled up and you know it's just nice to okay so you know okay outside the shower your next do you you prefer a toy or your finger oh my toys okay fingers.

Okay. Fingers, they don't vibrate. No, where am I? I'm doing the interview here. Okay, sorry. So is it a toy just on the outside, on the inside, or both? Both. You start on the outside, and then you do the inside, and then you're like, ah, it's not this nice. Maybe the sensation isn't there, so you then go back to the outside. Or sometimes you have one on the inside and one on the clit. So there you go. And one sometimes and one in the ass. Yes, that is true too. But I didn't start experimenting with the anal so much later in life. So I was in my, I did a little bit here and there.

That was three months ago. I was in my 40s. That was my 40s. You used to love your vibrating anal beads.

Yeah, I miss them i miss them you burned them out you know they just don't make them like they used to it's just it's sad i like them they're just not i have cheap imitations but it's not the same it's just not the same it's like that the itachi that we bought we bought a knockoff brand it's not the same it's okay a 30 dollar one versus the hundred dollar one well you know you give me a thumbs up i'll order you the hundred dollar yeah we'll wait okay not like i do it all that often and okay well but you might with that one what's that i don't know if you would with that one that one is so strong i mean okay i don't need i don't need that but it'd be fun here's my next question for What's that?

In the masturbation thing, would you rather, when you're masturbating, now, when I masturbate, I come a lot faster than I do if I'm playing with a person. Oh, yeah, I do too. Okay.

So is it more, is it upsetting when you come faster that way no you know what it is it's very selfish you don't have to worry about anybody else it's just you and is it as satisfying not necessarily but it it it definitely gets the job done okay so i'm gonna take myself out of the equation here okay so if you had the choice and i don't need a name pick pick one of your playmates that is good at eating pussy oh okay so if you had to pick between them and masturbate or or or masturbating with your favorite toy or toys i'm going with the playmate okay Just going to eat your pussy.

Oh, just eat my pussy. Oh, yeah, that's good. Okay. No wrong answer. No, no. Because there's some of these women that I've played with, and it's like, no, you can't just eat my pussy and make me cum 20 times. I need to be fucked. Yeah, some people do need the insertion. I don't. I don't need it.

I mean some there are some days i i would like it or it would heighten the experience for me but it's not necessary it's it's just a cherry on the top sure which is and it depends on my mood like there is ice cream is good it doesn't have to have whipped cream it doesn't have that whipped cream yeah and it's yeah but still it's still really really good i don't it depends on my mood it depends on sometimes i climax so quickly like that i don't have time to tell you hey stick a finger in or whatever i or penetration i don't have time i'm already right there i'm already ready to come so it's like oh oh well my body's saying it wants to do it now so and that's fine it It is what it is.

It felt good. There's no wrong answer. It's not like one's better than the other. It's just. Well, and again, today versus yesterday versus tomorrow are all something different. Yep. Just getting some general things. Yeah. And again, these are things. We'd love to hear your input. If you want to share your stories and your thoughts on this, email us at hotwifepodcast at gmail.com. I'd like to hear what other people do. If you send us a story or something that is very intriguing, we will send you some Spunk Lube. That'll be nice. You're going.

So you're going to email us at hotwifepodcast at gmail.com. All right. But, um, yeah. Um, so how, I mean, yeah, you don't really get the urge to masturbate anymore. Well, probably when I was younger, I did. Well, okay. Wait, hang on. Yeah. When you were younger, I was younger. Cause your hormones are flaring. Yeah, exactly. Now it's just my anger. Um, I don't just be goofing off. But, yeah, it's very titillating. It's very, you know, I don't need to go all the way. I sometimes like to save things for later. Yeah. When are you going to take me off the shelf? Put me in, Coach. I'll put you in.

Yeah. But, yeah, watching the videos, it's very erotic for me. Sure. Yeah, it's very cool, especially if you know that I know that I'm really having a good time, and I know that the emotions that I'm seeing on the video are real, you know, and it's like, oh, yeah, I remember that. Oh, God, that was so hot. Or when he did this, that was hot. Or, you know, like the gentleman in the pool, not this time, but on the raft, it made me come eating my pussy on the raft. Oh, I came so many times. It was very hot.

And I'm squirming and, you know, and I'm trying to squelch it because I didn't want to scream so the neighbors were to hear. Yeah, fuck them. Oh, that was good. Joke them if they can't take a breath. Yeah, that was really hot. That was really good. Okay. That was really... Now, you do all these video chats with guys. The fans will reach out to you.

If they go to hotwif hot wife donna lynn.com let me do that slower okay hot wife donna lynn l-y-n-n.com you can see where all donna's videos and outlets are and how to contact her and everything else um and guys will book you know little video chats with you so do you enjoy teasing them while you masturbate oh yeah That's fun seeing them get all lathered yeah yeah watching them masturbate and i use i make sure that i have my spunk lube right there because you know the it's like okay at 11 o'clock we're gonna go and do a video chat and i'm like oh i haven't got a chance to gear it up yet so i definitely have my spunk lube like off and like we do you just it makes with...

It makes everything slide right in. Like we did with you and Angelina, that little... Oh, that little... That moisture adds a little... Sensation to it. Increases sensation, increases the... Sensitivity. Yep, the sensitivity, the strength of it. Like, maybe the conductivity between the vibration on your clit. I don't know. Okay. It worked well.

But, some real handy and sometimes you know i always it's always fun but every once in a while i have like a real orgasm which is really nice it's always that's an extra i'll tell you what someone sends us the best masturbation story whoever it is we have we have one, just one, large Spunk Loob t-shirt. Oh, it's a large. Jeff was, the owner of Spunk Loob, we had the last few shirts he had. He's ordering more. But we got a couple in. One was for me. One was for Donna.

And we have one large shirt left okay that's all we have so if you give us the best masturbation story okay male or female it's gonna be a large t-shirt if you can't fit into a large or if it's too baggy on you or whatever hey you know it doesn't look i'm seeing it i don't it doesn't look that large it's a yeah well it's a large it's what the tag says i can't say anything tag to be lying so we will send you not only some spunk glue but we'll send you a spunk glue shirt yep can't probably can't wear it in public fuck them but you have a t-shirt let me quick uh i'm gonna quick take my headphones off here and grab it.

I forgot, what does it say? Do you remember? Oh, I just, I got spunked. Is that what it says? Yeah, take your, yeah, take your headphones off. I think it said, I got spunked with spunk lube or something like that. Yeah. Hold it up. Oh, Jesus Christ. Those three steps felt like a mile Yeah what does it say Hang on I gotta open it up So it's a black t-shirt And it says I got spunked At spunkloob.com Yeah didn't I say that I was right then I'm sorry dear you're right I wrong as always. No, I didn't say you were wrong. I just said I'm pretty sure I said I got spunked. Yeah, I had spunked with you.

I had spunked with you. I knew it was something like that. We will give this to one of the best masturbation stories. Oh, nice. We get. If you send us a story that is worthy, we'll at least send you some spunk lube all right that sounds like fun send us the best one you get a large spunk lube t-shirt and uh then what we're gonna want is uh some kind of a picture in it and we'll send it to Jeff. Oh, that'd be nice. And maybe we can get you put up on Spunk Lube's website. Oh, wow, that just went up a whole lot, didn't it? Or maybe we could even put you on our site.

We'll make you an icon that people can actually click on the picture of you, and it'll take them to – it'll be a link to go to the Spunk Lube site. Interesting. Yeah. Oh, well, the one with the – the person that has the best story that gets the T-shirt, they don't get any Spunk Lube? No, they get Spunk Lube, too. Okay. Yeah, they get Spunk Lube. Okay. And the T-shirt. Yeah, since we only have one. Okay, I understand. So Jeff's supposedly working on some Spunk Lube stickers. I told him, you know, we're going to go to Exotica in November.

And I said, you know, it would be great if we had Spunk Loops stickers that Donna could wear as pasties over her nipples. And he goes, I never thought of that. That is a great idea. So he's working on getting us some stickers. Nice. So in the future, we'll have some stickers that you can do what you want with them. Put them in your car. Put them in your neighbor's car. Put them in your neighbor's car. Press them off.

car piss them off you know i only do anal when i use spunk lube no it's great for anal yeah i guess um i know i know if i do any kind of anal like for me i you always you guys you always hear stories about you know like, I use hand lotion. I've never actually used a lubricant of any sort when I masturbated. Really? Never needed to. I don't know why. When I see all the references to a guy with some Juergens and, you know. You're like, I never did that. It's like, what the heck? You brought the 40 grit sandpaper. I don't know. I use sandpaper. I don't get it. I don't know.

It just, it's like, I'd be afraid to just slip off It wouldn't get traction Well sometimes you need that friction Like I've been with Playmates I don't choke it like I'm trying to get a death grip You little motherfucker Maybe I should I've been with Playmates There was like too much Either natural lubricant or lubricant we had used, and they're like, can you wipe some of that off? I need more friction. So that's what it could be. Sure. You just need more friction to get the sensation you need. Backing up to the story, like you don't admit in high school. Oh, yeah. You jerk off and stuff.

Right, right. So, you know, which is fine. I have no problem with that. Not like one of those things I really thought I needed to share. No. Or now. Yeah.

um but you know which is fine i have no problem with that not like one of those things i really felt i needed to share no or now um but you know so now but i'm in a world now where you know you're hanging out with people and everything else and then next thing you know i'm videotaping i'm playing around with you and then next thing i know during that session they're like they're stroking their dick and stuff i was like you know we're like pre before the shoot pre-gaming Yeah, pre-game, and I'm like, I really don't need to see you jerk off. I'm trying to pre-game.

I'm going, I really don't need to see you jerk off. I'm trying to pre-game. I'm going to look over here. Nice technique you have there. These are some lovely pictures you have on the wall. It's like, and now you're like, yeah. They're yours. They're ones you've taken. Oh, don't they look familiar? You glance down at their cock. Nice cock. We're getting ready to shoot. Is he done stroking? I really don't want to watch you jerk off. I really don't they look familiar? He'd glance down at their cock. Nice cock. We're getting ready to shoot. Is he done stroking?

I really don't want to watch him jerk off. I really don't need to see that. Like we had that one guy. Oh, yeah. That you played with for like over a year. He was a great guy. And he just like something went. Cuckoo. He went complete cuckoo. He went cuckoo. And Donna was upstairs changing. We were in the pool. Yeah. I think I was getting my dry clothes or something. I'm down on the one deck or something like that here. And he's just sitting there We were in the pool. Yeah. I think I was getting my dry clothes or something. I'm down on the one deck or something like that here.

And he's just sitting there jerking the fuck off. And I'm like, you okay? He's like, oh, yeah. I just feel so good. It's like, I'd really rather you not jerk off while it's just you and I here. Yeah, seriously. It's really not comfortable for me. Yeah. Why? It's like, because I have my back to you. So you're looking at my ass, faggot, jerking off. Sorry, if you're gay, I'm sorry. It was inappropriate. It's not making me comfortable, really. It's inappropriate. It's not my bag, you know? I wouldn't do that. God bless you with that, you know, but go home.

You know, so he's, anyway, yeah, it wasn't good. Yeah, that was weird weird that was his last visit yeah that was just really weird yeah it was a lot of wrong things a lot of wrong things going on that day but the jerking off part was that was disturbing that was disturbing if you were there kissing him or whatever yeah and then he starts jerking off okay I get it okay I understand right but I'm not there so what is that but you are so what does that tell you I don't know.

I don'm not there but you are he knows I'm 110% straight and he knows he pisses me off I beat him to death but anyway let's move on to happier topics why can't we have some of these women like Mickey and stuff just come over and masturbate while I'm cooking dinner? See, you would like that. It's different. How is that different? You're bisexual. Would you be more comfortable with a man jerking off or a woman masturbating? A woman masturbating would have to be a little more comfortable for you? See, we have that in common.

See, that's what I'm saying a man jerker I'm not comfortable I mean it wouldn't bother me either way but I think it's wouldn't bother me it's not bother me it wouldn't bother me it wouldn't bother me but it depends on the situation it the... I don't know why people are just hanging out jerking off. I don't know what... Yeah, I don't go down to the cigar shop, get a cigar, a cup of coffee, drop trowel, and jerk off. Maybe I should try it. No. No, I don't... Because then maybe the assholes in the cigar shop wouldn't come talk to me.

That might be a way they will not be talking to you you'll be banned from there you couldn't be going yeah so there's definitely certain places you can jerk off like your bedroom and your privacy or bathroom or shower but not a public bathroom I don't think you't i don't think you should jerk off in a public bathroom just my or a gym bathroom or a gym bathroom yeah see and see women don't do that or at least my experience women can be a little more discreet about it though yeah maybe that's what it is i mean say a woman could sit there say in a steam room okay have a towel wrapped have her hand, like, between the towels.

Right. And be fingering herself. You wouldn't know it. No, no. When guys, you know, you know, it's like, dude, what are you doing? Yeah, it's kind of more obvious. Are you deflating and you're, you know, using the fucking air pump to pump yourself back the fuck up? What are you doing over there? Yeah. Okay, yeah.

generator you know what the yeah it's like well put your finger in your ass you won't really care um i don't know yeah so there yeah there's some things that it should be more private like i use masturbation as a way to also um find like there's more sensations or different sensations I want to explore without having another partner to, you know, be there. You know, maybe I want to try something different, you know. There's differences? Yeah.

I mean, this is, you know, before you and I, but, you know, I would try, before I knew what anal was or did anal, I was like, well, maybe I want to, you know. You just dated a lot of assholes. Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's just... Par for the course. Par for the course. They didn't start out as assholes. They just became assholes. And you married one. Well, yeah, sometimes, you know, you just fuck up too much there. But, no, it's okay.

So I think masturbation gives you a chance to explore yourself more hone your skills that's a good way of putting it homies yeah i'm not masturbating i'm honing my skills i'm staying on top of my game it's like practice it is you know all the football teams they go to camp and baseball team spring camp well i'm in training and it makes sense if you don't know what feels good to you you can't tell your partner what feels good you can't tell them if you're like you know you're masturbating you grab your balls or you this or do that and you know then you're with it with a partner and you know that's what you feel good but they're not doing you can tell them hey grab my balls or do this or lick my balls but if you don't know hang on i can't like i enjoy you liking my balls or any woman like my balls right i never licked my balls no i can't sit there and go what i was jerking off and i licked my balls no but grabbing your balls or you know stroking yourself a certain way yeah i guess but i, I mean, the more you know your body, the more you can convey to somebody else what feels good.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, you're honing your skills. I like that. I'm stealing that. I know there's things you steal. With so many other things. My soul. Yeah. My life. Oh, your life. My willing to give. Wah. I feel suicidal. Don't push the button. Don't push the button. I don't care. I don't care anymore. But now with masturbation, we talked about toys, but now there's like a plethora of toys out there. Especially for's shit that, like, some of the ads that pop up on websites, I'm sitting there like, I saw this one. I'm like, ah, so wrong. Now, they showed it stuck to a window. Okay, I don't.

I think it better off have been, like, stick it to a shower wall. Okay. They stuck it to a fucking window. Okay, what was it? It was like a tube, obviously, but it had like a, it's a cylinder you put your dick in. Right. And it had like little bumps in it that like circ, that circular, that turn circular around it. So you could fuck this thing while it like goes around your dick.

And it's like, I'm sitting there and it's like, yeah guy at his you know fucking the window door window drinking his coffee fucking this fucking thing stuck to the window hi john i don't today come be a warm one yeah when i'm done here i'm gonna cut the lawn hi you and sue what's up hey guys hey later you guys want to get together in a fire pit i might be doing this around three so let's try 3 30 we'll get together what do you think yeah did sue get you one of these she should pop my fucking just be careful this is the second sliding glass door i've had a fucking replay you can carry the fuck away away, Joe.

Let me tell you. Fuck the shit out of this sliding glass door. You're right. I pulled the fucking tile off my shower. The suction cup on this thing. The suction cup and the suction top notch, Sean. Tell me what, Jesus Christ. This sucks almost as good As your fucking 20 year old daughter I mean That's what I know Just saying Oh my god You know It's like I mean Some of these devices Like the penis pump thing It's like I don't understand How did that come about?

I don't know Some guy sit there And look at like His bicycle tire pump And go Hmm That can make my dick bigger Can I combine this With like a turkey baster Ha ha ha I have this turkey baster if i just made it bigger if i put a valve on there instead of blowing air it pulled problem is i kind of have my wife stand on this pump you know the kind of head like the pedal instead of the hand pump yeah well now he might be able to do that himself. I mean, I don't know. How did that come about? I don't know. How do you invent penis toys? Do you sit there and like, okay, what can I do?

On my desk right here, okay, the mess that it is. It's like I got a can of Febreze. Well, that's for afterwards. I have a candle. You have to be a MacGyver of masturbation toys. Mixing board, a keyboard, a video mixer. I like the tube idea. You want to simulate either vagina or a mouth. Like those fleshlight type things, you know. The texture of like rubber or silicone or something that would simulate the inside of a vagina or somebody's ass or mouth. My own personal belief, okay? Me. Okay. I'm not saying obviously for anyone else. All right.

I'd be in, I have a hard, I would have a hard time getting hard to put my dick in some fucking nylon or fucking, it's like, I hated putting condoms on, it's like great, balloon animal time, you know, it's like, all right, let's see what animal I can make with this fucking thing. Oh, a snake. Oh, a snake. Inchworm, all right. Oh, come on, I said snake. Okay, thanks. I didn't say anaconda, but I didn't say snake. Here's $20. Thank you. Inchworm. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's pretty bad when a girl says to you, and it's like, wow, you picked it before I had a chance to grow up. It's like, oh, that hurt.

But no, I personally, I don't know i mean you know women can like the aspect of i get like a woman with things like like you know the stereotypical woman like on the uh washer during spin cycle that vibration yeah okay for a woman i get that i get that i've never done that huh i've never done that i've heard stories about it i haven't either oh there we go even we could like we could know there's something we can do together there's something we can do together no i'll i'll be on the spin so you can eat my pussy while i'm on the water that's fine i'm good with that i don't want to do the dryer dry gets too hot With my nuts straddling the fucking side.

You'll be eating my pussy while I'm on the washer. That's fine. I'm good with that. I don't want to do the dryer. Drawing gets too hot. Me with my nuts straddling the fucking washer. I would just hurt. I might as well use my nuts as a punching bag. No, no. Well, yeah, I guess you would be pretty close. It would be like hitting your... Yeah. Yeah, my balls against the washer. Ouch. Fucking Maytag repairman comes out. It's dense in the fucking washer. It's too dense, real close to each other. What happened here? What the hell is that about? I've seen him on other... Oh, Jesus Christ.

Did you spill laundry detergent on the side here? See, you have a lot of calcium water. It's all crusty. You need to use powdered... You have to use powdered detergent because this liquid detergent you're missing and it's all down the side. It's all down the side. Wait, wait. There's a dent here from, like, a suction cup. Do you have one of those? Never mind. No, you're trying to get the dents out. That's what the suction cup is for. Oh, okay. Yes, that's good. But, yeah, masturbation has evolved, I think, as we get older.

I i can't say i don't know what and i don't care what the youth of today think and do but i almost think the kids today don't care as much about admitting they masturbate i think sexuality is out so much more yes it is out so much more so much more um that uh you know again when we were high school, it's like, oh, you didn't dare. Oh, my God, yeah. Talk about that you masturbated. No, no. Like the running joke was, did you ever get caught masturbating? And they would go, no. And you'd say, well, you must have a good hiding spot. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you never admit it. No, no.

Guys, they were brutalized if anybody found out that masturbated or did something, like, girly. Yeah, but now it's like, you know, I go to the cigar shop or something, somebody walks in, it's like, all right, I need a good cigar. I just rubbed one out half an hour ago, I need a good cigar. It's like, oh, I really didn't know, I don't need to know that. God, I hope you washed your hands. Yeah, well, you know what? Do not buy me a cigar. Whatever you do, I'll buy my own. Thanks. And which ones did you touch in there? I'm not going in there. This is all slimy. Good thing they're in a...

Oh, man, they have their own little condoms on. Thank God. Oh, my God. Yeah, so masturbation is, I mean... It's evolved, like so many other things. Thank you. Oh man, I have their own little condoms on Thank God Oh my God Yeah, so masturbation is It's evolved like so many other things I think as we get older Is it more of a form of self Pleasure Or is it something you do more now to tease It's definitely more to tease And we have guys When they come over, they'll sit there and go I rubbed one out an hour before because I want to come too quick. Yeah, I hate that.

I didn't mean to say it like that. I wish they wouldn't do that because they're like, oh, we're going to come too quick. No, you're not. It's the same you do round two. If they jerk off before they come to me, I'm not going to get my big cum load that I want. I'd rather have a shorter time with them but a nice big cum load. That's what turns me on. Big cum loads, not length. Be there 45 minutes later and they cum, but it's like nothing. They're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. I'm like, yeah. But you say that's where women all differ. Yeah, that's true.

There's women who want a fucking hour plus. Then there's women who are just want orgasms I just want orgasms That's my goal Length doesn't bother me I'm going to put my quarter in a bubblegum machine I just want to spin that knob for an hour And then I'll get one fucking bubblegum I'm going to put my quarter in Spin it once and like fucking 20 of them... You're going to know your age if you actually know what a bubblegum machine is. Yeah, that's true.

But yeah, if something lasts like 15 minutes, but I've had like, good Lord, you know, five or six orgasms, I'd rather have that than me fucking for an hour and get none or one. Well, again, we're getting up there in age. Our bodies cannot take portions for that much time. Not too much. I'm better in more frequency but shorter duration. We got to stretch before. Oh, my God, literally. I mean, you know, almost need like a... I take my vitamins. I took all kinds of fucking supplements yesterday. I knew it was going to be a marathon day. Yeah. It's like I need to get a massage beforehand.

Loosen me up. Loosen up. I can stretch. Muscle rub. Yeah, muscle rub. Do a couple of mile warm-up runs. Ice down. I have to ice down my muscles. Yeah, just, you know, get in my mental game. Like, okay, you can do this, champ. You've got this. You've got this. Work through the pain. Work through the pain.

God, I hope there's no pain that would suck well if it's done right but anyway so that was my concept for masturbation yeah I think we handed up pretty good it's going to be interesting to hear what people have to say whether these like you said send in your masturbation stories and you're going to send it to hot wife podcast at gmail.com. And the best story will win spunk loop and a large size t-shirt. That's all we have. Yeah. Yeah. That's all we have. And the five other best stories will just win some spunk loop. That'll work. Okay. And so... Oh, wait a minute. I have some...

I just thought popped in from my mind. Uh-oh. I know. This is terrible. We touched on this a few days ago. Did you ever masturbate while you were driving? No. Nope. Never have.

Never have yeah i have well um angelina yeah oh my god she fucking masturbates all time while she's driving oh my god that that's just dangerous i yeah i it was a i didn't do it very long it had been a very very erotic shift at one of the bars i worked at i was all kinds of fired up and on the way home i was like i just i just gotta i've gotta do something here i'm yeah no never could never never even had the concept now i've gotten i've had women give me head while i drive that's dangerous that's different well i'm not you know my luck i would somehow translate the jerking off one hand would translate the other hand so i could be like bouncing back down the street like sideways like the cop way you've been drinking no i'm just jerking off just jerking off that's that's just as bad did you ever fuck while you're driving no no i've got a blowjob that's it okay i did i did fuck somebody while we were driving once but it was at night but the road had a lot of Thank you.

I've got a blowjob. That's it. Okay. I did fuck somebody while we were driving once, but it was at night. But the road had a lot of twists and turns on it, so that was kind of dangerous. Do you think? Just a little bit. I'm going to distract you and make sure you can't see. It's nighttime. It's a dangerous road. It was his idea. It doesn't sound like there's anything that could go wrong there. Yeah, nothing could go wrong there. Oh, gosh, we were young. I was still in my 20s, so. When you're that young, you're like, yeah, yeah, we can do this.

Oh, when you're young, you want to fuck everywhere. What's that? When you're young, you want to fuck everywhere. Oh, yeah, you want to fuck everywhere. I mean, like I said, the one engineer I was dating years ago. We worked on overtime together. Oh, yeah, you guys. We fucked in everybody's office. Did you leave spots everywhere?

we didn't like finish everywhere oh okay it was a condom thing too okay but yeah everybody's desks and stuff oh that's awful oh i don't oh now i feel so dirty every you know you got to come in the next day and you're like oh they're moving the papers around and you know you fucked right on their desk the receptionist was this beautiful ignorant cunt I wanted to deliver a load into her fucking desk drawer to put a skirt in her coffee cup to rub my dick inside her coffee cup oh that was hysterical I would love to have done that see her go coffee's kind of bleachy today I don't know.

I would love to have done that. See her go, coffee's kind of bleachy today. Kind of bleachy today. That bitch would probably never know the flavor. She's like, I don't know, I've never tasted anything like that. This is probably so bitter. No, I'm sure you haven't. I'm sure you haven't. Oh, my God. That's so dirty. Oh, I didn't know you had that in you. Oh, you're such a dirty boy. I love you more. My statement has always been, I can be your best friend to your worst enemy. You get to pick. Like I said, you piss me off.

I'll go out of my way to shit in your cornflakes that's the first time i ever heard that you you fucked like everybody's office oh yeah that's the conference room the kitchen oh my god every yeah oh that's hysterical i love it she didn't trim up at all so there's there was some like dna pubic hair evidence. Oh, no. I guarantee it, yeah. Somebody's, like, with some paper. She didn't squirt, but she would get so fucking wet. Oh, yeah, there were snail trails. There were snail trails and pubic hair evidence, yeah. Yeah, she could have been convicted. Oh, my God. That's so terrible. It's so funny.

I love it. So did you pick offices, like you said, of people you didn't like? No, we fucked in everyone's offices. Oh, my God. Nobody was immune. No. I think the only people we didn't fuck on was my desk or her desk. See, I would have done definitely on my desk because I don't care. That was more erotic fucking on the desk. Oh my God, that's terrible. I had to ask that question. Burning, you know, inquiring minds want to know. That's hysterical. You little slut. I try to be. That's funny. When all parties are willing, I am. So anyway, all right. So I want to thank you.

Hopefully we'll hear from you guys. And looking forward to hearing the stories. I hope. You know, be creative. I mean, hopefully be the truth. We'd like to hear some really cool, truthful stories. Don't be making it up like, well, I was on Mars. I already used that story. Oh, yeah, I did. Sorry. Can't use that one. Or tell us what the, use that one the story could just be what do you do to masturbate how do you enjoy masturbating and it better be legal don't be like well I use my friend's hand my friend is ex old they're asleep. That's one of those college things. I told you what we did.

A guy passed out. We were partying really hard. I used to go to my friends at different colleges since I didn't go to college. And I'd go help him get kicked out of school by drinking too much. There you go. One guy passed out. Completely drunk. So we kept partying.

So a couple hours had gone by by so i came up with this idea i said okay what you're gonna do is you know joe take your dick out and what i did is i i took my two fingers and i put them in my mouth i wet my fingers right he's laying this dude's passed out so i took took my fingers i wet them right and i just took one of the two and I rubbed it on his lips just gently around there and he wakes up and looks and here's Joe standing with his dick hanging out oh yeah he was kind of pissed I thought maybe we did the what do they call those Swedish sit ups no the whole Roman gladiator thing you sit on top with your balls hanging down on their head and you take a picture of it no no roman helmet it's got a roman helmet nope nope this we just uh yeah so he woke up thinking that this guy's probably his dick on his lips like no no i swear it was just vince's fingers oh that's just as gross but he doesn't No, he didn't know.

No, he didn't swear. It was just Vince's fingers. Oh, that's just as gross. But he doesn't know. He didn't know. I know. He didn't know. So he turned gay after that. So he had to turn really like that. Anyway. All right. So send your stories in. Again, check out Spunkboob.com. Check out HotWifeDonnaLynn.com. And find out where she's at. See what's going on. See some of these videos that are going up. Oh, yeah. There's hot ones coming up.

There's hot coming up if you want to see Donna masturbate schedule a video chat with her that could be fun take out some of my toys I don't get a chance to use too often yeah right and I don't breathe much so anyway I want to say goodbye and thanks everyone thanks everyone, Have a great night.