“From Curious to Comfortable: A Real Talk Guide to Easing Into Anal Play”

Transcript

Speaker1: Hi, this is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife podcast. Hello everybody, this is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife podcast. Again, I'm here with my wonderful husband, Vince. Oh, yeah, that's me. Well, I made sure I said it this time because last time I kind of got preoccupied. You're like, hey, wait a minute here. You forget about me? Boo, fuckity hoo, he's crying. I started already? Damn. Oh, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, so sorry about that. I was preoccupied. Yeah, yeah, okay. Excuse me, I gotta go find my safe space. Yeah, you go find that. I need to have my comfort alligator take it for a walk. Of course you do. Did you see that? No, is that for real? A comfort alligator? Yeah, there was a young girl. She was maybe 10, 12 years old. And she wasn't a full-grown alligator. Down in Love Park where they have fountains squirting up through the asphalt or the pavement. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's walking her fucking alligator. It's her, you know, comfort alligator. Well, you know what? This thing's going to grow up and it's going to eat your fucking ass is what's going to happen. It's going to be a comfort meal. They're dangerous. And take that out in public where it could hurt somebody else? A lawsuit. I'm sorry. Anyway, I don't want to. Yeah, let's not go there. I was just thinking about the snake I used to have that was, you know, 22 feet long or when it was stretched out. Yeah. Could eat small, literally could eat small children. I used to stick around as my thigh and it was like. Jesus Christ, that big. It was that big. I had pictures of me like lifting it up over my head. So we've had these boxes of, Questions. Okay. You dug them out again? Oh, dear God. Okay. So I just picked one out of the intimacy box. Oh, geez. Okay. And the question I came up with for you, what do you wish we did more of in our sex life? More. More. If we were doing more, my head might explode. There we go. Geez, I think we're doing quite a bit. actually. I mean, I get to do anything I want to do, I'm allowed to do. Yeah. And then I'll go back and reiterate again. It's like the BDSM little party for my... This is a dangerous one. What's that? How has your childhood or upbringing shaped your sexuality? Oh. Here's the thing. My sister and I were obsessed with stripping when we were younger. Really? Like everything... Like, oh, you know, it was... What sister? Older? I mean, the older of the two? You're the oldest. I'm the oldest, mate. The youngest or the middle? How's that? The middle. Because it's just she and I. She and I. It's just she or just I. Whatever her pronouns are. I think it's she and I. But it was like, oh, you know, you were in trouble. He's going to make you strip. Or, you know, you were a bad girl. He's going to make you strip. You know, that was like, ooh. It was kind of like a, ooh, I want to, but ooh, no, that's naughty. You don't do that. You don't strip. That was big. I remember like our little games you know little fantasies you play you have the thing you're like you're a bag you have to strip and I think that hello I became a stripper. Hello Oh here's another thing my dad's mother when they named me Donna Lynn he's like oh that's a stripper's name it's like hello that's fortuitous isn't it Wow, that's a big word. I know. But it's like, oh my God, did they know? I gotta look that up. Hold on. Did they know? Is there something they should have told? What state is fortuitous in? Confusion. But I guess there's always been that sexuality in my... I finally got to use that button. Oh, yay. I'm excited. She made her funny. Ah, asshole. That's more like it. Stop. Stop playing with the fucking buttons. Leave the buttons alone. Leave the buttons alone. Jesus Christ, you're worse than a kid. Ah, I'll break them. I'll break them. Go to your room. I'll turn this studio around. But, yeah, that's, um. Okay. There's, I think there are little things pointing you towards stripping. Oh, my God, yeah. The one story talked about how you had the handicapped gentleman who was looking for a model to do nudes. He wasn't handicapped. He was in a car accident. He was in a wheelchair. He was in a wheelchair. And I was 18. Was I 18? I don't know. We'll say 18 for legality. Oh, yeah. We'll say I was 18 because I don't remember. But your mom drove you there. Drove me there. No, you were doing nude modeling. Dropped me off and then said, Yeah, call me when you're done. See ya. Hey. Okay, so here's a $10 question. Right. Did you have sex with the guy? No. That was all just legit modeling? Yeah. I mean, I sat on his lap. I kissed him and, you know, but there was no, I mean, not the first, I mean, we'd known each other for a number of months and we became friendly, but I never had sex with him. Okay. Now, he got me like another bachelor party type job. Oh, really? So, but we were friendly, but I never had sex with him, no. Okay. No, he wasn't really my, he didn't, he was a nice guy, but didn't. Didn't push your buttons. Didn't push my buttons, yeah. Sure. He wanted to, but. Oh, yeah, I'm sure he wanted, absolutely he wanted to, but, you know, he was a nice enough guy. Yeah. Okay. Well, so, tonight's topic, we've, you know, actually killed a few minutes before we got into the topic. Oh, boy, here we go. This topic is easing into anal. Yep. So this is going to be how, if your significant other has remote interest or maybe how you might be able to. Maybe has no interest, but you. How you might be able to. Yeah, get them into it. Okay. Well, first of all, with anal, for me, this is just for me, There was a sensation of anal pleasure that was there to begin with to some degree. It wasn't like oh you know you're taking a shower like you know you might be like oh I put on my pussy oh yeah yeah oh that feels good on my butthole so that was like I was okay with that so you have to have that. If somebody's like I don't want anything going near that hole then Like me. Like you. We're going to have problems. Have fun going to the, getting a colonoscopy. Can I just tell you? Well, the nice thing about that, they knock you out. I want to stay weak because you can watch it. That's a whole other story, though. It's like, God, do I have to be asleep for this? It could be so much fun to watch. But. Yeah. Okay. I, I, I'm kidding a little bit. Not a lot, but just a little bit. But you have to have some kind of, you have to be open to having anal play to begin with and being okay with it. You have to be relaxed and have some level of interest. Yes. Can I suggest, like, an adult beverage of your choice? Or two or five? Well, yeah, you have to be relaxed, but you also have to have an interest in it. No, I think your mate has to, yeah, have some level of interest. Yeah, that helps. Okay? And if you get that first step that they are interested, you can't just go, well, hot damn, what's going on? Let's go. There you go, babe. It's not going to happen. It's the equivalent of fucking a virgin. It's tight. Your butt is tight. From what I've heard from women I've had anal with, especially my first wife, when she did it initially, she's like, it's a very uncomfortable feeling at first. It feels like you're going to shit. a burning sensation, which is not pleasant. Okay. There's that. Well, you're a little asshole, so tiny is probably being pulled apart. Well, that too. And also, even if I do, I always, I've had a million colonoscopies. And every time you have to prep and you have to do the whole enemas and blah. So I'm very comfortable with doing enemas. Very, very comfortable. So even those will have a burning sensation. No, no, you want coffee this morning? After my enema. The coffee and the enema together is a coffee enema. So I get my coffee on both ends. I'm good with that. But you get a burning sensation that either A, you have to just get over or get used to. And again, in all fairness, also take this into consideration, is the size of your cock that you're going to put in the ass. Yeah, there is definitely a limit. I mean, you know, the guys that are gifted with beer can, Cox, I'll say gifted, you know. You sit there and go, okay, wait, this is something. When you do an enema, it's usually something like this. It's small. It's going to, that's fine. So you start out with something small and you work your way up. You don't start with a baseball bat. So what we're saying is that maybe your initial anal experiences need to be some anal play with a finger. Or better yet, with a tongue. Well, something that's not. Yeah. And the person. who is going to be receiving the anal, and we're going to just generalize it as person. Yeah. Whoever this person is. Whoever this person you're with that makes you happy, there should be an enema before. Yeah, you want to be clean. Yeah, you want to make sure no one's pulling out, you know, shit under the fingernails. You have to go there. You had to go there, didn't you? That's who I am. Yeah, so once you're clean and all you're cleaned out. Corn? I didn't have any corn. Well, apparently you did. But yeah, start easy. Come on. You know, start with rubbing it, kissing it. The first level of comfort should be the person not worried about pulling shit out. I prefer the word Hershey kiss. Whatever. Rosebud. Fecal matter. Well, you don't, I mean. Yeah, I don't want to do that. That could be embarrassing. It's gross, yeah. You know, it's like, wow, Donnie, it's chilly, huh? Yeah, yay. Yeah, because there's that whole yuck factor. Yeah, so the first thing is, if the person is willing, we suggest that that person. Do an enema. Do, yeah, an enema and scrub and shower. Make sure everything is clean as possible. If you're going to be putting your mouth down there, you kind of might want that. I'm saying you might. Definitely. I don't know. I can't speak for you. That would, yeah. Anytime I got a rim job, I made sure I was clean. Yeah. I'm, like, very clean. You're kind of anal about it? Oh, you're just so funny. Sorry. It's such an ass. Oh, I see your pun there. Oh, very good. Okay, yeah. Fucking asshole. There you go, more of that, more of anal humor. So the first step is they have to be willing, have to be comfortable and relaxed. Right. Thus the alcohol. Adult beverage. Yeah, again, but do not, yeah. They have to please make sure that they are cognitive. Yeah, please, not comatose. Not a glass of water with roofies in it. They have to be relaxed. Relax, relax. They have to be able to remember this the next day. It can be enjoyable. So my best orgasms work from that. But the person needs to be relaxed. Yep. You know, it needs to be something that, again, you have to be patient with. Yeah, because it doesn't happen overnight. That tiny little hole is meant, you know, to keep things in. And you're going to be stretching it out. You're going to be going the wrong way on a wrong way street. Yep. With that in mind, I suggest a lubricant. Now, I'm partial to spunk lube. It doesn't get sticky. We've used lots of lubes. I mean, I've used... Lots of lubes. Lots of lubes. Coconut oil. Baby oil. Baby oil works well. Mm-hmm. You know, and some... Water, not a great lubricant. Well, terrible lubricant, but, you know, a baby oil, spunk lube, or any of these kind of lubricants, KY. Some of them have... Water-soluble. Yes. This one's water-soluble. Doesn't get sticky. No, it doesn't get sticky. We've used some that start out good, but then get sticky, which kind of sucks. Especially a lot of the flavored ones. Yeah. This one's strawberry. This one's cookie. They tend to get sticky. They taste good. Yeah, it tastes good, but it's like eating flavored paste. Pretty much. Yeah. So lots of lubricant. Lots of teasing. Teasing does that. You have to... It's the same as... Same as vaginal, except you're going in the other hole. You want them to be fired up enough that, again, you're going to play vaginally first if you're smart, you'll play vaginally and tease them anally. And tease them. It could be where they're on top of you and you're taking your finger with some lubricant and rubbing the outside of their asshole and maybe just work the tip of your finger in. You know, it worked really well for me because fingers tend to have, Here, I am smoking cigars with just cellophane. Yep, you gotta start smoking the cheap ones. They're in the tubes. I can't do that. Well, actually, there's some very expensive ones with tubes. I'm glad they smoked them. Okay, we can save the tubes for me. Not the glass tubes, though. No, they don't make them anymore in glass tubes. No? Nope, that has been stopped. Oh. Why? Because they would break and glass would get in the cigars. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, the metal tubes, that's, it's cheap. Yeah, it's a cheap vibrator without a vibrating mechanism. Well, yeah, it's a... I want to say it's like a butt plug, but it really isn't. It's smooth, it goes in, it glides in. Okay, so the first way we're looking at this now is... Don't be afraid of it getting lost in there. Have you always heard horror stories in the urban legend about they had a toy and he got lost and went up the butt too far and got stuck in there? We've all heard stories about that. I don't know if they're true or not. We've all heard stories, but... Yeah. So, that's the first steps. That's the... In that method. Yeah. Okay. And training. So, I also recommend a butt plug, maybe. Well, I was going to go... The next step is, how about if the woman just gets herself worked up? Let's say that you're sitting there, maybe she's blowing you, and, you know, she gets a and plays with herself both vaginally and anally getting herself worked up for it i'm not a fan of vibrators on my butt well i'm saying even if it's vaginally getting herself mentally worked up yeah you know because there's a large mental game into it oh again the same same thing like anything else there's um definitely a mental game that's for sure and you know what i've noticed this is going to sound maybe a little bit disgusting but i notice when i get really worked up there is some some anal lubricant that I produce naturally. Yeah. I've noticed it. Oh, did you? Okay. It's a clear liquid. A clear liquid. It's almost sweet because I have no problem tasting myself after somebody's been in my ass. I'll do ATM. Because you know you're queen. Yeah. I do ask them out, ATM. Not where you get your money out, but ask them out. It's nice if it makes you some money. That's a whole other story, isn't it? It's a different show. Everything's a different show with us. Yeah, but I mean, it has a sweetness to it. I don't know. I didn't look into it. I don't, you know, it's like whatever. I don't care. But there is, you do produce like a natural lubricant even in your ass as you do in your vagina. So that helps with all this, you know, gets things going. And if not, you can use your old little whatever you like to use as your lubricant. Again, we're not being sponsored currently by Spunk Lube, but this is one we've used for years. Now, for, yeah, years. And very happy with the product. I need to get another gallon of it. Just saying. Okay. Maybe I should put that on my Amazon wish list. Yeah. A gallon of spunk lube. But, you know, again, it's, what we're saying initially here is you've got to build up the mental, the mental game. You've got to get those. The woman or whoever, let me rephrase that. Your partner. Your partner needs to work up the mental game of, it. Yeah. I remember there was a gentleman that we were going to shoot. I knew I was going to be doing anal with him. And I was working that day. And I remember, like, in my mind, I was getting myself so revved up to be with him and do anal. Like, it was like, I was, like, fantasizing about getting fucked in my ass, like, all day long at work. And so when I finally, you know, got to be with him, I, I, it's, He pounded my ass. Pounded my ass. Let's back up a little bit, too. Oh, my God. There was a time when I had approached you and said, hey, listen, you know, a lot of people would love to see you doing it. You're like, no. Yeah, you know what? And then, again, with a lot of adult beverages, with a lot of people asking you, you decide to try it. And all of a sudden, something clicked. Well. Now, again, and you have criteria of. Right. What dicks? You have to gauge that they're going to fit comfortably. Again, Mr. Beer Can Cock ain't going in your ass. Not in my ass anyway. Not happening. We know people that can take fisting in their ass. That's true. But remember the one gentleman I had who had the young black, youngish black guy with the dick that was really big. Oh, he was a tiny little guy. Oh, yeah. He was like all dick. Yeah. I was afraid if he got hard, he would pass out. Yeah. He said sometimes doing anal was painful for him because he was so big. He was big, yeah. You know, and he was not a big guy. He was just like all dick. He literally was. Yeah, he hung soft nine inches. Yeah. Hard 14. Literally. I measured it with my fist. It was big in diameter, yeah. Yeah, it was never fitting in my hand. Yeah, no. The second step is for the woman to, or whoever, the other person, to kind of take the reins and work themselves up. Yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of things. Again, speaking as the person who would be doing this with them, you can't put pressure on them. Yeah, there's some guys that get overzealous. I want an anal, I want your anal, I want your anal. Okay, you've had my ass, you've had my pussy. Do they feel that much different? Not really. Yeah. See what I mean? So, I mean, okay, my ass might be a little tighter. It might be like, because it's different tissue, it might feel a little different. Just the tabooness of it. So, if somebody were to slide their dick into a pussy or an ass and they didn't know. They don't know. Could they tell? No. Maybe in some women, like women who've had children, maybe. Oh, okay. Like there's women who. Oh, so their butt would be tighter. Yeah. Oh, okay. but let's just say there's women that i've talked about right not on air but i've talked about that i that i had sex with that right you know they had kids or whatever and you couldn't get traction and you could fuck them for hours because you weren't getting traction it's like i'm not gonna come but then you pop it in their ass also it's like okay because it was tight it was tighter you know okay so there's that difference well with me there's not a lot of difference for you there's not a lot of difference not a lot of difference no i mean i can tell like my ass is because it's a different it's softer you know your vagina is more muscular it's very common for a woman for the first time they do anal right sit there like or a person i guess i can only speak for women that you put it in and they're like okay just leave it there leave it there and do that oh yeah yeah that's not a bad idea let them get used to the feeling because you're stretching out that sphincter that and they're i hate to get like so medical but you know it's fine no you know it's not but it's the I think it's a matter of they also need to mentally relax. So their sphincter can relax. Right, exactly. If you make it a bad experience, you're not going back there. You're never going back again. You go to a bad restaurant and have horrible food, you're not going back there. I wouldn't think so. So give them a chance to make the right meal, goddammit. There's a lot of steps that go into this. A lot of steps. And again, one of the next steps that you've worked with, is for the woman to buy herself a set of butt plugs. Oh, the butt plugs. Yep. And, you know, they have graduated ones. Small, medium, and large. And then gigantic. Small, medium, large, and holy shit. And then it's just a giant fist. Oh, it never works. I'm not judging. Should I show them one that I have in? It's up to you. Of course I'm going to do that. Jesus. Actually, Vince bought me these. This is the medium size. Not the large. She can't do the large. You know, I thought I was doing the large. I was so disappointed. I found the large. I was like, oh, I'm doing the medium. When you get worked up, you can do the large. You think so? I've never tried. I didn't even bother. There's been guys that you're like, oh, no, his dick's too big. And you guys will be playing. The next thing you know, he's like, yeah, fuck my ass. I'm like, that's a big dick. Really? Yeah, like the black gentleman that was here. Which one? I'm going to tell you. The one that you took his white girl virginity? Oh, white girl virginity. You're like, oh, there's no way he's fitting in my ass. Yeah. You know what it was, though? He's so tall. We were doing doggy because he's so tall and it's just logistics. And you're so short. And I'm so short that the only hole we could actually go into comfortably was my ass. I'm like, oh, you're in my ass. You're in my ass. And it's like, oh, never mind. You're in my ass. Well, obviously it didn't feel bad to you. It was like, whoo. Then I was like, you know, what if I just chill a little bit maybe? And it wasn't that bad. So you have a medium-sized butt plug. A medium-sized butt plug. I will demonstrate. Well, you'll show it. You're not demonstrating. It's already in. Well, I can take it out and put it in. Oh, okay. Then demonstrate. That's not the noise of that coming out. I was her bumping the microphone. For those who are watching the podcast, and again, if you are listening to the podcast and want to see the videos, go to hotwifedonnalyn.com and you'll find the links and you can see this video for free. on Pornhub and on her ManyVid site. And she bumped that again. That's not... Sorry, I can't help it. I have a big butt. Can you see my little... Your hand's in the way now. Use both hands. Pull it open. Okay, hold on. There you go. There we go. There we go. Blue stud in there, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow. See, more than just a butt plug there, but that's fine. See, and it's just... It's just a metal. These are metal. Sometimes they have... I'm going to take my shoes off. I don't know why I have them on. But sometimes they're like a rubber or... Yeah, silicone. Silicone or whatever. These are metal. They slide in easier. They don't grip. Well, that's why I like the cigar things, the cigar cases, because they're metal. You've got to talk for your mic. Oh, sorry. That's why I like the cigar cases, because they slid in, and this is metal, and you think, oh, I'm having a metal thing in my ass. They just slide right in. Sure. He's like, sure, because I'm not going to be doing it. Yeah, I'm over here. I hope I don't step on anything. My ass is puckering. Is it really? It's not. Get on the couch. I'm not sure if the camera can see. So here she's been over. I'm putting it in my ass. Boom, there it goes. Boom. There you go. And there's some really nice ones I've seen with that. Different colored jewels. Oh, yeah. Somebody we saw, or maybe I saw them online, they had one that had a rose, a 3D rose on it. Oh, that's cool. It was really sexy, yeah. I should put that on my little. Again, if your wife gets into, or whoever gets into it. Your significant other. Yeah. I mean, how sexy would that be that you come home and you go to play and you're messing around all of a sudden, you notice she's got that plug in. So basically she's teasing you to tell you the plug is just waiting to be removed for you. Well, that's if it's a female. Okay. Whoever it is says if I remove the plug. A rose is, I would think, well, it could be whatever. Whatever. Anyone could like flowers. That's true. Now, here's another one. A good friend of mine his wife was not into anal. Oh. She was against anal. Oh, boy. And he kind of talked her into it because he saw a video and he liked where it had, and you've done a video like this, one of those animal tails on a butt plug. Oh, yeah. And he talked his wife into it and she has this, I don't know, it's called a foxtail. Sure. Yeah, like a foxtail. With a butt plug. He shot a video with a guy who had one. Yeah, he's like, here, I have this thing. And I'm like, did you use it with anybody? And actually, there was just a girl on Instagram. I think I showed you. Yes, yes, she's wearing a dress. She has a real short skirt. And I told you, I thought that'd be sexy as shit to do. I think it would be too. She just pulled the tail out from under her skirt. How is this attached? She goes, yeah, how is this attached? But if you were in the mall, just to be generic. Right. And you saw this pretty girl walking with a short skirt, but you saw a little tail. I know exactly. I'm like, she's got a butt plug in. But how sexy is that? It's pretty, it's pretty awry. Yeah, you know she's fucking, you know. Yep. Again, they make butt plugs that vibrate. Oh, I want one of them. Well, you've had the anal beads that vibrate. Yeah, they all died. I brought these. Great concept. Terrible execution. We'll have to get you the bead ones again. Yeah, the bead ones again. But this is what I had left. This is not good. That makes me stiff. Okay, well, let's move into the next step is different toys to consider. Sorry. I know how that goes. I didn't mean to do that. Again, I know how that goes. But yeah, I've been getting like different toys. This is not so great. A great idea, like I said, because this goes in your pussy, this goes in your ass. It could go vice versa. This is not going to do anything in my pussy then. I'm just, I didn't say whether it would do something. I just said you could go vice versa. It could. I think if this was a little more stiff because getting it into your butt. and it bends and it's flaccid. It doesn't go in real easy. If you take it in and out, it bends again and then it plops out. Sorry. It's not the greatest toy in the world, but I have it, so I've used it a lot. Well, people have got to find their own toys. Yeah, that's true. What works for them. Just because you not necessarily enjoy it doesn't mean it's not right for somebody else. That's true, too. I've used it a lot. I've used it a lot. I was doing all the anal webcams. I've done a ton of anal webcams. And this is the one I could use. But I was like, just getting it in there initially was like, ah, because it bends. Just a little bit of rigidity would be good. And that one's small enough that it would not get you really ready for double penetration. It's small enough it wouldn't? Yeah, I don't think it would really get you prepped for it. It kind of gets you turned on for it. Do you think that would be a good preparation for it? For the first step? Yeah. For the first step, yes. Okay. You're not going to go, you know. Oh, no, you're not going to double-fisted fucking vibrate. Thank you. That's where I was going to go with that. No, yeah. If you never had anything in your ass ever, this is not bad. This is okay. This is fine. Sure. No, even this is okay. your ass. Sure. You know, I mean. Well, theoretically, you can put the cock-shaped one in your ass. Right. And the softer bead ones, you can just rub that on your clip. Yeah. I mean, when it vibrates, there's more going on in the cock-shaped one. Yeah, because it's more rigid. Yeah. See, that's what I need, rigidity. Why do you look at me when you say that? I didn't. I just looked in your general direction. Okay. Thanks. I'm going to cry myself to sleep. Sensitive, aren't we? Wow. But I found that other ones that fit in my ass. Should I demonstrate these? That's up to you. Is it up to me? It's not my asshole. Honey, you're my asshole. And you're mine, honey. You're mine. So yeah, if you're my asshole, just jam shit in there, bitch. Well, let me take this out. Hold on. Do the pop noise because I can't. Oh. There you go. I can't do it as loud. Yeah, it's more like... Shut up. So always, you know, with your butt, I would definitely use... Again, if you want to see what's going on and you're just listening to the podcast, go to hotwifedonnalyn.com and follow the links to either Pornhub or to ManyVids. ManyVids, right. It's free to see these. I am now putting spunk loop on my anal beads and then the one will go in my pussy because this is like double penetration. And I just rub it around a little bit, so it's the whole thing. Okay. But I don't, you know, I mean, the one that goes in my pussy is not that big of a deal. But the one that goes in my ass, I wonder if I should turn around and do it the other way. I don't know. You're on your own. I'm on my own, huh? I'm too busy running the board here, okay? I don't know if anybody can see this. Can you see? Let me go look behind the camera. Hold on. Okay. See, it's like flaccid, so you can't, Your hand that's on the vibrator is kind of in front of the camera. Okay. Ooh. See, I wish this was more stiff. Rigid. Rigid, yeah. Okay. I see that. It's like it's kind of buckling under your ass a little bit. Yeah, I don't like it. All right, so something to consider if you buy a double-headed vibrator. Yeah. Okay. Just shopping tips by Donna Lynn. So, actually, this one is still my favorite. Just a normal kind of vibrating dildo style. Oh, it's nothing special. I've had it. How many years have I had this? I don't know. I don't have the receipt anymore. It's been a while. I've had it for a long time. It's nothing special. It's like a plain pink rubber. It has double-A batteries. It's not even. Okay, so while you're doing this, you have had plenty of vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms. Yes. Okay. Do you get anal orgasms? Yes. Okay. Yes. If I don't get them directly. I'm asking for everybody who else is listening. Well, here's the thing. It's usually in conjunction with something else. Like, I'll have great anal orgasms, but usually there's clitoral stimulation going on at the same time. Okay. Because I've seen you being fucked by a guy just anally. And I rub against his, like, sometimes I'll have, like, nubs, like, on his. Okay. See, that part. I don't see, so okay. I was with one gentleman. I'm thinking the one gentleman who we haven't shot with in a long time. Yeah. I know who you mean. Okay. Well, he had like nubs. Okay. He had shaved, but he had like just little nubs, and actually those were great. You had anal orgasms on his cock, like in one fuck session like two, three times. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. The thing is with that, and I kept saying, it's like when I'm fucking him anally, there's. getting fucked anally by him. You're not fucking him anally. Okay, you can put it that way. I thought I was fucking him, but okay. His dick just happened to be my ass. No, his ass was intact and his dick was in your ass. But I could still be fucking him. I guess. In a way. I took control. Tomato, tomato. Anyway, he was fucking me anally, but his pubic hair had just a little roughness to it. Okay. And it rubbed against my clit, which I was having clitoral orgasms in addition. to the anal orgasms or one fed the other. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I had orgasms and lots of them. I had like five. Now, how different is an anal orgasm over a quatorial or vaginal? Is it a different sensation? Probably somewhat because the... I mean, as a man, I mean, I've only ever had cock... Oh, come on, honey. Let's just... Let's just try this. Come on, you know you won. Where's my mace? Don't make me get the taser out again. I know you like that. I do. Hold on, I slide this bad boy right in. There you go. Jesus Christ, I didn't even hesitate. No, no, this one works well. I think we can find Jimmy Hoffman there. Oh, come on. Yeah, it goes pretty well. Yeah. It slides in easily. So what you're basically saying is once the woman or person finds a comfortable size. Yeah. I start small. It might pay them to find a toy that is very comfortable. And then maybe they can practice on their own and become comfortable. with that size in their ass. Yeah. So then when they add flesh to it, it's a little easier? Well, yeah, because flesh just slides in and grabs more. So I suggest lots of loops. And for God's sakes, don't use anal ease. Do not use anal ease because the problem with that is, and you know what that is, the dick that is going in your ass also becomes numb and they'll never be able to come. So guess what? What could have taken 15 minutes? If there's any new products, we don't know. It's been years. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's a good point. Yeah, that's a good point. In all fairness, I don't know if Analyze has changed, if it's even a product. It is. The old Analyze, I don't know. It numbed everything. You can't feel anything down there. What was the other one they used to use? Marilyn Chambers. The late, great Marilyn Chambers talked about it in a talk show one time. Oh, did she really? How they would use, something they use on your gums. Oh. Oh. Yeah, if you had toothache, you'd rub it on you. Yeah, yeah. Ambosol. Ambosol. They would use ambosol to keep guys from coming too quickly. Oh, there you go. And the problem is, they would put it on there. Not only would they not come, but it would make the girl's pussy completely numb. Numb. So now they're fucking and fucking. It's like, okay, two hours later, it's like, all right, you know. Yeah. Yeah, it kind of deadens the whole thing. That's the problem. So, but again, if you can get your significant other. Mm-hmm. Maybe a toy that they could play with on their own, practice, get comfortable with. It could help the whole process. Yeah. And, you know, start, maybe start smaller, especially if they're very intimidated by it. Don't be, don't be. They might want to start solo without you around. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Just so they can, like, okay, what is this, how's this going to feel? Because they're, from what I've been told, like I said, that there's a, some people express that you feel like you're going to shit yourself. Yeah, I get a, even with this one, because I'm not as fired up as I could be. What? I'm not doing it for you? No, hon, you're doing it for me just fine. Wow, you're really doing it for me. I'm not selling it. You're really doing how to sell it. No, because I'm not like in that, you know, with other people. There is that slight burning. I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. Oh, you poor baby. I'll suck you. That's all right. I'll make you feel better. You're right. There is that slight burning sensation that you get. I don't get the. Don't know it. Go ahead. I don't get the I have to defecate sensation. and get that burny sensation, which does go away over time. Yeah, but again, it's been a lot of years since you started doing anal. Yeah. And again, everyone is different. Everyone's different. Yeah. The burning sensation might be part of it too for people because they're getting stretched out a little more than they're used to. Sure. I mean, I can only relate to that burning sensation like, sorry about this. Are you going to get graphic on us? You get one of those turds that feels like it's coming out sideways, man. We've all had that. Oh, yeah. It's like, no, no, other direction, other direction. Turn 90 degrees. You know, you sit here and go, it's like, now I know I'm not gay. That was not fun at all. I felt like I was giving birth. I was going through the breathing exercise. I was waiting to pick the turd out of the toilet and slap it so it would breathe. Yes, seriously. Oh. I've raised it since a baby turd. This one's about the same size. Yeah, they're about the same size. Doesn't matter. But the same thing. No, that one's got like a little catoral stimulator too. Yeah, but I'll put it the other way. And again, you can put that in your vaginal and just tease your asshole with that little spike or whatever you want to call it. Yeah, it's like a generic rabbit type of thing. It has a little growth. It's like a crock with a bad fucking zit. It has a tumor on it. But yeah, I mean, yeah, there's all kinds of, there's no wrong way to use them, really. Yeah, the same. But yeah, you could, you know, put this in your, I could put it in my pussy and then turn it around so it kind of, like, teases my asshole, which is kind of cool. Sure. Or spunk glue. I was like thinking, I probably don't even need any spunk glue, I can just slide it right in. Yeah, you've got enough in there already. Yeah, I'm already. Yeah, you're spunked up. I'm already spunked up, so I'm good. Yeah, that's not too bad. Let's say you want to turn around the other way. But you could put that in your vaginal hole and then just use that. Yeah, actually, this fits better. For a woman beginning, she could actually tease, put that in her pussy and then use the little thing to tease her asshole to get it ready. Kind of like this kind of a thing. Yeah, see, I can't see from my seat, but that's fine. That's fine, that's good. Yep, hello. It doesn't give you as much sensation as you probably need. But again, I'm talking for someone who's trying to ease into anal. That's really easing in because this would need to be this little growth on here, the little tumor needs to be longer. Well, there's so many variations of everything. Yeah, so get a rabbit that has a little longer clitoral stimulation part and then just switched around. Or anal. No. It could be either one. Well, yeah, but it's meant, generally, It just needs a longer one, that's all. And that'll be fine. That works well. Yeah. That works okay. And then there's no way this is ever going in my ass, this big one. Tell yourself that. What? I brought it out just as a joke. Wait, I got some of my hair stuck on it. Damn it, Donna. Stupid hair is all to everything. I shed worse than a golden retriever. I do. It's like, good Lord, where does hair come from? Definitely not mine. No, definitely not yours. It's mine. I swear it's mine. But yeah, it's like, I don't think, I don't think I'd want this on my ass. I don't know. Do you think it would fit? I think so. You think? I've seen guys that big go in your ass. No, there's no way skin is different than rubber. Come on. I'm not arguing that. Well. Are you going to give it the college try? Yeah, I'm going to give it the college try. I don't think I'm going to be very happy with it, but. You don't know. You don't know. I might be like, hey. Well, if this vibrated, I would like it better. Oh, sure. Vibration. It always helps with any kind of... Well, it's extra stimulation. Yep, exactly. I need all the stimulation I can get because God knows I don't get it from my husband. I mean, I love you, dear. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Please turn your... Wait a minute. Oh, that turned your mic off. I'm sorry. You turned off a whole lot of things. Welcome to my world. I don't know if this is going to fit, so I'm trying. Let's see here. It's slippery. Duh. Oh, wrong hole. Slid into the wrong hole. Ow, it's really slippery. Ow, it's slippery? Yeah. Okay, it's a right hole. Yeah, I'm not liking it, but there it goes. It's in. Turn your ass more towards the camera. Okay, hold on. How about that? There you go. Yeah, I'm not liking it. Not comfortable? No, not at all. Okay. Yowza. I wish it was comfortable. That would be great. Yeah, if you tried something with clitoral stimulation while you did that. I need another hand. Well, I'm just taking a hold of yourself up. All right. Yeah, I got it like halfway in. You can feel it stretch. I understand why people are intimidated and shy away from your anal because you feel that stretching. I mean, I have control over it. It's not comfortable. It can be. It can be. is very taboo. Oh, yeah. It's absolutely taboo. You know? And, you know, it's, you know, some people think that, you know, there are some people that, and they, obviously, they don't listen to this podcast. But, you know, they're like, oh, my God, that's slutty. Oh, my God, whatever. But I know people, we've met people that's like, fuck yeah, man, I'm all about anal. Oh, yeah. You know, the one nice thing about anal is you don't have to worry about getting knocked up. That's true, too. Well, isn't that the vestal virgins back in Greece were supposed to be all, they did all anal just for that reason? I guess I wasn't around then. Oh, neither was I, but that's always been the myth, you know. Very well could have been. Isn't that why they call, you know, Greek is synonymous with anal sex because of the vestal virgins? I didn't know where it came from. I just figured the bathhouses, they were all fucking each other in the ass. No, it was vestal virgins. The virgins had to be virgin, but they didn't say what part of them had to be virgin. and their asses were as wide as a fucking baseball bat. Well, they didn't have toilet paper. That way the turrets just fell out. They didn't have to worry about it. I don't know if that's true. I could be totally wrong. My history could be totally messed up, but that's what I always, you know, they always make reference to that, you know, that the virgins had anal sex. I had a friend I went to high school with that. Oh, yes. He's a great guy. Great guy. Not one of the sharpest tacks in the box. dating this beautiful Asian girl. Oh boy. Very hot. Way above his pay grade. Okay. Above my pay grade. And apparently he came to me one day because a lot of people made fun of him because he wasn't, he pushed on a pool door. Okay. Great guy though. He keeps saying great guy. I'm trying to justify what I'm about to say. And he came to me and he goes, hey, I got to ask you a question, Vince. I'm like, yeah, sure. He goes, you know, my girlfriend wants to stay a virgin. I'm like, okay. He goes, She lets me fuck her in the ass. He says, that way she keeps her virginity. I'm like, okay. Okay. He says, I can't get her pregnant there. I'm like, no, you can't. As long as it all stays in the asshole, no, you can't. It's a whole different plumbing situation. A whole different plumbing. Yeah, how many times, you know, you're fucking someone vaginally, whoa, wrong hole, means you went to the anus. Oh my God, yes, that has happened. Now if you go from the anus to the wrong hole. Stronghold, you know. But, yeah. I guess he didn't pay attention in biology or human anatomy. He didn't remember one day to the next. He's a great guy. He keeps saying that. He was. He's a guy he felt bad for. He's nice. People took advantage. He's one of the guys. People took advantage of him. Hey, Chris, can I borrow a hundred bucks? And he would go get a hundred bucks somewhere from his dad or whatever. Oh, my God. He'd give it to you. And then, It's like, hey man, you're going to pay him back? No, I don't have the money. Oh, okay. Oh, no. And more people did this. Anyway, different story. That's just wrong. That's just wrong. Yeah, but. So he thought he didn't know if he could get her pregnant if he did her in the ass. Yeah, and it was one of the few people who didn't really make fun of him and was fair to him. Right, yeah. Back when I had my cigar podcast, he always wanted to come on it and everything else. He's a good guy. So, but. Yeah, yeah. Human anatomy, it's a good thing to know. No, these are the basics. So you know where you're sticking your dick. You know what hole to put it in. It doesn't help me, but okay. No, it doesn't help you at all, dear. I draw you pictures, videos. I got pointers. It's like, you know, got the X's and the O's going. You give me a fucking step-by-step list. One, two, three. Then you put numbers. This is one. This is two. You know, hey, tab A into hole B. I still get lost. I know. I get my numbers, my letters confused. It's awful. I don't know. I don't know. I'm working at it. I have a giant whiteboard in front of the bed. Here we go. I'll show my age. I've seen the film strip. Oh, the film strip. Oh, God. I've seen the overhead projector. Oh, my God. I haven't thought about an overhead projector in years. With the flaps. Yeah, on top of that one. Yeah, we're showing our age here in case you're younger. Do yourself a favor. Go look up on the internet. Overhead projector. Overhead projector. The film strips. The film strips. Well. Which was basically a photo slideshow through a projector that you had to turn a dial to go one picture at a time. Is that what a film strip was? Yeah, remember a film strip? You would feed them through the projector. Yeah. And a dial. Someone had to sit there. Like they would have a cassette tape player. Oh, yeah. That's right. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, the boop. Yeah, the boop. Boop. Yeah, turn it. Yeah. It wasn't even a freaking video. or a film. It actually had to turn it. Well, back then, the 8mm projectors, like you watch it. So we were watching the flight of the duck flying across the floor. At the end, it would flip around. It was staying too long. It wasn't Queen Audio. It was just like, oh, it was terrible. It was like, well, Ezra and South Florida. It's like, Ezra and South Florida. And that's how they taught. Like, I remember watching videos of, you know, human anatomy and blah, blah, women's, you know, body parts. It's like, oh, yeah, this is really exciting. Yeah, is there any wonder why people didn't get sexuality back then? The human penis, the male penis fits in the woman's vagina. It's like, I don't know. Once the male is around, I will see a complete interaction. Yuck. pay attention, but you're listening to like, how can I take this asshole serious? I can. Oh, my God. That's too much. So our general consensus here for if you're going to. Oh, my God. If you and your significant other are going to try anal. First thing we're going to stress is. Slow and easy. Yep. Patience. Yep. You know. Slow and steady wins the race. You know, just. Put yourself in the position. If your significant other would put something in your ass, how do you want it done? Oh, how many men want to be pegged? I don't know, and I don't care. See, that's a whole other can of worms. Yeah, I don't want to go there. Well, but you've even said it yourself. There's a lot of nerve endings in your anus or in the sphincter, or however you want to put that, that are very arousing. There's a lot of them there that, you know, that it feels good. When I'm totally aroused and I have anal stimulation, it feels good. I have very strong orgasms from it. So pegging just... That's why I'm going to be anxious for you to do double penetration. Oh, I haven't done that in a while. And again, when you did it, it was an awkward thing at the time. So you weren't actually able... Because you were so amazed you were able to do it. I was so amazed. So you didn't actually get to really enjoy it. No, I don't think it was a good position to be in. I don't think I'm going to be there. The place we were into wasn't great. That old house was dirty. You were on the floor hard. No, no. I was on that chair. But it was an awkward chair. Then you guys moved to the floor to finish it. Oh, did we? I just remember being in the chair. The guy on the bottom was hurting his back. It just wasn't good. Well, here's the thing. There's a lot of logistics with double penetration. So you have to think about that. Maybe if I had a gentleman on the bottom and I have him vaginally, and then I'm on top Yeah, you were reverse cowgirling. The guy on the bottom you had in your ass, you were facing up. Yep. And the other guy was missionary. On me. Which works well too, but the problem was it was on a hardwood floor. Yeah, that didn't work out so well. Yeah. I wonder if it worked well on this futon. Sure. Do you think it'll work well? Or we could reverse it, maybe have a gentleman lay down, I climb on top of him, you know, cowgirl style, and then as I lean over, it exposes my butt. Yeah, if you were on top of a guy and the other guy came up, Which is very common, yeah. Is it? That might work. It generally only works reverse cowgirl or cowgirl. Yeah, I can't think of any other way it could work. I mean, is there a side winder type of thing that could work? Again, if you're going to try to get your significant other into it, please be patient. And lots of alcohol, lots of lube. No, not lots of alcohol. Okay, not a lot of alcohol. No, we don't want to condone anyone. No, I'm kidding. I am kidding. I'm totally kidding you I know you got the evil eye I am kidding but you do have to be relaxed however you do that so there's make sure the person you're doing it with is cognitive and willing and yes and consenting and it can be a very very enjoyable experience it really can I mean if you fuck it up it ain't gonna happen again oh yeah that's for sure so don't fuck it up don't fuck it up but also there's lots of stimulation you can do ahead of time that Yeah, no, well, the best section you're going to have is. I've got the shower head. The shower head, that, oh my God, I could come boom. I would put that on my butt. Oh, that could be dangerous, though, because the shower head is so strong. Is that the same shower head I shower in? No. Okay. That one's too high. I can't bring it down. I'm too short. Okay, good. Then we're fine. We're fine. I have not been able to masturbate in our shower because the thing is up seven feet and I can't reach it. I need a stool inside the shower so I can masturbate. This is very frustrating for me, sir. Very frustrating. I need to bring that thing down. You do use the garden hose a lot. I do, because it's at my level. Again, that's going to be another show we want to do, is household objects you can masturbate with. So keep the garden hose in mind. Keep the garden hose in mind. Keep that away from me. Anyway, so again, be patient. Be caring. Be caring. Be loving. And you'll be getting that butt. Hopefully both of you will get the benefits. Yeah, I agree. I mean, you got my butt. You married it. You married my butt? That's not, oh, you're so sweet. I just married the whole ass. The whole ass. So did I. That's awesome. So anyway. But yeah, it's definitely a work in progress. And it can definitely be, Add a whole level of eroticism to your relationship. So, you know, be patient. Work into it slowly because it is an accident. It's not meant to be penetrated. It's just not meant that way. Yeah, I guess. Oh, definitely. Yeah. But it's worth the wait. Well, and be considerate of the person you're with. Yeah, because they can put a strap on and go after you. Well, yeah, you gotta sleep sometime. They could be after you, too. So there you go. So be careful. Rufy's works both ways. No, I'm just kidding. So anyway. So again, I want to thank everyone for listening. Yes, thank you, guys. Thanks for listening. Again, if you listen to us on Apple Podcasts or one of many others, I'm going to ask you to do us a favor and follow us. Show us a little love. Yeah, just follow us, throw us a like, share us, whatever, you know, if you enjoy the show. Unless you're really embarrassed. Tell one person that, you know, you've got to check out this podcast. Yes, we'd really appreciate it. The numbers keep growing. We really appreciate it. Love it. Hope we keep you not only entertained, informed, and titillated. I am. Yeah. So, all right. I want to thank you. I don't know about educational. We're not even going to go there. Informative. We're informing them we're assholes. Oh, there you go. So. And that just goes along with. We're informing them we know nothing. We know nothing about. We're not doctors. We don't even play them on porn movies. No, but we sure have a lot of fun just experimenting with things and finding out what works and what doesn't work. That's all we're doing. We're just conveying our experiences. That's all we do. We don't claim to know anything and no one will tell you we do. I'm not a single person. All right. So again, thank you. Yes, thank you and have a great night.