Differences between OPen Relationships and Swingers

Transcript

Speaker1: Welcome to the Hot Wife Podcast, where we dive into discussions about relationships, intimacy, and everything in between. Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the host and guests, and should be taken as opinions, not professional or medical advice. Additionally, we remind all listeners that this podcast is intended for adults over the age of 18. Unauthorized rebroadcast of this show is strictly prohibited without the written permission of the owners of Hot Wife Podcast. I'm here with my, of course, wonderful husband, Vince. Of course. Of course. How are you doing today, babe? I'm in mourning. You're still upset about that bottle of Buffalo Trace exploding in your truck? Yes. That was really expensive. That was an expensive little oops. It got so warm it was laying on its side, it popped a cork and spilled over three-quarters of a bottle of Buffalo Trace. More like seven, eights of a Buffalo Trace, which is really, well, is it hard to get still? Yeah. That's what I thought. Now, the good, the positive is my truck smells like Buffalo Trace. That's not so positive. That's not a very good positive. That's a better air smell than, you know. Oh, true. But if you get pulled over, it's like, no, I wasn't drinking, officer. I swear to God, a bottle, like, exploded in my truck. I think, Mr. You need to get out of the car and put your hands on the, put your hands on the. I've never pulled over anyway, so I'm not worried about that. But if that was to happen, it's like, I'll take a breath test, big deal. Yeah, right away. I'll take a blood test. I'll take a urine test. I swear to God, the bottle bowled over, rolled over, and then popped the cork. As I tell the story and tears start to come out of my eyes, they'll know it was the truth. You don't understand. Buffalo trees, bitch. So anyway, but how are you doing today? I'm just doing wonderful.
Speaker2: Oh, my.
Speaker1: I'll see you next time. you don't understand buffalo trees bitch uh so anyway but how are you doing today i'm just doing wonderful oh my i had a couple uh about an hour or so i've been being in the pool i'm gonna enjoy these last few days before it gets cold you were in yesterday so today i was like it's 90 something degrees i'm going in the pool for a bit yeah take a little break between my work yeah i got the little picture of you in a bikini top. Yeah, I just like, hey, I'm here, waving at you. I didn't see the hand. I saw breasts. Yeah, that's probably most of the picture. That's all I cared about. So, the ugly stuff. Oh, it's not so ugly. Where do you want to start? No, it's part of the bores people. Okay. You want to reach out to us? Reach out to us at? At info at hotwifepodcast.com. There you go. I keep wanting to use the old one, so you're going to have to stop me. I will. I'm sure you will. And then you'll berate me and embarrass me in front of everybody. I might give you an A. I might not rate you a B. Oh, B, rate me. Okay, A, rate me. And then if you are in a situation that you need some lubricant. Ah, spunklube.com. Spunklube makes a variety of wonderful products. Now they have a hybrid, which is a water-based one, and that one I use the most. That one, it's not sticky. It's water-soluble, so it doesn't stain anything. And they also have a silicone. They have an all-natural one, too, which you might like, so you can try them all out. all out they're all wonderful and they do great they don't wreck your toys they don't uh cause any kind of irritation and if you go to their website at spunk glue.com and you purchase something when you go to the checkout you can type in hot wife all one word and you'll get 10 off your purchase i highly recommend it and uh yeah have some fun with it it's really slipping and sliding it's good stuff so then yes where can people see uh hotwife.lin.com you can find me there and see what I'm doing or not doing or who I'm doing or what I'm doing it's everything and anything so well not anything yeah I have to keep it you know within certain realms here spca stopped you from something so anyway you're just you're so wrong on so many levels and then another endeavor we have is the magazine 50 shades of pleasure easy for me to say dot com there we have articles pertaining to the swinger lifestyle as well as anything that might be sexual sexual and orientation including sexual orientation so something like that so have some fun with that and uh see the uh all the articles that vince is writing and sort of writing and finding information kind of sort of writing i get some help you get to be creative too which is kind of fun i know you like that yeah Thank you. and sort of writing and finding information on it. Kind of sort of writing. I get some help. You get to be creative too, which is kind of fun. I know you like that. Yeah. I lay out the whole magazine. Yeah. But anyway, so now, so actually tonight's topic is actually from an article in the magazine. Right, right. I read it while we were still setting up here. On my phone, it was like, so tiny. But yeah, it's the difference between open relationships. That's why I don't send you pictures of my penis. Because it's so tiny? Yeah. Especially on your phone. Well, it might look bigger on my phone. You know, everything is, you know, perspective. It's all about perspective. I've been telling you after years, and you're like, it's just that small stop it oh anyway the article that we're going to be talking about tonight is about the difference between open relationships and swinging and i guess there is a difference i was reading there and i in my eye the differences the differences are similar, but a little different. Go ahead. Yeah. And to me, and the article is contrary to what I'm thinking, I'm always thinking like a really open relationship is just that. I mean, it's, yeah, you get together with your, I'll say significant other, but there's, you're going to be out playing with other people I think it's um for me an open relationship and I could be wrong to me seems like there's less commitment in an open relationship like you it's like two ships passing the night yeah you get together you might have a house together you might whatever live together but i i don't feel like the commitment is as strong as in a swing relationship i think and the article you know says the exact opposite so i could be totally off base here again we talked a little bit um i think the opening relationship is closer to a polygonal thing polyamorous that too
Speaker2: you can have Closer to a polygonal thing. Polyamorous.
Speaker3: Oh, that too.
Speaker2: Polyamorous.
Speaker3: Where you can have multiple partners, but there's emotions tied in with it.
Speaker1: I guess. What the article basically says is that there's emotions tied in with it. I have enough trouble just having. It's not saying you.
Speaker2: Yeah, I know.
Speaker1: For swingers, it's like, no, you have a stable relationship. Right. As much as you can have. As much as you can have. But you just go out and enjoy the fun of sex without emotions tied into it with other people. Right. Okay, show's over. Okay, perfect. Okay. That works. See ya. I um yeah the um the open slash um polygonal one polyamorous polygonal it's a multi-sided thing um you know i think yeah that is a tougher a white pill to swallow you know, there's so much more involved, trying to have emotions. Yeah, it's just not, I can't. Well, just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's. It's a lot of work. You know, you're like ass munching. Like ass munch men, you know. I should have worn my hat. Yeah, not the show. When we do an ass munching show, I'm going to wear it. I looked at the schedule. That's not going to be on for years, maybe never. I didn't see a man-ass-munching segment at all for any of these shows. No, it's completely clear of men's ass-munching. Okay. Women's ass-munching multiple times. But male- male ass munching not so much no um anyway whereas i think the swinging aspect of you know having multiple play partners right without emotional is far easier to manage i agree with that i don't i maybe i'm just mixing up the labels on them. I'm mixing up the labels of open relationship and swinger. But that's all I feel. It's a lot easier just to have. I mean, I like my playmates. They're fun. I enjoy going out with them. I enjoy talking to them. I don't want to have a boyfriend experience, though, with them to a degree you do do a degree degree but it's a very like casual degree it's not you know oh we're gonna be you know spending a weekend at the mountains that we talked about before with other and my next comment is i think swingers can get close to it you can run up to the edge of that right you know if you have a a couple playmates or a playmate that is a favorite yeah yeah you can get real close and you go on Thank you. run up to the edge of that right you know if you have a a couple playmates or a playmate that is a favorite yeah yeah you can get real close and you go on semi-regular hot dates right yeah i could see where you would develop potentially some level of emotion right you know um yeah i don't know if it works for everyone but it depends on the person absolutely i mean but yeah it's just trying to keep those emotions intact and with the playmates that that i have um i mean they're great people don't get me wrong but there's no way i could picture myself having anything more than just slapping nasties with them and maybe go out for a casual dinner or something like that but nothing more but that's also i think because um i'll over speak my bounds but we have a stable relationship yeah okay whatever you're gonna call it dear i'm um unstable that's what you meant to say no i was right no you meant to say i'm unstable you said i'm stable but no no no you meant to say unstable only when i'm around you um but anyway the um you know um yeah it could easily you know if someone if you were not happy in your main relationship like me i like you just like you thank you you're welcome i could see where all of a sudden you start looking sure intent but that that goes beyond swinging that's a relationship issue that's a relationship issue absolutely and if you're not happy in the main hub of your relationship adding other things on to it is not going to make it any better no no you have to have a good foundation sure we've talked about that numerous times with um the aspect of if you're not in a good relationship swinging it's not where you want to be no open relationships is not where you want to be either no no any of those things are when you start adding people to this pyramid you know you start adding things to it and you don't have something nice and stable in the bottom it's gonna come crashing down it's gonna be ugly it could be ugly i've i've heard i've heard it could get ugly i've seen samples i've seen samples I just got off the phone with one of them.
Speaker2: Yep.
Speaker1: Oh, my. Another story, another show. But, yeah, the open relationship thing, you know, even with the polyamorous. Did I say it right that time? I like polycomber better. Again, people that that works for, that's great. I'm not taking anything away from you. No, no. I just, on a personal level, yeah, I don't have that much to give. I just feel like, for me, my life is already so complicated to add another person into it. It would just be, it would be a disaster. Well especially how about how about couples that have children exactly and then you know trying to explain to them well this is a this is uncle or auntie or oh these are your two aunts and you all sleep in the same room well yeah well we're trying to save energy yeah um i don't think that would go over very well. Yeah, again, I mean, there's a lot of people raising kids different ways. I don't have to agree with it, but it is what it is. That's almost like a, just going off on a little bit of a sidebar here, like the whole commune type of mentality, you know, with like all these, you know you know there's all these couples but they're always swapping and the men are you know you always hear about these the whole cult or commune type of mentality where the women are subservient or the men can have their pick and it's wow that's just way out of my my realm i i don't want to be there do you think um we talked about this i think one other time a long time ago that like if i said to you for whatever reason like okay i'm done with swinging is it something like you would sit there go okay well then we'll do a call do the opening relationship thing or i'm gonna get you're gonna keep swinging on your own oh i i wouldn't be i i would just give it up too would you yeah yeah the half the fun is is being with you that's half the fun and and seeing like your reactions and knowing that it's teasing you there's a with something that we do together that's what i like about it it's i enjoy doing that with you i don't mind if you go out and you have like you know little uh excursions or whatever with that's been years yeah whatever whenever that happens and and i have my little hot dates or whatever i don't We wouldn't call yours a hot date where we call it a hot date would that be a hot date i haven't been on a hot date they were just kind of things that happened like the one time mickey was over and hanging out the right and then you had that was a over a year ago and then you had uh that was it that was the last time i had oh that was the last time sure that was were right there for that. Oh, yeah. See, that's half the fun, though, is just observing it and just, you know, being a part of it. Well, you can partake in my excursions. I don't partake in yours. I understand that. You have made that abundantly clear, dear. And I will continue. That way you don't get any expectations. I don't. I just. Those who do that, that's great. Have fun. That's awesome. But for me, it's, for me, swinging is not that important to our relationship. If you said, hey, I don't really want to do this anymore for whatever reason, it was like, okay, done. No big deal. So we go for a divorce then? Go for a divorce. Why? Because you don't want to. that's not what we've done. No. Oh, okay. Silly. No, I'm fine. It's something we do together. And then if we quit together, we do it together. Oh, and again, as we've talked about, you know, we have rules. Yeah. We do have our own set of rules. I think every swinger couple has their own rules. We experienced something over summer where some other couple had felt their rules might have been overlooked by one of the other people. Right, right. So they kind of.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: Do you have to put them up on the wall? Well, I mean, people have their. Yeah, I mean, everyone's got their comfort zone. And the rules are set up by comfort zone. I mean, like, our main rules are honesty, safety. Honesty, safety, and, of course, communication. And no farm animals. Absolutely no farm animals. I don't care how cute that goat was the kids call dad i know i knew you were gonna go to that bad joke but um no and you know other people have their own rules i agree you know some people are more dominant than others yes absolutely And they think that because they are more dominant they deserve primary attention yeah they want things their own yeah primary attention they want things their way primary attention and the other person is in this case somebody gets their ass hurt yeah they get their feelings hurt or they feel you know a little insecure or whatever but i guess just just i want a little side note from there is um we know that all couples have their rules my my problem with navigating this ocean of the swinging realm is how do you know what their rules are i mean sometimes i'm pretty blunt i'm like okay what are your rules a lot of times people already come out and they're like oh these are our rules and it's like okay good and they come out this book and it's a whole a lot of times okay here's my book here's my rules we tend to meet couples like one-on-one yes we'll go out to have drinks or exactly whatever and if things are progressing well not that necessarily we're going to play that night but that's like okay there is the potential that this time or next time maybe um we generally say so you know what are you guys rules yeah we usually do it should be that is part of a conversation before anybody plays a single with a couple.
Speaker2: Right.
Speaker1: Or single and single even.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: I mean, you know, like one of the rules we have for you is.
Speaker2: No choking. No choking.
Speaker1: I mean, we tell whoever, no choking. And a couple of times we forgot to do that.
Speaker2: Yeah.
Speaker1: And I mean, I'm in the middle of, you know, doing something. This guy comes up with his hand right on my neck and I'm like, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. Just. Yeah, yeah. Before I have to step in. Well, usually there, if I just gently, like, push it away or just say, no, I'm not into that, or I try to, you know, whisper, hey, we don't do that. It usually is deflected pretty easily. But, you know, there's a lot of guys like, oh, I thought you were into that. It was like, I never said I was into that. Or they come and they just scoop me up and just pick me up and start, you know, throwing me around like a little rag doll. It's like, well, sometimes that can be fun. The fact that you're 4'11", it's, you know. me around like a little rag doll it's like well sometimes that can be fun the fact that you're four foot eleven is you know i i i know i'm i'm like fun size and there are some bigger guys are like oh boy you're about the size of a barbie doll i can just pick you up and flip you around and spin you on my dick it's like uh maybe my younger days i've been fine. At 64, a little more difficult. There's a couple little problems here. But anyway. Yeah, so back to the original topic. You know, we can't say there's anything wrong with the open relationship. I mean, everybody has to do what's good for them you know um i think ultimately comes back towards swinging yeah it's a it's just a different version of swinging do you think yeah i think so when you have a i think that goes under the the umbrella of non-monogamous relationships however you want to it's under that umbrella Absolutely. I mean swinging is non-monogamous of course if you're having sex with other people other than your marital partner i guess that would be considered non-monogamous right and that makes sense yeah i'd be on board with that one critique me of course i am so i live for that oh yeah i get critiqued by you all the time. Not once. Oh, my God. This show. This show, okay. That's fine. That's fine, dear. It's fine. But, yeah, I mean, just as long as you're honest with the people that you're with and the communication of what your expectations are, whether you want to be in a polyamorous relationship or you're just there for the exploration of sexual pleasure, you have to let these people know what your goals are, I suppose. Well, the one thing I don't think we touched on is, at what point is what someone calls, we've had people say, oh, I'm in an open relationship. No, you're fooling around and your significant other doesn't know yes okay that there's a difference there's a whole they just use that as a way to say so you know so it was another aspect of the open relationship yeah it's so open she doesn't even know that she's in an open relationship or she is open yeah to other but their their partner is isn't open to it and doesn't even know about it yeah then that's not or they say oh i'm i'm allowed to swing alone it's like yeah i want that in writing i'm allowed to swing alone until my partner finds out then i'm a deep doo-doo then i'm single then i'm in divorce court or whatever oh my god yeah so it, so it's an interesting aspect of how you want to define it. Yeah, I agree. And I had the two kind of flip-flopped. Swinging? How do you get swinging and flip-flopped? No, no, the swinging and open relationship flip-flopped. Yeah, I've always thought open relationship was swinging. Because you you both are open to playing with other people i never looked at it from the aspect of um emotions right right but then i would be like okay but then there's polyamorous so how is polyamorous different than open so there's a whole lot if you're going to define open as having multiple play partners is that you're open to emotions, that is polyamorous. I would agree. I don't know if there would be a difference. And feel free to email us at info at hotwifepodcast.com. If you have any more insight on this, we'd love to read what you have to say. Maybe have you call into the show and have you talk about it. Maybe no more than we do. We claim to be experts about nothing. I think we've established that.
Speaker2: Yeah. Well,
Speaker1: now this is going to be our first published show to put on YouTube and another channel. So we'll see.
Speaker2: So,
Speaker4: all right,
Speaker1: I'm done.
Speaker2: Okay. You're done.
Speaker1: Then I can say good night,
Speaker2: everybody.