Loveless Relationship

Transcript

Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized re- opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18.

Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now let's heat things up. hello everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot white podcast uh we have the air on so i'm hoping it doesn't make a whole lot of noise. I'm adjusting my mic as we speak to try to diminish the amount of hum. Yeah, so I'll probably just have to take it out post. Oh, okay. Good luck. Yeah, it's just too hot not to have the air on. Yeah, the humidity is way up there. Yeah, it's a really sticky, sultry day. I'm dripping wet. Sweat.

You look at me like I'm crazy. Just not sexual. It could be sexual. It could be, just not. No, it's just, it's not good sweat. It's gross sweat. I got the boob sweats going. Oh, man, I'm telling you, I was, I'm still from working earlier today, my bra was wet, everything was wet, it's like, this is so much fun. Yeah, it could be worse. It could be worse. You know, again, like I've said before, if the weather is the only thing you have to bitch about, you're doing okay. Man, you're doing okay.

That's right a little uncomfortable suffering from diseases and cancers and stuff like that you know what yeah they would love to have another hot hot sweaty summer you know yeah oh yeah they'll take boob sweat over anything damn right oh my god give me a little boob sweat so it's all good um all right um okay get out all out all the nastiness. Yeah. It's not too nasty, by the way. I hope we didn't upset that couple. I haven't heard from them since we did the last show. I don't know. Maybe we did. Wasn't anything bad. We are a little out there. Well, we weren't bad.

We weren't, like, trashing them. We support what they do. You like young men, too. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I absolutely do.

Maybe they haven't listened to that podcast yeah maybe they have a life what dare we dream i hear there are people who have lives that have lives we're not those people no not not really no but some people some people have lives but yeah um yeah there's something to be said for the younger guy there's certainly a lot of fun but we already discussed that so i will trust you on that i wouldn't lie about that I, I, if you want to send us an email ask us a question give us a topic um buy us an air conditioner no just kidding um but 50shadesofpleasure.com is a free swinger magazine and there's a paid one which I don't think next month we're going to have the paid one just going to do the free one yeah people aren't interested i don't i think people like free i get it we had comments people wanted to see like more stuff and i'm sorry if i gotta pay models exactly you know i can't give it to you for free you know exactly um so spunk lube oh spunk lube i did a cam show uh for a gentleman just a couple days ago and and boy spunk lube came in handy i i packed it up because i was going to go someplace where it's nice and cool and in fact i did down here in the studio so i packed up my spunk lube made sure i had that there's nothing worse than using a toy male or female without some kind of lubricant and spunk lube is just great because it it's not sticky especially as gross and sticky as the humidity is spunk lube just stays very silky and it doesn't like get gummy or sticky or gross so i was really happy with that so yeah it was a it was a good uh little you know webcam video chat thing and i was you know i used my toy one of my favorite toys and yeah, it was a good little, you know, webcam, video chat thing.

And I was, you know, I used my toy, one of my favorite toys. Good. Yeah, I had some fun. All right. Hotwifedonnalyn.com. Oh, that's where I'm going to be. And you'll be seeing all the stuff I'm doing and people I'm doing. Good. What posts are going up. The fun you're having. The fun I'm having. All right.

So, with that done, tonight's topic is about the ways that swinging lifestyle can help a sexless marriage or relationship or relationship yeah well you just probably use marriage just because it's easier yeah you can say relationship relationship probably covers both yeah it probably does yep yep so i mean i guess let's establish why there could be a problem or why you may have a sexless relationship. That's a tough word, sexless. My mouth does not want to say that. I understand why. That's what I'm saying, yeah.

You know, first of all, like we've hinted on, as you get older, you have aches and pains. No, really? Oh, my God, I'm so glad I'm not in that category. Yeah, okay. I'll see in that category. Yeah, okay. Well, there's also, like, you have the balance between life and job, and sometimes job takes over life. Well, stress of life, let's put it that way. You have, as we get older, sometimes men get dysfunction. Right, that's always a problem.

Sometimes sometimes relationships just people aren't you know outside the bedroom aren't as um romantic or caring um and we've talked about that before numerous times absolutely you know like you know giving a lot of credit to women women generally have a lot on their plate you know you can't say in every situation but you in ours. You do all the cooking. No. You do the cleaning. I do the cleaning and landscaping. You better keep that landscaping. Yeah, there you go. I better keep that nice and smooth, that landscaping. No brushes growing down there. You know, I mean, there's so many reasons.

I mean, just sometimes you grow apart. Mm-hmm. You know, so we'll explore, is swinging a potential solution? And we're going to word it as potential. Yeah. We're not going to tell anybody or claim it's the end-all be-all yeah when you were like reading off the the all the lists that they were talking about in that article i was like i i let me just put it out there i don't know if swinging will help a loveless or not loveless i'm sorry a sexless relationship there's a lot more going on there and bringing in another person might just add a whole other debacle to the whole situation.

Well, you still have to have the willingness to let your partner point with somebody else. Exactly. Okay. And I don't know if the relationship is sexless or let's just say sex isn't great. Yeah.

Adding another person, for whoever partner it is or i just think that it's a valid question i mean could it work i i'm i'm a pessimist with this one i'm sorry i i don't see it working because swinging you have to have a good um a good foundation to begin with before you add other people into the mix and if you're already like on the outs and the things aren't working well and you're you know the sex isn't great adding another person to spice it up may have the exact opposite result in fact it's going to result in jealousies and this and that oh she sucks your dick better than me or you know she does anal and i don't and you know or whatever it might be i i'm not sure if Thank you.

jealousies and this and that oh she sucks your dick better than me and but but up it or you know she does anal and i don't and you know or whatever it might be i i'm not sure if that's such a good idea it's like adding it's like having kids when your relationship is not great oh kids will fix it no no that's just the opposite it's terrible no i agree with you um but again so but if you both come to an agreement that you want to try it, of all of a sudden, you know, like, voyeurism is, you know, maybe one of them would like to see. Right. And maybe one is an exhibitionist.

There's two reasons that it could work. If one likes to show off and hopefully the one likes to watch. Well they both like to watch you know they yeah you know i mean the the three main reasons that the article talked about right is voyeurism exhibitionism and full and soft swap right which all tie into exhibitionism and voyeurism sure you know You know, if you're in that relationship where it's not going sexually the way you want it to. Right. You know, if you have a trust level. Sure. You know, again, you know, I mean, it might not cure it, but it might. Add the spark that's needed.

It could kick it up where it could develop into something more if if all of a sudden you see okay another instance could be where your significant other wants or doesn't want to do something and you do or don't want to do something but so that person gets to do whatever they want right with somebody else it satisfies their want right exactly but the other person might feel slighted like oh like i said before oh they are doing anal and i don't do it as an example but it could be something like also it's like oh you know what she enjoyed that so much and she had an orgasm right exactly you know what maybe i Maybe I'll try.

Maybe it's something that they could agree upon and go, okay, we'll have to kind of work into it. It could go that way. I guess it depends on what else in the relationship is causing problems besides the lack of sex. Or maybe the sex has just become kind of mundane.

it's like if you've grown if you've grown apart you know i don't think it's anything's going to save it well it depends on how far you've grown apart to what do you how far have you grown apart is it an inch is it a mile well again it depends are we in different planets here i don't i don't know yeah i mean it depends on what else is going on in the relationship you know if if you can get everything like if everything else in relationship is actually pretty good it's just the sex is kind of stale because you get into that you know the uh like a routine maybe adding another something to the mix might be the way to to bring it back that does make sense but everything else has to be good yeah i think it depends also on how much or why you've grown apart true with the growing apart because you notice like all she's always talking about this guy joe at work right you know and everything else and she she goes to lunch with joe and everything else there's something and you know that then sudden she says, hey, you know, I was talking to Joe, and he'd be willing to fuck me.

Yeah. You know what you watch? Yeah. Maybe, you know. I think that's going to, that's not going to end well. Yeah, I mean, I don't, yeah, so this article, I don't think there is a end-all, be-all answer to it. No. There's so many other areas in a person's relationship that has to be healthy before you, like I said before, bring somebody else in. Before you jump in the pool, you've got to make sure that everything else is on the good. It could really crash and burn, and it could get ugly.

Well, I think when people are are so unhappy in a relationship it's easier for them to fall for somebody else oh sure absolutely and it's so much easier like a friend of ours was not happy in her relationship so she started to swing we'll call it that right behind her husband's back right wound up quickly falling in a relationship with somebody right um funny enough that is very similar to what she got out of this that and it's like that is another weird thing i i noticed the same thing we've even talked about it in this particular instance i don't want to go off the topic too much but the that she complained about, the things that she didn't like about her husband is exactly the same things that this second person has, these traits.

He's just a better looking guy. He's better looking. He makes probably the same amount of money as her ex-husband. Right. Has the same habits. Has the same habits. He's just a better looking gentleman. Yeah, that's it. I'll use that word loosely. But other than that, there's no...

It's like all things that she said he she didn't like about her husband he he has different but similar i don't want to go into too much detail but different but similar both of them i'll use the only thing i'll say they both like the collect things you know kind of like the hoarders and have so that both of them have that so many other things they're both controlling those controlling you know both stinky so that's really weird that you always you always hear women that get battered that they keep going after the same type of guy and even though it's a different guy and he still beats her because she's still going after the same type it's that same kind of a thing is i how do you break that that cycle well you have to be you have to be cognitive of it sure and you know again i've talked about how i was heavily abused as a child by my father right physically not sexually right um and i made a vow growing up that I would never do that to my children i mean i beat the fuck out of plenty other people but not my children never my wives no even though my first one kind of deserved it you know never hit him hit her um but you have to make an effort to sure if you don't want that you should should, I mean, everyone, if you're in a bad relationship and only you can determine that, you should always want something better for yourself.

I agree. I agree. That makes sense. I'm playing with my volume knob, so when I'm not talking, I turn it down. Oh, okay. Sometimes I forget to move it up while I start talking. But, yeah, no, you have to, you know, if you, in this case, I don't know if I agree with this article. I kind of think when you get to the point of sexless relationship, it's kind of on the way out already. Yeah, I agree. So now it's like, okay, we're going to go out and fuck around and find somebody out. So whoever gets the first one to find someone that they think is special is the first one out. It could be like that.

Yeah. I mean, that's my opinion. And that don't mean shit, but it's just my opinion. And also with sexless, I'm also going to include in there like lack of intimacy, which is. What I go through daily. Lack of. I mean, you know, even if it's just like just like you know a touch on the back of the neck or a little peck on the cheek or some that's a knife you put yeah i know i forgot about that i said here you little prick and i get you with my knife no i mean not having sex there's's a lot of other problems.

But if you don't have that intimacy, like I've seen old people that in their, I mean, I know they're in their 80s, 90s. I know they're not having sex, but they're still intimate with each other. They're still holding hands, you know, they're still, you know, talking with each other.

I've seen him like i've watched one couple and he like you know brushed his his fingers like over hers and touched her face those kind of things that those intimate details that are not sex yeah they're very subtle they're very subtle but they're every bit as important as um you know slapping nasties or bump knucklies you know works yeah so i mean that's every bit as important it may be more maybe more i don't know oh i think there's um yeah like holding hands holding hands and you know just um those little uh tender moments yeah those little tender moments I think are really important.

I think they kind of also show you what kind of relationship a couple has. Right. Because, you know, I've pointed out to you when we've been out to eat in the past. You see couples, they sit there and they're like at breakfast. They're both reading the paper. They don't talk to each other.

They don't even like, hey, I just read this, blah, like hey i just read this oh now it's the phone you can look at people and sitting at tables playing games or whatever whatever we're almost as bad we're checking email and you know we're still talking about stuff yeah we definitely do that we talk all the time all the time i know shut up all right I'm going to be quiet now. Yeah. See? You couldn't do it. Can't do it. But, yeah, no again. Oh, my God. I always catch myself with that, since you bugged me about it. But do you know how many people I hear say that? I know. It's very common.

I don't know if that's a Pennsylvania thing or what that is. I've done it too. It's a yeah comma. Like, I understand what you're saying, but the actual response to the question is no. It should be yeah, but no. Yeah, but no. So we just say yeah, no. I always miss the but. I always miss the but. But anyway, yeah, I think if your relationship, in my opinion, goes sexist, you can't say that word. Again, I've been up since five this morning, so I'm tired. Are y'all? I'm sweaty. It doesn't help. But no, I think swinging isn't necessarily going to be your answer. It could. It could help.

I think there needs to be a sit-down and an evaluation of where is this relationship going? I mean, are you happy? Am I happy? And be honest with each other. Right, right. You know, it doesn't have to get ugly. Yeah. I guess my biggest fear is bringing in another person could really rock the boat. It could. If things are already kind of pretty good and things are just stale, that might actually help.

Well, if you have a relationship that you're kind of getting bored, I think that's different than sexless right i think it was getting bored and you know you said to go hey honey i'd really like to see you with you know another guy or with another woman again and that gets tricky in the sense of you say to your wife you want to see her with another woman and you know she doesn't have that uh here's one for you proclivity whoa I was going to have to look that one up I got to use that in a sentence um i'm so proud of you thank you i'm a little lightheaded i'm glad i'm sitting down i'm glad too but um you know if that's not her nature right right you can't force people to go against their nature well you know first thing she is like, oh, I guess you want to fuck her too?

The proper answer there would be no. I just want to see you with another woman. Right. Then in the back of your head, you're like, fuck it. Could you imagine two women sucking my dick? Oh, my God. I was kind of thinking, honey, you're holding the camera. You don't say that. You don't say that.

You might think that, camera you don't say that you don't say that you might think that but you don't say that no no you want the two women hopefully go at it right and then let them invite you in it's like me oh honey this is all about you this is all right exactly oh my god oh but if i fell for that make you happy i fell for that one you use that one a couple times a couple hundred times um but um That's going to make you happy. I fell for that one. You used that one a couple hundred times.

But, yeah, it's, you know, but then again, if your wife says to you, I'd like you to, you know, spit rose me. Right, right. Obviously, she's going to fuck this guy. Obviously. You know. Now, if your wife says she wants to fuck another woman, but doesn't want you to, I mean, someone's going to fuck this guy. Obviously. You know? Now, if your wife says she wants to fuck another woman but doesn't want you to, I mean, someone's going to get ass hurt. Yeah, I can see that happening. I can see that definitely happening. So, yeah, be careful. Someone will get ass hurt.

Someone's going to think, oh, you went them over me. Exactly. Again, you know, you might have to tell them, no, I just want this one time. This will be something special. We'll see how it goes. You know? Give me my hall pass card. We're just going to do it. See what happens. Yep. You know?

Now, for a guy, if he gets to have the wife and another girl and he comes right away, which chances are he will, especially if you come with the other girl, your wife says she's hotter than i am wow you're a deep shit dude yeah jerk off for every day three times a day for a week before it happens i don't know about that it's just exciting i get it but someone could interpret it sure you know well i'm i go i reflect back to the girl that had her tongue pierced and you came pretty quickly i thought for sure i believe me i thought for sure you'd be like okay hon we're gonna get your tongue pierced no but you also have to remember she's used to sucking a horse cock oh that's true so what the trick she has to perform on that horse cock versus my little oh stop it nothing to do with that i'm sure it just felt different then well she was able to do more because she could get the whole fucking thing in her mouth yeah her husband had one big dick didn't he jesus christ his dick was as big as she is yeah she's a tiny she's smaller than you she's shorter than me but uh anyway so it's uh yeah it's again i don't think swinging is necessarily the answer for someone that's in a troubled relationship i agree that's what i was gonna say when you told me about this topic i'm like yeah if you're just if your sex life is just kind of like on on hold it's not bad it's not good it just needs something needs a shot in the arm swinging bringing somebody else into the fun into the mix could really help well especially if you guys have fantasies you've talked about fantasies you want to see the other person do something i'm sorry go ahead no i didn't want to interrupt you um if you guys were swingers previously and just said, okay, we need to take a break for a while.

Sure. And then you said, you know, why don't we revisit it? Sure. That's one thing. That's one thing. But if you were never swingers, and I say you've been married 20, 30 years. Yikes. And all of a sudden now it's like things are getting routine. And it's like, honey, I think you need to watch me fuck another woman. That might not fly. That might not fly. No. The same as the wife goes, honey, I think you need to see me get gangbanged. May not fly. Might not. Of course, husband might be fucked. Oh, he might. Yeah, he might. It depends on the person, absolutely. But yeah, it is.

It's a sticky wicket. I was just going to say that. Sticky w sticky wicket you better be careful where you step because you might step in a pile of shit with this one don't assume no when they when you read me that article i'm like oh man i see so many it was something i thought we should talk about yeah absolutely it was interesting absolutely something we had to stand behind 100 is just something i think people should think about if they're in that situation. And it's always really important to have open dialogue with your partner about things before they happen.

You don't want to just come home, oh, this is, you know, Betty Sue. She's going to join us tonight. Whoa, wait a minute. You know, you got to have a little heads up. You got to talk about it, you know. I'm broaching that first conversation l mcpherson yeah and i'm gonna i don't want you to feel inferior but i'm gonna fuck her and you're gonna watch don't mind me fucking this supermodel you just take your 75 pounds overweight and stand in the corner no that's just rude you don But, I mean... Well, how should I tell you then? Well, that's the tricky part. How do you broach that conversation?

How do you preface that conversation? Well, I think if you feel... These are vanilla people. These aren't swears. Yeah, these are vanilla people. I think if you both can agree that things maybe have gotten stagnant. Right, right.

And that you both love each other and you both trust each other, but things have gotten stagnant right and that you both love each other and you both trust each other but things have gotten stagnant right then maybe you want to approach the aspect of okay like this article says maybe try swinging try soft swap right you know where if if you either don't do anything with anyone else you just have sex with your partner in front of other people see how how that goes. Right. Then maybe go to SoftSwap where, you know, you can perform oral on the other people but nothing else. Right. Exactly.

And I think even before you even bring another live person in. Blow them dolls? No. I'm like, maybe watch some sexy movies, you know. Or make some. Or make, oh, there you go. Make some. Yeah. Whatever whatever i mean uh but again i mean be honest with each other you know what what's going on with um you know as everyone owned up to their fantasies right you know i mean could it be i'm gonna i'm trying not to drive could the husband and sit there and go, I'm kind of interested in playing with John. Boom. I mean, could it be, I'm trying not to dry heave.

Could the husband sit there and go, I'm kind of interested in playing with John. Hey, everybody has their turn-ons. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's not out there. I know that. You just dry heave all you want. I'm not saying not to. I'm saying people need to own up to it. If that's something that if all of a sudden maybe the husband has tapered off. And maybe it's because he's like, honey, I love you. But I want a big old dick in my ass. I need balls on my chin. I need a big dick in my ass. I want to share a cock with you. I want to feel whiskers on the inside of my asshole.

I want my balls to play clackers with another set of balls. See, I would not be offended by that, but you definitely What gave you the... It's okay, dear. It's all fantasy. There's no fantasy there, no. It's not going to happen, is what I'm trying to say. It's not fantasy. There's no fantasy there. No. It's not going to happen is what I'm trying to say. It's not going to happen. Not fantasy for me. It's not your fantasy. That's a horror movie for me. But for those who enjoy that or desire that, God bless you. I support you with that. You should definitely own it. Yeah.

Because there's definitely outlets for it. Sure. And inlets. And inlets and outlets. Oh my. I'm not going there. No, I wouldn't. So anyway, but yeah, so think about it. You know, if you think it's something that, first of all, is your relationship savable? Right. That's, I think that's important. That's the first question. And you both have to come to that agreement. Not, not one of you.

I mean, You can go to your significant other And go hey where do you think we are Is this relationship savable Oh yeah I love you And you can be like Okay well You got to be honest with each other at that point It's like okay if one of you has checked out Maybe you need i've been there i've done that right right twice hold on a second oh you you're oh you're in trouble now after the show i'm sure i have some papers i need you okay of course he's joking right maybe how about those phillies yeah but anyway um so yeah i mean i think there's a lot more steps to take if your relationship is on the rocks then just go let's swing right right so count i won't rule out counseling oh yeah i mean definitely counseling would help but i again i don't want to i don't want to keep going over the same point but you have to realize like okay are we just in a little bit of a little bit of a rut you know where our sex life is just a little stale or is our relationship really in need of mending or or work or is it ready to give it up yeah so are you in a position you're like i just can't take short women anymore yeah you're always in that position huh oh no no not me other people that's another vince right yeah with another short wife with another four foot eleven wife you know there's so common you know more than you would think yeah i know so anyway all right well that's our take on it anyway that's our two cents at this point we're just going to start circling back and beating yeah beating it to death so but yeah be careful you know talk again open communication find out where you are in your relationship before you start adding in another football team yeah baseball team we're a female I love you.

Again, open communication. Find out where you are in your relationship before you start adding in another football team. Yeah. Baseball team. Or a female lingerie football team. Yeah, or that. Yeah. Which then maybe the wife would get on board with. Maybe. All right. Well, I want to thank everyone. And until the next show. Hey, have a great night, everybody.