In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, hosts Donna Lynn and Vince delve into the complexities of relationships, intimacy, and the swinging lifestyle. They discuss how they got into swinging, the importance of communication and trust, and the necessity of establishing boundaries and rules. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of single individuals in the swinging scene and offers practical tips for those interested in exploring this lifestyle. Throughout the episode, the hosts emphasize the importance of mutual consent and understanding in navigating these experiences.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Welcome to the Hot Wife podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now let's heat things up.
hello everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast of course i am here with my wonderful husband, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife Podcast. Of course, I am here with my wonderful husband, Vince, and his own Hot Husband Podcast. Not yet. Again, if I did that, I would just overshadow yours. I know. And all the other Hot Wife Podcasts. Of course, because you'd be the only Hot Husband Podcast. I'm not saying I'd be the only one to be the best. Oh, of course. Yeah, sure. Yes, okay. Hey, I can have my fantasies. I was just thinking that.
You can have your fantasies. That's all I got is my fantasies. Fantasies in my right hand. Aw, stop. So, real quick, I want to tell everybody that hopefully this will be our first video cast. Yes, first one. Yeah, hopefully. See how it goes. See how it goes. We had some snafus early on. My desk is no longer my desk.
It is now a mixing board, video mixer, microphone, computer, apparently a drill, and a fuckload of wires but um anyway um so if you want to reach out to us concepts comments uh questions all right um info at hotwifepodcast.com love to hear from you um actually tonight's show is going to be based on an email we got from a, a, somebody. Yep. So, um, yeah, a fan. Um, so, uh, we'll quick do a quick plug before we get into it for a spunk lube. Oh, absolutely. Gotta do it for spunk lube. Okay. So hold on. Looking for the perfect enhancement to your intimate moments?
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Okay. And Sean wrote, I was looking through your videos. Do you have a podcast that covers how you got into the lifestyle and walk others into how they can approach the topic? Oh, I know we covered this probably a million years ago.
I think we did a show that was geared just for that, but I know we've touched on it like i told him i responded to him said yeah we have covered it in dribs and drabs here and there but gladly especially so since this is gonna be our first real video podcast sure um address those who are maybe be seeing the video for the first time or seeing you not seeing me no one needs to see me oh stop but sure yeah okay so how did we get into it well gunpoint i was going to say well i've always been kind of out there since i was an exotic dancer sex and threesomes and doing things outside the norm has always been kind of very comfortable for me.
I've dibbled, you know, got into... Dabbled, maybe? Dabbled, dibbled. Okay. Hey, whatever you want to call it. And before it was threesomes and, you know, little orgies or whatever. You were sexually adventurous at an early age. Okay. That's a great way to sum it up. Yes, I was kind of sexually adventurous. Slutty. Slutty. Yes. Poor. I was. Absolutely. Trouble. Keep them coming. I love all the compliments. I just love them. I'm finally giving you some positive words.
But the thing was is like when you came to me and you said that you and your ex used to swing, I was still kind of like, oh, that's kind of weird because the people that I was having sex with, we were just friends. There was no, it wasn't like boyfriend, girlfriend here. You and I were in a relationship and or becoming a relationship is we're still early in our relationship.
And you talked about swinging and I was like hmm but that's really weird so it was actually a little uncomfortable for me in the beginning it was just a little weird well the concept for people that is tough is that you want to see your mate with other people right and I get that, that is a little peculiar but well everything about me is peculiar I don't know. And I get that. That is a little peculiar. Um, but, um, well, everything about me is peculiar. Like I'm trying to plug my headphones back in. Okay.
Um, and, um, so, but again, the first thing for people who are interested in swinging, you can't be jealous. That's true. You have to be secure secure you have to be secure with yourself and your relationship i agree that's probably the first and most important thing that i'll go get my yeah get it closer yeah um if you don't have a good foundation like with anything you're not going to have a good relationship you know you a building and you have a shitty foundation, the building's going to fall apart.
So that's probably the most important thing is a trust, a communication, and having a very strong, stable base. It's not going to fix a relationship. Oh gosh, no. We've talked about that a hundred times too. Yeah, but I'm saying we're addressing Sean's question. And, you know, so yeah, if you don't have a good base. Right.
Well, I mean, I don't have a good base right well i mean i think there's a couple aspects we can cover in the show is not only the couple aspect but the single aspect that's true um yeah i mean yeah if you think your relationship isn't stable and you're trying to do it to appease the other person, whichever one that may be. Exactly. That's not good. And the thing is, is the way you approached me, we just started talking about it. And I guess, I don't even know how it came about, but we did single men first.
We were doing, it wasn't called it at the time right but it's called it now we were doing adult uh content creation yeah it wasn't back then it was called shooting porn now it's how they give it a fancy name yeah but it was um we brought in the single men first because they were just easier to bat they're just easier to deal with and well it was part of and we used the swinger site to uh scout talent sure and and getting with um couples there well that's a whole other ball of wax we found out that's a whole other different dynamic there's it's so much more complicated and um we never had great luck with getting other couples but that that's what we did.
We basically talked it over, went on the website, and that will be Swing Lifestyle. That's where we started 20 years ago. And we kind of scrolled down, kind of like going through a buffet. Oh, that's nice. Oh, look what she's doing. Oh, he's hot. Oh, she, you know, look, you know, like just seeing what's on the menu, as it were. Yeah, so to speak. And that's what it's like. Unlike a menu, you have to hope you click. Exactly. You don't have to click with the meatloaf special. That's true. You just have to pay for it. Exactly. So there is that. So you have to read their profile.
And please read their profile. That is the most important thing. And follow what they tell you. And yes. Be respectful. Yes. When you email them. I agree. Because we've had guys, and we have on our website or on our profile, we might have something like, not looking for single men right now. I'm just using that as an example. I'm sure it's not up there like that. But these guys, oh, yeah, I'll folk your wife. It's like, well, you didn't read our profile. We said we're not looking for single men right now. It doesn't matter if it says accepting single men or not. That's just rude.
Just be polite. Yes, when he was like... If your wife is like, well, you didn't even read our profile. We said we're not looking for a single man right now. Well, even if it doesn't matter if it says accepting single men or not. That's just rude. Just be polite. Yes, when he was like that. The ad doesn't say, I'm incompetent. I need someone to fuck my wife. Okay? The ad's like, okay, hey, here's what we're into. Yeah, this is what we're doing. This is what we're into and what we'd like to do and, you know, we'd like, you know, bop, whatever.
Don't sit there and like, oh, he's got an ad here, so he's just looking for someone to nail his wife. Not really. No, no. That's not the problem. That's not the problem at all. We're looking for friends first, people who can hang with, have some kind of chemistry with, have a social environment, you know, kind of like have drinks with or, you know, some kind of a social get together.
Well, it has to be get together chemistry and then you know if the sex happens great if it doesn't well that's still okay because we still had a good time there's still that social just a social aspect we've had some that weren't great times yeah there weren't great times but i never made it to sex gratefully yes true that does happen and you you were basically the gatekeeper, the one that read all the emails coming in and what mostly guys wanted. Guys are definitely the biggest. There's a lot more guys on these websites, single guys than probably anything else. Yeah. And couples.
But I'm even seeing on the um you know there's couples but you hear mostly from the men from the men and the men are like well my wife's not really you know now she's taking a break well is she really yeah there's a lot of scams out there that's another thing i i hate to say it but like with all these social dating sites, swing sites, whatever, there are some people who don't represent themselves in a truthful manner. So you have to go in with it with a grain of salt. Meet in a public place. That's always a good one. Yeah. Because if it doesn't work out, you can say, oh, look at the time.
Makes everyone feel safe. Right. I'm not going to get out of here. And so you're not committed to anything. And they don't know where you live. I hear my mom calling. Yeah, exactly. And we had a couple guys that did not look like their picture on the profile. But they weren't bad looking. They just didn't look like the picture. So for me, it was a non-issue. The profile said 24. You're obviously 74. Yeah, they were even... But anyway, getting into it, that was really the question. Yeah. I mean, it can go on forever.
But the answer to the question is, first of all, if you're going to do it as a couple, it has to be something you both agree upon. I agree. Absolutely. And you have to establish your own rules. Yes, that's true. What are your guidelines? What are your boundaries what are you willing to to let your partner do what you're willing to see your partner do what your partner is willing to do exactly and like an example for us one of the rules is no choking that's it you know um don't let me ever see a guy put his hands on donna's throat because then my hands go on his throat and it won't be good.
But that's us. And that's usually one thing if we've forgotten a couple of times to mention that. And then it was like, oh, no. But we usually say that's the only big rule. Most guys who have been in their lifestyle for a while know to ask that question. Yeah. And they do it. What are your rules?
rules yeah you know um the other thing is i found with um connecting on all the all the the websites is like you said before have having all those uh all your ducks in a row knowing what you like what you don't like and maybe going thinking outside of your comfort zone maybe down down the road and say, hey, I really like this. But, you know, maybe, you know, a threesome or a foursome might be something we can do down the road. Well, you've got to walk before you run. Exactly.
But just know in the back of your mind, there's all kinds of things that this little adventure is going to develop into. Yeah. That might be a little bit, you know, for day one, you're like, oh, my God, I'm not going to do that. And next thing you know, it's like, hey, bring in the whole football team. You know, we're good. Okay. One mistake. You just don't know. It's like, oh. Well, the other thing is, too, you have to establish when you're going to get into the lifestyle, how do you want to enter it? Do you want to enter it where it's full swap? Do you want to do a soft swap?
Do you want to just do same room sex? Do you want to do, soft swap? Do you want to just do same room sex? Do you want to do, you know, so there's a lot of things to explore with that, Sean. Yeah, and even a lot of the parties, not a lot of the parties, but even one party we went to, there was a newer couple there and they just did same room sex. I mean, everybody else was meandering around and played with themselves. Yeah, they played with themselves. Just enjoyed being watched and watching others, but they didn't interact. They didn't interact and they did socially.
Well, we've seen that with a few couples at parties. Yeah, we have. So again, that's something to consider if you're a couple and looking to get into swinging. And I guess technically it even goes towards to a single, whether it be a single male or single female. Sure. Go to a party, potentially a club, and again, the single male dynamic is tougher to get into places. If you're a single male, you mean, yes. Some clubs and parties do not allow single men. Exactly. So if you get into one of those parties, be on your best behavior. You're very, very lucky. Be very nice.
Let people approach you about playing. Let that happen. Strike up good conversation. Be on your best manners. Be well-groomed. Yes. Not too much aftershave. Not too much. I don't want to have to taste it. We're not talking you. It's not here at every party. Yeah, but okay, other people don't want to have to taste it. You're as small as a pixie, but you don't want to appear at every party. Okay, I'm just jealous. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that could be anything that could potentially be offensive. Sure. Even something that smells really good, if it's too powerful, is not so great.
Because a little does go along, right? Another little hint. What's that? For single men. Okay. Is if a woman approaches you and everything else, and she is married, ask the husband, is it okay if her and I spend time together? Ask permission. I know it sounds old-fashioned and whatever, but you'll get a lot of points that way. We're speaking from experience. That's true.
We knew we had permission, but somehow this guy just had a rock up his ass that day and also it's like you didn't ask permission it's like i played with your wife 50 times yeah okay and your wife actually approached me yeah and all of a sudden you had a rock up your ass it was very pointy apparently it does happen so just to cover your you know you know, if you leave on good terms, chances are you'll get invited back. That's true. You know, a single woman does not have to play by his rules. No, no. But in all fairness, no. Okay. I stand corrected. Okay.
You know, a woman should actually ask the husband, I mean the wife, would you mind if I play with your husband? Oh, I don't, yeah. I think, no, I think Okay. You know, a woman should actually ask the husband, I mean, the wife, would you mind if I play with your husband? Oh, I don't, yeah. I think, no, I think. I don't think I've ever actually done that. No, you don't care. You're too busy. You don't even know what the hell I'm doing. I could be out getting an oil change at Jiffy Lube. You don't know. You wouldn't care. You're busy. No, I don't. Well, no.
Well, we've kind of done this once or 7,000 times. Yeah, so, yeah, but I don't ask the other man's wife if I can play with them. Because I'm usually like, oh, I'll take both of you. Men, women, I'm. Yeah, that's not my. Yeah. I'm not as picky as you are. Yeah, well, yeah, I have a penis allergy again. I know, and you keep breaking out in a. Fisticuffs. Fisticuffs. Yeah. But, yeah, so for me, it's just a little easier. Those who enjoy that, God bless you. Not my thing. I get it. There are certain things I don't like either, so... Me? I never said that to your face. Now, come on.
Yes, you have, actually. I have not. You have repetitively, yeah. I do not. Oh, my God, you're such a liar. I said, how are you doing today? You ruined my life. I said you doing today you ruined my life I didn't say it in that tone I meant it as an endearing little statement there I sent it into Hallmark to put it on the card you ruined my life happy birthday. But yeah, it's establish your rules. First of all, make sure you're both on the same page, that you're both interested in it. No one should take one for the team. Communication. Talk about it. Talk it out. Talk about scenarios.
Maybe there's something that might be arousing, like why you're making love and you haven't done these things. I remember back in the day, I hadn't... We were still toying with me being with... Somebody? Yeah, somebody. It was basically a certain black guy. And you would talk about it, like, what if he did this? And how would you like it that?, it was very erotic. And it got me into that mindset and got me into like being more excited to do it than if, had I not experienced that little fantasy. Sure.
You know, it's always good to talk about it and see, see like where people stand and what their feelings are about it. Because it could be very, could be kind of traumatic if you're not careful. I think my one friend who was trying to talk his wife into it, they had one pseudo experience. Right. And she is not bisexual by nature. Right. And he talked her into one night having a bisexual experience. Oh, boy. And apparently she had fun then, but afterwards felt, I use the term, embarrassed. Okay, or like, yeah. Or ashamed or whatever due to her upbringing.
So the concept of swinging across the board, whether it be male or female, is like, nope. Yes, now it's shut everything down. And he wants to, you know, wants to do the whole nine yards. Yeah, I think he was hoping, and sometimes it will backfire. You introduce your partner to it, and it seems to be a good experience. I'm very hopeful. I'm like, oh, good. It's a good experience for you. Maybe we can do it again or maybe go a little further. And then when they get ashamed or embarrassed because of whatever, it shut everything down.
And it was like, oh, that sucks because it could be, it could be a really nice experience, especially if they both enjoy it and they both get something out of it. Um, it's a shame. It's a shame because it can be a very, very nice experience. Yeah. But again, not everybody has the interest or the need. I mean, you, you know, again, if it's something you want to do, but your mate doesn't, don't sit there and, hey, come on, just do it for me. Just don't. Oh, no, that's the worst. That is the start of the end of your relationship. I agree. I agree.
And we have seen couples where the one or the other, usually it's a woman taking one for the team and she just, you know, kind of like drags her feet coming in. It's like, okay, let's get this over with type of attitude. Sure. Oh, there's nothing worse than somebody coming in like, yeah, let's get this over with. Yeah. They're doing this and what? Yeah. Oh, baby. You know, it's like, if you're not going to have fun, don't do it. Yeah. I mean, so. Well, again, it's, if you're going to do it as a couple, you should do it as a couple. As a couple. So. Not one taking one taking.
So communication, trust has to be there. No jealousy. You can't be jealous. Can't be jealous. You know, you might think you're sporting the magic dick. There's a show about magic dicks. You have to look that one up.
You might think you have the magic dick, but but you don't all of a sudden somebody else is going to appear with a little bit more magic in his dick and again don't be don't be upset seeing your significant other with somebody else she he or she could be having what appears to be a more erotic time because it's strange sex right it's not necessarily better but it just seems better at the time you're yeah that other person is making their spouse do something that apparently you haven't been able to do no it's not even that no it's it's a matter of something of just the excitement of just a strange it's something new right you know like i use a bad example here of like you go to breakfast and get scrambled eggs okay I make scrambled eggs and you eat them they're good but you go out to eat and all of a sudden it's like wow these are really good scrambled eggs they're the same fucking eggs it's just a different environment it's just that whatever it's strange that, you know, yeah.
It's strange eggs. It's something different. That's true. Everybody in this room is watching me eat these eggs. But no, it's just a different environment. Right. But sometimes you get like a different, somebody does something a little different. They could be. But sometimes, and we've talked about this on the show before. It's not necessarily better. It's just that it's different. You know, someone, you know, just because someone might be bigger or whatever doesn't mean it's better. No. It was just kind of erotic. Oh, my God, I took that thing, you know.
Especially if you're really, really super excited, you know, and you're able to do it. And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh my God. So yeah. And yeah, you might get a little, um, exuberant with your expression and your spouse might find that kind of off putting. So yeah, you just have to not take it personally. Yeah. Don't take it personally. You know, I mean, uh, again, if you listen to the shows, you'll find that I have a certain set of skills that a lot of husbands don't have. Right. And the wives tend to like my set of skills. Right. And so we go to a party.
The wives start like, me next, me next. And the husbands husband's like what the fuck that's when the wives come up to you they don't ask they thank me thank you thank you okay i'm glad you had a good time i i get a kick out of it i think it's i feel like the proud peacock slutty wife you know I brought him up right. My man, my man whore. But anyway, it's just. Oh, Cher, I don't mind.
And again, I I mean I get guys you come up and tell me it's like oh my god your wife is so gorgeous I said there's a lot of beautiful are you sure which one's my wife that one over there right yeah are you sure gorgeous that no you know that little troll you? No, you know. That little troll. You know I find you incredibly sexy. That little troll with the funky hair. Was she really tall enough to ride the ride? I didn't think she, I thought she was under Mickey's hand. I was. I was. But she still rode that ride. I still rode that ride. Anyway.
But no, so to Sean and whoever else may have that question. Right. And we want to encourage others to send us questions at info at Hot Wife Podcast. Yeah, it's communication. And you have to be on the same page. Same page. And we strongly encourage you to walk before you run or crawl before you even walk. Yeah, and that's where the saw swapping in the same room sex or you're just even talking about before you even do anything while you're making love, present those fantasies and see does it heighten your excitement level or does it. Go to a club or a party. You don't have to do anything.
You can just sit there and meet people. Yeah, you can watch. People don't generally have a problem with that. There were a couple parties you and I went to in the beginning. A certain party we went to several times and we didn't play with anybody. Yeah. Or each other. Yeah. We're just there to hang out. Socialize. Well, it was not really our thing at the time. The BDSM thing wasn't. Still not my thing. It's kind of yours. Yeah, I was very intrigued. That's why I kept coming back. I was like, I want to do that. I want to jump in the pool, but I'm kind of afraid.
You know, one of those kind of things. But, you know, go check it out and then talk about it afterwards. You know, it's it can be a great experience or it could be a horrible experience. It's what you make it. Don't go into it naive or overzealous. Yeah. That's a big word for me. You should appreciate it. Well, I do. Overzealous. I'll write that one down. I couldn't spell it. Well, yeah, I think you touched on the points that are super important. Oh, maybe I have an exit strategy. No one's going to hold you in a party. No, but let's say if things are going, like you're not feeling.
Use your safe word. I have a safe word. The safe word is get the fuck out of here. Yeah. We never did this, but I'm sure like if we were in some place we didn't know and we wanted to exit without looking rude it would be like oh remember the babysitter is going to be I would love to let her suck my dick but I ate asparagus safe word is asparagus I mean you might want to think that if somebody's feeling uncomfortable without you know without making a big scene. It's generally not. People understand. Yeah. You know, we've seen things where people came and it was like their first experience.
Right. And they left early and nothing happened. And it was fine. It was fine. People were just like, oh, you got to learn. You know, you got to feel it out. You got to see. Exactly. Is this for you? And I think it might depend on the particular party. We've only really been to one group, you know, so we don't have that much experience with different parties. It's usually the same basic people and other people coming in, which is, it's very, very, it's a very safe environment. Everybody's very friendly and understanding. Every party we've been to has been that way. Yeah, that's true.
But it's always been the same core people, and I think that makes a difference. We've had bad luck, personally, at meet and greets in clubs. Yes. But that's our experience. We know plenty of people that are regulars with them. So you have to go and experience what's right for you. Yeah. We're not great in big crowds. No. I like a more intimate setting, but that's just you and I. That's what I like. I like to have either just another gentleman or another threesome or a foursome like another couple and keep it to that or small parties. Just the JV team. Or just a varsity.
Not the whole Not both because it's just too much. Yeah, come on, you're only 4'11". Exactly, I can't handle two... You only have two hands and mouth and two other openings. Two other openings? Left ear, right ear. Oh, of course, that's what you were going for. Okay.
So, all right, well, the camera just ran out of space i guess i don't know i'm still recording on the pc okay so we'll see how we'll see what happens anyway all right so we're gonna wrap this up i think we kind of covered the question and again if you have any further questions info hot wife podcast your stuff okay you want to see what i'm doing who i'm doing and what i'm doing with them hot wife donnalyn.com. Okay. You want to see what I'm doing, who I'm doing, and what I'm doing with them?
hotwifedonnalyn.com It has all the links to all the platforms I'm on, including this podcast or the audio podcast. Well, we'll put the YouTube up on there, too. We haven't done everything yet, but everything should be on there because it's on my links page. I want to thank you all for listening. Have a great night, everybody. Thank you.
