In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, hosts Donna Lynn and Vince delve into the concept of 'free use' within the swinging lifestyle. They discuss their personal experiences, the importance of consent and trust, and how to navigate relationships while setting boundaries. The conversation emphasizes the need for open dialogue between partners and the significance of understanding one's comfort levels. Additionally, they provide resources for those interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle further.TakeawaysFree use is a concept that varies between couples.Setting boundaries is crucial in free use arrangements.Consent and trust are foundational in swinging relationships.Communication is key to navigating free use dynamics.Free use can overlap with the hot wife experience.It's important to know and trust the people involved.The hosts share personal experiences with free use.Resources are available for those interested in the swinging lifestyle.The conversation encourages listeners to explore their desires safely.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. Now let's heat things up. hello everybody this is donna lynn and welcome to my hot wife podcast and of course i'm accompanied by my wonderful husband vince once again can't promise next time i might have another you might boyfriend or whatever you never know you know i wouldn't have me gotta mix it up a little bit sure that's what swinging is all about it's exactly what it's about. Without just having fun. Just having fun. Speaker2: Absolutely. Speaker1: So, again, start off with just giving out the email. Oh, yeah. Info at hotwifepodcast.com. Look forward to hearing from you. Let us know anything you want to have us talk about, questions, questions you want us to talk about, you know, even complaints. Speaker2: We'll take it all. Yeah. Well, you'll take it all. I'm selective. Hey, wait a minute here. He's got to be cute and I got to be drunk. I think there's a lot more to it. Yeah, there's a lot. I can't get that drunk. but anyway, so today's topic is something we've touched on before. I think we kind of did a show roughly on it or mentioned it or whatever, but we're going to re-explore it because tomorrow night we're going out to dinner with a dear old friend. Right. He is now a widower. Exactly. His wife, and they weren't really swingers. She was actually at one time a big name porn star. Mm-hmm. And she has passed. He's a mature gentleman, older than us. Right, exactly. And we still stay good friends with him. Mm-hmm. And we're going to go out to dinner with him tomorrow night. He's invited us out for dinner, so it'll be nice. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to it. It'll be fun. Yeah, it's always nice. You know, two times, three times a year we see him. But we're going to pose a question to him. Yep. And the question is going to be, Speaker1: we're going to discuss the whole topic of free use. Yep. Now we've had a couple other playmates that we've given the free use qualifications. Speaker2: Privilege. Speaker1: I guess it would be a privilege. And let me just maybe back up a little bit and just explain our version of free use. Speaker2: Well,
Speaker1:
that's going to be where the conversation is going.
Speaker2:
exactly. Yeah.
Speaker1:
So tomorrow you're going to,
Speaker2:
at dinner, we'll, We'll see it to him. Right. And it doesn't have to be a sexual thing. We're not sure where he stands with ability or interest in that. Right, exactly. But I have no doubt that he would not have interest in part of the free uses if he would just want to go out to dinner with you. Right. Exactly.
Speaker1:
You know,
Speaker2:
but like I said, we've given this privilege to other people and it, it's,
Speaker1:
I think it was a little bit awkward for them.
Speaker2:
A couple of them. Yeah. I, we gave it to, well,
Speaker1:
your, your best buddy. It was free use.
Speaker2:
And we were like, Hey,
Speaker1:
anytime come over if you want to, you know. And he's expressed something more recently about, I need to stop over. But I'm like, you can stop over. But most of you are going to get to have a cigar with me because Donna is still recovering. I'm still, yeah. I'm still out of commission here. The shoulder still. Any position. On the mend. Yeah, any position I get in, it's real tricky. There's no sex happening. Yeah, getting out of a chair is really challenging. And her hair, she can't brush her hair well. Oh, I can't brush my hair.
Speaker2:
I can't.
Speaker1:
She's a mess. I look like a homeless person. I'm taking applications. It's like I can't put underwear on. I have to go command. Like you wear underwear anyway. Yeah, that's true. But I mean, you know, sometimes it's just doing everything one-handed is really difficult. It's a story of my life. For your use of doing things one-handed. I mean, come on. Well, if you do things two-handed, I think you'd be bragging. I would never wear pants. Yeah, you never would. But yeah, it's a real trick. It's a real trick. I've been in this stupid sling now for weeks. Month and a half. Yeah, and the last few weeks, its sling is on 24-7. Yeah, she had a setback where she got a stress fracture. Yeah, so I can't, I have to wear this. Set us back a few weeks. Four, four weeks so far.
Speaker2:
So far.
Speaker1:
We'll see what happens. It'll get better. It will get better eventually. Well, that's, yeah, has has to eventually. I would hope. God willing. Yeah. So, again, so we want to discuss the concept of free use. Sure. And we'll tell you our definition of free use. Yeah. Everybody has their own version. Well, some people don't have any definition of it. I mean, you could just sit there. Technically, you could say free use is just hot wifing. But it's a little bit beyond that. It's beyond that. It's beyond that. And we have posted to, like I said, friends of ours, and it was kind of... One of them is actually one of your playmates that you shot a video with. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And he has actually reached out to go out a couple times with just scheduling because you used to have that part-time job in the evenings. Right. That wouldn't allow you to, you know, date. Yeah, it kind of makes Thank you. actually reached out to go out a couple of times with just scheduling because you used to have that part-time job in the evenings. Right. That wouldn't allow you to, you know, date. Yeah, it kind of makes it a little more difficult. But within the confines of the free use, I mean, it's not a free for all. I mean, it depends on your parameters. You know, my biggest fear is like if you set up these parameters and it could get out of hand if people don't know the boundaries and you have to set up boundaries to start with. You have to say, okay, these are the things that we're allowed to do in the free use, how we define free use. And it's not like, you know, you're in the middle of family dinner and somebody comes banging on your door and say, Hey, I want to fuck your wife. You know, no, that's not going to happen. That's not going to happen in our universe. But I mean, but it could, if you let it get that it depends you have to develop just like swinging you have to develop your own rules so yeah you have to have your parameters and what you're comfortable working within and um usually for us like the free use is it kind of overlaps in the hot wiping like you said before so for us it's like there's a mutual consent and then there there is there's scheduling there's not just like but there's people that some of the some of them in free use it's a matter of that um it is if xyz comes over to the house and we're sitting there having dinner or whatever and he's staying and we're alone okay we're alone it's like family dinner. daughter's instead of having dinner it's thanksgiving dinner yeah you know that he could basically get up and come over and pull his dick out and you know and i mean i'm saying well i'm saying that's what you know some of it is some of it's you know not so like our level of it isn't so forward with that it's more like if they came over and stuff uh and we're hanging out on the deck you know you could hey donna come over sit here with me right exactly you know and then some kissing and petting and wherever it might go from there exactly it's not just like here's my dick you will do what i want with it that's true i don't get that level for use you know that's true i mean usually the free use is like is like the hall pass. It's like, hey, you know. It's almost like the boyfriend experience, which can be, the boyfriend experience is similar to free use. It could be, depending on how you define it. Exactly. I mean, for us, in my mind, the free use is just saying like, hey, anytime – we're always welcoming, you know, especially like the friends and my playmate. Anytime that you want to have fun with Donna, she's there. You're allowed to call her. You're allowed to call her. Yes, you're allowed. And as long as the scheduling is good and there's nothing else going on and you know and everything else the stars line up in a plan to come over and we're down in the pool and no one else is around exactly you know you could see if you know yep you're still asking permission on our level you're not just assuming right that you can go over and like you know bury three knuckles deep exactly you know exactly Exactly. I mean, so don't think free use is just like, oh, it's a free-for-all. But if that's the realm you want to play in, not you, I'm saying whoever. In general, if you want to make it so your wife is subservient to whoever you've given this privilege to. Exactly. You know, that's fine. And that might be part of the whole sub-dom world. Who knows? I mean, it could get that far, and it could delve into that realm. But for us, we keep it a little more structured. There's a little bit more permission. As an extreme, I mean, maybe not an extreme, but one of the things, let's say the fantasy of the free use could be, hey, I'm having my buddies come over. We're going to watch the game this weekend. Right. You're going to parade around naked, and whichever one of them wants to be serviced or whatever, you're there to do that. Right. Okay, again, that's a dom-sub thing, potentially. I mean, it depends how you want to define it. But again, it's a free use. My wife is going to be here for you guys to use while we hang out. Exactly. Well, I think I'm reminiscing back for the BDSM birthday party. I was kind of like free use. I was restrained. I was blindfolded. But nothing against your will. Exactly. Nothing against my will. Believe me, it was a lot of fun. And they could do whatever they wanted to do to me. I mean, within reason. I mean, I was, you know, tied up on the St. Andrews Cross. I was, you know, restrained on the spanking bench and then the massage table. Yeah, well, it took the turns fucking you. Yeah, it took turns fucking me. Then I had women climbing all over me. Time with their dick in your mouth, their hand. Yep, yep. You know, you were taking care of all three of them at one time. And then sometimes there was a woman. There was women climbing all over me. Jerking off two dicks, eating a pussy while you're getting fucked. I was really multitasking that day. But again, it was a sample of what a free use can be. Right, exactly. You were there to give and receive pleasure. Sure worked out well it was really quite a lot of fun it was very erotic i probably probably the most erotic uh i don't want to call it a gangbang but like multi-person type call an orgy orgy type orgy yeah you know a gangbang generally is like a woman with all men or a man with all women or is a gangbang. Yeah, I guess it would be more like an orgy, like a mixture of men and women. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't sure how it would be. A couple farm animals in there. No, no, we don't do that, Vince. We don't do that. Well, where did the chimpanzee come from? Oh, stop it. Oh, that was that hairy Italian guy. Never mind.
Speaker2:
Oh, my God. That's terrible. There was nobody like that there.
Speaker1:
No.
Speaker2:
But, yeah, that was probably the closest to actual free use that, I mean, people were just allowed to do whatever they wanted to do. And that was really a lot of fun. All within your comfort level and approval zone. Oh, yeah. Which is what we condone. We don't condone putting anyone through this without everyone being of consent and of aid. Yes, exactly. You want to make the whole event pleasurable and enjoyable.
Speaker1:
You don't want to be forced against you. I mean, there are fantasies that some people, them none that's a women they do like to be restrained and quote forced i'm using that's air quotes i think it's more hopefully it's more the acting like it's forced more than really being exactly because being forced truly being forced is wrong illegal yes exactly exactly so so this is not condoned by us No, no being forced, is wrong, illegal, and called rape. Yes, exactly. Exactly. So this is like— That is not condoned by us or anybody, really. No, no, but there is a—there are, like, some of the fantasies that—I don't want to call them rape fantasies, because that does sound very harsh. But a scaled-down version, a more permissible fantasy of being restrained and, you know, being, quote, forced to do things, you know, more aggressively could be part of free use. Yeah. You know, but there is that you have to find your comfort zone and you also have to know these people and trust them. There's a big trust level with this whole thing. No, we don't just hand out, you know, like get out of jail free cards. No, no, absolutely not. This is people we know and trust. Exactly. It's got to be something like we've talked about with the hot dates. It's got to be someone I can trust with you if I'm not there. Yeah, exactly. You know, so. I mean, for me, that just worked out so well. I mean, that was like the perfect birthday gift. you that was so wonderful I'm sure they would line up to do it again there's probably a few more people that would probably like to take that part of that your birthday is not until August maybe I'll be let's get your arm better I'll be better by then let us get our sex life back into a normal situation normal situation would be so nice yeah but it's something you know that
Speaker2:
Thank you. Us get our sex life back into a normal situation. Oh, yeah, normal situation would be so nice. Yeah, but it's something, you know, that, again, you have to, as a couple, weigh whether you want to do that, entertain that concept of, you know, your wife or husband, it can go that way.
Speaker1:
Sure, absolutely. You might have a play partner that I'm going to use the word fond of. Right. You know, hopefully you don't want to set them up where they're falling in love, you know, and might run away on you, but that generally doesn't happen. But, you know, make it, you know, that's a thing. Like, hey, you know, make it an interesting date night, you know, the three of you go out on a date together, you know, and he gets to have free use of your wife. That's interesting. You know? Yeah. I mean, or maybe once a month he gets a date night with your wife. You know, you go on a date night with your wife, you know, a couple times a times a month hopefully um where you know it's like hey you know the second friday of every month you know if you want you can take my wife on a date yeah absolutely i mean it's kind of a level of a free use yeah that's one level probably more mild level and if you're into it afterwards then if you feel you need to go reclaim your wife you know know, some of these guys, again, you set up your own rules, your own comfort level. A dialogue that the couple needs to have long before this free use thing comes into play. And you have to really be comfortable with, you know, the hot date situation and be very, very comfortable with the people you're allowing into your little circle of lust you know so yeah that's definitely you really have to talk about it and hash it out and figure out what's comfortable for each person you know and what your boundaries are and what what you find erotic and alluring and sexy and pleasurable and then where the line becomes, okay, that's too much for me. So you have to really be honest with yourself. It's a dialogue you need to have with your partner first. Yes, long before. And then you need to have that kind of a dialogue with the person you're getting the frees to so they understand, okay, we can play this game within these boundaries. You go outside these boundaries, we're not playing anymore. Right, exactly. Because you don't want anybody getting hurt or upset or, you know, feeling used or misused. Well, being used is, you know. Well, yeah, but you don't want to be misused. And that's probably the fear that, not with our playmates. I mean, with our playmates, I never worry about it going too far. But it could. It could. Okay, let me ask you this. Okay, as someone who has been with people that have the free use pass, I don't want to word it like it, as a woman who's been used. Used and abused. Do you find that degrading at all? No, not within the confines of our dialogue. But it could go that way. And that might be the part of- If your husband starts handing out free uses to people that you don't- Because every person that we've talked to about it, you and I have talked about it before we even talked to them. Oh, that i mean but you have to understand you have to understand your comfort level and maybe being the whole degradation might be an actual fetish so there's that aspect but you have to know that going into getting into cuckolding at that point oh and it could be it could go that far you know just depends on i mean there's a whole um spectrum that you could go through from very mild like i mean i think what we do is pretty pretty team you know i mean guys you know you might have a friend come over and you know either fuck them in front of you or blow them or you know whatever whatever goes on and i mean you could get as wild as all of a sudden the person that you've given free use to gives free use to one of his buddies. I mean, again, that's something people, you have to set up. Exactly. You know, that, you know, if theoretically you had somebody you gave free use to comes back to you and says, hey, I have a buddy of mine. He's really cool. and i you know i i'd like to watch him with your wife and maybe he and i do a threesome with your wife that's that's a discussion you guys all remember the threesome that um you arranged for me with the two bryans yeah and that was kind of a freeze i i was blindfolded i had no i was there but yes you were there but it was kind of like that way i didn't know these guys never met them before sure and it was the idea. But I was there. Yes, you were there, but it was kind of like that way. I didn't know these guys, never met them before. Sure. And the idea was, I couldn't tell because I was blindfolded, but you wanted two guys that were very similarly built. That didn't work. Yeah, but I was blinded. Somebody was using fake pictures. Yeah, but it was fine for me because I'm blindfolded. It was all good. It was all fun. You had fun. Yeah, I did. I had fun. You wound up getting a playmate there for a while. Oh, yeah. You played with him numerous times until he moved away. Yeah. One of the Bryans became a regular, pseudo-regular playmate. Yeah. He was fun. He was actually turning up. He became a good friend, too. Good friend, yep. Until he moved to a different state. That's okay. I mean, you know, we all have our lives. But, yeah, I mean, that was kind of like a pseudo-free use. I mean, I knew that was going to happen. No, or did I not know? What's that? When you got the two Bryans together. Did I know about that ahead of time? Yeah. Oh, never met them before though it was like a month later i think or less right that uh he came over christmas eve yes i mean and you guys went upstairs was it like the first time you played like solo solo was that was it him or quiet mike was the first one that you played no i guess no he was the first when you played solo without me there right yeah no quiet mike's the first time I ever actually played with anybody. Yeah. Because we went through the old videos. Those videos, they were, I mean, the quality was not great because it was, you know, 20 years ago. It was one of those old video cameras that recorded right to a small DVD desk. Oh, my God. But it was hot. I mean, it was. The video was hot. The video was hot. The quality was. Kind of foggy, but no. Yeah. Now, I mean, at the time, we're like, oh, man, this is awesome. Then you look back, and it's like, eh. You're now with the. 4K, 10K. 18K. It's out there now. What the fuck? You can see too much. Yeah, way too much, especially at my age. My God. You don't want to. I like that little blurred look. A little a little foggy look softened a bit let me put the blur filter on this a little bit of vaseline pixelation but pixelate everything but my face there you go now you can pixelate that too that might be but i mean that was that was actually kind of free use yeah well that Well, that was really the first time it was a free use when you got to go play with him by yourself upstairs. And then some years later, you went over to his house and went to dinner or lunch, whatever the hell it was. And then you guys went back and fucked for a while, apparently.
Speaker2:
Yep.
Speaker1:
Actually, they're not talking more than anything. So before we knew it was free use, we were kind of doing that. There are people who do it and probably don't know that the term is free use. Well, see, that's where the term hot wifing and freeze kind of blur because, uh, when I went to his house and we hung out and then of course played around, you know, you were not there. So that's, that's may not actually be free be reuse but it might just be hot wifing well no he had used to fuck you and oh yeah it was there's a a great line there is definitely no we're hot wifing free use kind of overlap you know it depends on whose definition yeah i don't have my my uh hot wifing dictionary handy i'll have to like look that up is there oh wait a minute you have it up on the screen is there an whose definition. Yeah, I don't have my hot wife in dictionary handy. I'll have to look that up. Wait a minute. You have it up on the screen. Is there an actual definition of what free use is? Let me go in here a minute. Oh, the forum, yeah. Hang on. And there's lifestyle definitions. We're on the Swing Lifestyle website, and they have all these tools that you can use. They like they don't have free use as in their swinger definitions oh no no but what about hot wifing do they have hot wifing i can't that's kind of hot wife right here oh there you go okay what does that say you put my glasses off yeah i'm doing the same thing a happily married woman that enjoys having sex outside the marriage with the full support of her husband. The husband is generally monogamous with his wife and may or may not watch her with other men. Oh, okay. I guess we're kind of like that. I wouldn't say that you're strictly monogamous. You're allowed to have your playmates, too. I mean, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? Yeah. I mean, that's how I look at it. Why should I have all the fun? Oh, there's swaps, swapping. Oh, wow. I mean, they're missing a lot of terms. I don't think they have to do this. We'll just have to tell them they're missing, you know, free use. Oh, I'm sure they get emails on it all the time. It's cool that there is actual, you know, definitions, you know. Swinglifestyle.com is not only a great site to meet other people in the lifestyle and everything else, but it's a great tool. It teaches you about, like I said, in the tools area, they have the lifestyle definitions. There's, where you can upload your pictures there's that's cool you can set your preferences like what do you want to see right you know um you take care of all the our profile right now i just turned off um that single men right now they can't see our profile okay because i'll turn it back on when you're feeling well but we're getting tons of emails like before right guys like oh i want to meet you i want to meet you it's like i can only type so many times my wife is recovering from shoulder replacement yeah just copy paste copy paste yep so but um there's a lot of neat things you can set up they have hot dates in here so you could sit there and say um So, but there's a lot of neat things you can set up. They have hot dates in here. So you could sit there and say, no one has one set up right now. You can sit there and say, Hey, I'm looking to meet a woman or a couple. Right. I'm going to be available in this area on this date and this time. If anyone's interested, reach out to me. The same as you can do that. You say, Hey, I'm traveling to Phoenix, Arizonaenix arizona let's say and like hey i'm going to be there from monday whatever to friday whatever exactly you know if anybody wants to meet up and people look at the hot date thing in there and they go hey you know you know we can meet him so we're not we're not exactly but check out um and again if you want just go to um hotwife podcast.com and there's a banner there you can click on that'll take you right to it and you can join and that'll throw us like five cents as an affiliate link so yeah it's a very it's a very good tool to use i mean we've been on this site for you know 20 years as i as i have our profile So here's a hot date right there. Yeah, you have hot dates. There's all kinds of— The other thing that's in here, right here, there's a whole thing with sex stories. So if you like to read sexy stories, these are all stuff written by people on the site. Interesting. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. So it's got all sorts of bondage, swinger, couple, bisexual, gangbang, anal sex, first time, romantic, voyeur, gay, milf, cuckold, exhibitionism, and a bunch more stories that you can just click on the topic, and then there's pages. And pages and pages. In this case, I just clicked on voyeur. Oh, my God. Yeah, voyeur stories. I clicked on voyeur, and there's 105 pages. Oh, my God. Of stories. Now, you can see that each story is one line on here, and you can pick on it. Oh, my God. And then that takes you to the story. And you can even see ratings. Even before you read it, you can see ratings from people of, I got it a little bit. Just, okay, the story, 5.5. How many people? Reviews and the ratings. Oh, they have a little rating. I guess it's a five. I guess it's five. Oh, so here's some four sevens, four eights. Wow. Um, four, six. I don't see any real low ones. No, they're all four, four, fives. Four sixes. That's interesting. I didn't know they really had this on this website. It's really strong. But it, you know, it's got a lot to it, so don't sell it short. No, and so if you wanted to meet somebody in the lifestyle or just check out to see what other people are doing, definitely you could get a free membership, but if you're really serious about it. You're going to be limited how many emails you can get. You can get a bunch, but you can only respond to one or two a day. And you only get one or two photos, and they have to be G-rated. Yeah, exactly. So if you're really serious about it. Get the lifetime membership. It's the best deal. You pay either $35 a month, or for $200, you're a member for life. Yeah. We did that a long time ago when it was like $100 or $150. Like $120. Yeah, something 120 or 140. It was 20 years ago. Yeah, so we have like millions of pictures up. I mean, hundreds and hundreds. So that's cool. And they're always doing different things with this site too. So that's cool that you can, you know. It has a mobile app, which is okay. It's not great, I'll be honest. Yeah, I noticed you always complained about how clunky the site can be. It could be better. It could be better, I'm not going to argue. But they do have a lot of nice things. If you're really interested in experiencing anything, the swing or lifestyle, including free use. You can join groups. Oh, yeah, because we're a member of a group, too. We used to have a group. We had a group, yeah. So you can get part of groups that you can go to parties and meet people and house parties meet and greets so there's a ton in there so anyway i think that covered it yeah and then some all right so um not quite christmas not quite so we have uh one more show before christmas all right hang on what no you know this is don't try to figure it out okay we have one more show before Christmas
Speaker2:
so
Speaker1:
but still
Speaker2:
hope I
Speaker1:
hope I
Speaker2:
hope I All right. Hang on. What? Nope. Hang on. Today's, this is. Don't try to figure it out.
Speaker1:
Okay, we have one more show. We have one more show before Christmas, so. But still, I hope everybody's getting their stuff together, and hopefully you're all going to have a good Christmas, in case you don't hear us until after Christmas. Hope you enjoy it, and stay horny.
Speaker2:
Yep.
Speaker1:
Have a good night, everybody. We'll see you next time.
