Exploring the Intricacies of Penis Shapes

Transcript

Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now, let's heat things up. Hello, everybody. This is Donna Lynn, and welcome to my Hot Wife podcast. Of course, I'm here with the brains behind the whole operation, my wonderful husband, Vince. Right, Vince? Wow, I finally get credit for this. I give you credit every time you ask. You do. Yeah, he's definitely the driving force of this one. In fact, he's the one that even came up with tonight's topic, which we'll get to in a minute. Yeah. I guess I'll take credit for it. Is that something you have an absolute interest in? No, I just, I told you how I came up with it. Right, but. Yeah, it was different people contacting us through the Swinger site, including cock pictures. Always dick pics. It's like, okay, here's a topic. Because every time we open up, you know, the quote mail, there's dick pics. It's like, guys, It's more to you than just your dick. I like responding back to the people, the guys who write in. It's like, oh, you're so gorgeous. I'm like, well, thank you very much. But I actually think my wife is hotter. That's funny. I wonder how they take that. They forget that it's a couple's profile. It's a couple. So they, you know. You might want to pretend like you're talking to you. If you want to address it, like, I just want to share with you, I think your wife, you know. Or the wife. The wife in the group is, you know, whatever. The wife in the group. I'm doing 10 things back here. I'm sure you are. Yeah, you're multitasking. Yeah, you told me I'm the brain, but I can't prove that. Well, I think you are. You're fine. Whatever. You're fine. But tonight's topic, due to what I have seen. I can't unsee. Yeah, I've been in therapy for and smacking my head into cinder blocks. Is? Penis shapes, cock shapes. Or how did I text you the topic? Pee-pee shapes. I was like, pee-pee shapes? What the hell does that mean? I think I've drawn animals with my piss in the snow. You texted me like, hey, how about Chinese for dinner? And then after that, I was like, pee-pee shapes. I'm like, what the fuck does pee-pee shapes have to do with... Well, you've heard of poo-poo platters. Oh, true. So pee-pee shapes could be a... It depends on the restaurant. It could be an item. I don't know, but it wasn't. I could not make, I did not know what you were referring to, how that connected, nothing. It was like, there's a whole, it was totally disjointed. I'm like, so tonight when I, when I asked you, what does pee pee shapes be? And you're like, oh, that's tonight's topic for the podcast. I was like, oh. The other night I had mentioned it to you that it's like, yeah, you know, this one guy, you know, had a very mushroom head. Yeah. It looks like a told story. The head is so big, but the shaft is smaller? Or was it pretty girthy too? It kind of went up, flared out a little, came back in. It kind of looked like a goddamn mushroom. But then it had the bigger head that you could, like an umbrella. Yeah, that's interesting. So it's the various shapes. Let's go over them. And then I want to hear, your like or dislike or indifference. Okay. Okay. So obviously you have the guys who bend in different directions. Oh, wow. Yeah. They're, yeah. It's like most guys when they're, they just standing like, and they have an erection, it naturally bows up a little bit. Not a lot, but it naturally, you know. Tends to. Most people tend to. Yeah. Tends to arch up. It might, it might like swing to the right. or swing to the left. That's not a problem. But if you think of it as a, with a woman's anatomy, you know, it kind of, if she's laying, let's pretend that they're doing missionary. The way that his penis is arched, it will slide right into, you know, her vagina. Vagina. As it were. Now, how much of a bummer would it be if you had an erection, but it bent down, so it looked like you were soft? There was one guy I played with, I remember distinctly, that his bent the wrong way. Oh, did it? Went down? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was awful. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, it was not comfortable. Now, that said. You should just fuck on doing a handstand. No, no. You know what it worked well for was reverse cowgirl. Okay. Because now you're going the opposite direction. Yeah, and that'll rub your G-spot, yeah. Yeah, so that was better, but yeah, like, that hurt. And it wasn't his fault, but it was just not a good, not good, because, you know, my, My hole is going one way and his shaft is going the other. So he's like banging on things that don't really get banged on. That's my pelvis. Yeah, it was really uncomfortable. That's up and down. How about side to side? Does that make a difference for you? It depends. There was a guy that I played with that had like a really small penis head and then it just ballooned. I'll make you ask his name is Vince. No, no. But his, like, shaft was like, I mean, he was really thick. But the head was really small in comparison to the shaft and length of his cock. So that was weird. The head was smaller than the penis, huh? Yeah, the head started out real small and then, like, blossomed out. Yeah, okay, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, it just, like, it's, like, aerodynamic. It just kind of fits. Yeah, yeah. It's just, like, one line, yeah. Yeah, pretty much. That was interesting. Again, he was just too thick for me. I was just, you know, have to, I need to, I need a little more, I need spunk lube in those circumstances. Let's just, let's just say what it is. Check out spunklube.com. They're still friends of ours, so. Absolutely. And yeah, for him, I remember putting on lots of spunk lube. There have been a couple guys that I, yeah, you gotta, it just wasn't going in because they were just so thick, you know. And usually guys with these big dicks have teeny tiny little balls. It's like, what the heck? You'd think that they would be, you know, in comparison. I don't know. There's all different shapes and sizes and they're all different. You know, then there's the guys that have like a rounded penis head. It's not really to a point. And it's almost like- Or you have the ones that are at a point. Yeah. Like an arrow. Like an arrow. Yep. That's different too. Yeah, but okay, back to what you were saying. Yeah, but the one guy had like, it was like rounded. It almost looked more like an old-fashioned vibrator, that kind of a shape, that kind of a bullet. The old white ones? The old white ones. Yeah. The teeth chippers? The teeth chippers, yeah. Exactly. So, yeah. But that was weird because there wasn't that much definition between the head and the penis. Now, I can't remember if this particular person was circumcised Attraction? Gosh, I don't know. It doesn't feel any different. It's just when you're sucking on, there's a lot more play. Well, it's insane, but now all of a sudden with insertion, you know, he's got that loose skin kind of using that. It's possible, but usually guys that are uncircumcised, not always, just in my experience now, let's preface it by saying that, that usually guys, like once they get hard, even, the skin under it is far more sensitive. You don't get that, I'll call it callusing, but it's not. But that, you know, the skin gets a little less delicate. Right, right. Rub it against your underwear and shit like that. But when you have the foreskin protecting it, it was very, again, I was too young to have sex or know what sex was. Right. I can only imagine guys that, I mean, interesting statistic is, is, do guys who are uncircumcised last as long? I don't know. It's certainly going to be more... I think it'd be more sensitive to some degree. Yeah, if they're more sensitive, they might... But again, you have that skin coming back that could actually take away some of the traction you need for stimuli. Good point. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either. I don't know. Okay. Yeah. So back to shapes. Okay, went to the bullet shape. There's also... I don't see it too often, although I did date a guy whose penis went the opposite direction. It went from... Went into him? He's an innie like me? No, no. I called him Betty. No, actually, his cock head was pretty big, and then it went to a... It actually started out big, but actually became... It came smaller as it got to his shaft. It was like backwards. Wow. A little bit. Tapered that way. Wow. It tapered thinner as it got back to his shaft. Not drastically. He made fun of it all the time. He goes, look, my dick's got, look, what the fuck's going on with my dick? He goes, you know, my head's like a normal size. And then it just, ever so slightly, it gets smaller and smaller, like thinner and like burst and everything. But that's not the part you're getting any feeling from anyway. Exactly. You know, it's like, dude, it gave you extra length and just thinned out. And thinned out. Shut the fuck up. Maybe he's rolling it instead of jerking it off. Yeah, jerk off this way, not that way. But that was kind of weird. There's always the guys that bend to the left or bend to the right drastically. And it's probably more of a nuisance for them because if they're trying to put it in a hole and it's bending, it's going all over the place. It's bending this way or that way. It's like, ah, I have to be on my side to fuck, to get it into any hole because that's the way my dick's going. Like fucking with a curveball. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know what guys do. They straighten it out before they put it in. Yeah, I'm guessing they kind of wrestle it down with one hand and tell it where they want it to go. Yeah, so that would be interesting. And you have the guys with the small balls. You have the guys with the big balls. Big balls. Like the guy that I just had sex with fairly recently that was real thick and girthy. Beer Can? Mr. Beer Can, yeah. Does he have big balls? Yeah. I didn't pay attention. Oh. I did. I was like, God damn, big balls. Well, I have big balls, too. I think that these were, maybe because it was a hot summer night, you know, because there was a lot of play in there. I mean, there was like two beach balls in there fighting it out, you know? Oh, yeah, that's it. When a guy's is warm. It's going to be a little warm. Yeah, you add a little, you know, coolness to the air. They tighten up and pull up, yeah. But yeah, that was interesting. His cock's a pretty interesting shape. I mean, the fact that it's so thick. He's another one. The head's a little bit smaller, and as it goes to the meat of the shaft, it really gets thick. Now, where would you rather have the girth? In the head of the cock or in the shaft? Hmm. I think the shaft might be a little easier. Like if it's in the head and that might be hard getting it in. I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes he's pretty difficult to ride because he is so thick. And if I haven't been with him in a while, I have to like re-stretch out my pussy again. And asshole. And asshole. Yeah. The day before he was supposed to come over that night, I had my butt plug in all day long. Because, you know, the butt plug's just not big enough. It's just not big enough. I'm sorry. Do they make a bigger butt plug? Oh, they do. They make some that are fists. Oh, that's right. They do. We were going to buy one as a gag gift. It's 50 bucks. We're like, uh, no. Isn't that a funny joke? It's not that funny. Actually, I think it was like 75, to tell you the truth. Was it that expensive? That's expensive, but we're like, ah, the joke's not that funny. Or something we're just going to throw away. Yeah. Oh, no, I wouldn't throw it away. I wouldn't use it, but I might keep it around just for gags. Oh, yeah, put it on the mantle. People come over, oh, that's a gag gift. Sure it is. Sure it is. Don't smell it. Why is there a shit ring around the fucking elbow? Oh, you had to go there, didn't you? Of course. It's a podcast. I can say what I want. That's the problem. You do. Oh, my God. So of all the different penises, what do you think is the one that feels the best for you? Well, they all kind of, except that they're too thick or too long. I know it boils down to what they're attached to. Yeah, it does. It really does. Yeah, once it's in you, they all kind of, unless they're really long, I can't speak to it, so I'm relying on you, so. Yeah, relying on you. Like, I would think. Right. Like, the bigger head, like the mushroom head kind of things would actually, I would assume that would feel better than, like, the average. Well, one of your friends I played with, he was, he had more of a mushroomy cock, I can't tell the difference. You can tell when you're sucking them, obviously, but not so much when it's inside. Not so much. It might be minor nuances, but again, it all has to do with what they're attached to more than anything. Unless they're, like I said, too long or way too wide, then it all pretty much feels real similar. You know, there's not that much. I mean, it's kind of like the difference between fucking a woman in her pussy and fucking a woman in her ass. Can you really tell the difference? Not if they're willing. Not if they're willing. Okay. I had to go there. You have been, I have heard a few times, wrong hole, wrong hole. So I think there's a difference there. Okay, that aspect, yes, there's definitely, But I mean, for you, if they're compliant with that. I think the only real difference between vaginal and anal in general is the quote-unquote taboo-ness of fucking women. Can you really feel the difference between a vagina and a... I mean, maybe the... Anus might be more tight. Yeah, unless it's somebody who, for whatever reason, is very loose, like they had a lot of kids or whatever, and then you're slopping around in there. Slopping around. And then all of a sudden you put it in their ass, and it's like all of a sudden, it's like, whoa. It's like putting on a turtleneck all of a sudden. It's like, wow, that's tight. But I think the more exciting part of anal is just that taboo-ness of it. Yeah, you're not supposed to be going in there. It's an exit only. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. Well, just as a quick aside, I mean with the guy with that big beer can dick, actually it was easier getting it in my ass than in my pussy. Okay. Because I just felt like there was like a, either a muscular ring or it could have even been like my pubic bone or something in the way. And every time he tried to go past that, it was really not comfortable. Not comfortable at all. But as soon as he went in the back door, you know, it was fine because, you know, there's not, there's more room back there. You know, there's just more room. The backyard's bigger. The backyard's bigger. There's not so much muscle to clamp, you know, because it is an exit I don't need to worry about. You don't need to worry about being real muscular back there, so it was a little more giving. And actually, the anal was fine. I didn't have a problem with that. Okay. Good to know. Yeah. Just a little. I'm still not letting them fuck me in my ass. Okay. Matter of fact, I'm not with any guy. Well, there you go. That's me. There you go. I'm trying to think of more penis shapes. I mean, God knows it's like I've been with so many, you know, different like. Blue moons. What's that? Blue moons. Green clovers. Not those kind of shapes. Oh, okay. Shooting stars. They're magically delicious. Dicks are for chicks. That's another cereal. You're mixing the cereals. You cannot mix cereals. Oh. All right. You can mix a lot of things. Now you tell me. Yeah. Bruce Jenner makes cereals. Even from Wheaties to Froot Loops. Froot Loops. He's entitled. Whatever he wants to do. Hey, man, he owns it. God bless him. You know, that's awesome for him. That is. So, yeah. I mean, you know, There's not pussy shapes. I mean, there's... Oh, well, there's pussy lips, you know, whether you have big lips or small lips. I like them all, but I really have my dithers. I like the big, meaty lips. Yeah, I enjoy meatier lips, too. Yeah. I'll take any of them, you know, as long as they're attached to a real woman. The thing that I think is weird when I was with... I don't know, I think we were... The one girl with the big, the clit that was as As big as my thumb. Yeah. It almost looked like a little penis. Rhonda. Rhonda, yeah. I don't know if I can. No one knows who she is. Yeah, I don't think so either. I'm not sure she's alive anymore. But she had a. She had cancer really bad last I heard. Yeah. And I think that's why her clit was that big. Yeah, she was on all sorts of steroids and stuff. Steroids and this and that. Cancer, yeah. And her clit really did look like a little mini penis. It hung better than I was. I mean, except as big as my thumb. That thing was bigger than my cock. Shut up, it was not, you liar. But it was interesting. It was fun to suck on. I didn't get to. That's back when I was still married. I was wondering about that. I thought that you had a role of her. I wanted to. On the back of my head, I was crawling inside of that thing. I'm sure you were. Yeah, she was fun. She was a super person. She was a lot of fun. I heard she was battling cancer very badly. They had moved to Virginia. The last time I talked to her was 15 years ago. Yeah, she was in bad shape. I hope she's still alive. God bless her, she is. Because she had a really interesting vagina. Oh, yeah. Very interesting. But as far as penis shapes go, I mean, you have the big head, small shaft, you know, small head, larger shaft, and then you have some that go from big at the head and narrow at the root to the other way around. small head that goes bigger at the root. And then the curving up, curving, you know, the reverse curve, the curve down. That's a weird one. Of course, you have the guys that either go to the left or go to the right. You know, there's all of that. You have them uncircumcised and circumcised. So there's all kinds of different shapes and lengths. You know, girth. Length is a whole different issue. And what's that? Length is a whole different issue. Oh, that is a whole different issue. I mean, not that men can control the shape, length, or everything else, but okay. Yeah, some of the longer cocks are, well, for me, not so comfortable because I'm just a tiny person. There's only so much room in there. You know, I'm 4'11". You can't put five pounds in that two-pound bag. Yeah, exactly. It's not going to go well. And guys try, and it just doesn't go. Oh, wow. And I keep telling them, you can't keep hitting the back wall because that doesn't feel so great. I hate to tell you. And they just keep trying to, you know, get more in there. And it's like, you can't. There's, there's. I think, you know, women have drummed into men that, oh, size matters. You know, so guys think if you have a big dick, okay, size matters. So I've got to put all 10 inches of my cock in her, even though she's only, you know, four foot tall. Some women can handle it, but not this woman. It's just not going. But in general, it's like, you know, so, but what they don't all realize is for both the man and the woman, the first inch to two inches tops of the inside of a woman's pussy and the head of a man's penis, that's where all the feeling is. Yeah, that's what I always heard, too. I don't know if that's true, but that's where, that's, yeah, for me. I mean, every once in a while, sometimes if they go in a little bit, If I'm really, you know, revved up, then, yeah, that does feel good. Oh, it's like when I'm eating your pussy and I put a finger in there. Yeah. There's times I have to stay in the very front, and then there's times that, like, you know, I could feel the bottom of your heart. Yeah, almost. Yeah. But I'm also giving you physical... Yeah, triggers. Triggers that you know that, you know, if I'm grinding on your finger or whatever, then you know you can go in deeper. When your pussy juice is running down my hand, it's like, oh, I think she won't. She wants a little more? I think she wants, I might even say more. Yeah. You know, but usually you know my body enough that you know what I'm ready. I try to. And keep trying, you know, that's so nice. I'm trying. You're trying to know my body. Yeah. I might need to study some more. I'm an open book. But after 10 o'clock it closes and goes to search. Yeah. The book gets tired. The book has to get checked back in. It's an overdue book at that point. It's overdue. Well, that is true. That is true. And the library goes silent. Shh. No speaking. Yeah. No, no talking. Just go to sleep. All right. So do you think we covered pee-pee shapes? Do you think there's more? I don't, you know. Oh, I know. Somebody else. Is there another shape you had? No, but there's another attribute of the. Quirkscrew? Interesting. No, veiny. One of our listeners would text, and he texts a picture of, you know, a big veiny dick. And I'm like, I don't, again, I can't feel the difference between a veiny dick and a not as veiny dick. No, I think a veiny dick comes more into a visual. Yeah, definitely from a visual. And maybe even a visual or whatever, like if you're giving oral. Maybe. I guess I have not had that. many veiny dicks that I could think of. I don't know. Maybe one or two had like maybe a large weird vein on it, you know, but nothing to write home about. It wasn't like it gave you like, you know, it was like a French tickler or something like that, that all kinds of ridges. It's a pure visual stimulation. Yeah, it's purely visual because the veins, like once you touch them, they're soft, you know, they're not, they're pliable. Soft is a bad word to use. They're pliable. Okay, here's a question for me. Okay, you have a question? So, let's pretend we're in some kind of swinger gathering. Okay. And you're sitting there, and just across, away from you, there's a guy, good-looking gentleman, good shape, sitting there, you know, bare-ass naked, yeah? Okay. What you would define as, let's say, good-looking cock and everything. just like look him up and down you look at him in the face you're just gonna really just and he's not even addressing you doesn't see what you're doing are you staring at his cock are you taking it all in or you just look at his face or not even looking like you look make a mental note move on to conversation with everybody else I might take a glance down there I'm again I'm not one that like oh look at that cock you know I gotta have that it's it's again it's what it's attached to sure you know he could have all you know any kind of appendage down there that may or may not be to my liking, but if it's attached to a decent person, I'm certainly not going to rule anything out. If he's a jerk, I don't care how nice his dick is. No, I'm saying it doesn't even play. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying it's like, you know, we'll go back to the old Pam Anderson. Okay. Okay? Not that she isn't still stunning. Right. But I'm saying, so if the average man, sitting there, even without their spouse or whatever, so you don't have to worry about someone getting upset. Pam Anderson is standing there talking to someone. She's bare-ass naked. Now, I'm just using her as an example, not that it would be Pam Anderson. You're like, oh my God, that's Pam Anderson. Oh my God, don't mind. Here's this beautiful woman that represents someone like her, and she's bare-ass naked with that body. The average man is going to sit there and just He can do everything he can to spend as many seconds, minutes as he can taking every inch into his head and salivate about it. That's what men do. Well, men are more visual creatures, and I am a visual creeper. You're a creeper? I'm a creeper. You're a visual creeper? A creature. I'm a creeper, too, to some degree, but I'm more interested in the face. Chest. Okay. You know. Then how do we wind up together? I don't know. Oh, incriminating pictures. Ah, incriminating pictures. That's exactly, that's exactly how we got together and why we had to get together. Yeah. Too many incriminating pictures. Got me pregnant, so we had to get married. We had to. You were, you were showing. I told you I'm not on protection, but you still fucked me. I know. Knocked me up. I did. You could have said no, but you didn't. Well. You had a certain Oh, I would say I just, you know, pulled you into me Yeah, just stirred me in Yeah, but I just seduced you That's it All right So with that said Info at hotwifepodcast.com If we missed a shape that's your favorite and penises let us know Or if your penis is that shape and we missed it I didn't go over square Don't need visual proof Do not We do not need visual proof Like, I didn't go over like, there was no such thing as like a square cock or a triangle one, so I didn't. That's just an industrial accident. It must be. That would not, wouldn't be good either way. Oh, you don't know that. I, you're right, I don't know that. I just, I would not think an industrial accident would be a good outcome. No, you know, no, you know. But, um. So if you want to see what dick shapes I'm fucking, you can, you can, Follow me at hotwifedonnalyn.com, and I'm posting stuff quite frequently now. Okay. Especially Mr. Beer Can. Check out the newest issue of 50shadesofpleasure.com. It's free. Pretty good magazine. Probably the best one I've ever laid out. Yeah, you've been real happy with it. So check it out. And did I mention it's free? And so info at hotwifedonnalyn.com. Wife Podcast. You want to reach out to us, share thoughts, comments, whatever. Love to hear from you. And again, thanks everyone. No, PP Shake. Thanks everyone for listening. We really do appreciate it. And so with that, stay horny. Have a good night, everybody.