In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, hosts Donna Lynn and Vince explore the complexities of relationships, intimacy, and the challenges of maintaining desire over time. They discuss the importance of communication in navigating topics like hot wifing and the impact of physical changes on intimacy. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of loveless marriages and the potential for rekindling desire through open dialogue and alternative relationship structures.TakeawaysThe podcast emphasizes the importance of adult conversations about relationships.Listeners are encouraged to take things slow when introducing new concepts like hot wifing.Gauging the relationship dynamics is crucial before making any moves.Physical changes can significantly impact intimacy and sexual desire.Communication is key to understanding each other's needs and desires.It's important to address feelings of unattractiveness in a relationship.Exploring alternatives in relationships can help rekindle desire.The hosts share personal experiences to illustrate their points.Understanding that a lack of interest may not be personal is vital.The episode concludes with a reminder to communicate openly with partners.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now let's heat things up. hello everybody this is donna lennon welcome to my hot wife podcast of course i'm here with my ever-loving husband vince as usual so ever-loving yes you are okay absolutely so we're gonna cover a topic that uh is true and dear to our hearts well we'll get to it we'll get yeah we'll get to it especially since it's right around valentine's day i think it's perfect it's perfect it screams valentine's it screams valentine's i'm telling you so um again i want to thank everyone for who writes in um we had uh somebody wrote in that has written in before we had had a conversation and he uh actually had said that he thinks he's at the point where on valentine's day he's going to talk to his wife about becoming a hot wife. Oh. Now, I don't remember if they're swingers or not. Okay. I was going to say, are they in the lifestyle to be dealing with? I don't know. But my advice to him was that take it slow. Take it slow. Run it by her first. You know, the concept, you know, have a conversation about it. Right. And then before you even, let's pretend she is in on it. Speaker2: Right. Speaker1: Sit there and, again, don't just run right out and try to find someone. Speaker2: Right. Speaker1: Maybe, you know, have fun with it. Like, as you're having sex or whatever, talk about it. It's like, oh, I can't wait to see you with this or hear the stories of you with this guy or that guy or those guys or whatever. Football team. Live the fantasy. Build the hype up. Yeah, especially if you get that fantasy in her mind, she takes ownership of it. Like you talked about with sales, and she's imagining herself in that position. GMO, that's it and i noticed that like when when i you were talking about the early days about bringing another guy on you talked about the the fantasies and for me yeah that's what i meant for me and the fantasies at first was kind of like oh i don't know. But then the more you thought about it, the more intriguing it became and more desirable. So it took a little while, but it did. I started to take that mental ownership of it. Speaker2: Yeah. Speaker1: That's why I suggested to him. Again, I apologize. I'm not going to talk his name.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
I don't remember if they were or weren't swingers. Obviously, obviously if they are swingers it's probably a little easier to maneuver that um if it's someone where they're not in the lifestyle oh baby that's gonna be a little tougher maneuver to pull off you know that's a you know something to think about that um most people might not think would be a good introduction to swing. But like when we would watch like a movie together and there's an attractive man or woman, one of us would point out, hey, they're really hot. You know, or that person, they have a really nice body or this or that is very sexy about them. So you start throwing out those little things. So, hey, see that guy? Do you think he's hot? You know, those muscles or this or that whatever she's into you know and maybe put that little she might be like yeah yeah he'd be fun you think he'd be fun the fuck and then and see where that goes just that fantasy yeah you have to gauge it um according to your relationship yeah i agree um we don't know your particular situation exactly so just going to tell You proceed with caution. With Yeah, I agree. We don't know your particular situation. Exactly. So I'm just going to tell you to proceed with caution. With caution, I know. If you're not careful, you can scare her off completely. That's true. You know, I mean, a friend of mine, he would love his wife to be a hot wife. Oh, I know what I see. Constantly. Yeah, and anyway. So if you have questions or want advice for whatever it's worth or have ideas for shows, email us at info at hotwifepodcast.com. Look forward to hearing from you. We always enjoy hearing from people. We have a bunch of people that write to us on a regular basis. Had a couple that listens to the show, at least used to. It was a nice conversation. They're out of Texas. Okay. And they had been asking me, like the wife had wanted to see dick pics. Now, I'm not big on dick pics. I don't really have any. No. And just lately we've been through a whole lot, you know, with your aunt and my job situation and everything else. And they're like, hey, you said you were. I was like, listen, sorry, I'm just going through a lot. And I probably was a little terse with them at first, and I apologized. I said, listen, I'm just going through a lot. But again, hopefully they still listen. But I'm not big on sending dick pics. Yeah, you're not one of those show-off kind of guys. No, I'm more like, yeah, you want to see it, you got to be here. And even then you'll be disappointed. Oh, stop.
Speaker2:
But anyway.
Speaker1:
So yeah, info at Hot Wife Podcast. Please write to us. And we'll have the conversation. Sounds good. So there's one gentleman who gave us a topic. We want to be a cuckold. Oh, yes. What he's going through. And, you know, so. Apparently he's moving forward with it. Well, but then it kind of had a setback. But then they came back a little bit. I told him, dude, you can't make it every time. No. You know, if you love chocolate cake. Right, right. You eat chocolate cake every day, man. It's not special. Yeah, I agree. You know, you got to make it, you know, so it's, so. So, yeah, it gives you a chance to, like, recharge your batteries, too. Like, I just reflect to, like, one of the, I think, one of the most erotic times when we did the little threesome-fouresome with Jay and Bob, and you had the really cool camera angle and the shadows. And, man, I got my ass pounded. I'll see you next time. the most erotic times when we did the little threesome foursome with jay and bob and you had the the really cool camera angle and the shadows and it i mean i got my ass pounded i came so fucking hard but if that was like every weekend it that wouldn't be special erotic anymore not so erotic anymore it was cool for that time and i and i as much as i want to re-experience that, I don't want that to be every day. I don't think I can handle it every day.
Speaker2:
And again, this kind of blends into our topic for today. A little bit. A little bit, kind of, sort of.
Speaker1:
Kind of, sort of.
Speaker2:
So we were talking the other day about some people we know,
Speaker1:
and there's more than one, so none of you are special.
Speaker2:
Okay.
Speaker1:
That are kind of in a, we will use the terminology loveless marriage yes a loveless marriage so what do you do do you hate sex or you just hate having sex with the person does the person well is that the person that you're married to right that's not giving you sex i.e donna. Shut up, I hate you. See, there you go. Or, you know, they're not putting out for whatever reason. Is it they're not, have they lost their sex drive? Or are they just tired of sex with you? Ooh, that's harsh. Well. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it's the topic. That's why we're going to talk about it. Oh, this is a tough one, especially right on Valentine's Day. This is most anti-Valentine's topic you can have. Actually, you know, it's a tough topic from both sides. Oh, yeah, it absolutely is. Now, you can speak to, like, when you were going through menopause, your your sex drive had tapered off my sex drive had tapered off because sex had become painful that's why but yes it was awful it was terrible i was miserable it was painful i was just not having fun so yeah you have a lot of physical um limitations and and physical ailments that can definitely impact your sex drive. And it sucks because my head, in my head, I'm still wanting to go, but it's not getting translated to my body. So my body wasn't reacting. It's not that I didn't want to necessarily. It's just that my body just wasn't in the game. There was no gas in the the car it's not going anywhere it's going to sit there well if something isn't causing you pleasure it causes you pain outside of the BDSM world that's a different kind of thing
Speaker2:
yeah I know so you tell me yeah I know
Speaker1:
you don't believe me but it's true
Speaker2:
I'm sorry when I see a girl
Speaker1:
like another show another show you know that BDSM party that rented out my studio oh yeah that's the girl's got fucking caned
Speaker2:
bleed
Speaker1:
her ass is bleeding
Speaker2:
from me
Speaker1:
and she loves it
Speaker2:
I'm like
Speaker1:
Thank you. that bdsm party that rented out my studio yeah that's the girl's got fucking pain bleed she's her ass is bleeding and she loves it i'm like no no anyway different different show um i don't know if that's not it's you know it's like if you eat something that makes you vomit why would you like oh i love it it tastes great but i throw my shoes up yes no you're not gonna do fucking shoes up. No, you're not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I don't think anybody would. No, hopefully not. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. You do something and it causes you pain, you're not going to do it. Unless you're really into pain and that kind of pain, and that is all the story. But yeah, it was not a good time. And it wasn't like I didn't want to. The chemicals weren't there and my brain wasn't connecting to my body I don't know what happened it just turned the other way so that's good you know that that happened well and then again being on the side that all of a sudden you know it all dries up yeah we went from oh yeah going 100 miles an hour to all of a sudden you know have the engine ripped out of the fucking car i was like yeah yeah no it wasn't you you know that come on well but being told something and what you feel exactly two different things you know i got it i'm sure again when it just kind of happens almost overnight it probably didn't happen overnight it just seemed like it just seemed like it you know because no it didn't have it but it got gradual yeah and it started out gradual and then became more rapid. Right. And obviously more infrequent, not rapid. Right. Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, again, I'm going to say in a neutral term, because it could be male or female. Sure. You sit there and you start to question, does this person not find me attractive anymore um and have i gotten worse than i was before you know this is such an unsexy topic but it's necessary it is necessary if just not so it happens if you're in a relationship for any length of time there's a really good chance this will happen oh sure yeah for those of you who listen that are single hopefully it never happens yeah hopefully well you know but again that's one of the things then um like the swing can help stimulate no no no no actually well yeah but no yeah but no okay where are we going with this it could well if all of a sudden it's like wow hey she's telling me it hurts or whatever but she still is willing to go play or he or it or they they are willing to go play with other people and then not but all of a sudden for me it's like no i'm in pain now. I can't do it. It's like, well, shouldn't I have come first?
Speaker2:
True. True.
Speaker1:
Or sometimes it does the other thing. You get riled up from playing with others, and it does carry over into the bedroom. It can.
Speaker2:
It can.
Speaker1:
But what I'm saying is you sit there during the week. Let's say you went out Saturday, and you had a ton of fun. It was erotic.
Speaker2:
So now here it is, Tuesday night. And you're like, hey, what about now? And they're like, no. week i let's say you had you went out saturday and you had a ton of fun it was erotic so now
Speaker1:
here it is tuesday night you're like hey you know what about now and like no uh okay wednesday what about now no uh thursday that's terrible no saturday no yeah well that could happen it did it does you know there were times during your time oh yeah i'm gonna pick on you because you're right here i'm right here thanks it was easy to go three weeks yeah with no attention right and i understood that it was painful for you yeah i you know we kept saying oh maybe we've tried you know i tried um all kinds of stuff this is such an unsexy topic but it's it's a it's a related topic yeah well here's the thing okay i was in my what 50s 40s 50s whatever whatever age i had taken um all kinds of like vaginal things to help with estrogen or whatever or hormones I tried topical things I got things through the mail that one that says like hers and him worry was another one yeah pills I mean black dildos white dildos none of them helped matter how much you used them. No matter how, it just didn't, it didn't help. It just didn't help. I was just so disappointed. And here's the funny part now, okay? Okay, there's a funny part? In retrospect. Well, I'll call it funny. I don't know what else to use it. Okay, you can call it funny. At that time, you weren't doing anal at all. No. Now, if you'd been doing anal at that time. Oh. You know what? That could have turned things around because anal is for- That's where I'm going. I know, I know. Well, here's the thing. Anal's kind of a touchy thing because if you don't do it for a while, it's going to be like starting over. It's going to be a little tight, a little uncomfortable. Sure, well, you're in deep shit. No pun intended. I know. That's that's gonna be terrible that's what i said to you the other night you know if you're feeling a little bit better you ought to start thinking about uh start getting some level some yeah activity just to try to look like i can move my right arm a little bit more i'm saying well you're not as a pain just like no yeah you gotta start thinking about me starting inviting some stuff over some stuff try to get you back in you know fighting
Speaker2:
fighting fighting pain just lately. No, not like I was. You ought to start thinking about me, starting inviting some stuff over.
Speaker1:
Some stuff. Trying to get you back in, you know, fighting shape. Fighting shape. Yeah, it's amazing how much, you don't think you use your arms for so much stuff, but like leaning on my arms, uh-uh, no doggy, can't do it, can't get over on my side, can't get on my stomach, can't lift up.
Speaker2:
It's like...
Speaker1:
Turtle sex. Ooh, yuck. Rather not have sex. But again, you'll always be keeping in shape. I know, but it's not fun. It's not enjoyable. I don't know. I just look at being smothered by somebody. Well, it does have to be that kind of... Again, missionary, we call it turtle sex. Turtle sex. Especially if you're videotaping. I don't care. The guy humps over the woman, and there's nothing to see except his ass yeah no one wants to see his ass i don't find it i don't like being on the bottom let's just face it let's go call spade spade i like being on top i want to be in control period period you're so out of control i know i'm so out of control but this i want to be in control if you notice i want to think you're in control i just think i'm in control the that I really miss, and I don't know if my arms will ever be able to do it, was reverse cowgirl and using the trapeze. I love that. And I was like, it was great. You could lean back. And you could support yourself. You could do reverse cowgirl, but you're not going to do trapeze. I can't do reverse cowgirl at all then because my arms, I have to support myself more with my arms. Well, he's just going to have to hold your waist and uh the guys can't do that there's not too many guys that can really do that we have to bring the trapeze down down to waist oh hey now we're talking it'd be more like a swing we'll get you like repelling gear like under your arms and just hold on to it here oh no no no that that would be too fucking funny you know you know like a fucking marionette I don't know. like under your arms and just hold on to it here oh no no no that that would be too fucking funny you know you know like a fucking marionette remember like the the trampolines where they have the harnesses but who cares i know but the think of this on the trampoline remember we went down we saw these girls training with the trampoline they were we were down the shore and they had a big trapeze and harnesses and they were doing flips and stuff we need something like that above the massage table something i could hold on to that kind of like bounces and give oh that'd be great like a baby bouncer let's get sit on dick okay but anyway so wait a minute i'm thinking now for the person there you go something but um you know for the person not getting it you run into all sorts of questions yeah am i not attractive do i stink well yeah you know but that's yeah well okay obvious. But, you know, it's like, okay, does she not love me anymore? Does she not find me attractive? I mean, there's a lot of things that go on, you know. And I'm not saying the person not putting out anymore isn't necessarily in a difficult position. And I don't mean sexually. You don't know. But I'm saying, like, you know, like I understood to some degree that you were using our example. I can't speak for everyone. You know, you were uncomfortable in pain. I got that. I understood that. But, yeah, and the part, I guess, that made it real tough for me is like well okay well we'll just do oral but even oral orgasms orgasms in general gave you pain this is the fucked up thing if i had any during your experience my experience my experience sucked because i the only way i can describe getting any kind of intercourse even a fucking finger it felt like 40 grit sandpaper like you You could wrap your finger or your dick in a condom with 40-grit sandpaper and you're sliding into my cunt and it was it was it did not feel good at all and then when i'd come the orgasm would actually burn afterwards i'm like what the forget it yeah i mean i understand that but but we know people okay yeah that talk about they're significant other just turns them down there's no excuse there's no reason there's no rhyme is there it's just like so i i question right and i i can't speak to it just my question is like okay are they not interested in sex or are they not interested in sex with that person? That is a very good question, very valid question, too. I don't know how you, yeah, that person has to look at themselves and figure out, okay, what do I want from this relationship? Well, it might not be that person.
Speaker2:
Yeah, it might not be.
Speaker1:
I mean, it's possible for someone to fall out of love, out of lust, out of interest, whatever word you want want to use with that other person. Yeah, that kind of sucks, huh? You know, I mean, especially as we get older, you might sit there and look at it like, okay, I'm with this person. Okay, I'm not going anywhere. I want their company. I enjoy their company. I don't enjoy, you know. The physical aspect. Whatever, you know. I mean, in all honesty, I think the person who has lost interest for whatever reason owes it to the other person to explain to them, hey, listen, here's what's going on. Mm- something they can do to rekindle that? Or have they lost it in general? It's just like, you know, I'm tired of when you're on top of me, your nose drips and gets all over me. You know? Or, I mean, hey, you do the same thing all the time. You get yours. I don't get mine. You know, I would like to get mine once in a while. I mean, whatever the case might be. Well, it's a hint to you. I'm sure it is a hint to me. You're such an ass. You're such an ass. Our friend Wayne actually told me that I should write a book about conditioning my ass because like the show we posted for Monday, which is a repeat show, you apparently made a lot of references to my ass. So he says, what's the secret to this great ass you have where you are? Well, the ass that I have, which isn't much, is because we have 36 steps from our driveway to our front door. That's the conditioning, isn't it? The ass that I am is due to 58 years of fine-tuning. Oh, dear. Okay. I see where this is. But, you know, it's, you know, I mean, let's pretend I showed no interest towards you like I do. I think you do. Okay. Wouldn't you want to know, like, what is it? Yeah, I think. Is it that my ass is down at my knees now? Oh, God, I fucking hate you. That my boobs are below my belly button? And I'm tripping over my nipples? Okay, all right. Meaning that the flies are swarming around? Never mind. That's just disgusting, Vincent. Stop that. You're such an ass. You know, again, we have to go back to the really simple things and that's communication and that i mean it's i'm sorry to break it down it's communication communication and that's a key factor in swinging across the board yeah if things even if everything's a perfect yeah if but again it's like if things are going, you have to tell each other things are going good. But if things are going bad, or you're not happy with a certain thing, or you're struggling with something, again, you have to express that to your partner too. So the good bit and the ugly. And if you don't want to be with that person, just get away. Sit there and go, listen, it ain't working. I'm out of here. Well, here's something else. That's what I'm telling you. Oh, yeah, you're out of here. Okay, it's fine. Or we could do something like, hey, we coexist well. We'll be right back. sit there and go listen it ain't working i'm out of here well here's here's something else i'm telling you oh yeah you're out of here okay it's fine or we could do something like hey you know we coexist well we work together well but you know i want to get my freak on once in a while if you were both were swingers maybe one could be like okay you have a hall pass go for it i mean i mean theoretically and that's all it is right it's a theory but technically if the two of you were if two people were in a situation where um they might not have the lust for each other that they had at one point right that maybe now if they got into swinging right all of a sudden seeing the other person with other people could all of a sudden like you know then all of a sudden you go back home to coexist also like you know what it was fucking hot watching you blah whatever you know that could go one of two ways it could reunite and rekindle a lust for each other push away or it could be result in jealousy oh wow like she sucks your dick better than i do or vice versa oh that's okay oh no no no i wasn't talking to you i was talking to you i was talking to oh day oh you mean you suck better than i do okay i believe you know it's called what it is You don't like to brag. The next cock I suck will be the first cock I suck. I guarantee it's not going to happen. Okay, let's go with that. It's prison. But, I mean, yeah. I mean, it could get kind of ugly. It could result in some competition and jealousy. Well, is competition necessarily bad? It may not be. It may rekindle a desire did yeah i mean is seeing your partner with somebody else make you step up your game yeah exactly so it might make you step up your game um you might also rebuild your self-esteem if somebody else is paying attention to you not that your husband or whatever significant other wasn't really paying attention to you, but... Other women don't spray me with Lysol like you do. And I do it so well. Well, the problem is you do it with Lysol toilet cleaner. That's what it's like, really? Oh, my God. No, I've never done that today. But, I mean, either you step up your game or or step out or step out yeah or agree to disagree and like hey you want to go fuck these people and i want to go fuck these people so we go and have our fun someplace else and then we come back because the house is in our name the bills the day-to-day drudgery there's something about coexisting as friends yeah if you can't make it as lovers and whatever right maybe just do it as friends and and again friends with benefits potentially potentially it could all of a sudden you know it's like you know you one of the two of you might have someone that you know revs your rocket right and all of a sudden it's like I can't't get to see that person but my buddy in the next room right can help me with this or you invite your other red your your hot lover home with your buddy and see what happens as long as everybody's on board with absolutely you don't know where if you kind of ask her you might not want to want to hear your friend in the next room howling like a, you know, a howler monkey. Well, that could be too. I mean, it could go a bunch of different ways, but I mean, if you're both like in the lifestyle, things aren't going right, but you have a lot of vested interest in each other. Sure. So it wouldn't be a big deal. Like when you had Jay come over and I was like like you know my arms killing me my shoulder i didn't have my surgery yet i was miserable and why should i be the one you know having fun we now you can have fun i i can just hang out she actually emailed texted me today once we get together soon oh that'd be nice well yeah i know life i know right now life is everything going on in our lives the same as dick pics right now i got my mind is not there i get it i understand that i completely understand that that's why unfortunately i'm not as sex driven as i used to be oh don't set yourself short you grab my ass more often than i can yeah i'm just trying to lift it back up on your knees. Oh, God, I fucking hate you so much. I'm going to get I do. I'm going to start wearing those special Spanx. Oh, no. Oh, I like to be spanked, though. Oh, different thing. The lift and tuck kind of thing. They just look like bike shorts. I don't get them. I don't get it. You should get some. Shut up. I can't even fucking talk to you. I just cannot fucking talk to you right now. How are we going to have a podcast? Oh, well, that's how it goes. It will be just the Donna and not my podcast. It won't be a podcast. You want me to teach you how to use this board? No, I don't even want to know. And disconnect my mic? I won't do that. All right, well, so that was our topic for tonight was, you know, if you wind up in a situation of a, we'll call it loveless or sexless. Maybe sexless. I think loveless is wrong. Yeah, you're right. Someone might not want to have sex, but they still might love you yeah that's true yeah due to complications okay sexless marriage or sexless sexless relationship say yes sexless relationship you know you're going to question you know is the person not interested in sex you're not interested in sex with me something the end result wind up the number one answer is ding have have a talk about it that's all you can do yeah communication sorry all right info at hot wife podcast man love to hear from you and uh hey stay horny and have a great night everybody We'll see you next time.
