In this episode of the Hot Wife Podcast, the hosts explore the intricate dynamics between eroticism and romance, discussing how these elements play distinct roles in relationships, particularly in the swinging lifestyle. They delve into the challenges couples face in maintaining intimacy and suggest practical ways to reignite romance. The conversation also touches on the nature of erotic experiences, including BDSM, and how they differ from romantic encounters, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in both romantic and erotic contexts.TakeawaysThe Hot Wife Podcast focuses on relationships and intimacy.Eroticism and romance are distinct yet interconnected.Swinging often emphasizes eroticism over romance.Romance can enhance erotic experiences but is not always necessary.Couples can regain intimacy through communication and date nights.Role-playing can help rekindle romance in relationships.Date nights should focus solely on each other, avoiding distractions.Swinging can sometimes lead to a lack of romantic effort.Erotic experiences can vary greatly depending on context and consent.Both partners are responsible for their own pleasure in intimate situations.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hot-wife-podcast-and-the-swinger-lifestyle--5343522/support. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this i'm here with my uh well wonderful wonderful husband, Vince, of course. How come it's only wonderful when we're on recording? Yeah, then you're lying. Son of a bitch. That's any other time. Speaker2: That's any other time. Speaker1: It's on these divorce papers. Oh, I would never say that to your face. Speaker2: No. Speaker1: You have someone serve them to me. Speaker2: Oh. Okay. I see where this is going. good need to show you finally good weather's here i know i'm looking forward to wearing a very skimpy bathing suit down by the pool not that warm yet i know it's not um it felt like it could be it felt like it could be i was like like it could be. I was like, I hope I can still get into my bathing suit. Well, if you can't get into it, then it's even more skimpy, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much. It's like, well, maybe I shouldn't even worry about wearing a suit too much. Whatever. I don't care either way. I know. So, hey, if you want to reach out to us, info at hotwifepodcast.com. Love to hear from people. You know from people you know if you have questions comments show concepts don't forget also check out the free magazine 50shadesofpleasure.com it's free and yeah it's about the lifestyle and sex in general good stuff going more towards sex anymore than it is swinging but there's swinging articles in there so enjoy it and i'm working on some changes that will possibly make a change even more we'll see oh okay i get these things to work well we'll see about that so anyway so what do you have on the docket for us today oh you were talking about some things and i kind of morphed we were talking originally you came up with the idea of um eroticism versus romance but i was doing some things and i kept saying like eroticism versus pornography and i was like oh that's a little more intriguing i get that i get that, eroticism, people, erotica is another term for porn. They say this is like a very fine line. It's like if you use a term, if you gaze at somebody, that's one way to look at them. Or if you leer at somebody, that's another way. That was called peeping Tom. No. I mean, that's how they were describing the difference between eroticism and pornography. I mean, they are very similar, but one just has a very dirty side. Well, no. I don't think it's necessarily dirty side. I mean, it is, but it isn't. I mean, I actually think think you know uh romance is more helping you become more um in love so to speak with the person or there's where the eroticism uh erotica or whatever is being more lustful and they're different they're different oh they're absolutely different you know i mean you know honestly swinging is more about erotica than it is about romance. Exactly. Oh, that's very true. That's very, very true. If romance gets involved, then there's problems, Houston. A lot of times, though, romance, since it seems like we are taking this direction, which is very cool, I was hoping we'd pick a road. With romance, it's not necessarily sex-based or sex-driven, where erotica definitely is. I mean, you can do romantic things. Romance can lead to erotica, but erotica can't really lead to romance. Not generally. Yeah, I can see that. I think romance, for me, when I think romance, I get these stupid imageries in my head. You think of romantic dinners and a nice bottle of wine and flowers and all the other... Everything I don't do. Exactly. Yeah. No, but I mean, or things like that, where you think of erotica, you think of what I would think of. I would think instead of roses there might be you know some rope involved or some spunk glue spunk glue or a toy or something like that i go at it more okay in a single person atmosphere i could do romance like you meet a woman in my case And, you know, you try to build it. It's like, okay, she's attractive. It's like, oh, my God, I'd like to, you know, have a relationship potentially with her. I want to find out more about her. Then I'm going to bang the snot on her. And then you're going to bring in all the erotica stuff. But now you look at it in swinging, you know, like at the house parties, you know, there was that one girl who was there as a single woman and, you know, I was over by the bar and she came over and, um, you know, again, being a unicorn, you know, it was like, she had a target on her back side and, you know, I just started a small conversation with her. I mean, I really had no concept that she would want to play with me. Right. But we're actually talking about bourbons and wines and stuff like that.
Speaker3:
And went on for 10, 15 minutes and got her to laugh a few times.
Speaker2:
And I said, so you're here by yourself, right? You're just saying, yeah. Like, do you want to go play? She said, yeah. That was erotic. That was erotic. You know? And then we went down and we played. There you go. She squirted all over my face multiple times. And then you bitched about the sheets being soaked. I did. I did, because I went down with my playmate, and you were on the other bed soiling that one, too. Well, by the time you got to that bed, I was already done with her. And then you laid in that bed while I was in the other bed ruining that one. I know. That's what I'm saying. But yeah. So I climb on, and it's like this giant wet spot. Like, oh, my God. It wasn't my fault. I didn't leave the wet spot. Blame her. There's chucks. You went right through the giant. She went through them. I didn't ejaculate anything. No, I meant she squirted right through. They had these, like, giant cotton chucks. She had about 30 orgasms. Yeah, well. Like I said, man, it looked like I was diving in the pool. You know, I would not want to do their laundry the next day. You didn't have to, so. Yeah, there you go. So it wasn't too bad. But man, that was very erotic.
Speaker3:
That was not romantic, but that was definitely very erotic.
Speaker2:
It's like romance is good up to a certain point, and then you can just jump off into the erotica part.
Speaker1:
But you're right. There's no jumping from erotica back to romance. Romance is, I don't know. You kind of jump the fence at that point. Romance is the first side of the fence in general, most relationships. And then you move into erotic. Right. Our relationship, when we first met, we were business partners and just best friends. Yes, there was no. There was not even romance. There wasn't even romance. Uh-uh. Nada. And then we didn't actually get romance. Like once that. Once there was alcohol involved. Yeah. And I jumped on you. But once the interest was peaked in you to share your affection for me, then we jumped past romance into erotica and then romance actually came later. Yeah, that's weird. That doesn't usually happen that way. Usually, you know, a couple, the man traditionally will woo a woman, will take her to dinner. I mean, these are very traditional things. We'd eaten plenty of meals together. It wasn't romantic, but we'd eaten plenty of meals. That's like the common thing. You go out on dates, you see if you're compatible, and then you take the next step. But we just did things backwards. Maybe there was a lot of pent-up sexual frustration that we were unaware of. I didn't really feel like I was. I didn't think so either, but I thought, well, okay, maybe it's subliminal. I had no concept ever that you would ever have done that, you know, come at me sexually. I jumped on you, yeah. Yeah, I didn't think I would do that either. Or let me ask you about the hot dates, because you go out and have dinner and everything else. Right. Does that have semblance of romance? Oh, that's an interesting point. I didn't even think about that. But it's like pseudo-romance. It's supplemental romance. Supplemental. That leads to erotica. Right, right. But it's like it's a pseudo- it's a pseudo romantic uh what what you're you're going through when your ritual it's it's pseudo romantic because you're doing the same rituals as a quote dating couple would do but you know the end game there is no you know no meeting the parents there's no meeting the parents there you know you're gonna get laid Meet Bob we just have sex together that's it I mean you know married to Vince but this is Bobby thanks to shit out of my ass that's true Bob didn't but yeah I mean it it's kind of like a game that we play. We know that we're false dating, and we can call each other honey or whatever. But for single guys that you go on these dates with, it kind of gives them pseudo-illusion of romance. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's like you're giving them the girlfriend treatment in a way. But everybody wink, wink, nod, nod. We know it's for fun it's it's not real we obviously know that but yeah and they don't care because they know it's like woohoo i don't have to wine and diner i know i'm gonna get laid that's part of the i can wine and diner and it's not going to waste i'm getting laid you're getting a date with some girl that's not a certain lifestyle you take her out you, you know, dinner and drinks and whatever, and then you're praying, like, oh, please be horny, please be horny. And you get back to her place or your place or whatever. Thank you. And it's just like, hey, that was great. I had a great time. Give me a call. You know? Yeah. It's like, mom. That's terrible. That's it that's it that's terrible no you don't know where you know being in the lifestyle oh it's just like yeah you want a hot day yeah it's pretty much given dinner have a few drinks and then i'm getting fucking screwed blued and tattooed hot damn but in a good way there's a bad way well getting if you're getting screwed blued and tattooed, isn't that But in a good way. There's a bad way? Well, if you're getting screwed, blued, and tattooed, doesn't that mean it's bad? Depends. Okay. Everybody has their own definition of bad, you know? Well, no, I mean, that expression, I'm like, when I hear somebody, they got screwed, they got blued and tattooed, that's... Oh, sometimes people refer to it like getting drunk. Oh, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, getting plastered. I've never heard of it used that way, but okay, I'll take it. I'm easy that way. I mean, I can see, I mean, obviously in the vanilla couples, I mean, in a standard couple, I got a cough, hold on. Sorry about that. Oh, it's okay. Um, how do, how do couples, I mean, in a standard couple... Right. I got a cough. Hold on. Sorry about that. Oh, it's okay. How do couples... I mean, some couples even have lost the romance. And then, obviously, have lost the eroticism. So, how would you tell a vanilla couple how to regain both? Oh, my God. Besides become a swinger god besides become a swinger become a swinger whoa that's that's i you know you have to go back to a time where they were i guess maybe more smitten with each other and what with what did they do with how did they you know was this did they go to dances did they is this maybe where maybe role-playing comes in handy yeah maybe you know where you sit there and pretend like hey i'm an out-of-town salesman hey when you're here for a trade show and hey if role-playing will work for you i'm not i'm not bashing you i'm just saying yeah if you can put that and get that romance back in to ultimately lead to some kind of eroticism. But, you know, it's, wow, that's tough because, you know, hey, maybe just start out with just bringing home flowers for your significant amount.
Speaker4:
Well, how about-
Speaker1:
Just something like that.
Speaker2:
Just get the ball rolling.
Speaker1:
But how about you make an agreement? You're going to go out to a nice evening, to a nice dinner.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
Whatever, get a babysitter. You know, give it to mom or whatever. Okay. Get the kids if you have them. And then how about you make an agreement? We're going to do it.
Speaker4:
We're going to do it.
Speaker1:
We're going to do it. We're going you have them and then how about you make an agreement we're going to go out we're not talking about anything but each other we're not going to talk about the bills we're not going to talk about shit at work we're not going to talk about focus on each other that actually would definitely would make sense you know talk about what you'd love about each other what you you know tell what what do you find sexy about each other but you know so this i mean that would take like three dinners because you wouldn't be able to stop oh that's so true too like oh you're so sexy this way so sexy in so many ways that way now this goes back to the importance of of having a date night did we know we did that show didn't we a couple shows ago okay that's what i thought and this kind of waiting for my date night this comes back around like maybe having a date night we'll start that a little bit of romance and like you said don't talk about anything but each other don't talk about work now that'll be get back to get back to you as a couple right right and i think it's even for swinger couples you know how about you go out and just talk about yeah you could talk the same thing about each other you could talk about some of the sexiest things you've seen the other person do or you know what you like what they do or you know what you want them to do again repeat repetitively repetitively is that Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, I'm trying to. But, you know, what you like what they do or, you know, what you want them to do again repetitively. Repetitively, is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, I'm trying to. But, you know, I mean, I even think that swinger couples, I think swinging can give you an excuse not to be romantic.
Speaker2:
Oh.
Speaker1:
Yeah, well, because you kind of skip over that whole. Well, you sit there and like, okay, hey. That whole section there. You know, it's like, hey, she's not in the mood. Well, I get to go fucking bang Susan down the street or whoever. You know what I mean? As long as everybody's on board, I don't have a problem with that. It's like, I'm going to get laid no matter what. Right. You know, we'll go to a house party. We're going to a club. I'm going to get laid. Right. I don't have to wine and dine her anymore. Right. Right. No, I'm not saying that happens all the time no no but yeah you've never bought me flowers but that's another story um it's next show um but i could buy you flowers yeah yeah you buy me a kind to like make bread with here cook for me bitch but anyway you're really good at that so i can't complain But anyway, yeah, I think, again, not every couple. Mm-hmm. Um. for me, bitch. You're really good at that, so I can't complain. I think, again, not every couple. There's one couple I'm thinking of at the parties we go to that they seem to be at the parties. I don't even see them interact together oh you're right now that you mention it that's odd you know she's so like she's great yeah he's a great guy too now i don't know if they have their own issues i mean i don't go and it's not like you and i are attached at the hip at the parties no but i mean. No, but there's times like I might be sitting there and you come over next to me and I put my arm around you and stuff, but I don't see that couple even doing that. I mean, one of the instances where you were getting attention, you know, this woman was there and none of the men there gave her the time of day. Are you kidding me? No, no. She's hot. Your birthday party. Oh, that woman. Yes. Okay, there's a couple that I like. Yeah, there's another couple too, but I'm talking about that couple. Oh, yes. And it's just like, no, she's lovely. She's beautiful. She's, you know, and it's just like, I don't know why she doesn't get, I don't know. I mean, when it comes to romance, I guess, I mean, I'll put it that way. I mean, you're first on my list, or even eroticism, you're first on my list. I wonder if this, because they're definitely so, they're more ingrained into the BDSM world so eroticism and erotica is like i first and foremost i mean she's wearing all kinds of chains or nipples or pierce so she's definitely okay well here's another top another avenue same topic same topic i can't speak to it so i'm going to ask questions okay i'm okay the bbsm world yes at what point is there romance involved in that or even eroticism because i personally don't see eroticism but that's me i see more eroticism in in the bdsm aspect than romance that's for sure i don't feel any kind of romance when uh my dom was flogging the bottoms of my feet you know what i'm saying that's not romantic at all but it was wonderful would that have felt as uh erotic if you weren't blindfolded oh um no i think i think having my my senses taken away my vision taken away okay so i'm asking a question i don't because i don't know so depending on the situation the level of eroticism can vary oh yeah it really can that that's another really good point yeah i mean so if you're cognitive of what's about to happen or what is happening and you can anticipate when something is going to hit you right flog you whatever term you want to use does that take away the eroticism versus being blindfolded and not knowing when the next strike is going to happen or when then i know what you're saying or where it's going to happen well here's the thing just because you have you're missing a sense like you're you're blindfolded He did a a show on the senses exactly but i don't think that either increases or diminishes the amount of eroticism there is i mean i i think it's more erotic if you're blindfolded but there's all kinds of but if you're not blindfolded i don't think that's less erotic necessarily i just think it's more erotic if you don't know what's going on because i felt like i was it was a whole different the stimuli was different so my mind was in a different place so i was uh remember when um so i would argue that oh yeah you think no i'm going back to like one of the few times that i've had you and another woman right now i've, I've always not been blindfolded. Right, exactly. But I sit there and think about, like, if I was blindfolded and the two of you were doing whatever, there's a level of eroticism going on for, okay, whose mouth is that? Right, yeah. Here, who's sitting on me? Exactly. You know, when you don't have your hands and your eyes right i i think that increases the level of eroticism yeah that's what i'm saying obviously no romance oh no romance other than i love the way this feels yeah oh no i i i see what you're saying but i'm saying you know whether you're blindfolded or not i mean it could it kicks it up it kicks it up a little bit you know i mean yeah again i i was seeing who was doing what i was able to touch who was doing what and that was erotic and great right but you know let's put that you know again not trying to take anything away from it but let's put that at a seven as far as eroticism goes well sit down blindfolded my hands are bound and i can't touch or feel that takes it up to a 12 well here's one question i do have for you because you are a very visual person and i i am to some degree but i mean men in general are definitely more visual if you're blindfolded it might increase the amount of eroticism but isn't the the visual effect what gets you going and if that's taken away how is that different this would be the one of the only examples i can say this would make a difference for me right i'm not a control freak no i know that in any way shape or form okay but that element also at that point of quote unquote being, being out of control, being vulnerable. Oh, yeah. I'm not a cuck. I'm not a fucking, I'm not a sub or anything else. But at that point, that element of like, oh my God, these two women, and it better always just always just be see if you're blindfolded on uh which one of those twos has a penis whoa donna you better shave your nubs your car i don't remember your being that big your whiskers are my balls um but that's No, that element of quote-unquote helplessness has a slight level of eroticism. It's not something I want every day, unless you know some women. But, yeah, no, I think that would kick up the eroticism. Yeah, I think so, too. That's why I like I'll go one step further. That's why I like being restrained. And it's just not to the point that I'm hurting myself, but there's just that little bit of struggle. Like, you can, like, lift your head. Like, when I was bound to that one massage table or, yeah, I guess it was a massage table at the party. It was my birthday party. I had my legs down, my arms down, but guess it was a massage table at the party of my birthday party and I had the legs down, my arms down, but they left just enough room that I could wiggle. So I could wiggle and I could almost kind of get to my, a little bit on my left side so I could suck somebody's dick and I can move a little bit to the right, but I couldn't sit up all the way. Sure. That was incredibly tantalizing. Like you said, that feeling of helplessness sort of that, that struggle I found very, very titillating, very erotic.
Speaker2:
It, it was,
Speaker1:
that was really good.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
And again, but I don't want that every day. Like when we're messing around,
Speaker4:
um,
Speaker1:
it's again, not losing control or anything else, but like what's erotic for me is hearing you talk about you're like whatever experience you may have just had right or experience you want to have or you're planning to have when you sit there and tell me about like you know that yeah one of my erotic buttons is your pleasure i i find it very I find it very erotic. So when you sit there and it's like, oh, man, I can't wait. I'm seeing XYZ this weekend or whatever. Right, right. Like, oh, my God, you know, he shoots such a big load into me or whatever it might be. Oh, I do like those green buttons. Oh, you know, I hope the team bus fits in the driveway, you know. They had the double park last time. It's like, oh my God, yeah, then all the fans are outside waiting for autographs. And you're pissed off because they're for the team, not for you. But, no, to me, that is one of my go buttons.
Speaker2:
Yes.
Speaker1:
You know, that's erotic. I got it, yeah. And that there's a realism to it.
Speaker2:
Right. I don't want a fake thing, you know. I want it to be, you know, whenever I'm hearing those things from you, I want it to be a legit thing. Right, exactly. You know, and not like, oh, my God, I'd be so turned on if you finish redoing the deck. Oh, my God. Bring that firewood to the back of the crib. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm getting so wet. I'm thinking about you carrying. Oh, my God. Cleaning up around the pool. Oh, now that could be pretty. Yeah, no. But anyway. I could do that. House chores are not erotic, okay? Yeah, but skimming the pool is not a house chore. Not erotic either. I mean, okay, for you, if Juan with a Speedo and, you know, his cock hanging out of it is, you know. Hey, Juan, come over here. I have to do my laundry on your washboard. It kind of gets erotic yeah pretty erotic but uh one goes mr snyder you're sexy you're fine oh come on honey you are a hot guy i mean mr vince do you want to go swimming with me no the out of my face i'll take a swimmer I drowns in the deep end you only have a person to clean up what's just us so that's but um anyway yeah i i think your romance is a more delicate thing yeah i agree i was and i think eroticism is something that evolves if you do it right in a relationship yeah i see a lot more uh like you said lust passion those kind of things along with erotica a romance is like you said it's more tender it's more delicate there's more the the light kisses a gentle massage as opposed to being flogged the precursor to flogging but yeah i mean it's like the the baby steps before you you know jump into the deep end of the pool yeah but yeah no i think you know i mean i couples need both. I agree. But swingers, outside of your relationship with your significant other, they need just eroticism. I just want eroticism. I don't want... That's all it is. I mean, if you had to, I think if you had to define what swinging is about is the search for eroticism. That's actually very, that's very good, yes. Because I get scared off if somebody starts wanting to talk, either being in a polyamorous relationship with you and me, uh-uh, I'm running. Yeah. Or somebody really wants to make me his, quote, girlfriend, uh-uh, I'm out of there. I don't ask anymore. Oh, that's been you all this time oh sorry but no i really think swinging yeah i don't even want is really the the search for eroticism yeah you know you're looking for what's the next erotic situation i can be in you know fucking a guy's wife in front of him. It's erotic. It is er in. You know, fucking a guy's wife in front of him. That's erotic. It is erotic. You know, watching your wife get fucked is erotic. I agree.
Speaker3:
You know, fucking in a group, you know, is erotic.
Speaker2:
You know? Yeah. Watching, whatever.
Speaker1:
I mean, there's so many levels of, you know, swinging that I think people. But it's all very basic very primal very um i want to say yeah very primal like you want to you want to have an orgasm so it's very basic i i think it's more selfish in some aspects it can be not for me no not honestly i i give far more than i receive that's true that's true but i mean um yeah for me it's a little more selfish i'm responsible for my orgasm so i take that i take that to the bank you know and if i'm and if i'm up and down on the stick and if he happens to come to that's great you know but we're all responsible for our own orgasm i agree you should be you know how to talk to your partner you know what you need you know in a nice way so you can everybody gets their needs met but so that's our concept on romance versus eroticism yeah we went around a long block but that's okay yeah it's all right i'd love to hear you know your thoughts and stuff uh email us info at hotwifepodcast.com I'd love to hear your thoughts and stuff. Email us, info at hotwifepodcast.com. I'd love to hear your twists or thoughts or experiences.
Speaker2:
Twist.
Speaker1:
That's another one. All right, everyone. Have a great night. Stay horny. Have a good night, everybody. We'll see you next time.
